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Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to another episode of You Need

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Speaker 1: Therapy Podcasts. My name is Cat and I am your host,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so glad you've made your way here. If

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Speaker 1: this is your first episode, or we don't have five

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Speaker 1: hundred episodes but I wanted to say, or your five

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Speaker 1: hundred episode, but anyway, yeah, I'm glad you're here. I

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Speaker 1: want to before we get going, give a little disclaimer

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Speaker 1: that if you've made your way here and you're new,

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Speaker 1: just a reminder that this is not therapy in itself,

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Speaker 1: but this is a way where I am able to

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Speaker 1: talk about mental health and get some information out there

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Speaker 1: for you guys to start getting you thinking about therapy

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Speaker 1: and what things in your life you might want to

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Speaker 1: dig into and heal and all that. This is not

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Speaker 1: therapy though, and I cannot be your therapists if your podcast,

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Speaker 1: although that would be great if I could, but I

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Speaker 1: just can't. And also I wanted to remind everybody about

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Speaker 1: our Self Love Club, So if you don't know what

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Speaker 1: that is, it is a letter that I send out

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Speaker 1: every week through email, and sometimes it includes promotions and

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Speaker 1: codes for our merch and stuff that we sell online

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Speaker 1: at you Need Therapy dot com. So if you want

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Speaker 1: to sign up for it, you can go to you

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast dot com and you can do that there.

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Speaker 1: I send a little letter from me and it gets

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Speaker 1: posted nowhere else, so it's kind of like, I want

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Speaker 1: to say it's exclusive, but it's just a letter from me,

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Speaker 1: so I don't feel like it's that exclusive. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: go sign up for that. Also, happy post Valentine's Day.

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Speaker 1: At this point, Valentine's Day is yesterday. But when I'm

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Speaker 1: recording this now in the moment, it is a minute.

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Speaker 1: It's Sunday. And I honestly thought about doing an episode

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Speaker 1: on singleness, but we just put one out with Jamie

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Speaker 1: Torkhowski a couple of weeks ago on loneliness, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't feel like I need to spend

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Speaker 1: all of our time talking about something that's actually really

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Speaker 1: not wrong with us. And that episode is awesome. So

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Speaker 1: if you need something like that, go look at your

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Speaker 1: not Lonely in your Loneliness. It's great episode. I will

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Speaker 1: just say this one thing this weekend. We'll get to

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Speaker 1: the content of this week's episode. If you are someone

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Speaker 1: who is struggling in the season of relationship life, that

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Speaker 1: you're in. I'm really sorry that you're hurting. I feel that,

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Speaker 1: I have felt that sometimes I'm still in it currently.

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Speaker 1: But what I want you to know is that whatever

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Speaker 1: you're in is not a punishment or a curse, and

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Speaker 1: it's not because there's something wrong with you. Life is

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Speaker 1: just doing its thing and a lot of life doesn't

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Speaker 1: really go in our directions, and if it did all

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Speaker 1: the time, oh my gosh, things would be more messed

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Speaker 1: up than they already are, which is crazy to me.

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Speaker 1: But I have come to believe that the waiting seasons

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Speaker 1: are the best seasons because in our waiting season, something

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Speaker 1: is happening, like things are happening that we don't know about,

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Speaker 1: and things are being prepared and the world is at work.

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Speaker 1: And for me, waiting is a space where what we

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Speaker 1: are meant to have is being created for us, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's really cool to think of it that way.

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Speaker 1: So I encourage you to find some gratitude in your

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Speaker 1: weight if you're in that. And I don't mean cover

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Speaker 1: up your pain with a smile. When I say find

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Speaker 1: some gratitude in the pain, it means to feel the

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Speaker 1: pain and the hurt and in that know that when

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Speaker 1: you're waiting period is over. The amount of gratitude for

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Speaker 1: what is being prepared will be so so, so so

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Speaker 1: so much bigger, which is very cool and I love

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Speaker 1: thinking about it that way. So done with that, Valainsei

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Speaker 1: is over. I hope you guys had a good one regardless,

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Speaker 1: and let's talk about this week. So this week, Oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I have my friend Kenzie todd On, and

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Speaker 1: we could have made this episode fifteen hours long, but

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Speaker 1: you know, I think that would be a little bit

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Speaker 1: too long. So if you don't know who Kenzie is,

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Speaker 1: she is the owner and founder of Full Ride Cyclane

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Speaker 1: and she has recently become a friend of mine and

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Speaker 1: also like she's my boss kind of well, she is

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Speaker 1: my boss in that realm. And I originally intended her

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Speaker 1: to come in and talk about what it was like

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Speaker 1: mentally and emotionally to keep a business afloat during the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: and we did that, but we also did so much more.

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Speaker 1: We went from mental health to pandemic to fitness, to

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Speaker 1: social media to friendships to trauma. I mean, we talked

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Speaker 1: about everything. And I love these kinds of episodes because

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Speaker 1: it really just felt like I was having a conversation

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Speaker 1: with a friend and we happened to be recording it.

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Speaker 1: And if you don't know Kenzie, you're going to love her.

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Speaker 1: She is someone who has been through some things, but

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Speaker 1: you probably never would know just by looking at her.

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Speaker 1: And I even talked about how my judgment of her

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Speaker 1: before I knew her was so so off. She has

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Speaker 1: a heart of gold and was very honest about a

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Speaker 1: lot of things in this episode and also honest about

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Speaker 1: how she has had to learn to protect her heart

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Speaker 1: in that um and some of life. And I really

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Speaker 1: want to, just before I put this out there, thank

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Speaker 1: Kenzie for doing this, because I think this episode is

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Speaker 1: not just going to be fun to listen to, but

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Speaker 1: also it bridges a gap of loneliness in comparison, and

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Speaker 1: it comes off the heels of one of my actual

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Speaker 1: favorite episodes from last week, the one with Anne Marie.

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Speaker 1: You haven't listened to that, go listen to it. But

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Speaker 1: this just felt so I guess real to me, and

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Speaker 1: that's my favorite kind of content to put out. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I like teaching you guys things. Sometimes I like interviewing people.

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Speaker 1: This just felt like a real conversation about people talking

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Speaker 1: about how life is hard, which is why it was

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Speaker 1: so hard for me to actually title this episode. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: so thank you Kenzie for doing this. I hope you

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Speaker 1: guys enjoy it. You can follow Kenzie at at Kenzie

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Speaker 1: Todd on Instagram and at full Ride Cycling if you

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Speaker 1: want to just get to know her a little bit more. However,

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Speaker 1: we do talk about social media in this episode, and

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Speaker 1: so even telling you to go follow that seems like

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Speaker 1: incongruent in some way, but I just wanted to give

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Speaker 1: that information out there. If you live in Nashville and

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Speaker 1: you want to try a cycling class with Kenzie, She's

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Speaker 1: a phenomenal instructor. I highly recommend her. You can go

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Speaker 1: to full ride Cycling dot com and look and find

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Speaker 1: all the information about that. So thank you, Kenzie. Thank

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Speaker 1: you all the people who are listening to this. I

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Speaker 1: hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. I

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Speaker 1: will see you on Wednesday for couch Talks and here

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Speaker 1: is my conversation with Kensey. Okay, guys, welcome back to

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Speaker 1: another episode of nied Therapy. I have I feel like

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Speaker 1: I always say the same thing, but it's because all

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Speaker 1: my guests are great. But I have another exciting guest here.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Kenzie. Some of y'all will be familiar

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Speaker 1: with her because you know her, or you might have

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Speaker 1: heard her recently on Amy's podcast for Things with Amy Brown. Welcome,

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Speaker 1: Thank you than all right, So there's a couple of

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Speaker 1: reasons why I asked Kenzie to come and talk. We're

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Speaker 1: going to try to get through all of them, and

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Speaker 1: if not, you'll just come back perfect um. But Kenzie

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Speaker 1: is the owner of the cycling studio that I just

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Speaker 1: started teaching at, and that's really how I met you.

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Speaker 1: I've known who you are for a long time and

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Speaker 1: now we get to be friends and you're my boss

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Speaker 1: and I'm not your boss, I know not. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: so you're unique in the in the sense that like

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Speaker 1: you're a young business owner, you work in fitness, you

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Speaker 1: didn't start in fitness. You have a history being engaged

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Speaker 1: and things revolved around mental health, and you've been to

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Speaker 1: therapy and you have feelings and you like to talk

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Speaker 1: about them. And you're unique in the way that you

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Speaker 1: kept a small business afloat. Is that what you would say,

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Speaker 1: um alive through the last year, which we're coming up

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Speaker 1: on a year of the year anniversary. It's not something

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Speaker 1: to celebrate one of the pandemic, and so that's one

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Speaker 1: of the main reasons I wanted you to come in

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Speaker 1: to talk about really how that affected you, what you learned,

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Speaker 1: because all of us have survived this pandemic that are

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Speaker 1: listening to this, and I think it's really helpful to

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Speaker 1: see the insides of people's survival stories. Yeah, because and

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Speaker 1: we'll get into social media. Sometimes it looks like things

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Speaker 1: just ran very smoothly, but there's no way that could

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Speaker 1: have happened, no smoothly. So do you mind just sharing

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Speaker 1: what the pandemic like, the trajectory of it was like

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Speaker 1: like in the beginning, and then oh yeah, we could

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Speaker 1: talk a whole episode on this. But I would say

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Speaker 1: the pandemic came as fast for me as it did

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Speaker 1: for everybody else. I had actually just taken a trip

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Speaker 1: to Miami with my mom for the first time. She's like,

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Speaker 1: let's the tornado had just happened. My house wasn't destroyed

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Speaker 1: by you living East Nashville, and so my whole street

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Speaker 1: was destroyed. I had no power, So she's like, let's

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Speaker 1: just go, Let's go to Miami, let's get out of town.

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Speaker 1: And this was when COVID was on the rise, and

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Speaker 1: we're like, we don't know if this is real. Did

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Speaker 1: you go right the weekend before everything? Yes, we went

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Speaker 1: right before I went to Florida that yeah, yeah, you're like,

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Speaker 1: And that was the last hurraute we had, and I

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Speaker 1: remember going to my mom and I just read by

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Speaker 1: the beach and kind of just we had a great time.

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Speaker 1: We came back the very next day. I closed my

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Speaker 1: business and it was March seventeenth when we closed, and

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Speaker 1: I remember thinking we'll be closed. I didn't even honestly

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Speaker 1: think we'd be closed. I didn't really remember how long

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Speaker 1: I actually felt like we'd be closed for. I kind

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Speaker 1: of just was like, this is the right thing to do.

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Speaker 1: We were the first studio to close in Nashville. Um,

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Speaker 1: maybe the second. I don't know, maybe the first or second,

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Speaker 1: but we I wanted to do it early because I

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Speaker 1: just I was like, we we cannot be the last

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Speaker 1: one to close down. This is a real thing, and

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Speaker 1: we need to figure out what's going on and what

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Speaker 1: our steps are going to be after this. And so

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Speaker 1: all I knew was like, we're going to close. So

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Speaker 1: we communicated that out to the community. We had a

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Speaker 1: really positive attitude. It was. I think it was Shauna's last.

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Speaker 1: She was the last class, and I was like, you're

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Speaker 1: the last class, Like, let's go. And so we did it.

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Speaker 1: I was there. We closed down, and you know, seventy

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Speaker 1: five days later we finally got to reopen. But in

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Speaker 1: that time, did you think it was going to be

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Speaker 1: a long closing two weeks? I've got two weeks, maybe

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Speaker 1: a month at worst. You know, I had no idea

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Speaker 1: we were going to have to completely pivot our business,

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Speaker 1: go online, you know, fight every single day to try

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Speaker 1: to stay alive. And primarily the biggest motivation was for

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Speaker 1: the clients, because you know, you have people that go

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Speaker 1: away for a week and they come back for like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I missed it, I needed it, or

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Speaker 1: I've been gone for the weekend. Oh my goodness. And

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now seventy five days and people

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Speaker 1: don't have a community. A lot of people lost their

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Speaker 1: ability to move their bodies because they don't have workout.

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Speaker 1: A coup has workout equipment at home. Nobody does. It's

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Speaker 1: so good, Yeah nobody did. Now everybody does. So when

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Speaker 1: we closed, I just had no idea that we were

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Speaker 1: going to be closed for as long as we did,

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Speaker 1: and my spirits were really pretty high at the beginning,

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Speaker 1: and then it just like slowly just started to go

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Speaker 1: downhill from there. But I've never worked harder in my

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Speaker 1: entire life than I did during the pandemic. I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of people kind of scaled. I got to

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Speaker 1: work from home, jumped on zoom calls. I was working

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Speaker 1: probably twelve to eighteen hours a day trying to get

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Speaker 1: my business not only to keep it afloat, but also

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Speaker 1: to find this new avenue and find this new stream

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Speaker 1: of revenue. Because when you're not open as a psycho studio,

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Speaker 1: as any kind of fitness studio, you're not making money

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Speaker 1: unless you're online. And nobody was online at the time.

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Speaker 1: No one needed to be. It was all about group

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Speaker 1: fitness in the flesh in real life, you know. So

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Speaker 1: we pivoted really quickly. We rented all of our bikes,

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Speaker 1: and that was that allowed for us to be able

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Speaker 1: to pay our rent, So that we took all that money,

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Speaker 1: we paid our rent and then paid all of our insurance.

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Speaker 1: We're able to keep paying our bills. And then what

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Speaker 1: really drove me to start an online was, like most

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Speaker 1: of my instructors are tending and contractors and that's how

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Speaker 1: they make money. So I was like, okay, we're okay.

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Speaker 1: I've always had like three to six months of a reserve,

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Speaker 1: so we had cash in the bank. I have an

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Speaker 1: incredible CP A shout out to Alison Reynolds, who has

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Speaker 1: been a lifeline for me, and she's taught me so

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Speaker 1: much about how to just continue to keep your business,

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Speaker 1: manage your money, and she's been amazing. So we had

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Speaker 1: a reserve. We were okay, but I was not okay

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Speaker 1: because my people weren't okay, and so I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we got to figure out how to build the digital

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Speaker 1: so we did. We built these online classes. I have

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Speaker 1: an amazing sound engineer who's become a really good friend

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Speaker 1: of mine. He came up, he helped me figure out

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Speaker 1: how we could record it, because I was like, if

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Speaker 1: we're going to do this, it's going to be really

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Speaker 1: good qualities. It has to be badass. And so we

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Speaker 1: got a lighting guy who actually is one of our clients.

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Speaker 1: He's like a professional in that industry, and he came

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Speaker 1: and helped us out. And then um, I had my

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Speaker 1: sound engineer, and then we just started filming online classes

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Speaker 1: and then we took all that money and then we

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Speaker 1: basically split it up between the team, and that's how

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Speaker 1: the instructors made money during the pandemic. We just gave

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Speaker 1: it all to the team and then that's kind of

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Speaker 1: what got us through, and I think got a lot

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Speaker 1: of clients through those really really dark days, which was

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Speaker 1: primarily most of last summer and fall. But where were you?

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Speaker 1: Where was that? Because I talking about like other people,

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Speaker 1: the clients and the other instructors, So where were you?

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Speaker 1: So you might have felt okay financially because you prepare

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Speaker 1: for disaster as a business owner, but all so like

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Speaker 1: twelve to eighteen hour days, you flipped your business model

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Speaker 1: in like probably a week. Where was like Kenzie's brain

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Speaker 1: and heart, I was numb. I was so numb. I

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Speaker 1: have a tendency, ever since I was a kid to

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Speaker 1: numb myself out in times of trouble. I go on

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Speaker 1: this thing called like survival mode. And so I don't

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Speaker 1: really know how I feel. I don't really know where

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Speaker 1: I'm at. I know how to work really really hard.

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Speaker 1: My strength finders, I'm sure you do this. Um is

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Speaker 1: My number one is disciplined. So like if I see

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Speaker 1: a task like I will just go and I'm a

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Speaker 1: I'm a two on the Instagram, but I have a

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Speaker 1: really strong three wing, so I'm buried like achieve, achieve, achieved.

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Speaker 1: So the combination of all of that was pretty deadly

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Speaker 1: for me. And I was on pure survival and I

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Speaker 1: was very numb and I was exhausted. Okay, so my question,

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Speaker 1: I guess is, so what did you look like? Did

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Speaker 1: you look like a robot? Did you become a different

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Speaker 1: version that people were like, We're what the heck is

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Speaker 1: wrong with you? I think at the beginning, I I

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Speaker 1: felt and looked Okay, Um, I have an incredible support system.

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Speaker 1: So my mom lives in Nashville, and I was kind

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Speaker 1: of just staying at her house and Michael, my boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and my brother was here for a bit and we

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Speaker 1: we really kind of just had this quality time as

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Speaker 1: a family that we've never had. So I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was kind of on a little mini vacation. I

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Speaker 1: got to rest my body. Okay, So we got our

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Speaker 1: bikes rented out, We're doing online stuff. This is kind

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Speaker 1: of a cool different I was trying to look at

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Speaker 1: it like this is just a different season and it's

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Speaker 1: going to be over soon. But then reality starts to

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Speaker 1: set in and you start to think, Okay, this isn't

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Speaker 1: over yet, we don't see an end in sight. And

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Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, two you have all the

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Speaker 1: things that were going on in the world. It was

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Speaker 1: just almost like one thing after the other, and I

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Speaker 1: kept kind of being on survival. And I felt that

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Speaker 1: way because I felt like I had I have a

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Speaker 1: team of now thirty two, but at the time it

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Speaker 1: was like twenty seven people, and I was like, how

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Speaker 1: do I stay strong for them? How do I set

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Speaker 1: this example of thirty two employees? Yes, so you had

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Speaker 1: at that time terrifying Yeah, most often nines or W two's.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's part time except for me, and everyone had something else.

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Speaker 1: There was a couple that didn't, so I just made

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Speaker 1: sure that I reached out to them first. But I'm

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Speaker 1: really good at taking care of other people. I'm not

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Speaker 1: good at taking care of myself, and I think that

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Speaker 1: as a too. On the indiogram has been one of

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Speaker 1: my biggest lessons as a in my mid to later twenties,

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Speaker 1: was like, what are my needs? Because I can figure

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Speaker 1: out everyone else is and I'm an impath, so I

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Speaker 1: can feel everybody around me, and I overthink and over

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Speaker 1: feel sometimes, but then if I don't take time to

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Speaker 1: really figure out how I feel, then that gets me

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Speaker 1: on that like autopilot num survival mode that in times

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Speaker 1: can be really beneficial because it can help you get

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Speaker 1: through it, but then you get through at the end

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Speaker 1: of it, and then all of a sudden, I broke,

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Speaker 1: like I broke at the end of towards Christmas beginning

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Speaker 1: of this year, hardest six weeks in my life because

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Speaker 1: I was finally feeling all of the repercussions. Financially, It's

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Speaker 1: been a ship storm, you know, for me personally because

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Speaker 1: running a business and I'm fully paid through the business,

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Speaker 1: and as you know, as a business owner, like you

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Speaker 1: are based on your bottom line. So if your bottom

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Speaker 1: line is crap, like you don't get paid that month

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Speaker 1: and so then I didn't give you the next month,

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Speaker 1: and then you're like, oh my gosh, Like the stress

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Speaker 1: just continues to a compound and in an industry and

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Speaker 1: a role where I have to be positive, it's really hard.

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Speaker 1: When we talk about this a lot, just you know,

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Speaker 1: when we're not recording even podcasts of like how do

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Speaker 1: we maintain our authenticity and be real? But then how

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Speaker 1: do we also have our head held high and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do this because I gotta do this.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get up and I gotta teach a class

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Speaker 1: even though I feel like I want to go cry

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Speaker 1: in the back. You know, Okay, let's talk about this,

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Speaker 1: because what you're explaining is I think I felt more

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Speaker 1: of this in the beginning of the pandemic. My m

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Speaker 1: O was, I'm fine, I really am going to be fine.

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Speaker 1: I need to figure out how to support my clients

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Speaker 1: because I can't see them in person. So let's figure

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Speaker 1: out this telehealth stuff. How do we make it feel real?

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Speaker 1: How do we make it work? Because you're going also

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Speaker 1: going through a pandemic in the sense of like your

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Speaker 1: business is changing, but your life is changing. The way

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Speaker 1: that we connect to people is changing, like just relationships

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Speaker 1: in general, which is like what life is built off of.

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Speaker 1: That's changing. So your compartmentalizing of like I got to

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Speaker 1: do this business thing and keep these people afloat, and

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Speaker 1: then it's like the after math. It reminds me of

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Speaker 1: like six is on the Insiagram. One of the things

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Speaker 1: that they do is they can get through a crisis

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Speaker 1: really really well because they planned for it. So they're

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Speaker 1: ready and they go and they don't decompensate until after

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Speaker 1: the crisis is like, is kind of fixed. And that's

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Speaker 1: what it sounds like you're talking about. It's like I

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Speaker 1: figured it out fast forward. You open a brand new studio,

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Speaker 1: like you went from a temporary spot to a new,

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Speaker 1: beautiful studio. I will say if I knew nothing. It

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Speaker 1: looks on the outside like you've had the best year

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Speaker 1: of your life, and it didn't feel that well, it didn't.

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Speaker 1: So what happened and at the end of what did that?

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Speaker 1: You don't have to give details about what did that

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Speaker 1: look like for you? It was like it felt like

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Speaker 1: I had been hit by a train. And it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like I didn't want to get out of bed because

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Speaker 1: I love my life. I love I have the most

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Speaker 1: incredible friends and family, and I truly love my job.

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Speaker 1: It just felt like my body was starting to shut down.

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Speaker 1: I actually got a kidney infection and I had all

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Speaker 1: all of my levels in my my d three like

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Speaker 1: everything was just like gone, it was shot. And so

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Speaker 1: I was like my doctor said, if you don't work

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Speaker 1: on this, like you're going to be in the hospital.

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Speaker 1: And my family is very you know, they're like you're

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Speaker 1: a little underweight or your little this, and and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I I know all these things. I'm aware of all

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Speaker 1: these things. I can't help it because I've had one

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Speaker 1: hell of a year and there's just been trying to

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Speaker 1: learn how to give myself grace and then get back up.

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Speaker 1: And I am not one to fake it. So like,

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Speaker 1: if you come into my class and I've had a

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Speaker 1: really crappy day, I'm not going to put that on you,

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Speaker 1: but my class is going to be a little bit

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Speaker 1: more edgy and a little bit more angry because I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's how I process everything, and so full

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Speaker 1: right has been a lifeline for me. But yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you look at my life the last it's like, wow,

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Speaker 1: you've had the best year of your life. You opened

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Speaker 1: up your dream studio and it was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: did it and I didn't really have another choice, and

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Speaker 1: I'm so blessed and so grateful, And it's it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like the showcase of like I talked about this

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Speaker 1: with Amy, but um and just anyone that asks of like,

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Speaker 1: I'm a believer. So it's like literally the representation of

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Speaker 1: like what you do when you put your faith in

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Speaker 1: something that's so much bigger than you, and then you

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Speaker 1: have a really incredible army of people. But at the

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Speaker 1: same time, that is the dangers of and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: we'll get to this of social media, which I also

407
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Speaker 1: tried to avoid of like it's not always perfect. So

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Speaker 1: sometimes like we opened this new beautiful studio and I

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Speaker 1: didn't even know it was going It happened so quick,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I wasn't looking for it, and we

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Speaker 1: were trying to find a new space. This one became

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Speaker 1: available and we had to fight for that space. There

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Speaker 1: was like four other studios, really well known I don't

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Speaker 1: know the names. I'm pretty sure Core Power was one

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Speaker 1: of them, but nationally recognized brands that wanted the space

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Speaker 1: that we're in. And I had to pitch to the

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Speaker 1: landlord why I was worthy trying to do that, showing

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Speaker 1: them our balance sheet and being like, yeah, we're cash funded,

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Speaker 1: we're not a franchise, there's no investor. Here's my person.

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Speaker 1: I had to put my personal financials out. I had

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Speaker 1: to put it like talk about just like vulnerability of

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Speaker 1: like please choose me because this is kind of like

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Speaker 1: my last hope. I don't truly know what we would

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Speaker 1: have done if I didn't get this space. And the

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Speaker 1: landlord was like, I've asked around, I've stalked to you

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Speaker 1: on social media, I've stocked your business, Like I love

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Speaker 1: what you're about. I'm gonna take a chance on you.

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Speaker 1: Let's do this. And I was like, thank you Jesus,

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Speaker 1: like that that stuff doesn't just happen. So it's been

430
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 1: a mixture of like the hardest year of my life

431
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: and then there's been so many gifts, but I've had

432
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: to go through it and then feeling like you're hit

433
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 1: by a train because I am just a process or

434
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 1: I process after, you know, And that's what I felt like.

435
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: January kind of was was like it was a rough

436
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: month because I was processing and actually feeling all of

437
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: it's legitimately like PTSD. Yeah, I think a lot of

438
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: people think about it's probably more along the lines of

439
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 1: complex PTSD because people think of post trauntic stress dis

440
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 1: sort of as something that happens when there's this one thing,

441
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 1: like there's an assault, or maybe you went to a war,

442
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 1: or you had a something just big, one time thing

443
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 1: but you had repeated I wouldn't even call it like

444
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 1: a little are you familiar with little T big tea trauma,

445
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 1: Yes from you. I don't know that I would even

446
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: call a little T because it feels like it was

447
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 1: just a bunch of like weird big teas that you

448
00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 1: weren't realizing. We're traumatic becau as I was saying this

449
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 1: to a client the other day. Our bodies and our

450
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 1: brains and and how we were created, we were not

451
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: created to live in the world that we're living in now,

452
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: or we haven't been trained to because if you look,

453
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 1: and I mean if you go back to the beginning

454
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 1: of time, our bodies and our brains all worked in

455
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 1: different ways. But in the in the period of time

456
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 1: that we grew up in and we were living in

457
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: this pandemic life, is not how we were trained and

458
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,159
Speaker 1: how our bodies know how to work, even from the

459
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: little things as masks in the sense of like we

460
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 1: get something from going into a public place and being

461
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 1: able to see somebody's face from facial expression, and we're

462
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: now having to learn how to get that same response

463
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: through eyes, and like some of us are like it

464
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: makes me think of like maybe we just have getting

465
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: botox so we can be working, but like really like

466
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: it's the littlest things affect us, and we don't realize

467
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 1: it because our world is just like go, go, go,

468
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: do do do a lot of what I've seen businesses

469
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: and me too, but my business is a little bit different.

470
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: Is that, Like it's how do we be successful through this?

471
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 1: Like how do we make the most money through this?

472
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: Or how do we come out on top through this?

473
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,640
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's important because we need to make money

474
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: to live, but also it's like, well, how are we

475
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: caring for ourselves through this? Because we have had to

476
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 1: restructure our lives. It sounds easy just to go out

477
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: to dinner with a bunch of friends on the weekend,

478
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 1: Like you can go out to dinner with like five people,

479
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 1: So so then you're just staying in because you don't

480
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 1: want to leave somebody out, And then like can't is

481
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: that safe to even be with people? And then everybody's anxieties?

482
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: We can just go ago. But so for you, what

483
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: did you learn that you needed to like restructure in

484
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 1: the way you were living at the end of this

485
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,199
Speaker 1: year because you're realizing, holy crap, I haven't taken care

486
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: of myself. Yeah, I wouldn't even say that, it's that

487
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:48,120
Speaker 1: you weren't even showing up as like authentic on social media,

488
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: which we'll get into. You weren't even really on it much.

489
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: What did you learn that you needed? Where did you

490
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: have to readjust? I mean, this is in the now

491
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: and now. Man. I think the biggest lesson that I

492
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,239
Speaker 1: learned was you have to truly take life one day

493
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: at a time. I'm very type A. I'm a perfectionist.

494
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: I love to plan everything, and I think I just

495
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 1: learned like I could prepare as best as humanly possible

496
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: and the next day another I call it a punch

497
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: in the gut or being signed swiped, you know, and

498
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: that would happen every day. So I think I started

499
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: to just learn like you are going to have ship

500
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 1: storms every day or every week. Something is going to

501
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: go wrong, something is going to happen. And I'm actually

502
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 1: reading a book now because one of my best friends

503
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: told me she needed She's like, you need to start

504
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 1: reading this book. I was like, what is She's like,

505
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 1: get the subtle art of not giving a fu I

506
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 1: have a part of my friends you haven't. I started

507
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: reading it and it's blowing my mind because it's not

508
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 1: about always being positive, Like you don't need to fake

509
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 1: it till you make it and be positive and everything

510
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: is happy. I don't get along with people like that.

511
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: It's more of like it's all about how you deal

512
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: with adversity and how you face every challenge head on.

513
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 1: And so I think that is what taught me, is

514
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: like I can be prepared as I want to, but

515
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: I have to also be willing to be like how

516
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: big is this problem? Am I going to make a

517
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: mountain out of this mole hill? Or you know, am

518
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: I going to just go This is another thing that

519
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: I just need to get through okay, which brings us

520
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: into the whole idea I want to talk about, like

521
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 1: competition and like success and all that. I love that

522
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: because I had to be honest. I haven't read that book.

523
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: I had it and I gave it to a client,

524
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: and then a client read it and now she's letting

525
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: me borrow it, but I haven't open take but she's

526
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 1: read some excerpts from it, and I get the gist

527
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 1: of it. But in the society we are in, and

528
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: even like working in fitness, I think there is an

529
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: expectation and being the face of a business too, there's

530
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 1: an expectation one to live up to, and it can

531
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 1: be different based on what realm you're in. And there's

532
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: also this idea of like competition and this could be

533
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: any industry, but this is the industry we're talking about.

534
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: I don't feel this as much as in the therapy

535
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 1: industry because we're therapists and we're just like, I don't

536
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: know a nice people, well not all of us, but

537
00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 1: like so, but it was like throwing elbows this last

538
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 1: year because everybody is struggling, so everybody's freaking out, and

539
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: I have this belief that like there is room for

540
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: like everybody to be successful, especially in a place like natural.

541
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,239
Speaker 1: Yeah it's not huge, you know, it's not like an

542
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: l Are, New York, where like you can have a

543
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: studio in every corner and they couldn't be full, but

544
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: every there is room for so many different types of

545
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: movement in Nashville. And same like restaurants, there's room for

546
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: different kinds of restaurants. Like I don't know, I don't

547
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: work in the restaurant industry. What's the inside of the

548
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 1: natural fitness industry feel like to you? Or the fitness industry?

549
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 1: It feels nasty. Yeah, it feels nasty, and I'll tell

550
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: you why, because I think it's a big city in

551
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 1: a small town, and I think people can be very vicious,

552
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: and I think kind of what you were saying about

553
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: everyone is struggling, everyone is grasping for something. I think

554
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: when people start to do well and be successful, other

555
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: people want to tear you down. And I think it

556
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: goes back to when we were kids in middle school.

557
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: You know, I was picked on all the time. The

558
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: older girls would grow are at me on the playground,

559
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: and I remember going to my mom and being like why,

560
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: Like I didn't do anything, it was because this, you know,

561
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: the boy that she liked, liked me or something crazy,

562
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: and it was like my mom was like, you don't

563
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: say one bad word. You keep your mouth shut so

564
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: that they don't have anything bad to ever say about you.

565
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: And if they ever do, it's just we know that

566
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: it's not true. Because I have learned that if you

567
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: say really bad things about people and you try to

568
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: tear people down, you're writing your own script. And it

569
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: might take a year, it might take two years, but

570
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,959
Speaker 1: that will come back around. And I saw that throughout

571
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: my childhood and middle school and being even bullied in

572
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: high school and just girls being mean. And I think

573
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: girls were mean to me throughout most of great school

574
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: and honestly into college to where I was like, this

575
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 1: is this is really hard. And then it's really taught

576
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: me how to deal with that. And it taught me

577
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: how to deal with people saying bad things about me,

578
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: even if it wasn't justified, even if it was not

579
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: even true, and it would drive me crazy until now

580
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: it does. I'm just learning to not let it bother

581
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: me anymore. But I have noticed that for Ride is

582
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: doing really really well right now, and I have notice

583
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: that other studios do not like that. And so what

584
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: I've learned from my mother when I was a kid

585
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: is like, you just don't say anything. You keep your

586
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 1: head held high, and you you just show them by

587
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: your work ethic. But I will say, the fitness industry

588
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 1: in Nashville right now to me feels nasty and I

589
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: hate that I have to say that, And that's just

590
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: my most honest answer, and that's just from like similar

591
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: other formats. I would not say that about, you know,

592
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: a bootcamp kind of style class. I wouldn't say that

593
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 1: about like a yoga studio, But I would say in

594
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: the cycling world, specifically in Nashville, for me, competition drives

595
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 1: my work ethics. So if you come into town, cool, great,

596
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: come to Nashville, like open up a psycho studio, watch

597
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: me work harder than you. And I don't mean that

598
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: out of like you're not welcome here. It's just like, oh,

599
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: you're driving me to want to work harder. And that's

600
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 1: a great thing. It drives business, It drives I mean,

601
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: it's just everybody ends up being better exactly. It's like

602
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: you push me to want to be better. Thanks for coming,

603
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: you know, because if there was no competition, there was

604
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 1: no way for you to be not as much motivation

605
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 1: to get better and learn. And you know, I don't

606
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: know if I've even said this on the podcast, but

607
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: it's worth saying again. The generation that we're in has

608
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: one of the highest cohorts of narcissism ever. And it's

609
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: because of this, I think. And we grew up in

610
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: a very like, well meaning but in a era where

611
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: self esteem was really being driven home, where like we

612
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 1: wanted to build everybody's self esteem or the issue is

613
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 1: self esteem, it's it's the way it's been taught to us.

614
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 1: It's very outward focused. So I get self esteem if

615
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 1: I get the highest grade on the test. Or have

616
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: highest self esteem if I'm one of the prettiest girls

617
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: in the class, or if I'm dating the cutest boy

618
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: or the cutest girl, or I have the nicest car

619
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: and everybody's complimenting me on it. If you notice the

620
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 1: way I'm I'm saying those things, it's the best at everything.

621
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: It's like the top. So we get self esteem when

622
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: we reach the top. The issue is not everybody can

623
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 1: be at the top. If we're talking about I, I

624
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: feel smart and I have self esteem in and how

625
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: smart I am. If I get the highest grade in

626
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: the class, well guess what, only one kid is getting

627
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: that great. So what we do to survive is we

628
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: try to push people down so we can get to

629
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: the top. And so that's why bullying has become an issue.

630
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,479
Speaker 1: And that's why I think we have this highest cohort

631
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: of narcissism, because we're taught that to feel good about you,

632
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: you have to be the best. And that's just like

633
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 1: not true. We were talking right before this that like

634
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: what's wrong with just being average? Like what's wrong with

635
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: just like not being like everybody else in the sense

636
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: of assimilating to other people's beliefs and ideas. But like

637
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: just being as good as a person next to you

638
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: and not having to be better, faster, stronger, smarter. I

639
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 1: had a horrid which I don't ever use that word,

640
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: and that word came out about horrid experience of like

641
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: bullying in elementary school and middle school. And I don't

642
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: know that I was really bullied in high school, but

643
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: it was more like I I held onto that those

644
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: things that people have said as like true, and so

645
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: I just felt like crap for a long time. And

646
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: that's one of the reasons I am the way I

647
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 1: am as a therapist but also as a cycling instructor,

648
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: because I don't want anybody to feel like they're worth

649
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: more than the person on the bike next to them, exactly.

650
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: And you said that in Class two, and I love it.

651
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: It's so true. It's so true. But yeah, I think

652
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: that even if we take that concept and just put

653
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: it tangibly in just the business world, everybody is just

654
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: trying to get a leg up on everybody, and it

655
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: doesn't make for a very happy community. I had one

656
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 1: of my girls send me a message once because I've

657
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: been battling some things of just other studios kind of

658
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: saying some things about me and are full ride. And

659
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: it's not none of it's even true, But she was

660
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: just kind of saying, like, being a leader, you have

661
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: to take a lot of that on. It's even biblical.

662
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: It's like they're going to come at you, you know.

663
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: And and and that's just gonna almost like the better

664
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: that you do, or the harder that you work, or

665
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: the more success that you whatever you deem success, Um

666
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: what if you have it, people want it, you know. Now,

667
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: I'd really try to protect myself and surround myself with

668
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: people who who are happy for the business and happy

669
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: for the team and happy for me. And and that's

670
00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: really what I pay attention to. And I really try

671
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: to block a lot of that other, that other stuff out.

672
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: But that's kind of why I say that we're nasty,

673
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: because other people don't really see that as success. You

674
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: know that they see you successful, then they're not successful.

675
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: It's kind of like what you're talking about, Like no, no, no,

676
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: Like full right can be successful, and so can this

677
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: other studio, and so can this other studio. We might

678
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: just be different. Our success might look different. Doesn't necessarily

679
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: mean that it's better than your success because you don't

680
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: know my piano right, I don't know your piano. I

681
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: don't know how you run the back end of your business,

682
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: and that's not my that's not my business, you know.

683
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: So I think trying to look at that and having

684
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: a healthy perspective, but again, you're not responsible for how

685
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: people feel, you know what I mean, And so I can't, like,

686
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: no matter what I do. It's like I could try

687
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: to be the which I try to be the best

688
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: person I can possibly be um and the kindness person

689
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: and not say anything bad about anybody and do all

690
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: those things, and still people are going to say bad things.

691
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: And I think you just have to kind of go

692
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: all right, like you're not my people. That's cool when

693
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: you're also human. So I think that this like idea

694
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: that it's really really hard to like shut your mouth

695
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: when some but he is saying something hurtful because I'm

696
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: just thinking about the people listening and them thinking about

697
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: the areas in their life where they've I mean, it's

698
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: all we're talking about is competition in comparison, and we're

699
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: human and we're bound to say something that maybe we

700
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: we are in the moment. I mean, I have people

701
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: in here that will just like go off and they're like,

702
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm such a bad person. Like no,

703
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: you're not, they're not. And also this gets to stay here,

704
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: so it's not like you're going I don't, don't. I'm

705
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: not saying you're saying anything, but like, if you have

706
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: I just want people to know if you have those

707
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: moments where you just like these things come out of

708
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 1: your mouth and you're like, what did I just say?

709
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: That's very human. Just check in with that of like

710
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: what's what's being threatened or or what feels scary or

711
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: or what are you trying to get out of that,

712
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: and then take care of it. But I just want

713
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: people to know that, like that's a muscle that has

714
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: to be built of, like not going back at people

715
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: that kind of come for you for lack of muscle.

716
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: I want to know, at the end of the year,

717
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: looking back, what do you feel like you really had

718
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: to reevaluate and adjust in your life in terms of

719
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: how you care for yourself and relationships. Because all of

720
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: what we've talked about kind of is encompassing how the

721
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: pandemic affected you and then how the fitness industry kind

722
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: of shifted and how that affected you. So how do

723
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: you not pushed back, But how do you cope with

724
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: that and how do you move the way you're going

725
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 1: towards life in response to all of that stuff. I

726
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: mean you're in the middle of doing that. Yeah, I

727
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: mean I feel like I'm in the middle of that.

728
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: I am a huge goal oriented person. I'm kind of

729
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: like if I gotta, I'm a journalist. I love to

730
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: write it down, so I would say, like using as

731
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: fuel and as a reminder of how precious this life

732
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: is and how quickly it can change, and how change

733
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 1: is always a good thing. There's something that I've seen

734
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: in my class all the time, and it's always that

735
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,959
Speaker 1: your good days are your hard days and their heart

736
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,719
Speaker 1: because they're good, and vice versa. I think that if

737
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: any of us were handed let's say a relationship. Let's say,

738
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: kad I met this guy. He's perfect for you. He

739
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: literally wants to be your boyfriend. He wants to mar

740
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 1: you tomorrow. You'd be like, you need to go away,

741
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: like I don't believe you. And because it was handed

742
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: to you, and like you didn't have to work for it,

743
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 1: you don't. You don't believe it. You don't believe that

744
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: it's actually good because you didn't have to work for it.

745
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: So for me, I actually had to work harder than

746
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: I've ever worked in my life for not only my business,

747
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 1: but my relationship with my boyfriend of three and half years,

748
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: who I loved to death. Like we had to work

749
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: really hard at our relationship. We saw each other every day.

750
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: His business he's in sales and like he was. I mean,

751
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: he's blessed and he's okay, and like we have been,

752
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: you know, so thankful for where we're at now, but

753
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: like you know, we had to like navigate that together.

754
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: My relationships with my friends, like the friends that I

755
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 1: lost honestly that I'm no longer as close with because

756
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: of a pandemic, because it kind of made me realize,

757
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: like I only have this tiny bit of room for

758
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: for X number of people, and so it's not to

759
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 1: anyone's fault. It's just like these are the people that

760
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: I'm going to choose now to spend time with. So

761
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: in my mind, I've always been like I've got to

762
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 1: learn the hard way, and I really have to earn

763
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: things in my life. And I don't mean it in

764
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 1: the sense of like I gotta work for every good thing,

765
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: but when I work for it. It just I care

766
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: for it so much better. Yeah, And so I think

767
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:23,919
Speaker 1: that's what refocusing my year fore is, Like my health

768
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: is a huge priority just because I didn't pay attention

769
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: to it last year because I didn't have capacity for it,

770
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 1: but also to like kind of just being prepared for anything.

771
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: And one of my goals now is just really to

772
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,800
Speaker 1: figure out how I can give more attention to the

773
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,720
Speaker 1: things that matter and less attention to the tiny little

774
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: things that not me that I think, not any person,

775
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: you know, the tiny little annoyances in in somebody or

776
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: something or some situation, and try to just go, you

777
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: know what, like I don't even think about those things,

778
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: and just focus on the bigger picture, um, and not

779
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: be so goal oriented and not be so driven to

780
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: the point where if I don't hit that, I'm going

781
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 1: to be disappointed. So I look at in a way

782
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: of like I hope we I hope we get back

783
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: to life, to normal life as quick as possible. But

784
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 1: I also kind of hope it's something that us as

785
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: a society, we don't forget what it's like to you know,

786
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: the luxury of not having to wear a mask, you know.

787
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: I hope we walk into a bar one day and go, man,

788
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: remember when we had to wear masks, Like, aren't we

789
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: so grateful we don't have to wear masks anymore. The

790
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 1: way that I look at fitness, like when we got

791
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: to come back after COVID, Like I cried during my

792
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: first class. I never cry. I just like had tears

793
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: and I had to pull the microphone away because I

794
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: was like, this is why I do what I do.

795
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 1: I hope I never forget this feeling. And so looking

796
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: back and being like, I'm so grateful that I survived,

797
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: truly survived, and not just me, I know every single

798
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: person's listening or around, it's like, yes, you survive. You

799
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: survived probably the hardest year of your life. And then

800
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 1: taking all those lessons and just implementing them into your

801
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: your new way of life, and knowing that you're human.

802
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 1: You're going to make mistakes, you might forget your goals.

803
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 1: I mean it's February and I already forgot my goals

804
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: for one. I like I got to go back and

805
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: a journal and read what I wrote down. But like, again,

806
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: that's a human thing, right, So I think it's just

807
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 1: giving myself more grace and really knowing, like perspective is everything.

808
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: I like what you were saying about not having room

809
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 1: for everybody in your life, and I'm going to say

810
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: this through the perspective before I knew you, So it's

811
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 1: not bad if I were to judge you. And of course,

812
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 1: just everybody knows, we all judge everybody. It's just what

813
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: we do. Our brains judge everything we see. We see something,

814
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,800
Speaker 1: we make a judgment. What we do with that judgment's

815
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: very important. And so when I say judge, when I

816
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 1: would judge you, it wouldn't be like, oh, I'm looking judgment,

817
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: it's just my judgment of you. Judgments can be good.

818
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: It was that through the pandemic, I guess I have

819
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 1: no idea of what it would be like to run

820
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 1: this kind of business, But it was that like you

821
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 1: were fine, or that like I assumed that it was hard,

822
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: but like that you were going to be fine. I

823
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 1: didn't really think about like the stress of it. I

824
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 1: thought you guys were thriving. Your online forum looked incredible,

825
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 1: and so to me looking at that, I'm like, oh,

826
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: Kenzie Todd's freaking killing it this year, Like she's not

827
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: having a hard time. So that says one to like

828
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 1: the power of social media, which we're going to talk about.

829
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 1: And two, I like what you said about not having

830
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 1: room for everything, because if I were to look at you,

831
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: I would never have the judgment I made was never like, oh,

832
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: she must really have to be careful with like her

833
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 1: time and how she spends it, in the energy she

834
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 1: puts some things. It's like she has it all. And

835
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: I think that we as a collective society a lot

836
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 1: of times get with the judgment part in the comparison.

837
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: We think, well, we need to have it all too,

838
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: because that's what happiness looks like. And it is okay

839
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: to scale back. It is okay to have less, and

840
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: I mean like less money if you can still survive

841
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: and pay your bills, less friends, less of the material things,

842
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: less like all that stuff. It's okay to have less.

843
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: We live in a very more and more and more big, big,

844
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: big world. And I'm grateful that you said that part

845
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: about the friends, because it is okay to have a

846
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: very small circle of people. We don't need a million friends.

847
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 1: It's almost better, honestly, to have less. You know those

848
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 1: are exactly they're going to know who you really are.

849
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: I do not do well with service conversation I do

850
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 1: not do well with relationships that are like how you doing,

851
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: I'm good? Okay, yeah, good are you? Yeah? And that

852
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 1: like that's it. I'm like, we should get coffee. We're

853
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 1: never gonna come. We're never gonna get coffee. And I

854
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: actually tell people now actually and I tell them, hey,

855
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: like I'll get Instagram messages. I get a lot of

856
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: people wanting to know how I started my studio or

857
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: can I pick your brain on this? And and I

858
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: honestly just want to start writing blog posts for those

859
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 1: people of like here's what I do. But like I

860
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 1: genuinely tell them, I'm so flattered. I do not have time.

861
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: It's not a priority right now, you know. And I

862
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: and I'm really honest with them. But also even the

863
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: friends that I was really really close to that I'm

864
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: no longer as close to. It's kind of just like

865
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: it's a different season of my life. And I like

866
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 1: to be honest with that. But it's I have probably

867
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: one on one hand I can count the people that

868
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: know my true, true, true heart that I spend a

869
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: lot of time with, and that's everyday life with them.

870
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: And I'd rather be able to do daily life with

871
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 1: people and have them really really know me. It just

872
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 1: I feel it's like that Tim Keller quote of like

873
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: to being known and to being loved, you know, and

874
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: like to being loved and like the difference between what's

875
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 1: superficial love and real love, but to be fully known

876
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 1: and like deeply loved. Like that he's talking more romantically.

877
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: But I think about that quote as as friendships, and

878
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 1: I feel like to be known, fully known, and fully loved,

879
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: so that means they know all the horrible parts about me.

880
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: I call it the ugly side of Keenzie. They know

881
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: that and they still love it, and they still choose me. Anyways,

882
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: If you can have five friends at like that, oh

883
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: my gosh, you are so lucky, you know, you know

884
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: that makes me think about I listened to Annie f

885
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: Downs Angiogram series, and I think this is where I

886
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: heard it, and I want to say it was when

887
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: they were talking about threes, but I could be totally wrong,

888
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: but it was something along the lines of the quote

889
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: was probably isn't the wording, but this is with the

890
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: essence be authentic with everybody and transparent with few yes

891
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: yes where like I want you to talk about that

892
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: because your job doesn't work if you're fake. It just

893
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: doesn't like as a I mean, my job wouldn't work

894
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: with if I was fake either, like in any part

895
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 1: of my job. And so we have to show up

896
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: as very authentic and real people. But we cannot give

897
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: the insides of us to everybody. And even this conversation

898
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: is it's authentic and vulnerable, but it's not the deep,

899
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,479
Speaker 1: deep deep secrets that like we all have, Like those

900
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,240
Speaker 1: don't need to go to everybody. And we have another

901
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,919
Speaker 1: issue with intimacy in this world where like we think

902
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: that like intimacy is just giving all these people this

903
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: information and like one, it's not INTI intimacy is you

904
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: need time and information. But how do you show up

905
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 1: as authentic without being transparent and translucent? Even which one

906
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 1: is worth more translucent? Is that see through? Translucent is

907
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: like somewhat I think it's like more opaque and transparctent.

908
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know whatever one is like totally seen.

909
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: How do you how do you balance that? Because yes,

910
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,919
Speaker 1: we need to be saying no more and no one's

911
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: not mean, Like saying no is not mean. It is

912
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: totally okay to say I don't have that in me

913
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: right now, your health will decline, you know, and mental health,

914
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: physical health, So what is the balance? And I even

915
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 1: said this to you. I like to keep asking you

916
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: a question and keep talking, but I said this to

917
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: you after one of the classes that you taught. You

918
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,879
Speaker 1: said something about how you're having like a bad morning,

919
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 1: and I said, thank you for saying that, and then

920
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: you were like, well, how don't Sometimes I wonder how

921
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 1: much to share, and I'm like, you shared exactly enough

922
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: for it. I know you're struggling. I don't need to

923
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: know what it is, but I'm also struggling, and it

924
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: makes me feel I feel connected and I feel like

925
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: you're real because you don't show up as a you

926
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: don't show up as a perfect person. No, I don't

927
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: ever want to. And so how do you balance that?

928
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: Because everybody wants peace of you too, Yeah, and that

929
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: it's it's honestly like probably one of my biggest struggles.

930
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: I will say when I am and when I wear

931
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 1: a lot of different hats obviously, and when I am,

932
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: I think the hardest thing is being an instructor and

933
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: being on the instructor team and then also being the

934
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 1: owner of the business. And so when I am coming

935
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 1: in to teach a class, I I really try to

936
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 1: visualize my instructor cap and when the doors close, I

937
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: I feel freedom to say whatever, because as a really

938
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: great instructor makes you dig down really really deep. But

939
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 1: it's not ever about the instructor, It's about the rider.

940
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 1: So I get up and sometimes I'll share like personal stories,

941
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: They'll be really anecdotal, to'll be very very quick and

942
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: short and sweet. Um. But then I always flip it

943
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: on the rider right so that I can make that

944
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: connection say hey, I'm going through this, or I've struggled

945
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: with my I've looked at myself differently, with my body,

946
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: whatever it is, and then turn it on and back

947
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 1: on the rider. When the door opens up and crosses over,

948
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 1: I have more of a guard up. I'm there to

949
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: say hey, I'm there to talk to people if they

950
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: want to pull me inside, which happens all the time,

951
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm super real and honest with them. But again, like

952
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 1: I'm back to like okay, now I'm back to being

953
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: the business owner and make sure the next class starts

954
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: on time. So I have to move from hat to

955
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: hat super quickly, and I've had to learn how to

956
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: be in a way. I try to vision like the

957
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 1: most authentic yet best version of Kinsey every single time,

958
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: and that keeps me on track for who I want

959
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,919
Speaker 1: to continue to represent when I'm in the studio, because

960
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: I am the owner and I am technically the boss,

961
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: and I am the person that my twenty two year

962
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 1: old front desk girls are looking at in hard situations

963
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: or you know, if a client comes up and isn't

964
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 1: very nice to to one of my girls, it's like

965
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: a mama there and I'm there, so again, like so

966
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: many different hats, but I will say, um, I use

967
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: the word self preservation, and I use that word with

968
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: like how much I want to give of myself. I

969
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 1: think people feel a level of access to instructors, and

970
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: I know you experiences too, of like Cat is speaking

971
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: to my soul and then therefore she's going to become

972
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: my best friend. And then there is that pressure you

973
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: know to like to to want to do that for everyone,

974
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,439
Speaker 1: but just knowing that you can't. And so I think

975
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 1: it's just being able to be like as real as

976
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: possible in the room and then after when you're outside

977
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 1: of the room. The way that I do that too

978
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 1: is I say a no to a lot of social events.

979
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: I don't really. I love my clients, I don't really

980
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: hang out with a lot of them outside of the studio.

981
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: I don't really I hang out with some team members,

982
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: not all of them. You're one of them. I can't

983
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 1: wait to get wine up to that um and sharing

984
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: things with you. It's I kind of just go based

985
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 1: on my gut kind of like, and I tend to

986
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: be drawn to people who are in similar life seasons

987
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: as me and and carry similar weightloads as me, because

988
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: it's really easy for me to then feel known by somebody.

989
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: So I kind of pick and choose who I'm going

990
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 1: to really spend quality time with, and then I'm still

991
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: there and I'm still authentic and real, but you just

992
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 1: won't see me as much. And I've had to learn

993
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 1: again kind of saying I say this in class of

994
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: the time, but like you're in charge of your you're no,

995
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: and you're in control you're yes. And so that balance

996
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: is going to be probably one I'm going to need

997
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: to learn for the rest of my life, which has

998
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: to be hard as to it rips me apart because

999
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: it's not that it's not that you're ever like, I

1000
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: don't want to be friends with these people it's or

1001
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to connect with these people. It's like

1002
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 1: I don't have the capacity. I don't have the capacity.

1003
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: It's actually a struggle that Michael and I, my boyfriend

1004
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 1: and I for the first year of our relationship. He's

1005
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: a huge extrovert and I'm a huge introvert and he's

1006
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: a seven. So he's like, let's go have fun and

1007
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 1: everything is good and let's not talk about our feelings.

1008
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: And then I'm like over here, like I'm not connected

1009
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: with you. I needed to tell me how you feel.

1010
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: You know. It's just like, oh my gosh, blesses her.

1011
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: But I don't have the capacity because I know that

1012
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 1: if I say and it's not that I don't want

1013
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 1: to a lot of times I do want to go

1014
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 1: do things with people. It's just like I honestly don't

1015
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: have the capacity because I will be so drained. And

1016
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: I think that's why my my energy levels are off

1017
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 1: the ever since I became an instructor, because I lay

1018
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: everything out there when I'm teaching, you know, not just physically,

1019
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 1: but like emotionally, you're just like pouring your heart out.

1020
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 1: You're connecting with people on this incredible, like just magical level.

1021
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: And then you're drained after. So it's just like it's

1022
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: truly not how in the capacity I told Michael when

1023
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 1: we started dating, and I want you to envision like

1024
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: a bucket and I'm happy to go do these things,

1025
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 1: but there's like X number of items in my bucket,

1026
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: and every time we go do something, you're pulling it

1027
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: at them out of my bucket. So it's like, I'll

1028
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: go to the bar with you with your friends if

1029
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: you're willing to take out a thing from my bucket

1030
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,320
Speaker 1: and know that I'm gonna need to be by myself

1031
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna need to restore, you know, later this

1032
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: weekend or whatever it is. And just being able to

1033
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 1: put language behind that will allow for for you whoever

1034
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: is listening to like understand that it's okay that you

1035
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: don't have the energy that your friend does. It's really

1036
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 1: important and it is like the words sake, your bucket

1037
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 1: is sacred, sacred. I'm thinking here as like I stopped

1038
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 1: teaching this year. One of the reasons was COVID and

1039
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: I didn't feel that at a certain time when I

1040
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 1: was trying to meet with my clients in person, I

1041
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 1: didn't feel like it was fair for me to go

1042
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: and be out in public a lot, and so that's

1043
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: one of the reasons I stepped away one of them.

1044
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 1: And then I started writing at your studio, and I

1045
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: had literally negative intentions, like in the sense of negative

1046
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 1: intentions of teaching again, like if that actually made sense,

1047
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: Like I had no thought in my mind that I

1048
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: wanted to go back to do that because it was

1049
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: one of the hardest years of my life in the

1050
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: sense of the energy output I was giving and also

1051
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: having to work on my own because I'm going through

1052
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: the pandemic while my clients are, so I have to

1053
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm professing my stuff so then I

1054
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: can show it for them. And I did it fine,

1055
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,359
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't. I made it through, and I think

1056
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: that my clients, we all made it through. But I

1057
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 1: that was one of my things that became mine again

1058
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: of working out and movement, and I got to go

1059
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: in and be the client, which I had hadn't done

1060
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 1: in years, and I had to really think about I

1061
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 1: remember the first time Shanna asked me if I was

1062
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: thinking about teaching again, I said no, and then I

1063
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 1: was like, well, I think a month later maybe I

1064
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: was like, well, if I could teach one class, and

1065
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: then like a month later, I was like, what would

1066
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: you too? And then because I had to really think

1067
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: about is this worth it for me to give this

1068
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: energy here? And if I'm going to give energy here,

1069
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: I have to take energy away from another spot in

1070
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 1: my life. And I have to in my energy is sacred,

1071
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: and my my space and my time is sacred. And

1072
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: so I had to rethink, I can't be the cat

1073
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: that was at the other studio, that was like always

1074
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 1: there and always stayed after and would be at every

1075
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: single event and if somebody needed something I was. That's

1076
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: not a cat in this new realm. It's like so

1077
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: much self awareness, you know, it really is for you

1078
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: to know that. And I feel like that I'm not

1079
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: the friend I was. I'm not as good to a

1080
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: friend as I used to be. I'm a really good

1081
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 1: friend to a few people. I'm not a good friend

1082
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: to fifteen people. I'm just not because I can't. Because

1083
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: I before I fall asleep, I'm thinking about, Okay, did

1084
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 1: I pay all the bills? Are we on track of

1085
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 1: the piano? Did I run this okay? Yep? Okay? Good? Good?

1086
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,439
Speaker 1: How's Michael? Okay? My boyfriend? Okay? Is my brother good,

1087
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: my family. But I used to beat myself up so much,

1088
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 1: used to wonder why I used to be such an

1089
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: intentional friend. I'd write hen, written car and check in

1090
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 1: with them, and if they wanted a date, I text

1091
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: them after. And like, I genuinely feel like I have

1092
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 1: short term memory loss, Like I'd forget so many things

1093
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 1: that I used to not forget, and then I would

1094
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: I would beat myself up about it when I was

1095
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 1: an early entrepreneur, in early stages of being a small

1096
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: business owner. And then I realized, kids, like you don't

1097
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: have the capacity. You can't do all things really really well.

1098
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 1: You can't be a really good friend and a really

1099
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 1: good business owner and a really good spin instructor and

1100
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: eat really really healthy and drink lots of water, like

1101
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 1: I don't drink. I have a Gatorade sitting right here

1102
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: that I have barely touched and it's three o'clock, you know,

1103
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 1: And like that's also me just probably needing to be

1104
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 1: taking care of myself a little bit blown up. Um.

1105
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: But I think having being able to have that self

1106
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 1: awareness that you were talking about it like, okay, just

1107
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 1: really assessing like I'm in something's going to have to

1108
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: give if I'm going to give over here. And I

1109
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 1: think that's also just being in our thirties now and realizing, like, okay,

1110
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: our twenties, we we earned our thirties. We learned a

1111
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: lot in our twenties of what we want to, what

1112
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: we love, what we don't love, who we want to be,

1113
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 1: and then our thirties it's like we could actually choose.

1114
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 1: And I'm actually finally okay with saying, yeah, I'm a

1115
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 1: great friend to a few people, and I'm a I'm

1116
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: a I'm gonna work really hard to be as best

1117
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 1: of a girlfriend and then future wife as I can be,

1118
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: and a really good business owner and and try to

1119
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,320
Speaker 1: be the best person I can be, but knowing that

1120
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 1: I have limitations that maybe other people don't, and that's okay.

1121
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: There's grief in that too. There's grief in like I know,

1122
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: for for me, I was always known as Cat has

1123
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 1: so many friends. Well that was me in my twenties,

1124
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: Cat so many friends. Cat and I still have a

1125
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: lot of friends. But there's grief in the sense that,

1126
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,479
Speaker 1: like I have to give certain parts of my life

1127
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 1: up for other parts to be successful, which is what

1128
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: you're talking about. I hate saying this, but like the

1129
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 1: idea that like we can have it all doesn't exist,

1130
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: not really like and I think that's it's kind of

1131
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: how I feel about when people say you can be

1132
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,800
Speaker 1: anything you want, Like I can't be a professional basketball player,

1133
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: Like I could never do that. I tried basketball and

1134
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 1: it wasn't for me. I can do a lot of

1135
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: great things, but there are we have limitations as humans,

1136
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:07,320
Speaker 1: and that is a hard thing for people to generally grasp.

1137
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: And there's grief in that. There is a grieving process

1138
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 1: in to be successful in in my business, which is

1139
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: what my priority is now, I have to let go

1140
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 1: of some things that might change later. And you might

1141
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: be grieving some things in business. But I'm so appreciative

1142
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: of you saying that, because I think a lot of humans,

1143
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 1: especially young people in their twenties and in early thirties,

1144
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: is like, it's so exciting. Life is so exciting, and

1145
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 1: I'm going to take it by what is it the

1146
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: phrase like take it by the horns, by the ball.

1147
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna go do all these things

1148
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,359
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be great, and I'm gonna it's gonna

1149
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,919
Speaker 1: look great on Instagram and all this stuff and really

1150
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 1: like your your twenties and thirties is like a kind

1151
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 1: of like choosing what's important to you and grieving the

1152
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: things that you can't have because not everything is going

1153
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 1: to fit. Yeah. I love that and everything is going

1154
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 1: to fit. Yeah. Some of the best advice I ever

1155
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 1: got when I remember I was like twenty four, twenty five,

1156
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, why is life so hard? Genuinely, like,

1157
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 1: am I ever going to be happy? Am I ever

1158
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 1: going to love my body? Am I ever going to

1159
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 1: have money? Like? What is going Why is this so hard?

1160
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 1: And one of my best friends said, who's about five

1161
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: years older than me, She said, ah, yeah, you'll get there.

1162
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: You'll turn thirty and then you'll get there. Your twenties suck.

1163
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 1: They just do They just they're really really hard. And

1164
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: you know, just I had no idea who I was.

1165
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 1: I I really believe as females we have to we

1166
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: have to fall in love with our bodies. Is like

1167
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: trying to fall in love, like you really have to

1168
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: learn yourself and then you're entering these new parts of

1169
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: yourself that you haven't met yet. So you have to

1170
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:40,479
Speaker 1: be really really kind. And we're not so kind because

1171
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: we're looking at all of the people around us saying, well,

1172
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: they have it so product Yes, exactly. And I think

1173
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,320
Speaker 1: a lot of two year olds look at me like

1174
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: I want to be hurt, and it's like, I'm eight

1175
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: years older than you and I have lived and I

1176
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: have been. The reason why you're feeling so connected with

1177
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: me is because I have been in your shoes and

1178
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: let let me share with you. And that's what I love.

1179
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 1: It's so fulfilling for me to be to share and

1180
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: make people feel, you know, known, and that's part of

1181
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: I think being a two and being an EmPATH. But no,

1182
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 1: it's your twenties are hard. And if you're listening and

1183
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 1: you ride with Cat and I and you see us

1184
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: up there, it's like, worry. We've kind of earned this

1185
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: new season that we're in. And let me tell you,

1186
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: turning thirty was one of the coolest things ever. I

1187
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,800
Speaker 1: did have COVID when I turned thirty, but it was

1188
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: still really great. And I'm I'm feeling finally like I

1189
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: can stand really confidently in this life that I'm building

1190
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: for myself. But your twenties are hard, and I think

1191
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 1: people don't talk about that enough. This is a good

1192
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: This is maybe we'll finally get to this. I keep

1193
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 1: teasing it, but like I want you to talk to

1194
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: me about how social media has played into that, because

1195
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how old you are. Now I think

1196
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 1: this is going to affect the younger generation more because

1197
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,800
Speaker 1: they're more in it and they're more savvy with it.

1198
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: But social media has and we talked about this last

1199
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 1: week with Anne Marie, but it has changed the game

1200
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,959
Speaker 1: when it comes to how we look at ourselves because

1201
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 1: it's it's up to comparison. I said, when we weren't

1202
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: recording you post, but like it's not really consistent and

1203
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: it's not like there's some people that I feel like

1204
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: I know them because I follow them on in secret. Yes,

1205
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: and you're somebody who still seems like mysterious you know. So,

1206
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: so how do you balance that? Because it's social media

1207
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: is how like businesses grow too, and and being a

1208
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 1: fitness instructor part of your business is like you and

1209
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 1: and your personal brand? So how do you deal with that?

1210
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: Oh what do you have? Well, just like give me

1211
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 1: your feelings on social media and how it affected you

1212
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 1: the rower coaster of it, you know, I have I

1213
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 1: think pretty love hate relationship with social media. I tell

1214
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: people this a lot, but if I wasn't a business owner,

1215
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,839
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have it, and I wouldn't have it because

1216
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: I don't think that it's healthy. About eight percent of

1217
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,360
Speaker 1: the time, I think it has a beautiful ability for

1218
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 1: us to connect. I think it has a really cool

1219
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 1: creative side that you can kind of find yourself kind

1220
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 1: of planning out your grid and seeing what filters you like,

1221
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: and and genuinely enjoying the aesthetic of what Instagram can

1222
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: provide you. Um, sharing your life is fun too. I

1223
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: also feel like social media has created this urgency for

1224
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 1: us to do this thing called show and tell, and

1225
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,720
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of beauty and also being private.

1226
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: So I balance it by like, I'm not strategic on

1227
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: my own social media. If I have a picture I

1228
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 1: want to post or do something, I'll post it. Um

1229
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: If I don't have content, I don't post. I think

1230
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like going to get content

1231
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 1: and trying to post something for the sake of posting

1232
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: every day or whatever you're trying to do for your algorithm,

1233
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 1: or you know, trying to do the latest thing to

1234
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 1: make yourself feel relevant. I don't think that that's a

1235
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 1: bad thing. But I think people need to watch their

1236
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 1: intentions about it, right, Like, what are you trying to

1237
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 1: convey in this message? What are you trying to show?

1238
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 1: And I think maybe because I'm an overthinker. If I'm

1239
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 1: about to post a picture of me in a sports

1240
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: bra I look a certain way right now because I'm

1241
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 1: a spin instructor and I work out, you know, a

1242
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: lot drowned out the week, I'm not always going to

1243
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 1: look like this. I'm in probably the best shape of

1244
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: my life for sure. And it's not like, oh, I

1245
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: don't want to make other people feel bad, but it's like,

1246
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 1: what is my intention? Am I proud of the way

1247
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: that I look cool? Then I'm going to post it?

1248
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 1: But what is my intention behind this post? Or what

1249
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: am I really trying to say? And my biggest thing

1250
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 1: is I have to have substance behind what I post.

1251
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 1: If I don't have substance, or if it's not something

1252
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 1: that I really love, or if it's not a photo

1253
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: creatively that I'm proud of because there is a part

1254
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 1: of me that really loves that part of social media,

1255
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to post it. And um, I think

1256
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: just to get something out there, because it's like I

1257
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: gotta post every day because I got to keep sure

1258
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 1: that I'm relevant in my algorithm and keep people engaging

1259
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 1: in what I'm doing. That's a pressure that will drown you,

1260
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 1: and I've seen it happen and it's really scary and

1261
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 1: it's sad, you know when that goes to Like last week,

1262
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: we're I was talking to Amory about like it's okay

1263
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 1: to do that that like with diets and exercise. I

1264
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,439
Speaker 1: didn't say that's okay to do that. But we can't

1265
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 1: judge what we're doing based on these people who do

1266
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 1: it for a career. There are people it's it's literally

1267
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 1: somebody's job to influencers. It's literally their job to post

1268
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 1: and to do this and take certain pictures and whatever.

1269
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: It is not I mean, it's part of our job

1270
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: because again our brand, but it's literally not our just

1271
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 1: our job and if you let it, it will drown you,

1272
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: like you said, because we're comparing ourselves to these people

1273
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: who spend all day doing that, right their their grid

1274
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 1: looks like that because that's they spent eight hours planning

1275
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 1: that out and like what time they're going to Like,

1276
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: there's so much behind a post of like what time

1277
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 1: and what our like, what the day of the week.

1278
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: You know, you can comment on people's before you post.

1279
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 1: You have to comment. People start to wonder your friends

1280
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: intentions on, like why they're posting on your why they're

1281
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 1: commenting on your post, because you're like, are you doing

1282
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 1: this so that you get followers from the people that

1283
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: like that? That is where social media has gone taken

1284
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: my brain sometimes and I'm like, this is when I

1285
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: know I need to put my phone down and I

1286
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 1: need to get off Instagram for a while, and I'll

1287
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 1: do that. It's kind of like when I go rogue

1288
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,959
Speaker 1: a little bit and I just kind of don't post.

1289
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 1: It's probably just because I'm not on it. I'm on

1290
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 1: d M S a lot because I get a lot

1291
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 1: of it for the business I run both the full

1292
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: right end my personal Instagram, So it's like it is

1293
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 1: kind of it can be you can feel like a lot.

1294
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 1: But I really do worry for the sanity of our

1295
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: generation because I just you wouldn't know. What you don't

1296
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 1: know can't hurt you, you know, And sometimes like if

1297
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 1: you're healing from a breakup and you see your ex

1298
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 1: or your ex is in a photo of your friend

1299
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: with your friend is like, now, all of a sudden,

1300
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 1: you're creating this story in your head that may not

1301
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 1: even it's probably not even true, but because you saw

1302
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: on social media or what about like the targeted ads

1303
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 1: that then there's like draining your bank account because you've

1304
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: got to have this to keep relevant. The thing that

1305
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:41,919
Speaker 1: makes me the most sad, I think is when people

1306
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: do things so that they can post them on social media.

1307
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 1: And I think it's like I want to go out

1308
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 1: so that I can have content to post, or I

1309
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: want to buy a house so I can have content

1310
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 1: to post, or I want to, you know, like change

1311
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 1: my hair so I have content to post. You know

1312
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: that that part I think I'm seeing in a lot

1313
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 1: of just our generation, and it makes me. It truly

1314
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 1: breaks my heart because I really wish that life was

1315
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 1: pre social media. If I'm being fully honest, because I

1316
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 1: like that you said, like why am I posting this?

1317
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: If it's something I'm proud of and I want to share,

1318
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: then like totally do it. And I think that's that

1319
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 1: Like if I do buy a house and I post

1320
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,400
Speaker 1: a picture of my house because I'm proud of it,

1321
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 1: that's one thing. But if I'm like going out and

1322
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 1: doing these things so then I can post a picture

1323
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: that I know is going to get a lot of

1324
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 1: likes and comments. That's the issue. If I'm going to

1325
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: do get my hair done and spend five on getting

1326
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 1: my hair done just so I have can post this picture,

1327
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: if I'm spent doing a girl's night just so I

1328
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 1: can post it, that is one thing versus like I

1329
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 1: did it, and I have these pictures and I'm going

1330
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 1: to post them. But it's it's a fine line. It's

1331
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 1: a fine line, a very fine line. And then what

1332
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: we end up doing is we compare our insides everybody's outside,

1333
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 1: so we see everybody's outside the stuff that they're posting.

1334
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: We don't see the inside of what that. You don't

1335
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: see how many photos they took for the one picture

1336
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 1: that they posted, right, I pay and at that one

1337
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: time I posted on I've struggled with social media because

1338
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 1: I had a work Instagram and a personal Instagram, and

1339
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know what to do it. It's

1340
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: like it was a lot of like what do I

1341
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,919
Speaker 1: post on what? Because I as a therapist, I don't

1342
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,440
Speaker 1: it's not appropriate for a lot of my personal life

1343
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 1: to me on social media because I have some of

1344
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 1: my clients might follow me, and I have a public profile,

1345
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:23,680
Speaker 1: and I don't want to have to worry about what

1346
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 1: they're seeing and any of that. So that's been a

1347
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 1: whole thing and I finally have I just have one

1348
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 1: Instagram now. But I one time posted a picture. It

1349
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 1: was a picture of a shirt that I'm fine, It's fine,

1350
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 1: Everything's fine shirt that from shopping squa that Amy created,

1351
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: and I wanted to take a picture in front of

1352
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 1: my Christmas tree but I couldn't get the words and

1353
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 1: my face and I was taking it myself and I

1354
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 1: literally took probably fifty pictures and finally my my roommate

1355
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 1: was like, do you want me just take your picture?

1356
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know why I didn't

1357
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: ask you that, but like I posted the like camera

1358
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 1: role of how like I had probably probably fifty pictures

1359
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 1: of one simple photo of me sitting in front of

1360
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 1: a Christmas tree. Wasn't anything special, But if that picture

1361
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: took that long, like yeah, I can imagine. And that's

1362
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: why a lot of times when I am like doing

1363
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:17,800
Speaker 1: a photo shoot for for full Rider, um the old

1364
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: tate I used to do, or even something for three

1365
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 1: courts therapy, people like you want to look at them,

1366
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'm like, yeah, sure, but sometimes like I

1367
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 1: don't really care. That's what I look like. That's what

1368
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 1: I look like. I can't change it. Yeah, it is

1369
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: what I look like. And I don't need to like

1370
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 1: get my foot in the right place and then lean

1371
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 1: this way. It's just like, that's not what I look like.

1372
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 1: I don't ever stand like that. I want to make

1373
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 1: sure that I always like, if you follow me on

1374
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 1: social media, you've never met me, and then you meet

1375
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 1: me in person, you can identify who I am, you know,

1376
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,920
Speaker 1: and I'm actually like this real person. Everyone loves a

1377
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: good filter, like it's like, wow, I can look this way,

1378
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 1: you know, But there are certain filters I will not

1379
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 1: even touch because I'm like, that's not what I look like.

1380
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 1: I've stopped well because what I would do. I stopped

1381
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,920
Speaker 1: using the like smooth a thing on stories, because I

1382
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: would go back in my archives to look for things,

1383
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 1: and I'd see all these videos of me and I'm like,

1384
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: oh my god, my skin look perfect, this look perfect,

1385
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: and I would get so upset of like I don't

1386
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 1: why I wish I still looked like that. I never

1387
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 1: never looked like that. Literally, I never looked like that.

1388
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 1: So I will never again do a smooth face filter

1389
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: on my story. And sometimes I'm like, damn, I wish

1390
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 1: I could use that filter, and I'm like, this is

1391
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 1: what I look like, this is what I look like.

1392
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 1: This is a really me. And I think it's really

1393
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: important to you to like, really for also people that

1394
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 1: are listening, like pay attention to who you follow and

1395
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 1: like what filters are using, because without you even knowing it,

1396
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 1: you'll start to then like you just get so adjusted

1397
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 1: to seeing people's stories and you're like, what foundation do

1398
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 1: they use? And that's like then it's like, all of

1399
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 1: a sudden, you're spending all this money to look like

1400
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 1: this person that doesn't even exist. So I really am

1401
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: really specific on who I follow, and I really try

1402
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:49,920
Speaker 1: to follow people that are really authentic. And I'm really

1403
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 1: into of course beauty and fashion and all the things

1404
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 1: that every girl is interested in, but what is realistic

1405
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 1: And I really try to have a good censor of that.

1406
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,919
Speaker 1: And it's coming back to your point of like trying

1407
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 1: to balance being relevant at thirty and and running a

1408
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 1: business and being a spin instructor and then also being

1409
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 1: really really real. And I think if you can go

1410
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 1: back to social media and be like, am I portraying

1411
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: myself in a light that my family is proud of

1412
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: that makes sense to people that knew me five years ago,

1413
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 1: then yeah, okay, I feel like I'm I'm doing okay,

1414
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 1: But I just I I really it's such a fine line.

1415
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 1: And if you ever feel weird, if you're like I'm

1416
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 1: going to post something and it just doesn't feel right,

1417
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 1: like don't post it. That's I think generally like you're

1418
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 1: kind of trigger of like that's a good, good rule

1419
01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 1: of thumb, of like this doesn't feel authentic, So I'm

1420
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 1: not going to do it, and then just don't do it.

1421
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 1: Maybe text into your friend and be like look at

1422
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 1: my look, I have my apps, look or look at

1423
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 1: how I feel in this picture, like don't I look pretty?

1424
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 1: And like yeah, you look great? You know, but don't

1425
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: do it if you're trying to get the affirmation from

1426
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 1: a bunch of strangers just from hitting a like button,

1427
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 1: you know. That's what's scary to me. And I feel

1428
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 1: like where our world has gone to so social media

1429
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: it is a necessary evil you run a business, unfortunately, Um,

1430
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 1: I think there's a there's so many there's so much

1431
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: good that comes from it, Like it can be really inspiring,

1432
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: but you have to It's like I say with my instructors,

1433
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:11,480
Speaker 1: when you have the privilege to have a microphone, like

1434
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 1: use it wisely. If you have the privilege to have

1435
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 1: people on social media, and I think you should both

1436
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: have quite a few followers. You know, we've got a

1437
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 1: lot of people like interested in our life, which is cool.

1438
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to live my life and if

1439
01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 1: you're interested in it, great, But I'm not going to

1440
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 1: change what I do throughout the day so that you're

1441
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 1: more interested in what I do. I might share what

1442
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 1: I eat, I might not share what I eat, and

1443
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 1: I might share what I'm doing on a Friday night,

1444
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:34,200
Speaker 1: I might not, And it kind of just depends on

1445
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:38,080
Speaker 1: my mood. But my my personal Instagram is not strategic,

1446
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: and I think you can tell if you follow me

1447
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 1: that it's not. I think that this is a good

1448
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 1: way to wrap it up because that's one of the

1449
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:47,520
Speaker 1: things that I think, especially because people are on their

1450
01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 1: phones more than ever now because of the pandemic and

1451
01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 1: just there's less to do and we're you know, the

1452
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 1: media has like sucked us in and so that's a

1453
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 1: good way to kind of round this out of like

1454
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:58,680
Speaker 1: that's what we started talking about the pandemic, and this

1455
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 1: is one of the biggest things probably a lot of

1456
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 1: us have come out of it, of readjusting our relationship

1457
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 1: with our phones and and how we get affirmation and validation.

1458
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: So thank you for being here, thank you for having

1459
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 1: me get some drinks. Let's go get Jesus