WEBVTT - I'm Not Stuck Unless I Stop

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. I'm the pastor of Elevation

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<v Speaker 1>Church and this is our podcast. I wanted to thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for joining us today. Hope this inspires you. Hope

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<v Speaker 1>it builds your faith. Hope it gives your perspective to

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<v Speaker 1>see God has moving in your life. Enjoy the message.

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<v Speaker 1>The premise of Do the New You is that the

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<v Speaker 1>main thing that God changes through anything we go through

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<v Speaker 1>is us. And if you have believed the lie that

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<v Speaker 1>the you you have met so far is all there

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<v Speaker 1>is to you, I think we want to come to

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<v Speaker 1>you with an announcement. You haven't really met you yet.

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<v Speaker 1>The two things we just said, if you put them together,

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<v Speaker 1>will change your life. Because I said that the you

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<v Speaker 1>that God sees is history to him, and then Brendan said,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's a mystery to me. I haven't met that

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<v Speaker 1>version of myself yet, but God has. And I love

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<v Speaker 1>it because it's exactly what I'm trying to say. It's

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<v Speaker 1>history to him. He's already seen it. He's not waiting

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<v Speaker 1>for me to become someone he could love. I used

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<v Speaker 1>to feel like that. I think a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>who believe in Jesus feel like there is a version

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<v Speaker 1>of you that is patient, kind and loving, and God

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<v Speaker 1>will really like hanging out with that guy, and he

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<v Speaker 1>could really use that person. When you become that, then

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<v Speaker 1>God can use you. That's not how God sees it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's history to him. He's already seen it. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>coming forth in your life. So what's a mystery to

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<v Speaker 1>me is history to him. And apart from just rhyming

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<v Speaker 1>like it gives me a new tool for what I

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<v Speaker 1>want to become in my life. It's not just let

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<v Speaker 1>me grind to get there and then I'll be worthy

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<v Speaker 1>of love. One of our favorite authors, Richard Rohor, says

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<v Speaker 1>that most of us were taught that basically God's love

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<v Speaker 1>was ward for when we change, that God will love

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<v Speaker 1>us more when we But actually, he says, God's love

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<v Speaker 1>is the resource by which we change. Oh I love that.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's not something that we're changing for so that

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<v Speaker 1>God will love and accept us more. Is something that

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<v Speaker 1>we're changed by. It is the resource. I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that is a big part of my Christian

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<v Speaker 2>faith and discovery was Oh I don't I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>to go earn his love like I was already saved

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<v Speaker 2>by grace, Like this idea that you that acceptance already happened, right,

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<v Speaker 2>that the sacrifice and Jesus experience opened up the grace

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<v Speaker 2>that allows me to live through that love. I have

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<v Speaker 2>to earn it and then have it and then enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, oh, it's here, it's available, it's been granted.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm accepted already, and I can act through that. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's hard for people because we don't like our so often.

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<v Speaker 2>So you say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God likes me.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure, it's pretty sure.

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<v Speaker 2>But when you really step into that and you realize

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<v Speaker 2>you're already accepted, and now you act through acceptance versus

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<v Speaker 2>acting through earning, you're a different power.

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<v Speaker 1>You're in a different place.

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<v Speaker 2>Right when I walk on stage, if I'm acting through acceptance,

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<v Speaker 2>there's a personal power. There's an authenticity, there's a versus

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<v Speaker 2>a connection. There's different If I think I got to

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<v Speaker 2>go get the roar, I'm scrambling the whole stage.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm scrambling for the roar. I'm scrambling for the rawer

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<v Speaker 1>the acceptance.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, you're doing things to be accepted, to get the praise,

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<v Speaker 2>to get the honor. And then the fact is when

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<v Speaker 2>you do get the praise, when you do get the honor.

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<v Speaker 2>When you do get the roar, you feel empty because

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<v Speaker 2>you weren't acting through acceptance. You are scrambling to get it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's it, man. It's really about whether you are chasing

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<v Speaker 1>an acceptance that you think will be given to you

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<v Speaker 1>as a prize that's the treadmill, or whether you're coming

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<v Speaker 1>from a place of acceptance knowing that well, since I'm

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<v Speaker 1>already accepted, since I've already been given this, I actually

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<v Speaker 1>want to live more into that. Because you talk about

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<v Speaker 1>summoning yourself. And one thing about Christians, sometimes if something

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<v Speaker 1>sounds a little bit technical to us, it just blows

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<v Speaker 1>our mind, like summoning. Is this a seance? Am I

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<v Speaker 1>calling up the glos? Think about that? But I love

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<v Speaker 1>it because it helps me to understand that every day

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<v Speaker 1>I wake up. And this is one of my favorite

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<v Speaker 1>parts that I wrote in the book. I'm deciding a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of things. You know, am I gonna wear this

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<v Speaker 1>black T shirt or that black T shirt? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>like it's gonna be black T shirt? But which one

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<v Speaker 1>am I gonna? Am I gonna do three sets of

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<v Speaker 1>this or four sets of this or no sets of this?

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<v Speaker 1>In my workout? You know, whatever, whatever, But the biggest

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<v Speaker 1>decision is which me will I be? And I think

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<v Speaker 1>that can sound schizophrenic to people, like, what do you mean,

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<v Speaker 1>which me will I be? I'm deciding that right now,

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<v Speaker 1>I decided that an hour ago. I will decide it

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<v Speaker 1>again when I see my kids tonight, and we decide

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<v Speaker 1>that over and over again. And maybe this would be

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<v Speaker 1>a good place for us to get into the idea

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<v Speaker 1>of summoning the self that God sees into the first

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<v Speaker 1>mindset in the book, which is I'm not stuck unless

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<v Speaker 1>I stop. Yes. And I'm going to give you these

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<v Speaker 1>mindsets and Brendan's gonna help me unpack them over the

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<v Speaker 1>next few episodes of this masterclass. But I want you

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<v Speaker 1>to write the first one down, even if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>believe it. Okay, you don't have to believe this. Just

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<v Speaker 1>get it down and then let's argue about it. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>write in the comments I'm not stuck and just put

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<v Speaker 1>that in the comment, even though you're like, I am stuck.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm literally stuck. I'm totally stuck. I'm something else that

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<v Speaker 1>rhymes would stuck, but I can't say it on YouTube.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really really stuck. Okay, that is a challenge paradigm

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<v Speaker 1>for people, because if you look in the Bible, Paul

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<v Speaker 1>and Silas seems stuck in prison, but they praised God

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<v Speaker 1>in the chains broke loose. You know, Gideon seems stuck

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<v Speaker 1>in a wine press, but God spoken, he became a deliverer.

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<v Speaker 1>Moses seems stuck as a murderer, running as a fugitive

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<v Speaker 1>on the back side of the desert, and then this

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<v Speaker 1>burning bush, and God had forty more years of amazing

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<v Speaker 1>things for him to do. And all of these people

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<v Speaker 1>felt stuck. So I want you to tell me what

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<v Speaker 1>were your reflections on this first mindset? I'm not stuck

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<v Speaker 1>unless I stop. Do you agree with it? How do

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<v Speaker 1>you see it? How do we summon our way through that?

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<v Speaker 1>And let's really dig into this first mindset. I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>I love every section of this chapter because it reminds

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<v Speaker 2>you that everyone feels stuck. I think one of the

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<v Speaker 2>things you did great in the book is that people

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<v Speaker 2>see themselves in it constantly. Go I do feel stuck

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes in my relationship, I feel stuck in my head,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel stuck in my career. What am I gonna

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<v Speaker 2>What am I gonna do? And a lot of people,

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<v Speaker 2>they feel like that stuck is permanent mm hm, Like, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm working hard, but I'm stuck. So there's not lack

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<v Speaker 2>of action for them. They're like, I'm going to work,

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<v Speaker 2>but I feel stuck. Uh, you know, I'm working hard,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm not earning more. I feel stuck. And what

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<v Speaker 2>ends up happening is the more you feel stuck, the

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<v Speaker 2>more you spin in doubt.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. And so when you're stuck, you spin. Write that down.

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<v Speaker 1>When you're stuck, you spin. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And people always mistake the signal for doubt as a

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<v Speaker 2>signal to stop. But doubt is not a Doubt is

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<v Speaker 2>not saying stop. Doubt is a signal to learn. And

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<v Speaker 2>when you change that frame in your mind, everything changes

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<v Speaker 2>in your life. I'm so doubtful. Doubt doesn't say well

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<v Speaker 2>stop and don't learn anymore. Doubt is literally I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>So the only way to actually figure it out is

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<v Speaker 2>in motion try test. Like doubt is the entrance to

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<v Speaker 2>the scientific process, Doubt is the entrance to faith.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>And so when you realize that, like, oh, I'm having

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<v Speaker 2>all these doubts about this thing, the next thought should be, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna have to do something to discover the answer.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna have to do something to discover the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna have to do something to test this hypothesis.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, let's break your flow if I ask you something

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<v Speaker 1>about that. No, I love it. Yeah, every religious person

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<v Speaker 1>in the world is pulling up James one right now going.

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<v Speaker 1>But the bubble says, let he who have faith asking

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<v Speaker 1>not doubt, For he ask it, then faith shall not

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<v Speaker 1>receive anything from the Lord. He is a double minded man,

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<v Speaker 1>unstable and all he does. And I always thought that

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<v Speaker 1>verse meant not, you know, don't have doubts or don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel doubts. I thought it just meant go through the

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<v Speaker 1>door of your doubt to get to the other side

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<v Speaker 1>and find your faith.

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<v Speaker 2>Right right, Well, I think a lot of themes of

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<v Speaker 2>the Bible are do not be afraid, or as you

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<v Speaker 2>taught me, be strong and courageous. That presupposes some doubt.

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<v Speaker 2>Most of the Bible presupposes.

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<v Speaker 1>We have doubts. Yeah, he says, be strong. I must

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<v Speaker 1>feel weak because I wouldn't tell you to sit down

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<v Speaker 1>you already are. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>He didn't start the story. Gideon doesn't start the story,

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<v Speaker 2>as you know. He starts in the wine press yah, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>David doesn't start the story with the sling.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, so you have to go. Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Each of these stories starts in a place, often of

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<v Speaker 2>doubt or discouragement, despair, division between people. We have to

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<v Speaker 2>cycle through that. But the thing is, I always say, well,

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<v Speaker 2>that's why there's another verse, that's why there's another chapter,

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<v Speaker 2>it's why there's something more. It's like it might the

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<v Speaker 2>story might begin in doubt, but the story doesn't stop there,

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<v Speaker 2>and we have to remember that in our own lives.

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<v Speaker 2>And so what I loved about this first chapter where

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<v Speaker 2>we're saying I'm not stuck unless I stop, is you

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<v Speaker 2>unlock a lot of reasons that people should not stop

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<v Speaker 2>and realize that they can change. I love how you

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<v Speaker 2>talk about you know, you can defy your default. That

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<v Speaker 2>maybe your default was to stop or to do these bad,

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<v Speaker 2>negative behaviors, but you can work your way through them.

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<v Speaker 2>You can change, you can shift. And I think that's

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<v Speaker 2>a hopeful message for a lot of people because they

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<v Speaker 2>really do believe that they're stuck, and stuck is a

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<v Speaker 2>place of permanence.

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<v Speaker 1>When what your book is teaching stuck was.

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<v Speaker 2>A mindset, and you can change your mind, so you

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<v Speaker 2>can change your life.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. You know, when you say stuck, you're probably thinking

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<v Speaker 1>of all the people that you've coached who basically thought

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<v Speaker 1>they had gone as far as they could go, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>whether that's in their business or whether they had wrecked

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<v Speaker 1>their personal life building their business. And part of what

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<v Speaker 1>you do is to walk into somebody who goes, and

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<v Speaker 1>I've heard you say this phrase before. I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>You go, I've tried everything, right right, yeah, and you go, oh, yeah, everything, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I've tried everything, and then walk through it because you

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<v Speaker 1>have an exercise you make people do that I love. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>well I tried everything. Awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited and I get really encouraged for them.

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<v Speaker 2>And I say, well, if you tried everything, show me

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<v Speaker 2>the list.

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<v Speaker 1>And they go, what do you mean? I said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>show me the list. You tried everything.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you tried everything, then you must have

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<v Speaker 2>kept a list, really detailed of all the things you tried,

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<v Speaker 2>because of course you'd have to know what's mutually exclusive.

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<v Speaker 2>You'd have to know what you tried and didn't work,

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<v Speaker 2>and you have to adjust and do an over and against.

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<v Speaker 2>So show me the list, and most often people go, well,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I've tried once or twice, and I tried

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<v Speaker 2>the same Well, I asked my boss for a raise

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<v Speaker 2>on Monday, ask I weing on Friday, ask them the

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<v Speaker 2>same way every time, all the time. But I've been asking.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've been asking, okay, but you haven't an add

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<v Speaker 2>new value. So so you tried one strategy and you

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<v Speaker 2>hit it fifty times and you didn't adjust it from

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<v Speaker 2>another way. You haven't tried everything. You tried what you knew.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to get perspective or approach it in a

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<v Speaker 2>different way. And I think often too people when they

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<v Speaker 2>think of stuck, they think of just negative things. I'm

0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.880
<v Speaker 2>stuck in a bad marriage. A lot of people are

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:28.040
<v Speaker 2>stuck in a very happy marriage. And what I mean

0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 2>by that is they don't need to leave the marriage.

0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:34.000
<v Speaker 2>They have to learn to be different, try a new

0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.679
<v Speaker 2>angle to find the happiness, the fulfillment, or the intimacy

0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.719
<v Speaker 2>in the marriage. So what I mean by that is

0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.560
<v Speaker 2>sometimes people they're stuck is really they're just at a plateau.

0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 2>They're actually successful, they're actually doing well. Things are good,

0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.199
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of high performances are going, oh you

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 2>you're doing well. You're actually high performing. But there's this

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.840
<v Speaker 2>next level for you, And I think that I actually

0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 2>got that out of the book as much as I

0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.280
<v Speaker 2>gotten out of Oh I'm in despair, I'm troubled, things

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.600
<v Speaker 2>are bad. What I also took from the book was

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:07.200
<v Speaker 2>things are going well, but there's a new level for

0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.760
<v Speaker 2>me when I'm in a more in a greater connection

0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:13.559
<v Speaker 2>to my faith. Speaking about plateaus, you have this great

0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:17.640
<v Speaker 2>statement in the book, don't argue for your limitations.

0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:18.880
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean by that?

0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:20.600
<v Speaker 2>Because I think a lot of people they are stuck,

0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:21.840
<v Speaker 2>but they're stuck in their own limitation.

0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I heard a motivational speaker say at one time. He said,

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:28.880
<v Speaker 1>if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.

0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:35.319
<v Speaker 1>And that convicted me because I realized how many times

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.520
<v Speaker 1>i'd do it. And I don't know if I'm arguing

0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.920
<v Speaker 1>with God like Moses did God, I can't speak, you know,

0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 1>send somebody else. I don't feel like I'm arguing with God.

0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm just arguing against myself. And I

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:54.040
<v Speaker 1>realized what I'm actually agreeing with in that moment is

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 1>the enemy's view of me. And I don't mean limitation. Hey,

0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:01.880
<v Speaker 1>you've I ever picked up a basketball, but you can

0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:04.200
<v Speaker 1>play in the NBA and you're fifty four years old.

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:06.400
<v Speaker 1>That's not a kind of limitation I have in mind.

0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean the kind of limitation that is rooted in

0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:12.080
<v Speaker 1>a lie where you know God is calling you to

0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.439
<v Speaker 1>be this kind of person and to make this kind

0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.840
<v Speaker 1>of impact, or you sense that he's giving you a

0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.800
<v Speaker 1>glimpse and giving you a step to take, and then

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 1>you start building the case against yourself and gathering evidence

0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.000
<v Speaker 1>for why there's a deficiency in you. And so the

0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 1>quote just blew my mind. If you argue for your limitations,

0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.920
<v Speaker 1>you get to keep them. You live small, you stay

0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:36.680
<v Speaker 1>in that space, you actually begin to fulfill that prophecy,

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 1>not the prophecy of God over your life, but your

0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:44.080
<v Speaker 1>own prophecy. You start to fulfill the enemy's prophecy over

0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 1>your life that you'll never be this And your dad

0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.320
<v Speaker 1>wasn't that. So what I did. I took that quote

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:51.800
<v Speaker 1>and in the book I take it a little further.

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.480
<v Speaker 1>I say, if you argue for your limitations, you get

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:58.360
<v Speaker 1>to keep them, But if you agree with God about

0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.800
<v Speaker 1>your potential, you get to grow into it. Oh that's good,

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:04.520
<v Speaker 1>grow into it. That's good. You know, that's a whole sermon.

0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Put it in the check grow into it, because growing

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:12.640
<v Speaker 1>into it means no, I'm not it right now, like

0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:17.080
<v Speaker 1>anymore than i was five nine when I was five,

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:19.720
<v Speaker 1>But I get to grow into it. And I think

0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.720
<v Speaker 1>that first step of agreeing with God about your potential

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 1>is to go, God, you know what's in me. I don't.

0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:30.920
<v Speaker 1>And that's why I'm very wary of just the know

0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:35.240
<v Speaker 1>thyself philosophy. Right Like, know thyself is great, but how

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:39.080
<v Speaker 1>about part two, grow thyself? Yes, yeah, because that's the

0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:45.840
<v Speaker 1>outgrow of reflection and awareness and self acceptance, is that

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to grow into who God knows me to be.

0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.280
<v Speaker 1>That's the message of the book. I was writing this

0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.480
<v Speaker 1>book to myself in places, going do the new you,

0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:56.720
<v Speaker 1>the you that you don't know yet, but that God

0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 1>already does, the one that he chose.

0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and have faith in yourself as equally as maybe

0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.840
<v Speaker 2>he has faith in you, which is a hard thing

0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.760
<v Speaker 2>to grow into. Well, think about this. You're growing in

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:08.680
<v Speaker 2>the faith of yourself, which is very hard.

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 1>Of yourself because people will say, don't believe in yourself,

0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.720
<v Speaker 1>believe in God. Here's the problem I have with that

0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:21.000
<v Speaker 1>who made you? If God made me and I don't

0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:24.720
<v Speaker 1>believe in me, what he called me to be, then

0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.600
<v Speaker 1>it's him I doubt, and that really helps me to

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.360
<v Speaker 1>get past this sticking point where I feel like, well,

0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:32.640
<v Speaker 1>I just don't want to hide myself up and say

0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 1>that you know I can do great things. Well, I

0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:37.720
<v Speaker 1>can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Yes,

0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 1>So I think the two go hand in hand. That's

0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:42.920
<v Speaker 1>why I was passionate to get this masterclass, going to

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.400
<v Speaker 1>get people out of and to get you out of

0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.280
<v Speaker 1>this mindset that says, well, God is great, but I'm

0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 1>no good. Okay, Yeah, we're all sinners, we all need Jesus,

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.520
<v Speaker 1>we all need forgiveness, but we've been redeemed by him.

0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 1>So what does that speak of us? That He paid

0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:59.360
<v Speaker 1>that price for us? And that's the limitation that I

0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.080
<v Speaker 1>want you to grow beyond this view of you that

0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 1>only sees you as flesh and bones and mistakes and disappointments,

0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.560
<v Speaker 1>and to grow into the image of God that you

0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.879
<v Speaker 1>were originally created to be. So good.

0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I thought of when I was reading it, the angle

0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 2>you took on don't argue for your limitations, which was

0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:23.359
<v Speaker 2>also you were saying, be careful about justifying all your

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:27.040
<v Speaker 2>vulnerabilities and your challenges and what's wrong with you, because

0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.679
<v Speaker 2>it's easy to go, well, you know, I'm not a

0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:34.520
<v Speaker 2>good communicator because and soon you say, because you enter

0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:39.600
<v Speaker 2>the world of either blame or self comfort to say,

0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:42.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm not good communicator because my parents were mean to me.

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.800
<v Speaker 2>And so I was telling you about listen on limitations.

0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Always listen for the word because wow, I'm like this,

0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.120
<v Speaker 2>because and you'll often add a negative thing.

0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:53.600
<v Speaker 1>My parents were like this. They didn't believe in me.

0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:58.000
<v Speaker 2>She mistreated me, they cheated, they stole, or we're doing

0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:00.240
<v Speaker 2>it for our own comfort because we don't belie we

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.200
<v Speaker 2>have empathy from the world. So sometimes when we share

0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.959
<v Speaker 2>our limitations and our vulnerabilities with people, what we're doing

0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:09.760
<v Speaker 2>is we're reaching out. We're saying, hey, you know, I'm

0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, let me just be vulnerable with you real quick.

0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.480
<v Speaker 1>What could you please see me? Can you recognize me?

0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.240
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm not feeling like I like myself, or I'm

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.720
<v Speaker 2>not feeling good seen heard, or I don't feel like

0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.479
<v Speaker 2>the world is fair. So let me tell you this

0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.600
<v Speaker 2>thing that's unfair for me. Could you see it and

0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:29.240
<v Speaker 2>acknowledge it and say to me, oh, yeah, that is unfair,

0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:31.880
<v Speaker 2>or oh I understand now why you are like that,

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:37.160
<v Speaker 2>and the whole conversation suddenly does something funny. It justifies

0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 2>and sets concrete around the limitation. Well, suddenly we have

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 2>verbalized the reason, because we've verbalized the reason for the limitation,

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.119
<v Speaker 2>and now we coalesce around it, and we actually just

0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:54.480
<v Speaker 2>made it stronger. And so empathy can be like that,

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:56.480
<v Speaker 2>which we don't talk about in the modern world. Sometimes

0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:01.480
<v Speaker 2>overly placating to people's you know, vulnerability or limitations and

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:04.639
<v Speaker 2>staying on it and stewing on it all day doesn't

0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.320
<v Speaker 2>actually move them through. It's often the difference in my

0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.600
<v Speaker 2>career of as we'll share the difference sometimes between the

0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:13.920
<v Speaker 2>therapist and a coach. Both absolutely necessary and I'm a

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:17.600
<v Speaker 2>huge mental health guy, but there is a difference. Sometimes

0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:21.000
<v Speaker 2>we'll spend more time over here in a therapeutic context,

0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:22.840
<v Speaker 2>and a coach is going to try to move you

0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.399
<v Speaker 2>through that limitation a little bit more aggressively.

0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:26.800
<v Speaker 1>Not that either is right.

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.480
<v Speaker 2>Both can be really wrong, but I think it's just

0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:31.720
<v Speaker 2>a casual way to say to people, be careful of

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:34.440
<v Speaker 2>just always talking about the limitation and arguing for it

0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:37.439
<v Speaker 2>and seeking the empathy and understanding and comfort, because all

0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:41.080
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, you miss the ability to move through it.

0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.719
<v Speaker 2>And I thought that the movement through the book that

0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.200
<v Speaker 2>you took people on was so powerful because you didn't

0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:48.000
<v Speaker 2>let them sit there.

0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:51.439
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you for saying that, because when I wrote

0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.919
<v Speaker 1>the mindset, I'm not stuck unless I stop. I thought

0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.480
<v Speaker 1>this could come across really callous to somebody or who

0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:01.399
<v Speaker 1>just found out, like I'm never going to be able

0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:04.400
<v Speaker 1>to have children, or I'm never going to be able

0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:06.679
<v Speaker 1>to fulfill this dream, or I'm never going to have

0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:09.280
<v Speaker 1>my health back like I did before, or this person

0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:12.359
<v Speaker 1>has gone out of my life. I lost my dad,

0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:14.480
<v Speaker 1>and in this area of my life, I do feel

0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.680
<v Speaker 1>like there is a limitation. Well there is a loss,

0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:21.320
<v Speaker 1>but I'm trying to get you opened up. And anytime

0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:23.639
<v Speaker 1>I talk about this, I can't help but think about

0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 1>Moses and the children of Israel at the Red Sea, right,

0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.479
<v Speaker 1>and they're like, okay, God, help us, help us, help us.

0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:32.200
<v Speaker 1>And they cried out, and Moses says, don't worry, standstill

0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 1>and you will see the salvation of the Lord. Right

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 1>next verse, God says, why are you crying out to me?

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:43.840
<v Speaker 1>Tell the Israelites move on. So it sounds spiritual. They're

0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:46.159
<v Speaker 1>crying out to God. The Lord will deliver you, and

0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:51.119
<v Speaker 1>He will through you moving through it right. And I

0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:55.040
<v Speaker 1>love that about personal development. I love that about having

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:58.160
<v Speaker 1>a coach to help us through these things and bring

0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:01.640
<v Speaker 1>our faith into motion so that we can actually see

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:05.800
<v Speaker 1>faith without works as dead and that God promises to

0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:09.480
<v Speaker 1>bring you through it. Thank you for joining us. Special

0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:12.359
<v Speaker 1>thanks to those of you who give generously to this ministry.

0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:15.639
<v Speaker 1>Is because of you that this ministry is possible. You

0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:18.040
<v Speaker 1>can click the link in the description to give now,

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:22.480
<v Speaker 1>or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information

0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 1>and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. You

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.240
<v Speaker 1>can share it with your friends. You can click the

0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:30.560
<v Speaker 1>share button, take a screenshot and share it on your

0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:33.560
<v Speaker 1>social stories and tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks again

0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:39.760
<v Speaker 1>for listening. God bless you.