WEBVTT - I Don't Want Her In Our Family - 7.21.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time now for my Strawberry Letter for today,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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<v Speaker 1>and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM

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<v Speaker 1>and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 2>We could be reading your.

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<v Speaker 1>Letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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<v Speaker 1>read this one right here, right now, and you never

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<v Speaker 1>know it could I say.

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<v Speaker 2>It could be yours. It could be yours.

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<v Speaker 3>Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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<v Speaker 3>you here.

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<v Speaker 2>It is Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 1>Nephew, Thank you. Subject. I don't want her in the family.

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<v Speaker 1>Dear Stephen Shirley. I was a coach at my son's

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<v Speaker 1>high school before I retired. My son went to college

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<v Speaker 1>and had a girlfriend that my wife and I loved.

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<v Speaker 1>They dated for three years and he wanted to propose

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<v Speaker 1>right after college, but my wife encouraged him to sow

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<v Speaker 1>his oats a bit before settling down.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a romantic, so.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, if he was truly in love, why wait,

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<v Speaker 1>and why risk losing her? Well, he lost her because

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<v Speaker 1>she wanted to get married young. My son was hurt

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<v Speaker 1>and I hated to see him like that. He immediately

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<v Speaker 1>started hanging out with women that were the direct opposite

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<v Speaker 1>of his ex girlfriend. I could barely hold a conversation

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<v Speaker 1>with some of the young women, and I couldn't believe

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<v Speaker 1>the outfits they wore on dates with our son. So

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<v Speaker 1>fast forward to last month when he announced that he's

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<v Speaker 1>been dating someone for about six months and he thinks

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<v Speaker 1>she's the one. He said, she's someone from his past

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<v Speaker 1>and they reconnected online and have fallen in love. He

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<v Speaker 1>showed my wife and I a picture of her, and

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<v Speaker 1>my jaw dropped. My wife thought she was very attractive

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<v Speaker 1>with a great figure. In my mind, all I remember

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<v Speaker 1>is her terrible reputation and all the fights she got in.

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<v Speaker 1>I recall her getting arrested when she brought a gun

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<v Speaker 1>to school. I know people can change, but their body

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<v Speaker 1>counts don't. I could never tell my wife about her

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<v Speaker 1>because it would be a bigger issue. I can't tell

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<v Speaker 1>my son what to do with his future. But this

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<v Speaker 1>isn't who I want to bear my grandkids. She already

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<v Speaker 1>has two sons that her mom is raising. Do I

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<v Speaker 1>stay out of it or talk to my son? Ooh,

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<v Speaker 1>what a dilemma, because you want to help, but you've

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<v Speaker 1>got to talk to your son. You have to, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>he's going to want when he wants, regardless, but at

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<v Speaker 1>least if things go badly, you can say to yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>don't say this to him, but you can say to

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<v Speaker 1>yourself that you tried to stop him from making this

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<v Speaker 1>big mistake. And just because the first girl got away

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean that's true in every situation. You can talk

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<v Speaker 1>to your wife about what you're thinking too. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>your wife has her own mind and her own thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>about these situations. Then you guys can talk to your

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<v Speaker 1>son together. Marriage is too hard, marriage is too big

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<v Speaker 1>of a step in life just to sit by and

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<v Speaker 1>say nothing. The one thing I will say is don't

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<v Speaker 1>talk badly about this girl to your son. That will

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<v Speaker 1>only put him in protective mode and want to be

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<v Speaker 1>with her more. And yes, you are right, people can change,

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<v Speaker 1>and maybe she did change.

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<v Speaker 2>But one way to find out is I tell you what.

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<v Speaker 2>Invite her over to.

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<v Speaker 1>Dinner, to some family gatherings, some reunions and such. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>invite her to church so you guys can see how

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<v Speaker 1>she moves. And she should definitely bring her two sons

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<v Speaker 1>so you can see what's up with them. And you

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<v Speaker 1>want your son to see everything. You want your son

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<v Speaker 1>to see everything on full display so he can make

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<v Speaker 1>an informed decision as much as he can. And after

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<v Speaker 1>you do all of this, if your son still wants

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<v Speaker 1>to marry her, then Dad, you got to step away

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<v Speaker 1>from this. You got to back off. He'll have to

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<v Speaker 1>learn through life experiences. Tommy, it's a tough thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it is.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a parent. I got three kids. You know you

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<v Speaker 3>always want them to make the right decisions. He had

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<v Speaker 3>a good girlfriend, and your wife talked him out of

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<v Speaker 3>that one basically right and told him he should go

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<v Speaker 3>throw his oats and think about it. Has she not

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<v Speaker 3>pushed him away from that? He might have been with

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<v Speaker 3>this girl that was really good for him, But you,

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<v Speaker 3>y'all help make that decision. Now. Y'all ready to make

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<v Speaker 3>some old decisions. So y'all all in it. Whether you

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<v Speaker 3>think you're not, let you think you from the distance

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<v Speaker 3>doing it. Now you are in it. You are in

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<v Speaker 3>his business and you're trying to help him make his decision. Now.

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<v Speaker 3>Now he got somebody two babies gunpacking back in the day,

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<v Speaker 3>and now we got to make sure this don't What

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<v Speaker 3>are we making sure? We want to make sure this

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't work out? Or do we want to make sure,

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<v Speaker 3>she's a change person. But me as a father, what

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<v Speaker 3>I would do is pull my son to the side

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<v Speaker 3>and say, Okay, I know this girl all right, I've

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<v Speaker 3>seen him before, I know her. Let me tell you

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<v Speaker 3>what kind of person she was back then. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>know if she's the same person now, So don't put

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<v Speaker 3>any judgment on it, but at least put it in

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<v Speaker 3>this space so he'll at least know. All right, you

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<v Speaker 3>got to make your own decision, and you got to

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<v Speaker 3>be happy. But I think you need to Uh. Six

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<v Speaker 3>months is not a long time to be turning around

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<v Speaker 3>saying Okay, we should be getting married now. I think

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<v Speaker 3>y'all need to go. You need to encourage your son

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<v Speaker 3>to go. Well, how about dating her another year and

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<v Speaker 3>a half. How about making it two years before you

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<v Speaker 3>decide that you want to marry this girl. To me,

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<v Speaker 3>if this is my boy, I want you to be

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<v Speaker 3>with him, I would like to see you do this

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<v Speaker 3>for two years and then you will decide if that's

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<v Speaker 3>the right one for you or not. Then you're gonna

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<v Speaker 3>decide if them two boys is somebody that you want

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<v Speaker 3>to raise, because you're gonna be in they life, So

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<v Speaker 3>you got to you gotta have to step up already,

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<v Speaker 3>your father, and let's make sure she ain't. She still

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<v Speaker 3>ain't packing this gun, you know, let's make let's get

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<v Speaker 3>a look, let's figure out that this gun is still around.

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<v Speaker 3>She's still that kind of girl. You know, she ain't

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<v Speaker 3>in school no more. If she take it as a

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<v Speaker 3>gun in the car to take it to work out

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<v Speaker 3>what we did with it, you don't know what she's anywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's my take on it. I think you should

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<v Speaker 3>really pull your son to the side, have a man

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<v Speaker 3>the man conversation with him and try to point him

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<v Speaker 3>in the right direction. But the most important thing is

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<v Speaker 3>you're letting your son know I am not telling you

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<v Speaker 3>what to do. This is you a grown man. This

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<v Speaker 3>is going to be at the end of the day.

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<v Speaker 3>This is going to be your decision. But I'm your

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<v Speaker 3>daddy and I'm not your I'm not your daddy if

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<v Speaker 3>I don't stand here and at least give you some advice,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, throughout the sun and say hey, let's let's

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<v Speaker 3>let's do this a little bit longer. Six months, so

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<v Speaker 3>how about this. Let's be engaged with another year and

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<v Speaker 3>a half and then maybe you'll be able to decide

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<v Speaker 3>if this is the woman for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yep, I agree. You got to talk to your son.

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<v Speaker 2>All right.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll have part two of our response to the Strawberry

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<v Speaker 1>letter coming up at twenty three minutes after today. Strawberry

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<v Speaker 1>letter subject is I don't want her in our family.

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<v Speaker 1>We will hear from Junior right after this.

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<v Speaker 3>She still got that gun.

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<v Speaker 4>You're listening Hardy Morning Show an educase and is a

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<v Speaker 4>transformation every day. The third Good Marshall College Fund transforms

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<v Speaker 2>All right, we're going to recap Today's Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 1>The subject is I don't want to In the family,

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<v Speaker 1>A father wrote in he was a coach at his

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<v Speaker 1>son's high school and his son went to college. He

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<v Speaker 1>had a girlfriend in college. He and his wife loved

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<v Speaker 1>this girl. They thought she was the right girl for

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<v Speaker 1>their son, and the girl wanted to get married right away,

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<v Speaker 1>but the wife was a little hesitant. The boy's mother

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<v Speaker 1>was a bit hesitant because she wanted her son, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>to get all his wildness out, you know, and so's

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<v Speaker 1>oats and all that before he married this young lady. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>the young lady didn't want to wait. She wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>get married young, so she went ahead and broke off

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<v Speaker 1>that relationship. The son was heartbroken about it, really really heartbroken.

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<v Speaker 1>The dad hated to see his son like that, So

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<v Speaker 1>the son immediately started hanging out with women that were

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<v Speaker 1>the direct opposite of his ex girl. And then recently

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<v Speaker 1>he came in and told his dad that he met

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<v Speaker 1>someone and he thinks she is the one after only

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<v Speaker 1>dating her for six months. Now, the dad happened to

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<v Speaker 1>know this girl. He knew that the girl got arrested

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<v Speaker 1>for bringing gun to school. He knew about body count

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how he knew all of this, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>just by being the coach, but he knew a lot

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<v Speaker 1>about this young lady that his son is thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>getting engaged to and marrying, thinking she's the one.

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<v Speaker 5>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>The wife said, simply said, she's attractive with a great figure.

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<v Speaker 1>So the dad thinks she has a terrible reputation. And

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<v Speaker 1>what he's asking is should he stay out of it?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and by the way, the girl has two sons

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<v Speaker 1>of her own as well coming into the marriage. So

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<v Speaker 1>the dad wants to know should he stay out of

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<v Speaker 1>it or should he talk to his son junior.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's just go ahead and just put this out here.

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<v Speaker 5>Let's go ahead and just see we have lost him.

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<v Speaker 2>He's not coming back. The sun is gone. Me and

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<v Speaker 2>Timey don't have the power to change this man's mind.

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<v Speaker 5>Daddy, you don't either, because what she doing to your

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<v Speaker 5>son is what we've always seen ric opposite.

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<v Speaker 2>I know the girl he was.

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<v Speaker 5>With with such an angel? What did he dating the devil?

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<v Speaker 3>Now?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, this six is something different.

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<v Speaker 5>Now it's oh it's crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh that rum he experienced.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and she got a nice figure too.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, she got way more experienced because she got two sons. Well,

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<v Speaker 5>meet your new grandchildren and put your valuables up because

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<v Speaker 5>they're coming. Mama, carry gun. I know these kids robbing.

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<v Speaker 5>There may be six or seven, but Man Man and

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<v Speaker 5>jos John coming. You better put your stuff up. They're

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<v Speaker 5>talking about the mama raising the kids. Y'all fingna raise

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<v Speaker 5>these kids too. You better you better not go to

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<v Speaker 5>sleep before they do.

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<v Speaker 2>What did you say their names were? You Man, Man

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<v Speaker 2>and Jojahn. They coming. You better get your whole package.

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<v Speaker 3>You can.

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<v Speaker 2>You can forget that knock wanning her in the family.

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<v Speaker 2>She in uh huh oh.

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<v Speaker 5>Y'all got to stay with family home too, and then

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<v Speaker 5>she find a daddy for these kids. All she gotta do.

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<v Speaker 2>Is just keep doing what she doing. This boyfriend, marry Hunt.

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<v Speaker 2>You talk about six months. What did you see that ring?

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<v Speaker 2>Next week?

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<v Speaker 5>That's coming gonna be nice next week?

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<v Speaker 2>You don't think that's just soon?

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<v Speaker 5>No, no, no, no, no, I think it's too so

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<v Speaker 5>we just can't do nothing about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Man, he's under a spell right now.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, that girl fined to Imma said, you know what's

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<v Speaker 5>you know? She finally when Mama says she got a

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<v Speaker 5>nice figure and she's beautiful.

0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:06.600
<v Speaker 2>And what we love crazy.

0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:11.319
<v Speaker 5>We took that gun and hit him across the head,

0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:12.360
<v Speaker 5>but he said, ooh, that's love.

0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:17.720
<v Speaker 2>He abused me. O got a knot on his forehead.

0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.320
<v Speaker 5>Every time you see his something on his lip, bust.

0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:20.760
<v Speaker 5>He got a bad across his nose.

0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.880
<v Speaker 2>He always getting me and he loved it. Y'all talking

0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:25.680
<v Speaker 2>about what we're gonna do.

0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.520
<v Speaker 5>You're gonna let it in the family. You're not fixing this.

0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:31.000
<v Speaker 2>This boy is gone.

0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.280
<v Speaker 5>He had the good thing, but y'all told him he

0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.080
<v Speaker 5>gonna sew his old Now he's sawing the oaths.

0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.080
<v Speaker 2>Now, y'all mad, he is gone. Making up your mind.

0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.599
<v Speaker 2>He's not coming back now. He been, he been handcuffed,

0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:44.160
<v Speaker 2>he's been emptying.

0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.720
<v Speaker 5>He's been. He been. He been arrested by her so

0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:52.000
<v Speaker 5>many times he kneed handcuff. He just he just in

0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.199
<v Speaker 5>the room, just handcuffed, Shut up, lay out.

0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.200
<v Speaker 2>He just out there just. I mean, he just been abuse.

0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:03.120
<v Speaker 5>He had everything happened to him.

0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:07.200
<v Speaker 2>He been hell in the closet. He liked that.

0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:08.160
<v Speaker 5>Have y'all seen Darren.

0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.360
<v Speaker 2>We ain't seen there in three weeks. He been in

0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.439
<v Speaker 2>the clock. I hold him captive.

0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:15.960
<v Speaker 5>What you mean she ain't come in the family.

0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:19.880
<v Speaker 2>What you can do. It's going there, you know you

0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:20.080
<v Speaker 2>know what.

0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:21.640
<v Speaker 5>She go to work and guess who's watching them?

0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:23.040
<v Speaker 2>Man, Man and Judge Ellen.

0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 5>Something to eat and we eat.

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.160
<v Speaker 2>It's over what we can do for him.

0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:32.800
<v Speaker 5>This girl is fine too.

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 2>She know a sucking when she got one. Chief, How

0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.360
<v Speaker 2>do I know that, Charlie? I was one.

0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh wait, this is personal for you.

0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:47.160
<v Speaker 2>The closet, my good girl. I found one I couldn't hand.

0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 5>I said, Oh, I knew when I was standing there,

0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.079
<v Speaker 5>she was kissing me and she pulled her.

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Lifts back and she slapped me, and I liked it.

0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 2>I know her.

0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.280
<v Speaker 2>Har why you guys love crazy?

0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:03.440
<v Speaker 5>And I'm gonna tell you. And I gave him my

0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 5>checks and everything. Every time I did, I brought it

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:06.680
<v Speaker 5>all the way back to everything.

0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:09.559
<v Speaker 2>Wait, you gave her your checks, Junior. I didn't know.

0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I was young.

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:10.839
<v Speaker 4>Sure, you know.

0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:11.719
<v Speaker 2>I want to tell you.

0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:15.320
<v Speaker 5>I thought money would keep it. She didn't in Spinish.

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.880
<v Speaker 2>Hey y'all, I remember this. Yeah he knows.

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:19.880
<v Speaker 5>I remember.

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, you fine?

0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:23.080
<v Speaker 5>Crazy to You.

0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 2>Couldn't tell Junior nothing time to tell me?

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:26.360
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 2>Why open?

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.880
<v Speaker 3>Wow? I'm doing everything.

0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.800
<v Speaker 1>Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM.

0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm insurrem and Facebook and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast.

0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Throwing Your Life Heart Radio app free never sounded so good.

0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Downloaded today coming up in forty six minutes after the hour.

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I think Junior has recovered since then. He'll have sports

0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:50.520
<v Speaker 1>talk coming up right after this.

0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:54.520
<v Speaker 2>You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.