1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. I'm the pastor of Elevation 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: Church and this is our podcast. I wanted to thank 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: you for joining us today. Hope this inspires you. Hope 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: it builds your faith. Hope it gives your perspective to 5 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: see God has moving in your life. Enjoy the message. 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: The premise of Do the New You is that the 7 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: main thing that God changes through anything we go through 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: is us. And if you have believed the lie that 9 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: the you you have met so far is all there 10 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: is to you, I think we want to come to 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 1: you with an announcement. You haven't really met you yet. 12 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: The two things we just said, if you put them together, 13 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: will change your life. Because I said that the you 14 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: that God sees is history to him, and then Brendan said, 15 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: but it's a mystery to me. I haven't met that 16 00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: version of myself yet, but God has. And I love 17 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: it because it's exactly what I'm trying to say. It's 18 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: history to him. He's already seen it. He's not waiting 19 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: for me to become someone he could love. I used 20 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 1: to feel like that. I think a lot of people 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: who believe in Jesus feel like there is a version 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: of you that is patient, kind and loving, and God 23 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: will really like hanging out with that guy, and he 24 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: could really use that person. When you become that, then 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: God can use you. That's not how God sees it. 26 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: It's history to him. He's already seen it. It's just 27 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: coming forth in your life. So what's a mystery to 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: me is history to him. And apart from just rhyming 29 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: like it gives me a new tool for what I 30 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: want to become in my life. It's not just let 31 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: me grind to get there and then I'll be worthy 32 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: of love. One of our favorite authors, Richard Rohor, says 33 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: that most of us were taught that basically God's love 34 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: was ward for when we change, that God will love 35 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: us more when we But actually, he says, God's love 36 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: is the resource by which we change. Oh I love that. 37 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: So it's not something that we're changing for so that 38 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: God will love and accept us more. Is something that 39 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: we're changed by. It is the resource. I love that. 40 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 2: I think that is a big part of my Christian 41 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 2: faith and discovery was Oh I don't I don't have 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 2: to go earn his love like I was already saved 43 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 2: by grace, Like this idea that you that acceptance already happened, right, 44 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: that the sacrifice and Jesus experience opened up the grace 45 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 2: that allows me to live through that love. I have 46 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 2: to earn it and then have it and then enjoy it. 47 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 2: It's like, oh, it's here, it's available, it's been granted. 48 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 2: I'm accepted already, and I can act through that. And 49 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 2: that's hard for people because we don't like our so often. 50 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 2: So you say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God likes me. 51 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: Sure, it's pretty sure. 52 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 2: But when you really step into that and you realize 53 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: you're already accepted, and now you act through acceptance versus 54 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 2: acting through earning, you're a different power. 55 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: You're in a different place. 56 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: Right when I walk on stage, if I'm acting through acceptance, 57 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 2: there's a personal power. There's an authenticity, there's a versus 58 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 2: a connection. There's different If I think I got to 59 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 2: go get the roar, I'm scrambling the whole stage. 60 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: I'm scrambling for the roar. I'm scrambling for the rawer 61 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: the acceptance. 62 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 2: Right, you're doing things to be accepted, to get the praise, 63 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 2: to get the honor. And then the fact is when 64 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 2: you do get the praise, when you do get the honor. 65 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 2: When you do get the roar, you feel empty because 66 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 2: you weren't acting through acceptance. You are scrambling to get it. 67 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: That's it, man. It's really about whether you are chasing 68 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: an acceptance that you think will be given to you 69 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: as a prize that's the treadmill, or whether you're coming 70 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: from a place of acceptance knowing that well, since I'm 71 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: already accepted, since I've already been given this, I actually 72 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: want to live more into that. Because you talk about 73 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: summoning yourself. And one thing about Christians, sometimes if something 74 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: sounds a little bit technical to us, it just blows 75 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: our mind, like summoning. Is this a seance? Am I 76 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: calling up the glos? Think about that? But I love 77 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: it because it helps me to understand that every day 78 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: I wake up. And this is one of my favorite 79 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: parts that I wrote in the book. I'm deciding a 80 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: bunch of things. You know, am I gonna wear this 81 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: black T shirt or that black T shirt? You know, 82 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: like it's gonna be black T shirt? But which one 83 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: am I gonna? Am I gonna do three sets of 84 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: this or four sets of this or no sets of this? 85 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,679 Speaker 1: In my workout? You know, whatever, whatever, But the biggest 86 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: decision is which me will I be? And I think 87 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: that can sound schizophrenic to people, like, what do you mean, 88 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 1: which me will I be? I'm deciding that right now, 89 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 1: I decided that an hour ago. I will decide it 90 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: again when I see my kids tonight, and we decide 91 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: that over and over again. And maybe this would be 92 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: a good place for us to get into the idea 93 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: of summoning the self that God sees into the first 94 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 1: mindset in the book, which is I'm not stuck unless 95 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: I stop. Yes. And I'm going to give you these 96 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: mindsets and Brendan's gonna help me unpack them over the 97 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 1: next few episodes of this masterclass. But I want you 98 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 1: to write the first one down, even if you don't 99 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: believe it. Okay, you don't have to believe this. Just 100 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: get it down and then let's argue about it. Okay, 101 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: write in the comments I'm not stuck and just put 102 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,480 Speaker 1: that in the comment, even though you're like, I am stuck. 103 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: I'm literally stuck. I'm totally stuck. I'm something else that 104 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,239 Speaker 1: rhymes would stuck, but I can't say it on YouTube. 105 00:05:55,360 --> 00:06:00,679 Speaker 1: I'm really really stuck. Okay, that is a challenge paradigm 106 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: for people, because if you look in the Bible, Paul 107 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: and Silas seems stuck in prison, but they praised God 108 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: in the chains broke loose. You know, Gideon seems stuck 109 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: in a wine press, but God spoken, he became a deliverer. 110 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: Moses seems stuck as a murderer, running as a fugitive 111 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: on the back side of the desert, and then this 112 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: burning bush, and God had forty more years of amazing 113 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: things for him to do. And all of these people 114 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: felt stuck. So I want you to tell me what 115 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: were your reflections on this first mindset? I'm not stuck 116 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: unless I stop. Do you agree with it? How do 117 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: you see it? How do we summon our way through that? 118 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: And let's really dig into this first mindset. I love it. 119 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: I love every section of this chapter because it reminds 120 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 2: you that everyone feels stuck. I think one of the 121 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: things you did great in the book is that people 122 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 2: see themselves in it constantly. Go I do feel stuck 123 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,559 Speaker 2: sometimes in my relationship, I feel stuck in my head, 124 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 2: I feel stuck in my career. What am I gonna 125 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? And a lot of people, 126 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 2: they feel like that stuck is permanent mm hm, Like, hey, 127 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 2: I'm working hard, but I'm stuck. So there's not lack 128 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 2: of action for them. They're like, I'm going to work, 129 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: but I feel stuck. Uh, you know, I'm working hard, 130 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: but I'm not earning more. I feel stuck. And what 131 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 2: ends up happening is the more you feel stuck, the 132 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 2: more you spin in doubt. 133 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: Wow. And so when you're stuck, you spin. Write that down. 134 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: When you're stuck, you spin. Yeah. 135 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 2: And people always mistake the signal for doubt as a 136 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 2: signal to stop. But doubt is not a Doubt is 137 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 2: not saying stop. Doubt is a signal to learn. And 138 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 2: when you change that frame in your mind, everything changes 139 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 2: in your life. I'm so doubtful. Doubt doesn't say well 140 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 2: stop and don't learn anymore. Doubt is literally I don't know. 141 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 2: So the only way to actually figure it out is 142 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 2: in motion try test. Like doubt is the entrance to 143 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 2: the scientific process, Doubt is the entrance to faith. 144 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: Wow. 145 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: And so when you realize that, like, oh, I'm having 146 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: all these doubts about this thing, the next thought should be, well, 147 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to discover the answer. 148 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to discover the truth. 149 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to do something to test this hypothesis. 150 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: Well, let's break your flow if I ask you something 151 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: about that. No, I love it. Yeah, every religious person 152 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: in the world is pulling up James one right now going. 153 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: But the bubble says, let he who have faith asking 154 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: not doubt, For he ask it, then faith shall not 155 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 1: receive anything from the Lord. He is a double minded man, 156 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: unstable and all he does. And I always thought that 157 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: verse meant not, you know, don't have doubts or don't 158 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: feel doubts. I thought it just meant go through the 159 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 1: door of your doubt to get to the other side 160 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 1: and find your faith. 161 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 2: Right right, Well, I think a lot of themes of 162 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 2: the Bible are do not be afraid, or as you 163 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 2: taught me, be strong and courageous. That presupposes some doubt. 164 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: Most of the Bible presupposes. 165 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: We have doubts. Yeah, he says, be strong. I must 166 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: feel weak because I wouldn't tell you to sit down 167 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: you already are. Yeah. 168 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 2: He didn't start the story. Gideon doesn't start the story, 169 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 2: as you know. He starts in the wine press yah, Yeah, 170 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: David doesn't start the story with the sling. 171 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 1: I mean, so you have to go. Oh. 172 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 2: Each of these stories starts in a place, often of 173 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: doubt or discouragement, despair, division between people. We have to 174 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 2: cycle through that. But the thing is, I always say, well, 175 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 2: that's why there's another verse, that's why there's another chapter, 176 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: it's why there's something more. It's like it might the 177 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 2: story might begin in doubt, but the story doesn't stop there, 178 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 2: and we have to remember that in our own lives. 179 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 2: And so what I loved about this first chapter where 180 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 2: we're saying I'm not stuck unless I stop, is you 181 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: unlock a lot of reasons that people should not stop 182 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 2: and realize that they can change. I love how you 183 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 2: talk about you know, you can defy your default. That 184 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 2: maybe your default was to stop or to do these bad, 185 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 2: negative behaviors, but you can work your way through them. 186 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 2: You can change, you can shift. And I think that's 187 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 2: a hopeful message for a lot of people because they 188 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 2: really do believe that they're stuck, and stuck is a 189 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 2: place of permanence. 190 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: When what your book is teaching stuck was. 191 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 2: A mindset, and you can change your mind, so you 192 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 2: can change your life. 193 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, when you say stuck, you're probably thinking 194 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 1: of all the people that you've coached who basically thought 195 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: they had gone as far as they could go, you know, 196 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: whether that's in their business or whether they had wrecked 197 00:10:56,679 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: their personal life building their business. And part of what 198 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: you do is to walk into somebody who goes, and 199 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: I've heard you say this phrase before. I love it. 200 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: You go, I've tried everything, right right, yeah, and you go, oh, yeah, everything, Yeah, 201 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: I've tried everything, and then walk through it because you 202 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: have an exercise you make people do that I love. Yeah, 203 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: well I tried everything. Awesome. 204 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 2: I'm so excited and I get really encouraged for them. 205 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 2: And I say, well, if you tried everything, show me 206 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 2: the list. 207 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: And they go, what do you mean? I said, well, 208 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: show me the list. You tried everything. 209 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 2: I mean, if you tried everything, then you must have 210 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 2: kept a list, really detailed of all the things you tried, 211 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 2: because of course you'd have to know what's mutually exclusive. 212 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 2: You'd have to know what you tried and didn't work, 213 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 2: and you have to adjust and do an over and against. 214 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 2: So show me the list, and most often people go, well, 215 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: you know, I've tried once or twice, and I tried 216 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: the same Well, I asked my boss for a raise 217 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 2: on Monday, ask I weing on Friday, ask them the 218 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 2: same way every time, all the time. But I've been asking. 219 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: So you've been asking, okay, but you haven't an add 220 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 2: new value. So so you tried one strategy and you 221 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 2: hit it fifty times and you didn't adjust it from 222 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 2: another way. You haven't tried everything. You tried what you knew. 223 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 2: You need to get perspective or approach it in a 224 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 2: different way. And I think often too people when they 225 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 2: think of stuck, they think of just negative things. I'm 226 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 2: stuck in a bad marriage. A lot of people are 227 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 2: stuck in a very happy marriage. And what I mean 228 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 2: by that is they don't need to leave the marriage. 229 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 2: They have to learn to be different, try a new 230 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,679 Speaker 2: angle to find the happiness, the fulfillment, or the intimacy 231 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 2: in the marriage. So what I mean by that is 232 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,560 Speaker 2: sometimes people they're stuck is really they're just at a plateau. 233 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 2: They're actually successful, they're actually doing well. Things are good, 234 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 2: and a lot of high performances are going, oh you 235 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: you're doing well. You're actually high performing. But there's this 236 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 2: next level for you, And I think that I actually 237 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 2: got that out of the book as much as I 238 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 2: gotten out of Oh I'm in despair, I'm troubled, things 239 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 2: are bad. What I also took from the book was 240 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 2: things are going well, but there's a new level for 241 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 2: me when I'm in a more in a greater connection 242 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 2: to my faith. Speaking about plateaus, you have this great 243 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 2: statement in the book, don't argue for your limitations. 244 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: What do you mean by that? 245 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of people they are stuck, 246 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 2: but they're stuck in their own limitation. 247 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 1: I heard a motivational speaker say at one time. He said, 248 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. 249 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,319 Speaker 1: And that convicted me because I realized how many times 250 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: i'd do it. And I don't know if I'm arguing 251 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: with God like Moses did God, I can't speak, you know, 252 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 1: send somebody else. I don't feel like I'm arguing with God. 253 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just arguing against myself. And I 254 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: realized what I'm actually agreeing with in that moment is 255 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: the enemy's view of me. And I don't mean limitation. Hey, 256 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: you've I ever picked up a basketball, but you can 257 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 1: play in the NBA and you're fifty four years old. 258 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: That's not a kind of limitation I have in mind. 259 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 1: I mean the kind of limitation that is rooted in 260 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: a lie where you know God is calling you to 261 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,439 Speaker 1: be this kind of person and to make this kind 262 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: of impact, or you sense that he's giving you a 263 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: glimpse and giving you a step to take, and then 264 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: you start building the case against yourself and gathering evidence 265 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 1: for why there's a deficiency in you. And so the 266 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 1: quote just blew my mind. If you argue for your limitations, 267 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: you get to keep them. You live small, you stay 268 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: in that space, you actually begin to fulfill that prophecy, 269 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 1: not the prophecy of God over your life, but your 270 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: own prophecy. You start to fulfill the enemy's prophecy over 271 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: your life that you'll never be this And your dad 272 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: wasn't that. So what I did. I took that quote 273 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: and in the book I take it a little further. 274 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: I say, if you argue for your limitations, you get 275 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: to keep them, But if you agree with God about 276 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: your potential, you get to grow into it. Oh that's good, 277 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: grow into it. That's good. You know, that's a whole sermon. 278 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: Put it in the check grow into it, because growing 279 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: into it means no, I'm not it right now, like 280 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: anymore than i was five nine when I was five, 281 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: But I get to grow into it. And I think 282 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: that first step of agreeing with God about your potential 283 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: is to go, God, you know what's in me. I don't. 284 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: And that's why I'm very wary of just the know 285 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 1: thyself philosophy. Right Like, know thyself is great, but how 286 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: about part two, grow thyself? Yes, yeah, because that's the 287 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: outgrow of reflection and awareness and self acceptance, is that 288 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to grow into who God knows me to be. 289 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: That's the message of the book. I was writing this 290 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: book to myself in places, going do the new you, 291 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: the you that you don't know yet, but that God 292 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: already does, the one that he chose. 293 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, and have faith in yourself as equally as maybe 294 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: he has faith in you, which is a hard thing 295 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 2: to grow into. Well, think about this. You're growing in 296 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 2: the faith of yourself, which is very hard. 297 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: Of yourself because people will say, don't believe in yourself, 298 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: believe in God. Here's the problem I have with that 299 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: who made you? If God made me and I don't 300 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: believe in me, what he called me to be, then 301 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: it's him I doubt, and that really helps me to 302 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: get past this sticking point where I feel like, well, 303 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: I just don't want to hide myself up and say 304 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: that you know I can do great things. Well, I 305 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Yes, 306 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: So I think the two go hand in hand. That's 307 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: why I was passionate to get this masterclass, going to 308 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: get people out of and to get you out of 309 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 1: this mindset that says, well, God is great, but I'm 310 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: no good. Okay, Yeah, we're all sinners, we all need Jesus, 311 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: we all need forgiveness, but we've been redeemed by him. 312 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: So what does that speak of us? That He paid 313 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: that price for us? And that's the limitation that I 314 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: want you to grow beyond this view of you that 315 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 1: only sees you as flesh and bones and mistakes and disappointments, 316 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: and to grow into the image of God that you 317 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 1: were originally created to be. So good. 318 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: I thought of when I was reading it, the angle 319 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 2: you took on don't argue for your limitations, which was 320 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 2: also you were saying, be careful about justifying all your 321 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 2: vulnerabilities and your challenges and what's wrong with you, because 322 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,679 Speaker 2: it's easy to go, well, you know, I'm not a 323 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 2: good communicator because and soon you say, because you enter 324 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 2: the world of either blame or self comfort to say, 325 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 2: I'm not good communicator because my parents were mean to me. 326 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 2: And so I was telling you about listen on limitations. 327 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 2: Always listen for the word because wow, I'm like this, 328 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 2: because and you'll often add a negative thing. 329 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: My parents were like this. They didn't believe in me. 330 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 2: She mistreated me, they cheated, they stole, or we're doing 331 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 2: it for our own comfort because we don't belie we 332 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: have empathy from the world. So sometimes when we share 333 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,959 Speaker 2: our limitations and our vulnerabilities with people, what we're doing 334 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 2: is we're reaching out. We're saying, hey, you know, I'm 335 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 2: you know, let me just be vulnerable with you real quick. 336 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: What could you please see me? Can you recognize me? 337 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 2: Because I'm not feeling like I like myself, or I'm 338 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 2: not feeling good seen heard, or I don't feel like 339 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,479 Speaker 2: the world is fair. So let me tell you this 340 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 2: thing that's unfair for me. Could you see it and 341 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 2: acknowledge it and say to me, oh, yeah, that is unfair, 342 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 2: or oh I understand now why you are like that, 343 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:37,160 Speaker 2: and the whole conversation suddenly does something funny. It justifies 344 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 2: and sets concrete around the limitation. Well, suddenly we have 345 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 2: verbalized the reason, because we've verbalized the reason for the limitation, 346 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 2: and now we coalesce around it, and we actually just 347 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 2: made it stronger. And so empathy can be like that, 348 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: which we don't talk about in the modern world. Sometimes 349 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 2: overly placating to people's you know, vulnerability or limitations and 350 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 2: staying on it and stewing on it all day doesn't 351 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: actually move them through. It's often the difference in my 352 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 2: career of as we'll share the difference sometimes between the 353 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 2: therapist and a coach. Both absolutely necessary and I'm a 354 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 2: huge mental health guy, but there is a difference. Sometimes 355 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 2: we'll spend more time over here in a therapeutic context, 356 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 2: and a coach is going to try to move you 357 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 2: through that limitation a little bit more aggressively. 358 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: Not that either is right. 359 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 2: Both can be really wrong, but I think it's just 360 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 2: a casual way to say to people, be careful of 361 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 2: just always talking about the limitation and arguing for it 362 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,439 Speaker 2: and seeking the empathy and understanding and comfort, because all 363 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 2: of a sudden, you miss the ability to move through it. 364 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,719 Speaker 2: And I thought that the movement through the book that 365 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 2: you took people on was so powerful because you didn't 366 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 2: let them sit there. 367 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,439 Speaker 1: Well, thank you for saying that, because when I wrote 368 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: the mindset, I'm not stuck unless I stop. I thought 369 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 1: this could come across really callous to somebody or who 370 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: just found out, like I'm never going to be able 371 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 1: to have children, or I'm never going to be able 372 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 1: to fulfill this dream, or I'm never going to have 373 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,280 Speaker 1: my health back like I did before, or this person 374 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: has gone out of my life. I lost my dad, 375 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: and in this area of my life, I do feel 376 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: like there is a limitation. Well there is a loss, 377 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: but I'm trying to get you opened up. And anytime 378 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 1: I talk about this, I can't help but think about 379 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: Moses and the children of Israel at the Red Sea, right, 380 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,479 Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, God, help us, help us, help us. 381 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 1: And they cried out, and Moses says, don't worry, standstill 382 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: and you will see the salvation of the Lord. Right 383 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 1: next verse, God says, why are you crying out to me? 384 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: Tell the Israelites move on. So it sounds spiritual. They're 385 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 1: crying out to God. The Lord will deliver you, and 386 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 1: He will through you moving through it right. And I 387 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: love that about personal development. I love that about having 388 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: a coach to help us through these things and bring 389 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,640 Speaker 1: our faith into motion so that we can actually see 390 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: faith without works as dead and that God promises to 391 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 1: bring you through it. Thank you for joining us. Special 392 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: thanks to those of you who give generously to this ministry. 393 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,639 Speaker 1: Is because of you that this ministry is possible. You 394 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: can click the link in the description to give now, 395 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information 396 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. 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