WEBVTT - Self Love 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:04.760 Welcome to the women while Now podcast, You guys, be Girl, 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:12.600 anybody girl pretty, Welcome to the women While and Out podcast. 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:17.840 These guys are the ladies while and Out control. They 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:23.480 get show. Hello ladies tonight, we're gonna have the women 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:28.360 a while in our podcasts on the car, Welcome back 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:30.840 to the women while in that podcast you guys podcasts 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:34.400 podcast where we control the mic. We got our drinks 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:36.720 and we are gonna toast. And it's four of us 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:39.400 in a building. This is the first episode of all 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.360 of us together than second. Now second, just say it. 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:49.200 Don't talk about that. Well, this is I'm your girl, 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:54.120 Patt CV be small Angelique here a C. What does Brett? 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.360 What do you mean? Like Bree T A C. My 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:02.680 last name, her last name Italian TC. That's the last name. Yeah, 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:06.040 I thought it was initial. So the T A C 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:07.920 that's how you say it. But it's T I E 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:12.520 s I oh t A C. That's we're thinking of 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:21.959 tank oh I Like you wouldn't a an Italian last name, 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:26.960 but d A cut with that? Who's the god mom M? 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.200 I gotta think I don't know. You have so many 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:34.360 close friends and and you have a lot of close 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:37.520 friends too. I know the guy Mama baby Megan, I exactly. 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:38.880 I don't have that yet because I have so many 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.840 close friends. Yeah, so think about it deep and who 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:49.960 has the most money? All right, So we're going listen, 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:54.760 we're gonna kick this show off. Always do a toast, 0:01:55.040 --> 0:02:01.440 So who's gonna do the toast? Free? You got it? Okay, 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:05.480 let me let me think. You know, I hate these moments. Guys, 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.440 go ahead, I had, but I would do with mine 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:19.119 at the end, the roundup toast. I don't know, guys, 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:25.519 toast us. I love y'all podcast. We got so much coming, 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.960 like so much, so much in store, so much in store, 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:33.679 and I'm gonna add to that my um. I could 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:35.960 say this at the end, okay, real quick. My dad 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:37.720 used always tell me. Because I had a conversation with 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:39.079 my dad recently and I was like, why did you 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:40.200 tell me this? Why did you tell me that? He 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:42.600 was like, well, I told you, but in a simple way, 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:44.320 he was like, when you any time you leave the house, 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:46.720 I used to always tell you to think. That's all 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:48.760 he would say. He wouldn't have no, don't do this 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.400 as a boy. He wouldn't don't drink. He would just 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:54.239 be like, think before you do something. Think, like basically, 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:57.920 your heart and your intuition and your yourself will let 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.120 you know what's right and wrong. So just think when 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.680 you make decisions. Think before you do something. Think before 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:06.800 you speak out of character. Just think. I think, especially 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:11.000 in moments of anger because usually those kinds of emotions 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:13.560 um take you to a place that you don't want 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.880 to be, and then you do things that you regret 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:19.639 and it's harder to undo than to avoid. So, like 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.079 in jamaicause, prevention is better than cure. So you want 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.000 to prevent rather than trying to figure out and fix 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.880 it at the end. And it's dope because think before 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:35.400 you sleep with your best friends, you know, um the thing, 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:38.880 before you let your back down on his twin bed, 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:44.080 Think your legs. That's that's I love your daddy for that. 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:48.080 That is not what the that's what he was saying. 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.680 It's think because if you didn't think about it, then 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:54.640 you know some people thinking still do it. Yeah, so 0:03:54.880 --> 0:04:00.760 think before you sleep with your best oh boy friends, homeboy, 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:05.400 or your ex homeboy, your ex best friend homeboy, what's 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:09.760 up your ex best friends, your ex best friends or 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.839 your home girl. No, my if I had a friend. 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:16.480 I'm saying if I had an ex boyfriends best friends. Yeah, okay, 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:21.320 I'm saying I ain't do that. What's letting you know 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:25.680 who the fun is? Harreek? Yeah? Want you go to 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:32.760 school together today. We're gonna do a few topics. We're 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:35.520 gonna the juicy jar. Well you know, I mean, I 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:40.040 do it. What's the name of the jar? This is 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:42.480 the juice bar the wild' not juice by where we 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:46.800 have all these juice jar juice jar. So we have 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:52.600 all these scenarios in here, questions, truth um in here. 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.039 So let's pick one up. I like to dig deep, 0:04:56.800 --> 0:05:03.640 dig deep. Do believe colorism is the real thing? Absolutely, 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:07.440 absolutely absolutely. We can't ignore it. We can't ignore the facts. 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:11.040 We're still evolving, we're still growing. Um, the world. When 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:13.279 I say we, I mean the world in general. And yes, 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.520 I do believe colorism is. Do you think do you 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:20.080 believe it's taught and not? That's lightly just well you know, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.360 some people think like it's just like, oh, this is 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:26.279 how we are and don't realize like it stems from 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:31.680 a deeper place. Yeah, taught. We're gonna say, oh you 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.240 just it's yeah, yeah, you don't just come out of 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.120 the wound. Even when you look at kids and you 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.400 see stuff they don't. They don't see that. Yeah, and 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:42.160 that's that innocence. You only know that because it's instilled. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:45.560 There's something you're hearing. It's around your skin color. You're 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.640 this you just make up and be like I don't 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:52.560 like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's unlike crazy, especially coming from Jamaica. 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:57.720 So we didn't see colors, and we saw classism, but 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.320 we didn't care about your skin as on us in 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.760 your brain you're smart, like, we didn't care what you 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:06.000 looked like or so I really experienced that when I 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.680 moved to the US. How old do you when you 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:12.000 moved here? I was seventeen, okay, yeah, so I went 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.280 through my entire life in Jamaica and then coming to 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.360 see that here, it was just a big eye open. 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:23.800 What's your opinion on me? Baby? Go out and bring 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:30.280 me that switch? What that switch? Think about it? Um? 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:41.600 For me? Um? It's crazy. I mean, like like Brees said, 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:45.400 it's you don't wake up with hating your heart. You 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:47.960 don't wake up pointing fingers and I'm gonna do this 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:51.000 because how you look or the color your skin. So 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:54.520 it's really what's taught in your home or your upbringing. 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.720 So it could be your surroundings though, because sometimes you know, 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.279 especially in a single parent household, the parent isn't present 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.320 a lot, and so you know, the kids either at 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:06.480 their friend's house or after school activities, so you know, 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:09.000 you gather a lot unabsorble a lot from that type 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:15.560 of environment as well. We'll be right back after this 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:23.120 swing a while in our podcast Welcome back everyone as 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:26.120 a woman of while in our podcast where we control 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:30.600 the mic, we were talking about some juicy information before 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.600 you know it colors from is Real and you know, 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:37.680 had a I think good conversation on it. Conversation. Yeah, 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:42.520 so we're just gonna continue with different topics and just 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:50.520 we have topped up the jar of surprises, the juice jar. 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.040 But before we pull out another one at the juice jar, 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.120 I'm actually going to hand it down to y'all. Okay, perfect, 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.440 But Beana has a topic that she wanted to say. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:06.800 Bless you, bless you. It's something on you, b because 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:09.320 I had not come in here. Sneeze. You've been sneezing 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:14.320 all day, okay, so you know, um, just you know, 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.840 riding in the van, getting our day started in the morning, 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.600 and you know, these topics came to my spirit and 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:23.000 I just wanted to talk to my girls about it 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.760 and just see you out. You know I feel about it. 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:30.120 But loving yourself first, and I say that because a 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:32.959 man can't heal your trauma. Um And what do you 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.200 guys think about that? When I say loving yourself first, 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:36.320 I don't even think it has to do with a man. 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:39.520 I think has with your mom, your family, your friends, 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.040 whether it's a man, whoever. You know. I feel like 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.480 a lot of people live for other people. Even I'm 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.439 going to college for my parents. I hate hearing that 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:48.839 I hate her, and that what is in your heart, 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:50.280 in your spirit. I'm not telling anybody to just drop 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:52.720 out of college, but anything you do in your life, 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.719 if you're doing it for other people, you will never 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.079 be happy. And that comes with self love. Once you 0:08:57.240 --> 0:08:59.079 love yourself first, there are certain things you won't put 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.920 up with. There's things you're just not gonna do. Like 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:04.120 my grand able to Atlanta, Georgia. She was like, come 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.079 on home. No, I had to leave my family to 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.640 follow my dreams and put myself first, whether your grandmother, 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.920 your sister, or whatever. So loving yourself first comes with 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.920 not disappointing, but you know, not living for other people. 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.760 Well that's the thing. So like when you love yourself, 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.680 you actually are able to learn a lot about yourself. 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.240 Things you like, things you don't like. So if somebody 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:29.160 comes into your life real quick, you know, you just know, 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.000 as you said, red flags, you get to show it 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.520 real quinstantly you know yourself. You're like, Okay, I put 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:36.120 myself in this position or I've learned this about myself. 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:38.839 If I do this, I know it's going to end bad. 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.320 So if you make that decision, anything that comes after 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.600 that it's on you. So like when you go through 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:48.679 that process of loving yourself, I think you also become 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:52.360 more peaceful. So when you're peaceful, you're better for other 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:55.720 people better and you're not happy and or at peace, 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:59.319 you're always trying to make other people happy, and energy 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.719 is going to over into everything that you do and 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.360 everyone that you contact with. But also if you have patterns, 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.080 you're attracting the same things, it's easier to reconniver. Sure. 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:10.599 I mean I go about just saying like this, like 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:13.199 I said before, shout out to my mentor for just 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:16.920 you know, sharing her um her experience in this industry, 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.120 and if she wasn't happy, then she just really felt 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.240 like she couldn't be happy with just around other people 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.960 and just for people because she had to like give 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.520 sent to herself and it's not going good for me. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:28.559 And I can't show you the hundred percent me right now, 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.199 so I gotta close in which we all do that 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.000 as humans. Sometimes we don't. We don't want to pick 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:34.920 up the phone, we don't want to talk because we're 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:36.640 not in a good place. And I think loving yourself 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.640 is like one of my things I'm doing now, like 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.319 just to love by our party, loving myself, loving Divana, 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:46.640 Eric Excel, loving Pretty v love and ving loving the CEO, 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.599 loving just loving the comedian, like just loving me and 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.960 just knowing me all over again. And when I say 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.480 can a man heal your trauma, A lot of women 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.280 you know, tend to, you know, be comfortable in that 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.440 because they really feel like, well, I got daddy issues. 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.880 I'm gonna run on and John because John showed me 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:03.480 how to live. But then John beating you up, or 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:05.720 John doing this, so John do that, or John talking 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:08.000 down or you don't. That's not love, that's actually fear. 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:12.719 That's actually tormoil. That's depression, that's anxiety. You know, that's 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:16.319 a lot that's manipulating, controlling, and they don't love themselves. 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:21.839 They constant domino effect. If you don't heal and break 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:23.800 those curses, like we talked about before, it's going to 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:25.760 happen to the next generation, in the next generation, in 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.880 the next generation of you know, it's just not gonna 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.480 stop until you stop in your tracks and heal from 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:34.599 your trauma. I think that it's our responsibility to, like 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:38.880 before we have kids and trust these things. When that 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:41.160 baby pops out, you have no time. You have to 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.839 give yourself to that being whatever you are exactly, so 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:47.240 you have to be really you have to think twice 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:50.559 maybe five times, and decide, you know, I might at 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.040 a place in my life where if another human being 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:58.400 mirrors my life? What life that like? What you're looking at? 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.880 Because I have a girlfriend that's like, oh girl, she's 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:05.040 just like me. I'm like, is that good? I don't know. 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.000 She's like I see things and she's like even like 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:10.480 hand movements and certain things she does, and she was 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.199 like I really started working on that. You know, she 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.920 wasn't even conscious of it, which is crazy and she's 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:21.000 cute when she's too Oh, she just out and I 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.920 think too is what you see when you um when 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.959 you're young. I mean I've watched getting you know, just 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.319 being young people that was just abusive and just different 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:31.880 things and you just find it to be loved Like 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.120 I want to make that's aggressive, Like I want that 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.160 type of talk. I want somebody to put me in check. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:38.520 And I and I spoke to this guy one day. 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.239 My girlfriend was with me and he was just so positive. 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:43.320 He was just telling me all the things I wanted 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:45.360 to hear. And I was like this. I was like, 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.679 what are you? I said, oh my god, why And 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:53.760 she's like, girl, please take your toxic as right, Like girl, 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:59.560 like this person right the toxicity of it. So that's 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.679 why I was like, you're right, you know, let me 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:03.640 switch some things up because that's all you know, or 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.719 that's all you feel like that's what love is. But 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:07.640 I'm here to tell you, baby, that's not what love is. 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.200 That's going to say something. You're gonna have headaches, the mind, 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:13.600 grain pills gonna run out. Girl, You're gonna be overthinking 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:15.200 how many how many times you're gonna go to bar 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.480 as a noble to read about your mind when you 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.800 can hear it first, and that's by loving yourself. So 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:21.400 that's why I want to top on, you know, go 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.880 on that subject to talk about loving yourself first, that 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:25.679 a man cannot hear your trauma. I've never dated a 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.480 man to heal me. I've never I've probably dated a 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.280 man to just make sure, like just love on me 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.000 for a quick second, but I have never dated him 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:34.880 to heal me. I've never dated him to give me 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.640 something because I could do it myself and I've been 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:42.400 doing it stuff. Yeah, um, well, I think we should 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.920 get into another question to say that it was a 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:51.439 great topic. I must say I'm scared of this. I 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.719 feel like they've been pretty good. Yeah, I'm waiting for 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:56.480 one of those like wild one. I got a question 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:02.080 that's talking about about it. Yeah, the question of the day. 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:08.000 Would you ever date a mama's boy? So I would it? 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.000 Just all right? So I read a book and it 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:14.400 basically I was teaching me about masculine feminine. So it's 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:18.880 not anything about gender. It's more like traits. So masculine 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:25.040 has like a direction um, purpose driven protection providing and 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.040 sometimes you know, in the household, especially if it's a 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.400 single household, you get more of one of the you know, 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:35.400 one of the traits. So it just depends on if 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:39.240 he's been able to build up his masculinity with a 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:43.680 strong femininity around him. That is the determinant for everything. 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:47.760 In my opinion, I feel like mama boys are great. 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:50.520 I've had the best experience. I feel like there's so 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.680 much more loving and compassionate, and they like think and 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.480 they're more cautious of their actions and the respectful to 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.000 women and just things that you're like okay, hey, I'm okay, 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:03.480 I want you around my family, or if I had 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:05.360 a daughter, I could trust you in that space. Like 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.240 there's such a I feel like they're so different. Mama's 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.320 boys like mama's I've never dealt with the Mama's boy 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:17.680 that was overdid it? Mama? Now? You know? Definitely almost? 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:21.000 But yeah, I mean I got two times that thing. 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.280 I mean, it could be very much. Mamma is Mamma Dad, 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:27.120 Mamma is Shirlett is shut d you say, you say 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:34.280 Shirley Mama's name, this, this, this, that, And then it 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.760 could be one that's like you know, like I live 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.000 on the down and you know, sometimes to be your 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.200 mama got to approve this. Mama got to be on 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.160 a tax form. I gotta be on the house. But 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:50.520 you have like mama did, what about me? You gotta 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.520 call your MoMA because we got an argument. Let's talk 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.000 about it. Yeah, you know, mama did, so it could 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.040 go both ways. Now it's cute, but sometimes it's overdoing it. 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:00.920 Mama gotta I gotta check mom. Like man cut friend, 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:03.960 Why don't you call me to see But what arguments? 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.160 Do you call your mom like and let her know 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:10.120 about to do? Yeah? Yeah, but it's a difference. Sometimes 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.200 we get it. And it's just like when you when 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:15.200 you form a union and it's you and him. It's 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:16.840 you and him here. Now if you feel like you 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.440 got to go outside to get another opinion, cool, but 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.400 don't have me Sureley calling my phone like I just 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.040 talked to my husband. I love you. This is me 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:30.280 and this is me and um John, don't call him. 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:33.520 I don't this John boy. I'm just writing our names. 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.520 So what about this like um group type living, you know, 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.680 like village because in the village, it's like you have 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:44.160 your elders for the advice for um, you know, just 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:48.440 guiding you through certain situations as long as it's not 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:51.440 too overdone, right, I totally believe in the village. But 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:55.560 what people don't understand is we're not even that close. Right. 0:16:56.040 --> 0:17:01.000 Anything that I do in this vicinity, in this nasty 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:09.520 anything some way it was like it was I think 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:14.120 it was art, then my toe and my shop. Someone 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:22.480 like me when I'm next, She's like that bunyan against 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:27.960 my nose. It was right here, did you come back up? Look? 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.960 It was not it was never like that. It was 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.480 never like that. It was never it was like, right, 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:42.400 how about you give me to look at girls? But yeah, 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.680 everything that you do in a y of people, it 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:50.800 affect affects something that pisces now off and now is 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:52.840 a producer, and he said something to naked Now Nick 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:54.960 is your boss. It went down a trickle effect, and 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.880 now it affects Crystal. So you have to watch out 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.560 what you do. It takes a village. Just like if 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:02.480 I mean to talking to a boo. You got your 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.760 little boo and he do something, it's going to affect 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.840 me because I'm one of your close friends. It's gonna 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.159 affect her mood, it's gonna affect her how her day 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:11.240 goes and I'm with her today, so that's gonna affect me. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.199 It could even affect me if I like cross your 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.520 path at the wrong time and then I get the 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:18.560 wrong impression. So it's like it takes a village. So 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.800 everybody affects everybody, and people have to understand that you're 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:25.320 not just living for yourself and affecting yourself, you affect 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.600 everybody around you. So but I do think it takes 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:30.200 a village to rage his child. My puppy is not 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.560 with me right now, and he is at school, yes, 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:37.000 and we're peen at a daddy house. Everything's good. I 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:44.199 spoke n this morning, so good. Who's his daddy? Ronnie? 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.400 Personal life? Do we make time for a personal life? 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:53.680 You don't remember, Ronnie were high school together. I don't. 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:57.640 I don't. You got show a picture? Okay, personal life? 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.000 Personal life? Do we make time for that? Well, what's 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.600 your definition of personal life? Because like I feel like 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.119 as an entrepreneur, your personal and business are kind of 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:11.280 in day line, and especially because what do you take 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.359 time for you? Because I have to self care is 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:17.320 if I'm not taken care of, like, I can't do 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:21.440 my best. So I think that even though sometimes we think, hey, 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.119 I could use this five minutes to work, But when 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.480 are you going to take five minutes for yourself? Because 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:31.520 if you burn out like that, you're replaced, So you 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:36.680 it's better that you just maintain a consistency self love, 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:40.040 self care, and when you have a whole village on 0:19:40.119 --> 0:19:43.720 your back, you gotta take care of your family businesses. 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:46.119 You're gonna need that time. I just started doing that 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.720 back um last year November when I had COVID, I 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.159 would take care of myself. Like after COVID, like, I 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:55.280 was like, December, I'm gonna figure things out. January came, 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:58.160 I was like, I took moments off, like the weekends, 0:19:58.200 --> 0:19:59.840 and I don't want to be bothered if I told 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:01.280 my manager, if I can't do it, I'm not gonna 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:04.160 do it. February came, I was like, okay. March came. 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.480 We went to Cancoon, but it was work, so I 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.680 was there relaxed. So to me, I didn't know the 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.920 importance of mental health. Um, you know how how deep 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:16.200 that word is now, because when you hear mental health, 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:20.000 you hear a straight jacket. Here, su what's sad? But 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:22.480 it's crazy this But it's not all about that. It 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:25.840 could be overthinking. It could be anxiety depression for that, 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:28.960 like you work out, you take your meditation, Like what 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.119 is it? I googled um when I had COVID, and 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:35.080 I said, what do I do when I'm overthinking? How 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.440 can I relax my mind? Um? One? We are known 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:41.840 as Christians, you know from me, I run to the 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:44.560 word first, or my mom since she's my pastor. But 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:47.040 I to think about it. I said, my mom has 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:51.000 she's she's she's done her moments in her life. She's 0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:53.119 she's a pastor, she who she is. But what about me, 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:55.680 the one that has to entertain people, that has to 0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:58.680 be on a hundred every day or maybe people laugh? 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:02.439 So I need to figure out a routine during COVID. 0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:05.000 When it happened back in March, first person I called 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:07.800 with Charlemagne and I said, Charlotte, like I'm already thinking, 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.840 I mean, dag were gonna be out of work, but 0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:13.840 not knowing, like once you're tied into other businesses like 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:16.600 stores that's closing, then you're closed, you know, if you 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:18.480 have to figure out how you gonna make your money. 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:20.760 So what I came up with, I pray right and 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.600 I create. So I used to pray, write my thoughts 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.159 down right what I see for myself? How can I 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:29.520 get these goals done? And I create them? So that's yeah. 0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:31.479 So that's when I found out I could do all 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:34.280 this ship in my house. Just because it's over for 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:36.560 not over boat. Just because we're on the stands it 0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:39.000 right now doesn't mean I can't beat myself. So that's 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:41.920 how I started to like get myself together mentally. But 0:21:42.119 --> 0:21:45.159 also I found the trainer pretty fit j and we 0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:47.320 was working out, but we I fell off because I 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:49.359 got so busy again the world stout of slowly but 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:53.119 surely open it back up. So the workout does help, 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:58.800 you know, Reading girls help reading writing your devotions in 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:00.960 the morning, sometimes I go back to it. Sometimes I 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:03.479 just look at something that I wrote down. Shout out 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.520 to my assist Karashif vote and beautiful. This is a 0:22:06.600 --> 0:22:08.920 book I only read a couple of little pages, but 0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:11.040 only the woman got made you to be like. That 0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:13.560 helps too, because when you have someone that has been 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:15.320 through what you've been through and they could write about it, 0:22:15.359 --> 0:22:18.040 I think that's dope. So you could. I'm reading me, 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.359 you know, um, So that's what helped me and healed 0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:24.240 me actually, and I'm still healing. You know, um, we 0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:26.600 do have long hollers when you when you have COVID. 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:29.320