1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,480
Speaker 1: I exposed my mother in law. I told my husband

2
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,840
Speaker 1: she is a cheater? Should I have done it? This

3
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,160
Speaker 1: is okop where we read the craziest true stories on Earth.

4
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 1: I am John and producer Riley. Do we think this

5
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: person should have exposed their mother in law?

6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 2: If you're trying to get a break from your mother

7
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,279
Speaker 2: in law, do whatever you have, use whatever tools you

8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,840
Speaker 2: have to get it or shut up by any means necessary,

9
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,520
Speaker 2: means necessary, just throw it right into her face. I

10
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 2: think no, not the a home.

11
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,040
Speaker 1: Everyone clipped this for the future and play it at

12
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:28,840
Speaker 1: Riley's wedding.

13
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,319
Speaker 3: Okay, just do that.

14
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,239
Speaker 1: Just wait for a few years and then just boom,

15
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,520
Speaker 1: pop it up at his wedding.

16
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:35,199
Speaker 3: Send it to me.

17
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,600
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, I really don't mean it. Future mother in

18
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,800
Speaker 2: law's for the content.

19
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,640
Speaker 3: Okay, so the content or your daughter.

20
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,720
Speaker 1: Well, there's only one way to find out what happens,

21
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:49,280
Speaker 1: spill that tea. So this story comes from buljin oujie Ooh.

22
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,640
Speaker 1: So I'm twenty seven female and my husband Liam, twenty

23
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,040
Speaker 1: five male, have been married for two years, but we've

24
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 1: known each other since middle school.

25
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,640
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of these like long relationships

26
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 2: have a lot of problems because he's are like the

27
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,640
Speaker 2: ones that are like been together since we're thirteen, been together.

28
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,240
Speaker 3: And then my partner slept with my dad. Yeah, whoa

29
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,679
Speaker 3: been too much time together.

30
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,240
Speaker 1: My sister, Naya thirty one female, recently separated from her

31
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,279
Speaker 1: husband because she was having an affair.

32
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,920
Speaker 3: Oh man, she was the culprint.

33
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,360
Speaker 1: I know that it's wrong, and I've been open and

34
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,200
Speaker 1: honest about what happened with my husband. The thing is,

35
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,919
Speaker 1: she's going through a really rough time right now because

36
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,480
Speaker 1: his ex is turning their kids against her and she

37
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,520
Speaker 1: needs support.

38
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:36,040
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough.

39
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 1: Last night, my husband and I had an argument about it,

40
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 1: and he said that I shouldn't associate with Naya and

41
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,039
Speaker 1: that it's my niece and nephew who really need my support,

42
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:46,800
Speaker 1: which I kind of get.

43
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,720
Speaker 3: It's a tough thing because she was the one that cheated,

44
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,160
Speaker 3: So that's tough. That's tough.

45
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,559
Speaker 1: We argued about it and it got loud between us,

46
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,200
Speaker 1: and I just pointed out that he's never cut his

47
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,560
Speaker 1: mom off, and she cheated on his dad NonStop until

48
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,360
Speaker 1: the day.

49
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:08,000
Speaker 3: He whoa damn. Oh my gosh, that's a nuclear bond.

50
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,800
Speaker 3: I mean Damn.

51
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,080
Speaker 2: She has a good point.

52
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,160
Speaker 1: I mean, she has a point. But yeah, dude, I

53
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 1: don't know that's the red button. She pressed that button?

54
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, who's she trying to still hang out

55
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,200
Speaker 2: with her sister?

56
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 3: Her sister, She trying to support her sister who is

57
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,320
Speaker 3: the cheater. So like, I don't know if.

58
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,799
Speaker 1: She has the ground to press the nuclear button. Kind

59
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 1: of its family it is. I mean, she she is correct,

60
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,120
Speaker 1: Like she's just like stating what we are presuming is

61
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:33,520
Speaker 1: a fact.

62
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,440
Speaker 2: Because I would argue that a sister bond is as

63
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 2: close as a son and mother bond or like a

64
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,520
Speaker 2: parents will bond. I feel like sisters like they're just

65
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,519
Speaker 2: they by me.

66
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,120
Speaker 3: You know, there's there's a really strong relationship there.

67
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,280
Speaker 1: And even if you know that they fed up with

68
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 1: something like cheating, it's not like she like murdered somebody

69
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,320
Speaker 1: and is like a danger to society per se. She's

70
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 1: just like you did a freaking off of them, maybe

71
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,520
Speaker 1: broke your family apart. But I guess I'm still going

72
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 1: to be here for your sister. I don't know, let

73
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 1: me know. In the comments, like have you had a

74
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,680
Speaker 1: sister or a sibling or someone like that cheat? And

75
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,560
Speaker 1: like what do you do, like, do you support them?

76
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,480
Speaker 1: It's quite a tricky navigate that quite a tricky situation

77
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,680
Speaker 1: to be in. Let me know in the comments if

78
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:12,880
Speaker 1: you have any context.

79
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,080
Speaker 2: How's op navigating it?

80
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,640
Speaker 1: Well, my husband got really quiet, and it's not like

81
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,959
Speaker 1: we stopped talking, but we have stopped talking about my sister.

82
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,400
Speaker 3: Shut him up, she kind of did.

83
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,240
Speaker 1: My husband is Chinese and his father was from Hong Kong.

84
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,639
Speaker 1: His father was in his late forties when he went

85
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:32,000
Speaker 1: to Vietnam and married his mother, Fan, who is barely eighteen.

86
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 1: Oh dang, that is an age difference back then. Like

87
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,120
Speaker 1: it's a different time and a different culture.

88
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,240
Speaker 3: But yeh, that's still crazy.

89
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,400
Speaker 1: She was still eighteen when Liam was born and they

90
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,440
Speaker 1: had immigrated. Now, I want to point out you would

91
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,120
Speaker 1: not know that Fan is an immigrant. She spent years

92
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,960
Speaker 1: getting rid of her accent. She's got veneers. She got

93
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,240
Speaker 1: into an engineering college and has a really high paying job.

94
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,800
Speaker 3: Oh so fans and mother in law. Ah, Fan is

95
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:01,520
Speaker 3: the mother in law.

96
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,240
Speaker 1: You're right, except, as my husband has told me, she

97
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,240
Speaker 1: constantly cheated on his father and she trained him since

98
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 1: he was a little kid not to tell him his

99
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 1: father died. Thinking she was loyal, and I get it

100
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,839
Speaker 1: from the husband's perspective, he never knew she was wrong

101
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,839
Speaker 1: to do that, but he did eventually learn, and it's

102
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 1: not like he's cut her out of his life. So

103
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,400
Speaker 1: I don't see why what I said was an a

104
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,599
Speaker 1: whole move. But maybe I am wrong. We have a

105
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,880
Speaker 1: quick comment coming up, but Riley, we got to take

106
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: a super quick postop here.

107
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,039
Speaker 2: What is this mother son relationship here?

108
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,599
Speaker 3: Okay? Oh oh oh, I'm doing a red flag on Ope,

109
00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,040
Speaker 3: you ready for me? Okay?

110
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 1: She said, I don't understand why me saying like his

111
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,280
Speaker 1: mom was a cheater was an a whole move, Like, yes,

112
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,480
Speaker 1: it's true, but like it kind of depends on exactly

113
00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,640
Speaker 1: how her argument with her husband has gone. Okay, but

114
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,799
Speaker 1: I'm like it does seem kind of like a low

115
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,280
Speaker 1: and unnecessy ssarily blow to make.

116
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

117
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,880
Speaker 1: And like and and and to like not be like, ah,

118
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 1: maybe I was like a little too harsh there, Like

119
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,280
Speaker 1: that's what I.

120
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 3: Was what I would expect her to say, to.

121
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,520
Speaker 1: Be like, I do not see it all how I'm

122
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 1: the a hole versus being like, you know what, maybe

123
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,880
Speaker 1: I overstepped my boundaries but that but what I still

124
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,799
Speaker 1: said was true. That's what I was kind of hoping

125
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,640
Speaker 1: to hear from it. But she's taking like no blame.

126
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,039
Speaker 3: She's like, how am I the a hole? Right now? Yeah?

127
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,480
Speaker 2: That is a red flag? Yeah, not thinking of it

128
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,800
Speaker 2: very what how do you call it?

129
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 3: Non bias?

130
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 2: It's very biased?

131
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:26,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

132
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that being said, not having empathy, because that's probably

133
00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,360
Speaker 1: why her husband is so bothered by her cheating sister,

134
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,560
Speaker 1: right because he realized later in life, like his mom

135
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 1: trained him since he was a kid, so he has

136
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,880
Speaker 1: this last broken moment basically probably traumatized from that, yeah,

137
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,080
Speaker 1: and is like I don't like cheaters.

138
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,320
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and it wants something to do with them. Yeah.

139
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,080
Speaker 1: Now, I mean, dude, this is such a complicated thing

140
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 1: and we'll get back into a story. But like, the

141
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,480
Speaker 1: other thing that came to mind is, like, listen, forty

142
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,040
Speaker 1: year old eighteen year old, maybe she didn't like the

143
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,839
Speaker 1: way that everything was like playing out and how it

144
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,159
Speaker 1: kind of just played out. Maybe she kind of didn't

145
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,960
Speaker 1: have much of a choice, low key. I don't know

146
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,160
Speaker 1: if there was like like what if there's like pressure

147
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,200
Speaker 1: for her to get this marriage.

148
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,480
Speaker 3: I'm like making assumptions.

149
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, at this point, but like, what was

150
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 2: the whole situation?

151
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,880
Speaker 3: What's the context here?

152
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like later she you know, went to engineering

153
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,960
Speaker 1: school all this different stuff, Like you know, she made

154
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,080
Speaker 1: a great life for herself. But I don't know, maybe

155
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,560
Speaker 1: she just felt like so trapped. This is like her

156
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,120
Speaker 1: way of to escape or her way to escape maybe. Yeah,

157
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,240
Speaker 1: Like I could totally see that being true as well.

158
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 1: So I don't I don't even necessarily yet when I

159
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,120
Speaker 1: throw the mom on the bus. We don't have enough context,

160
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,200
Speaker 1: we don't have enough information. So we're gonna get back

161
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,839
Speaker 1: to the story and see what's going on here. So

162
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,480
Speaker 1: this is OPI's a lengthy comment about her mother in law.

163
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,159
Speaker 1: I just saw this, and I want to point this out.

164
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,479
Speaker 1: My husband's relationship with his mother is complicated because he

165
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,599
Speaker 1: loves her dearly. He would never call her a bad parent,

166
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,560
Speaker 1: and his therapist and I are the only ones he's ever.

167
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,200
Speaker 3: Talked to about how she used to act.

168
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,120
Speaker 1: I honestly couldn't reconcile what he told me about his

169
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,360
Speaker 1: mother with the woman. I know, because after we got married,

170
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 1: she gave me the biggest hug and said, I finally

171
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,920
Speaker 1: have a daughter. That's why I'm kind of like, I

172
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,880
Speaker 1: still have my theory that like maybe she wasn't in

173
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,880
Speaker 1: a good relationship a great person, Yeah, and like maybe

174
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,800
Speaker 1: she was just trying to escape and didn't feel like

175
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:13,960
Speaker 1: she had another way out.

176
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,080
Speaker 3: So but we'll see, we'll see.

177
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 1: But since he was a little kid, she'd expose him

178
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,000
Speaker 1: to her affairs, and he's seen and heard far more

179
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 1: than any child should have seen. No, she didn't literally

180
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,880
Speaker 1: do the dirty deed with her partners right in front

181
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,040
Speaker 1: of his eyes. She even told him once never find

182
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,800
Speaker 1: a woman like me. It's to the point where I

183
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,200
Speaker 1: feel certain that it was abusive, but he refuses to

184
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,840
Speaker 1: accept that because he sees them as quote unquote just affairs,

185
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,600
Speaker 1: even though he goes to therapy over how it messed

186
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,840
Speaker 1: him up. Okay, so that's more context that I was

187
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,080
Speaker 1: saying we needed. Maybe it was like she was just

188
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 1: dipping out of the marriage, and you know, not what

189
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,520
Speaker 1: we were saying originally. Yeah, to him, his mother is

190
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,600
Speaker 1: the woman who always volunteered at a school, worked as

191
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 1: the duty mom at lunch despite her actual job, would

192
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,320
Speaker 1: drive an hour to our universe. She'd eat multiple times

193
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,400
Speaker 1: a week just to check in on him or give

194
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,200
Speaker 1: him lunch or cook him dinner. Oh wow, who still

195
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 1: calls him every night just to tell him that she

196
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: loves him. That's what he sees his mother as, even

197
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 1: though he knows how wrong it was of her to

198
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,400
Speaker 1: do what she did. And yes, I asked if his

199
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 1: mom heard him so much, why let him be close?

200
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 1: And his answer is always the same, And it's just

201
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,760
Speaker 1: that she needs him. Maybe that's what makes me wrong

202
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,400
Speaker 1: in having used that to make my point. But I

203
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,000
Speaker 1: love my sister and I'm scared that what's going on

204
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,520
Speaker 1: could push her to the deep end. I feel like

205
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,280
Speaker 1: she needs me, just as he feels that his mom

206
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,600
Speaker 1: needs him. I don't want my niece and nephew to

207
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,280
Speaker 1: lose their mother, but I'm scared that they might.

208
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 2: Okay, this is what I see. She's a great mom,

209
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,120
Speaker 2: just wasn't a great wife. And I feel like, in

210
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,360
Speaker 2: a way, Opie's sister, maybe a great sister, but just

211
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,120
Speaker 2: not a great wife. You know, That's what right kind

212
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,840
Speaker 2: of seems like. So I'm just kind of a little

213
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,760
Speaker 2: messed up in the head. Why the husband looks at

214
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,080
Speaker 2: his mom through that filter but can't look.

215
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,600
Speaker 3: At Naia through that filter?

216
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,640
Speaker 1: Yes, because Nia didn't do all these loving and actually

217
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,600
Speaker 1: incredible like motherly duties to him.

218
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,080
Speaker 3: And I again just got.

219
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,839
Speaker 1: To give Op a little a little bit of a

220
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,079
Speaker 1: red fly, a little little baby wave here, just because

221
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,680
Speaker 1: I don't feel like she's having any accountability for her sister.

222
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 3: I think it's.

223
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,200
Speaker 1: Totally fine, especially if it sounds like she's worried that

224
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,640
Speaker 1: there might be some self harm or some like drastic

225
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:30,360
Speaker 1: self harm potential here, which is totally a fair point.

226
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,000
Speaker 1: And there's the niece and the nephew, and maybe right

227
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,400
Speaker 1: now she can't.

228
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,800
Speaker 3: Hold her accountable. That's fine.

229
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,320
Speaker 1: I just haven't heard Op said, Yes, my sister efed

230
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,560
Speaker 1: up majorly, you know what I mean, like broke her home,

231
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,400
Speaker 1: you know, broke the trust of her relationship whatever. But

232
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,319
Speaker 1: right now I kind of just need to bring her

233
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 1: back to a place of stability before. Like I could

234
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,800
Speaker 1: totally understand that approach if that was what she was saying.

235
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,119
Speaker 1: But and this is maybe why the husband is frustrated,

236
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:01,000
Speaker 1: is like she's not seemingly holding her accountable at all,

237
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,520
Speaker 1: not even like pressing her to be accountable right now.

238
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,680
Speaker 1: But just like you know, just in general.

239
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't understand like why the husband is like,

240
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,760
Speaker 2: you can't you can't have a relationship with your sister,

241
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,120
Speaker 2: but I can still have a relationship with my mother.

242
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:11,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true.

243
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,319
Speaker 2: Also went to therapy and process through all those things totally,

244
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,959
Speaker 2: Like why can he not like have that connection, you know, that's.

245
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,680
Speaker 1: His red flag for sure, And I had been meaning

246
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,400
Speaker 1: to get to that, so thank you for reminding me

247
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,080
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, it's like, I mean, it's probably the

248
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,120
Speaker 1: rose tinted glasses from your mother raising you and like

249
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 1: just being like bro being programmed from like birth up.

250
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,280
Speaker 1: That's when it gets crazy. So I can like logically

251
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,880
Speaker 1: understand where his like you know, kind of brainwashing from

252
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,040
Speaker 1: his mom comes from.

253
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 3: I understand it. But yeah, like it's.

254
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,120
Speaker 1: Kind of time to break out of the mold and

255
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,720
Speaker 1: listen to your wife and your therapist. And I also

256
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 1: think that two things can be true at once for him,

257
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,120
Speaker 1: she could have been this amazing mother to him, yeah,

258
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,240
Speaker 1: and maybe a unfaithful, probably not great partner.

259
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:58,760
Speaker 3: To his dad.

260
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,200
Speaker 1: I think that those two things can exist at the

261
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,480
Speaker 1: same time. Yeah, you know, And it seems like that

262
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,720
Speaker 1: is the case, like that that she was a good mother,

263
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,280
Speaker 1: but then she was like truly cheating with the husband.

264
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,440
Speaker 3: As far as we know, one last thing about Ope.

265
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,800
Speaker 2: I think Opie's just in the denial stage of this

266
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,600
Speaker 2: whole thing with her sister. Yeah, it's like too soon,

267
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,080
Speaker 2: too soon, that's why she's saying these things.

268
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 1: That makes a ton of seny and they're pointing at

269
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: each other that it's Spider Man memes, galore go glore

270
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,160
Speaker 1: over here.

271
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,200
Speaker 2: But I think you, I think you've got some comments

272
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:25,440
Speaker 2: from me.

273
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,000
Speaker 3: We do.

274
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,240
Speaker 1: From the first post, OPI responds to a person assuming

275
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 1: her husband saw her mother in law without clothes as

276
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,560
Speaker 1: a child. Pretty much, he saw more of his mother

277
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,120
Speaker 1: than he should have where she'd go to greet her

278
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,560
Speaker 1: lovers and was just told to sit on the couch

279
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,920
Speaker 1: and watch TV by her while.

280
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:48,240
Speaker 3: It was going on. I that's bad.

281
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 1: Beyond that, he might not have seen her actually doing

282
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,000
Speaker 1: it with her lovers, but he heard it. There were also

283
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 1: times when his mother would yell at his dad for

284
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,040
Speaker 1: not being man enough to give her a daughter. That

285
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,280
Speaker 1: made him feel unwanted. That said, his mother did smooth

286
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,560
Speaker 1: that over with him. OPI responded to a person calling

287
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,360
Speaker 1: her mother in law an awful parent. Maybe she is,

288
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,160
Speaker 1: but he would never call her that. For Mother's Day,

289
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 1: he took her to Seattle and treated her to a

290
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,440
Speaker 1: wonderful day for her birthday. He rented out a hall

291
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,560
Speaker 1: and through her an amazing celebration. Wow, Opie's doing the most.

292
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,840
Speaker 1: And if he can still do so much for his

293
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 1: mother when she did such wrong to him, I don't

294
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 1: see why I can't be there for my sister who

295
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,320
Speaker 1: has done so much for him.

296
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,839
Speaker 3: That is a good point. That is a good point.

297
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,160
Speaker 1: OPI responding to a person saying that her mother in

298
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: law is not a good parent. I agree, it doesn't

299
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,959
Speaker 1: make her a good one, but he'd go down insisting

300
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,760
Speaker 1: that she's the best mother. On this comment, OPI responds

301
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,440
Speaker 1: to a person asking why she is supporting her sister

302
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,079
Speaker 1: and not her niece and nephew.

303
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 3: That's an interesting question.

304
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: Obviously they are important, but guess what. They need their mother,

305
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,240
Speaker 1: and they need their mother to be healthy right now.

306
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm all she has, so excuse me if I don't

307
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,200
Speaker 1: give them because their idiot father is letting them give

308
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,400
Speaker 1: their mother any time. Op on her mother in law

309
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,960
Speaker 1: being trafficked. His mother was not trafficked, and she herself

310
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,920
Speaker 1: would say that she wasn't. Okay, that's very.

311
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 3: Good to hear.

312
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,600
Speaker 1: She has been in constant contact with her family since

313
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 1: she left Vietnam and has been on vacations there with

314
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,360
Speaker 1: nobody but my husband since he was two years old.

315
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,200
Speaker 1: If she wanted to leave his father, then she could have.

316
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,199
Speaker 1: Do I agree with a man near fifty marrying a teenager.

317
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,840
Speaker 1: Hell no, But my mother in law was not trafficked.

318
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,160
Speaker 1: She saw her husband as a ticket to a better

319
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 1: life and she took it. Now, that explains the context.

320
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,560
Speaker 1: So basically she was like, Hey, here's this guy who

321
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,640
Speaker 1: wants to marry me, is down to marry me, and

322
00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,480
Speaker 1: this is my ticket out. So that's where she didn't

323
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 1: treat it as like a loving relationship. It wasn't that

324
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,319
Speaker 1: it was necessarily force or trafficking or something like really

325
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,040
Speaker 1: bad along those lines. It was just like kind of

326
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,360
Speaker 1: a sugar daddy situation almost like hey, I can go

327
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:53,960
Speaker 1: to America.

328
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,480
Speaker 3: And you know she didn't capitalize on that.

329
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,400
Speaker 1: I mean she got you know, she got her degree,

330
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,120
Speaker 1: she got her high paying job, she did all these

331
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,200
Speaker 1: different things with it. It seems like she was able

332
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,760
Speaker 1: to acclimate into society really well.

333
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,320
Speaker 2: Dude, give me a hat, give me the tin foil.

334
00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, dude. Good throw Oh

335
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 2: my gosh, I got.

336
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 1: Hould on ood Riley's first tinfoil hat moment, what do

337
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:13,760
Speaker 1: you got for us?

338
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 2: So one, she only saw Opie's husband or the husband

339
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,520
Speaker 2: the dad as a better way to a better life,

340
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,600
Speaker 2: So she did not love the husband's dad whatsoever, the dad.

341
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,920
Speaker 3: At all, we can potentially assume.

342
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw how much of it like a mother

343
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,320
Speaker 2: that she is for Opie's husband. Yeah, And I was like,

344
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 2: why isn't she like giving him so much love? Is

345
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 2: because like she didn't give that love for her husband,

346
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,040
Speaker 2: she'd give that to the sun, right, And that's just

347
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 2: a very interesting thing, And like why she was able

348
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,080
Speaker 2: to fool around and like was really hard on the

349
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,120
Speaker 2: dad because she only saw him as like the ticket,

350
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: didn't really see him as a person.

351
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I think I'm picking up what you're putting down. Basically,

352
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,440
Speaker 1: you're saying like maybe there were some guilts that she

353
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 1: felt about like kind of using the dad, And she's like,

354
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,760
Speaker 1: all right, I might be like totally using the dad,

355
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 1: but to make up for it, I'm gonna love the

356
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,800
Speaker 1: crap out of my son and do them and use

357
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,720
Speaker 1: that as a way to like ease my guilt out.

358
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 2: Even though there are tinfoil hats on our head or

359
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,160
Speaker 2: wavelinks or the same.

360
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,000
Speaker 3: That is correct.

361
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally think that that's a very very plausible theory.

362
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 3: Great tinfoil hat moment.

363
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,160
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, we're out of applause for Riley's first tinfoil

364
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:14,600
Speaker 1: hat moment.

365
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,400
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen.

366
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,920
Speaker 1: Crushed it. Crushed it. But let's get in to the

367
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 1: next part of the story. What onto the juicy update.

368
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 1: I don't have much to say, since it's clear that

369
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 1: my account got down voted into being banned.

370
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 3: Dang.

371
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,400
Speaker 1: However, my husband saw my post last night because he

372
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 1: himself has talked a lot about his situation on Reddit.

373
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,880
Speaker 1: Since it's anonymous, it's me, his therapist, and online forums.

374
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,000
Speaker 1: It made him laugh because he wasn't sure if I

375
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 1: was trying to attack his mother or defend her. It

376
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,960
Speaker 1: led to a talk about his mother and my sister

377
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 1: and my niece and nephew, and we came to the

378
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,600
Speaker 1: decision that we were too involved, which I see is

379
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,240
Speaker 1: a kind of fair thing. Honestly, I will still be

380
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,960
Speaker 1: there for my sister and hell still be there for

381
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 1: his mother, but we've decided to take a snap fake

382
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 1: to Mexico next week, two weeks where we just get

383
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 1: to be us with no other family members and celebrate

384
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,320
Speaker 1: Christmas alone. So while I disagree with a lot of

385
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 1: things people said about me and my sister, I thank

386
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 1: you because it made my husband laugh. And now we're

387
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,840
Speaker 1: going to Mexico.

388
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,000
Speaker 3: Wow. Well, I'm not gonna lie.

389
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 1: I didn't expect that it's the ending of this story,

390
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 1: but I do like the outcome. I get Opie's concern

391
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,080
Speaker 1: for her sister, especially if they're self harm involved. One

392
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,320
Speaker 1: thousand percent. I think she does want to do it

393
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 1: and her intentions to do it for the betterment of

394
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 1: her sister's family meeting like the children and you know,

395
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,360
Speaker 1: her sister and.

396
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 3: All of that good stuff.

397
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,360
Speaker 1: But also at the end of the day, they're kind

398
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 1: of like very involved, and which happens is family. But

399
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: I think you can argue that they kind of don't

400
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,080
Speaker 1: need to be. Yeah, and I'm very glad that they're like,

401
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 1: you know what, let's take a beat and go to Mexico.

402
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's just kind of forget about this whole thing.

403
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 2: There was one comment I want.

404
00:16:59,320 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 3: You to read.

405
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw that the mother is Vitmamese. So this

406
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,880
Speaker 2: is a very interesting comment about like that kind of culture.

407
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,199
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, yeah, so let's check it out. This is

408
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: from sweet ragnort this God, I love it. This may

409
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 1: be an important point. Being Asian myself, our culture backgrounds

410
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:21,240
Speaker 1: can blur the lines between morals and filial loyalty.

411
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 3: That familial loyalty, I would I would say so or it's.

412
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:27,639
Speaker 1: Filial word like family is everything, parents can do, no

413
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 1: wrong kind of mentality. It's indoctrinated deeply to people who

414
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,400
Speaker 1: are raised in those traditional ways. Okay, so that's that's

415
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 1: a very important factor there. So if your entire culture,

416
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 1: not just your mom, your entire culture is telling you,

417
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 1: like basically from birth like oh no you you write

418
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 1: or die for your parents, no matter what. Yeah, no

419
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,479
Speaker 1: matter what, that is definitely a big factor considered here.

420
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 3: Great get comment. Do you have another comment for me?

421
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, there are some people like talking about that

422
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 2: point of view. So sephal pod Overlord says, thank you,

423
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 2: that's perfect. I think that this is a big part

424
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaker 2: of husband's thinking, possibly combined with lots of assumptions here

425
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,720
Speaker 2: an older father who probably wasn't as involved emotionally. It

426
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 2: also happens in non Asian families people for giving bad

427
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 2: behavior because hey they're family, but totally condemning someone else

428
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,400
Speaker 2: doing the same thing.

429
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,880
Speaker 3: What they're saying is.

430
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,679
Speaker 2: The husband was thinking like this, like even though the

431
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,719
Speaker 2: mom did all this wrong stuff, he's like still that

432
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,720
Speaker 2: ride or die.

433
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: Right, just goes it further deepens on, like, look, it's family,

434
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,680
Speaker 1: so I will give there's like a family pass. Yeah,

435
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 1: I will give my family the pass, but someone who's

436
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,880
Speaker 1: not family, I will hold them like way more accountable to.

437
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 3: Yeah that makes sense. That makes sense.

438
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 1: So basically, yeah, it seems like there's people from other cultures,

439
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,600
Speaker 1: not just Vietnamese or Asian, that are kind of like

440
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 1: echoing the same sentiments.

441
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,960
Speaker 2: So like, have major respect for your elders even though

442
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,520
Speaker 2: they do.

443
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 3: A lot of wrong right. Yeah.

444
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean it's totally seems like a common theme.

445
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 1: And yeah, it makes it. It makes a ton of sense.

446
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,399
Speaker 1: I could, I could totally see that. So it just

447
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 1: it just seems like the husband is basically giving his

448
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 1: mom a pretty big pass here for all of this stuff.

449
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 1: A lot of different nooks and cranies in this story.

450
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 2: You know what nook and cranny I wish you would

451
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: give me what Another story let's do it.