1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, welcome back to Tenny Teapot. 2 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me. I know that 3 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: with spring break ending and being back into virtual schooling 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: with the kids a newborn life, some days feels so 5 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: chaotic that I realized I need to talk to a professional. 6 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 1: So I am bringing on Joe Frost from Supernanny. She 7 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: has twenty five years and the parental arena and guys, 8 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: I mean, let's be honest, all those moms out there, 9 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,840 Speaker 1: we need the help. Joe. Thank you so much for 10 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: joining me today. I have to tell you, like last week, 11 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: I thought like I'm doing pretty good, like I'm I'm 12 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: nailing this whole parenting thing. Well it was because my 13 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: kids were on spring break. But now now they're back 14 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: in school, and I am it's like a hot mess 15 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: express over here. Like a lot of families were. We're 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: feeling the pinch when you know they were told, look, 17 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to homeschool. I mean, you know, people 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: are up in arms how they were going to get through. Um, Teddy, 19 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: you know what You're going to do the best that 20 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: you can do. It's as simple ast that I want. Listen, 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,199 Speaker 1: this is what I said to every parent, right, which 22 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: is true. We're not teachers period, Right, we're not teachers. Secondly, 23 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: we're at home schooling. Like everybody who holds schools knows 24 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: that it's different. We follow a curriculum. Yeah, there are 25 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: guidelines and everybody's got their unique way of when they 26 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: home school with their kids if they hold school. For 27 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: those of us that don't that send our kids off 28 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: on the bars by have a good day or drop 29 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: our kids. Offer in the line, we are at home 30 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: during a crisis, homeschooling, not homeschooling. Now we're home during 31 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: the pandemic trying to homeschool. So you're going to do 32 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,519 Speaker 1: the best that you can do, and what you can't do, 33 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: you're gonna let go of. Because I think it's really 34 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: brought home to many parents really the importance of it 35 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: being about themselves as well as them thinking so far ahead, 36 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: thinking well, what's it going to do to my kids? 37 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: You know, is it going to you know, is it 38 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: going to mess up their exams? Is it going to this, 39 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: is it gonna you know, it's gonna miss their whole 40 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: life up. Look, at the end of the day, yes, 41 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: education is incredibly important, but it's not going to insulate 42 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: our children long term from the mental health of what 43 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: the impact of this will be. And we don't know 44 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: what that's going to be because we don't know right 45 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: now how long we're going to be in shelter for 46 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: what the plan is. Do we know as a country, 47 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: as a community, as families, what the plan is for 48 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: us to be back into the community where we're all 49 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: going to be safe. I mean, we're all reading, and 50 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: we're all watching, and we're all seeing what's going on, 51 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: you know. So you know, for parents out there right now, 52 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: I need you to recognize the importance of cutting yourself 53 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: some slack and recognizing this. You've got to meet in 54 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: the middle. You've got to meet in the middle, otherwise 55 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna drive yourselves insane. You know. Reach out to 56 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: teachers if you really are stup, and see if they 57 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: can help you through it. Right, because kids have talked 58 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: differently to how we were taught, you know, get your 59 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: older siblings to be able to help the younger siblings 60 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: because they likely have a better chance of knowing than us. Right, 61 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: because we were talked differently, reach out to upper moms 62 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: and on it. I got clue clueless. I don't even 63 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: know how to get through this one. Like I don't 64 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: even want that, Like, are you cutting me? What is 65 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: this new math? Like my first grade is smarter than me? Right, absolutely, 66 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: no idea? Did you see that I was talking about 67 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: that wonderful um? It just it made me laugh so much. 68 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: I couldn't get through it. It took me four times 69 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 1: to get through the end of it was the Israeli woman. 70 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 1: But let me just look out my clarinet, play the clarinet? 71 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: You know why not? I mean, of course I love 72 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: what to do? Like, um, you know, she goes, Yeah, 73 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 1: my son's fine is eating us out of house and home? 74 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: What about? How I am? You know, I just found 75 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: it so hilarious because right now, as parents, I do 76 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: think we have to find a compromise. We have to 77 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: find the middle ground. Humor is going to get us 78 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: through this, but we have to be diligent as well 79 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: with the important facts of what we need to do 80 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: to keep safe. Right. But at the same time, the 81 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: only people that are going to cut each other slack 82 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: is ourselves. Right. I'm not saying throw the towel in 83 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: and say right, I'm not doing nothing at least give 84 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: it your hundred percent effort. At least put your best 85 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: foot forward and give it a go and reach out 86 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: to another mom and say, I haven't got a clue. 87 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: Nott got a clue? Do you know? Because I don't know. 88 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: And if there's a band off you that ain't got 89 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 1: a clue, then you haven't got a clue, right and 90 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,799 Speaker 1: reach out to a teacher and if that doesn't work, 91 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: cut it, talk talk right now and say I'm not 92 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: going to beat myself up about it, because right now, 93 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: we need to keep ourselves safe. We need to make 94 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: sure that we're out and we are keeping social distance, 95 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: but we are moving. We need to keep this healthy 96 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: up here because if parents right now who are holding 97 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: down the faults in their beautiful sanctuary and not creating 98 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: an environment that's going to be conducive to us as 99 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: parents and our children of calm, then we've got a 100 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: war zone going on in our own home. And I've 101 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 1: always said this, healthy parents mind, healthier kids, right because 102 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: they're looking to us. They're looking to us to be 103 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: able to give them that reassurance, to be able to 104 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: give them that guidance, to be able to be put 105 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: underneath our wings because we protect our kids, right, and 106 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: there are times when we do feel vulnerable most times right, 107 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: and being courageous is walking and carrying on every day 108 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: even though you feel vulnerable and you feel helpless, and 109 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: you don't feel in control. So I ask you to 110 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: look at what do you feel in control of? What 111 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: can you control? Can you actually wake up and create 112 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: a routine that can be flexible enough to actually uphold 113 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: three staple meals a day that are healthy and a 114 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: couple of snacks that creates no blood sugar dick. So 115 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: kids are getting agitated and anxious. Can you create boundaries 116 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: in your home that allows you all to have a 117 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: bit of quiet time, that allows maybe an older sibling 118 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: to have some time in a bedroom that she shares 119 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: with a sibling and then give after her time the 120 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: other person time in that room. Can you create a 121 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: moment where you can communicate healthy with your partner and say, 122 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: I love you, but right now you're getting on my nerves. 123 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: I realized that I need a time out, like I 124 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: need just to be in my own bubble because there's 125 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: too much mom mom, mom, mom, mom. You know dad, dad, dad, 126 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: and I just I need a minute. I need a minute, 127 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: so you know, it full see us in a way 128 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: going through this pandemic, to look at the highlights of 129 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: things that have been problematic for probably quite a while. 130 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: And we've not been looking there because we've been distracted 131 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 1: by iPads and using them as emotional crutches or going 132 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: off to work, you know, and getting out and doing 133 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: other things, and we've never got enough time and we 134 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: just can't manage it. Now we're home. Now we're home. Well, 135 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: why are you talking about iPads? Can I ask you 136 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: a question? Because seriously, this is what happened. I've been 137 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: allowing my kids to have forty five minutes of tablet 138 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: time a day. I don't know if this is bad, 139 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: but it or entertainment. It's roadblocks, but yeah, but for entertainment, right, entertainment. 140 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: But here's the problem, all day long? When can we 141 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: have it? When can we have it? So I tried 142 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: to cert a time where I say, every day we're 143 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: gonna do a little only walk around the house at four, 144 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: and then at five you can have the tablets. But 145 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: then what's happening is there all day long? How long 146 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,479 Speaker 1: until five? Is it almost five? It's it's like created 147 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: like they're like psychotically looking for this iPad all the time. 148 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: And then last night I had like a moment. My 149 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: son has not been wanting to sleep in his own 150 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 1: room since I had a baby, so but he's been 151 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: wanting to come up. And before he went to bed, 152 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: I did like five rounds of meditation, and then he 153 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 1: still came up to my room and I like kind 154 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: of snapped at him and I said, Okay, if you 155 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: come in right now, then you don't get any tablet 156 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,839 Speaker 1: time tomorrow. And he had like a hysterical fit, and 157 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: like this is all happening. You know that you've got 158 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: you know, you've you've got a mixture of things right 159 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: going on right now. So you've got you've got right 160 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: now a blend, a mixture of a few things. So 161 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: you've got a five year old right now that's looking 162 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: for you to rea stability and consistency in his day, right, 163 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: So he was used to get in up and and 164 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: he'd have gone off to like a little you know, 165 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: little day cab, little school, what everyone's going to right 166 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: pre game, right doing what he was doing, right. He 167 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: was used to that. And then your older daughter, correct 168 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 1: your older daughters slate, so she would have been used 169 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,599 Speaker 1: to going to school. They would have been used to 170 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: a certain routine that kind of would have gone around 171 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: the cornerstones of school. Now that's changed, so they're looking 172 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: for the stability, the solid foundation at home. So the 173 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: way you support that is through a routine that's repetitive 174 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: because the repetition of that routine will create stability, and 175 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: with lace with mas, stability becomes less of those same 176 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,319 Speaker 1: questions because now they're reassured that when they wake up, 177 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 1: this is what's going to happen. So kids also in 178 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: that developmental age, asked those things. They if they have 179 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: a personality where they are more strong willed, more outspoken, 180 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: then they want to know more and be in control 181 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: of more of their day. So instead of them following 182 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: and just taking instruction, their temperaments are showing me your kids, 183 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: but they need to feel a part of the day, 184 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: and you need to include that. So in in the 185 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 1: evening before they go to bed, it's so get good 186 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: sleep because tomorrow, here's the download for the day. Right, 187 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: this is what we're going to be doing. And in 188 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: the morning they'll ask you the same question to reconfirm 189 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: that that is what's happening. Right. If you kind of 190 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: just wing it every day. They don't know where they're at, 191 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: and so they're looking for the want of a better word, 192 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: your leadership as a parent to guide them right. But 193 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: it's only through the consistency of showing in and stay 194 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: in firm with that that makes him feel stable and go, Okay, 195 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: I get it. This is what we're doing for the day, 196 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: and I'm a part of what that day is. So 197 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: you've got a five year old who has a temperament 198 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: that needs and shows me they need to be a 199 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 1: part of the day, not just told like, so, here's 200 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 1: what the routine is, right, and you said you wanted 201 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: to do what cruise right, Well, we'll definitely fit that 202 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: in after lunch and that's what we'll do. So you're 203 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,959 Speaker 1: hearing what he wants to do, what he needs to do. 204 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: You're so fitting in what he needs to do, which 205 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: is he's early learning right, and at the same time 206 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: you're letting him be a part of the day in 207 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: showing him how he is involved in his own day, 208 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: that creates more stability for him. However, here's your crush. 209 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: You've just had a newborn. Right meeting the needs and 210 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:01,559 Speaker 1: demands of a newborn if the priority right, So he's 211 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: now learning how to adapt to that transition, to that change. 212 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:11,199 Speaker 1: So the quicker, you can create a routine that is, right, 213 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,599 Speaker 1: we get up, we make our beds, we have breakfast, 214 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: we get dressed. Then we're gonna do some you know, 215 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: we're gonna do some learnings and school work. You set 216 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: and slay up with her work. Right, We're gonna have 217 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: to hold on there for a minute because it's now 218 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 1: time the dump seed and then we're gonna do this. 219 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 1: The repetition of that creates more of a staple foundation 220 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: for that age, and then you can entwine all the 221 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: off the cuff theme afternoons, fund things just because right, 222 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: and when it comes to technology, When it comes to technology, 223 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: you're looking at a regulated time on the on the 224 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: iPad that's entertaining for him at a time that's gonna 225 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: be can do sit for you because it allows you 226 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: to get something done with your with your youngest as well. 227 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: So whether it's whether it's a feed or whether it's 228 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: a moment that you get some work done because then 229 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: the baby's down for a nap. It creates that quiet time. 230 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: But also you now need the iPad for socialization and 231 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: for educational purposes as well. Right, so there are things 232 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: that you need to respect. Now the iPad gets used 233 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 1: not as the old crutch, but more a case of right, 234 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: this is so entertaining, that's for education, and this is 235 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: so we can talk to his little buddies or she 236 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: can talk to her friends. Right, and get a good 237 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: forty minutes of talking about whatever I want talk about? 238 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: Quick question now general. But so now I've gotten myself 239 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: into a little bit of a predicament here because last 240 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: night I said, okay, well you're not getting iPad. You're 241 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 1: not getting your iPad time tomorrow because I have done 242 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: the schedule. They know their days. They but what's gonna 243 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: happen now at the four o'clock when Slate is allowed 244 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: to have her iPad time cruise? I took it away 245 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: last night. I said, it's not happening tomorrow. But why 246 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: why did you take it away? Because we had made 247 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: a deal that he was gonna stay in his own 248 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: room if I did five andies, which is five meditations, 249 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: and then he didn't and he came up, and he 250 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: didn't come up and say like he just like came 251 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 1: up and was like yelling, I'm not saying in my 252 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: own mom like, I need to be in here. I 253 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: have to be in here, And I said, cruise. If 254 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: you keep yelling, then you're not gonna get iPad time tomorrow. 255 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: So I'm probably doing this wrong. And maybe I didn't 256 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: think even saying that nice of a tone. And he said, 257 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: I don't care. And then he laid down like on 258 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: the little you know, he laid down with us and 259 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: slept with us. And then this morning he woke up 260 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 1: and said, I don't get iPad time, right, And I 261 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: said no, But that was on like a I didn't 262 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: want to like go back on my word. But now 263 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is gonna be there's gonna be terrible 264 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: this afternoon because in it's going to get it. He's 265 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 1: going to be a whole disaster. Here's what you do. 266 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: So here's what you do. Follow through on that, and 267 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: he don't get his he don't get his time. But 268 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: this is what you are going to do because the 269 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: biggest scheme of it, you kind of you're better off 270 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: to follow through because he actually brought it up to you. 271 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: The reality is this is that he's learning to have 272 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 1: to go through a space of transition. Right. Remember he 273 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: was the youngest and now you've got self right, so 274 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: he's learning that as well. Certainly, what five weeks ago, congratulations, 275 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: seven weeks now then we congratulations. So you know you're 276 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: you're going through that newness there already right by the way, 277 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 1: you look bloody amazing. Hello, you look fantastic, So you're 278 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: going through that new transition right. So now is the 279 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 1: time to be able to say to him, Look, I 280 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 1: know you're saying you want to be in my room, 281 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: and I know that it's different because you know now 282 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 1: we're looking after our beautiful baby, and you know there's 283 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: more things that I need to do as well. However, 284 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: you are a big boy. You can sleep in your 285 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 1: own room. By you telling me you can't, okay, is 286 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 1: you creating trouble that's not necessary? And Mommy doesn't want 287 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 1: to be given out discipline and consequences because you're not listening. 288 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 1: I do want you to say in your bed. You're 289 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: more than capable of being able to do that. And 290 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,360 Speaker 1: what I would say to you is that it will 291 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 1: be important to create a bit time routine that's consistent, 292 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: that isn't five men. You don't need five meditations. You're 293 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: just stalling to keep you there. Longer and I'm reading 294 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: two books. Do a gratitude for the day, kiss him 295 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: good night and say I'll see him, I'll see you tomorrow. Okay, 296 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: and assume is he comes into your room, do the 297 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 1: same in bed technique. Okay. There are three points to that, 298 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: and here they are A, B and C. Once you've 299 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 1: kissed him good night and you've said tomorrow, this is 300 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 1: the great day. This isn't gonna do. This is why 301 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: you need to get the sleep stay in bed technique. 302 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: The first time he comes out and he comes into 303 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: your space wherever there is right, So if he's calling you, 304 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,439 Speaker 1: you don't go in right because he'll come out if 305 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: you need you. He'll come out and you'll say to him, 306 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: he's bedtime, darling, and you're taken by the hand and 307 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: you're a steam back into the bed. And the second 308 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: time he comes out, you say bedtime, take him back 309 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: into his bed. And the third time you say absolutely nothing, 310 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: and you take him back into bed. And beyond that 311 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,679 Speaker 1: you do exactly set three. Okay, until he's back in 312 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 1: his bed. If you lose it with him, you've still 313 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 1: given him what you wanted, which is contact and communication. 314 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: So he needs to learn the difference night and day, 315 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: the transition, and not being rewarded for any conversation because 316 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: they'll take an argument with you and be combative just 317 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,199 Speaker 1: because he's up and he's having a conversation, even if 318 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 1: it's a negative one. So it's teaching him to go 319 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: back to bed and to self soon and to be 320 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: able to be comfortable in his own bedroom, in his 321 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 1: own bed and learning that particular life skill. And you 322 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: do it by using that technique. It keeps you composed 323 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: and not losing your temper. It teaches him that day's 324 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,879 Speaker 1: day and night is nighttime, right, and it also leaves 325 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 1: you to be in a space of being able to 326 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: be more reframed right because at the end of the day, 327 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 1: you're tired as well. You've had a full day. You're 328 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: looking after you know, and meeting the needs and demands 329 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:54,719 Speaker 1: of a newborn as well as you know, a tween 330 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: ager for the want of a better words, right, and 331 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: the toddler you know is just coming up that you 332 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: know totally is so it will not leave you in 333 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 1: a place of going too. I'm going to take the 334 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: iPad away because the truth of the matter is is 335 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:14,439 Speaker 1: you do need it for educational reasons socialization and for 336 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: a little bit of entertainment that will create the quiet 337 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: time that you all will need, you know, because that 338 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 1: allows that allows another important thing that needs to happen, 339 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:30,040 Speaker 1: and that's boundaries, invisible boundaries. We need invisible boundaries to 340 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 1: have healthy relationships with our children, with our partners, with 341 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: our coworkers. You know, the boundaries that are kept that 342 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: allow us to assert ourselves with respect for what others 343 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: need as well. So you know that happens for not 344 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: just siblings who need a time out from each other 345 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: and a bit of quiet time, but for us to 346 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: be able to have quiet time ourselves to sustain what 347 00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 1: we're doing, and creating those boundary lines allow asked to 348 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 1: be able to maybe just have a monment to ourselves, 349 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,439 Speaker 1: just some peace and some quiet. Um. It allows us 350 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 1: to separate our body physically from our children. So whether 351 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 1: they're sharing, whether parents out there are sharing bedrooms with 352 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: their kids or separately they have their own rooms. It 353 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: gives them a time to go in their rooms, to 354 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: have their own space in their own rooms, and to 355 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: do something they might want to enjoy, just as quiet time. 356 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: You know. It's like at this stage you would say 357 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: to them. We're all being in our own bubble right now, 358 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,640 Speaker 1: Right right now, mom is going to be in her 359 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: own bubble to do the things that mommy needs to 360 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: do to have a bit of peace and quiet her time. 361 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: You're going to choose to do your peace and quiet 362 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: because you're gonna use your iPad and be entertained with 363 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 1: a game that you're going to play for forty minutes, 364 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: you know, forty five minutes, right and your sister is 365 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: going to go and do this. And to be honest 366 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: with you, you need it with your partner as well, 367 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, because you know you're all at home, you're 368 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: busy trying to get work done. You know you've got 369 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: to coincide with each other. And now, when those appointments happen, 370 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,880 Speaker 1: when those meetings happen, when your deadlines are and you're 371 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,160 Speaker 1: gonna be able to work as a tag team. So again, 372 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 1: the pandemic has highlighted the importance of what I work 373 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: with families with all the time. Healthy boundaries, communication and 374 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 1: not being afraid to be able to turn around and 375 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 1: say exactly how you feel like you made be feeling 376 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 1: really anxious. You may have been to a place where 377 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,239 Speaker 1: you feel this is great one minute, and now I 378 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 1: feel hormonally this way and I needed to feel up 379 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: and down, feel and down. I need to be able 380 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: to saying, do I have feel a bit all sorts 381 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: so I feel quite quite there? I feel a bit foggy, 382 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,119 Speaker 1: you know, And to be able to communicate that to 383 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: your partner, can empathize and support what do you need 384 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: right now? What can I do for you right now? 385 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,919 Speaker 1: And vi sub versa or the moments when you just 386 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: feel like I love you, but right now you're getting 387 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: on my nerves. I need any fifteen minutes just to myself, 388 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,239 Speaker 1: you know. I just I need a breath because I'm 389 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: holding my breath. I need to breathe in creating this 390 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: structure and doing that, I've noticed and I'm on like 391 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: a chat with all my mom friends where we like 392 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 1: bent or to say what's happening that's working for us? 393 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: Are those types of things. But something that has occurred 394 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 1: to all of us, to every parent, is when your 395 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: kids like you've you've done all the things you've done school, 396 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: you've had fun, you've had play time, you've gotten some 397 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: fresh air, they've had the type of time, and then 398 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: it's like I'm bored what next? Good because that space 399 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,879 Speaker 1: between I'm bored and actually coming up with something phenomenal 400 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,119 Speaker 1: is the creative space. OK. So you're kids in that moment, like, 401 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: how do you like? I'm always like, there isn't it. 402 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 1: There's no board, there's only boring people like because I 403 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: think my parents said that to me again. You know, 404 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: there's this need to have to fill in every gap, 405 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 1: this need to have to do that. So you do 406 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 1: it again, like those parents that say to me, I've 407 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 1: done it all. There's nothing else to do. There's always 408 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: something to do. What do you mean you've done it all? Well? 409 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: Did you give yourself a break? Did you take five minutes? 410 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: I've done it all. I've read every book. I've done 411 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: it for everything, I've read all of this. How have 412 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 1: you how I haven't even done that? How you know? 413 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 1: And I get this more than most, So how have 414 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: you done every book? Everything? To play again? Then let 415 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 1: them play the same book again. It's like it's like 416 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 1: we run through it all and then say, okay, so 417 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 1: now we need something new. Well, how many of you 418 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: cook and have been cooking something new over the last 419 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: four weeks. It's the same mentality when we sit down 420 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,880 Speaker 1: with our kids and say they won't need Well, yeah, 421 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: because you made them try the abruptly once and then 422 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 1: you didn't serve it to him ever again, and then 423 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 1: you went on to something else. So play shoots and 424 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: ladders again. I don't want to one board. Okay, Well, 425 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: then you go and tide to your room. No, I 426 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: don't want to tide in my room. Okay, Well, then 427 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: do some color in. Listen on my tweet Joe underscore Frost. 428 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: I have ideas for teenagers and for um and for 429 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: toddlers as well for parents. But when your kid just 430 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: looks at you and comes over to you and says 431 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 1: I am bored, they sit with that, be content to 432 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: just say, Okay, you feel like you don't know what 433 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 1: to do right now with yourself. You don't know how 434 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 1: to be productive. But why don't you just sit with 435 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,119 Speaker 1: that and think with that for a moment, and maybe 436 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 1: you'll think of an idea of something you might want 437 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 1: to do next. Here are a few suggestions you might 438 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 1: want to do that, but if not, then think of something. 439 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 1: It's like the pressure for parents to feel like they 440 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 1: have to be the the enter, playing up the property, 441 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 1: up the ship. That be okay with that they've got 442 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: two legs, they've got two arms, they've got a brain. 443 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 1: We don't watch it out. I know, I know, I 444 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 1: know because I'm so used to. As you know, we 445 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 1: we have gymnastics on Thursdays and this on this day, 446 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: and we're always going because all those families, all those 447 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:19,400 Speaker 1: families that also overscheduled and now saying, oh my god, 448 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 1: I've got free time. Um, what do we do? Let 449 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: your kids sit on the sofa and think about that. Okay, 450 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: validate what they're saying. I feel bored. So you're saying 451 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: that you don't really know what to do next, You 452 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: don't know what you want to concentrate or focus on next. 453 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 1: Why do you just sit with that? That's okay that 454 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 1: you feel that way. Just sit with that. You don't 455 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: want to put the energy into something in particular, well, 456 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: then just sit and think about what you do want 457 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: to put your energy into. Do you know how many 458 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: houses I have gone into. I have traveled forty eight 459 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: states of this country. I have never seen a country 460 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 1: so overpopulated with plastic toys and f A schwaps then 461 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,959 Speaker 1: I have seen in this country like the amount of 462 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 1: toys and gains and arts and crafts and playrooms and 463 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: we can't think of something to do sit with that simply. 464 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,239 Speaker 1: And then as a parent, how do you not like 465 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: lose your pace, like because what will happen is like, well, well, 466 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: you know, I'll try to sit in it for a 467 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 1: little bit. And then too, how did that ever lose 468 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 1: your patients? Like what's the you don't? You don't You're 469 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: not perfect. You don't You're not perfect. No parents doesn't 470 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: ever not lose their patients because no parent is perfect. 471 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: Because we learn patients and how to grow that great 472 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 1: big fat bag of patients on the job, right, you know, 473 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 1: raising kids, you know you you learn how to have 474 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:06,159 Speaker 1: more patients through the experience. Um again, I think it 475 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 1: allows you to be able to check in with yourself, 476 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,840 Speaker 1: the need for you to have things a certain way 477 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: and for kids just to show up a certain way 478 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: and to listen and be like little robots. Like kids 479 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 1: are not going to do that. They're going through the 480 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: same stuff we're going through right now. They're gonna wake 481 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 1: up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes they're 482 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: going to feed up the energy of their own parents. 483 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 1: If their own parents right now are having a difficult time. 484 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: UM with handling the circumstances of not being out. I 485 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,960 Speaker 1: do want to say the importance though, of energetic parenting. 486 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: In other words, it's all about energy. If if we 487 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: do not move enough, they're not only do we create 488 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: less oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine up here to keep us healthy, 489 00:28:56,160 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: but then we become fidgety and agitated and combative, and 490 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: we squabble with our siblings and we answer back with 491 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: our parents because we're not shifting and moving the energy 492 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 1: of how mentally we may be feeling. So it's so 493 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: important not just to get out for that one hour 494 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: of brisk walking nature looking togetherness with respecting social distance, 495 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: but also to do more at home as well. You've 496 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 1: got to be doing more at home. So whether you're 497 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: blasting up the music and they're dancing to mohana, or 498 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: whether you know they've got some um online fitness class 499 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: for the kids to do and they're watching the telling 500 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: and they're doing the jumping Jackson, they're doing it. Well 501 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: you know, um, you know they've got to do more 502 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: than just that hour. But if you have a multiple kids, 503 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 1: so like what will happen? As you know, I have 504 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 1: a stepdaughter as well who's eleven, so like Isabella and 505 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: Slate will be like thrilled to be doing the video 506 00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: you know or whomever it may be, and then Cruisers 507 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: like I don't want to do it. Do you then 508 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 1: force the child that doesn't want to do it to 509 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: do it because at that age, because at that age, 510 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: I do believe you know, if you look at individually 511 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,719 Speaker 1: your ages, your seven year old is probably looking up 512 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: to your eleven year old and she'll be encouraged and 513 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 1: motivated by the eleven year old to do it, so 514 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 1: they'll probably be doing it together. But that gives you 515 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 1: a moment to actually focus with Cruise to do his 516 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 1: early learning, so concentrating on his phonics and he shapes, 517 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: you know, and scavenger hunts at home and reading time 518 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: and his language especially. The baby will be seeking or 519 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 1: beside you, and then you can have that focus concentration 520 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 1: with Cruise and do that with him whilst the other 521 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 1: two are watching and taking lead from one of the 522 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: fitness instructors doing that like and if you heard but 523 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 1: you know, Joe Wicks is our national British leading all 524 00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: the kids through PEE. He's had millions of followers around 525 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: the world now watching him. Um and you can download 526 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: him on YouTube and he's a great he's you know, 527 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: he's really fun and great for the kids and it 528 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: gets the moving, you know. So we've got lots of 529 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: those going on as well with fitness instructors online in 530 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: the US as well. So you know, there are moments 531 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: to be able to recognize that, I don't force something 532 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 1: where you're going to create, um more pandemonium, but at 533 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: the end of the day, recognize that that may be 534 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 1: the opportunity to actually do some focused work with your 535 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: five year old so that you are maybe just reading 536 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 1: a book together, you know, because then you can go 537 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: through words in the book what they mean and things 538 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: like that, you know, and what do you recommend when 539 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: siblings are you know, because we all are together the 540 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 1: same way you may get annoyed at your husband when 541 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: your siblings are starting to like bait with one another. Yeah, 542 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: it recognized is it a challenge that was going to 543 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: come anyway, regardless of pandemic? Right, So a lot of 544 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: families said, oh, it's because of the pandemic. What maybe? 545 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, probably not. But was it a little highlight 546 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 1: a pen because actually they were squabbling before it all happened. 547 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: You know, and this one is a little bit more 548 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 1: dominating in this one. Don't like to share, and this 549 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 1: one always has to be their way. So you know, 550 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: I'll give a wide birth of some of those things 551 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: happening um due to pandemic circumstances. But what I'm seeing 552 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: now is a lot of parental challenges that people want 553 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: to know how to change because they're at home and 554 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: now they're seeing it. So whatever that circumstances, get to 555 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: the bottom of it and do what I use. I 556 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,480 Speaker 1: just call it S O S. It's my S O 557 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 1: S technique. I step in to the circumstance. I observe 558 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: what's going on here, who's doing what? I need to 559 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,680 Speaker 1: listen to both sides. I need to assess what situation 560 00:32:55,760 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 1: I mean. And so you stepping observe, and you step out, 561 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: and then you step back in with decisive action. So 562 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 1: when you walk into a situation, you're looking at it. 563 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,600 Speaker 1: So what's going on, who's crying, who got hurt, who's 564 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: got the last toy, who's holding who's got a whack 565 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: over the head with the book, Who's now like this? 566 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 1: While you've walked in the room, observed what's going on 567 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: and who's doing what, And who's you know, crying anarchy? Right, 568 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 1: and who's the quiet one? Listen to both sides when 569 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: you step back in so that you can make a decision, 570 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: because it's either about teaching them to share, or it's 571 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 1: about taking terms, or it's about somebody recognizing that they've 572 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: been too domineering and they won't share and give up, 573 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:47,240 Speaker 1: and then you can allocate accordingly how to create better resolve. 574 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 1: Now you would expect that to happen from around seven, 575 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: eight and onwards by themselves only if at cruises age 576 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,760 Speaker 1: around five, you start to set the example as a parent. 577 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: So what's happening here? Well, I think one at a time, 578 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,400 Speaker 1: one at a time, right, what's going on? Hold on 579 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,840 Speaker 1: a minute, let cruse finish and then you can talk right, okay, 580 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: what's going on? And then from there you can make 581 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 1: a decision and each child will feel heard that they've 582 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: been able to share with you what is actually went on, 583 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 1: And then you get as a parent to be able 584 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,279 Speaker 1: to set the example of how you resolve the situation. 585 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 1: The more compass of that circumstance. Why is it important 586 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,480 Speaker 1: to share? And how you know? And how are we 587 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,320 Speaker 1: going to do that? And what are we going to 588 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 1: put in place to regulate that? Right? Um, again, we 589 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,040 Speaker 1: have to be more mindful as well. If a child 590 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,279 Speaker 1: didn't necessarily show that behavior before, are they picking up 591 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: on anything that they're feeling from us? Or is it 592 00:34:55,040 --> 00:35:00,840 Speaker 1: because um, you know emotionally it may there be maybe 593 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,200 Speaker 1: their way to either be more quiet or actually now 594 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,399 Speaker 1: to come out a little bit more fight or flight. Right. So, 595 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 1: as adults, when we first heard of all this several 596 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 1: weeks ago, and we were seeing what was happening in Europe, 597 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: and we were hearing of what was going on here 598 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 1: in the mixed messages and the inconsistency, and we're all 599 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 1: up in arms as family's going, what's going on? Are 600 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna go lockdown, We're gonna plain what's happening people time? 601 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,360 Speaker 1: You know, we went in to fight or flight, right, 602 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 1: We wanted to fight off flight or frozen delusion. This 603 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:35,000 Speaker 1: is surreal, This can't be happening, right, the immediate human 604 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:42,399 Speaker 1: response to a threat. Now we're in this space of adjustment. 605 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: So we now realized that, okay, we're in this for 606 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,959 Speaker 1: a bit. Now we've got past that, We've we've got 607 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,840 Speaker 1: past the moment of the initial adrenaline rush of threats, 608 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 1: and now we're trying to create some normalcy with the 609 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,040 Speaker 1: circule stances that we have at hand. And what is 610 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,360 Speaker 1: that teaching us inwardly about what we need to refine, 611 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: let go of, or defer right And from that space 612 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: we will then hopefully move on to new I hope 613 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 1: profound measures of what truly is important right now in 614 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:31,120 Speaker 1: our lives, because this is shaping that. This is not 615 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 1: to minimize the pandemic by any stretch of imagination, but 616 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 1: I do hope that we profoundly and I said this 617 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:45,440 Speaker 1: on my Twitter symbolically can be like the hungry caterpillar. 618 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 1: You know, we might eat a little bit too much. 619 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 1: We're definitely cocooned indoors. But I hope the life lessons 620 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: and the experience of this we're not for We're not 621 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 1: in vain, for all of those frontliners that are doing 622 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,880 Speaker 1: the work they're doing and for those that have lost 623 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:08,280 Speaker 1: that there is a breakthrough in humanity in understanding what's 624 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,759 Speaker 1: important for us as family, what's important with respects to 625 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 1: our communities, and how we all strike with more love, 626 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:22,840 Speaker 1: compassion and empathy as a country, as a world, because 627 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,319 Speaker 1: that to me feels like mother natures just puts on 628 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,919 Speaker 1: the time out, just puts on the noise step, right, 629 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 1: you know, And how do you start to like manage 630 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 1: their expectations, like, for example, like summer kids, you know, 631 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,360 Speaker 1: my kids are really looking forward to summer. They have 632 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: this like two week drama camp that they do that 633 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 1: they're so excited about, and like they'll be like, do 634 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: you think it's gonna happen? Mom? Like, you know, are 635 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 1: we gonna be able to do this? And it's not. 636 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: It's not. Do you know that? I know that? Do 637 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 1: you know that it's not? It's not. I think there's 638 00:37:56,520 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 1: a danger. I think there's a danger in I think 639 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,320 Speaker 1: there's a danger in leading children to think something's going 640 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: to because they can sense it. Well. You know, it's 641 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 1: like when you say, well, maybe kids want they want 642 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,600 Speaker 1: what we want right now from government. Truthfully, they want 643 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 1: what we want. We want answers, we want leadership, we 644 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 1: want we want more confidence. You know, um, because as 645 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 1: families were uncertain about our jobs, our security, how we're 646 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: going to feed our families, and for those of us 647 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: that are are fortunate and in different positions to those 648 00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,399 Speaker 1: that are vulnerable, you know, we want to be able 649 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: to look at how we can provide public service, or 650 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: what can we do in our neighborhood or in our community, 651 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: or in little ways that we do like this conversation 652 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 1: that we're having now, to be able to reach out 653 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,280 Speaker 1: to the mass of families, to be able to bring 654 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 1: some insightful information to them. Um and I think it 655 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 1: can be damaging when we said, well, we'll have to see, 656 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: we'll have to I know right now there's no some 657 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 1: accoun there is no way that there can be a 658 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:07,800 Speaker 1: summer camp. So I feel like some things we don't sugarcoat, 659 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,760 Speaker 1: but it's all in our delivery. We have to tell 660 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,640 Speaker 1: our kids the truth about certain things. You know, COVID 661 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: nineteen and the virus will be explained based on age, 662 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:27,840 Speaker 1: appropriateness and recoursing or confirming information that they know. What 663 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 1: do you know about it? That's the first question I 664 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 1: asked my grandson. I'm looking after him right now with 665 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,040 Speaker 1: my husband. He's five and a half. He started to 666 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: speak about it as I was picking him up in 667 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,640 Speaker 1: the car, and I turned around and I said, tell 668 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,600 Speaker 1: me what you know about the coronavirus. I needed no 669 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 1: first and foremost, what he'd been told a little bit 670 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:50,279 Speaker 1: of course correcting with that information, but it was to 671 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 1: create not panic right through my delivery of the information 672 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,480 Speaker 1: that was given. And for anybody wanting to know more 673 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,319 Speaker 1: about that, just go to Joan's for Frost, because there's 674 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,040 Speaker 1: a pinned post already on my Twitter with how to 675 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 1: talk to kids based on their age and what they 676 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,600 Speaker 1: do know. But the reality is is some things we 677 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 1: know they're not going to be open because the sensible 678 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 1: thing right now, under the circumstances with the number today 679 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 1: of Americans who have passed away, there's no way it's unsafe. 680 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:30,360 Speaker 1: So the conversation is one where we're not apologetic, but 681 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,920 Speaker 1: we are with empathy to how they may feel about it. 682 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: You know, so, Mom, what about some account? I mean 683 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,399 Speaker 1: a we're gonna go? Are we gonna go? Darling? There 684 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:43,160 Speaker 1: won't be some account. There won't be some account this 685 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:47,919 Speaker 1: year unfortunately. Oh Mom, I feel really bad about that, 686 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 1: you know. I'm sure you do, Darling, So do I? Why? 687 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 1: Because I really love that you love going. It's validating 688 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 1: how they feel. Your delivery is soft and empathetic, but 689 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:03,239 Speaker 1: you're still being truthful. You're still being truthful. Well why 690 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 1: is that? Because it would be unsafe for us or 691 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 1: to come together a massive people. You know, like it 692 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 1: sounds safe right now that we all go out and 693 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 1: that's why we go out and we're in our bubble 694 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 1: and the socialists from other people right now at this 695 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,880 Speaker 1: particular time in the summer, it would be dangerous for 696 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,640 Speaker 1: all the children to get together and being some account 697 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 1: because of the virus. You know. So there's a very 698 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,560 Speaker 1: strong factual information that you're delivering, but in how you're 699 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:36,120 Speaker 1: delivering it, it's empathetic, it's connecting, it's validating, and your 700 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:49,399 Speaker 1: children are feeling hurt. You know what, what would you say, 701 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,319 Speaker 1: like as the worst parenting mistake you can actually make 702 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,319 Speaker 1: with your kids right now? And like how do you 703 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 1: how do you flip it? If it's something you know, 704 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 1: like for those of us who I mean, we have 705 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,680 Speaker 1: so much mom guilt and we put so much pressure 706 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,640 Speaker 1: on ourselves or whatever it may be. Car, I don't 707 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,160 Speaker 1: even want to fight what mistakes because I feel like 708 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,800 Speaker 1: I feel like when parents make a choice to do something, 709 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,200 Speaker 1: they learned from it, and you know that's okay. I 710 00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 1: would say, don't answer something you don't know. That's a 711 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 1: really good one. Don't answer something you don't know. We're 712 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:29,520 Speaker 1: okay with not knowing. You know. My grandson asked me, 713 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,120 Speaker 1: where will this? When will this all stop? I said, 714 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,319 Speaker 1: I don't know. I actually don't know. Well, when will 715 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 1: you know? I said, Well, I said, oh no, I said, 716 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 1: when I hear from people on the news that I'm 717 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 1: looking at through my phone, and I'll get to start 718 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,359 Speaker 1: to have a look at those different opinions and then 719 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,000 Speaker 1: decide from their eli with what the scientists are saying. 720 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:56,399 Speaker 1: And to see what you know, um, those that are 721 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,319 Speaker 1: looking at the virus. I said, I actually don't have 722 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: the answer for you, because I don't know either. You 723 00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,799 Speaker 1: have to be comfortable with not knowing, you know, And 724 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,600 Speaker 1: I know there's a difference in what you tell your 725 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 1: kids right so that you're not creating panic and stress 726 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,239 Speaker 1: and anxiety. What young kids don't need to know, they 727 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 1: don't need to know. Regulate what they're hearing, Regulate what 728 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:26,200 Speaker 1: they're watching. Know that they're listening where you think they're playing, 729 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,520 Speaker 1: and they're just on the floor because they want to 730 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,680 Speaker 1: be near you, and they're playing somewhere between the living 731 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,920 Speaker 1: room and the kitchen. They're hearing everything. They're not going 732 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,520 Speaker 1: to escape that and to some degree, they are going 733 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:46,399 Speaker 1: to be the silent witnesses of this circumstance because none 734 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: of us professionals know what the impact will be because 735 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,399 Speaker 1: there's a moving target right now, but in a long 736 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,160 Speaker 1: we're going to be in lockdown four. What the repercussions 737 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: of that is going to mean if they're you know, 738 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:04,080 Speaker 1: the likely the likely chance of its spiking again is 739 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,200 Speaker 1: going to happen. We've seen that already in history. We've 740 00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 1: seen the doctors and the scientists say as such. So 741 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,880 Speaker 1: you know, it's going to not just have us in 742 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:19,719 Speaker 1: the immediate of recognizing how we stay present and mindful 743 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:26,400 Speaker 1: of enjoying the day alongside this pandemic, but what it 744 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,439 Speaker 1: means for us in the steps that we take in 745 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:33,479 Speaker 1: the several months ahead, what does that summon me and 746 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 1: what does then the autumn mean once we start coming 747 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,840 Speaker 1: into fall and winter again, because the likely chances we 748 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,600 Speaker 1: could see a spike again, you know. So you know, 749 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,800 Speaker 1: we're also thinking ahead as parents and then thinking where 750 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,399 Speaker 1: we are maybe for the summer. Now we've got through 751 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,320 Speaker 1: spring break. But the one thing that we can only 752 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,920 Speaker 1: do that's in our control is to focus on today 753 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,400 Speaker 1: and what that today looks like and to stay present 754 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:06,719 Speaker 1: because if we then start to but we then start 755 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,680 Speaker 1: to run away with our thoughts of what could be, 756 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: of what court be, and it's all hypothetical. Um, we 757 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:16,960 Speaker 1: create I think more mental harm for ourselves because that 758 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,839 Speaker 1: leads to more worry and anxiety, and those thoughts then 759 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:25,279 Speaker 1: manifest themselves and how we feel physically. UM. So it's 760 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:31,120 Speaker 1: important for family wellness. I would say to yes, do 761 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,120 Speaker 1: what you're doing. You've already said meditate for parents to 762 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:36,960 Speaker 1: be able to just breathe, even if it's just a 763 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,719 Speaker 1: breathing exercise right now, laying on the bed, placing your 764 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,720 Speaker 1: palm of your hands over your tummy and just breathing 765 00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: through your diaphragm so that you are breathing correctly and 766 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,319 Speaker 1: letting go and excel in and letting go. If it's meditation, 767 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,319 Speaker 1: I love headspace. I use it, my husband uses it. 768 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,759 Speaker 1: We love it. Um. If it's you know, walking through 769 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,879 Speaker 1: with somebody, if it's a group medical pation. I did 770 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,840 Speaker 1: that the other day. I loved it. It It was brilliant 771 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,240 Speaker 1: coming together with others and doing it with the family. 772 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:12,360 Speaker 1: The ritual of staying focus with what we are grateful for, 773 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,640 Speaker 1: I think brings a lot of inner happiness. So to 774 00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 1: come together as a ritual every morning and just hold 775 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,800 Speaker 1: hands today, what are we grateful for? What are we 776 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:26,120 Speaker 1: truly grateful for? I think really keeps us focused in 777 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,239 Speaker 1: a nice space considering with what we're dealing with on 778 00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:37,239 Speaker 1: the outside. Right, And it's about creating through our rituals 779 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:42,400 Speaker 1: and our practices and energy in our home that truly 780 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:46,239 Speaker 1: becomes our sanctuary because this is where we're spending the 781 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,560 Speaker 1: most time, you know, it is where we're spending our 782 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:55,600 Speaker 1: most time. So the gratitude, the meditation, the importance of 783 00:46:55,680 --> 00:47:01,000 Speaker 1: the education. Right, But realistically, I don't want parents to 784 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,719 Speaker 1: beat themselves up. I want them to be realistic and 785 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:10,279 Speaker 1: not polarized in their approach. Okay, we're not perfect, and 786 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,319 Speaker 1: if we can't learn in these times to let go 787 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,960 Speaker 1: and surrender to the things that we're not brilliant at, 788 00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 1: then we have to look at what that means for ourselves. 789 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,040 Speaker 1: You know, what does that? What does that really mean? Well, 790 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 1: it's it becomes about us, It becomes about our ego, 791 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:31,319 Speaker 1: our insecurity right to keep moving forward, because that's the 792 00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:36,080 Speaker 1: courageous that's the courageous skill that I'd love to to 793 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:40,680 Speaker 1: teach any kid. Right that through this endurance and this 794 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:46,920 Speaker 1: perseverance of something that is so catastrophic, your children learn 795 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:52,360 Speaker 1: that vulnerability is strength. That you get up every morning 796 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,439 Speaker 1: and you well, actually I can see, and you make 797 00:47:55,520 --> 00:48:00,360 Speaker 1: your bed your bed right, your bed is made. We 798 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,759 Speaker 1: get up and we get productive. We get up, we 799 00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,560 Speaker 1: make our beds. Right, We got to sit down and 800 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,600 Speaker 1: we have breakfast. We get ourselves stressed because another task, 801 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,960 Speaker 1: and we've made our beds, and now we'll move on 802 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,879 Speaker 1: and we do this and for older kids, will get 803 00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,839 Speaker 1: our jaws done, and we'll be productive during the day 804 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,480 Speaker 1: because it's keeping ourselves busy, and we're all engaging something 805 00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,280 Speaker 1: together as a family. And we'll all do things separately 806 00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,600 Speaker 1: as well, because we all need to have our own 807 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,960 Speaker 1: time as well, and we'll meet that didn't need the 808 00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:31,760 Speaker 1: needs and demands of our youngest right are you born, 809 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:35,040 Speaker 1: our first infant years, But at the same time, will 810 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:38,760 Speaker 1: allow our children to give them the space to breathe 811 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,800 Speaker 1: themselves and to feel and to sit and be okay 812 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,319 Speaker 1: with that. And I think, like I've noticed that when 813 00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,800 Speaker 1: this all first started, I was super anxious, like beyond 814 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,959 Speaker 1: and I was trying to hold it in and hide 815 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 1: it from them, and then they started like almost internalizing 816 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,720 Speaker 1: it and thinking it was something else. And the second 817 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 1: that I said to them, hey, you guys, like I'm sorry, 818 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,520 Speaker 1: Like mommy is like a little bit anxious right now 819 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,879 Speaker 1: because I'm trying to do a bunch of things at 820 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,919 Speaker 1: once and I'm sorry if you feel that, and blah 821 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,000 Speaker 1: blah blah, and I'm sorry, you know, I just okay, mommy, 822 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,280 Speaker 1: they didn't even care. So that's that's like there's that's okay, 823 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:21,080 Speaker 1: momm they doing this, That's okay, mommy. Yeah, they're just 824 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,239 Speaker 1: like you know. Or there was one day that I 825 00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,680 Speaker 1: was like, you guys, you know, I just I want 826 00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 1: to tell you I love you and I'm thinking about you, 827 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,840 Speaker 1: like are you missing your friends? Is there something you 828 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,719 Speaker 1: want to do? And they're like, you know what, No, 829 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,640 Speaker 1: we feel really good, and like in my mind I 830 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:40,120 Speaker 1: had already decided that they weren't. Yeah, Like again becomes 831 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,399 Speaker 1: the projection of of how we are. And so it's 832 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 1: really important as parents to be able to just check 833 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:51,320 Speaker 1: him with yourself. Um. And and the thing is is 834 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,960 Speaker 1: that kids feel they feel that energy. It's like when 835 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,120 Speaker 1: you say it's like when you try that, no, mom 836 00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,880 Speaker 1: is fine. I'm seeing it when you're not. Remember, they 837 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,080 Speaker 1: have to rely on those skills when they were born, 838 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:07,279 Speaker 1: you know, so they feel that so it's okay to 839 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:11,320 Speaker 1: some money feels a little bit anxious, So what's that? Well, 840 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,359 Speaker 1: you know what I'm feeling these things, and you can 841 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,600 Speaker 1: talk about those signs and symptoms. And at the end 842 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,000 Speaker 1: of the day, you're also teaching them to check in 843 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:24,319 Speaker 1: with themselves as well. But know the difference when you 844 00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:28,359 Speaker 1: know no, there's a very fine line. But only when 845 00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:34,440 Speaker 1: you spend enough time and real detail in watching your children. 846 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 1: This is a great opportunity right now. What I'm going 847 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: to tell you about, it's the families to learn to 848 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 1: not be in everything all the time. Sit back. I 849 00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,719 Speaker 1: feel like you have to be in everything all the 850 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,719 Speaker 1: time because a lot of parents say to me, oh, 851 00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,920 Speaker 1: my kids just following me around, Mary and little Lamb 852 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 1: follow me around, following me around. They want to be 853 00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,480 Speaker 1: playing right in front of me, which is fine, but 854 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,160 Speaker 1: they're just right there, right there, right there, all the time. 855 00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:02,200 Speaker 1: At the moment you'd be understand it at mere, I'm here, 856 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 1: I'm going nowhere, I'm here, But you're finding the living 857 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,120 Speaker 1: room to play and I'm in the kitchen and I'm 858 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,960 Speaker 1: getting some stuff done. You're fine. I'm going to get 859 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,239 Speaker 1: some work done at the table here, and you're more 860 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,400 Speaker 1: than capable of being able to play what you are 861 00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,319 Speaker 1: in the living room. Don't feel like you have to 862 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:21,520 Speaker 1: be in everything all the time. Give your kids to space, 863 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:23,719 Speaker 1: to be able to play, to be able to read, 864 00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,960 Speaker 1: to be able to do their own things, even at 865 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 1: the toddly years. Because it also gives you an opportunity 866 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:33,120 Speaker 1: to observe, to be able to watch, to be able 867 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,799 Speaker 1: to see every little nook and cranny on their faces 868 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,640 Speaker 1: for the times when they are trying to pull a 869 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:43,200 Speaker 1: fast one over you and and pretend because that won't 870 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,120 Speaker 1: go away, because there's a pandemic kids and kids and 871 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,520 Speaker 1: they're still going through child development and the little things 872 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 1: that they do right. But it also allows you to 873 00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:55,520 Speaker 1: know when they need just a little bit more, you know, 874 00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:59,360 Speaker 1: a little bit more of an extra conversation or another book, 875 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,240 Speaker 1: just that a lot of extra kiss and that cuddle, 876 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, before you're putting them off to bed. You know, 877 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 1: and there's a fine line, but you only get to 878 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:13,320 Speaker 1: really intuitively know that when you spend time and you watch, 879 00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 1: because then you feel you don't only just know by 880 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,680 Speaker 1: looking at them and watching their body language, but you 881 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:23,160 Speaker 1: actually you feel it. You just know it, and it's instinct. 882 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,440 Speaker 1: That's your instinct. So I'm hoping it will give parents 883 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 1: an opportunity two because we all have it, but just 884 00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:36,120 Speaker 1: to just raise raise, raise our intuitiveness with our children 885 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,960 Speaker 1: so that we can use that every day every day 886 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,480 Speaker 1: with our kids. What we feel, what we know with conviction, 887 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,480 Speaker 1: because we just know it as their parents, because we're 888 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,080 Speaker 1: that in tune, because we can read their basis, because 889 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,240 Speaker 1: we see the slightest muscle move or a slight twinge 890 00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,359 Speaker 1: of body, or a head slightly caught, or a leg 891 00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:59,400 Speaker 1: that moved another way that said something different to what 892 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,200 Speaker 1: the body said, you know, and it allows us just 893 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:06,839 Speaker 1: to know, sneak just a little bit more. That's so true. 894 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,480 Speaker 1: I mean, like I'll notice when all of our kids 895 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,279 Speaker 1: do it whenever they're thinking, they like crossed their two 896 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:16,040 Speaker 1: their toes over one the other toe. And my husband 897 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:17,960 Speaker 1: does it as well. But it's like it's one of 898 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:21,200 Speaker 1: those things. It's just like I know that something's on 899 00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 1: their mind or they're thinking when they do it. And 900 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:27,560 Speaker 1: when I posted that I was gonna have we were 901 00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,200 Speaker 1: gonna be talking today. The number one question that every 902 00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,640 Speaker 1: single person like, I'm not kidding, so many people wrote 903 00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,440 Speaker 1: in how how does she? How does you know? How 904 00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,839 Speaker 1: do you make it look so easy? And is that 905 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 1: like your special sauce? Is that just you're so intuitive 906 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:49,560 Speaker 1: to listening to what their kids are saying? Or um what? Well, 907 00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 1: thirty years of experience will do that, right, thirty years 908 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:59,680 Speaker 1: of experience with different families and different children. But a humming, 909 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:04,480 Speaker 1: there's not much I miss. So I'm looking, you know, 910 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:08,160 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm scanning everything very very quickly, at the 911 00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:12,480 Speaker 1: blink of an eye, very very quickly. But experiences what 912 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,560 Speaker 1: gives you that? But to be able to tune in, 913 00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:18,480 Speaker 1: it's not about just listening to what's being said. It's 914 00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:22,960 Speaker 1: about listening to what's not being said. It's watching what's 915 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:27,080 Speaker 1: being said and how somebody. Somebody's body is as well. 916 00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:31,640 Speaker 1: So there's body language, it's it's what somebody says, what 917 00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:36,480 Speaker 1: somebody doesn't say. It's the environment, it's the other family members, 918 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,879 Speaker 1: it's many other it's lots of things. But it's also 919 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,759 Speaker 1: an intuitive and I'm very you know, I'm an empattern 920 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 1: and intuitive EmPATH. So very in tuned with families and children. 921 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:55,040 Speaker 1: But it's certainly about being very sharp in what I 922 00:54:55,239 --> 00:55:00,840 Speaker 1: notice um and having a fair balance through variance of 923 00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,799 Speaker 1: knowing the need and the want is very different, so 924 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:09,719 Speaker 1: that there is the fairness in recognizing when there is 925 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:13,440 Speaker 1: a need and when it's just what kids want, right, 926 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,520 Speaker 1: Because people say, hey, well, how do you know the difference? 927 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:22,520 Speaker 1: And you when you are, when you're intuitive, it's with 928 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:26,839 Speaker 1: conviction that there's no other way, there's no other it's 929 00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:30,920 Speaker 1: it's there because it's a knowing right and you only 930 00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:34,799 Speaker 1: get that by spending that time with your children and observing. 931 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:42,319 Speaker 1: And I think that one of our biggest issues is 932 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,839 Speaker 1: staying focus in a in a world that's so distracted. 933 00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:50,879 Speaker 1: We're distracted so much by so many things. So it's 934 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,720 Speaker 1: staying focused. So you know, those little small things really 935 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:59,879 Speaker 1: counts in in what we observe when we can step back, 936 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,719 Speaker 1: okay and not feel like we have to be in 937 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,200 Speaker 1: the middle of everything. And so when you feel as 938 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,880 Speaker 1: a parent that you're in the eye of a storm 939 00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,799 Speaker 1: and a tornado is there, you know, in the middle 940 00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,200 Speaker 1: of two kids wanting to rip each other's hair off 941 00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:16,160 Speaker 1: at their head, right, and everybody's screaming anarchy. They all 942 00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,759 Speaker 1: want to be heard, they want what's fair is to 943 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,160 Speaker 1: literally step back. I do it in my mind. I 944 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,640 Speaker 1: ask people to do the S O S technique physically, 945 00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:29,280 Speaker 1: to to walk in, to see, to step back, observe, 946 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,719 Speaker 1: and then to step back in with action and to 947 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,200 Speaker 1: make a decision. Whatever you do. Don't do nothing but 948 00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:38,480 Speaker 1: make a decision because one way it's going to be 949 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,840 Speaker 1: the right decision, or I didn't pan out so well 950 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,440 Speaker 1: and you'll learn from that and you'll make a different 951 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:48,160 Speaker 1: decision next time, you know. But the need to they 952 00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:53,360 Speaker 1: need to be everything for for our kids, UM puts 953 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:57,920 Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on the individual, you know, which 954 00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:02,920 Speaker 1: is impossible to accomplished. I mean, we can never keep 955 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:07,600 Speaker 1: all of our kids happy all of the time, you know, UM. 956 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,640 Speaker 1: And I think what's most important is for parents to 957 00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:15,960 Speaker 1: be in a space where they have had some rest, 958 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,600 Speaker 1: that they are creating space for them to recognize that 959 00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:23,640 Speaker 1: this is a period, to prioritize what's important, the rest 960 00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:25,880 Speaker 1: that they can get when they can get it, UM, 961 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:31,000 Speaker 1: And to create an environment for children that is calm, 962 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,920 Speaker 1: calm and steel. Because they looked at us and if 963 00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,439 Speaker 1: we're unsure and if we're uncertain and if we are 964 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,400 Speaker 1: not grasping a hold of our own mental health, we're 965 00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:43,520 Speaker 1: gonna make them panic. We'll make them scared, you know, 966 00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,160 Speaker 1: and then we will project onto our children are worried 967 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:51,480 Speaker 1: and a concern and we all know, um, you know 968 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:56,160 Speaker 1: how that can manifest itself for us as adults. Imagine 969 00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:59,320 Speaker 1: how crippling that can be for young children as well, 970 00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,520 Speaker 1: and fatina ages and the ramifications of that. You know. 971 00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,400 Speaker 1: So sleep is important for us to get. But that 972 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:08,400 Speaker 1: sleep will still my notes here, but that sleep happens 973 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,280 Speaker 1: with you know, that sleep happens um certainly when we've 974 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,720 Speaker 1: been able to to move, you know, so we need 975 00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:18,160 Speaker 1: to do more and then kids just playing, you know, 976 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,360 Speaker 1: we we literally need to partake in some form of 977 00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:25,320 Speaker 1: movement online or make it up ourselves. You know, we 978 00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,000 Speaker 1: dance a whole load, or we make up some different moves, 979 00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:31,120 Speaker 1: or we do different exercise techniques and stretch and move 980 00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:34,080 Speaker 1: with our kids so that they're you know, so that 981 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,960 Speaker 1: they're moving more as well, and that they're releasing Otherwise 982 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,959 Speaker 1: it sits stell in the body, that energy sits sell. 983 00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,959 Speaker 1: And you feel you must have had moments yourself because 984 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:46,960 Speaker 1: I have to I have to doing this. I'm doing this. 985 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,280 Speaker 1: I feel like I need to do like I need 986 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,040 Speaker 1: I need to do like And I realized is it 987 00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,680 Speaker 1: mental or is it physical? And the most physical I 988 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,840 Speaker 1: need I need to move. I need to be physical. 989 00:58:57,200 --> 00:59:00,880 Speaker 1: So we ourselves next to my next to my dad, 990 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,360 Speaker 1: so they're like in between some of my work cards 991 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:05,280 Speaker 1: that I can go and just move for a second 992 00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,840 Speaker 1: or you feel like you're going to explode. So kids, 993 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,560 Speaker 1: they have a lot of energy, and a lot of 994 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,240 Speaker 1: parents say, oh, my kids have got a d h D. 995 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:16,560 Speaker 1: There's so hyper. There's a hyper No, they're not there. 996 00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,760 Speaker 1: The kids, kids have a lot of energy. We've lost 997 00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:26,480 Speaker 1: our expectation of exactly how energetic toddlers are. Kids are, 998 00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,480 Speaker 1: you know? So we can set some really good examples 999 00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:34,680 Speaker 1: whilst being at home, and we can um sharpen up 1000 00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,880 Speaker 1: our communications skills with our partners, you know, and we 1001 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:42,680 Speaker 1: can breed more compassion and more empathy, and we can 1002 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,440 Speaker 1: recognize the importance of boundaries and at the same time, 1003 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:50,480 Speaker 1: we can create a sanctuary in our homes that becomes 1004 00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:54,720 Speaker 1: conducive to us having fun and focus at the same 1005 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,040 Speaker 1: time as well, a lot of a lot of peace 1006 00:59:57,520 --> 00:59:59,600 Speaker 1: you know, because that's what we need right now because 1007 01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,960 Speaker 1: the outside we've we've got no control over right now 1008 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:08,560 Speaker 1: what's happening. I know, And I feel honestly so much 1009 01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:10,880 Speaker 1: better from even talking to you, And I know this 1010 01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,919 Speaker 1: is going to help so many people. I wish we could, 1011 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,560 Speaker 1: like I'm like, I want to have a million more questions, 1012 01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,400 Speaker 1: but I guess because of time, I just have to 1013 01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:22,360 Speaker 1: ask one last one. Yeah, when are you moving in? 1014 01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:34,320 Speaker 1: You got to be patient and join that list. Thank 1015 01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:38,800 Speaker 1: you so much for today, honestly, thank you. This has 1016 01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,919 Speaker 1: been so incredible and like, honestly, you made me feel 1017 01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:43,960 Speaker 1: so much like more at ease, Like I feel like 1018 01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:46,360 Speaker 1: I started this conversation, I felt like tense at the 1019 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:49,320 Speaker 1: beginning and like I took a breath. So I hope 1020 01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,200 Speaker 1: there's so many other parents that like listen in that 1021 01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,920 Speaker 1: like calming, like we're gonna be okay. We we are 1022 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,880 Speaker 1: going to be okay. We are going to be okay, 1023 01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,080 Speaker 1: and we will get through this. And parents, you will 1024 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:05,560 Speaker 1: do the best that you can do. I'm not saying 1025 01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,200 Speaker 1: throwing the towel. You know that I would never say 1026 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,680 Speaker 1: throwing the towel. Our kids need us, and you know 1027 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:13,720 Speaker 1: we need to be kind to ourselves as well. And 1028 01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,640 Speaker 1: we will get through this. And we're gonna work alongside 1029 01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,760 Speaker 1: what is happening all around us, and we're going to 1030 01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,960 Speaker 1: do the best that we can do, and we are 1031 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:26,960 Speaker 1: going to lean on others for support, and we are 1032 01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:29,440 Speaker 1: going to look at what we can give to others 1033 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:34,480 Speaker 1: and have more empathy and teach some really great, some 1034 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:40,040 Speaker 1: really beautiful life skills and be a wonderful example, I 1035 01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,200 Speaker 1: think to our children in the way that we in 1036 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,920 Speaker 1: the way that we choose, because it is a choice 1037 01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:49,080 Speaker 1: in the way that we choose to wake up in 1038 01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:51,800 Speaker 1: the morning and to carry on with our day. And 1039 01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,760 Speaker 1: every day's different. Look, you know, under the guise of 1040 01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:57,920 Speaker 1: no pandemic, you know it's up and down. But we're 1041 01:01:57,920 --> 01:01:59,240 Speaker 1: going to do the best that we can. That's all 1042 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:02,080 Speaker 1: we can do. So for all your parents who have 1043 01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:06,080 Speaker 1: been biting your nails off with worri, you know, let's go. 1044 01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:09,920 Speaker 1: Let go. You know, I saw you like this and 1045 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:13,760 Speaker 1: then you kind of went like this. I'm like, you 1046 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,240 Speaker 1: can do the best thing you can do and that's 1047 01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:20,120 Speaker 1: good enough. That's good enough. Well, thank you so much, Okay, 1048 01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:24,600 Speaker 1: thank you, bye bye. So if you guys want to 1049 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:28,480 Speaker 1: learn more about Joe Frost and some of her tips 1050 01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:30,400 Speaker 1: and tricks. I mean they're not even tips some tricks, 1051 01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:33,640 Speaker 1: but just great parenting advice. You've got to watch full 1052 01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:38,040 Speaker 1: episodes of The Supernanny at my lifetime dot com. And you, guys, 1053 01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,960 Speaker 1: for any future podcasts or any questions you have, please 1054 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:44,160 Speaker 1: email me at Teddy t at iHeart radio dot com. 1055 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,080 Speaker 1: Thanks so much. I'll talk to you guys next week. 1056 01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:51,920 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Subscribe to or wherever you listen to 1057 01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:52,600 Speaker 1: podcasts