Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. I'm the pastor of Elevation
Speaker 1: Church and this is our podcast. I wanted to thank
Speaker 1: you for joining us today. Hope this inspires you. Hope
Speaker 1: it builds your faith. Hope it gives your perspective to
Speaker 1: see God has moving in your life. Enjoy the message.
Speaker 1: The premise of Do the New You is that the
Speaker 1: main thing that God changes through anything we go through
Speaker 1: is us. And if you have believed the lie that
Speaker 1: the you you have met so far is all there
Speaker 1: is to you, I think we want to come to
Speaker 1: you with an announcement. You haven't really met you yet.
Speaker 1: The two things we just said, if you put them together,
Speaker 1: will change your life. Because I said that the you
Speaker 1: that God sees is history to him, and then Brendan said,
Speaker 1: but it's a mystery to me. I haven't met that
Speaker 1: version of myself yet, but God has. And I love
Speaker 1: it because it's exactly what I'm trying to say. It's
Speaker 1: history to him. He's already seen it. He's not waiting
Speaker 1: for me to become someone he could love. I used
Speaker 1: to feel like that. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: who believe in Jesus feel like there is a version
Speaker 1: of you that is patient, kind and loving, and God
Speaker 1: will really like hanging out with that guy, and he
Speaker 1: could really use that person. When you become that, then
Speaker 1: God can use you. That's not how God sees it.
Speaker 1: It's history to him. He's already seen it. It's just
Speaker 1: coming forth in your life. So what's a mystery to
Speaker 1: me is history to him. And apart from just rhyming
Speaker 1: like it gives me a new tool for what I
Speaker 1: want to become in my life. It's not just let
Speaker 1: me grind to get there and then I'll be worthy
Speaker 1: of love. One of our favorite authors, Richard Rohor, says
Speaker 1: that most of us were taught that basically God's love
Speaker 1: was ward for when we change, that God will love
Speaker 1: us more when we But actually, he says, God's love
Speaker 1: is the resource by which we change. Oh I love that.
Speaker 1: So it's not something that we're changing for so that
Speaker 1: God will love and accept us more. Is something that
Speaker 1: we're changed by. It is the resource. I love that.
Speaker 2: I think that is a big part of my Christian
Speaker 2: faith and discovery was Oh I don't I don't have
Speaker 2: to go earn his love like I was already saved
Speaker 2: by grace, Like this idea that you that acceptance already happened, right,
Speaker 2: that the sacrifice and Jesus experience opened up the grace
Speaker 2: that allows me to live through that love. I have
Speaker 2: to earn it and then have it and then enjoy it.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, it's here, it's available, it's been granted.
Speaker 2: I'm accepted already, and I can act through that. And
Speaker 2: that's hard for people because we don't like our so often.
Speaker 2: So you say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God likes me.
Speaker 1: Sure, it's pretty sure.
Speaker 2: But when you really step into that and you realize
Speaker 2: you're already accepted, and now you act through acceptance versus
Speaker 2: acting through earning, you're a different power.
Speaker 1: You're in a different place.
Speaker 2: Right when I walk on stage, if I'm acting through acceptance,
Speaker 2: there's a personal power. There's an authenticity, there's a versus
Speaker 2: a connection. There's different If I think I got to
Speaker 2: go get the roar, I'm scrambling the whole stage.
Speaker 1: I'm scrambling for the roar. I'm scrambling for the rawer
Speaker 1: the acceptance.
Speaker 2: Right, you're doing things to be accepted, to get the praise,
Speaker 2: to get the honor. And then the fact is when
Speaker 2: you do get the praise, when you do get the honor.
Speaker 2: When you do get the roar, you feel empty because
Speaker 2: you weren't acting through acceptance. You are scrambling to get it.
Speaker 1: That's it, man. It's really about whether you are chasing
Speaker 1: an acceptance that you think will be given to you
Speaker 1: as a prize that's the treadmill, or whether you're coming
Speaker 1: from a place of acceptance knowing that well, since I'm
Speaker 1: already accepted, since I've already been given this, I actually
Speaker 1: want to live more into that. Because you talk about
Speaker 1: summoning yourself. And one thing about Christians, sometimes if something
Speaker 1: sounds a little bit technical to us, it just blows
Speaker 1: our mind, like summoning. Is this a seance? Am I
Speaker 1: calling up the glos? Think about that? But I love
Speaker 1: it because it helps me to understand that every day
Speaker 1: I wake up. And this is one of my favorite
Speaker 1: parts that I wrote in the book. I'm deciding a
Speaker 1: bunch of things. You know, am I gonna wear this
Speaker 1: black T shirt or that black T shirt? You know,
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be black T shirt? But which one
Speaker 1: am I gonna? Am I gonna do three sets of
Speaker 1: this or four sets of this or no sets of this?
Speaker 1: In my workout? You know, whatever, whatever, But the biggest
Speaker 1: decision is which me will I be? And I think
Speaker 1: that can sound schizophrenic to people, like, what do you mean,
Speaker 1: which me will I be? I'm deciding that right now,
Speaker 1: I decided that an hour ago. I will decide it
Speaker 1: again when I see my kids tonight, and we decide
Speaker 1: that over and over again. And maybe this would be
Speaker 1: a good place for us to get into the idea
Speaker 1: of summoning the self that God sees into the first
Speaker 1: mindset in the book, which is I'm not stuck unless
Speaker 1: I stop. Yes. And I'm going to give you these
Speaker 1: mindsets and Brendan's gonna help me unpack them over the
Speaker 1: next few episodes of this masterclass. But I want you
Speaker 1: to write the first one down, even if you don't
Speaker 1: believe it. Okay, you don't have to believe this. Just
Speaker 1: get it down and then let's argue about it. Okay,
Speaker 1: write in the comments I'm not stuck and just put
Speaker 1: that in the comment, even though you're like, I am stuck.
Speaker 1: I'm literally stuck. I'm totally stuck. I'm something else that
Speaker 1: rhymes would stuck, but I can't say it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: I'm really really stuck. Okay, that is a challenge paradigm
Speaker 1: for people, because if you look in the Bible, Paul
Speaker 1: and Silas seems stuck in prison, but they praised God
Speaker 1: in the chains broke loose. You know, Gideon seems stuck
Speaker 1: in a wine press, but God spoken, he became a deliverer.
Speaker 1: Moses seems stuck as a murderer, running as a fugitive
Speaker 1: on the back side of the desert, and then this
Speaker 1: burning bush, and God had forty more years of amazing
Speaker 1: things for him to do. And all of these people
Speaker 1: felt stuck. So I want you to tell me what
Speaker 1: were your reflections on this first mindset? I'm not stuck
Speaker 1: unless I stop. Do you agree with it? How do
Speaker 1: you see it? How do we summon our way through that?
Speaker 1: And let's really dig into this first mindset. I love it.
Speaker 2: I love every section of this chapter because it reminds
Speaker 2: you that everyone feels stuck. I think one of the
Speaker 2: things you did great in the book is that people
Speaker 2: see themselves in it constantly. Go I do feel stuck
Speaker 2: sometimes in my relationship, I feel stuck in my head,
Speaker 2: I feel stuck in my career. What am I gonna
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? And a lot of people,
Speaker 2: they feel like that stuck is permanent mm hm, Like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm working hard, but I'm stuck. So there's not lack
Speaker 2: of action for them. They're like, I'm going to work,
Speaker 2: but I feel stuck. Uh, you know, I'm working hard,
Speaker 2: but I'm not earning more. I feel stuck. And what
Speaker 2: ends up happening is the more you feel stuck, the
Speaker 2: more you spin in doubt.
Speaker 1: Wow. And so when you're stuck, you spin. Write that down.
Speaker 1: When you're stuck, you spin. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And people always mistake the signal for doubt as a
Speaker 2: signal to stop. But doubt is not a Doubt is
Speaker 2: not saying stop. Doubt is a signal to learn. And
Speaker 2: when you change that frame in your mind, everything changes
Speaker 2: in your life. I'm so doubtful. Doubt doesn't say well
Speaker 2: stop and don't learn anymore. Doubt is literally I don't know.
Speaker 2: So the only way to actually figure it out is
Speaker 2: in motion try test. Like doubt is the entrance to
Speaker 2: the scientific process, Doubt is the entrance to faith.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And so when you realize that, like, oh, I'm having
Speaker 2: all these doubts about this thing, the next thought should be, well,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to discover the answer.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to discover the truth.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to test this hypothesis.
Speaker 1: Well, let's break your flow if I ask you something
Speaker 1: about that. No, I love it. Yeah, every religious person
Speaker 1: in the world is pulling up James one right now going.
Speaker 1: But the bubble says, let he who have faith asking
Speaker 1: not doubt, For he ask it, then faith shall not
Speaker 1: receive anything from the Lord. He is a double minded man,
Speaker 1: unstable and all he does. And I always thought that
Speaker 1: verse meant not, you know, don't have doubts or don't
Speaker 1: feel doubts. I thought it just meant go through the
Speaker 1: door of your doubt to get to the other side
Speaker 1: and find your faith.
Speaker 2: Right right, Well, I think a lot of themes of
Speaker 2: the Bible are do not be afraid, or as you
Speaker 2: taught me, be strong and courageous. That presupposes some doubt.
Speaker 2: Most of the Bible presupposes.
Speaker 1: We have doubts. Yeah, he says, be strong. I must
Speaker 1: feel weak because I wouldn't tell you to sit down
Speaker 1: you already are. Yeah.
Speaker 2: He didn't start the story. Gideon doesn't start the story,
Speaker 2: as you know. He starts in the wine press yah, Yeah,
Speaker 2: David doesn't start the story with the sling.
Speaker 1: I mean, so you have to go. Oh.
Speaker 2: Each of these stories starts in a place, often of
Speaker 2: doubt or discouragement, despair, division between people. We have to
Speaker 2: cycle through that. But the thing is, I always say, well,
Speaker 2: that's why there's another verse, that's why there's another chapter,
Speaker 2: it's why there's something more. It's like it might the
Speaker 2: story might begin in doubt, but the story doesn't stop there,
Speaker 2: and we have to remember that in our own lives.
Speaker 2: And so what I loved about this first chapter where
Speaker 2: we're saying I'm not stuck unless I stop, is you
Speaker 2: unlock a lot of reasons that people should not stop
Speaker 2: and realize that they can change. I love how you
Speaker 2: talk about you know, you can defy your default. That
Speaker 2: maybe your default was to stop or to do these bad,
Speaker 2: negative behaviors, but you can work your way through them.
Speaker 2: You can change, you can shift. And I think that's
Speaker 2: a hopeful message for a lot of people because they
Speaker 2: really do believe that they're stuck, and stuck is a
Speaker 2: place of permanence.
Speaker 1: When what your book is teaching stuck was.
Speaker 2: A mindset, and you can change your mind, so you
Speaker 2: can change your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, when you say stuck, you're probably thinking
Speaker 1: of all the people that you've coached who basically thought
Speaker 1: they had gone as far as they could go, you know,
Speaker 1: whether that's in their business or whether they had wrecked
Speaker 1: their personal life building their business. And part of what
Speaker 1: you do is to walk into somebody who goes, and
Speaker 1: I've heard you say this phrase before. I love it.
Speaker 1: You go, I've tried everything, right right, yeah, and you go, oh, yeah, everything, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've tried everything, and then walk through it because you
Speaker 1: have an exercise you make people do that I love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I tried everything. Awesome.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited and I get really encouraged for them.
Speaker 2: And I say, well, if you tried everything, show me
Speaker 2: the list.
Speaker 1: And they go, what do you mean? I said, well,
Speaker 1: show me the list. You tried everything.
Speaker 2: I mean, if you tried everything, then you must have
Speaker 2: kept a list, really detailed of all the things you tried,
Speaker 2: because of course you'd have to know what's mutually exclusive.
Speaker 2: You'd have to know what you tried and didn't work,
Speaker 2: and you have to adjust and do an over and against.
Speaker 2: So show me the list, and most often people go, well,
Speaker 2: you know, I've tried once or twice, and I tried
Speaker 2: the same Well, I asked my boss for a raise
Speaker 2: on Monday, ask I weing on Friday, ask them the
Speaker 2: same way every time, all the time. But I've been asking.
Speaker 2: So you've been asking, okay, but you haven't an add
Speaker 2: new value. So so you tried one strategy and you
Speaker 2: hit it fifty times and you didn't adjust it from
Speaker 2: another way. You haven't tried everything. You tried what you knew.
Speaker 2: You need to get perspective or approach it in a
Speaker 2: different way. And I think often too people when they
Speaker 2: think of stuck, they think of just negative things. I'm
Speaker 2: stuck in a bad marriage. A lot of people are
Speaker 2: stuck in a very happy marriage. And what I mean
Speaker 2: by that is they don't need to leave the marriage.
Speaker 2: They have to learn to be different, try a new
Speaker 2: angle to find the happiness, the fulfillment, or the intimacy
Speaker 2: in the marriage. So what I mean by that is
Speaker 2: sometimes people they're stuck is really they're just at a plateau.
Speaker 2: They're actually successful, they're actually doing well. Things are good,
Speaker 2: and a lot of high performances are going, oh you
Speaker 2: you're doing well. You're actually high performing. But there's this
Speaker 2: next level for you, And I think that I actually
Speaker 2: got that out of the book as much as I
Speaker 2: gotten out of Oh I'm in despair, I'm troubled, things
Speaker 2: are bad. What I also took from the book was
Speaker 2: things are going well, but there's a new level for
Speaker 2: me when I'm in a more in a greater connection
Speaker 2: to my faith. Speaking about plateaus, you have this great
Speaker 2: statement in the book, don't argue for your limitations.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of people they are stuck,
Speaker 2: but they're stuck in their own limitation.
Speaker 1: I heard a motivational speaker say at one time. He said,
Speaker 1: if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Speaker 1: And that convicted me because I realized how many times
Speaker 1: i'd do it. And I don't know if I'm arguing
Speaker 1: with God like Moses did God, I can't speak, you know,
Speaker 1: send somebody else. I don't feel like I'm arguing with God.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just arguing against myself. And I
Speaker 1: realized what I'm actually agreeing with in that moment is
Speaker 1: the enemy's view of me. And I don't mean limitation. Hey,
Speaker 1: you've I ever picked up a basketball, but you can
Speaker 1: play in the NBA and you're fifty four years old.
Speaker 1: That's not a kind of limitation I have in mind.
Speaker 1: I mean the kind of limitation that is rooted in
Speaker 1: a lie where you know God is calling you to
Speaker 1: be this kind of person and to make this kind
Speaker 1: of impact, or you sense that he's giving you a
Speaker 1: glimpse and giving you a step to take, and then
Speaker 1: you start building the case against yourself and gathering evidence
Speaker 1: for why there's a deficiency in you. And so the
Speaker 1: quote just blew my mind. If you argue for your limitations,
Speaker 1: you get to keep them. You live small, you stay
Speaker 1: in that space, you actually begin to fulfill that prophecy,
Speaker 1: not the prophecy of God over your life, but your
Speaker 1: own prophecy. You start to fulfill the enemy's prophecy over
Speaker 1: your life that you'll never be this And your dad
Speaker 1: wasn't that. So what I did. I took that quote
Speaker 1: and in the book I take it a little further.
Speaker 1: I say, if you argue for your limitations, you get
Speaker 1: to keep them, But if you agree with God about
Speaker 1: your potential, you get to grow into it. Oh that's good,
Speaker 1: grow into it. That's good. You know, that's a whole sermon.
Speaker 1: Put it in the check grow into it, because growing
Speaker 1: into it means no, I'm not it right now, like
Speaker 1: anymore than i was five nine when I was five,
Speaker 1: But I get to grow into it. And I think
Speaker 1: that first step of agreeing with God about your potential
Speaker 1: is to go, God, you know what's in me. I don't.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm very wary of just the know
Speaker 1: thyself philosophy. Right Like, know thyself is great, but how
Speaker 1: about part two, grow thyself? Yes, yeah, because that's the
Speaker 1: outgrow of reflection and awareness and self acceptance, is that
Speaker 1: I'm going to grow into who God knows me to be.
Speaker 1: That's the message of the book. I was writing this
Speaker 1: book to myself in places, going do the new you,
Speaker 1: the you that you don't know yet, but that God
Speaker 1: already does, the one that he chose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and have faith in yourself as equally as maybe
Speaker 2: he has faith in you, which is a hard thing
Speaker 2: to grow into. Well, think about this. You're growing in
Speaker 2: the faith of yourself, which is very hard.
Speaker 1: Of yourself because people will say, don't believe in yourself,
Speaker 1: believe in God. Here's the problem I have with that
Speaker 1: who made you? If God made me and I don't
Speaker 1: believe in me, what he called me to be, then
Speaker 1: it's him I doubt, and that really helps me to
Speaker 1: get past this sticking point where I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to hide myself up and say
Speaker 1: that you know I can do great things. Well, I
Speaker 1: can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I think the two go hand in hand. That's
Speaker 1: why I was passionate to get this masterclass, going to
Speaker 1: get people out of and to get you out of
Speaker 1: this mindset that says, well, God is great, but I'm
Speaker 1: no good. Okay, Yeah, we're all sinners, we all need Jesus,
Speaker 1: we all need forgiveness, but we've been redeemed by him.
Speaker 1: So what does that speak of us? That He paid
Speaker 1: that price for us? And that's the limitation that I
Speaker 1: want you to grow beyond this view of you that
Speaker 1: only sees you as flesh and bones and mistakes and disappointments,
Speaker 1: and to grow into the image of God that you
Speaker 1: were originally created to be. So good.
Speaker 2: I thought of when I was reading it, the angle
Speaker 2: you took on don't argue for your limitations, which was
Speaker 2: also you were saying, be careful about justifying all your
Speaker 2: vulnerabilities and your challenges and what's wrong with you, because
Speaker 2: it's easy to go, well, you know, I'm not a
Speaker 2: good communicator because and soon you say, because you enter
Speaker 2: the world of either blame or self comfort to say,
Speaker 2: I'm not good communicator because my parents were mean to me.
Speaker 2: And so I was telling you about listen on limitations.
Speaker 2: Always listen for the word because wow, I'm like this,
Speaker 2: because and you'll often add a negative thing.
Speaker 1: My parents were like this. They didn't believe in me.
Speaker 2: She mistreated me, they cheated, they stole, or we're doing
Speaker 2: it for our own comfort because we don't belie we
Speaker 2: have empathy from the world. So sometimes when we share
Speaker 2: our limitations and our vulnerabilities with people, what we're doing
Speaker 2: is we're reaching out. We're saying, hey, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: you know, let me just be vulnerable with you real quick.
Speaker 1: What could you please see me? Can you recognize me?
Speaker 2: Because I'm not feeling like I like myself, or I'm
Speaker 2: not feeling good seen heard, or I don't feel like
Speaker 2: the world is fair. So let me tell you this
Speaker 2: thing that's unfair for me. Could you see it and
Speaker 2: acknowledge it and say to me, oh, yeah, that is unfair,
Speaker 2: or oh I understand now why you are like that,
Speaker 2: and the whole conversation suddenly does something funny. It justifies
Speaker 2: and sets concrete around the limitation. Well, suddenly we have
Speaker 2: verbalized the reason, because we've verbalized the reason for the limitation,
Speaker 2: and now we coalesce around it, and we actually just
Speaker 2: made it stronger. And so empathy can be like that,
Speaker 2: which we don't talk about in the modern world. Sometimes
Speaker 2: overly placating to people's you know, vulnerability or limitations and
Speaker 2: staying on it and stewing on it all day doesn't
Speaker 2: actually move them through. It's often the difference in my
Speaker 2: career of as we'll share the difference sometimes between the
Speaker 2: therapist and a coach. Both absolutely necessary and I'm a
Speaker 2: huge mental health guy, but there is a difference. Sometimes
Speaker 2: we'll spend more time over here in a therapeutic context,
Speaker 2: and a coach is going to try to move you
Speaker 2: through that limitation a little bit more aggressively.
Speaker 1: Not that either is right.
Speaker 2: Both can be really wrong, but I think it's just
Speaker 2: a casual way to say to people, be careful of
Speaker 2: just always talking about the limitation and arguing for it
Speaker 2: and seeking the empathy and understanding and comfort, because all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, you miss the ability to move through it.
Speaker 2: And I thought that the movement through the book that
Speaker 2: you took people on was so powerful because you didn't
Speaker 2: let them sit there.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you for saying that, because when I wrote
Speaker 1: the mindset, I'm not stuck unless I stop. I thought
Speaker 1: this could come across really callous to somebody or who
Speaker 1: just found out, like I'm never going to be able
Speaker 1: to have children, or I'm never going to be able
Speaker 1: to fulfill this dream, or I'm never going to have
Speaker 1: my health back like I did before, or this person
Speaker 1: has gone out of my life. I lost my dad,
Speaker 1: and in this area of my life, I do feel
Speaker 1: like there is a limitation. Well there is a loss,
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to get you opened up. And anytime
Speaker 1: I talk about this, I can't help but think about
Speaker 1: Moses and the children of Israel at the Red Sea, right,
Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, God, help us, help us, help us.
Speaker 1: And they cried out, and Moses says, don't worry, standstill
Speaker 1: and you will see the salvation of the Lord. Right
Speaker 1: next verse, God says, why are you crying out to me?
Speaker 1: Tell the Israelites move on. So it sounds spiritual. They're
Speaker 1: crying out to God. The Lord will deliver you, and
Speaker 1: He will through you moving through it right. And I
Speaker 1: love that about personal development. I love that about having
Speaker 1: a coach to help us through these things and bring
Speaker 1: our faith into motion so that we can actually see
Speaker 1: faith without works as dead and that God promises to
Speaker 1: bring you through it. Thank you for joining us. Special
Speaker 1: thanks to those of you who give generously to this ministry.
Speaker 1: Is because of you that this ministry is possible. You
Speaker 1: can click the link in the description to give now,
Speaker 1: or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information
Speaker 1: and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. You
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Speaker 1: for listening. God bless you.