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Speaker 1: Today, I affd up by accidentally facetiming my boss while

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Speaker 1: I was deep into my wife's cheeks at one am.

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Speaker 1: You know, sometimes you just in those cheeks and you're like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I got FaceTime, boss, show them, help them work on

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Speaker 1: this ass. Put work in a booty throw away obviously,

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Speaker 1: but this happened last night. Got home from work and

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Speaker 1: wife and myself decided to part take in a few

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Speaker 1: glasses of hawie and joints. Everything was going swell. We

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Speaker 1: got the kids to bed, then cuddled in bed to

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Speaker 1: watch a movie. At some point I decided to get

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Speaker 1: up and take a shower. But then my wife got

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Speaker 1: up and she was standing in all her glory in

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Speaker 1: a little blue corset and see through undies, and from

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Speaker 1: there it was all over. Oh yeah. So we start

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Speaker 1: going at it and then I hear a sound next

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Speaker 1: to us, and thinking back on it, it sounded like the

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Speaker 1: sound of the iPhone mix we're making a FaceTime call.

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Speaker 1: But at the time, my high drunk ass I thought

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Speaker 1: it was an alarm I forgot to shut off. So

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Speaker 1: my dumb ass pauses, grabs my phone from right beside us,

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Speaker 1: and shuts off the alarm. Quote unquote I'm on my

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Speaker 1: knees in bed, with the phone and hand resting on

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Speaker 1: the bed in front of me. I stare at the

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Speaker 1: phone for about fifteen seconds, and then it hits me

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Speaker 1: what I've done, But by then it was too late.

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Speaker 1: A disgruntled obviously just woken from slumberman answers the phone

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Speaker 1: and I hear, Oh, what the hell the funk? The

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Speaker 1: front facey camera gave my boss full view of my

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Speaker 1: gorge python HD. The only thing I could muster to say,

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, I'm so sorry. This was a butt dial.

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Speaker 1: I hung up. Yeah, it was. Oh my god, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. I have absolutely no clue how this happened,

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Speaker 1: trust me, Me and my wife were in shock afterwards,

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Speaker 1: scrambling to figure out what the fuck just happened. I

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Speaker 1: sat there for a few minutes, looking at my recent calls,

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Speaker 1: just staring at the screen, going through the steps of

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Speaker 1: my head that had created the perfect storm events. All

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Speaker 1: I know is the fund was next to us, and

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Speaker 1: vaguely remember at some point before the incident pushing it

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Speaker 1: to the side to make a bit of room for

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Speaker 1: some more fun. Onto the update, I spoke with my

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Speaker 1: boss right before the end of the workday to address

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Speaker 1: a work related topic, and it looks like I'll be

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Speaker 1: keeping my job. I wrote for a small business on

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Speaker 1: a large corporate entity, so I don't need to answer

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Speaker 1: to some large HR department. It was actually me that

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Speaker 1: brought up a topic because I didn't want the rest

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Speaker 1: of my days at the company to be filled with

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Speaker 1: awkward silence with my boss. So I was up front,

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Speaker 1: and luckily he wasn't defended, and he evenly jokingly talked

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Speaker 1: about how he was going to call me back to

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Speaker 1: make sure everything was still going well. This will never

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Speaker 1: be let down, but at least I think at some

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Speaker 1: point we can move beyond it and return to some

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Speaker 1: kind of normalcy. Boss of the Year Award, Boss of

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Speaker 1: the Year Award. He could be the boss of his

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Speaker 1: ass ooh baby,