1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, and I'm so excited because we're going to 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 1: be adding a really special offering onto the back of 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:09,120 Speaker 1: my solo episodes on Fridays. It's my short daily series 4 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: on Calm, The Daily Jay. And let me tell you, 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: it's unlike anything else I'm doing. It's part storytelling, part mindfulness, 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: with a wide range of unique, actionable insights, and it's 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: also the only place you can meditate with me each 8 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and every day. I absolutely love all the wisdom was sharing, 9 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: all the lives were changing, and whether you want to 10 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 1: improve your mindset, your habits, or your relationships, whether you 11 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: want to work on developing more focus, presence, or equanimity, 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: building a Daily Jay routine just seven minutes every day 13 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: can make a huge impact. So make sure to check 14 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: out the session at the end of the podcast, and 15 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: then subscribe to Calm for your daily dose of The 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: Daily Jay. Go to Calm dot com forward slash ja 17 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: for forty percent off your membership. Today from The New. 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 2: York Times, this is modern love. I'm Anna Martin, love now. 19 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: And stronger than anything, and I love you more than anything. 20 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 2: I still love today. We have an essay about being 21 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 2: yourself when you're dating, which is so hard to not 22 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: show off, just to show up as you. The essay 23 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 2: is written by relationship expert Jay Shetty, and this guy 24 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 2: is kind of having a moment. Please welcome to the 25 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: Lays Show, Jay Shetty. 26 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: Will Smith is a big fan. I know Oprah is 27 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: a big, big, big fan. Jay. 28 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 2: You're amazing, Ja Shetty, Jay Shetty j He's the go 29 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 2: to life coach for over fifty million followers. He's written books, 30 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: He's on a world tour and this is huge for me. 31 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 2: He officiated the wedding of j Lo and Ben Affleck 32 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: on his podcast. 33 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,639 Speaker 1: Question is from Alanat Thank you for your question. 34 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: He answers burning love questions. 35 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: I've been ghosted recently for the first time. I feel 36 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: like I did something wrong. Whoa right? This is such 37 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: a common one for so many people. Now, why do 38 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: we need closure? 39 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 2: Jay's advice is tailored for the Internet, but it's rooted 40 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 2: in Hindu philosophy. Jay was a monk in India for 41 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 2: three years in his twenties, and that time gave him 42 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 2: insights into the way that anyone can be more loving 43 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 2: and more compassionate and more monk like, even if you've 44 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 2: never been to an Ashram. Today we have Jay's Modern 45 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 2: Love essay about dating like a monk and how that 46 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: led him to the love of his life. Jay Sheddy, 47 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: so excited to have you on the show. Welcome to 48 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: Modern Love. 49 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: Ah, thank you so much for having me. I'm so 50 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: grateful to be here. 51 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 2: So, Jay, you became a monk right after you graduated university, 52 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 2: which is not the traditional postgrad plan. How did you 53 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 2: make the choice to tokeate yourself to this way of life? 54 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: So the first monk I ever met was at a 55 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: college event. I used to go and hear speakers and 56 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: athletes and musicians and thought leaders speak all the time. 57 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: I went there expecting very little and thinking I didn't 58 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: need anything that he was going to share. But I 59 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: walked out of there with the newfound direction. He was 60 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 1: talking about how the greatest gift in life, for the 61 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: greatest purpose is to use our skills in the service 62 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: of others. Now, when I look back, I realized that 63 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: when I was eighteen, I'd met people who were beautiful, 64 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: I'd met people who were rich, but I don't think 65 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: i'd met anyone who is truly content and truly self aware. 66 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: And he was all of those things. And so I thought, well, 67 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: I want those things. Those things seemed to be worthy 68 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: of pursuit. So, you know, for the next three to 69 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: four years, I still had relationships, I was still going out, 70 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: I was still doing anything that any person does at college. 71 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: But I would spend my Some and Christmas vacations often 72 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: visiting his monastery in India. Oh wow, Okay, And I'd 73 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: spend the other half interning at financial companies and corporations 74 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: in London, thinking that that's what I was going to 75 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: do for work. And every time i'd come back from 76 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: the monastery, I'd be full of joy and enthusiasm and energy. 77 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: And every time i'd finish my internship, I'd think, I 78 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: don't think that that's what I'm meant to be doing. 79 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: So I allowed myself to live two separate lives because 80 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: I was just trying to learn and understand. I was 81 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: very young. I even skipped my graduation ceremonies because I 82 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: was already in the monastery. 83 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and the other was everyone in your life? How 84 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 2: did they react to that choice? 85 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: So a lot of my friends were really confused. They 86 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: were just like, what are you doing? Like, you know, 87 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: everyone was getting fancy jobs and my extended family and 88 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: community was actually quite negative. They were saying things like, 89 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: you're wasting your life, You're never going to get a 90 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: job again, you're joining a car. 91 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 2: Wow. What would you tell them was so important about 92 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 2: this way of life that you needed to go dedicate 93 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 2: your existence to it? 94 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: Well, the two things that I saw the monks in 95 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: those summer and Christmas vacations, what they dedicated their life 96 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: to was self mastery and service. And when I talk 97 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: about self mastery, I mean understanding ego, understanding envy, understanding 98 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: what our emotions are trying to tell us and how 99 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: to respond to them. And the other half of service 100 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: that they were living their life trying to build sustainable 101 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: villages or food distribution programs to help the poor or 102 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: disadvantaged children. And I saw them living their life in 103 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: a way trying to positively impact others, and I thought, 104 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: that's what I want to dedicate my life to, is 105 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: figuring out what's going on inside of me and then 106 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: help people figuring out what's going on outside. 107 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 2: You became a monk in your twenties when most people 108 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 2: are going out and flirting and going on dat and 109 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: your modern love essay kind of begins with you listing 110 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 2: out what your priorities were when you were a monk. 111 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: Can you read that part of your essay for me? 112 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: Yes? Absolutely, So. Monks are famously celibate, but celibacy doesn't 113 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: just mean you're not having sex. It means you're not 114 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: interacting with other people in a way that could be 115 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: considered romantic. The Sanskrit word for monk, brahmacharia, means the 116 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: right use of energy. It's not that romance and sexual 117 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: energy are wrong, but my practice teaches that we all 118 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: have a limited amount of energy, which can be directed 119 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: in multiple directions or one, and when energy is scattered, 120 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 1: it's difficult to create momentum or impact. 121 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 2: You mentioned that these monks that you saw, who you 122 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 2: so admired and were learning from, have this method of 123 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 2: self mastery. Can you tell me what you learned about 124 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: that method of subduing the ego over those three years. 125 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. So, from a more general standpoint, I'd say that 126 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: when you're living with a group of men in an ushroom, 127 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: every single person is a mirror for your ego because 128 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: you're having so many interactions daily that trigger you. 129 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 2: Huh, what do you mean triggered? Like you know you 130 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 2: have a difficult conversation or something. 131 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it could It could be a difficult conversation. It 132 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: could be that someone didn't save food for you when 133 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: you relate to lunch or breakfast, right. It could be 134 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: that you weren't selected to give a class this morning 135 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: and someone else was, and you start noticing very worldly 136 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: responses to spiritual tasks, and you realize that just being 137 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: in an ushroom doesn't remove your ear. So I'd say 138 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: that some of the practices that really helped were the 139 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: practices of recognizing that everyone was a teacher and a 140 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: student at the same time. This is something that was 141 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: one of my favorite moments. Actually. I was with my 142 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 1: monk teacher and he's in his sixties or seventies at 143 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: the time, and I'm a young new monk, and every 144 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: morning I would bow down to him, which was our custom, 145 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: and he would bow down again back to me. And 146 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 1: I would always think how special that was because there 147 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: was this mutual respect. And I think that practice was 148 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: really beautiful because you realized that you were never at 149 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: the top and you were never at the bottom. 150 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 2: Well, I want to talk about your decision to leave 151 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: the ashram after three years. How did you make that call. 152 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: So it was the most difficult decision I'd made at 153 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: the time. Communal living was really tough on my body 154 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: in terms of my health. I would get sick more 155 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: often in the USHERM. You know, you're living in rooms 156 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: from sometimes thirty to one hundred people, and so there 157 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: was a physical health component. And then there was this 158 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: deeper realization that I loved what I was learning. But 159 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: all I dreamt about and thought about was how could 160 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 1: I share this with other people? Because I know so 161 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: many of my friends are dealing with this, but they're 162 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: not going to come here, but I really feel the 163 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: desire to share it with them, and I want to 164 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 1: do that. And so there were these two self awareness 165 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: pieces which led me to realize I wasn't a monk. 166 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: And I think that's almost like realizing that you told 167 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: someone you love them, but now you're falling out of 168 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: love with them, or you realize you're not in love 169 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: them anymore. Like that's how it felt. 170 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 2: Did you talk to your teachers at all when you 171 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: were thinking about making this hard decision to leave the Ashram? 172 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: I did. I did, And I was even scared to 173 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: talk to them about it because I didn't want to 174 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,839 Speaker 1: feel judged, or you know, you're almost dropping out and 175 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: think what are your teachers going to say? Right? And 176 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: my teacher said to me when I told him that 177 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: I think I should leave, he said to me that 178 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: some people go to college and some of them become professors. 179 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 1: And he said some of them leave after their degree 180 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: and they become entrepreneurs or they work at a company. 181 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 1: And he said, which one's better, the people who become 182 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: professors or the people who leave. And I said neither. 183 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 1: I mean whatever's right for the person. And he said, well, 184 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: that's the same here. He said, some people come and 185 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: they graduate to become monks, and they stay here for 186 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 1: many years, and some take their training like you did, 187 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: and leave and go on to do wonderful things. And 188 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 1: he said, I think you'll be very happy if you're 189 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: sharing what you've learned, and so you should do that. 190 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: And so there was this really like understanding open view 191 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: of no, maybe it's not right for you anymore. It 192 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: was right for you then and not anymore, and there's 193 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. 194 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 2: Even in your decision to leave them. They had compassion 195 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 2: for you, which is really beautiful. 196 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: Exactly that time was extremely tough for me, and it 197 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: wasn't even a happy decision. And it was even more 198 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: depressing because when I came back, everyone was like, oh 199 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: we told you so, oh you came back. Oh you 200 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: failed being a monk. And then you know, I was 201 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: applying for jobs and forty companies rejected me without an interview, 202 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: and I was thinking, oh god, because. 203 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 2: Your resume had Ashram for three years on it and 204 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 2: nothing else. 205 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, it's like, what are your transferable skills? 206 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: Sitting star silent and being still like, no one wants 207 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: that in their company, and so it was it was 208 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: just almost like maybe everyone was right and maybe I 209 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: did just waste three years. Yeah, really really difficult time. 210 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 2: When you came back to London. You know, like in 211 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 2: a science fiction movie or something, when people are frozen 212 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 2: in those little pods and then they get released after 213 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: thousands of years and they're like, what is a cell phone? 214 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 2: Was it like that for you when you came back 215 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 2: to London? Did you not recognize anything around you? 216 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: The hardest part is having to do small when you've 217 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: done no small talk for three years, right, You've not 218 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: had a conversation about the latest TV show or the 219 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: latest movie. 220 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 2: Have you heard about self mastery and they'd be like, what, 221 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 2: that's exactly it. That must have been really awkward as 222 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 2: you started to get back into dating two. What was 223 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 2: that part of it, like, like building a social life 224 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 2: dating again. 225 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 1: I didn't really think about dating overall, as I kind 226 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: of I guess I was a bit scared, but I 227 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 1: didn't even think about it that way. But I had 228 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: definitely like forgotten how to flirt. But when I started 229 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: talking to my now wife, because she was really good 230 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: friends with my sister and she'd be over at our 231 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: place and I'd be talking to her right, I only 232 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: really knew how to have really thoughtful, vulnerable, deep conversations. 233 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: I do remember that she was always very inquisitive, and 234 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: so that was kind of helpful for me to just 235 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: totally be myself. That kind of made it easy for 236 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: me to be around her, I guess, because it wasn't 237 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: someone that I had to be someone I wasn't around. 238 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 2: After the break, Jay Shetty goes on a date after 239 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 2: leaving the Ashram and it does not go well. That's next. 240 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 2: So Jay, you've left the Ashram, you're back living in London, 241 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 2: trying to return to a normal life. You're working you're 242 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 2: starting to date, and eventually you go on a date 243 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 2: with Roddy, who is now your wife. Can you read 244 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 2: the part of your essay where you talk about your 245 00:13:59,120 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 2: first date with her? 246 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely? The night was going to cost me nearly a 247 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 1: week's income, and I wanted it to be perfect. We 248 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 1: were at Locanda Locatelli, one of the best restaurants in London, 249 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: when we slid into a buttery leather booth. I winced. 250 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: She was vegan, and vegans aren't known to appreciate leather boots. 251 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: But the lights were low, the ambiance beautiful, and I 252 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: was still hoping to hear how impressed she was. Do 253 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: you think they have anything vegan on the menu, she said, 254 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 1: sounding more worried than excited. They're famous for their fresh pasta, 255 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: I said, trying to sound optimistic, but I had signed 256 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: us up for a special tasting menu and I didn't 257 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: know how much choice she would have. Fresh pasta usually 258 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: has eggs, she said, But we'll see. The service is amazing, right, 259 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 1: I said. She smiled politely, but she wasn't eating much. 260 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: After dinner. I drove her home and dropped her off 261 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: outside her apartment. She thanked me and waived a friendly 262 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: goodbye that the evening had fallen flat. Clearly, I had 263 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: no idea what I was doing. 264 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 2: Oh I'm feeling for you Jay in this moment. Oh 265 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 2: my gosh, Why do you think it was so easy 266 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 2: for you to slip back into this sort of unmonklike 267 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 2: mode of trying to impress Rody? Like? What is it 268 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: about dating someone that made you slip back to the 269 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 2: old way of life? 270 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 1: I think we're so unaware, and we underestimate how strongly 271 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: our conditioning and wiring leads our life. Since I was young, 272 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: I saw the dates that movies had in rom coms. 273 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: I had done those dates with partners in my teens 274 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: and college life, and so you assume that I just 275 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: have to keep repeating this cycle until it goes wrong. 276 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: And I think we don't realize how many cycles and 277 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: how many patterns we live in until we start to 278 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: break them. And it was only later that I figured 279 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: out that my wife's favorite thing to do. She said 280 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: to me, my ideal date would be going to Tesco's 281 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: and walking down the bread aisle. Tesco's is England's Whole Foods. 282 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: And I think that she was speaking more from a 283 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: kind of funny tongue in cheek in terms of, hey, 284 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: I'm simple. I just want to walk down an isle 285 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: at a grocery store and pick something up to eat. 286 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: We don't need to go to a fancy restaurant. And 287 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: I thought that that was refreshing and beautiful because it 288 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: showed me that she didn't value those things. 289 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 2: How long did it take you to sort of relax 290 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 2: into yourself with Roddy and what did it take to 291 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: do that? 292 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: Well, I think it was. I give the credit to 293 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: her because she was so good at not trying to 294 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 1: impress someone back. And I don't know, Radi's just a 295 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,840 Speaker 1: special human being. It's just like she's so different and 296 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: weird in a good way. I dedicated my first book 297 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: to her, and I wrote the dedication to be to 298 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: my wife, who's more monk than I'll ever be. I 299 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,399 Speaker 1: just think that a lot of the qualities I learned 300 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: during my time as a monk, Radi had them quite naturally. 301 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: I look for monk qualities in everyone I meet, and 302 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,439 Speaker 1: I believe everyone, whether they've been a monk or not, 303 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,719 Speaker 1: have them. But the monk life really helps us consciously 304 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: train them and build them and develop them as well. 305 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm struck by when you said that she was, 306 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: even though it was a bit of a joke, like 307 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 2: I just want to walk down the bred aisle, that 308 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 2: sort of simple, pure way of connecting does feel very 309 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 2: monk like of her. I mean it sounds like you 310 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 2: were picking up on these sort of monk like qualities 311 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,959 Speaker 2: in her even early on. 312 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: I think that as well. But I think another thing 313 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: that just came to mind is RADI would always say, Oh, 314 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: I want you to come and spend time with my family. 315 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:01,640 Speaker 1: My family's really important to me. Remember when I first 316 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,719 Speaker 1: started hanging out at her house, her family would all 317 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: often look at it and be like, are you really 318 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: gonna wear that when he comes over, because she'd just 319 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 1: be in sweats or whatever, and she'd be like, Yeah, 320 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: that is what I'm gonna wear because that's what I 321 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: would wear if I was at the house totally. And 322 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 1: so she had this really like honest, vulnerable, open way 323 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: of being from the beginning, and I think that was 324 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,719 Speaker 1: definitely monk like as well, to just say, yeah, this 325 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 1: is who I am and this is how we'll be. 326 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 2: And it's part of your practice now to try to 327 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 2: develop or even hone those monk qualities in other people. Correct, 328 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 2: that's your books and your podcast. That's sort of about 329 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 2: sort of training folks who haven't spent years in Ashram 330 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 2: to exhibit these qualities in their own life. 331 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. The literatures that I studied during my 332 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: time as a monk really laid out the four stages 333 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: of life almost as four classrooms of love. So the 334 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: four stages of life are considered you know, life in 335 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: solitude or monk life or single life. The second stage 336 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: is relationship life or married life. The third stage of 337 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 1: life is almost reflecting and thinking about what you want 338 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: to do next. And then the fourth stage of life 339 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 1: is loving the world. And the monks believe that the 340 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: most important love story is the love story you have 341 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 1: with anyone and everyone and with the world. I think 342 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: so often we've built up this idea in society that 343 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: the most important love story is your romantic love story. 344 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: So many people either go through life single and think 345 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,199 Speaker 1: that they're unworthy of love because they don't have a 346 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: romantic partner, or someone loses their romantic partner and then 347 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: they feel like they don't have any love in their life, 348 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: but the love of a brother, a sister, or a 349 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: mother or a father, like all of these loves count like. 350 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: We can't say that romantic love is above or below 351 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: any of these. 352 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 2: Jay of those four steps, what stage do you think 353 00:19:59,440 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 2: you're in? 354 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: I would say that I probably have a bit of 355 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: a glimpse into all of them. 356 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 2: Wow, okay, uh huh. 357 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: Probably at step two practicing to love my wife and 358 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 1: the people around me. But I have a glimpse into 359 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 1: step three and four because Step three requires a lot 360 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: of healing tact love within yourself. And then stage four 361 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,199 Speaker 1: is where I want to live every day, which is 362 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: I want to love everyone, and I want to share 363 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: love with everyone on the planet, and I want to 364 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: be able to spread love across the world. 365 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 2: Well, you are on a world tour, so i'd say 366 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 2: you're pretty You're pretty far in your way to step four. 367 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: I guess I think I'm definitely. That's why I meant 368 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: That's why I said glimpses, because when I'm with my teachers, 369 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 1: I see how they live in that space, and I 370 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: see how I just have a little peak, and that's 371 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: good enough to prove to me it's real. And so 372 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 1: I feel grateful that there's more to learn, though I'm 373 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: not upset I'm not there. I'm happy that I know 374 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: where I have to go. All I'm trying to give 375 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: people is I don't want anyone to feel shame or 376 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: guilt for how they currently live. I want you to 377 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 1: feel clarity and curiosity about where you still have to go. 378 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,159 Speaker 2: M Jay Sheddy, thank you so much for coming on 379 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: the show. 380 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. So grateful and appreciate your 381 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: time and energy. 382 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 2: Modern Love is produced by Julia Botero, Christina Josa, and 383 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 2: Hans Buto. It's edited by Sarah Sarason. Our executive producer 384 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 2: is Jen Poyant. This episode was mixed by Mary and Lozano. 385 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,120 Speaker 2: Our show was recorded by Mattie Macielo. The Modern Love 386 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 2: theme music is by Dan Powell. Original music in this 387 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,680 Speaker 2: episode by Marion Lozano, Pat McCusker, and Rowan Nina Stow. 388 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 2: Digital production by Mihima Chablani and Nelgael Oakley. Special thanks 389 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 2: to Jay Shetty's team, Nicole Berg and ENnie Ginghold. The 390 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 2: Modern Love column is edited by Daniel Jones. Me A 391 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,200 Speaker 2: Lee is the editor of Modern Love Projects. I'm Anna Martin, 392 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 2: thanks for listening. 393 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: I'm not in this world to live up to your 394 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: expectations and you're not in this world to live up 395 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 1: to mine. I just love that quote from Bruce Lee. 396 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: And while it can feel really hard to overcome the 397 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: limits placed on you by others, I'm here to remind 398 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 1: you their limits don't have to be yours. The next 399 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: seven minutes are about your potential and defying expectations. I'm 400 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: Jay Sheddy. Welcome to the Daily Jay. Before we go 401 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: any further, let's get centered with three deliberate breaths inhaling 402 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: and exhaling, filling your lungs with ease, emptying them with focus, 403 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:24,239 Speaker 1: embracing this moment, and tuning in. Today, I'd like to 404 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: introduce you to one of the most exciting runners of 405 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: the past twenty years. No, I'm not talking about Usain 406 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: Bolt or Alison Felix. I'm talking about Fouger's Singh, the 407 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:43,439 Speaker 1: world's oldest marathoner now. Fougia was not born with the 408 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: traditional athletic build In fact, his legs were so skinny 409 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 1: and weak that he couldn't walk at all until age five. 410 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 1: Growing up in a farming village in India, other kids 411 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: would tease him. They called him Dunder, which is Njabi 412 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 1: for stick. Eventually, Fouga grew fit and healthy. He got married, 413 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,880 Speaker 1: had six children and a farm of his own. It 414 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 1: was a good life, not without its challenges, but one 415 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 1: that was full and fulfilling. Then, in his mid eighties, 416 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 1: Fauja suffered the loss of his middle son, called Deep. 417 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: His wife had passed away a few years earlier, and 418 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: the rest of his children had long ago left India. 419 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: Fauja felt lonely and lost, so he moved to England 420 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 1: to live with some of his remaining family. He started 421 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,719 Speaker 1: running with fellow Punjabi expats, and he found that it 422 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: helped him cope with his grief. It gave him purpose, 423 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: and in fact, he was good at it, really good 424 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: for his age. He had stayed in shape with his 425 00:24:55,840 --> 00:25:00,440 Speaker 1: lifelong farm work, and when he challenged other seniors would win. 426 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: Then one day he saw a marathon on TV. He 427 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: didn't know exactly what the race was, but he wanted 428 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: to compete. Even though Fouger enjoyed running, it seemed like 429 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,879 Speaker 1: a stretch to prepare for a twenty six mile trek, 430 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 1: but Fouger was determined. He found a coach to train him, 431 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: and several months later he finished the London Marathon. In 432 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 1: just under seven hours. Since then, he has made global headlines, 433 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: running and astonishing eight more marathons. He's also broken several 434 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: world records, including being the first one hundred year old 435 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: to finish a marathon. Fouga's last competitive race was a 436 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: ten k in twenty thirteen, just before he turned one 437 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: hundred and two. He's now retired, but he still runs 438 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 1: for fun at the age of one huge hundred and eleven. 439 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: All my life, Faugia once said, people set limitations on me. 440 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: They said I would never walk, They said I would 441 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: never farm. They certainly never thought I would set records 442 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,480 Speaker 1: with my running. No matter what people said, I always 443 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: believed in myself. I never gave up. Fauga's story is 444 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: remarkable because he didn't let the expectations of others determine 445 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: his path or slow him down, despite the supposed barriers 446 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: in his way. Maybe you can relate to that. Maybe 447 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: there's something you want to do but people keep saying 448 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: you can't, or you've been teased for something that's supposed 449 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,880 Speaker 1: to hold you back, whatever it may be. Don't let 450 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 1: outside opinions prevent you from pursuing your passions or chasing 451 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: your dreams. Don't let others define what your life looks like. 452 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:11,880 Speaker 1: Remember those are their limits, not yours. And as our 453 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: time today winds down, let's meditate on that. So get 454 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 1: comfortable wherever you are, allowing your body and mind to 455 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 1: relax into the present. See if you can adopt a 456 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: compassionate attitude here, embracing yourself and your experience whatever this 457 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: practice brings. This is a moment of rest. You don't 458 00:27:53,040 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 1: have to do anything or be anywhere. And if you 459 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:10,959 Speaker 1: find your mind busy or your body restless, that's okay. 460 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 1: There's nothing you need to do with your thoughts or emotions. 461 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 1: Just observe that they exist and see if you can 462 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: gently let them be. Allow yourself to feel whatever you're 463 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: feeling right now. Meditation is a beautiful opportunity to just 464 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: be aware of your present experience. And now let's open 465 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: this up. Bring to mind an interest that you might 466 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: like to pursue, but you're hesitant, wondering if time has 467 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: passed you by. Can you open yourself up to the 468 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: possibility that it's not actually too late. What's one step 469 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: you could take toward that interest. I'm looking forward to 470 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: seeing what you're going to do next. Thanks for being here. Today, 471 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 1: I'd love you to share this message with someone who 472 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: could use it, and I'll see you tomorrow