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Speaker 1: Order us a fresh show. Its courting, all right, the

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Speaker 1: honorable is here. Uh take it away, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into that here at this one says, hey,

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Speaker 2: KIKEI my name is Anthony. I just turned twenty one,

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Speaker 2: and I recently decided to leave my four year university

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Speaker 2: and move back home to try a trade school. I

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Speaker 2: thought my mom would be really disappointed, but surprisingly, she

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Speaker 2: was very supportive of my decision. My mom divorced my

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Speaker 2: stepdad a few months ago, and he left her to

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Speaker 2: raise my six year old twin sisters alone. Since I've

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Speaker 2: been back home, I've been helping babysit my sisters and

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Speaker 2: it's been working out great for my mom and saving

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Speaker 2: her a lot of money. Well, we just ran into

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Speaker 2: our first issue because after being unemployed for months, I

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Speaker 2: was excited to tell my mom that I landed a

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Speaker 2: job with a great company. To my surprise, my mom

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Speaker 2: never said congratulations, but instead said, oh great, Now, who's

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Speaker 2: gonna watch the girls?

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Speaker 3: Now? I feel horrible.

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Speaker 2: I start the job in two weeks and I am

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Speaker 2: now considering just declining the offer to stay home and

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Speaker 2: help my mom. She's been very rude and short with

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Speaker 2: me since I told her about the opportunity. But in

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Speaker 2: my defense, I am not the father of her kids.

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Speaker 2: This should not be my responsibility. What should I do?

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Speaker 2: This is her son, This is her son that's apparently

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Speaker 2: supposed to be keeping track of these kids. Wow, mom's off,

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Speaker 2: I mean, And now how much how much financial support

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Speaker 2: does she provided the son?

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Speaker 3: Well, he's living in her house. He moved home from college,

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Speaker 3: living in her.

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Speaker 4: House, paying for school too. Well, did you mention them?

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Speaker 2: He was supposed to start a trade school. But it

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Speaker 2: looks like he just lent is supposed to pay for

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Speaker 2: that though, do we know? I'm okay, yeah, huh.

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Speaker 1: I mean, but he has every right to go start

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Speaker 1: a life for himself, doesn't he.

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Speaker 2: That's what I say, I think, Anthony, in my opinion,

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Speaker 2: you are right, this is not your responsibility. You're being

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Speaker 2: a good big brother by helping your mom is obviously

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Speaker 2: helping you. You're living in her house at this point point.

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Speaker 2: But I just I feel like parents who should always

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Speaker 2: set their kids up for success. And I know she's

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Speaker 2: in a tough spot right now with the stepdad running

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Speaker 2: off and leaving her with the girls, But like SIS,

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Speaker 2: you have to find other options.

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Speaker 3: It's not his burden to take care of his sisters.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she's got to hold the stepdad.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you gotta hold somebody accountable because it's not

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Speaker 2: Anthony's responsibility. And I know how that may feel to him,

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Speaker 2: Like now he's not He's like maybe I'll just stay

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Speaker 2: home and help her, you know, Like you want to

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Speaker 2: help your parents in every way that you can't you can,

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Speaker 2: but their children are not your responsibility. I had people

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Speaker 2: in high school, friends in high school who were the

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Speaker 2: shout out to all the older siblings, like, if you're

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Speaker 2: the whole sibling, if you're the oldest in your family,

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Speaker 2: you are the strongest soldier. Because let me just tell you,

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Speaker 2: your parents had you nine times out of ten. They

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Speaker 2: don't know what they were doing. You know, you were

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Speaker 2: the experimental child and now you getting therapy. Yeah, the

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Speaker 2: responsibility of your siblings. Like my sister raised me, but

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Speaker 2: literally that was because my mom was like dead, you know,

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Speaker 2: she didn't have a choice. I just ended up on

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Speaker 2: her doorstep and she was an angel and took me in.

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Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, I was not

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Speaker 2: her responsibility. That I was really my father's responsibility. So like,

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Speaker 2: if you're able to help your parents by all means

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Speaker 2: help your parents, but you can't. You can't guilt trip

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Speaker 2: your son to take care of his sisters.

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Speaker 3: That's not right. Mm.

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Speaker 1: And it sounds like he's been helping out a lot

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Speaker 1: as it is. Yeah, so it's not like he hasn't

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Speaker 1: tried to step up, right, But he has every right

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Speaker 1: to go off and you know, do what he needs

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Speaker 1: to do to start his own life and grow his

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Speaker 1: own family and do his own thing. And I'm sure

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Speaker 1: he can still help out a little bit, but I mean, ultimately,

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Speaker 1: what's he supposed to do? Be their caregiver forever and

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Speaker 1: they never create a life for himself.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 5: It's hard because I feel like in a lot of

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Speaker 5: cultures too, the parents will make you feel guilty for

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Speaker 5: even leaving. You know, who's going to take care of

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Speaker 5: the rest of the kids, Who's going to take care

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Speaker 5: of me? You know, like like the parent will say,

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Speaker 5: you know, like mom and dad, they're getting older.

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Speaker 3: So I think that it's a really tough spot that she's.

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Speaker 5: In, like you said, Kiki, but you know, he's got

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Speaker 5: a what does it flap his wings spreading.

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Speaker 4: Out that house wings like Nellie said, drop down, get

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Speaker 4: your right.

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Speaker 3: He has to do what he's got to do.

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Speaker 4: But to friend's point, who was paying for school and

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Speaker 4: he was in school? And who was was going to

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Speaker 4: pay for the school he was going to go to?

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Speaker 3: But guess what did I have you? Or did you

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Speaker 3: have me?

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Speaker 4: I had you.

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Speaker 3: I'm the parent.

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Speaker 2: It's my responsibility to pay for your schooling. You're not

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Speaker 2: doing me a favor by supporting me through school. That's

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Speaker 2: that's what your job as a parent. You're not doing

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Speaker 2: me any favors. I'm sorry, I look at it that way,

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Speaker 2: like it's a you know, every parent is not able

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Speaker 2: to do it, but you are my parent, and so

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Speaker 2: if anybody's going to get me through school, it should

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Speaker 2: be you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there does come a point I think where you

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Speaker 1: do have to be I'm not gonna say it's full

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Speaker 1: circle moment, but there's definitely a time in life where

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Speaker 1: you have to be supportive of your parents because maybe

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Speaker 1: they're too old to care for them so or at

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Speaker 1: least at least watch over them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: But like, we are so far away from that, and

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Speaker 1: I hate when the parents try and and my mom

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Speaker 1: and dad didn't do this, and my adopted dad, I

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Speaker 1: didn't do this. But when they try and flip it

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Speaker 1: on you, like somehow as a kid you have you

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Speaker 1: have like equal obligation. It's like, no, I have an

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Speaker 1: obligation to be your son or daughter, and I have

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Speaker 1: an obligation and then go out and make the best

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Speaker 1: life I can for myself based on the way that

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Speaker 1: you've set me up, or to do better than I've done.

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Speaker 4: That's another thing.

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Speaker 1: Who's to say he doesn't go out get this, you know,

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Speaker 1: training and get a job and then he's able to

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Speaker 1: help out even more. Not that that's his burden, but

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Speaker 1: like again, you know, he's going out and try and

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Speaker 1: make a life for himself. He's trying to create a

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Speaker 1: career and a life and all these things. If he

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Speaker 1: stays in the house and watches his siblings all day,

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Speaker 1: then he's never going to have the opportunity to do that.

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Speaker 3: And that's not fair.

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Speaker 4: And he didn't make those kids.

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Speaker 3: He did not.

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Speaker 1: And so if you're going to get on anybody, it

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Speaker 1: should be the stepdad for being negligent, not the son

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Speaker 1: who has been trying all this time. It is now

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Speaker 1: like hey, I'm twenty one, let's go out and do something. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: eight five five five three five you guys at the

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Speaker 1: jury on Keicky's court along with us.

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Speaker 3: It's so sad.

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Speaker 2: I feel I really do feel bad for the mom

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Speaker 2: because I know she's in a tough spot. But like

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Speaker 2: I just hate when parents put their burdens on their children,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's just not fair.

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Speaker 5: Or when they try to tell you, like all I've

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Speaker 5: done for you, it's like you're on Perry.

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Speaker 3: What do you think sposed to do? I was gonna

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Speaker 3: wait my own butt. I didn't ask to be here,

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Speaker 3: thank you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean there's definitely I think.

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Speaker 1: You want to be grateful, you know, you want to

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Speaker 1: be helpful, of course, but you also they created you,

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Speaker 1: they brought you in and now you you know, there's

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Speaker 1: a time when you go out into the world and

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Speaker 1: then make a life for yourself. Yes, and yeah, maybe

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Speaker 1: someday full circle, it comes back years and years and

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Speaker 1: years from now where you kind of maybe go back

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Speaker 1: and help them in their later years, but not now,

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Speaker 1: and not with the kids that you didn't make in

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Speaker 1: the relationship that's defunct. That she probably needs to go

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Speaker 1: find that guy and say where's the money for the babysitters?

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Speaker 4: Or why aren't you involved?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Because yeah, I agree that's a whole other court case.

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Speaker 2: Come on there, Yeah, child sporty daddy, where is he?

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Speaker 1: You can call intact the same number eight five five

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Speaker 1: five one one three five going through somebody's text my boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: This is from Cassandra.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend's the oldest of four with two having a

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Speaker 1: twelve and thirteen year old age gap. He doesn't want

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Speaker 1: kids now because he had to take care of them

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Speaker 1: and change diapers as a teenager. He had to help

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Speaker 1: financially everything. It completely ruined his desire for a family.

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Speaker 1: He needs to take a job and start his career.

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Speaker 1: It's not fair. And yeah, it's not fair for the

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Speaker 1: mom to guilt him. School is irrelevant. Mom is responsible

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Speaker 1: for kids, not the siblings. Mom is wrong.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, school is irrelevant.

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Speaker 4: To pay for school.

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Speaker 1: Your parents do not need to pay for college. Last

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Speaker 1: born does more than you will ever know or think.

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Speaker 1: Firstborn may help with the young kids, but try taking

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Speaker 1: care of your older, aging, dying parents, because that is

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Speaker 1: the last born job.

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Speaker 2: Oh, they're saying, the baby of the family always gets

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Speaker 2: stuck with the parents.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I mean maybe, yeah, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: My younger brother's definitely taken on all.

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Speaker 1: The Yeah, does my sister expect me to do this

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Speaker 1: because she has kids. Probably I hey Caitlin, Hi, Hey,

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Speaker 1: good boys, you heard Keiky's court.

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Speaker 4: What do you think it is?

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Speaker 6: This is such a generational thought. It is not the

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Speaker 6: child's responsibility to raise their children. They are still a child,

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Speaker 6: they are still their parents' child. So at the end

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Speaker 6: of the day, regardless of you know, if you have

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Speaker 6: your younger siblings, of course you know you're going to

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Speaker 6: want to help out. You're going to want to hopefully

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Speaker 6: want to be there for your siblings. But it's not

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Speaker 6: that kid's responsibility to raise them. They have their own

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Speaker 6: lives to make. We want better for our children. We

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Speaker 6: want our children to have better than we had. And

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Speaker 6: if we keep putting this generational well, I brought you

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Speaker 6: into this world, and how are you going to help me?

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Speaker 6: Our children are never going.

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Speaker 3: To do better than us.

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Speaker 6: It's just a constant generational cycle that's going to keep repeating.

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Speaker 3: That's so true.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it's hard because she doesn't have a lot

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Speaker 1: of options and she trusts her son and all the

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Speaker 1: rest of it. But like he has every right to

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Speaker 1: go out. I've said it one hundred times in this segment.

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Speaker 1: He has every right to go out and create for himself,

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Speaker 1: and who knows, maybe someday he's able and maybe he's

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Speaker 1: able to help out a little bit, and maybe someday,

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Speaker 1: you know, it comes full circle once he creates a

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Speaker 1: life for himself. But like again, he's got to be

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Speaker 1: able to do that. Yep, yeah, thank you, have a

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Speaker 1: great job. He's got to take the job, Tony, Tony,

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Speaker 1: he's got to take the job.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yes, take the job.

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Speaker 4: It's hard to find good jobs down here, and it's

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Speaker 4: it's not his responsibility to it as the kids.

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Speaker 7: He can help the mom with the girls, but he

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Speaker 7: has to take that job.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too, And I don't know what

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Speaker 1: mom's going to do. But again, where's the deadbeat dad?

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Speaker 4: He don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they got to figure that out. But don't turn

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Speaker 3: down the job to babysit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gonna be an awkward household. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then like yeah, because now, like holidays are coming

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Speaker 2: up and if the mom is acting weird, she's been

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Speaker 2: very short with him in Ruin ever since he broke

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Speaker 2: the news.

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Speaker 3: That is not right. That's your key.

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Speaker 1: The mom is the grown up, the kid is the kids. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you should be excited job. You're right, Hey, Tony,

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Speaker 1: have a great day. Thank you for listening. Thanks time

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Speaker 1: a going my Thanks for being part of the thirteen.

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Speaker 4: We love you. Hey, Margot, good morning, Good morning missus.

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Speaker 6: Margot from Humble Park, Okay. And a single mom of

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Speaker 6: four kids who are now twenty three, twenty two, and

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Speaker 6: I have twins that are nineteenth and I did it

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Speaker 6: all on my own.

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Speaker 7: You know, there's many programs for the mom to get

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Speaker 7: here before she starts work doing work, So she shouldn't

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Speaker 7: put the burden on her son to give up a

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Speaker 7: good job to become a babysitter.

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Speaker 6: It doesn't work that way.

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Speaker 1: And you live this life and you managed to make

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Speaker 1: it work. And I'm sure you want your kids out

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Speaker 1: there now that they're growing up. I'm sure you want

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Speaker 1: them out there creating lives of their own and finding

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Speaker 1: success of their own. Yeah.

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Speaker 7: And I'm still paying for my daughter's school. She took

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Speaker 7: the music engineering and she graduated already in the payment

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Speaker 7: is more than a cardinal. Well here, I am still

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Speaker 7: tipping away in You're.

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Speaker 3: Doing amazing well.

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Speaker 1: Good for you. Yes, and thank you for calling him

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Speaker 1: for sharre And have a great day, Margo. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: listening to so you don't have to pay for this entertainment.

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Speaker 1: This is free, so you know, I mean, and you

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Speaker 1: can tell that it's free when you listen to it, exactly. So, Cassie,

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Speaker 1: do you know in the text a minute ago, Yes,

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Speaker 1: you texted me. So it's your boyfriend then, who basically

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Speaker 1: you feel like he doesn't even want a family now

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Speaker 1: because he puts so much energy into raising his younger siblings.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: So, I mean he you know, his mom is around

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Speaker 7: and everything like that, and she she was like a

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Speaker 7: nanny and stuff, and he had a step Dawn and everything.

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Speaker 7: And he actually has two step brothers too, so he's

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Speaker 7: the oldest of six technically. But yeah, so his two

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Speaker 7: youngest siblings are twelve and thirteen years younger. And so,

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Speaker 7: I mean he was a thirteen year old boy changing

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Speaker 7: diapers at you know, midnight, helping out and doing all

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Speaker 7: of these things, and financially as well. I mean, he

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Speaker 7: had to move back after college and you know, helped

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Speaker 7: out and with the house bills and the driving around

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Speaker 7: and this and that and everything and so and still

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Speaker 7: to this day he is the one that everyone goes to,

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Speaker 7: like she is always the one. So now he's kind

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Speaker 7: of at that point where he's like, I don't want kids,

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Speaker 7: I want my freedom. I didn't get it.

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Speaker 3: He feels like he's already raised kids.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like he already did this and that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's almost like reversed, right because as a

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Speaker 1: teenager he was doing this and now that he's a

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Speaker 1: grown up, he doesn't want to do it anymore. But

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you wanted to do it because you probably

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Speaker 1: want to get married and have a family, right, I.

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Speaker 7: Mean, yeah, it's definitely been a topic because we're actually

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Speaker 7: ten years apart, so I mean he's in his late

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Speaker 7: thirties now and I'm you know, in my late twenties,

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Speaker 7: and so it's definitely been a topic of like, okay,

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Speaker 7: so you know, is this a make it, break it

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Speaker 7: kind of deal because I haven't reached that point yet

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Speaker 7: where I've made that decision. But he's like a hard

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Speaker 7: like absolutely not not happening, and you know.

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Speaker 4: So definitely, yeah, you don't. You can have your own

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Speaker 4: damn segment have the same time tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: That's got to be hard, that's got to be So

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Speaker 1: when do you then, when do you, Cassie make the decision?

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, ultimatums never work, really, I mean, when

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Speaker 1: do you decide if this relationship is for you if

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Speaker 1: you have those goals and he maybe doesn't.

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Speaker 7: I mean to be honest, like, I absolutely love him,

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Speaker 7: and that's really to me. It could. It could be

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Speaker 7: either way for me, Like, if it happened, great, If not,

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Speaker 7: that's okay. I'm personally not like a huge kids person,

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Speaker 7: but I also know that that's different when you have

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Speaker 7: your own, so like, I think that's a whole that's

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Speaker 7: a whole different thing. But I love him more than

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Speaker 7: that's really important to me, so I think that ultimately

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Speaker 7: I'd rather just do with him than anything.

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Speaker 1: So well, well, thank you for sharing. I'm sure that's hard,

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Speaker 1: but we appreciate it and have a great day.

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Speaker 4: Thank you you too. Yeah, we'll see him stair go

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Speaker 4: here pretty soon.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a shout out to her forgiving him grace,

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Speaker 2: Like she understands that he's been through the trauma of

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Speaker 2: raising kids and now he doesn't want any.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just and I'm sure you know, they'll figure

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Speaker 1: it out. But I hope that she never comes later

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Speaker 1: to resent him, I know, because she sort of. I mean, kids,

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Speaker 1: we all make sacrifices, right, Like, you know, if we

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Speaker 1: love somebody enough, then we give up things. They give

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Speaker 1: up things and whatever. But that one is the one

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Speaker 1: that seems to sort of linger because I know people

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Speaker 1: who have met and said, okay, find no kids, and

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Speaker 1: they agree on that because one's really hardcore in one corner,

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Speaker 1: ones in the other, and it tends to resurface. It

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Speaker 1: tends to resurface years later once the relationship is intact,

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Speaker 1: and it can cause resentment on both sides because it's like, wait, minute,

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Speaker 1: we agreed on this. I told you it was okay

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Speaker 1: if you needed to go. But we agreed on this,

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Speaker 1: and then now here we are again. Yeah, and people

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Speaker 1: change their minds. But like, I don't know, but he

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Speaker 1: needs to take that job.

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Speaker 3: Right, Anthony, take the joboo, and we're gonna get mam,

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Speaker 3: gonna get it together.

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Speaker 7: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad you got right too. If we've been

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Speaker 1: making this man wait a month for this decision.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Anthony. Hopefully you took the job and go

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Speaker 2: to school

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Speaker 4: To Malan Strawberry