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Speaker 1: Okay, hey y'all, I'm Dr Joy Harden Bradford, a license

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Speaker 1: psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm so happy you found

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Speaker 1: your way to our little corner of the world here

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Speaker 1: at the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls is the destination for all things mental health, personal development,

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Speaker 1: and all of the small decisions we can make to

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Speaker 1: become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here we have

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Speaker 1: the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper

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Speaker 1: into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with

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Speaker 1: our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Each week we explore topics like managing difficult relationships with

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Speaker 1: our mothers. We've got to stop expecting an elephant to

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Speaker 1: me out, because elephants dont me out, you know, cats

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Speaker 1: me out. We're not shock when kids me out, and

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Speaker 1: because that's what they do, that's what their nature is,

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Speaker 1: that's what their character, you know, So we shouldn't be shocked.

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Speaker 1: Likewise when a mother who is self absorbed to self updore,

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Speaker 1: or when a mother who's an alcoholic is an alcoholic,

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Speaker 1: or when a mother who is a complainer complaint. We

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be shot because they're in character maintaining self. While

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Speaker 1: in romantic relationship, you might have really been interested in writing,

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Speaker 1: but now you have found that there's something else that's

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Speaker 1: following your attention, or there's something else that you're really

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Speaker 1: interested in. But again that it's coming back to that

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Speaker 1: self reflection piece is the spending time with yourself and

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Speaker 1: figuring out what is it I need most now and

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Speaker 1: you being your biggest advocate for having those needs met,

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Speaker 1: versus yet expecting or anticipating someones or something outside you

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Speaker 1: to guide you in that direction making friends as an adult,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put myself in contexts and spaces which allows

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Speaker 1: for to tenuous, unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability. And so

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Speaker 1: for those people who really liked the idea of friendships

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Speaker 1: developing organically, think about like joining an improcess, joining a

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Speaker 1: language class, doing different things to be a part of

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Speaker 1: an environment that allows for those specific ingredients, and boldly

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Speaker 1: stepping into the life we desire and not just the

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Speaker 1: one that others desire for us. The most common thing

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Speaker 1: that comes up when I hear people say they're not

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Speaker 1: where they thought they would be is the idea of

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Speaker 1: being partnered or married, having a baby, and an awesome career,

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Speaker 1: all by the age of five. Do you know how

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Speaker 1: many of us were an absolute mess at age five?

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Speaker 1: When I think back to my younger self, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to have all of this by the age of twenty three,

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Speaker 1: I guess I wasn't overachiever with my fantasies. Our goal

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Speaker 1: is to chip away at the stigma related to mental

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Speaker 1: illness and to bring psychology to life with the help

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Speaker 1: of some of our faith from pop culture. Do you

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Speaker 1: think it was I missed my friend, I would like

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Speaker 1: for us to get back together. Or do you think

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Speaker 1: it was, Oh, there are all these things I want

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Speaker 1: to talk through in Molly is the only one I

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Speaker 1: can talk to. So more coming from a selfish please. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I think it may have been a combination, because you know,

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Speaker 1: Molly is her oldest standing friend who also knows a

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Speaker 1: lot of what went on with her and Lawrence that

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Speaker 1: first time around, right, So there is that piece, and

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Speaker 1: I think that may have brought back a certain level

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Speaker 1: of nostalgia of missing being able to just sort of

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Speaker 1: hang out with her, talk to her, be in space

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Speaker 1: and being community with her. I think that she did

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Speaker 1: miss Molly because even though all this stuff has been happening,

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Speaker 1: she did not bring it up. Joined the conversation every

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Speaker 1: Wednesday morning, and be sure to share with your girls

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Speaker 1: because you'll definitely want to talk about it later in

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Speaker 1: the group chat. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Take it here