Speaker 1: I won't let my body out outweigh everything that I'm
Speaker 1: made do, won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
Speaker 1: learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. And then will always out with if you
Speaker 1: feel it with your hands in the air, She'll some
Speaker 1: love to the boom. There. Let's say good day and
Speaker 1: time did you and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy
Speaker 1: here and my guest today is Lorley Bryant, who is
Speaker 1: a holistic health and heartache consultant coach. How do you like?
Speaker 1: What did you say that? Contay consultant? And you were
Speaker 1: on four Things this week my four Things podcast on Thursday,
Speaker 1: and we were talking about helping people heal from heart
Speaker 1: ache and grief, whether it's through a breakup or a divorce,
Speaker 1: or the loss of a loved one or job, even
Speaker 1: something that you held tightly that suddenly is no longer
Speaker 1: with you is very difficult. And I think sometimes when
Speaker 1: we're in a process of grieving or heartache, we have
Speaker 1: different cravings and we can end up trying to get
Speaker 1: frustrated at those or pick those apart, or feeling defeated
Speaker 1: if we quote unquote given to a craving and outweighs
Speaker 1: is about just bringing comfort to people that might be
Speaker 1: experiencing any thoughts like that. I don't assume everybody listening
Speaker 1: right now is grieving, but you might be one day,
Speaker 1: And this is information you could keep in your back pocket,
Speaker 1: so that way, if something comes up and you do
Speaker 1: have these thoughts, with these cravings, you can have this
Speaker 1: as a tool or a resource to refer to. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and thank you for having me. Yeah. It's interesting because
Speaker 1: even if it's not grief, you know, stress or overwhelmed
Speaker 1: can have a similar physiological response on our taste buds
Speaker 1: and our appetite and digestion and all of that. And
Speaker 1: I think we have this connotation that all cravings are bad.
Speaker 1: But first, I think it's important to really normalize cravings
Speaker 1: any time. Cravings are totally normal, and they're also especially
Speaker 1: normal when you are in a difficult season of life.
Speaker 1: So don't beat yourself up for having them, don't beat
Speaker 1: yourself up for any decisions that you have been making.
Speaker 1: You're doing your best. I am sure you're doing your best.
Speaker 1: And with that said, we can take what feels like
Speaker 1: a very out of control craving experience and really kind
Speaker 1: of get control of it by understanding what is happening
Speaker 1: with our cravings and the different kinds of cravings, and
Speaker 1: then just consciously choosing what we want to do about it.
Speaker 1: You know, I guess I should say sometimes you just
Speaker 1: have to go for the craving itself, and that's okay,
Speaker 1: but you want it ideally to be something you are
Speaker 1: choosing for yourself, because that's empowering versus feeling like the
Speaker 1: craving quote got the best of you. So well, that's
Speaker 1: what leads to the spiral of then it's and it's
Speaker 1: just this merry go round, right, you go in and
Speaker 1: then you're you feel lost in it. But I I agree,
Speaker 1: it's so empowering when you get to choose and you
Speaker 1: get to almost feel proud, Yes I ate that, Yes,
Speaker 1: and I feel great value or you can recognize, oh,
Speaker 1: yes I ate that, and like I'm not feeling so great.
Speaker 1: So then who you learned some information? It's true and
Speaker 1: also it is also true that well to some extent,
Speaker 1: especially if you have you know, let's say you are
Speaker 1: insulin sensitive or you have an allergy or something. There
Speaker 1: are certain foods that are probably not going to make
Speaker 1: you feel great. You might have a blood sugar crash
Speaker 1: and spike and crash um or might hurt your stomach.
Speaker 1: But it is also worth noticing if you have let's
Speaker 1: say one day you have the doughnut and then you
Speaker 1: beat yourself up about it, how do physically feel versus
Speaker 1: having the doughnut and being like that donut was awesome.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed it and I'm going to go about my day.
Speaker 1: How do you physically feel? And I tend to find
Speaker 1: and there's research for this that you actually can physiologically
Speaker 1: have a have a different response when you are just
Speaker 1: enjoying it and allow your allowing yourself to be freaking
Speaker 1: human like, it's part of the human experience, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: cravings are largely how we are wired, wired for survival
Speaker 1: to get things like sugar and fat really quickly into
Speaker 1: our bodies. So so craving does not make you bad. No,
Speaker 1: you said normalized cravings. Yeah, there's no moral assignment with food, guys,
Speaker 1: Like ever, it's not a thing like there and there's
Speaker 1: no wagon, there's no on the wagon, off the wagon,
Speaker 1: Like we give food way too much power when we
Speaker 1: when we kind of anthropomorphosized food and turn it into
Speaker 1: this person that can do things to us and has qualities.
Speaker 1: It's just food, and sometimes the most nourishing thing, like
Speaker 1: I said, is to just have the donut. So going
Speaker 1: back to initially, when we are under stress, overwhelmed, grief,
Speaker 1: there are lots of different ways that we can have craving.
Speaker 1: Some people tend to have more salt cravings, but I
Speaker 1: would say the most common that people find is going
Speaker 1: to be a combination of sugar and fat. It's probably
Speaker 1: going to be the primary craving, you know, for things
Speaker 1: like ice cream or just fast acting carbs essentially you know,
Speaker 1: easily broken down simple carbohydrates and sugars. And that is
Speaker 1: for a lot of different reasons. That can be because
Speaker 1: you are going through major, major stress and so your
Speaker 1: body is looking for sources of energy. Maybe you're not
Speaker 1: sleeping as well, you're in fight or flights. You actually
Speaker 1: need more energy, don't. Your body thinks it needs more
Speaker 1: energy going to your blood and to your muscles to
Speaker 1: prime you for this this difficult experience which is actually
Speaker 1: happening internally, but our body is kind of respond to
Speaker 1: it like we are about to go into a ring
Speaker 1: and fight. So it's totally normal that you have these
Speaker 1: cravings for sugar because your your body is looking for
Speaker 1: that energy. Plus all of these stress hormones that are
Speaker 1: coursing through your body, like adrenaline and cortisol. So first
Speaker 1: of all, it's worth taking notes. Sometimes we don't know
Speaker 1: that we're stressed until we notice what we're doing, the
Speaker 1: decisions that we're making. So you may not even know
Speaker 1: that you're stressed and overwhelmed, but all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you're sugar craving through through the roof, and then maybe
Speaker 1: it's time to look and see is there a sort
Speaker 1: of stress that I'm not even aware of. But again,
Speaker 1: there's no judgment, there's no good, bad, or right or wrong.
Speaker 1: It's just what serves you. So first, just understanding that
Speaker 1: it's normal. It's natural for your cravings to ebb and flow.
Speaker 1: It's normal to have them, it's normal to be obsessing
Speaker 1: over them and thinking about them. I mean, one of
Speaker 1: the other reasons when we're grieving that we have these
Speaker 1: cravings for these hyper palatable foods, so you know, foods
Speaker 1: that contain sodium, msg sugar, fat, all of that, these
Speaker 1: hyper palatable foods is because it's a coping and numbing device. Again,
Speaker 1: totally normal. You're not doing anything wrong. This is part
Speaker 1: of the human experience of grieving, is that we we
Speaker 1: look for ways to cope and numb and food that
Speaker 1: has a quick reaction in our bodies, that that gives
Speaker 1: us that hit of dope, but mean really quickly. Of
Speaker 1: course you want that. Of course you do. You know,
Speaker 1: like we all do. It's okay you you haven't. You
Speaker 1: haven't made a mistake because you are biologically wired to
Speaker 1: want to self soothe, and that's a really easy way
Speaker 1: and a quick way to self soothe. Now, ultimately, if
Speaker 1: we do that more than we put some nourishing foods
Speaker 1: in our bodies, it's not going to help our healing
Speaker 1: process long term. But I think the most important thing
Speaker 1: is to understand that there are different types of cravings.
Speaker 1: Ask yourself what type of craving this is, and then
Speaker 1: again just consciously choose. That helps with such self awareness,
Speaker 1: and I think awareness is so key, and it can
Speaker 1: be the first step to unlocking so many things and
Speaker 1: giving yourself that permission that it is okay that I'm
Speaker 1: feeling this, it is okay that I am craving this,
Speaker 1: and on Thursday's episode over on four things we we
Speaker 1: talked about, You know, if you have lots of appetite,
Speaker 1: So y'all can go back and listen to that episode
Speaker 1: UM with Loreleie if you want to hear what's going
Speaker 1: on with that and how I thought it was fascinating
Speaker 1: in that episode when you shared that your body has
Speaker 1: so many other things going on that it's worried about
Speaker 1: that like it, you might not be hungry because it
Speaker 1: doesn't really have time to digest anything. It's busy. You
Speaker 1: have other heartache and other things that it's tending to.
Speaker 1: So everybody's body responds in such a different way. So
Speaker 1: I think another thing too, when you're going through something
Speaker 1: difficult and you're also navigating a potential eating disorder or
Speaker 1: body image issues, is you may look at how other
Speaker 1: people handled it. Oh, well, when that person was grieving,
Speaker 1: they lost weight or when that person so therefore, why
Speaker 1: am I maybe not doing that? Or you start to
Speaker 1: look how other people's bodies handled grief, and I just
Speaker 1: want to remind you that everybody's body is totally different
Speaker 1: and you cannot look at how someone else responded to
Speaker 1: grieving and food and exercise and all the things and
Speaker 1: think that that is going to be exactly what your
Speaker 1: body needs. One of the difficulties if you, especially as
Speaker 1: a woman, if you've ever had a history of eating
Speaker 1: disordered disordered eating, is that when you lose your appetite
Speaker 1: for a while and then you lose weight, a lot
Speaker 1: of people women in particular, have resistance to gaining that
Speaker 1: weight back because then you go into sort of revenge
Speaker 1: body culture. Um. But remembering that that's not sustainable and
Speaker 1: that's that was a that was a stress and a
Speaker 1: grief response for them, and then you know they have
Speaker 1: to mentally navigate getting back to a healthy weight and
Speaker 1: that's not a fun process to go through either, you know.
Speaker 1: So asking yourself like one, seeing that everyone's journey is
Speaker 1: different and realizing that as much as you can try
Speaker 1: to nourish yourself from the beginning so that you're not
Speaker 1: ping ponging is actually can be a blessing. Huge like
Speaker 1: this is a tool to have that you can know
Speaker 1: if you if you can understand it. That's why I
Speaker 1: said the aware this is so key. If you can
Speaker 1: understand at least this piece, that helps navigating all the
Speaker 1: other pieces. If you're numbing, then you're not feeling what's
Speaker 1: really happening, and then it's just gonna take the whole process.
Speaker 1: It's going to take you longer. And I've been there.
Speaker 1: I speak from experience. There is no judgment when I
Speaker 1: say this, Like it's taken me years and years and
Speaker 1: years to heal from certain things because of all the
Speaker 1: numbing that I did with food and purging and exercise,
Speaker 1: like all the different things to distract myself. And so
Speaker 1: if that is you, this is your journey and you
Speaker 1: will figure it out in the right time. And maybe
Speaker 1: this is a conversation that you needed to hear to
Speaker 1: just like kind of have that lightbulb go off. But
Speaker 1: ultimately it's going to take you putting in the work.
Speaker 1: But awareness is first. And I know the initial conversation
Speaker 1: was about normalizing cravings, but also you know, normalized feeling
Speaker 1: just super confused, right, Yeah, it's okay. I just the
Speaker 1: you know, some days maybe needing to to go just
Speaker 1: let out a good scream, because if you are experiencing
Speaker 1: grief on top of any type of eating disorder or
Speaker 1: body image issue, it's just so exhausting because your brain
Speaker 1: is already so occupied with so many other things and
Speaker 1: you don't have the space for it. But the quicker
Speaker 1: you can try to find the resources and help and
Speaker 1: the right team. If you have access to that, then
Speaker 1: you know the better off that you're going to be,
Speaker 1: and that taking care of your body and nourishing it
Speaker 1: will get you to the healing point faster. But again,
Speaker 1: faster is relative. Just because someone else healed in this
Speaker 1: amount of time doesn't mean that you have to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And because grief is so nonlinear again, it's like we
Speaker 1: can't compare to other people's journeys because things may resurface
Speaker 1: for them in years, you know. And so just because
Speaker 1: it looks like someone is doing well, I mean, we
Speaker 1: hope that they are, but we can't compare because that's
Speaker 1: not fair to you because you don't know what their
Speaker 1: long term trajectory is. And I think your point about
Speaker 1: crying is really important. One of the things I absolutely
Speaker 1: insist is that as much as you can, let the
Speaker 1: tears come when they want to, I know, something realistic.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes it's not realistic, but but when you can. Mean.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons I organized my my research according
Speaker 1: to the stages of grief is because sometimes what we
Speaker 1: really need when we're in the anger phase anger stage
Speaker 1: is to scream and cry and punch pillows. They're a
Speaker 1: rage room type of things. There's like one in opery
Speaker 1: Land where you can go and break stuff, and I didn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've heard of them across the country, but
Speaker 1: I don't know operate. I actually haven't been, but I've
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to. I don't think it ice cubes
Speaker 1: and thrown them on the concrete outside. That's perfect. That's
Speaker 1: a thing to do. My therapist told me, or maybe
Speaker 1: one of my kids. Therapist said to do it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, for them, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it. I've had a therapist recommend
Speaker 1: safely burning things, you know, I mean memorabilia obviously safe safely, safely,
Speaker 1: safely recommended by therapist outside safely. But all of these
Speaker 1: things do say if you But yeah, sometimes we really
Speaker 1: need to get that out. And so the food, we
Speaker 1: we can just without judgment, non judgmentally, notice how we
Speaker 1: are being with food and ask ourselves, is there something
Speaker 1: that I'm not getting out of my system and it's
Speaker 1: showing up in these craving So other ways, you know,
Speaker 1: finding other ways to express that emotion is really really powerful.
Speaker 1: Art is a great way to do that. If you're
Speaker 1: someone who likes art, that can be amazing. Time and nature,
Speaker 1: which we've talked about, gentle forms of exercise and movement,
Speaker 1: something that's very healing for my sister, which might not
Speaker 1: be ideal for people if you've got a lot going
Speaker 1: on around food, but if you're listening in your and
Speaker 1: more of recovery, or you're trying to play around with
Speaker 1: different foods and feel safe with certain foods, is cooking
Speaker 1: and how therapeutic that can be. My sister always talks
Speaker 1: about cooking is just a therapeutic for me, and that's
Speaker 1: just not been my thing. That's really not my route,
Speaker 1: and maybe it's because of my relationship with food. But
Speaker 1: I have to say I made a soup the other
Speaker 1: day from scratch, and it was very healing and therapeutic,
Speaker 1: and so I thought the whole time is making it
Speaker 1: was like my sister's right. I mean, I was shredding
Speaker 1: the chicken and blending bablano peppers and a jalapeno and
Speaker 1: suted onion. And my kids don't I think the recipe
Speaker 1: called for everything to be chunky, but my kids, I
Speaker 1: knew that they would freak out at the chunks of
Speaker 1: the peppers and stuff. So I just blended it all
Speaker 1: so that way, I for sure had the same flavor.
Speaker 1: I didn't blend the chicken that was chunky, and don't worry. Well,
Speaker 1: I've followed some accounts before they recommended that, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, and yes, I've I have blended meat
Speaker 1: in my very disordered days, mainly for digestion, but also
Speaker 1: I didn't my body didn't have an issue digesting meat.
Speaker 1: But I saw someone else doing that, so I thought
Speaker 1: I needed to do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's why it's not good to do whatever, like compare
Speaker 1: yourself to what other people are doing, because you may
Speaker 1: have different needs. So and then you're eating blended meat
Speaker 1: and you're like why So anyway, the soup I found
Speaker 1: it to be very healing, which I know something you're
Speaker 1: doing too is part of You're consulting and you've done
Speaker 1: cooking classes a ton in the past being a holistic chef.
Speaker 1: But do you have some new cooking classes or something
Speaker 1: coming up? Yes? Totally. Actually had someone today on like
Speaker 1: a Q and A say, how do I fall in
Speaker 1: love with cooking again? And I think it's important to
Speaker 1: just know that, like not everyone has to like cooking
Speaker 1: and you know has to cook. I mean it's a
Speaker 1: great way to save money. But I normalize normally is
Speaker 1: not being like, yeah, you can be in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: especially if you're a woman. Totally it's totally fine. But
Speaker 1: with that said, it can be really therapeutic and it
Speaker 1: can be really knowledgeable. It can offer a lot of
Speaker 1: knowledge about your body, about what works best for your
Speaker 1: lifestyle and your family. So I have launched a series
Speaker 1: of cooking classes called Cooking for Heartache here in Nashville,
Speaker 1: and the first portion of the class will be talking
Speaker 1: about how you can take care of yourself inside and
Speaker 1: out no matter what season you're going through. And then
Speaker 1: I am going to make six recipes from my upcoming
Speaker 1: cookbook which is called Recipes for an Aching Heart, and
Speaker 1: just gonna nourish people and feed them in a really
Speaker 1: safe environment and they can connect with each other and
Speaker 1: ask questions. And when you register for the class, you
Speaker 1: get those recipes. So yeah, if anyone's looking for just
Speaker 1: a healthy way, really safe way to spend time, if
Speaker 1: you're going through something difficult, um, you can definitely you know,
Speaker 1: learn about the classes. Would love to spend time with
Speaker 1: you well, and people can find all the details. I'll
Speaker 1: link everything in the show notes, but lll balanced dot
Speaker 1: com is Lordly's website, and then your Instagram handle is
Speaker 1: Lordly Balanced, which the lee is l E. A ye,
Speaker 1: thank you. I feel like sometimes people might search l E.
Speaker 1: But again I'll link it in the show notes. So Lordly,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming on Four Things on Thursday and
Speaker 1: then also recording Outweigh with me because I feel like
Speaker 1: food grief, how we handle grief and heartache, it's also
Speaker 1: tied together, especially and I know you. You were a
Speaker 1: part of Outweigh when it first launched. It wasn't even
Speaker 1: its own podcast, it was just a four part series
Speaker 1: that I was doing on Four Things, and you were
Speaker 1: kind enough to share your personal journey with food and
Speaker 1: body image stuff. So you're one of the people that
Speaker 1: was a part of Outweigh when it was just a
Speaker 1: little baby and we didn't know what was going to
Speaker 1: happen with it. So thank you for coming back on.
Speaker 1: You're welcome, Thanks for having me. All right. I hope
Speaker 1: you all have in the day you need to have
Speaker 1: By