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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 1: All Right, everyone, welcome to another week of Wine Down.

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Speaker 1: How you doing, Cat good, how are you? I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I just got back from therapy. It was so good today. Good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. I mean, every day is good. I love

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Speaker 1: my therapist, but it was it was just really nice

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Speaker 1: because she gave me kind of like this list of

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Speaker 1: things to kind of look out for for like in

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Speaker 1: the dating world. And then when we were reading it's

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Speaker 1: basically like types of abusers, and I was like wow,

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Speaker 1: and you start to kind of think back on past

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Speaker 1: relationships and you just it's like, man, maybe I wasn't

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Speaker 1: like crazy, you know in certain relationships like red flags

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Speaker 1: to look for like when you're doing. It was just

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Speaker 1: it was, it was just it was I know, I know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll share it one time. It'd be fun to

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Speaker 1: have her back on for that. But so, I know,

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Speaker 1: last week we had, we had some fun. This week

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Speaker 1: it's kind of going in a different direction. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I I'm really really really proud of um what's about

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Speaker 1: to happen because um, first and foremost, we've got gig

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Speaker 1: on with us right now. Hi Gigi, Hello, So back

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Speaker 1: you're back, so Um, a lot of people felt I

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Speaker 1: mean not a lot of people. Everybody fell in love

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Speaker 1: with Gigi when we were in Connecticut. Gigi is um

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Speaker 1: she helps sit the kids, watch the kids whenever she's

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Speaker 1: home from L s U. And she was able to

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Speaker 1: come with me on set um for a few weeks

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Speaker 1: while I was filming the Holiday fix up, and people

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Speaker 1: just fell in love with you, Gigi, like in love

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Speaker 1: and you know it, you know it, Like people like

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Speaker 1: took a photo of you at the airport, didn't they? Yes,

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Speaker 1: But I was nervous from that happened. I was like,

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Speaker 1: are they are they taking a picture of me? And

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Speaker 1: it it was of me? But um. We ended up

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Speaker 1: sitting next to each other on the plane and she

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

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Speaker 1: I was just sending a picture of you to my

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Speaker 1: brother and I was like why, But as I think

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Speaker 1: what people loved about you and what I love about

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Speaker 1: you is your energy and you're just so fun and

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Speaker 1: you're just like you have like such an amazing spirit

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Speaker 1: and life to you. And but something happened in um Connecticut,

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Speaker 1: well yeah, New York, and that um you you texted

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Speaker 1: me I don't know, a few weeks ago and you

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Speaker 1: said that you wanted to talk about it. Yeah I know.

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Speaker 1: Um I texted you that I was going to write

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Speaker 1: a book and then you said you should come on

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Speaker 1: the podcast and I was like, yeah, that's probably a

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Speaker 1: good start, but um yes. So while we were in Connecticut, um,

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Speaker 1: I took a solo trip to New York and you know,

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Speaker 1: I ordered my cute little outfit like I was. I

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Speaker 1: was so excited to do it because you know, I'm nineteen.

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Speaker 1: Nineteen year olds think that they're really independent, but just

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Speaker 1: just hear me out. Um. So I went to the

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Speaker 1: train station. It was a Sunday, and I got on

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Speaker 1: a train to New York and I didn't really have

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Speaker 1: a plan for the day. I was just kind of

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Speaker 1: walking in literally all the stores that I could not

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Speaker 1: afford anything at, but I pretended like I could, a

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Speaker 1: little pretty woman actions yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It was

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Speaker 1: just to feel like important, like I did whatever. But

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Speaker 1: um so it's a really fun day. I faced times

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Speaker 1: all my friends from home. I was like, look where

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Speaker 1: I am. Whatever. So I went to a restaurant and

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Speaker 1: I was sitting by myself and it was, um, I

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Speaker 1: can't remember the name of it, but it was an

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Speaker 1: Italian restaurant. On look, I don't know exactly where it

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Speaker 1: was Lower Lower East or something like that. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was told way after the fact where it was.

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Speaker 1: But um, I went to dinner, UM met these two

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Speaker 1: really cute girls and they were like, yeah, like, let's

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Speaker 1: let's go out together. And I was like, okay, great,

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Speaker 1: Like they were super sweet, super cute, and we went

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Speaker 1: to um this bar. Um. I'm not gonna name drop

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Speaker 1: it just it doesn't add that much to the story.

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Speaker 1: But um, the last thing I remember was I was

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Speaker 1: at that bar and I woke up in a bed

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Speaker 1: with my contacts out. I did not have my contacts,

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Speaker 1: and I couldn't see anything. Um my parents were on

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Speaker 1: the other side of the room, and my shirt was

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Speaker 1: still on, and I got up out of the bed

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Speaker 1: and my purse is luckily next to me and my

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Speaker 1: phone still like thank god my phone still had battery

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Speaker 1: and my purse was next to me because I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I would have done if they weren't. So

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Speaker 1: I snuck out of the apartment and I couldn't see anything,

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Speaker 1: like I'm I don't have good eyes at all, Like

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Speaker 1: I can't see far away from me. So I I

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Speaker 1: saw someone, but they weren't They were in like the

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Speaker 1: other side of the apartment. I couldn't even like describe

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Speaker 1: the apartment layout to you. They were like literally in

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Speaker 1: this hallway at the back and their back was facing me.

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Speaker 1: So I snuck out of the apartment and I sprinted

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Speaker 1: down the hallway trying to find the elevator, trying to

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Speaker 1: find something. I just I could not, like, my head

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Speaker 1: was spinning. I didn't even think it was real life.

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Speaker 1: I can't explain to you the feeling of what I felt.

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Speaker 1: And I was in such a panic because I was

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Speaker 1: alone in a big city and I had no idea

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Speaker 1: what to do. So I called an uber and I

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Speaker 1: got in the uber and I was like, look, I

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Speaker 1: have to go back to Connecticut. Can you take me?

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Speaker 1: And he could tell that something bad had happened to

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Speaker 1: me because he was like, yeah, I can I go

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Speaker 1: to the bank and you can just pay me cash

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Speaker 1: for it. And I was like whatever, just like go, go,

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Speaker 1: like go, and he was like what happened? And I

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Speaker 1: was like I don't know. And he was like, were

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Speaker 1: you with someone? And I was like I don't know,

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Speaker 1: and like that thing, like everything after getting in the

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Speaker 1: uber like does not feel like real life, Like I

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Speaker 1: still can't believe this happened to me, and that like

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting here today talking about it. So I got

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Speaker 1: to the bank and I withdrew four dollars, which is

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Speaker 1: what he had asked me for, which is also just

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Speaker 1: so messed up in it of itself, because he had

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Speaker 1: already like he had clearly known what had happened. Like

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Speaker 1: I wasn't I wasn't coherent. There was nothing about me

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Speaker 1: that looked like I was okay in the slightest. I

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Speaker 1: started bawling crying the second I get in his car,

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Speaker 1: and like, I'm so blessed that I made it out

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Speaker 1: of the apartment. And I still don't know what had

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Speaker 1: happened to me at the apartment, like I know nothing.

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Speaker 1: And we're driving and I get on the phone with

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Speaker 1: one of my best friends from Nashville, and she can

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Speaker 1: clearly tell that I'm out of sorts. I'm not my

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Speaker 1: sentences aren't making sense. It's just very I sounded chaotic,

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Speaker 1: is how she explained it. She was like, you just

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Speaker 1: sounded like you didn't have anything put together. And it

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Speaker 1: was one in the morning in New York and I

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Speaker 1: was in a random uber. After I was great and um,

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Speaker 1: the uber took me to the nearest hospital, which was

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Speaker 1: thirty five minutes away from New York and forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes away from where I was staying. And it was

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Speaker 1: two in the morning, so nothing was open. I sent

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Speaker 1: Janna into a full on heart attack at two in

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Speaker 1: the morning. Um, my friends were not my friends. My

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Speaker 1: one friend that I had called was blowing up the

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Speaker 1: hospital phones and that sent me into a I don't

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Speaker 1: even know. When you were at the hospital, they they

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Speaker 1: they ran some labs on you and would remember we

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Speaker 1: said the police officer said to you the amount of

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Speaker 1: drugs that they put in your system. I should not

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Speaker 1: have made it out of the apartment or to the

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Speaker 1: hospital because it was a date rape drug that they

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Speaker 1: put in a drug I don't know the proper name

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Speaker 1: of it. Um, it's just generic roofy it is, I

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Speaker 1: don't know the name of it. And I and when

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Speaker 1: I talked to the nurse, UM, you know, there was

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Speaker 1: just like she's she had a high dose of rufie

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Speaker 1: and she's not coherent. Because when I got the call

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Speaker 1: it was at Yeah, I was somewhere between two in

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Speaker 1: the morning and I had to work at six am,

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Speaker 1: UM that next or that that day, and I was

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Speaker 1: I was supposed to be home at a loven so

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Speaker 1: you had thought that I had already been home. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: so anyways, so you find out, you know, the police

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Speaker 1: come in and talk to me, take my and go

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Speaker 1: through everything. I get as much information as they could. UM.

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Speaker 1: I had a rape kit test UM done on me,

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Speaker 1: which was UM. I was convinced at that point that

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Speaker 1: nothing had happened to me because I would not let

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Speaker 1: myself believe that I had just been raped. But fast forward,

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Speaker 1: because I the hospital experience, I just that's a lot,

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Speaker 1: that's super heavy, and I don't even know half of

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Speaker 1: what had happened. May because I finally got there and

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Speaker 1: I felt like I was safe m Um, somewhat safe,

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Speaker 1: I guess. But I made it home the next morning

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Speaker 1: at seven and I slept and then the kids came back,

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Speaker 1: and UM. Luckily I had some help by day, which

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Speaker 1: was really good. UM. But I felt so normal, and

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Speaker 1: then I started beating myself up for feeling normal about it.

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Speaker 1: But I knew I had a great support system. Everyone.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was there for me. UM. You know, my friends

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Speaker 1: were checking up on me like every hour, Like everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Like what do you need, Like how

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Speaker 1: can I help? Like do you need to go home?

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Speaker 1: I was like no, because I don't know what happened.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, Like there's no way to

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Speaker 1: cope with a trauma of that night and make it

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Speaker 1: feel real the next day, not like it didn't feel

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Speaker 1: real until weeks after. Because at the time I had

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Speaker 1: a boyfriend, and um, he was very much half of

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Speaker 1: my support system, which I've never been codependent on anyone

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Speaker 1: because just in my family situation and everything, I have

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Speaker 1: a lot going on in my life, a lot. Um.

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Speaker 1: Some people think I'm scatter brained. I am, but but

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Speaker 1: you're also going to last school and you have a

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Speaker 1: dad who has dementia or Alzheimer's and so like you

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Speaker 1: have a lot going on in your I have a

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Speaker 1: lot going on in my life. Like actually getting raped

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Speaker 1: alone in New York was the last thing that I

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Speaker 1: would have ever needed ever, Like I didn't need any

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Speaker 1: more stress anymore anything. So I you know, my support

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Speaker 1: system was big. My boyfriend ex boyfriend was a huge

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Speaker 1: part of it. UM, And then I get back to school.

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Speaker 1: He had flown out to Nashville the day that I

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Speaker 1: got back from Connecticut so that I, um didn't have

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Speaker 1: to be alone because I was with the kids, and

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Speaker 1: the kids made me feel a lot better, and I

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Speaker 1: was with Jano, so I was fine, Like everything was

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Speaker 1: fine for the most part. Well, I had asked you too,

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Speaker 1: and when that happened, I was like, look, I mean

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Speaker 1: at two in the morning, when I was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: I gotta get to work at six, like I obviously

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Speaker 1: wanted to be there for you, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I have to work too. So I called

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Speaker 1: my ex. I was calling, you know, I called. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm like, I don't know what to do,

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Speaker 1: like because it's like trying to be there for for you,

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Speaker 1: to support you, but also knowing I have to show

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Speaker 1: up to work with you know, both my kids and

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Speaker 1: I ended up confiding in one of the producers and

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Speaker 1: you know, she's like, just bring them and we will

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Speaker 1: figure it out. Um. And then when you when I

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Speaker 1: got back that day, I asked you. I was like,

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Speaker 1: what do you need because I will get you on

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Speaker 1: a flight today, Like do you do you want to stay?

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Speaker 1: Like I can have someone just I can fly someone

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Speaker 1: else into help, Like I don't even worry about me,

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Speaker 1: don't worry about the kids, don't I was like, I like,

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Speaker 1: I was just so focused on like what does g

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Speaker 1: G need? And you had said that You're like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not ready to face it. I'd like to stay for

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Speaker 1: a few more days. And I really battled with like,

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Speaker 1: I like, is that really what she like? But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I have to listen to what you know. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you would have done anything different

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Speaker 1: than that moment, Like I can't be like, no, you're

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Speaker 1: going home, because it's like, how am I to say

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Speaker 1: what you need? Right? But also it was like and

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Speaker 1: but the last I think it was like three days longer,

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Speaker 1: were super fun. I still felt normal. I didn't really

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Speaker 1: have you know, what can we can we bring Susan

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Speaker 1: and she's a trauma specialist therapist. I'd love to bring

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Speaker 1: her in um in continuous conversation. But first of all, Giugi, I,

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Speaker 1: I'm just so proud of you. Thank you. I'm really

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Speaker 1: proud of you for sharing your story because that takes

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Speaker 1: a lot of that's very brave of you to share it.

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Speaker 1: This I was really I was actually I didn't know

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Speaker 1: about today, Like I was kind of nervous coming into it,

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Speaker 1: but actually it kind of feels like a way it's

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Speaker 1: ben lifted off my shoulders and you're gonna help a

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Speaker 1: lot of people, I hope. So all right, let's bring

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Speaker 1: Susan and hey, Susan, Hi, how are you okay? Welcome

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Speaker 1: to wind down? Um? Janna, Catherine, Gigi Hi. Nice. So

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Speaker 1: we just well just shared with us very bravely her

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Speaker 1: story that happened in New York. Um, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we're just kind of talking about it now. And I

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Speaker 1: think one of the we wanted to bring you in

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Speaker 1: obviously because you're a trauma specialist. You're you know this

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Speaker 1: this world and all the emotions that go with it.

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Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that when when

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Speaker 1: everything happened in New York, um that feeling of like

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Speaker 1: should the person go straight to like like is it

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Speaker 1: okay to like not face it in that moment or

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Speaker 1: is that and then face it later on? You know that?

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Speaker 1: Or to like because she ended up staying a few

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Speaker 1: more days in Connecticut where I was filming, but like,

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Speaker 1: in hindsight, like what is it like? Is that is

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Speaker 1: that normal? To do that or is it something where

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Speaker 1: it's like when people are in that situation, like they

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Speaker 1: just have to go at their own pace. It's such

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Speaker 1: an important question, and I think that so many people

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Speaker 1: don't report for years and years and years simply because

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Speaker 1: they feel like they're going to be blamed for it

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Speaker 1: or they did something wrong and the stigma associated with that.

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Speaker 1: And so everyone's journey is going to be their own

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Speaker 1: journey and their own process. If you're talking about a

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Speaker 1: technical issue from a reporting perspective, from a criminal the

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Speaker 1: in criminal importance is usually it's important to go to

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Speaker 1: any er immediately in order to have a rape test

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Speaker 1: done in order to have any evidence, and that would

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Speaker 1: be if you don't take a shower um and go

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Speaker 1: straight to the R E. R. And there's there's advocates

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Speaker 1: there that can really help you through that process and

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Speaker 1: really talk you through kind of what that looks like.

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Speaker 1: So if someone is actually experienced a crime, that is

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Speaker 1: really the most important thing to do in order to

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Speaker 1: gather evidence. However, everyone is going to go through it differently,

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Speaker 1: and no two persons experiences the same and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean years later that you can't decide to change your

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Speaker 1: mind and make reporting or ten days or three days

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Speaker 1: or whatever it may be. Because this crime happened to you.

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Speaker 1: You were violated, and we all process trauma differently, and

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Speaker 1: no two people who are going to do with the

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Speaker 1: same I think one of the things, and then Gig,

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Speaker 1: I'll let you ask Susan some questions. But I think

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Speaker 1: what I was I was trying to like get help

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Speaker 1: for Gigi in that moment in Connecticut, and I wanted

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Speaker 1: her to connect to some people. But the one person

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Speaker 1: that I know had she's like, well, I didn't remember it,

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Speaker 1: and she's like and thank god. So everyone's like, well,

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Speaker 1: thank god she doesn't remember it. I'm like, but that's

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Speaker 1: even more of a violation, like not remembering what happened.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, Gi, like that must like hurt you too.

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Speaker 1: When people are like, well, I'm so glad you didn't

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Speaker 1: remember it, it's like, well that that to me, it

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Speaker 1: sounds just as traumatic to feel so violent that you

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Speaker 1: don't even know what happened to your body or what

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Speaker 1: you know. It was nice saving grace, um. I like,

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Speaker 1: had I not then drugged in the weirdest way, I

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Speaker 1: feel like it would have been that much more traumatic

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Speaker 1: for me. It's still a traumatic event. I wonder what

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Speaker 1: did happen to me? A lot. It's not every day anymore,

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Speaker 1: but it's a lot. But like I said, like nothing

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Speaker 1: felt real, nothing felt like anything had happened to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I went to the hospital immediately, I got the

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Speaker 1: rape kit done, but I didn't. I honestly didn't process

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Speaker 1: it until, um, I found out that my boyfriend at

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Speaker 1: the time had been with this girl all summer and

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Speaker 1: that night, right before I had faced time to him

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Speaker 1: from the er, he had been with her. That's when

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Speaker 1: literally everything this was a couple of weeks ago, that's

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Speaker 1: when literally everything hit me like a bus. Like I

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Speaker 1: was having panic attacks every four hours. I could not sleep,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't I was in a terrible, terrible spot solely

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Speaker 1: because mhm, my security blanket of the whole situation, like

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Speaker 1: it was kind of a trauma bomb, like that got

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Speaker 1: taken away from me, and then I was kind of

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Speaker 1: left by myself. I don't know, and i've I've never

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Speaker 1: um called it a crime. What language did you use

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Speaker 1: that that you feels right for you? Um, just that

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Speaker 1: I was raped. Mhmm. Yeah. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: sharing your story and your bravery to share in this

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Speaker 1: public way too, because oftentimes people are silenced and for

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Speaker 1: you to step forward really gives other people the courage

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Speaker 1: that they can talk about their own stories too. And

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Speaker 1: one in six women in the United States have experienced

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Speaker 1: the same thing that you've gone through too as well.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's your language, your story, the way

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Speaker 1: that you want to tell it, what kind of what

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Speaker 1: parts of it you want to share, what parts you don't.

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Speaker 1: This is all about you taking back your power. Now

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Speaker 1: what does she do with that? Like, because when like

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Speaker 1: the feeling of that that bond with her ex and

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Speaker 1: now being feeling now the PTSD of the rape is

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Speaker 1: now even now she's like feeling all of that. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, how does she deal with that? Because I

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Speaker 1: would say I would say that that part of it

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Speaker 1: um lasted about two weeks, but like the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: was that, like he chose to be with someone else

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Speaker 1: over the summer, the entire summer. We had been dating

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Speaker 1: for five months. I did not have a choice, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it killed me. I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: didn't have a choice and he did and he still

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Speaker 1: did that. And that's honestly probably the only reason that

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Speaker 1: I'm not still with him, but I don't I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think often times when people friends or even family

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Speaker 1: are trying to support someone who's been through a rape

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Speaker 1: or sexual assault or a crime, and that they don't

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Speaker 1: know what to do. They don't know what to say,

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Speaker 1: they don't know how to act, they don't know how

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Speaker 1: to be. Sort of and consciously or unconsciously, they sort

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Speaker 1: of avoid because they don't know how to say. What's

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Speaker 1: going to help you get through your PTSD or the

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Speaker 1: trauma or all the other mental health symptoms that you

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Speaker 1: sort of mentioned, the hyper vigilance, that not being able

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Speaker 1: to sleep. I don't know if you're starting to get

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Speaker 1: memories back or flashbacks or anything like that, but that

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Speaker 1: is also really compounds the trauma as well, because you

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Speaker 1: feel so alone in that process and feel like, how

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Speaker 1: do I trust or can I keep myself safe? Or

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Speaker 1: am I safe? Those questions keep coming up, and it

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Speaker 1: sounds like that was a little bit of your experience

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Speaker 1: that your ex boyfriend was that support for you, that

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Speaker 1: you felt safe with him and you felt like you

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Speaker 1: could share what was going on, and then to have

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Speaker 1: that taken away is really really challenging, and I would

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Speaker 1: really suggest for you to get into there's so many

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Speaker 1: amazing free services if you're in law, so angels, every

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Speaker 1: crisis center in Santa Monica is incredible, or other places

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Speaker 1: around the United States that have all different types of

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Speaker 1: groups or individual therapy. And I've been I've been in

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Speaker 1: therapy for five years, so the therapy aspect of it

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Speaker 1: was totally covered. Like I'm I'm really good at being

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Speaker 1: emotionally mindful, I would say, just from previous traumas, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: but now I'm I'm definitely in a step towards the

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Speaker 1: right direction. I feel better. I'm not weighted down by

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Speaker 1: my security blanket that could have been a weighted blanket

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Speaker 1: in a lot of ways. Um, you know most of

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Speaker 1: my friends know about it. Um my mom has held

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Speaker 1: me through all of it. Sisters, every like everyone's helped

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00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 1: me like build my foundation of like emotional security through myself.

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Speaker 1: Like I have emotional security through myself now and I

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00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: have that foundation back. So let's definitely step in the

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00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: right direction. And I feel a lot better. And um,

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Speaker 1: it's not as hard to talk about. It's still hard,

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00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: but I can do it. And you're bravely doing it

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Speaker 1: now too. And I think the important thing that oftentimes

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Speaker 1: I just want to remind you that often when people

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Speaker 1: have been raped or they've experienced an assault, that they

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00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,719
Speaker 1: feel like they're never going to be themselves again and

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00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: everything has been taken away from them. But the amazing

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00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: thing about our bodies and our brain is that we

397
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: have this tremendous ability to rewire our brain after trauma

398
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: and to heal, and you will have a beautiful relationship

399
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 1: in the future. You will have a beautiful life and

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00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: in your future. And as you said, you've been through

401
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: some things before that have been challenging that you know

402
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 1: you're going to get to the other side of this

403
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: and start feeling the way that you want to. It's

404
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: going to take work in commitment, and it sounds like

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00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: you have a tremendous support community that's really helping you

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00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 1: through it day by day, because it's going to change.

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00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: One day you could feel amazing and the next day

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00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: you may get triggered and something kind of derails you

409
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: a little bit. But just keep staying mindful in your

410
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:23,199
Speaker 1: recovery and really allowing your body and your brain to

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00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: start to heal and getting back into to feel whole again.

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Speaker 1: That way she was really important, and I think that's

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Speaker 1: good for everyone because anyone who has, you know, some

414
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: kind of traumatic experience that's happened to him or just um, like,

415
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,479
Speaker 1: what do you do in those moments when that trigger

416
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: does come up, because that's you know, you don't want

417
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: it to take over, but at the same time, you

418
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: you have to like let it go through your body

419
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: and feel it. Right, you know, emotions are just predictions

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00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: for action to take. And so when we've had something

421
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: happened to us that's been traumatic, we get triggered with

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00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: a scent or smell or a you know, a vision

423
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: of something. We all gets imprinted through our our senses.

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00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: So when we get triggered, all of a sudden, it

425
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: takes us back to that moment and then we start

426
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: to relive it again in that moment as it's as

427
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 1: if it's happening now and our body and that's what

428
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 1: becomes so terrifying is because we get disregulated and all

429
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: of a sudden, it's like, oh my gosh, this is

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00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 1: happening right now. How do I make this stop? This

431
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: is overwhelming, But our mind knows it's not happening. So

432
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: it's sort of this sort of trick that happens within

433
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: our body and our brain. But the important thing to

434
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 1: do is to really use skills to calm down your

435
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: nervous system and those emotions in that moment, because we

436
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: can get sort of carried away with that and allow

437
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: ourselves to get more and more disregulated to the point

438
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: that it really starts to create all kinds of dysfunction

439
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,479
Speaker 1: in our lives. So I know it sounds really simple,

440
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: but really the power of the breath and I really

441
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: feel like it's super important to actually breathe through our

442
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: hearts because that's a tremendously grounding practice of actually just

443
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: inhaling through our nose and then exhaling out as if

444
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: it's coming out of your heart. And really, what the

445
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: important thing is to do is always have this shorter

446
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: inhale than the exhale, because the exhale actually allows your

447
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 1: blood flow to your heart to decrease, which actually decreases

448
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: your anxiety and stress. And that's a way for us

449
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,120
Speaker 1: to trick what's called the amygdala in our brain, which

450
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: is sort of the alarm system when something has gone

451
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: wrong and what we feel in danger um but other

452
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: things too, of being out in nature, calling a friend, uh,

453
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: going for a walk. Actually, that bilateral stimulation of actually

454
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: walking is tremendously calming on our nervous system. Anything that

455
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: can sort of bring joy, because when we have a

456
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,919
Speaker 1: negative emotion and experience, we can trick our brains and

457
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: our bodies by actually pulling to something that's really positive

458
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 1: like pet petting a puppy, or calling your best friend

459
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: or getting out in sunshine, and that can decrease all

460
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: those feelings and emotions of stress in our bodies in

461
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: the now and make us feel a lot more calm. Gig,

462
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: is there an area where you feel, not unless it's stuck,

463
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: but that where it's still um like it's whether it's

464
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: a question or a fear or a doubt that you're

465
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,479
Speaker 1: still um And it could be about your ex too,

466
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: that you feel kind of like heavy in um it's

467
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: all heavy, But is there something where it's still like

468
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: it's it's still bit like, it's it's harder than others. Honestly,

469
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: it was a three week breakup for me and finally

470
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: when I got the closure and we ended on good terms,

471
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: um Like, finally when I got the closure and he

472
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: got the closure, And now it's been a few weeks

473
00:28:51,640 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 1: since we've talked. I feel so much better because I'm

474
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: moving on, and I feel like moving on independently is

475
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: a lot more strong willed per se and I could

476
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: actually feel the emotions from the trauma and work through them.

477
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: And so now I'm in a really good place. Um,

478
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: and I'm really invested in school. And you know, why

479
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: did you want to share your story? Because I I

480
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: don't know, because it just I mean, hopefully I can

481
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: help another person, but it's like I'm not broken anymore.

482
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: You can. I mean, part of me probablyly won't ever

483
00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: be fully pieced back together, but I'm certainly not broken.

484
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm capable of doing anything. And you don't have to

485
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: like look down on trauma as this almost disability. And

486
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: if I can't get out of bed one day, respect it,

487
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: because we're all going through our own things and you

488
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: could be going through the worst thing in your life

489
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: and I could be going through the worst thing in

490
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: mind and they're not comparable at all, and my reaction

491
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: may be way different than nerrors. So seriously, don't look

492
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: down on someone just because they're going through stuff. Like

493
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna do everything that I was going to

494
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: do before this, before the breakup before everything, like, honestly,

495
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: I loved my boyfriend so much and I still do

496
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: love him, but not in the same way. And I'm

497
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: ready to move on. I'm ready to start new relationships.

498
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: And I don't know, it's just like there's so much

499
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: to unpack, but you know I've already. I don't know.

500
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: You've said so many beautiful things and that statement, and

501
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: the one thing that I really want to remind you is, yes,

502
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: the pieces are never going to go back the same

503
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: as they were before. They're going to be different. But

504
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: in this moment, you sharing your truth and you stepping

505
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: out and normalizing trauma because it happens to every single

506
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: one of us, and after this pandemic, it has to

507
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: happen to every single one of us. That you're really

508
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: being an advocate for other people to say that I'm

509
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,959
Speaker 1: not broken, I'm not defective, I'm not anything. I'm just

510
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 1: me and I'm going through my process and this is

511
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: going to allow you to get to the other side

512
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 1: of something so much more beautiful and stronger. And I

513
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: really commend you for stepping forward and using this platform

514
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: to share your narrative in a story that so many

515
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: women and men can relate to and it really hopefully

516
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: it's going to make you feel stronger because of that.

517
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: And you're right, every day is going to be different.

518
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: And just honor that in your own process and know

519
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: what's going to make you feel a little bit better

520
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: and stronger and use those tools and skills and not

521
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: allow the trauma to just keep happening to you, but

522
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: for you to feel more agency and control. I do

523
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: want to ask you a question to how do you

524
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: how does someone not let that define them any through

525
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: anything that's happened, whether it's divorce or abuse or any

526
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: situation that can be Um that would that one would

527
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: feel um yeah they yeah, please. I Like everyone goes

528
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: through their own adversities, okay, and we all come together

529
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: in group therapy like you talk about it. I've never

530
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: been a group therapy, but like you talk in a

531
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: collective group and you see how similar everyone's experiences are

532
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: and how they can help help you through what you're

533
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: going through. And that's part of the reason I wanted

534
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: to come on today and share. And like, my situation

535
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: was one situation, You're like, other people's situations might be

536
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: that much worse or that much more controlling of their thoughts,

537
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: their actions, there everything, But it doesn't matter. If we

538
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: can relate in some sort of way, we could help

539
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: each other, like we build off of each other, and

540
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: I would not Nothing defines me. The d s M

541
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,239
Speaker 1: five is literally, for those of you that don't know,

542
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: it's the diagnostic book for um psychological disorders, although um

543
00:33:53,800 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: most of them aren't disorders. They're all UM induced as

544
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: some sort of trauma UM. The ds IN five is

545
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: essentially a way for pharmaceutical companies to put their brand

546
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: into a category. Well, I'm so sick of being in

547
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: a category, like nothing can define me, Like I'm just

548
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: Gig that's my real name on my birth or to Bigot,

549
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: that's just who I am and labels. I don't care

550
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 1: what you have, anxiety, depression, bipolar, PTSD, UM, insomnia, whatever

551
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: you have, I don't care. Like that doesn't define you,

552
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: That doesn't change you. And if you have PTSD from

553
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 1: an incident, that doesn't define you either. Why would you

554
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 1: let your PTSD take control of you when you can

555
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: navigate through these motions and work through your experiences using

556
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: other people's experiences to walk out on the end just

557
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: knowing you're the name on your birth certificate and that

558
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: you don't have to fit any mold or category or

559
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: diagnosis right absolutely, And I think you get to live

560
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: a joyful life no matter what's happened in your past.

561
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: It's that's something that's so important. But I think often

562
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: times that people are afraid of letting go of their

563
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 1: trauma or the definition of things because they're unsure of

564
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: what is going to happen on the other side of that.

565
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: So if I identify or over identify as someone that's

566
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: gone through something particular, like you mentioned divorce or a breakup,

567
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: and then letting go of that and healing and processing

568
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: the trauma and the experience of that, there's fear. And

569
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: fear is what oftentimes keeps us in the labels or

570
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 1: keeps us stuck and sort of telling that same narrative

571
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: over and over again, because we're wired for story and

572
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: stories are a beginning, middle, and ment and off, and

573
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: times we get stuck in that in between. Yeah. And

574
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 1: actually I saw something um because I follow this person

575
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: on Instagram, the Narcissist Survivor, and they said oversharing is

576
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: a trauma response, And for some reason it just hit

577
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 1: me so hard because I'm like, man, I'm like, yes,

578
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: I've definitely overshared with my um life and um, you

579
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: know the abuse that I've had, and but I'm also

580
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just that just like hit me

581
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: because I was like wow, I'm like, I never looked

582
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 1: at it as a trauma response. Well, I think that

583
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: you have to look. There's there's a spectrum of everything,

584
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: and I don't want you to read something and then

585
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: assume that you're the one that's contributing to that. I

586
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: think that what happens is is when people can't read

587
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: the experience of someone else. So if you and I

588
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: are having a conversation and you're telling me every single

589
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: detail of something that happened, that's really horrific, and your

590
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 1: nervous system is affecting my nervous system and I'm getting

591
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: really flooded by your narrative of and you're not aware

592
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: of it, and you're just keep going on and on

593
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: because you're not regulated in your own system. Right, that

594
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: would be worthy. Over sharing would really sort of affect

595
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: another human and dis regulate them. Like if you've ever

596
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: been with someone you felt exhausted after being with them

597
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: because they talk so much, or they whatever, whatever, happened.

598
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: So I think be mindful of keep sharing your story

599
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 1: and connecting with people on a real human way and

600
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: being authentic because that's you and and people really have

601
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: to be vulnerable to connect and feel the depths of

602
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: love and connection with one another. That's what makes this human.

603
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 1: So there's a very big difference between traumatizing someone and

604
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:46,240
Speaker 1: oversharing that way and and really just connecting. Well, Susan,

605
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough for coming on the show.

606
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 1: Where can our listeners find you on Instagram? On that

607
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: Susan zen Z I n ND Therapy, and also my

608
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: website is Susan zin Therapy And actually have a book

609
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: out this week. I's called The Empiphanies Projects and it

610
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: just hit five best selling categories and they're all about

611
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 1: moments of people overcoming adversity and trauma. And so definitely

612
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: make sure to check that out because there's a lot

613
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 1: of healing stories in that then hopefully will be helpful

614
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: for you to I love that well. Thank you so much, Susan,

615
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 1: appreciate you coming on line down, Thank you, thank you

616
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: for everything you're doing. How you feeling bad? I just

617
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: like I just want to make it abundantly clear that

618
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:56,800
Speaker 1: like I am okay, I'm not I'm not still stuck

619
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: in my last relationship. And I hope, I hope that

620
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: this is not in the wrong message out to anyone.

621
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: It could be pursuing me or um. But like, I'm

622
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 1: really okay, and it's okay if you weren't okay, and

623
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 1: it's okay that you I wasn't for a minute. I

624
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 1: feel like you're a little hesitant to say you're okay

625
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: because I feel like people will hear this and then

626
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, oh my god, like she's got

627
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: some stuff going on, Like like you feel like you

628
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:47,240
Speaker 1: shouldn't be okay, right but I am. In this moment

629
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: you are and that's amazing. And tomorrow you might not

630
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: and tomorrow you might eat. You might never like you know,

631
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: and it's like you you're going to go through days.

632
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: But that's amazing that you're okay right now, that's amazing

633
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 1: and that should be celebrated. And you're doing your work

634
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: that you've got your head screwed on. You know you're

635
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: not going to go back to you now you know

636
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: the flags of a cheater and when you're not going

637
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: to go back there, No, I'm really excited for a

638
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: healthy relationship, good and someone that actually respects me and

639
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,399
Speaker 1: my body as much as I'm learning to respect it.

640
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: I have a new like, I have a totally new

641
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 1: outlook on dating. That was my first boyfriend and your

642
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 1: nineteen I told her. I was like, let me just

643
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: write don't I'm gonna be I'm gonna be your big

644
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: sister and be like, just don't do any of these

645
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 1: things and then you won't end up like me, Like

646
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 1: you know, well, I divorce something. I called you. I

647
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: called you literally five minutes after I found out. I

648
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: was like, Janna, we were right, Like we had suspicions

649
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 1: over the listen to your gut, but look, a nineteen

650
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: year old gut and the thirty seven year old gut

651
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: is the same gut as a fifteen year old and

652
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 1: a moment not maybe who knows in an eight year

653
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 1: old Our girl, listen your gut. You know we're all

654
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: the same women's intuition exactly, so superpower and I'm so

655
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: proud of you, and I love you. Thank you, I

656
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: love you too, And I'm gonna we're gonna have you

657
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: back on sometime in the next few months, and we're

658
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: gonna have a really fun like catch up bungig, what's

659
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: going on in the dating world of the nineteen year old?

660
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 1: Because we love spicy g She's fun. Maybe we'll have

661
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: some updates by then. Have my um grubbed this weekend,

662
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to see me. That means, is

663
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: that like a story because you know me and story stuff.

664
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I just want to be your

665
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: big sis. That's about it. Well, guess what I'll be

666
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: back in Nashville, Uh next week. Perfect, We'll see you then.

667
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: I love you, but thanks for coming on wind then

668
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: I love you too, Thank you so much. Okay bye.

669
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 1: I love her. She's like the smartest nineteen year old time.

670
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: I know, she's literally she's literally Elwoods like, she's she's

671
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: gonna go to Harvard like law like, and she's and

672
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: she is the smartest I mean she is. Her IQ

673
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 1: is insane. Oh yeah, that's surprised me. Like she's so

674
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: smart and she's beautiful, she's modeled like, I mean, she's

675
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: literally Elwoods. But I think what was what was so

676
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: sad to like witness was I mean, she and anyone

677
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: that followed me during the Connecticut she was just her

678
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 1: light and how fun she is. And I remember the

679
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: next day just being like her light was taken away

680
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: and it like that like broke me to see and

681
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: it was you know, Ryan obviously knew, and the one

682
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: producer and we kind of we a little power out

683
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: and it was just like so sad because we were

684
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 1: like we loo like we lost the spark of Gigi

685
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: and it's like seeing that come back now has been

686
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. And I'm really proud of her for

687
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: sharing her story and um, yeah you're you're not alone.

688
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: So um, I hope y'all have a good week and

689
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: hope this out saying Luke