1 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the minisode. 2 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 2: Read you your stories. You should go first, Okay, I will. 3 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: Okay, great this one. 4 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 2: I'm not going to tell you the subject line. But 5 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 2: it's serious. Okay, but it's good. Okay, Hey girl. Hey 6 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 2: starts Chicago, twenty sixteen. I had just left an abusive relationship, 7 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 2: moved into a new apartment, and I had no idea 8 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 2: this was one of the most crime ridden neighborhoods of Chicago. 9 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 2: I was in nursing school, exhausted, just trying to survive. 10 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 2: After class downtown, I made the incredibly smart decision to 11 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 2: buy a giant, heavy over the toilet storage unit from 12 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 2: Target and carry onto the packed rush hour train for 13 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 2: an hour long commute back home. Yeahdiot, that just sucks. 14 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: Like I need this really bad. I have no storage 15 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: in this apartment. There's nowhere near me that sells this. 16 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: No one's gonna do it for me. 17 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 2: I'm not a car I'm in Chicago. 18 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: Just got to get it done. 19 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,639 Speaker 2: We hear you, Yea. The entire time people kept asking 20 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 2: me if I needed help. I had my headphones in 21 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 2: listening to MFM, and I was like, nope, I got it. 22 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: Leave me alone. Finally I get off at my stop. 23 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 2: Train's mostly empty. Now I'm hauling this massive box down 24 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 2: the stairs when a guy like the hundredth guy asks 25 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,479 Speaker 2: if I need help. I say no, I live right 26 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 2: here and gesture toward my apartment building and he goes, oh, 27 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 2: I live there too. Cool. Great. Fine. He comes back 28 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,040 Speaker 2: and says, my mom would kill me if I didn't 29 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 2: help you, and just takes the box. I'm exhausted. He 30 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: seems charming enough, and honestly I wanted to help, so 31 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 2: I let him. We get into the courtyard. He points 32 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 2: to his entrance on the left, asks which one is mine. 33 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: I point to the door on the right, across the 34 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 2: courtyard from his. We walk over. For context, Chicago buildings 35 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: have that double door set up outside door, then small 36 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: vestibule than an inside door to keep the cold out. 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 2: I'm unlocking the first door when suddenly he shoves me 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 2: inside door, slams my keys with my pepper spray and 39 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 2: my stabby thing are still in the lock outside. He 40 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 2: pins me against the wall and puts a gun under 41 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 2: my chin. Oh no, give me all your cash, and 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 2: here's where I'd like to thank you both, because instead 43 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 2: of panicking I just started laughing. No, not in a 44 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: this is funny way, but in it. I know better 45 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: than to fight this way. I told him, I'm a 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: broke nursing student. I literally have nothing. I opened my 47 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 2: fanny pack, empty wallet, train card, debit card ID, that's it. 48 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: He takes my train card, rip to one hundred dollars 49 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 2: I just loaded onto it, rips off my necklace forever 50 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 2: twenty one, but he didn't need to know that, and 51 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 2: then tells me to take off my ring, my grandma's 52 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 2: pearl ring that hadn't come off my finger in five years. 53 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 2: I'm struggling to get it off, and he puts the 54 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 2: gun against my hand and says, if you don't take 55 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 2: it off, I'll get it off, like he was going 56 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:11,119 Speaker 2: to all caps shoot my hand and take my finger. So, yeah, 57 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 2: I got the ring off, skin, dignity, everything included. He leaves. 58 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 2: I collapse on the floor, crying, shaking fully in shock, 59 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 2: and then I hear laughter, soft at first, then clear, 60 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 2: and I genuinely thought, okay, cool, I've lost my mind. 61 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 2: But no, it was you two. Oh god, she's still 62 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 2: playing in my headphones. No, just chatting, laughing about something, 63 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 2: completely unaware that you were actively in my ear during 64 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: one of the scariest moments of my life, and weirdly 65 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 2: it grounded me because I did exactly what you always say. 66 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 2: I stayed calm, I didn't escalate, and I stayed sexy 67 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 2: and didn't get murdered. Also, for the record, I got 68 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 2: mugged three more times in the next four months at 69 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: that apartment, so four muggings total. So I broke my 70 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 2: lease and got the hell out of it. Jesus. I 71 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 2: don't live in Chicago anymore, but I still love that 72 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 2: city in a deeply unwell, possibly Stockholm syndrome way. And 73 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 2: now I'm about to graduate as a forensic nurse wow, 74 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: with plans to become a pediatric saying sexual assault, to 75 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 2: collect evidence examiner, and eventually work with a DA's office 76 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 2: to help push legislation to classify violence against women as 77 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 2: a hate crime. 78 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: Nice, amazing, so good. 79 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 2: So truly thank you for the laughs, the awareness, and 80 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 2: for literally being in my ear when I needed you 81 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: most stay sexy and listen to your gut. And also 82 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 2: to Karen and Georgia. 83 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: Love Hannah, God, Hanna, I'm sorry that happened to you. 84 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 2: That's like one of the most intense ones we've ever gotten. 85 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 2: I know, well we've gotten I mean, yeah, but like firsthand. 86 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, you're right. But also I think that 87 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: thing of like, it's not Stockholm syndrome. Chicago is an 88 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: amazing city and there's many many things happening there. It's 89 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: like that's that. 90 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 2: Could happen literally anywhere. 91 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: But I am and does and does and wow. 92 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: But staying calm in that moment, like what what a 93 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 2: heroic thing to do? 94 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: Right? 95 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: Not everyone would do that. 96 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: It's a tough thing. I also was so afraid you 97 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: were going to say when the laughter came through that 98 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: it was like a prank. Oh or in just like 99 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: good lord, Okay, this one got pulled because it's new, 100 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: like we just got it in the last couple of days. 101 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: But it's relevant. The subject line is my brush with FLDS, 102 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: and so it says, hello, Karen and Georgia, your talk 103 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: with trust me made me remember my brush with the FLDS, which, 104 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: if you don't know, is the fundamentalist arm of the LDS, 105 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: the Church of the Latter the Church of the Latter 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: day Saints we call them Mormonists, but the Fundamentalist group 107 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: is an offshoot I was working as a park ranger 108 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: in Grand Canyon, and once a year the FLDS would 109 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: come from Colorado City with a bunch of their youth 110 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: and do a giant rim to rim hike. This is 111 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: where you doesn't say hike, but we're assuming. Yeah, this 112 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: is where you walk from one side of the canyon 113 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,719 Speaker 1: to the other. It's about twenty four miles and extremely grueling. 114 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: Have you ever done anything at the Grand Canyon? 115 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 2: We went camping when I was a kid there. My 116 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 2: brother went down. I was like a fucking eleven year 117 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 2: old and like didn't come back till the middle of 118 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 2: the night. 119 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: Oh no. 120 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,160 Speaker 2: I wrote about it in the book, was say out 121 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 2: of the forest. That's the way I read it. 122 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: Was he by himself? Yeah, as sure. 123 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 2: It was such a fucking I was. I'm sure he 124 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 2: was dead. 125 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 1: He was so punk rock, even in the Grand Canyon. Okay. 126 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: As they did the trip, they would break countless park rules. 127 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: First rule, you have to be holding a permit if 128 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: you're going to do a hike. Over twelve people in 129 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: the canyon. This group knew this. They would break into 130 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: smaller groups of about six to seven kids, with one 131 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: fourteen year old at the helm, and then a bunch 132 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: of children, probably between the ages from eight to fourteen. 133 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: The young teens would always say that they were eighteen, 134 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: knowing very well that they should have an adult with 135 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: them they were not eighteen. They would also claim that 136 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: they weren't with other groups that were walking through the 137 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: can at the exact same time, just five or ten 138 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: minutes ahead. This is a pretty bad lie because they 139 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: all dress very similarly. The girls would be in standard 140 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: FLDS dresses, boys would be in jeans and slacks and 141 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: a button up shirt, not hiking attire. The adults would 142 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: be on horses, which are not allowed at the bottom 143 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: of the canyon as they were typically very aggressive and 144 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: would startle the mules that bring necessary food and supplies 145 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: down to the rangers in the canyon. There's usually only 146 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:30,679 Speaker 1: two adults for fifty kids. My favorite part is every 147 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: time they would do this, there would always be a 148 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: ranger up top at the rim just waiting to write 149 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: the entire group some fines. This really didn't stop the group, 150 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: as they tend to do this every single year. I'm 151 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: not gonna lie though. I always thought the young girls 152 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: who were doing the hike were pretty badass. They would 153 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: be in really heavy dresses, covered neck to toe, and 154 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: they would do an entire rim to rim. This is 155 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: a hike. I would constantly see fully grown, fit adult 156 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: males cry on and beg to be helicoptered out. 157 00:07:58,800 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: Holy shit. 158 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: I would regularly tell the girls they're really strong for 159 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: doing this. I secretly wish they had the same strength 160 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: to live the life they want when they're older, whatever 161 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: that may be. One more story I want to tell 162 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: you is completely unrelated, but my coworker was raised in 163 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: the Mooney's cult. He doesn't talk about this and just 164 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: says he was raised in a Christian group that would 165 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: be considered a cult by some. I immediately said, like, 166 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: what the Moonies, and his face turned pale white. He 167 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: asked me how the heck I knew about them? Apparently, 168 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: knowing about the Moonies is not common knowledge, untrue, and 169 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: that was the first person he'd ever encountered who outwrite 170 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:39,679 Speaker 1: guests day. 171 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 2: I think it's murderinos who know about that? 172 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: Thanks Karen and Georgia. Yes, but you know what it is. 173 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: I think it's gen X and above and older because 174 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: the Moonies were like on the seven o'clock news. 175 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 2: When I was growing it's all about them. 176 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, sure they were. I think they were always being 177 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: kind of seated as like there's this problem cult like 178 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 1: waiting with what they're doing now. And then it says, 179 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,959 Speaker 1: you guys are the best, thanks for all you do, 180 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: but you know that already. Much love kkkk a kk ok. 181 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: That's a very interesting perspective of like and this was 182 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: just basically thrown in because Trust Me the False Prophet 183 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: is now streaming on Netflix, which our Lola from Trust 184 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,439 Speaker 1: Me the podcast here on earm. Her mother is one 185 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: of the subjects of that documentary and apparently it's incredible 186 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: watched it. 187 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 2: This is called Panic with Purpose, Divine Intervention story. Hi. 188 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: I've been along for the ride since the beginning, and 189 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you celebrating ten years. It's amazing 190 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 2: what you have used your voices for. Your authenticity has 191 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,079 Speaker 2: truly started an evolution for good within the podcasting world 192 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: through storytelling and advocacy. That's nice. I hope you're proud 193 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 2: of yourselves for what you've created. They meant that in 194 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 2: a nice way. I hope you're proud of yourself. 195 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: I hope you're proud of yourself. 196 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 2: Back in twenty ten, I was living in a shitty 197 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: house in a rowdy college neighborhood. Almost every night of 198 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,679 Speaker 2: the week, one of the houses on our cul de 199 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 2: sac was throwing a rager with kegs, beer pong, DJs, 200 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 2: fog machine like any classy shin dig. I've never been 201 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: to a frat party, have you? Oh? 202 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah? 203 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 2: Have I never been to a frat Well, I guess 204 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 2: that makes sense. I mean I can go to college. 205 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: I think if my sister and I weren't like friends 206 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: the way that we were, and I also had a 207 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: bunch of cousins that we all went to SOAC State together. Okay, 208 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: so it was like we went to I remember going 209 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: to a gigantic frat party in Davis and my cousin 210 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: Johnny was there. I went with my sister. There were 211 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: cousins in town, like it was a whole thing. So 212 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: it wasn't like me and my friend walking into a 213 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: frat party. 214 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 2: Okay, I've never been my We all went to community college, 215 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 2: so like my siblings, and I. 216 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: Don't think normally I would have gone because I was 217 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 1: a bit more on the gothy side and it's not 218 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: like they want to be there, but right're all like 219 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: hey party. 220 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 2: All right, yeah, amazing, So someone invite me to their keegar? Please? 221 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 2: On our hosted party night, we would take hours prepping 222 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 2: the house, removing valuables, pushing furniture against the walls, and 223 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: preparing for the nightly rage. We proudly lined the top 224 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: of our cabinets with our empty Burnett bottles, got the 225 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 2: shittiest beer kegs, and stalk the fridge with original recipe 226 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 2: for locos. Remember those. The following day was always a 227 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 2: bad hangover while cleaning gene marks from the walls, vomit 228 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 2: and sticky substances from all surfaces. 229 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: Why so disgusting? 230 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 2: I tell you these details because it reflects our poor 231 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 2: judgment and priorities. 232 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: That's right. 233 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: On a night off from hosting, I went out to 234 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 2: bars and had a bad fight with my boyfriend. Instead 235 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 2: of sleeping at his house, like most nights, I opted 236 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 2: to stay at my own house and mope since all 237 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 2: my roommates were gone. In the middle of the night, 238 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 2: I was awoken to the shrill of fire alarms opening 239 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 2: my bedroom door. I was immediately engulfed in black smoke. 240 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,079 Speaker 2: I couldn't see an inch in front of my face. 241 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 2: I made my way through the smoke to the living room, 242 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 2: where my roommate's friend was passed out on the couch 243 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 2: and completely unresponsive to my yelling. I ran to the 244 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 2: kitchen and my roommate was sitting on our futon, yes 245 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: very classy kitchen futon, and appeared to be hunched over texting. 246 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 2: I was screaming his name as I saw our stove 247 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 2: engulfed in flames right next to him. He had completely 248 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 2: passed out while texting and making his post bar noodles 249 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 2: in my underwear and brawliss state. I panicked with purpose. 250 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: I found the fire extinguisher and remembered pass pass, pull, aim, squeeze, sweep, 251 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 2: and put out the flames. I then ran around the 252 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: house and opened every window and door to air out 253 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 2: the smoke. I was eventually able to shake him awake, 254 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 2: and the first thing he said to me was was 255 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 2: not thanks for saving my life, but what very annoyed 256 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 2: then asked where his noodles were. His friend was also 257 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: okay and not dead. If I were not there that night, 258 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 2: I don't know what would have happened because they weren't 259 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 2: responding to a fucking fire alarm. 260 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: Yeah they were passed out. 261 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have lit the whole goddamn place down. 262 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:57,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. 263 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 2: Not surprisingly, we did not get our deposit back when 264 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: we moved out due to quote burn marks and smoke damage. 265 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 2: But I am grateful for whatever divine intervention helped me 266 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 2: be there that night. I also can't believe how quickly 267 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: my fight or flight kicked in post sleep, and I'm 268 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 2: proud I was able to panic with purpose. Sorry for 269 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: the lengthy story, but sharing these stories makes me amazed 270 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 2: I survived those years. Now I can barely stay awake 271 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 2: past nine pm, and I'm raising three smart, kind kids. 272 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 2: I'm sure they'll make many mistakes like I did, but 273 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 2: I try my best to remind them to be humble 274 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 2: and kind. In this world. We need that more than ever. 275 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 2: I am a traveling speech therapist and you're with me 276 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 2: daily as I visit patients in their homes. Thank you 277 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 2: for all your love and humor. It keeps us all going. 278 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:46,479 Speaker 2: Love Carrie pronounce kr e Carrie? 279 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 1: How do you pronounce this crazy name? I love that 280 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: she was like, I wonder what would have happen? Is 281 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: like the house to burn? 282 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: You save their lives? 283 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, you did it, full credit. It doesn't sound like 284 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: you panic at all. It amoked like you woke up 285 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: and handled shit. 286 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 2: Totally. 287 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: Congratulations. Okay, this is a trash parents story and it 288 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: starts high All. I was introduced to your podcast during 289 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 1: a job interview in twenty seventeen. Well spread the word right. 290 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: It says didn't get the job, but found you two 291 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: win For me, that job would have been awful. You've 292 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: asked for pretty much any story at this point, so 293 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: I felt I needed to write in. I am one 294 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: of eight children, and yes, my parents believed in birth 295 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: control but wanted a big family. My dad was a 296 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: pastor and we spent a lot of time at church. 297 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 1: One Wednesday evening after service, the adults were chatting about 298 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 1: God or something, and all the kids decided to play 299 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 1: hide and seek. Being the competitive middle child that I am, 300 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: I was determined to win. I squeezed my tiny five 301 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 1: year old body into a thick set of bushes, No 302 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: not bushes that line the church. I did this once too, 303 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: in a big backyard. We've played a hide and seek 304 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: at night a bunch of adults, most of them were drunk, 305 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: it was not and I wedged myself kind of under 306 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: a hedge and no one found me. I won like 307 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: hands down. But everyone got really mad because they were like, 308 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: will you where I'm like, I wasn't the whole idea. 309 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: It was like I was supposed to just be slightly 310 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 1: behind a tree or something. It's really funny, so it says. 311 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: I sat patiently as others were found, smirking at my 312 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 1: brilliance that no one had spotted me what seemed like ours. 313 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: Probably fifteen minutes, things got quieter, and I started to 314 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: hear doors shutting and. 315 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 2: Cars pulling away. 316 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: Feeling very proud that no one found my spot, I 317 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: emerged from the bushes only to see my family's van 318 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 1: pull out of the parking lot. 319 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: Because there's eight of them, there's too many to count. 320 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, the very last car to leave, I yelled, 321 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: but they didn't see or hear me. I immediately burst 322 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 1: into tears. Holy Now, I know what you're thinking. A church, 323 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: surely someone will come by and see a five year 324 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 1: old crying on the front steps. But reader, you are wrong. 325 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: This church was on a highway in the middle of nowhere. 326 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: I was sure I was going to die or be 327 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: eaten by mountain lion. As luck or God or the 328 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: universe or whatever would have it. One of the other 329 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: pastor's wives forgot something in the church and she and 330 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: her husband turned around to retrieve it. A five year old, 331 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: that's so yeah, a little baby, little baby. They found 332 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 1: me crying on the front step. 333 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 2: Oh my god. They wouldn't have known until like bedtime, 334 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 2: I bet yes, when everyone's in bed and there's an 335 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 2: empty bed and it's like, when was the last time you. 336 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: Saw Oh oh, I know I've told this story, but 337 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: this happened to me in kindergarten. The whole car, watching 338 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: the carpool drive away. As a five year old, you're like, 339 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: they this isn't a mistake. They're choosing to go. 340 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 2: And I'm alone for the rest of the I'm alone forever. 341 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: This sucks. I don't want to eat that weird pizza 342 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: and the cafeteria again. They found me crying on the 343 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: front steps, left a note for my parents on the 344 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 1: front door. This was before pages or cell phones, and 345 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: took me to their house not too far away. Meanwhile, 346 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: my family had a quiet drive back to their homes 347 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: an hour away with a van full of sleepy children. 348 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: When everyone came inside and began the bedtime routine of 349 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 1: pajamas and teeth brushing. My mom realized she was missing 350 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: a kid. Can you imagine I'm a whole way home. 351 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 2: She's so exhausted from having eight kids, and then it's 352 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 2: an hour away. She feels so guilty. 353 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: She played all that hide and seek. She had a 354 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 1: great time herself, finally as a mom. My dad assured 355 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: her that I probably fell asleep in the van and 356 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: he'd go get me. A minute later, he ran in 357 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: face white, grabbed the keys, muttering, we forgot Janis. He 358 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 1: began the hour long journey trying to rescue me. Halfway there, 359 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: a state trooper pulled him over for speeding. When he 360 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,959 Speaker 1: rolled down his window, he said, I know I was speeding. 361 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: I promised to come back and receive a ticket, but 362 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 1: I forgot my five year old daughter at church and 363 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: she's all alone. The trooper looked at him and said, well, 364 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: you'd better hurry when my dad's no police escort like 365 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: the movie. When my dad finally arrived, he saw the 366 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 1: note and found me at the other pastor's house. I 367 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: was surrounded by all their grandkid's toys, and I had 368 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:08,120 Speaker 1: every snack from their pantry nearly see. When he arrived, 369 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 1: I said, Hi, Dad, thanks for coming, but I think 370 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to live here now. Don't worry, I'll visit 371 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: you often. After some coaxing and bribing me with bringing 372 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: all the snacks with us, we headed home. On the 373 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: way home, my dad stopped at where he was pulled 374 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: over by the state trooper originally, but the guy wasn't there. 375 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: Maybe the trooper figured out he'd had enough punishment for 376 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: one night. After that, my parents made it a rule 377 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:35,200 Speaker 1: to count each kid before they left anywhere. Stay sexy, 378 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: and please make sure all your kids are in the 379 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: car before leaving. Janie janius with an E. So Jennie 380 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: kind of sounds the same, maybe janis and then it 381 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: says ps. My oldest kid was at trivia night and 382 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: a question came up about a true crime comedy podcast 383 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: by Karen Colgareff and Georgia Hartstart he scored a point 384 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 1: for his team instantly, thanks for making me cool for 385 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 1: a moment with my kid. 386 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 2: Love that that's like to be the highest, Like like 387 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,920 Speaker 2: that's success. Yes, you're on fucking quiz nights. Yes, that's 388 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 2: so true. And then how many kids do you think 389 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 2: at what point you like lose track of them? Because 390 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 2: you really knew that. 391 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: I really believe it. You can see three three is 392 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 1: really hard, but they're like in front of you. 393 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, this is my last one. Why I was 394 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 2: never allowed to babysit again? Hey all, well you asked 395 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 2: at the age of seventeen, I was watching two boys 396 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 2: ages three and one. That is a baby. 397 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, those are babies' new. 398 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,679 Speaker 2: And you're seventeen during their spring break. I have been 399 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 2: babysitting these kids for about a year, so I felt 400 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 2: pretty comfortable staying with them while their parents were at work. 401 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: Since the weather was nice, their mom had suggested I 402 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 2: take them to the zoo for the day. Again, I'm 403 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 2: seventeen and very unqualified to be in public with children 404 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: this young. The day started off well enough. The boys 405 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 2: were excited and cooperative. 406 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 1: Intel well enough is a tough way to be like. 407 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: The days started off well enough. You're babysitting and like 408 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: you're staying home. Yeah you know, Oh my god, everything 409 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: could go wrong. 410 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 2: It's like the. 411 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,120 Speaker 1: TV snacks and like your own house with a bathroom, 412 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: totally no no reason to go anywhere. 413 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 2: The three year old will call him Kyle. Fucking Kyle 414 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 2: became overcome with illogical emotion kids fucking do that. That's 415 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,199 Speaker 2: another reason adults. When I told him he couldn't have 416 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 2: a second lemon ice pop, he started crying, which turned 417 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 2: into screaming, which turned into me being hauled off to 418 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 2: the zoo jail until his mom could come and verify 419 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,159 Speaker 2: that her children were in my care. Oh you may 420 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 2: be wondering how things went south so quickly. Kyle had 421 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 2: become so inconsolable that he started running away from me, screaming. 422 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: Someone helped me. That's not my mommy. A little shit, Kyle, 423 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 2: A little on repeat. By the time I had caught 424 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 2: him and hooked my arm or his waist, he was 425 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 2: kicking and screaming, drawing the attention of just about everyone, 426 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 2: including zoo security. 427 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: I mean, at least they did something totally totally we 428 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,880 Speaker 1: gotta be we gotta upside it a little bit. 429 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,479 Speaker 2: Security took me, well wait till you hear this. Then 430 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 2: security took me into a separate office and kept the 431 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 2: boys in the lobby where they all caps gave them 432 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 2: a fucking ice pop. So with this little shit it worked. 433 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 2: Kyle Winn, Kyle fucking' is like, this is how I 434 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,120 Speaker 2: get what I want? 435 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: Kyle Win's again he's been to the zoo before. 436 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:32,160 Speaker 2: It's first rodeo. No, no, well, we waited for their mom. 437 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: She showed up about forty five minutes later, took the 438 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 2: boys home and never called me again. Just kidding. I 439 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 2: loved those kids and continued to babysit them until I 440 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,360 Speaker 2: graduated from high school. Their mom thought the above incident 441 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 2: was hilarious and still gives me shit about it years later. 442 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: Nice, that's so cool. 443 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 2: I do love that. Ye SSTGM and don't task a 444 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 2: seventeen year old with watching your kids somewhere other than 445 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,120 Speaker 2: their own home. Yeah, m yeah. 446 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: Because I think kids. I babysat the kid my sister 447 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: like for one time, like she had to get me 448 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: to do it for three hours, and he just immediately 449 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: just start. He knew he couldn't push it with my sister. Yeah, 450 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 1: and with me. He just immediately was like I think 451 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna slip under these bleachers and just go get 452 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: lost over there. Same with my nephew, Mikah. It was 453 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: just like I don't have to listen to you. No, 454 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,680 Speaker 1: He's like, wait a second, I'm seeing all soft spots here, totally. Yeah, 455 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 1: we're equals. 456 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:25,640 Speaker 2: I'm going to have fun. 457 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: We're equals. Bye, Okay, Well this actually perfectly dovetails into 458 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 1: my last story. The subject line says child labor story. 459 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: It says hello Karen, Georgia and fur babies in all caps, 460 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,640 Speaker 1: and then it says Karen, I know it's your favorite. 461 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: And then there's an emoji off someone laughing so hard 462 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 1: until they cry, And here's me just suffering over here. 463 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,640 Speaker 1: I've been listening since early COVID when my boss recommended 464 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: MFM as a coping mechanism for being a nurse during 465 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: that honored I mean incredible. You two have been my 466 00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: emotional support podcast ever since. You recently asked for slightly 467 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,679 Speaker 1: inappropriate childhood job stories and I love. 468 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 2: About we did that. 469 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: I love it, and wow, do I have one for you. 470 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: I was a fairal adhd child with the energy of 471 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: a caffeinated squirrel. My poor parents, Anne and Rod had 472 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 1: no idea what to do with me during the summers, 473 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 1: until one day they had a truly unhinged idea. She 474 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: loves animals. We know the zoo director. Let's just drop 475 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: her off there. 476 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 2: What the fuck? 477 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: You know? Anne and Rod, They're nuts. And that's how 478 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,640 Speaker 1: in peak nineties parenting fashion, I became a child zoo 479 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 1: volunteer with what I can only describe as zerra Osha oversight. 480 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 2: That's not volunteering, that's babysitting. 481 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: That's abandonment in a public place. You pay the ticket 482 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 1: and you're like, see you need it out along three 483 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 1: days a week. My mom would drop me off while 484 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 1: I one. It's a little lisp, but I'll number it. 485 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 1: One cleaned animal enclosures, two fed various creatures. Three consumed 486 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,199 Speaker 1: my body weight in shock tarts, or apparently flirted with 487 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 1: death question mark question mark. Some highlights include one cleaning 488 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,640 Speaker 1: the alligator enclosure while alligators were still in it, with 489 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 1: the guidance if they hiss and get puffy, just hop 490 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: back over the fence. 491 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,719 Speaker 2: That's good life advice. 492 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:23,880 Speaker 1: Anything, get puppy it by two wrangling wallabies and then 493 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: in quotes, here's the advice she got. Watch the feet 494 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: they kick, get behind them and grab the tail. 495 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,640 Speaker 2: What is a I'm thinking of a panda bear? 496 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: For some reason, they're like, I believe wallabies I think 497 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: are like little kangaroos. Am I wrong about that? You're correct? 498 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: I win? And then it says totally normal eight year old. 499 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: And then the last one says, hand feeding lemurs things 500 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 1: called monkey biscuits. Careful the ring tailed one bites, They said, 501 00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: of course he does. I loved every second of it, 502 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: all caps, but my crowning achievement. I got to help 503 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: hand raise a baby tiger. 504 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:06,119 Speaker 2: No. 505 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: One of the zoo's tigers had two cubs. One didn't 506 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: make it. They pulled the other to hand raise her. 507 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: I got to bottle feed her every day I volunteered. 508 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: Oh my god, hey goo oh, go to our instagram 509 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,399 Speaker 1: to see the photo. 510 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: That is a stuffed animal. It's not real. 511 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: Literally looks like a perfectly made stuffed animal. 512 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 2: Look at those. 513 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 1: I named her tigger because I was ten and working 514 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: with what I had. Yeah, I fed her, played with her, 515 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: did enrichment, basically lived my best tiger king but wholesome life. 516 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: She grew up, thrived, and lived to be seventeen years old. 517 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 2: Oh my god, did she recognize her when she'd come 518 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 2: back to the zoo. 519 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: Let's see, we'll find out, okay, and then my career 520 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 1: abruptly ended. One day I came home smelling especially terrible. 521 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 1: My dad asked why I smelled worse than usual, And 522 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: then a parentheses says, rude but fair, and I casually 523 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 1: told him, oh, yeah, a full grown male's Iberian tiger 524 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 1: pete on me through the chainling fence while I was cleaning. 525 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: Jesus y'all. He did not care that there was a fence. 526 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 1: My zoo career ended that day. I pivoted volunteering at 527 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 1: a vet clinic the next summer and stayed there through 528 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 1: high school. I mean, this is an animal person. Yeah, 529 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: this is a This is the one person who can 530 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,439 Speaker 1: say for babies to me in all caps, and I 531 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,879 Speaker 1: accept it fully earned it, right fully earned. And then 532 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 1: it says thank you for being a constant source of comfort, laughter, 533 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 1: and just the right amount of chaos. Stay sexy and 534 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: let your kids make wildly unsaved zoo memories. 535 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 2: Erin Wow Aaron and uh. 536 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: Oh, I think there's a picture of Tigger with Oh. 537 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 2: Let's see ah, that's your friend. 538 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 1: That's so many people's dream come true. 539 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,160 Speaker 2: Dude, mine as a kid. Oh amazing. 540 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: And what if, like I want to know if like 541 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: Aaron ever got that moment or she came back to 542 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: the zoo exactly, That's what I want to know. Haggard, 543 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 1: old college student and that little Tigger was. 544 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 2: Like, oh, I know you my friend, Oh my god, 545 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 2: all right, send us your what you did it for 546 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,439 Speaker 2: a job as a child at My Favorite Murder at 547 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 2: Gmail or whatever else you want to tell us. 548 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 1: That's right, any kind of lawsuity stuff from childhood. We'd 549 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 1: love to hear it. That's right. And until then, stay 550 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 1: sexy and don't get murdered. 551 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,719 Speaker 2: Goodbye, Elvis, do you want to cookie? 552 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,120 Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production. 553 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 2: Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer 554 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 2: is Tessa Hughes. 555 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 1: Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo. 556 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,959 Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Leona Squalocci. 557 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com. 558 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder. 559 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 1: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple 560 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. 561 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 2: And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix. 562 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and 563 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: the remind me buttons. That's the best way you can 564 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: support at our show by 565 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:08,479 Speaker 2: M HM