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Speaker 1: Fake news, fake news, fake news. It's the Jewel Show

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Speaker 1: that was the buzzword that happened. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: five years ago, whenever Donald Trump was running for office

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Speaker 1: the first time, when he's talking about fake news, which

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Speaker 1: does exist, there's a lot of fake news out there. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a major news network that might be getting sued

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Speaker 1: probably for everything that they're worth because of fake news.

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Speaker 1: And it all centers around Joe Rogan, podcaster, comedian, and man,

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Speaker 1: I'm so jealous of him. Goodness, So Joe Rogan probably

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Speaker 1: has more money than CNN anyway, but he might be

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Speaker 1: suing CNN because Joe Rogan got COVID and CNN started

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Speaker 1: reporting on Joe Rogan getting COVID because that's what they

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Speaker 1: do when a celebrity gets COVID, gets reported, right, and

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Speaker 1: they said that Joe Rogan started taking horse d warmer

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Speaker 1: to cure COVID, but his doctors gave him the vermectin

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Speaker 1: and it's a horse the wormer. It is used as

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Speaker 1: a horsty wormer, but it's used on humans. Anyway, Joe

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Speaker 1: Rogan might be suing CNN now because of fake news

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Speaker 1: that they posted about him in CNN has been caught

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Speaker 1: posting a lot of fake news or news that's like

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Speaker 1: irresponsible before they actually have any real proof. I just

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Speaker 1: hope that Joe Rogan owns CNN as well. Now he

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Speaker 1: sues them and he actually owns it. Joe Rogan is

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Speaker 1: soon to be the richest man in the world, all

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Speaker 1: based off of his podcast news yeahs not fun. Order

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Speaker 1: to take it over and then just turn it into

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Speaker 1: the fake news network, we should just try to make

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Speaker 1: up some news stories, now, we should we should do

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Speaker 1: a fake news network. In the funny we do the

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Speaker 1: idiot news network on this show where it is in

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Speaker 1: the news. They report the news, which is probably more

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Speaker 1: real news than CNN. And we should do the fake

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Speaker 1: news network that funny n N. Yeah, the FNN, the

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Speaker 1: fake news network where I'm let's try it. Let's see

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Speaker 1: if we can do the fake news stories are real,

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Speaker 1: just roll fake there, we justestro fac See Alex is

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Speaker 1: really good at those newsy kind of headlines like that.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's see if we can do it. We'll

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Speaker 1: make up news storry. I'll start it off like we

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Speaker 1: do the iron N. Welcome to the FNN, the fake

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Speaker 1: News network where all the news is real, real, fake

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Speaker 1: This is FNN. I'm your host, Jordan Splinko. And this

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Speaker 1: just in in case you missed it. At the VMA's

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Speaker 1: over the weekend, Surgeon General Billie Eilish got into a

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Speaker 1: fight with Mamba Number five singer Lizzo. Crazy video has

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Speaker 1: surface that show the two of them punching each other

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Speaker 1: in the face before stand up comedian Kanye West broke

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Speaker 1: up the fight by delivering his patented catchphrase, Wait a second,

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Speaker 1: who took my fish sticks? He's hilarious, isn't he a second?

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Speaker 1: Who took my fish sticks? Yeah? That's a pretty good

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Speaker 1: fake news story. That's really here we go. This is

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Speaker 1: the FNN, the fake news network where all the news

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Speaker 1: is real, just real fake. For our next story of

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Speaker 1: the day, let's send it over to Alejandra Candelabra, but

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Speaker 1: you can just call me Candelabra. Candelabra, What have you

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Speaker 1: got to report? Okay? Well, okay, So ahead of the CDC,

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Speaker 1: doctor Anthony Fout he's come out and he's announced that

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Speaker 1: he's killed COVID yesterday. Yes, tells are crazy, you guys. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So in a press conference where he was dressed as

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Speaker 1: Donald Duck, he made this statements interesting if you're having

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Speaker 1: trouble understanding what he said. Doctor Fauschey said that he

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Speaker 1: was at his favorite bar in downtown Ketchup Town. One

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Speaker 1: of the COVID vivers walked in. Apparently, doctor Fauci snapped

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Speaker 1: after his favorite song, hit Me Baby one more Time,

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Speaker 1: stop playing and quote. Jess reacted by pulling out a

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Speaker 1: switchblade and Shane Covid right in the kidney. Good good,

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Speaker 1: good job, glad he has a shank. Still. Yeah, but wait,

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Speaker 1: there's more. He's currently in custody facing murder charges. But

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Speaker 1: no more masks oho. Yeah, yeah, I mean, good job,

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Speaker 1: doctor Fauchi. I mean he's gonna have to be in

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Speaker 1: jail now for killing COVID with a switch blade, but

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Speaker 1: it's fine. Was he dressed as Donald Duck at the time,

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Speaker 1: Alex Probably, Yeah, argue that that's the most sense he's

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Speaker 1: ever made. I'm gonna argue that he is all Duck. Okay. Also,

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Speaker 1: that's just in, Doctor Fugie is Donald Duck. This is

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Speaker 1: the FNN, the fake news network where all the news

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Speaker 1: is real, real fake. For our next story of the day,

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Speaker 1: let's send it over to Polly peepy Pants, who was

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Speaker 1: on location. I don't know where, Polly. I'm with Dwayne

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Speaker 1: the Rock Johnson and he has revealed shocking news this

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Speaker 1: morning that he's actually Charlie Sheeny. Rock is actually Charlie Sheen.

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Speaker 1: Just surprised as you are. But apparently Charlie Sheen made

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Speaker 1: a suit of Dwayne the Rock Johnson years ago, knowing

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Speaker 1: that he might have to reinvent his career. Wow. The

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Speaker 1: Wrestlers slash actor released a statement saying, you guys didn't

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Speaker 1: think I'd be back, did you? Well I am and

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Speaker 1: bigger than ever, before licking his finger and putting it

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Speaker 1: on his bottom while making a sizzle sound like Wow,

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Speaker 1: what a statement. So the Rock doesn't actually exist, it's

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Speaker 1: actually Charlie she It's actually either way. Does mean that

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Speaker 1: it's like three men, then three two men, two and

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Speaker 1: a half men. Well that was the fake news now

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Speaker 1: at work. I thought that in those new stars are

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Speaker 1: actually really interesting. That was great. I we will I

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Speaker 1: think we should do that all the time. I think

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Speaker 1: we should assist a station to the inn in yep,

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Speaker 1: thank you very much. That was the FNN, the fake

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Speaker 1: news network where all the news is real, just real

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Speaker 1: fake fake news network. When news breaks, we sweep it

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Speaker 1: up and put in the trash. I remember, you can

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Speaker 1: follow the show on social media. At the Jewel Show,

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Speaker 1: you can follow all of us individually. I'm a Jewel Fresh,

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Speaker 1: I'm at that dream at fan on the radio