1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: M hm okay. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast,

2
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all

3
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,400
Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best

4
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,760
Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard

5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,560
Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more

6
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit

7
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While

8
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,479
Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast,

9
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,320
Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for a

10
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:56,920
Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks

11
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,440
Speaker 1: so much for joining me for session two of the

12
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,600
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into the

13
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:14,600
Speaker 1: episode after a word from our sponsors. Whether you're working

14
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,240
Speaker 1: as a full time creative or balancing your entrepreneurial goals

15
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,120
Speaker 1: with your nine to five, the creator economy seemingly never

16
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:27,399
Speaker 1: stops between Instagram reels, Twitter feeds, YouTube buffloads and discovering

17
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,640
Speaker 1: nutrients on TikTok. The pressure to publish fresh content is constant.

18
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 1: The consistent pressure to create and publish something new can

19
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,280
Speaker 1: tax our mental health, lead to exhaustion, and ultimately result

20
00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,480
Speaker 1: in creator Burnout. Joining us this week is award winning journalist,

21
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:48,760
Speaker 1: on air host, cultural critic, producer, and podcaster Brittany Loose.

22
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,400
Speaker 1: You may recognize Brittany as the familiar on air voice

23
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,840
Speaker 1: of Gimblets former daily show Than Nod, a podcast that

24
00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 1: explores all the beautiful, complemented dimensions of black life, as

25
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 1: well as for Colored Nerds, a show that deconstructs the

26
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,360
Speaker 1: nerd to your side of pop culture. Brittany and I

27
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:11,239
Speaker 1: explored how to identify burnout as a creator, setting boundaries online,

28
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 1: and how therapy has assisted her mental health journey as

29
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,679
Speaker 1: a full time creative. If something resonates with you while

30
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,040
Speaker 1: enjoying our conversation, please share with us on social media

31
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: using the hashtag TBG in session or join us over

32
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,680
Speaker 1: in the sister Circle to talk more in depth about

33
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,840
Speaker 1: the episode. You can join us at community dot Therapy

34
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:36,160
Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank you

35
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 1: so much for joining me today, Brittany. It feels like

36
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,520
Speaker 1: we are reconvening. I had an opportunity to chat with

37
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,160
Speaker 1: you a couple of times, so it is a pleasure

38
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 1: to have you now visit us here on Therapy for

39
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,680
Speaker 1: Black Girls sotur favor, So I'd love for you to

40
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,040
Speaker 1: start by just giving us a little bit of background.

41
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,040
Speaker 1: So you all started for Colored Nerds in did you

42
00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:01,600
Speaker 1: imagine that it would become your career? No, now that

43
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,280
Speaker 1: you really asked for that question, I was like, no,

44
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,760
Speaker 1: I never did. We started for Colored Nerds originally just

45
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,440
Speaker 1: as a creative project to do outside of work, await

46
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,080
Speaker 1: for us to spend more time together as friends, and

47
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,800
Speaker 1: also just to try out this new thing called podcasting.

48
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,120
Speaker 1: At the time that we started for Colored Nerds back

49
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 1: there were black podcasts out there are plenty of people

50
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 1: making black podcasts, there were not as many as there

51
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,959
Speaker 1: are today, and we just wanted to kind of see

52
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,800
Speaker 1: what it was all about. And we're both working in

53
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,360
Speaker 1: marketing or advertising at that point in time. We thought, Okay,

54
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 1: maybe this would be a a cool side project that we

55
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,440
Speaker 1: can kind of promote and make on our own, and

56
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,160
Speaker 1: maybe it will help me get a different, better, more

57
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 1: fulfilling job in marketing or something like that, something more

58
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,440
Speaker 1: aligned with my interests and tastes, because at that point

59
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,000
Speaker 1: I was working at a very i don't know if

60
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 1: a conservative but it was on the dryer side as

61
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,600
Speaker 1: far as Corporate America. It was definitely on the dryer side.

62
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,240
Speaker 1: Lovely coworkers, but what we were doing at work, it

63
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,800
Speaker 1: wasn't my passion, and so yeah, I just thought it

64
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,400
Speaker 1: was something that we would do on the side and

65
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 1: it would be fun in a way to be creative. Obviously,

66
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,280
Speaker 1: things have turned out quite a bit different, and I'm

67
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,040
Speaker 1: really grateful for that, but I wasn't expecting it at all.

68
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,040
Speaker 1: So would have been the things that have surprised you

69
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,080
Speaker 1: most about the journey it has taken. That's really good question.

70
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,000
Speaker 1: I think that one of the things that surprised me

71
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,360
Speaker 1: the most is just how responsive people have been over

72
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 1: the years. When we first got started, Eric and I

73
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,760
Speaker 1: were really trying to recreate conversations, I even recreate, but

74
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,000
Speaker 1: to sort of extend the conversations that we were having

75
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,440
Speaker 1: with each other and with our friends outwork, just to

76
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,599
Speaker 1: see if anybody else was thinking about the same things,

77
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,440
Speaker 1: or had the same questions or sort of going down

78
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,560
Speaker 1: the same rabbit holes. And it's been really amazing over

79
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:47,279
Speaker 1: the past seven almost eight years to see just how

80
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 1: many people were interested in the conversations that we were

81
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,920
Speaker 1: having with each other, and also how our conversations may

82
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 1: be reflected in their own lives at times, or if

83
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,640
Speaker 1: they weren't reflected in our listeners lives, how interested they

84
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,960
Speaker 1: were and just hearing where we were coming from. I

85
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 1: think that I've been really emboldened and encouraged and warmed

86
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,440
Speaker 1: honestly over the past eight years almost by how many

87
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,200
Speaker 1: people were just receptive and interested in what we had

88
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,280
Speaker 1: to say. Got it. One of the things that comes

89
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,760
Speaker 1: with being like a creative entrepreneur, it sounds like, is

90
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:23,960
Speaker 1: owning more of your time and having more time to

91
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,880
Speaker 1: think about what you're going to put out in the world.

92
00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,159
Speaker 1: What are some of the stresses? Are things that you

93
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 1: think we don't talk about enough with that kind of

94
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 1: a path. Mm, well, something I do wish people would

95
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:41,360
Speaker 1: talk more about is not everything that you make is

96
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,440
Speaker 1: going to be great, and sometimes it doesn't even have

97
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,000
Speaker 1: to be good. If you're a creative entrepreneur and the

98
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:53,320
Speaker 1: like everyday working since I'm not talking about like Aba

99
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:57,920
Speaker 1: DuVernay or Spike Lee, where there's money floating it all

100
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,200
Speaker 1: the time, everybody's trying to find you, and you only

101
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,720
Speaker 1: need to make one project every few years because you're

102
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,240
Speaker 1: making millions of dollars off that one project. That's not

103
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,040
Speaker 1: my life. If that's your life, I'm happy for you.

104
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,000
Speaker 1: That's not my life. There are a lot of projects

105
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,800
Speaker 1: that I work on that are happening on a schedule

106
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,920
Speaker 1: that is not set by me, or where things are

107
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,520
Speaker 1: happening on a weekly basis. So, for example, with for

108
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,479
Speaker 1: Colored Nerds, it's a weekly podcast. It comes out every week.

109
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,719
Speaker 1: There was a period of time where Eric and I

110
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,599
Speaker 1: co hosted this other black culture podcast that was more reported,

111
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,600
Speaker 1: called The Nod and that was really so much fun,

112
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,159
Speaker 1: so so so much fun. It was a lot of work,

113
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,560
Speaker 1: the sound design, reporting, there are so many aspects of

114
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,320
Speaker 1: it that were handled by us, and we had an

115
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,680
Speaker 1: incredible team of producers, editor engineers. Was great, but it

116
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,360
Speaker 1: had to come out every single week. So there are

117
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,880
Speaker 1: some episodes of the show that I am like, I

118
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 1: will hold this in my heart forever because it is

119
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,800
Speaker 1: such an incredible creative a chief even I'm still so

120
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,040
Speaker 1: proud of it. There's a couple episodes I look back

121
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,119
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I haven't actually heard anybody make anything

122
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,880
Speaker 1: quite like this, and that makes me feel really good.

123
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,360
Speaker 1: There are also some episodes that are really good or

124
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,120
Speaker 1: that for me, I'm like, I'm really proud of how

125
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,160
Speaker 1: this turned out, but looking back, maybe there are a

126
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,520
Speaker 1: couple of things that I would change, or even after

127
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,040
Speaker 1: I published it, I was like, this one's not a plus.

128
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,520
Speaker 1: There's a couple of things that I wish should have

129
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,520
Speaker 1: done differently, But I love those because they show growth.

130
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,400
Speaker 1: Then there are some episodes, not many, but a couple

131
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,720
Speaker 1: where it was like, Okay, this Wednesday, the episode comes

132
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 1: out on Monday. Whatever we were gonna do has fallen through.

133
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,520
Speaker 1: We need to put something out of our back pocket

134
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,560
Speaker 1: right now and get something together. Do we have a

135
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 1: spare segment that we recorded a couple of months ago

136
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,440
Speaker 1: we didn't know what to do with. Can we play

137
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,120
Speaker 1: a game in the studio and put those together and

138
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,760
Speaker 1: turn those into a full episode and put it out

139
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,920
Speaker 1: on Monday. There are some episodes like that. Some of

140
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 1: them are amazing experience that turned into some of our

141
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,320
Speaker 1: favorite episodes and that were great form breakers for us.

142
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,760
Speaker 1: But some of them I look back and I'm like, well,

143
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,200
Speaker 1: that was what we had to work with at the time.

144
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,239
Speaker 1: But I think that when you're of entrepreneur, many people

145
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,960
Speaker 1: are operating on somebody else's timeline or on some sort

146
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,360
Speaker 1: of continuous delivery schedule, and when that's the case, sometimes

147
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,040
Speaker 1: you just need to get what you're making out the door.

148
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,560
Speaker 1: Like perfection is the enemy of done, and I think

149
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,840
Speaker 1: a lot of people know that, but I think something

150
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,200
Speaker 1: that I wish people talk more about is everything that

151
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,280
Speaker 1: you put out can't be perfect. If you are on

152
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,600
Speaker 1: a continuous published schedule, or if you have clients that

153
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,360
Speaker 1: require work from you all of the time. Sometimes the

154
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,240
Speaker 1: inspiration is not there, or the interview fell through, or

155
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:38,360
Speaker 1: something happened with your technology or your equipment, and you

156
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:44,079
Speaker 1: just need to fulfill your minimum requirements for that project.

157
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,320
Speaker 1: It doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes you just

158
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,200
Speaker 1: need to like let go of the idea that every

159
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,040
Speaker 1: single thing that you put out is going to be perfect.

160
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,800
Speaker 1: Some of those things are going to be your interstitial

161
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,200
Speaker 1: growth points where maybe it's not exactly how you hoped

162
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,439
Speaker 1: it would turn out, but you stretch yourself and you

163
00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,839
Speaker 1: learn something. Sometimes you are going to put out those

164
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,160
Speaker 1: incredible articles, or you're gonna do a sculpture that really

165
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,079
Speaker 1: takes you to a new place so that you feel

166
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,680
Speaker 1: like is really exemplary of the kind of work that

167
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,800
Speaker 1: you're capable of doing. But sometimes you just have to

168
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,040
Speaker 1: get it done, and I think that sometimes ego can

169
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:19,040
Speaker 1: get in the way of being comfortable with those moments

170
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,920
Speaker 1: and accepting those moments. I will say, back when Eric

171
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,760
Speaker 1: and I were making the nod podcast, eventually it was

172
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,880
Speaker 1: turned into a streaming show for quimby which you joined

173
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,840
Speaker 1: us on, we had put off four five episodes a week.

174
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:36,600
Speaker 1: You can't be too precious before week, you can't. And

175
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,600
Speaker 1: I think with that taught me that and also all

176
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,960
Speaker 1: the weekly published schedules I've ever had for podcasting is

177
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,240
Speaker 1: that if you put out a great episode, okay, well

178
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,280
Speaker 1: you've got another one do next week. And if you

179
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,640
Speaker 1: put it out a terrible episode, it's like, all right,

180
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,880
Speaker 1: you got another shot next week. I think it's more

181
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,280
Speaker 1: about like looking at the cumulative I guess total, like

182
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,120
Speaker 1: the sum total of all your work together and seeing

183
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:01,040
Speaker 1: the growth and seeing your capabilities and full rather than

184
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,600
Speaker 1: focusing on anyone's specific project and thinking that this is

185
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,360
Speaker 1: the thing that's going to make or break you, or

186
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,920
Speaker 1: this is the thing that's going to perfectly represent you

187
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 1: for the rest of your career. So is that something

188
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,360
Speaker 1: that has been difficult for you? Because I think a

189
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,800
Speaker 1: lot of people who are creatives are artists, and you know,

190
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,199
Speaker 1: there's this whole thing from Erica, right, Like, I'm an

191
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,200
Speaker 1: artist and I'm sensitive about my issue, right, And so

192
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,000
Speaker 1: the idea of like putting out something that you're not like,

193
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,280
Speaker 1: really really pleased with, I think is something a lot

194
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 1: of people would struggle with. Is that something you struggle with,

195
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,880
Speaker 1: and if so, what has been helpful to you and

196
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,760
Speaker 1: kind of working through this. I do struggle to let

197
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,080
Speaker 1: things go. But at the end of the day, I

198
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,240
Speaker 1: think of it like a machine. Whatever the machine's output

199
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,360
Speaker 1: doesn't come out when it's supposed to come out, machine

200
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,400
Speaker 1: will get jammed up and I won't be able to

201
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,319
Speaker 1: serve my next idea. If I'm still mentally and emotionally

202
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 1: caught up on whatever my most recent output was, or worse,

203
00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,720
Speaker 1: I'll get jammed up because I'm not willing to let go.

204
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,360
Speaker 1: I think about it like making space. And something that

205
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,240
Speaker 1: I always believed in with dating and also with a

206
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,840
Speaker 1: lot of other things in life is if you don't

207
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:10,320
Speaker 1: let go up something, you're not gonna have space for

208
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,240
Speaker 1: the next thing to come through. In dating, that looks

209
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,480
Speaker 1: like not deleting and blocking your ex's phone number and

210
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:21,360
Speaker 1: entertaining that communication so that your mind is occupied when

211
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,680
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be seeing new people or spending time

212
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,760
Speaker 1: with yourself or minding your hobbies. But I think with creativity,

213
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,200
Speaker 1: it looks like not letting go and lingering too hard

214
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,760
Speaker 1: on the last thing. And I think that that can

215
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,800
Speaker 1: go in two directions. That can go in the direction

216
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 1: that we're discussing, which is like worrying about how good

217
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 1: it turned out or whether or not you did a

218
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,760
Speaker 1: great job right, But it can also go in the

219
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 1: opposite direction, feeling too pleased with yourself and not just

220
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,680
Speaker 1: reflecting on how well something went, feeling good about it,

221
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,760
Speaker 1: but then also taking that energy into the next project.

222
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 1: I think it's just important to keep moving forward. And

223
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,079
Speaker 1: so can you talk about like what creative burnout has

224
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,080
Speaker 1: looked like for you and what kinds of things have

225
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,880
Speaker 1: been helpful for you to kind of pool yourself out

226
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,720
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, so you brought that up. Burnout is

227
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 1: a word I have been well acquainted with for like six, seven,

228
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,080
Speaker 1: eight years. And I would be lying if I said

229
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 1: that I had it all figured out or that I

230
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,360
Speaker 1: always know how to get out of it. I'd be

231
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,000
Speaker 1: lying if I said I wasn't going through it right now.

232
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,720
Speaker 1: I looked at my council last week and it's all

233
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,080
Speaker 1: color coat and everything, so I know where I'm supposed

234
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,240
Speaker 1: to be and what category it is and everything like that.

235
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,920
Speaker 1: I was like, Who'll put this schedule together? Who did this?

236
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,040
Speaker 1: It was kind of me kind of a couple of

237
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,560
Speaker 1: projects that I'm on that just this week just hit

238
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 1: really hard. Burnout is something I definitely definitely struggle with.

239
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm thirty four years old, so I've been in like

240
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 1: the workforce right for about thirteen fourteen years, like the

241
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,160
Speaker 1: past like six or seven years, I've been doing creative

242
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,319
Speaker 1: work full time. But before the I didn't. I used

243
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,640
Speaker 1: to work in city government, I used to nanny, I

244
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: used to do all of these different things. I've seen

245
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,200
Speaker 1: how burnout affects me, whether I'm being like a creative

246
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 1: entrepreneur or a full time creative, or being somebody who's

247
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,040
Speaker 1: in a full time service job or office job. And

248
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:21,800
Speaker 1: it is devastating, I think in all senses to be

249
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,440
Speaker 1: going through burnout and trying to work and trying to

250
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,719
Speaker 1: have your life and manage your emotions and do all

251
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,280
Speaker 1: those things. But it's really tough when you're creative professional

252
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,120
Speaker 1: to be dealing with burnout, because that's when the ideas

253
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:37,120
Speaker 1: stopped flowing. But when you're burnt out and you're creative,

254
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,520
Speaker 1: like I said, if you don't tend to it, that

255
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,120
Speaker 1: is when the idea stopped coming or the idea stopped flowing.

256
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,840
Speaker 1: And I found that the most important thing is to

257
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,880
Speaker 1: actually just take the time, because the thing is, I

258
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,400
Speaker 1: also have learned if I don't take the time, my

259
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,760
Speaker 1: body will take it for me. Your body will tell

260
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,079
Speaker 1: you to stop. When I fell asleep the other day

261
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,480
Speaker 1: between interviews, and I'm not a napper. If you don't stop,

262
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,199
Speaker 1: your body will stop for you. And last week that

263
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:02,679
Speaker 1: looked like me having to take a nap in the

264
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,360
Speaker 1: middle of the day. But other times it's turned out

265
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,200
Speaker 1: not so simple. I've learned more over the years about

266
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,439
Speaker 1: how to handle burnout, but for me, it really involves

267
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:17,240
Speaker 1: actually slowing down and pausing, not necessarily stopping work or

268
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,280
Speaker 1: anything like that, because even as freelancers most of us

269
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 1: don't have that luxury, but saying no to more things

270
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:28,440
Speaker 1: and being a lot more judicious and attentive around what

271
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,320
Speaker 1: I choose to say yes too. And then the things

272
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: that I do do, how do they make me feel.

273
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 1: So it's like, Okay, is it really worth the money

274
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,480
Speaker 1: for me to sit here and deal with this? I

275
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 1: found that sometimes it's just not. But yeah, I think

276
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 1: that really involves being aware of my energy, what things

277
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,600
Speaker 1: energize me, what things don't energize me, what people and

278
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 1: collaborators energize me, what people and collaborators do not for me.

279
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 1: It's as simple as there is work that I feel

280
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 1: called to do and that feels very invigorating and importan

281
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,640
Speaker 1: to me and gives me energy. And if I'm consistently

282
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,160
Speaker 1: doing work that is not bringing me towards that central purpose,

283
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,760
Speaker 1: I will feel out of alignment and it will exhaust me,

284
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,080
Speaker 1: and I will feel resentful and i will be mad.

285
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 1: I'm fortunate that I can do that, and I've worked

286
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,560
Speaker 1: to get to this point. But yeah, I just really

287
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,520
Speaker 1: avoiding things to people that suck your energy out and

288
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 1: and try and hold those boundaries. More from my conversation

289
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 1: with Brittany after the break. So, you know, you're in

290
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,400
Speaker 1: an interesting phosition, Brittany, because you have a business partner, right, Like,

291
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,360
Speaker 1: so much of your work is tied up with the

292
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,000
Speaker 1: work that Eric does, and so how has burned out

293
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,840
Speaker 1: impacted the relationship between the two of you, because I

294
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 1: can imagine like if you both are burned out at

295
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 1: the same time, which would not be like out of

296
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 1: the realm of what's possible. Given again, what has been

297
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,000
Speaker 1: happening for the past couple of years, right, So, how

298
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 1: has that impacted your relationship has been as partners? One

299
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,520
Speaker 1: of my other best friends, she has this phrase that

300
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,400
Speaker 1: she says, She's like, we can't both lose our mind

301
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 1: at the same time. She's like, we both can't lose

302
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 1: our mind at the same time. So is it gonna

303
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 1: be here? Is it gonna but you we gotta pick

304
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 1: who needs to do it more right now. I think

305
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,880
Speaker 1: that it's thanctually a lot of people who work, whether

306
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:25,119
Speaker 1: it's in like a creative partnership or as business partners

307
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 1: or as spouses or co parents or whatever, if the

308
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,080
Speaker 1: other person seems like they really are going through it

309
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 1: and they kind of need some support, you kind of

310
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 1: amp up. I think that we're sensitive to each other's

311
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,720
Speaker 1: energy levels and sort of like who seems like they

312
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:44,480
Speaker 1: have the energy to drive the boat right now, and

313
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 1: we just sort of pick up where the other person

314
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 1: might need some help or whatever you know of course

315
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 1: their periods of time, or both of us are super

316
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 1: chopping at the bid things are. Sometimes it's seventy thirty.

317
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:59,280
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's it's just important that things flow back and forth,

318
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 1: I think each side. But yeah, I think that we're

319
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,680
Speaker 1: both sort of are sensitive to when the other person

320
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 1: might have a bunch of deadlines right now, or whether

321
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 1: they have something else going on in their personal life

322
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 1: that might need their attention more than work, because work

323
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 1: is not the most important thing. I think that's part

324
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 1: of it. But then also too, it's been a very

325
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,239
Speaker 1: long time since we're gonna have worked with just the

326
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 1: two of us. We've always had some sort of team

327
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: and that really helps too, as far as having other

328
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 1: people that we can sort of rely on and work with.

329
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 1: So if you don't have that team support that we've

330
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,719
Speaker 1: had built into our projects, then that might look like

331
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 1: outsourcing certain things. That might look like getting an accountant,

332
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,080
Speaker 1: or getting a shared assistant, or getting a producer, or

333
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,919
Speaker 1: getting somebody to handle whatever else you need help with.

334
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 1: It might look like getting somebody to cover some of

335
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 1: those other bases so that the two of you can

336
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 1: be freed up to continue to focus more on your work.

337
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 1: M I'm glad you brought that up, Brittany, because I

338
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 1: have definitely found that like having a team of people

339
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,400
Speaker 1: to help support me in this work has really been

340
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 1: a game changer, and I think can be one of

341
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,360
Speaker 1: the things you put in play to prevent against burnout

342
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 1: when you can is having people who you can rely

343
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,439
Speaker 1: on to help produce the work that is required of

344
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,879
Speaker 1: a weekly podcast or whatever. Who are some of the

345
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: people that you have put in place that have helped

346
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 1: you to keep the boat going in the right direction.

347
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 1: Well as far as Eric and are working together right now,

348
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: we're really fortunate that we have like a great producer,

349
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,199
Speaker 1: Alexis Williams, She's amazing. We have Alas Ellis, who you

350
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,440
Speaker 1: know who has been a great social media manager for us.

351
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: You know Camille Stanley who is our executive producer right now,

352
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: who is with Stitcher, the company that we're partnered with,

353
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 1: and they keep the training on the track. But one

354
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: thing I will say that is a really great benefit

355
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 1: of having a creative partner or a team or even

356
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 1: a business partner is that I think the presence of

357
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 1: another person is very energizing when you're working on something

358
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: by yourself. A lot of times you have to be

359
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: that person to kind of kick your own butt to

360
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,959
Speaker 1: stay excited about something, which is a really fun journey.

361
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 1: I will say I enjoy doing that a lot. But yeah,

362
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: when you have that other person helps to kind of

363
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: push things over the line. Right. So, you know, you

364
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 1: bring up social media, and I think that that's something

365
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 1: else that I have personally found stressful. But that is

366
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: also I think a part of the don't don't hang

367
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 1: your hand. I'm hanging my head. I'm like, oh lord, yes,

368
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,960
Speaker 1: But I think when you host a show, like a

369
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 1: part of the responsibility is like making sure people know

370
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 1: about the show, right and like sharing things and you know,

371
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: but I feel like there's a lot that comes with

372
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: being like online. So can you talk a little bit

373
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 1: about the online activities that you may have straight away

374
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: from in the interests of like protecting your sanity and

375
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: like what kind of boundaries do you set up around

376
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 1: your online activity to kind of keep you healthy. Well,

377
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: that's a great question. I will say I have a

378
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 1: pretty healthy relationship with social media, and I'm really happy

379
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 1: about that. There's one school of thought which is that

380
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 1: if you have something you're putting it out there, you

381
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 1: need to be on all platforms, or at least two

382
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: or three really heavy to be able to get your

383
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 1: product and your show or your work or your writing

384
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: or whatever out there. I think we've seen that work

385
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. But if it is just you,

386
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: sometimes I think that you need to be mindful of

387
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 1: which medium would most help whatever it is that you're

388
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 1: trying to make. If it's just you and you don't

389
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: have a social media manager, you don't have a team,

390
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: or you're not working with a company that's providing support

391
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 1: for you, it's really important to think about, like, where

392
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: does it make the most sense for me to put

393
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: my energy into. So for me as somebody who works

394
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 1: in podcasting and has for some time, Instagram is not

395
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 1: always the number one place that people are going looking

396
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:37,400
Speaker 1: for podcasting stuff. I still am not sure where people

397
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 1: are looking for podcasting content all the time. But I

398
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,720
Speaker 1: found that Twitter, as somebody who also writes a lot,

399
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: is an important place for me to be. And also

400
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 1: I can get a lot out of being on the

401
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 1: platform without engaging with it too much. And also I

402
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: get a lot of work through Twitter, so it makes

403
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: sense for me to sort of feed Twitter. I maintain

404
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: my Instagram so that if somebody google me or looks

405
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 1: me up, they can easily see what it is that

406
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: I have done, and there if I okay, this is yeah,

407
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: she is who she says she is, Yeah, I'd say, like,

408
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 1: it's kind of important, I think, to figure out where

409
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 1: the audience is for what you're trying to make and

410
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 1: what makes the most sense, and then invest in that.

411
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 1: If it's just you maintain the other things so that

412
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: they're up to date, people know you're alive, like proof

413
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 1: of Life. But if you don't have the bandwidth and

414
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: it's not the focus of your practice or focus of

415
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 1: your business, just like feed whatever is growing to me

416
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 1: the most effortlessly and where it makes the most sense

417
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: for your work to be. So, have you had any

418
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 1: experiences with negativity online? And if so, how have you

419
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: dealt with it? My first instinct was to say, no,

420
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: I have. I have an instances of negativity online. I

421
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 1: had somebody once six or seven years ago, pay for

422
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 1: a promotional campaign built a website too to the idea

423
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 1: that I am the true racist. Obviously this man was white, obviously,

424
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: and also I think he worked in tech, but he

425
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: couldn't have been that bright because it was very easy

426
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 1: for me to google him and find out his personal

427
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 1: email address. It wasn't like the biggest deal in the

428
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,920
Speaker 1: world as far as like volume, but it was so

429
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 1: pointed and he clearly put a lot of effort and

430
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: money into it that it was overwhelming for me. I

431
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: think I took a cap from Brooklyn to the Upper

432
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 1: east Side, which I normally would not do. I really

433
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: must have been under drest because that's a lot of money,

434
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 1: and I was like, this man is being racist to me.

435
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: I was sobbing the entire ride on the phone with

436
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 1: my parents. I was losing my mind. That was probably

437
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: the worst instance of online harassment that I've ever dealt with. Also,

438
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 1: the company that I was working for at the time,

439
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 1: I decided not to do anything about it, which was

440
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,400
Speaker 1: like they did nothing to comfort or protect me, which

441
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: was a choice and something I've never forgotten. And that

442
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: was the only instance, though I would say, where somebody

443
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: had really done something to make me feel bad. I

444
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: had people like do other things that were nasty or

445
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: that we're mean, that we're rude, But it's not a

446
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: frequent occurrence, to be honest with you, and I think

447
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 1: that because my whole life doesn't happen online, like so

448
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 1: many other things happen in my life. I've been very

449
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: fortunate then that people have mostly just said mean or

450
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: rude things. It's infrequent, and also it's never crossed into

451
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: some sort of offline action. And I never have dealt

452
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: with like death threats, which has been a blessing. It

453
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 1: shouldn't be. It should be something that nobody has to

454
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: deal with. But other than that, I really don't deal

455
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 1: with it too much. For the most part, I have

456
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 1: really positive experiences online. I've made a lot of friends

457
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: and colleagues and gotten jobs that way, and I think

458
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: that a lot of that is luck, But I also

459
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: think that a lot of that is just not taking

460
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 1: it too seriously. More from my conversation with Brittany after

461
00:23:49,080 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: the break, So you have been really when Brittany across

462
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: all of your shows, and I think even in some

463
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: of your writings talking about like how going to therapy

464
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: has been incredibly helpful in supporting your professional career and

465
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: just other areas of your life. Can you talk about

466
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: how therapy has been supportive to you there? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

467
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: Ten years ago actually this June, I found the therapist

468
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: that I've been with for the past decade, and she's

469
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: been amaze zing. She has been amazing. When I first

470
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 1: started seeing her, I was in a relationship that was

471
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 1: not working, not healthy, and not good for me. I

472
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: was recovering from loss of job. I was forced to

473
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: quit basically because I was in a situation where I

474
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 1: was physically unsafe and so I had been sexually assaulted

475
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: at an old job. Had to quit and move cities

476
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: and start over and come up with all these reasons

477
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,360
Speaker 1: why I had these gaps in my resume and all

478
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,400
Speaker 1: these things like that. And I also had graduated during

479
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: the recession. So I had finished college with a film degree,

480
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 1: our history miner. It's a blessing, y'all. It's a blessing.

481
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 1: It's a blessing. I could pay bills now, but I

482
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: had graduated with not the most sought after degree in

483
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: the middle of a recession. It was a mess. I

484
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 1: was working a motorcycle dealership when I first started going

485
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,400
Speaker 1: to see my therapist. Okay, if you go to therapy

486
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 1: and you're honest, you're honest. If you go to therapy

487
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: and you're honest or as honest as you know how

488
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: to be at that point, right, and you listen to

489
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: yourself and what you're saying. Eventually, the things in your

490
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: life that you have control over that don't make sense,

491
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: you start putting two together. And for me, at least,

492
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: therapy caused and still causes a point of confrontation for

493
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: myself in my life where the things that I say

494
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: that I want to do and where I want to

495
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 1: be in the person I want to be meets the

496
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: things that I'm actually doing and what I'm saying I'm

497
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: doing and how I'm feeling at the moment, and it

498
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: forces me to sort of confront bring it back to alignment.

499
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: Is the person that I want to be the person

500
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: that I actually am or the things that I'm doing

501
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: right now are they in alignment? Is this healthy for me?

502
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 1: Is this working for me? One of the biggest things

503
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 1: I realized in therapy was I was so afraid of

504
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: getting the thing that I wanted or getting the opportunity

505
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 1: or meeting a great person, that I was much more

506
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: inclined to accept something that was not quite or just

507
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 1: all the way wrong for me. I was much more

508
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 1: inclined to accept or chase those things, those people, those

509
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: opportunities because I was much more afraid of having to

510
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: put in genuine effort and having to be seen for

511
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: who I really was. I remember i'mber the exact day,

512
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 1: but I remember the feeling of when I went into

513
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 1: therapy and actually got there where my brain understood it.

514
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: And for me, because I had had that space of

515
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: confrontation where I was confronting myself and I said it

516
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: and somebody was witnessed to that, it came very difficult

517
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: for me to forget that. It became very difficult for

518
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: me to leave that out of my decision making. And

519
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: once I have that space, it's very hard to forget

520
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,719
Speaker 1: the lessons that I learned in there when I'm out

521
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: in the world living my life. Yeah, and you know

522
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: the benefit of having a therapist that you've had for

523
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: a decade. It's not a lot of hiding you're gonna

524
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: be able to do because she knows so much, Oh child,

525
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: the way she just sometimes I'll say something and she's

526
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: just like, you know what, I'm gonna tell you what.

527
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm just gonna keep it real with you.

528
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: You might just need to accept this to the next thing,

529
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 1: or you just might need to let this go, or

530
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: do you really think that this is the best way.

531
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: She's she's great, She's been really really great. Yeah, it's

532
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: something I will not miss. I was visiting a front

533
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: of the hospital when I tell you, I was in

534
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: the hallway, sitting on the floor. It's just taking that

535
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: call in the hallway because I had to. It's probably

536
00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: one of the most crucial pieces of self care that

537
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: I have in my life. And I can't think therapy

538
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: enough for everything that it's given me. Thank you, Thank

539
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: you for sharing that. Brittany. It sounds like you'll have

540
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: an amazing relationship, which I'm sure at least to y'all

541
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: being able to do just great work together. So the

542
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: other thing that I think has just been really incredible,

543
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 1: especially for me as a fellow podcaster, I'm so thankful

544
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 1: for you and Eric. Y'all have been so open about

545
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: like your entire journey through podcasting right like ups and

546
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: the downs, and I think it really just sat a

547
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: powerful example for how to like advocate for yourself and

548
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 1: your creation the things that you have put into the world.

549
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: What kind of message do you have for other creatives

550
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: about like how to advocate for themselves. For me, something

551
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: I struggle with this actually still is advocating for myself.

552
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that you said that, and I've come a

553
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 1: long way. I should give myself so ut and I've

554
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: come home why But it's still an area where there's

555
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: a lot of opportunity for growth for me. But I

556
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: think not being afraid of no, or rather learning to

557
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: live with no or not right now, and also understanding

558
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: that there's no one person that holds your destiny. I

559
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: think those are really important things to remember when you're

560
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: advocating for yourself. Yeah, Because I mean, you know, no,

561
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 1: one's not the worst thing in the world. Right. It

562
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 1: may seem hard at the moment, but it is not

563
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: the end of the world to Yeah, I'm so appreciative

564
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: of you sharing so much with those Brittany, such a

565
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: great conversation, so many gyms that you have dropped. Where

566
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: can we find more of your work and support you.

567
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: What is your website and social media handles that you'd

568
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: like to share? Oh? Yeah, if you wanna follow me,

569
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: I am at B m Loose. That's b is in Brittany,

570
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: Amazon Murray, my medal name, last name l U s

571
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: e at B m Loose on Twitter and Instagram. I'm

572
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: much more active on Twitter than Instagram. I am on

573
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: TikTok with the same name, but I don't post anything.

574
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: So just if you see me, mind your business, you

575
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: see me commented on something wild, bud your business. And

576
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: then also if you want to listen for Colored Nerds,

577
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: which you absolutely should, you can find us at four

578
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: Colored Nerds dot fm and you can also follow us

579
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram at for Colored Nerds. We have

580
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: a lot of fun on the show, and yeah, it's

581
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 1: a really good time. I mean, honestly, I'm gonna venture

582
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: and say that if you like therapy for black girls,

583
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna like for I feel like this

584
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: is one of those commercials with the fragrances, right if

585
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: you love love exactly. We have a new episode every

586
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: single Tuesday, and you can listen to our show wherever

587
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: podcasts are found. But yeah, for Colored Nerds it is

588
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: one of my favorite podcasts. So I definitely think if

589
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: you love the conversations we have here, you will also

590
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: really enjoy for Color Nerves, So definitely check it out.

591
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Dr Troy, Thank you. I'm so

592
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: glad Brittany was able to share her expertise with us

593
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: today to learn more about her and to check out

594
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: her podcast for colored nerds, Visit the show notes at

595
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session to forty six,

596
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: and be sure to text two of your girls this

597
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: episode right now. If you're looking for a therapist in

598
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory

599
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com SLA directory. And

600
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: if you want to continue digging into this topic or

601
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 1: just be in community with other sisters, come on over

602
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy

603
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: corner of the Internet designed just for black women. You

604
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: can join us at community dot Therapy for Black Girls

605
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: dot com. This episode was produced by Freda Lucas and

606
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: Alice Ellis and editing was done by Dennis and Bradford.

607
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for joining me again this week.

608
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you

609
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: all real soon. Take good care.