1
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:05,640
Speaker 1: Hi.

2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,320
Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

3
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,200
Speaker 3: We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

4
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:19,480
Speaker 2: Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are

5
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,280
Speaker 2: a sibling.

6
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,119
Speaker 3: Railvalry.

7
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 4: No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, revelry.

8
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:39,600
Speaker 2: That's good. I'm in Colorado, a many a thousand feet

9
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,360
Speaker 2: trying to get my life in order. I got about

10
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:48,599
Speaker 2: a week left of summer, and you know, summers can

11
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,200
Speaker 2: get to Bacherus, and you know, I put the botch

12
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,280
Speaker 2: into Bachres. I just I don't know what boch means,

13
00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:01,000
Speaker 2: but it probably sounds bad. And now it's time to

14
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,520
Speaker 2: gear up to get back home and refresh and restart.

15
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,240
Speaker 2: I'm doing a movie in October. I can't say what

16
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,480
Speaker 2: it is yet, so I have a couple of months

17
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,000
Speaker 2: to work off my baby fat yep, forty seven, but

18
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,840
Speaker 2: it's I still call it baby fat. From a psychological standpoint.

19
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,760
Speaker 2: It helps me. Yeah, this is fat that's been on

20
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 2: me since you know, I was about six months old.

21
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:33,920
Speaker 2: I'm just a late bloomer, you know. But anyway, I

22
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,560
Speaker 2: want on a high altitude walk. Used to be hors

23
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,280
Speaker 2: HR's high altitude runs, but now it's walking because you

24
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,120
Speaker 2: know what walking's in right now, So I'm going to

25
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,319
Speaker 2: do what's in because I'm hip and I'm trendy. Anyway,

26
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,600
Speaker 2: enough about me, We have an amazing guests waiting in

27
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:58,800
Speaker 2: our waiting room, very excited, very excited to talk to

28
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:04,560
Speaker 2: Renee engine Grasiano. I think it was Jen who started

29
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:09,040
Speaker 2: the Mob wives. I think it was on VH one

30
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:14,040
Speaker 2: at first. And just their life, you know what I mean,

31
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,280
Speaker 2: growing up, the way that they grew up. I know

32
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:21,520
Speaker 2: it may not seem like it, but Oliver Hudson might

33
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,880
Speaker 2: have a little could be connected, you know what I mean.

34
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 2: I'm connected ay my twenty three and me and know

35
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,840
Speaker 2: I'm forty percent Oficilion. And I'm talking like this because

36
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,919
Speaker 2: you know that's how I normally speak. When I talk

37
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 2: like this, that's I'm putting on an accent. Anyway, Renee

38
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,080
Speaker 2: has been through a ton, you know, she's been through

39
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 2: so much. Gen has been through so much. I'm just

40
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:54,280
Speaker 2: you can't get deeper than growing up like these girls did.

41
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,080
Speaker 2: I mean, there's got to be so much shit going on,

42
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,480
Speaker 2: probably stuff they can't even talk about. Anyway, Let's bring

43
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,359
Speaker 2: them in. Let's uh, let's get it going. I'm gonna

44
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,120
Speaker 2: try to make them fall in love with me. Hi, Hey, girls,

45
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,640
Speaker 2: how are you good?

46
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,120
Speaker 3: How are you?

47
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,560
Speaker 2: I'm good, Thanks for coming on.

48
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:11,920
Speaker 3: Nice to meet you.

49
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,120
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you too. What's going on? Where are

50
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,720
Speaker 2: you my sister? Staten Island, Staten Island?

51
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:19,079
Speaker 4: Yeah?

52
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know what have you ever heard of it? A?

53
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:21,880
Speaker 5: Hi?

54
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:29,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? Once or twice with the dump. Well, this is

55
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 2: fucking rab because you know there's a connection here. First

56
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,440
Speaker 2: of all, there's so much to get into, you know,

57
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,920
Speaker 2: just childhood alone, I can't even imagine. But you know,

58
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,080
Speaker 2: so my family on my dad's side is forty I

59
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,320
Speaker 2: did my twenty three, me and forty percent Sicilian. So yeah,

60
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,080
Speaker 2: we came from I think it's called calteen Calta Seta

61
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 2: and then what's this like Sarah Cuso and Sicily. My

62
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:01,800
Speaker 2: great grandmother came over, met my great grandfather, Giuseppe on

63
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,520
Speaker 2: the docks because they were running prohibition back in the day,

64
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:12,520
Speaker 2: you know, and his name was Giuseppe Salerno. Potentially, you know,

65
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,960
Speaker 2: we're still we're still finding out the exact truth. But

66
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,880
Speaker 2: my relatives seemed to say that, you know, Giuseppe's brother

67
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:28,280
Speaker 2: was Tony Seleerno. Yeah, so so you know, there's it's

68
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,360
Speaker 2: a fun connection to talk to you guys who actually

69
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,600
Speaker 2: have been in that world. Before we get into anything

70
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,680
Speaker 2: and the childhood and all that, I just want to

71
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,560
Speaker 2: talk about the romanticism of the mafia and how it

72
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,240
Speaker 2: has been romanticized, and even being somewhat Italian myself, there

73
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 2: is this sort of fantasy that I am connected and

74
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,919
Speaker 2: there is something extremely cool and romantic about it. But

75
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,240
Speaker 2: from a first hand experience, was there romance in it

76
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,920
Speaker 2: or was it just brutality.

77
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,640
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to let her answer the romance question

78
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,440
Speaker 1: because she experienced it way differently than I did.

79
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:08,280
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

80
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,719
Speaker 1: First of all, I was always trying to find my

81
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,599
Speaker 1: romance within that family as well, like try to date

82
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,520
Speaker 1: all the gangsters.

83
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 3: But I definitely was very proud of that world, very

84
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:22,919
Speaker 3: very proud.

85
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,880
Speaker 1: I mean I never waited online, I never paid a

86
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,160
Speaker 1: dinner check. Wherever I walked into I was treated as

87
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:34,040
Speaker 1: if I was royalty, and in my brain, I was royalty.

88
00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,760
Speaker 1: And I think that's because my father was such a

89
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 1: stand up guy.

90
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,720
Speaker 3: That there was this It was glaborous.

91
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,240
Speaker 1: I mean, it's nothing different than the movies, and that's

92
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:52,600
Speaker 1: on both hands, the violence, but there is something glamorous about,

93
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,160
Speaker 1: you know, being first at everything, never waiting, never wanting

94
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 1: things falling off the trucks.

95
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,880
Speaker 3: I had more fur codes by the age of ten.

96
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,240
Speaker 1: And some of the people that are in Hollywood that

97
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,560
Speaker 1: are super you know, well they you could buy them.

98
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,559
Speaker 3: Mine fell off the truck and they were fruit.

99
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,640
Speaker 2: Did you know what? Did you know what was going on?

100
00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,919
Speaker 2: I mean, did you understand how this was all being

101
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,760
Speaker 2: provided for you?

102
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,279
Speaker 3: No, I asked my dad, like, you're always behind the

103
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,880
Speaker 3: truck when things fall off. That's just aging.

104
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,119
Speaker 1: But I remember at the age of sixteen years old,

105
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,640
Speaker 1: I went to this club. It was called Past Shells,

106
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,000
Speaker 1: and that's where like all the gangs just hung out.

107
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:33,720
Speaker 3: And I was at the end of the ball.

108
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,760
Speaker 1: With my best friend, who was a wise guy's son,

109
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,479
Speaker 1: and a guy had said to him, so that's TG's Jorda. Yeah,

110
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,680
Speaker 1: father's a captain. And I looked at my go my

111
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,040
Speaker 1: father doesn't sail a ship. My father doesn't drive a boat.

112
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,880
Speaker 1: And he said, go home and talk to your father.

113
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,280
Speaker 1: So while kids learned about the birds and the bees,

114
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 1: I learned about captains and soldiers.

115
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:52,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

116
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very and that's when it hit me

117
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,760
Speaker 1: and that's when I kind of took advantage of who

118
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:03,240
Speaker 1: I was. I knew I can do anything and get

119
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:03,800
Speaker 1: away with it.

120
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,840
Speaker 3: So the answer to your questions romance, Yeah.

121
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,120
Speaker 2: But how did it not happen for you? How was

122
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,000
Speaker 2: it such a different perspective, which, by the way, is

123
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 2: so interesting because we've been doing this show for a

124
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,200
Speaker 2: million years now with siblings, and you can grow up

125
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,400
Speaker 2: with the same parents and raise the same exact fucking way,

126
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,160
Speaker 2: but you have totally different perspectives on those people and

127
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,360
Speaker 2: how you thought you were raised us.

128
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:27,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

129
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was much younger, and I like, you get

130
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,960
Speaker 1: away with that.

131
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,440
Speaker 3: But really, like where she found romance, I found chaos.

132
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,080
Speaker 1: And I was always the one that wanted to be

133
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 1: left alone and I wanted to have like she wanted.

134
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,360
Speaker 3: She was very proud of being Anthony's daughter. I wanted

135
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,040
Speaker 3: to be Jennifer.

136
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to have my own life with my own

137
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 1: name and my own prowess or whatever it was.

138
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 3: So I like, kind of, yes, I used the word prowess.

139
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,640
Speaker 3: You know, they don't have a dictionary present.

140
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:06,880
Speaker 1: So I masked all of my sort of like pain,

141
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,840
Speaker 1: if you will, by going to school, and I my

142
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,040
Speaker 1: goal was to get a degree and get away from

143
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:11,680
Speaker 1: this life style.

144
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,800
Speaker 3: It's kind of embarrassed by it.

145
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,040
Speaker 1: But you know, in one hand, I loved it, right,

146
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,000
Speaker 1: I like was like, you love the power that you

147
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 1: get from being a gangster's daughter, but I kind of

148
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 1: sort of loathed what came along with it, and that

149
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,800
Speaker 1: was the control and the you know, you.

150
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,960
Speaker 3: Have to act a certain way, look a certain way,

151
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,640
Speaker 3: be a certain way, and.

152
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 1: If you didn't do it, Daddy wanted he takes all

153
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 1: your shit away.

154
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know where he was.

155
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,679
Speaker 1: Well I never got my taken away because I always

156
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,280
Speaker 1: did what I was told, right.

157
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 3: M hm.

158
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,120
Speaker 2: You had to dress a certain way, look a certain way,

159
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,560
Speaker 2: sort of represent the family.

160
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,679
Speaker 1: I guess exactly exactly, not so much dressed a certain way,

161
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,400
Speaker 1: but there was like there was like this this to

162
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,400
Speaker 1: me it was it was very controlling. It was an

163
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,160
Speaker 1: atmosphere of you belonged to them and all of them,

164
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,600
Speaker 1: and you couldn't have your own lives.

165
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 3: Like like, I dyed my hair.

166
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,960
Speaker 1: Once, I remember, and my father's like, did you ask

167
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,079
Speaker 1: me if you can die my hair?

168
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,240
Speaker 3: Your hair? That's my hair?

169
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,000
Speaker 1: And I was like, are you fucking nuts? Like that

170
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,400
Speaker 1: sounds so crazy to me, and I'm like, the next day,

171
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 1: I died it again, child, where Renee would have been like, okay,

172
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,640
Speaker 1: tap me, I'll turn it back to plat thank you.

173
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,320
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have died it in the first place.

174
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,679
Speaker 2: But what happens when you push back? You know what

175
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 2: I mean? Does that sort of cause family issues? And

176
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,160
Speaker 2: where is your mom? What did your mom fit into

177
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,280
Speaker 2: all this? As far as raising you again too?

178
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,839
Speaker 3: Totally different perspectives.

179
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,160
Speaker 1: She did everything she was told from start to finish

180
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,840
Speaker 1: all of her life. He's now past five years. She's

181
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:43,800
Speaker 1: still doing what he would expect of her. If you

182
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,960
Speaker 1: asked me, I think we had one of we We

183
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,600
Speaker 1: definitely have one of the greatest mothers ever as far

184
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,960
Speaker 1: as and he don't.

185
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,679
Speaker 3: Only because he's passed away, will I say this, But

186
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,439
Speaker 3: I do have some sympathy for her now.

187
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,319
Speaker 1: Because he was it's my way or no way, and

188
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,960
Speaker 1: that's the end of it. So I do feel bad

189
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,440
Speaker 1: for her because she's she's a brilliant, beautiful woman. But Golfer,

190
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,080
Speaker 1: I remember one time, remember when when I'm having a

191
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,640
Speaker 1: hotfledge over it, Remember when dad, when she got linoleum.

192
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: This one time the guy came from the linoleum us.

193
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 1: I'm dating, I'm fifty.

194
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,240
Speaker 3: Five, and I could say it because I look at it.

195
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,880
Speaker 3: So the linoleum was.

196
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,120
Speaker 1: Like ten cents more than it was supposed to be

197
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,200
Speaker 1: on every little square or whatever. And my father got

198
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 1: furious and choke the guy with the telephone court and

199
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,600
Speaker 1: my mother just panicked like she didn't know what to do.

200
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,120
Speaker 3: But that was just normal. Ye listen, say, we got

201
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 3: the linoleum for free.

202
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,160
Speaker 1: But my mom, my mom came from Hell's Kitchen, my father,

203
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,920
Speaker 1: the Lower East Side. She was grateful to get out

204
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,160
Speaker 1: of the Hell's kitchen, but she jumped into Hell's kitchen.

205
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,880
Speaker 3: I know it isn't it. I just thought of it.

206
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I do.

207
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,199
Speaker 1: There's three of us, and my oldest sister was definitely

208
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:14,960
Speaker 1: the worst. She did anything and everything for attention and

209
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 1: when against the grain completely.

210
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 3: I wanted to be my father, not my mother, my

211
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 3: father because he exuded this. He was just he floated

212
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,160
Speaker 3: to me, he floated when he walked.

213
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,040
Speaker 1: He did don't have for me, he was My father

214
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,720
Speaker 1: is like my superhero on Earth.

215
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,280
Speaker 3: It's God and my father.

216
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 2: That's what it is for me.

217
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,440
Speaker 3: You're sure he's not in rever you know God's first.

218
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 1: But I just loved this man because he did what

219
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,040
Speaker 1: he said, he meant what he said, and he had

220
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:51,240
Speaker 1: this respect. He believed in his own self.

221
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,240
Speaker 3: So much where I full short on that one.

222
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: So I looked up to him because he believed everything

223
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,360
Speaker 1: and he stood by his word, and I think there's

224
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,720
Speaker 1: we don't have that today in this world.

225
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:03,560
Speaker 3: Man.

226
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,679
Speaker 1: If he if he committed a crime, he did his time,

227
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,439
Speaker 1: he never told nothing, and he believed in his world

228
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,920
Speaker 1: so much that it ended up costing him a lot

229
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,480
Speaker 1: of his time years later.

230
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,280
Speaker 3: But I respect him for the man that he was.

231
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I want to hear the other side of that,

232
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,760
Speaker 2: because because I completely understand what you're saying, right, I mean,

233
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,840
Speaker 2: someone who is that loyal to their own values and

234
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,600
Speaker 2: to the people that you love, and you know there

235
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 2: is something to be said for that, no doubt about it. Right.

236
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 2: But then when you look at the other side of things,

237
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,360
Speaker 2: where you know and you just look past all that,

238
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,280
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, and how are you how

239
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,720
Speaker 2: are you gaining that respect? Is it through your true

240
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,480
Speaker 2: personality and who you are? Or is it fear you

241
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,160
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, or is a little bit of

242
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,120
Speaker 2: both both.

243
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,000
Speaker 3: My product had.

244
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,040
Speaker 1: A personality that was like he was like outrageous. He

245
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,959
Speaker 1: walked in a room and everyone wanted to be next

246
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 1: to him.

247
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,439
Speaker 3: He was like that charming. So I think it was

248
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,240
Speaker 3: a little bit of both.

249
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,360
Speaker 1: But to me, as charming as he was was as

250
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,439
Speaker 1: vicious as he could.

251
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 3: Be, you know.

252
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,560
Speaker 1: So he had that dual nature that I could never

253
00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:11,720
Speaker 1: fucking reconcile.

254
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:12,560
Speaker 2: You couldn't.

255
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't until I got older. Until I got older.

256
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,600
Speaker 1: I think it took me a very long time to

257
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 1: understand him. But when I finally did, I really kind

258
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:26,599
Speaker 1: of realized it was family first, both of them.

259
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,120
Speaker 3: Sometimes that went over us, but when you realize that

260
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:30,920
Speaker 3: the choice.

261
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,600
Speaker 1: He made, you kind of had respect the fact that, Okay,

262
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,200
Speaker 1: he picked it and he stood by it to the death.

263
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,920
Speaker 3: You know, at first I didn't like it, but then

264
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,320
Speaker 3: I grew to understand it. And then my mother, going

265
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,960
Speaker 3: back to that question, she did everything he said.

266
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,680
Speaker 1: But I think I feel like she lived a little

267
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:51,000
Speaker 1: bit through me everything that she thinks, like she want, Yeah,

268
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,840
Speaker 1: that's right, everything she wanted to be in her own life.

269
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,040
Speaker 3: She pushed me to become.

270
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,439
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of what I tried to

271
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 1: accomplish was for her so that she can see it

272
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,120
Speaker 1: too or feel it too, because I feel like my

273
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,600
Speaker 1: father stole her life.

274
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, well do you do you think that your mom

275
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,679
Speaker 2: or do you know if your mom was like being

276
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,439
Speaker 2: herself behind his back? You know what I'm saying. That's

277
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,040
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, like like meaning like I got to

278
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,520
Speaker 2: play this part for him, but there are certain things

279
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 2: that I want to do that that individuate me, that

280
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,960
Speaker 2: make me an authentic person aside from my husband, that

281
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to do in the dark a little bit and.

282
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,040
Speaker 3: Behind her like when I did, I think she was

283
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,600
Speaker 3: secretly happy, right.

284
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:36,360
Speaker 1: God never she never disobeyed, And I know that sounds

285
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 1: maybe a little harsh, but I also believe in very

286
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: old school.

287
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:45,840
Speaker 3: I believe in that she never did anything. Okay, So

288
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,080
Speaker 3: once I got older, she's nothing. Okay. She told back

289
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 3: and she got older, maybe like two times. One time

290
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:53,800
Speaker 3: she was.

291
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 1: Really mad at him and she tried to run away

292
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,840
Speaker 1: with us. We made it to the corner like she

293
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 1: you know, she no.

294
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 3: He found us everywhere everywhere we were in Disney World.

295
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,600
Speaker 1: He was paging us on the Disney World fucking He'd

296
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 1: show up at the beach and.

297
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 3: His fucking full blown suit with his on the big beach.

298
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,960
Speaker 3: How'd you find us? He found us everywhere and I

299
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,640
Speaker 3: fucking hated it. I hated it.

300
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 2: I loved I loved it.

301
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 3: Daddy was here. First of all, my mother looked like

302
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,360
Speaker 3: rockel Welch.

303
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:32,280
Speaker 1: My mother was gorgeous, I mean gorgeous, phenomenal, So.

304
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,400
Speaker 3: I understand he was. You know, he was a jealous.

305
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 3: But my mother would never in a million years have

306
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 3: even look at somebody.

307
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,880
Speaker 1: She one time said that Alec Baldwin was like after

308
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,600
Speaker 1: I think it was malice or something.

309
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,720
Speaker 3: See Angela bil We were never allowed to watch an

310
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 3: ale No was so serious, so serious.

311
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 1: And Robert de Niro, because well Robinson Arrow was her

312
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,960
Speaker 1: first date ever ever really, and my father.

313
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 3: Had words with him and he was never to come

314
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 3: around again. And he didn't.

315
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 1: And I couldn't watch Robertsoniro unless it was The Godfather

316
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 1: or anything mob related. He didn't want nothing to do

317
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 1: with him either.

318
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 2: What did your dad think of those epic movies, the classics?

319
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,360
Speaker 2: I mean, as far as The Godfather goes, I don't

320
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 2: think I ever.

321
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,480
Speaker 1: Had a conversation with him, but I think he I

322
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 1: remember watching the sopranos and lang on the couch and

323
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 1: being someone's telling them my stories, this is you know,

324
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 1: stuff like that.

325
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 3: But how good Fellas, well, those are those are all

326
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:45,200
Speaker 3: his friends? Yeah?

327
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think for me because Goodfellas was also

328
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 1: the time.

329
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 3: I was coming up, growing out, So.

330
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 1: I think that was the realist. So did know those

331
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 1: men and call them uncle? I mean I never heard

332
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 1: him say anything negat about the movies. I never I

333
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 1: think that was the one that was depicted the best,

334
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 1: you know, and the closest.

335
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I've never really heard him. He didn't. He

336
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 3: didn't talk about business.

337
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 2: At all, Like he didn't never. No, That's what I'm wondering,

338
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,879
Speaker 2: Like how did he keep it from you for sixteen years?

339
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 2: Like what the hell did you think was going on?

340
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 1: Well, you had an idea, sooner I knew he was

341
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 1: I knew I was different. I knew I was different

342
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,400
Speaker 1: from the amount of the attention. And then I think

343
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 1: when I was thirteen, the Feds rated the house for

344
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 1: the first time, and that's really when things started to

345
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,120
Speaker 1: shift for me because the kids in my class flew

346
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 1: the article of his arrests to my desk, and I

347
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,959
Speaker 1: knew it, but when I went home and said anything,

348
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,719
Speaker 1: he was like, you always come home and tell me

349
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 1: I'll handle it.

350
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,639
Speaker 3: So for me, I knew it was powered in her.

351
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like if anybody bothered me, I would be like, Daddy,

352
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:05,360
Speaker 1: this person is here, and you know, but I enjoyed

353
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 1: my life. For me, I have a lot of guilt

354
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 1: about it now, and it's not even mine to have

355
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 1: guilt over. Like, I feel bad about a lot of things,

356
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,160
Speaker 1: like the people, especially girlfriends of mine.

357
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:22,200
Speaker 3: That was their fathers to murder. It's a horrible.

358
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: Feeling, you know, it's horrible. But when it was back then,

359
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 1: it was just so I don't know.

360
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,479
Speaker 2: I mean, it was you know, how organized was it

361
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 2: in the sense of, you know, the families who obviously

362
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,920
Speaker 2: were competing and there was you know, obviously volatility between them,

363
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 2: but it was also there was there was there was

364
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 2: a structure to it, you know what I mean. So

365
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 2: I'm sure there were times of violence in times of

366
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 2: pure peace when everyone's sort of getting along and basically

367
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:56,120
Speaker 2: you know, they've got their block essentially, and that's it, right,

368
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 2: I mean, was it a violent childhood or you just

369
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 2: didn't see that shit? And is there ever any risk

370
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: you know, in the gangster world of the siblings or

371
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 2: the children of mobsters sort of being touched.

372
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 1: Not no, not physically touched. There's risk of being arrested

373
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,479
Speaker 1: because of the men. It had my mother and my

374
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 1: sister in the eighties.

375
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they got arrested.

376
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 3: They got arrested.

377
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 1: It was my mother, my father, my sister, her husband,

378
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,639
Speaker 1: and her mother in law got arrested. And then the

379
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 1: two men stepped up and basically told the government, we'll

380
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 1: take extra time for the women.

381
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 3: And they at that time they let them do it.

382
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 1: Well, you were allowed to back then, so they couldn't

383
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 1: get the husbands. They couldn't get my father, my brother

384
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 1: in law, so pinched the women and then the husbands

385
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 1: will take the heat. So that was the title was

386
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 1: mob men take the heat so the women don't have

387
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 1: to That was the title that they ran. But we

388
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,360
Speaker 1: never saw violence, not in the house either. All right,

389
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: maybe through a couple of.

390
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 3: Things, but we never were hit. Well, we weren't, we

391
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 3: were we weren't. I had one. I got it, okay,

392
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 3: I got hit on the head with the phone.

393
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 1: That was this thing.

394
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 3: You walk to bed and we get you with the

395
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 3: reason he was like, bang off the top of the head.

396
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 3: I got kicked in.

397
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 1: My I got kicked in my ass in high school

398
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: in front of the whole class. But it was never

399
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 1: We never had anything to fear. We were There was

400
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 1: never a gun in the house.

401
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 3: My father knew him that we knew of which is good.

402
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 3: That means it wasn't. I think she lives. She lives

403
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 3: in an alternate.

404
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 2: Universe, right right.

405
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 3: A gun in the house. I don't know if there was,

406
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 3: it wasn't, but I would assume he would have a

407
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 3: gun in the house.

408
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 1: Why nobody would ever, nobody ever wanted to kill him

409
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 1: because she went for what he was doing before.

410
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think so.

411
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: You just want to see daddy is perfect?

412
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: Yeah right, yes, yes, I went to the Simmons every day.

413
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 3: I miss him terribly.

414
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's your dad, you know what I mean.

415
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 1: Like he was such a he was such a protector

416
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: and would stop at nothing to keep his children safe

417
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: and looking out in the world today, I wish everybody

418
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 1: had my thought, you know what I mean? So for me,

419
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 1: I kind of I'm an emotional person, so I equate

420
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: it with everything else that's happening in life and watching

421
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: kids grow up that their fathers didn't even.

422
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 3: Care about them.

423
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: For me, that's very hard because my father loved us,

424
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 1: Oh my God, loved us.

425
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 3: Crazy did he did? He did?

426
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: It took me a long time to realize that I

427
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 1: probably should have not fought against them so hard.

428
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,399
Speaker 3: I probably, but.

429
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 2: It makes sense, you know what I mean? Like you

430
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 2: also understood the other side of it as well, you didn't,

431
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: you know, you didn't want to just sort of shy

432
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 2: away from me, like, well, there's there's two sides of

433
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 2: this thing. But family's family, and it's the most important thing.

434
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 2: Like I'm a dad, I got three kids, Like that's

435
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 2: all that matters to me, are my kids, you know

436
00:21:55,720 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, that's it was your grandfather his father, Now.

437
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so was he was?

438
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 2: He was the first.

439
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 3: He was the first.

440
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: And what did he send to Like what was his

441
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 2: top title?

442
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 3: She'll tell you what was his top title?

443
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 1: What was My father was the consoliariged My father was.

444
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 3: The constanlyieria of the Banano Prime family. It's he's dead,

445
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 3: all right.

446
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: And I read the newspaper it said, but you're not

447
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,239
Speaker 1: even allowed to I'm not allowed to say it.

448
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: How about this? You know what. For me, the mob

449
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 3: kind of died when my father did. Like, my belief

450
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 3: of it has shifted tremendously. Now. There were men that I.

451
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: Still respect and there's men that I absolutely don't respect.

452
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: There's things I've seen when my father passed away that

453
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 1: I've my stomach turns when I look at certain people. Now, So,

454
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 1: now that he's gone, I know a side of it

455
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: that I don't like. And I'm okay that it's not

456
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: a part of my everyday world anymore. Because I don't

457
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: have somebody like my father representing my family. I'm good

458
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: with it. And whether it's allegedly or really was according

459
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: to the government, it said, so I can't say what.

460
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 3: The government said that the government said anyway.

461
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:23,400
Speaker 2: Okay, how far apart are you guys in age five? Oh? God,

462
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 2: that's wait, I.

463
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 3: Tell everybody five. Oh whatever?

464
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 2: How did you How did you guys get along? You

465
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 2: know growing up? Were you guys tight growing up?

466
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: Yes?

467
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 3: We were. We were so.

468
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: Our sister is a lot older than us. She's kind

469
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 1: of like out there in the streets running amok.

470
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, like young.

471
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: We shared a bedroom together and we were We used

472
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: to play school and all the things little girls.

473
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 2: Do, but she never.

474
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: When she got older, she didn't want me around, so

475
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: I had to go to my cousin Alexis to have

476
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: her include me.

477
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 3: And then I got older and didn't want anything to

478
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 3: do with her anymore.

479
00:23:58,440 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: Is that what happened?

480
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you know what I think? For me?

481
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: When I started to date, No, we were actually there

482
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: was like a brief.

483
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 3: She went away to college. So Jennifer took the smart

484
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 3: route and she was going to be something.

485
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 1: I was going to be somebody's wife, and I was

486
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: going to be a mother and my father's daughter forever,

487
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: and that's all that mattered to me. And shame on

488
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: me because I did not expand my horizons the way

489
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: I should have. I kind of pigeonholed myself and thinking

490
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: this is all I could be and this is all

491
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: I should be.

492
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 3: However, later on in life I became a mob wife on TV.

493
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: Still go pick either way.

494
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 2: Well, who are you married?

495
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm divorced. I married somebody who I thought

496
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 1: was like everything, and he became a federal informant.

497
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 3: He's a rat. Ask no way, He's this scum of the.

498
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 1: He's a scumbag. I'm sorry I had my follow jail. Yeah, no,

499
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: I hate him.

500
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,959
Speaker 2: I fucking I'm sure this is all stuff that I

501
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 2: that is out there I just don't know about.

502
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 3: But wait, no, I'm really hot.

503
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 2: He turned? So he did he? Did he turn? Or

504
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: did he come in like that?

505
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 3: He turned?

506
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh no, he turned? So Mob Wives and season one

507
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 1: or two too? Yeah, season two. I had plastic surgery

508
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: going terribly wrong, and he came back to me and

509
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 1: he gave me this rolex.

510
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: It was this one rolex I didn't have.

511
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why that's so important. I take

512
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: him back. I love you, mind you. I'm a domestic

513
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: violence survivor. My took him back anyway, no matter like

514
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: it's like the word abuse. I fool in every category,

515
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: but I took him back. I was convinced nobody else

516
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: would ever want me. I wasn't good enough.

517
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 3: I wasn't anything unless he said so.

518
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 1: So I went back with long story short, we find

519
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: out that he's cooperating, and lo and behold, he takes

520
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: off My money's gone everything. So I go to Hakpul

521
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: the jewelry because I've run his watch collection.

522
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 3: I'd take mine off.

523
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: They all had wires in them, and they will say, yeah,

524
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: true story.

525
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, true story.

526
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 2: So did you find out later how this happened? He

527
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: got clipped or something and then they turned him.

528
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 3: So, no, he clipped somebody, That's how that would hurt.

529
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 3: He killed somebody.

530
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: Comes to find out that he was actually cooperating for

531
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: a lot moment than we knew. It was like he

532
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 1: started cooperating in two thousand and six. He turned November

533
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: twenty one, two thousand and eleven, is when he turned

534
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: himself in. And true story. My father before he came home,

535
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: he was coming home from eleven years. And I had

536
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 1: said maybe three or four months before he came home

537
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: in a letter my mom still has don't talk to nobody.

538
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: You're gonna go back to jail right before Thanksgiving, And

539
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,199
Speaker 1: that to day before Thanksgiving they picked him back up.

540
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 3: He was home three months after eleven years. Yeah.

541
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: Wow, So there's a when I said, I I despise

542
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: I haven't them anymore. There's a lot of a lot

543
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: of sadness behind something I built with so glamorous.

544
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody can wat where's that X? Now, where's that dude?

545
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 3: He actually just went back to jail again. He did

546
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 3: just did the thirty three fucking years he kept his

547
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 3: face up and not being the bird on the wire.

548
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm laughing non intended to your mother. I'm sma,

549
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: I'm laughing because I looked at your Instagram pages and

550
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: they interviewed like the Jonas brothers and and Joey what's

551
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: his name and his brothers, and you're like.

552
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,719
Speaker 6: He clips someone. I'm like, oh my god. Well he

553
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,160
Speaker 6: I wanted to give him the proper terminology. He said,

554
00:27:55,000 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 6: I understand this heavy fodder. I can't help but just

555
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 6: be me.

556
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 2: I love that. And that's the same thing with my

557
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: with me too. I mean, you know, I've gotten in trouble,

558
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 2: not in trouble, but headlines written about me and ship

559
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 2: because I say things that are personal and and that's

560
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 2: what makes your podcasts great too, I'm sure. Just that authenticity,

561
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 2: that's what made mob Wives so successful. By the way, Jen,

562
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 2: did you were you the founder of that? Did you

563
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 2: start that show?

564
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 1: Uh?

565
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 2: Huh?

566
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

567
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 1: So I created that and stive producers executive producer too.

568
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 3: She likes she brags about me more than my mother,

569
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 3: which is a lot, but yeah, so I created that.

570
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: And then it ran for six seasons, four spin offs

571
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: after show.

572
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: That's great on the start I know. Yeah, and then

573
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: to the detriment of the relationship of your dad, right,

574
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 2: because he didn't speak to you for a minute.

575
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, so everyone asked me like, how the fuck and

576
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: why the fuck did you do that? Right? But again

577
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: I go back to that rebellious side of me, just

578
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: wants to do what I want to do, and I'm

579
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,959
Speaker 1: going to do it no matter what. And you know,

580
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: I lied to him. I never told him the truth

581
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: of what it was. You know, he was in prison already,

582
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: and so I just told him, oh, I made a show.

583
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: It's going to be out, and he was so proud,

584
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: but he had no idea what it was cold, he

585
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: had no idea what it was about. And by the

586
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: time he found out it was too late.

587
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 3: I had already signed it over, started making it. And yeah,

588
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 3: he was fucking curious. Yeah, he up us for two years.

589
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, well, Renette houd of that, How was that

590
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: for you? Because Jen, look, I'm not saying you didn't

591
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: love your dad, but it almost seems like easier where

592
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: it's it's like, all right, like I have a separation,

593
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 2: but you have wrapped so much of your identity up

594
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: and who your father is and his love for you

595
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 2: and his protection. Now he's like, hey, you know what

596
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: Rene funk Off?

597
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 3: It added to.

598
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: It fueled my depression and my addiction. Uh, most definitely.

599
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 1: I'm just my father's gone five years. I'm kind of

600
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: just figuring out who I am. I've always been. My

601
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: name was Anthony's daughter, and I was good with that.

602
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 1: So I'm kind of I'm learning about myself now. The

603
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: fact then it was it was terrible. I mean he

604
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: I wrote this man every week. He wouldn't write back

605
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: to me. As matter of fact, I was in the

606
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: hospital on my deathbed. I was literally on my deathbed.

607
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: The priest had come in and read my last rites

608
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: the second time, and my father pulled and he said,

609
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: you have sayga, buddy, your daughter. Your daughter's not I

610
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: had merca throughout my whole body. And my father didn't

611
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: want to get on the phone. And he said, no,

612
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: your daughter is darning and he said, nah, she both

613
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 1: didn't you and my mother said no. Anthony and my

614
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: father got on the phone and he said, you'll never

615
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 1: talk about that. Show I love you and that's it.

616
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: And that's act how my father and we never.

617
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 3: Talked about it.

618
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: However, I know for a fact you know, it went

619
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: from me being Anthony's daughter to him walking down like

620
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: the corridor and Jamay's father being Day's father.

621
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 3: I don't know if he was too happy with it,

622
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 3: but I will tell you this.

623
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: At the very end of his life, like I know,

624
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: going to visit him because he died of dementia, so

625
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: he was in a nursing home. He would ask me

626
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:30,239
Speaker 1: to bring autographs for the nurses. So there he was

627
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: proud of us regardless.

628
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean when he was in there, he didn't

629
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 3: have VH one right, so I was trying.

630
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: All he was hearing about was mob wife hog and

631
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: his friends were mad and everybody was mad.

632
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 3: But they never really got a chance to see that.

633
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: We weren't talking about anything that wasn't already on the news.

634
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: It wasn't about the men. It was about the women's experience.

635
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: And for me it was like Athart, he was like,

636
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: I want to show what women go through being in

637
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: this type of lifestyle.

638
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 3: So it was all about the women.

639
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: And finally when he came home after whatever, maybe it

640
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: was like season three or four, I don't even remember,

641
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: and he saw he was like, this is what everybody

642
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: was worried about.

643
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 3: Now granted he didn't like the title and the fact that.

644
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: We were even talking, but he finally was able to

645
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: see for himself that it wasn't.

646
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 3: About him, it wasn't about the men, and it was

647
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 3: really just women talk.

648
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: It was talking about how the lifestyle affected that.

649
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 3: Their lives became because of it. So, I mean, eventually

650
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 3: I think he forgave. He was never truly happy.

651
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 2: But did he ever see it.

652
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, not according to what.

653
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: He told me, No, but he probably secretly watched it

654
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: episode or two, Like there was one episode that I

655
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: had a fistfight on TV and he was like, never

656
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: my daughter, And then I know he was like, you

657
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 1: got to learn how to fight, so I was. So

658
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: he probably saw a few things, but he didn't like

659
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 1: any TV that I did like, even when I did

660
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: we TV, I did.

661
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 3: A couple of other shows he didn't like to watch.

662
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: In general because he didn't like my behavior. And I was,

663
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: you know, I got nothing to hide, I'm gonna say

664
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: and do as I please, and that he was embarrassed

665
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: by a lot of my bad behavior.

666
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 3: I don't believe I'm a little embarrassed by too.

667
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 2: When did you guys, you had your separation of sorts

668
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: as sisters. But when did you come together again? You

669
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like once you went to college,

670
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 2: was there a moment where there was a bit separate

671
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 2: and then you found your way back to each other.

672
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: Probably when I had my son, my life kind of

673
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: came full circle and I needed my mother and she

674
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: was living with my mother.

675
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 3: Was Daddy in jail, Daddy in jail.

676
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 1: She was living with my mother at the same time,

677
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: and our sons became like brothers. They were like the

678
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: best of friends. They still are to this day. So

679
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: I think that's what kind of brought up. I mean,

680
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: I always came back. It's not like I ran away.

681
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: My thing was like it was like I just wanted

682
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: my own life, you know. And she don't agree, but

683
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I was the favorite child from both

684
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: my mother and my father and and they kind of

685
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: fixated on It's the truth.

686
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 3: You became the favorite child. I was always the favorite child.

687
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: J Jen. I can relate. I can relate always. I'm

688
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 2: my mom's favorite. There's hands down. That's it, all right.

689
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 3: Well, you know what, me and Kate will battle you too.

690
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,280
Speaker 2: Because my sister, my sister will will admit that she'll

691
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: be Oliver is the favorite, but I'm the oldest though.

692
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, well a lot of the oldest.

693
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: I felt like like they like they fixed they fixated

694
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 1: on me, and it was a lot of pressure on

695
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 1: both sides.

696
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 3: To me.

697
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: I felt like, you know, I had the pressure of

698
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 1: being everything my father thought I should be, and I

699
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 1: had the pressure of wanting to.

700
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 3: Be everything I wanted to be for my mother, and

701
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 3: I just wanted to be me, left alone in my

702
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 3: own world. So I kind of I didn't run away.

703
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 3: I was always part of the family and I.

704
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: Always came back, but I had a whole other life

705
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: over the other they didn't even know about.

706
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 3: And that's a whole other.

707
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's a good story, but why is it?

708
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: But why is that something that Why would you say

709
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 2: it that way, like it's a whole other life, which

710
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 2: is another story, meaning like you created a separate life

711
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 2: away from them that you didn't even want them to

712
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 2: know about.

713
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: So the difference is Jennifer is a lot. She's a

714
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: lot like my father. They're first of all, they're both scorpios,

715
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: and they have their My father was brilliant and my

716
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: sister is extremely brilliant, and their minds are able to

717
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: go places to see above and beyond.

718
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 3: Where I wasn't capable of. I'm sure I am.

719
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: I limited myself and I was good with it. Wife, mother,

720
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,479
Speaker 1: you know that that was enough.

721
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 3: I wanted to go on the visits. I didn't want

722
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 3: to be the one that was being visited, got it? Yeah? So,

723
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 3: And I didn't want to.

724
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: Be my mother being controlled by a man in a

725
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: lifetime where you had no voice, you were invisible, you

726
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: were nothing.

727
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 3: But an accessory on the arm. Yeah, not living that way.

728
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 3: And that's how ILL growing up.

729
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: And I saw that, and I was like, we gotta

730
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 1: get I ask my mother, we gotta get the fuck

731
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: out of you.

732
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 3: And she's like, I got nowhere to go. I got

733
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 3: no money of my own.

734
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: And that to me was like, oh, now I know

735
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: how I gotta get out of here. I gotta make

736
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: my own money. I got to go to school, I

737
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 1: got to become whatever I want to become and go.

738
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: But I never wanted to leave.

739
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:25,879
Speaker 3: It was just me theoretically.

740
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just wanted to individuate, you know what I mean.

741
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: If your mom had the money, if your mom had

742
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: the means, you think she would have gotten out of there.

743
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 3: You would have never let her know anyway she would

744
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 3: have left. Oh, I would have taken her. She definitely

745
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 3: loved my father.

746
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 1: I think that she was there was there was a

747
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: lot of it was like weird to me, right, there

748
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: was a lot of love, right, But I couldn't figure out, like,

749
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: if there's so much love, why is there also this?

750
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,840
Speaker 3: Why is there also cheating? And she's gonna hate me

751
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 3: for saying it, But that's the.

752
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 2: Lifestyle, right right, the Glomas exactly.

753
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 1: So why is there this? And why do you get

754
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: to stay out old fucking night? Well, she has to

755
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: take care of us. Why can't she go out too?

756
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 3: Like? And I couldn't.

757
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: She went bowling?

758
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, bully, just there too.

759
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 3: That her life.

760
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 1: She's a really good bowling an old woman's bowlingly.

761
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: Dude, that's fucking amazing. That needs to be included somewhere

762
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: in some show that you're doing, like a incredible Well

763
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 2: I can't wait if you're looking for a forty seven

764
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 2: year old forty percent Sillian actor. Yeah, absolutely, I'm in Yeah.

765
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 2: And then what about your kids? How many kids do

766
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 2: you guys have?

767
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 3: We got money, folk boy, and I have four grandchildren.

768
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 2: So you do a man.

769
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 1: I have a seven year old, a three and a

770
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: half year old, and twin.

771
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 3: Girls that are eighteen months. I have one son.

772
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

773
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, today we went to.

774
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: Go visit my dad at the cemetery and my grandson

775
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: put on us too. Am I going?

776
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 3: So you guys show them the picture? Yeah. Wait, I'll

777
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 3: get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. He he

778
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 3: talks to my dad. It's it's, oh wow, can you

779
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 3: see that?

780
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 2: Can you see go closer? Oh my godvable.

781
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 3: He's dead serious too, has this conversation.

782
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,439
Speaker 1: I'll come back and visit you seven year old. I'm

783
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: seven years old. Now I'm going to second ques. It's

784
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: I try to do that. I try to teach him

785
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: as much as I can.

786
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 3: He'll do that. But he's cute. He tells everybody my

787
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: grandmother was on mob wife.

788
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and who created and my badass aunt Jen created it.

789
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

790
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: So we have one boy each and and they're good

791
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: boys and they're nothing like that world.

792
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they understand that, they know it. They know

793
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: where they came from.

794
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were.

795
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 1: Doing jail visits five months old, you know, so it

796
00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 1: was like crazy.

797
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: But they did. They have a romantic notion of it

798
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,240
Speaker 2: in any way. You know, they proud of the fact

799
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 2: that their grandfather was a consulieri allegedly.

800
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:15,240
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of my father, very disgraced by his father.

801
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 3: My son is very by his son. My son is

802
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 3: very disgraced by his father.

803
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 1: He feels that, but he's still he's he goes by Graziano,

804
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 1: my son.

805
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 3: He doesn't say his father's last name.

806
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 2: No, he doesn't. Oh, got it.

807
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, And if my father had it his way, all

808
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 1: the grandkids would go by Graziano.

809
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: They would have no identity of their own right.

810
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 2: What about it? What about marrying Italian? Was that something

811
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 2: that was important?

812
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 3: I didn't and that's why it was half Italian and

813
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,320
Speaker 3: he was a loser.

814
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: I should have never married him. My father knew that

815
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: from the very beginning. He did not want me to

816
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 1: marry him. He was Puerto Rican and Italian, but he

817
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: didn't want me to marry Listen, true story is I'm

818
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: a you believer in God. The guy's last name is Pagan.

819
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: That's the first I got married in church. It was

820
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: called our Lady of Pity. You would have thought, and

821
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: a black crow, I swear to God sat above us

822
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: on the perch.

823
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 3: You would have thought I would have ran out of

824
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 3: the church. And I let's not.

825
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: Forget the Chinese fighting fish that were her centerpiece, that eating.

826
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 2: Each other and fucking about it.

827
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 3: They want the Siamese fighting fish, but I did. They

828
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,879
Speaker 3: were bigger, but they were little, and they just all

829
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 3: I should have.

830
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: Known, multiple multiple signs. You should have just run.

831
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: Let me say this, My father liked him because he

832
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 1: was the muscle. He was the muscle, so he allowed

833
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: her to marry.

834
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 3: And he changed his name to Junior and that was it.

835
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 3: So he made him Italian.

836
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then the fact that he turned on him,

837
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: that was I think that like really hurt my father

838
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: because he was at one point he was going to

839
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: adopt him and give him our land.

840
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I know I know who a

841
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 3: fact he was. I know, and I had a problem

842
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: with it because it's my lad your brother. No, he

843
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 3: wanted to give him his last name so he could

844
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 3: be a wise guy because he could never be a

845
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 3: wise because mother was Italian. He good for someone who

846
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 3: knows this more, look at you, I don't know nothing.

847
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 3: He can never be a wise guy.

848
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: Why what are the stipulation you.

849
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 3: Have to be all Italian?

850
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 2: Are you yes, and.

851
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 3: It's in If there was ever an exception, it was

852
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 3: not on the mother's side. It's the father's side. What

853
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 3: are you sure? Kid? With you? Are you sure? I'm

854
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 3: not positive. I don't know.

855
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: Then maybe I don't know as much as I thought

856
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 1: I did. And I like it that way because I don't.

857
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 3: Have to go to jail. They stay in that world.

858
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 3: Stay in the kitchen, Renee, Stay in the.

859
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: Kitchen Renee real quick. I want to get into your podcast,

860
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 2: but before that, you know, you're sort of addiction. When

861
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 2: did that take place? You kind of touched upon it

862
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 2: a little bit, you know where it stemmed from. Yeah,

863
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: where are you at with that now? Like you said,

864
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 2: you died twice.

865
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 1: My addiction was present from the age of like thirteen fourteen,

866
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,959
Speaker 1: and then throughout like my younger years, my teenage into

867
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 1: my twenties. It was champagne and cocaine. It's like where

868
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: I grew up and then being a domestic violent survivor,

869
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: they started to give me like my he chatted my sacrum.

870
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: So oxy eighties came into play when I was about

871
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: thirty six.

872
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 2: Was this from the same dude the Puerto Rican County? Y?

873
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

874
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: And how would your dad take to that ship?

875
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,240
Speaker 1: My father was in jail, and I never told because

876
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: I because I was taught a lesson.

877
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 3: When I was about eight years old.

878
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: My oldest sister used to row up the piggy bank

879
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: and my father and I cracked it open one day

880
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: to count money, and he said where'd the money go?

881
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 1: And I said, Lana took it.

882
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 3: Smacked me and he said, never tell on anybody, and that.

883
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,240
Speaker 1: Stuck with me all my life. So I never told.

884
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: So I lived this lie, married to a monster.

885
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 2: If your dad would have known the truth, what do

886
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 2: you think would have happened?

887
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 3: Killed him? Absolutely?

888
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: Do you think he would have killed him? Yeah?

889
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

890
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: I didn't tell also because I thought it would be

891
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 1: my sin and I'd go to hell.

892
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 3: I really believe that. In my mind, I wish I

893
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 3: did tell.

894
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: However, I also had to think about losing my dad

895
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: to the system. If that was the case. It's not

896
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: here nor there anymore. But I'm now nine months and

897
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: ten days sober.

898
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 2: Wow, congratulations you thank you. I tried.

899
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: I started to get sober like fourteen years ago, and

900
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: back and forth and back and forth, and I would

901
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: say I was definitely sober at least six to eight

902
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 1: months a year, just not consecutively. And I battled it

903
00:43:55,920 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: and battled it. But now I'm too old into me,

904
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 1: you know, like eleven ten, eleven months ago, I'm better

905
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: on this side. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be

906
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: there for my grandchildren and they need me and they

907
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: really love me, uh and they want to hang out

908
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 1: with me.

909
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 3: You know. My best friends are seven and three and

910
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 3: a half. So I'm there and they don't tell them

911
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: about it.

912
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 2: You had an overdose.

913
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 3: I had several overdoses.

914
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 1: The last one somebody said it was cocaine and it

915
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: was either ventanyl or or heroine, and I overdosed and

916
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: died and then well, I was intubated. I also went

917
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 1: into cardiac arrest and not all like so, yeah.

918
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 2: Well you're you're You're meant to be here, you know

919
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

920
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, definitely.

921
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 1: There's been four of them, and two very big car

922
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 1: accidents that I don't even know how I walked out

923
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: of twice.

924
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, she an only watched she got nine lives. That

925
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 3: would be like, yeah, so there's something more for me.

926
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 2: Did you experience death in sort of the typical sense

927
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 2: and how people say white light plastic surgery.

928
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: I did because I died on the operating table. It

929
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: was pink and purple. It wasn't white, but it's I

930
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: also did like it has a different for you.

931
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 5: It was like, I'm very he's.

932
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: Like my little pony was there to take me away

933
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 2: to accept heaven.

934
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 1: No, it was just very cloudy and beautiful and bright.

935
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 1: It wasn't white, but it was also just a voice.

936
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:47,280
Speaker 1: It wasn't anything like God didn't say hey Renee, nothing

937
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 1: like that. It was just a place of peace. And

938
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 1: then I recently did like eyebo gain. Do you know

939
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: what eyebo gain is? Plant medicine?

940
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 3: Plant medicine which kind eyebo gain is from.

941
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 2: It's it's not an iohuasca.

942
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: No, it's not ayahuasca. No, it's intervened. It's like a

943
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: twelve hour process.

944
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 2: It's not like the ketemine therapies that are going on.

945
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 2: There's MDMA therapies that are happening. I do ketty therapys

946
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 2: phil a cybin Oh really, my friend my friend did

947
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: many you know, appointments of ketamine therapy. Said it was incredible.

948
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 3: It is I I you know what I I needed.

949
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 3: I was crying every day that my father was dead.

950
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 1: I couldn't get over this death, and it brought me

951
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: to a place I haven't cried since. Like April, we

952
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 1: get a miracle, it is, it's a complete America. I

953
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 1: cried like on May fifth, the day pissed, but I

954
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: haven't cried every day. And for me, I came to

955
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 1: a place where I was able to let him go

956
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: with the notion that I will see you again. I

957
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: don't got to see you right now because that's where

958
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: my addiction took me.

959
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to be more with my dad than did

960
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 3: the year mm hmm. Yeah. And if you watch all

961
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 3: she cries every episode.

962
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 2: Oh really, I I'm a grite baby.

963
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: I'm very I'm gonna cancer.

964
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well you're clean, which is fucking great. And do

965
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,399
Speaker 2: you think this time you know what's going to keep

966
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 2: you clean? You know what I'm saying, Because you can

967
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 2: be cleaned for eight nine months, what's gonna keep What's

968
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 2: gonna keep you clean?

969
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 3: Every day is one day? For me.

970
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 2: I can't.

971
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 3: I can't. Nothing is promised. It would be really nice

972
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 3: if I could tell you the answer, but I can't. Yeah,

973
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 3: I have to wake up grandkids.

974
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: My grandkids are a huge part of me spending a

975
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 1: lot of time with them.

976
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 3: But I have to.

977
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 1: Wake up every day and just actually like who I am.

978
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 1: That's that's a huge reason why I self medicate, is

979
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 1: I I really.

980
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,800
Speaker 3: Don't always like me. A lot of guilt and shame.

981
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: You know, if you've ever heard an added story, they're

982
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 1: gonna tell you about the guilt and chain.

983
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

984
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 1: So I wake up every day with uh, with the

985
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: hopes that I that I'm going to.

986
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 3: Be needed by by my grandchildren and my son.

987
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: And knowing that I make him happy is really important

988
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,920
Speaker 1: because I know I stole a lot of his happiness.

989
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: You know, he has one parent, it's me, you know

990
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: what I mean, So let him be proud of at least.

991
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 3: One of us.

992
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: I love that. That's great, and and and is there

993
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 2: any addiction in your family other than you?

994
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 3: I believe so.

995
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: Uh.

996
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 3: I know my father was a gambler. My father, his

997
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 3: lifestyle in general is addiction. You're addicted to that.

998
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: But yeah, uh yeah, there's a lot of addiction my

999
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 1: father's side of the family.

1000
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1001
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1002
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't care if they're gonna kill me.

1003
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 2: Well, let's talk about your podcast, because now we gotta

1004
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: we got to get out of here soon. Rene. You

1005
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:52,760
Speaker 2: go first.

1006
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 1: It's called the Crisis Queen, and I am there. We

1007
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: talk about trauma, and I'm there to make light of

1008
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: your trauma, but to make your trauma feel lighter.

1009
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 2: I like that based on your experiences in trauma.

1010
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: She's a safe space that they can open up because

1011
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 1: she's literally been through everything including death. Yeah, you can't

1012
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: tell her who they're gonna tell really at the end,

1013
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna tell my body.

1014
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that because I think I

1015
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: think that's it's important, you know, and especially doing podcasts stuff,

1016
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 2: if you are open to your open with your experiences,

1017
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 2: you're allowing people then to open up themselves, you know

1018
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 2: what I mean. And I've noticed that just through my

1019
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: not just conversations with this show, but just in life.

1020
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: You know, I'm very open about my anxiety and that

1021
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: I've had for a million years in my childhood. And

1022
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 2: you know the other thing too is you know, people

1023
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 2: look at me or my sister and and if you

1024
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 2: talk about trauma or any sort of you know, issues

1025
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 2: in your life, immediately people are like, what the fuck

1026
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 2: do you have to worry about? You grew up, you know,

1027
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 2: with celebrity parents and bah blah. But that's just such bullshit,

1028
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like, we all have our pain,

1029
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 2: and we all have our traumas, and you know, it's

1030
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 2: important to talk about them, not just for yourself, but

1031
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:21,759
Speaker 2: allowing other people to not feel alone, not cerebraly. We

1032
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 2: all know we're not alone, but sometimes it can feel

1033
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: lonely in your pain and.

1034
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 3: Only is a bad place. That's a scary place.

1035
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, well that's when that's when shit can

1036
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: get really bad, you know what I mean. Yes, that's

1037
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: when you do something that you probably wouldn't do, but

1038
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 2: you get into such an you go into the doldrums

1039
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 2: where you're just like, oh fuck, what's the point. I've

1040
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 2: had dealt with anxiety, you know, for since I was

1041
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 2: in my twenties. I'm a lexapro and you know, it's

1042
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 2: totally manageable, but it rears its head. I've learned it,

1043
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 2: you But I went through something maybe three or four

1044
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 2: years ago where I would never kill myself because I

1045
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 2: just won't. But I understood why people would, you know

1046
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 2: what I mean? Yes, I would just be in such

1047
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 2: despair and sitting there and like, man, I get it

1048
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 2: because if this feeling was never to go away, how

1049
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: do you exist with it? You know what I mean?

1050
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 2: So it's I like what you're doing. I think that's great.

1051
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,800
Speaker 3: Thank you, and I would prey for you.

1052
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 2: Thanks, You're welcome, and I'll come on your show if

1053
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 2: you need me to do all so much awesome And

1054
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:34,839
Speaker 2: then Jene, what are you doing? Yeah?

1055
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: So, with this resurgence of everything mob because of the

1056
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: twentieth twenty fifth anniversary of Sopranos and all that, Mob

1057
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 1: Wives has a second run on Paramount.

1058
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 3: Plus and for each one.

1059
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 1: So when I was creating it, I couldn't like I

1060
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: was in it too much.

1061
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 3: I couldn't talk about it.

1062
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: So we're doing a podcast, which it's sort of like

1063
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 1: a mob Wise rewatch, going back watching the episodes in

1064
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: real time. I'm breaking it down behind the scenes and

1065
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 1: telling the truth about what's going on. So we're calling

1066
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: it straightened out podcast, which is a funny term, but

1067
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 1: we're straightening out the truth.

1068
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: Great, is it just you? Now?

1069
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 1: I have two co hosts that are kind of they're

1070
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 1: like TikTok sensations. They're younger and they're now experiencing mob

1071
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: Ways for the first time in their lives. So it's

1072
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: really cool to see how they're getting it from the

1073
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 1: because we, you know, we were off the air like

1074
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 1: seven eight years.

1075
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 3: Ago when they were younger. So now they're watching it

1076
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 3: for the first time.

1077
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: Oh that's fun. So you're getting fresh eyes on.

1078
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 3: It, exactly.

1079
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 2: That's great. Well, this has been great. I appreciate you

1080
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 2: guys for coming on and being as honest and truthful

1081
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 2: and fun and uh, I can't wait to see what

1082
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 2: you got going. I can't wait to hear your podcast

1083
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 2: and I can't wait jen to see what you got

1084
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 2: in the works. That sounds fun.

1085
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully. I mean it takes forever, you know that.

1086
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,800
Speaker 2: But no, no, it takes forever.

1087
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 3: It takes. Thank you.

1088
00:52:51,080 --> 00:53:00,080
Speaker 2: I appreciate you guys. How fascinating Jesus even more than

1089
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 2: anything else. You know, they're only three years apart. That's

1090
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 2: basically my sister and I, but they are so different,

1091
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 2: so different. You know, obviously you can see that they're

1092
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 2: sisters and they have that rapport, but they're just so different.

1093
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 2: So funny. One was like, fuck this, I want to

1094
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 2: be my own person. The other ones like, nah, nah,

1095
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 2: this is good. Anyway, that was fun. Let's get mobbed. Up.

1096
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: I'm mobbed up. I'm mobbed up. What are you gonna

1097
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:41,879
Speaker 2: do about it? All right, I'm gonna leave by