WEBVTT - 2012 with Crissle West 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:03.280 And we're back. 0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:05.920 Guys, welcome back to another episode. 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:07.840 To look back at it the most professional podcast that 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:09.960 you'll ever be a part of. Today, we have a 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:14.400 very very very important, i'll even say tantalizing guest. We 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:19.200 have Crystal West, writer, comedian, producer, podcaster. You know it 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.759 from the read with Kid Ferry. You know her from 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.880 Drunk History, you know her from the hilarious and award 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:30.000 winning Insecurities podcast. Please please please give it up for 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:30.720 Crystal West. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:34.640 My goodness, thank you now that we got NPR Sam 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:35.600 out the way, how you doing? 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:44.400 Thank you for having me make it professional? Well, I 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:46.839 mean you said the most professional podcast I'll ever be on. 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:49.320 I'm like, well, I don't know. I did the Peabody 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:53.159 Show on top of that ship. But I'm honored to 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:56.880 be here and I look forward to whatever it is 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:57.600 this is gonna be. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:03.440 That that is exactly that we were using the show. 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.119 That's right there. That is a drop if I've ever heard. 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.640 Welcome, this is what I do. I'm a professional. 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:10.520 Yeah, that's right. I'm so. 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:15.640 I'm thrilled that we have christ I'm excited I podcast. 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:19.440 I'm saying history, you are not. We just met and 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:21.440 I thought I mean, I've listened to you. 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:21.720 You do. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:28.559 Anything, Crystal Crystal Crystal like Crystal likes to like how 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:30.920 in charge that you are. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.440 Now you're like the first African American podcast in history. 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.039 And don't you do it? You like do a thing. 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:39.120 It's like a whole thing. 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:40.479 I do. I do a few things. 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.119 I just launched my solo show, Crystals Couch and show Therapy. 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:47.040 The game the red has been. It has been very 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.400 big for my has defined my career. 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:53.520 So yeah, accept that. Thank you so much. I appreciate 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:55.040 the love and I'm happy that. 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:55.720 Is your sign. 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:56.560 I'm virgo. 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.600 Okay, this is gonna be a thing, are you? I'm 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:01.600 a capital quarantine is this is. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:07.400 Talking. I am a Sagittarius. 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:13.639 Sagittarius a perfect, perfect, perfect sign. Every time something, every 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.200 time somebody tries to talk to me about Sagittarius, being. 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.799 Like, oh, y'all do this. I like that. That sounds 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:19.239 like a purpose. 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.079 I would need to see your full chart, my full chart. 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:23.440 I don't I'm not really happy. 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:23.720 I don't know. 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:26.160 I don't know my big moon in your eyes, I 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.280 don't know all of that. You know that gay, but 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:28.800 you know what I mean. 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:29.680 That's the. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:36.400 Community but every time someone tells me something, I'm always like, 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.680 this sounds like a wonderful person to be around. 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.200 I don't know what y'all. People people try to call up. 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.640 Sagitt terrorists and I'm like, I don't know where that 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:44.200 comes from. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:48.040 Who hurt you? 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:49.240 You know, That's what it sounded like to me. 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:50.560 Step your game up. 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:52.840 You were a good boyfriend when we were together. 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:53.519 Let's talk about it. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:54.680 But that was a long time ago. 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:59.600 Sam Sam Bull Sam caused my relations with women mythical. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:04.919 She caused it mythical relations. That was that was a connection. 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.080 Very rarely I have x's on this place. This is 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:09.800 the first ex. 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.640 I just you know, I don't even want to do 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:14.240 this to her. 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:14.919 Damn. 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:18.480 I just will save that for another show. 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:20.120 Wow, that's not on. 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:23.200 You do this. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.359 We were an internet couple. We were an Internet couple. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.600 That's what it was, Crystal. You claimed me on the 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:33.280 internet when we were both fun people, because we were 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:36.920 once fun people on Twitter back and back in back 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.960 in the day, back in the day we were you were. 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:42.760 You were a popular Twitter personality. 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:44.960 I had, you know, I had my numbers up also, 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.200 people people we were in the same sort of like 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:51.720 Twitter sphere. We had a lot of act off. We 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:52.920 took it off and we were in the d M. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:54.760 We take it off line and I was like this, 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.880 she reminds me of it. Every potential lesbian that I 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:00.960 got with in school, I think. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:01.960 I could be homosexuality. 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:06.760 We were. We were in a lavender situationship. It was 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:08.520 a lavender situation. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.080 Was even a thing. 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:15.120 And our friends, our friends definitely rolled their eyes, were disgusted. 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.840 You will just tell me that all your female relationships 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:18.760 with lavender relationships. 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.280 I would believe you, but but you. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.480 Act like as if I just wasn't trying pussy at 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:23.280 some point, and I. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:28.400 Was, I still don't count, and that's strung I had. 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:31.839 I got to probably another woman is correct. This man 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.920 draws me crazy, is what you're talking about? 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:41.919 Virginity just mad, mad the bo you were feeling. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.320 Gay niggas get two virginities, They get a straight one 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:49.960 and they get a gay. Why was down behind that? 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.919 That's not exclusive because straight niggas don't be trying. 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:59.520 The women, right women, But you were eating all the 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:03.280 pussy up two to have you. 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:04.840 Even pussy passed the age of twenty five? 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:09.360 No, okay, then twenty one that's twenty one is drinking age? 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:10.520 At least give me twenty one. 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:12.760 Has it been past twenty one? 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.400 Yes, I was in college, but your brain wasn't done 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.880 development twenty one drinking? 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.000 You know what you wanted? Ship doing anything? 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:27.360 Yes, we we we Our history is lavender situation. And 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.600 then when when she moved here a few months before 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:31.640 I got here, and then it was really because it 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:32.839 was just digital at that point. 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:36.480 We were just like online, you know, we jokes and stuff. 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:38.840 And then and then she got to New York, I 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.039 got to New York, we started linking up. Hurricane Sandy happened, 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.039 Oh god, and we were and we were sheltered in place. 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:46.520 We were were bowed up. 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.120 No, I was locking. 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:53.680 It's crazy because at one point you're with me and 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:55.440 then yeah, and then she's like, well hold on. 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:58.400 You take it a little. And then she'd be like, oh, 0:05:58.400 --> 0:05:59.160 so it was all that. 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:01.440 Was like sheltering in place at Bobby's. 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.000 We were a little spoon at one point. Was there 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:05.520 was there. 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:10.760 A it was I was probably a big spool. 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:16.960 Yeah, that's beautiful. 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:19.200 Already we're already into who she was. 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:24.120 Sort of we can like to give your own without 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:27.520 sends me take me out of who was Crystal in 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:28.760 twenty two Florida. 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:31.599 So I had moved to New York in June, so 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:34.760 really in the middle of the year and moved from 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.240 moved from Oklahoma City. And that was because I went 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:41.960 to go see Beyonce in Jersey and while I was here, 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:44.039 I felt like Beyonce was telling me to move to 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.800 New York. So I was supposed to move to Atlanta, 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:48.560 because that's a move. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:54.039 No, it was a whole whatever that gambling. 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:59.400 Spot was, it was revel but I forgot whatever the 0:06:59.720 --> 0:06:59.960 this was. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.480 It was. 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:01.200 It was. 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:04.120 Like her. 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:08.200 It was like a little residency at City. Atlantic City. 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:12.320 Yes, Atlantic City, Yes, you have a swarm moment she's 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:16.800 to you. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:17.600 Yes, yes. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.080 And so I felt like I was supposed to move 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:21.960 to New York. So I canceled all my plans to 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.760 move to Atlanta and came to New York instead. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.480 And so I was just, you know, a broke bitch 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:29.440 in the city trying to So this. 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.040 Was you were choosing between Atlanta and New York City. Yeah, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:33.840 New York. I feel like that's the best choice for you. 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.680 Yeah, And I mean Atlanta made a lot of sense 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:38.320 because I had a lot of friends there. It's a 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:39.200 lot of gay people there. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.800 Nigga, she's doing good there. It was then, it's not 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:42.600 as cheap now. 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.920 But you know, Atlanta just made a lot more sense 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:49.040 as far as like maintaining my current way of life 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:51.880 Oklahoma City to Atlanta, it's not that different coming to 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:52.400 New York. 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:54.920 You might as well. I used to tell. 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:56.840 People back home, you need to have a passport to 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.880 even come here for like a because New York City 0:07:59.920 --> 0:08:01.520 is not like nowhere. 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:02.920 Else, game changing. Yeah. 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.280 Yeah, so you know, it was a lot of just 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:06.520 trying to figure out the train. 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:07.680 What was your first few days? 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.640 That's what, Because like we're all transplants, we've all moved 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:11.280 here from somewhere. 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.040 I moved from Boston Detroit. 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:18.040 Say what was your first like twenty twelve, your first 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.800 week in New York, and then we should all do 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:21.440 a little. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.080 Okay, let's do that. 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.200 I so I stayed with my friend of Santae for 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:31.280 one night, shout out of Sante, and then I immediately 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:34.280 rented a room from you know, Poppy in Washington Heights. 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.199 Come on, this is back. 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:38.200 When you can rent a room. 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:42.080 A week, you have the same projectory. I know all 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:43.360 about it. I was up there with you. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:46.240 This was very already different me because I did not 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:47.080 come to New York poor. 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:47.560 I just want. 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.719 Yeah, yeah, that's so nice for you. I share it 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.240 with like two thousand dollars in saving. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:58.280 Come on, and I had I had eight hundred dollars 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:00.439 in a suitcase half a bottle jack day. 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:03.800 Yeah, I did. 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:06.280 I mean because it was like when Beyonce spirit is 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.559 telling you to move somewhere, you know you're gonna move there. 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:12.119 And so I immediately went out to the temp agencies, 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:13.839 every tip agency in the city so I could get 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.400 whatever job I can get, to start working very quickly, yeah, 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:18.080 start getting paid every week. 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:19.200 So it was really like that. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.880 I just immediately got to work on trying to get 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.679 myself as secure as possible because I knew I did 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:26.600 not have the income to be trying to rent an apartment, 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:29.720 like a full apartment by myself, you know. So I yeah, 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:32.319 I was written from different people in Washington Heights. I 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:33.959 moved around probably three or four times. 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:39.880 You become best friends with your luggage real fast. 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.040 The humiliation of having to move using the train. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:47.600 We weren't really ubering, No, it wasn't. 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:47.640 No. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.320 Uber cabs didn't really come. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:56.520 Up this New York City. They had just gotten rid 0:09:56.520 --> 0:10:00.600 of the big gulps, the big sodas. It was like, 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:01.840 no more, no more. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:07.160 Soda, the crack, We'll stay. 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:07.800 Yeah. 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.840 That was me wandering around one hundred and sixty fourth 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.520 Street and Broadway getting used to being around Dominicans. 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:15.800 Dominicans thought I was one of them. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:17.920 Same I wasn't. I was. 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.280 I would be in the barbershop getting my haircut, they 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:28.040 start speaking Spanish. I'm like like, no, no, you no, I'm. 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:31.520 Black to me and we all don't look the same. 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.160 They stopped doing my eyebrows. 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.920 I rented a room from a Dominican. 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.720 Dominican girl was like, so what are you and I 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.199 said black American and she was like no, but what else? 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.840 And I said no, for real, just black And she said, 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.600 but you're lighter than me. And I said that's because 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.800 Dominicans are black. And I feel like you don't quite 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:57.960 get that, sister. But like, y'all shop speaking Spanish because 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:59.240 y'all are black. 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:05.040 Your hair like hair, Yeah, like you must be us, 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.800 and I'm like slavery, yeah yeah, and. 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.800 Look where we are ye. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.240 But yeah, it was a big culture shock to go 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:29.960 from Oklahoma City to Washington. 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:32.520 Oh yeah, oh yeah it was. 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.880 It was huge, but you know, I stuck with it 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:36.439 and and the city grew on me. 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.480 But yeah did the city like like my first week 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.480 in New York, even though I came like with a 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:42.720 job with s n L. 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:44.200 Like I had moved from l A. So I was 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:46.719 I went to l A first, and. 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.520 I went to l A. Yeah, so I went. 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:50.440 So that's where you went to be poor. 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.640 That's why I went to be poor, said, I'll be somewhere. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:55.360 Absolute. 0:11:56.000 --> 0:12:02.400 I was never denied, never the pos first I went 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.240 to la or I just it was just a better 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:05.840 move for me. 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.120 I was one boss was too close, and I felt 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:09.000 like when. 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:10.520 It got hard, I was just gonna run home home 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.280 because I could just go home. And I was gonna 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:15.480 like lean on doing shows at home too, because I 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:16.920 hadn't be a place where I could like do any 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:18.640 show in the city. So I was like, if I'm 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.480 not getting work here, I'm gonna go home and work. 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.000 If I'm not getting I don't have money, I want to. 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.000 Eat, or my family's just well, just come home for 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:25.520 the weekend. 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.520 And I'm never gonna like grow the way I need 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.520 to grow so in the way, like Beyonce was like, 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:32.719 come to New York. Like my spirit was like, if 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.600 you come to New York, You're gonna just hit a 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:38.840 ceiling very quickly and just be not moving. So I 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:40.319 was like, LA's where I need to go because I'll 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:41.920 be stuck out there because I'm too poor to come back. 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.440 I can't fly across the country like that. I just 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.760 I'll just stay there and I'll fucking figure it out 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:48.840 because I won't have a choice. So I went to 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:50.520 La to be poor. Also, it was warmer and I 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:51.400 could get more space. 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:55.080 So what could you drive? Because that's what's keeping me 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:56.560 out of LA is the fact. 0:12:56.320 --> 0:13:01.199 That I wasn't driving. But girl was married at the time. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:02.760 My wife had a car. But that's for a whole nother. 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:07.200 Time, twelve going on. 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.920 So you were but you were poor and married, so 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:12.800 I had a built in support system. 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:13.200 I was. 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:14.160 I don't, I don't. 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.000 I don't really move around without a plan. Where's the struggle, 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.000 I'm sorry the struggle. Well, we could get into my 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:28.480 early life business. Daddy died when I was like to 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:30.640 Mama died when I was like sixteen. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:32.600 Got on my transition. 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:37.360 I'm transition slept on couches sometimes out Is that poor 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:37.839 enough for you? 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.360 Yeah? 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:40.720 It is. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.800 Now because I'm hearing wife, I'm like, bitch, I wish 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:47.120 I had a wife ild. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:47.480 Yeah. 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.199 So I moved to LA And then when I got 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.440 to New York, I hadn't moved for the job. 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.920 I had moved to write for SNL. So yes, okay, 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.160 I'm coming in with like stuff, but still it's New 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:58.520 York City. 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:00.720 By the end of the week, I still ended up crying, 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:06.000 like the city still broke. It's supposed to the city 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.160 still like broke me. And by the Friday, I was like, 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.600 I cannot do this. This place is insane. I got 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:17.080 my first I find an apartment. Finally, this is like 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.800 a month later that the Friday that I got broken, 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:20.080 I was. 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:20.880 Walking to SNL. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.280 I had got trapped in the elevator at the hotel 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.320 I was staying, staying at the Sheraton and Times Square. 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:30.360 I got trapped and I hadn't lived there for like 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:30.800 a month. 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:39.560 Put you up, and so I got trapped in the 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.680 elevator there for like five hours. 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:45.040 That night before I was like struggling at. 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.360 My first week at the show, and right my first 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:52.400 week at the show. I'm struggling, I'm bombing in front 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:56.400 of cha, so I'm embarrassed. This is like my friend 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.080 outside of this and I looked like an eighty yeah, 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:03.160 like just getting cussed out left and right, trying to 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:07.080 navigate the game. Anytime I ask anybody anything, they're fucking 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:07.800 awful to me. 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.080 I'm just like, this place is so mean. 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.120 And I saw I was like walking to work and 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:17.760 suddenly from I don't know where, a bunch of what 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.760 I hope was just lotion splashes up and hits me 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:27.160 all over myself, my face, my face, all over my body. 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.880 And I don't know where it even came from. Like 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.920 I still to this day couldn't tell you where it 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:33.280 came from. 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:37.160 Walking around with something today we don't even know you got. 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:41.440 And I just started fucking crying. I hate this place, 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.840 like kind of city you. 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:49.960 Brought up into New York, you know, even and. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.760 That was like my my. 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.520 Moving to New York, like you got as soon as 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.960 you walk in and just start beating your and then I. 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.360 And I'm like, Okay, I feel good. 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.680 I have a place to live, spent the most I've 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.240 ever spent my life to do anything. I didn't give 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.680 this man like nine thousand dollars to move into this 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:13.600 little one like a studio apartment in East Harlem. I 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.560 get to the guy, I give him this check and 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:19.560 he hands me a lock and he's like, yeah, when 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.520 you get there, find a super and tell him put 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:23.680 that on your door. And I said to my own 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:28.880 my lock, and you want me to go find some 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:33.320 guy I never even fucking met and do this myself 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.040 at that game, nine thousand of my dollars. 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:38.680 Yeah, you have to spend a lot of money to 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:39.400 live in the hood here. 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.720 Yeah, yeah, I will say, you know, yep, similar trajectory 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:49.000 to crystals and crystals. I just you know, I got here, 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:52.480 like I said, eight hundred dollars in the suitcase on 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:57.360 the Greyhound Sunday Sunday night, because Beyonce told Beyonce. 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:58.320 Told you to move? 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:04.119 Who told you to just my parents told me to 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:05.720 the out of our house. 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:08.080 They said, you gotta get the funk out of our house. 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.199 I was fresh out of college and my little communications degree, 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:13.040 you know, because what I tell the people all the 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:14.880 time when you get a communications degree, on the back 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:16.560 of the diploma is a Starbucks application. 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:21.040 So I went to school for communications it's the thing 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:22.320 you go to school for. With me, don't want to 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:22.680 go to school. 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:24.760 When you don't want to go to school, it's just like, 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.520 I'm just here so I don't get fine, I'm here 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:29.879 a degree so that my mama and daddy. 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.400 Like, look, you read all the degrees and I don't 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:32.639 know that. 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:33.880 I don't do that. I want to talk. 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.679 It's like, you don't ever have to write anything, do anything? 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:38.680 Okay, cool? 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:39.400 Yeah that one. 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:41.399 You don't have to write no papers and communication. 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:43.760 I mean you did what it was about what. 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:47.440 I was like having a real major. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.879 I will say Co'm one on one was pivotal for me, 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:52.439 and I look back on it and I'm like, oh, 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.440 I actually I'm sort of using my degree in a 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:59.119 way because I'll never forget my first communications class. My 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:02.800 my professor, we would do like these presentations, and she 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:04.840 pulled me aside one time and she was like, you 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.320 should stick to this major because you seem to be 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.800 the only person in the class who tries to use 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:13.439 humor to get the class laugh and to get your 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:14.119 message across. 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.520 Shout out to the communications professions for pretending like they're 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:17.320 teaching a real thing. 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:19.359 Shout out to y'all. 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:23.359 I mean, y'all are communicating now for a living, you. 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:25.720 Know, like getting thoughts across, even if they're not the 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.399