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Speaker 1: I let my brother and his family move in after

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Speaker 1: they lost his house, but now I'm kicking them out.

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Speaker 1: I thirty six male, am a single father to my

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Speaker 1: two kids, who will call Gabriel seventeen male and Becky

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Speaker 1: fourteen female their mother slash. My wife passed away eight

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Speaker 1: years ago after a long, long illness. Obviously this was

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Speaker 1: devastating for a family and we're still recovering from a

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Speaker 1: loss even now. I haven't remarried or even bothered seriously

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Speaker 1: dating since my wife's death, as I don't think I'll

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Speaker 1: ever love anyone like I did her ever again. I

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Speaker 1: miss her dearly, but I'm also content being signal if

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Speaker 1: she's not around. Also relevant to this post, the house

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Speaker 1: that we live in currently originally belonged to my wife's grandfather.

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Speaker 1: Now she inherited the house when her grandfather passed away,

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Speaker 1: and then she left it to me in her will.

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Speaker 1: It's a nice house, quite large, with five bedrooms and

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Speaker 1: a decent amount of land as well. And this comes

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Speaker 1: from Worried Dad twenty three ninety four from the arslash

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime subreddit. I also have a younger half brother

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Speaker 1: who will call James thirty mail James and I share

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Speaker 1: a father, but have different mothers. To be honest, we've

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Speaker 1: never been particularly close. Not to get into irrelevant details,

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Speaker 1: but our upbringings and our respective relationships with our father

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Speaker 1: are very different, and it's always been a source of

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Speaker 1: quite a lot of tension between the two of us. However,

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Speaker 1: at the end of last year, James suffered from a

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Speaker 1: pretty severe series of misfortunes. So the company that he's

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Speaker 1: working for when under meaning that he ended up losing

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Speaker 1: his job, and since he works in quite a specialized

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Speaker 1: and competitive field where jobs are few and far in

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Speaker 1: between in the first place, he was having a really

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Speaker 1: difficult time finding another one. He was the sole earner

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Speaker 1: for his family, so obviously this is quite a blow

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Speaker 1: for them. Several weeks after that, they experienced a house fire,

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Speaker 1: which left the family homeless and destroyed a lot of

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Speaker 1: their belongings. Despite not being close at all, I obviously

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Speaker 1: didn't want to see my family suffer in this way,

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Speaker 1: and since I had the room to do so, I

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Speaker 1: offered for James and his family to come stay at

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Speaker 1: my home until they were able to get back on

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Speaker 1: the field. This meant that living in our house was

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Speaker 1: as follows. Myself, my two kids, James, his wife Laura,

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Speaker 1: and their twins Abby and Sarah, both nine females. It

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Speaker 1: became apparent very shortly after they moved in that we

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Speaker 1: have very different lifestyles.

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Speaker 2: And perspectives on things.

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Speaker 1: Simply put, James and Laura consider themselves more of a

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Speaker 1: traditional couple, which is why James is the sole earner

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Speaker 1: for their households. They both believe that it is a

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Speaker 1: man's duty to go out and work while the wife

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Speaker 1: stays at home and tends to the house and the children.

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Speaker 1: This is how they are raising their daughters. Let me

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Speaker 1: be clear. If they want to live this way and

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Speaker 1: it works for them, then more power to them.

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Speaker 2: They're well within their rights to do so. However, that's

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Speaker 2: not how I run my household.

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Speaker 1: Daddy's home and he said, not a traditional household.

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Speaker 2: A nuclear family about to go poom, Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Both of my kids have always been taught to do

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Speaker 1: the housework, and both have been actively encouraged to pursue

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Speaker 1: whatever careers.

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Speaker 2: They want in the future.

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Speaker 1: I was aware of our lifestyle differences before they moved in, However,

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Speaker 1: I had not been anticipating it becomes any issue of

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Speaker 1: any sorts. However, Around a month into them living with us,

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Speaker 1: I noticed that James and Laura were starting to try

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Speaker 1: and push their ways into my family. For example, on

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Speaker 1: nights when it was Gabriel's turn to do the dishes,

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Speaker 1: Laura would tell him he shouldn't be doing that and

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Speaker 1: would ask one of her own daughters to do it,

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Speaker 1: or suggested Becky, his Opie's daughter, take it over instead.

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Speaker 2: He's getting a little misogynistic over here.

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Speaker 3: It's all fun and games until you got to take

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Speaker 3: the trash out. Because he's gonna have to take up

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Speaker 3: the Trashill said, dude's duty or Weedy or Lanmowen. He's

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Speaker 3: gonna be complaining. Then on the roof there's a leak

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Speaker 3: on the roof. Dude, I'm just saying, like he's gonna

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, this is great. But then when it's

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Speaker 3: like his turn to do the duty, he's not gonna

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Speaker 3: like it if they keep going down this route.

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Speaker 1: I also noticed that James developed a habit of asking

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Speaker 1: Becky to do things for him that he was perfectly

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Speaker 1: capable of doing himself, such as getting him a drink

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Speaker 1: while everyone was watching TV together, or asking her to

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Speaker 1: clean up a mess that he made. I always shut

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Speaker 1: down this behavior when it happened, and eventually sat James

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Speaker 1: and Laura down one night and told them that they're

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Speaker 1: perfectly welcome to live how they want when they have

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Speaker 1: their own home, but this is the way we do

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Speaker 1: things in my house, and I would appreciate it if

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Speaker 1: they would stick to that while under my roof. They

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Speaker 1: did try to push back a little, but I held firm.

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Speaker 2: And they eventually relented really quick.

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Speaker 1: I've never understood the people that can like like you're

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Speaker 1: in someone else's home or like in a position something

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Speaker 1: like that, and you are imposing your way of things

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Speaker 1: on someone.

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Speaker 2: I think the issue is like when someone is in

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Speaker 2: your house for months, they kind of regress to whatever

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Speaker 2: their default mode is, and so it's like maybe they're

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Speaker 2: like not applying it, but it's going to be I

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Speaker 2: feel like it's like their nature's going to come out.

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Speaker 1: This is now a compulsory force of habit. Well, for

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Speaker 1: the next few months, everything seemed fun. There were a

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Speaker 1: couple of instances where Gabriel and James knocked heads over

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Speaker 1: differences on opinion, but it was never anything serious and

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Speaker 1: never went further than a couple of heated discussions over

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Speaker 1: the breakfast table. I was also aware that Becky had

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Speaker 1: found Abby and Sarah a bit annoying because they always

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Speaker 1: wanted to be in a room or around her. Again,

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Speaker 1: this was nothing major, as this was a very typical

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Speaker 1: teenager sharing the house with younger kids type of stuff. Now,

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Speaker 1: in late July of this year, James had finally found

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Speaker 1: another job in his field, and they began the process

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Speaker 1: of finding a new home of their own. All seemed great. Peaches,

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Speaker 1: sunshine and rainbows. It's so so beautiful, lots and lots

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Speaker 1: and lots of cream, so much cream in these dirty,

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Speaker 1: filthy peaches, and it's gonna go so well wrong. However,

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Speaker 1: around that same time, I noticed there's a sort of

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Speaker 1: shift and energy between Gabriel and Laura. He seemed to

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Speaker 1: suddenly be quite uncomfortable around her, never wanted to be

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Speaker 1: alone with her, and avoided talking to her in group settings.

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Speaker 1: This immediately struck me as odd because he's usually a

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Speaker 1: very laid back and friendly kid, so I asked him

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Speaker 1: if anything had happened. At first, he said that nothing

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Speaker 1: had and that she was just being the way she

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Speaker 1: is and it was getting on his nerves. By that,

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Speaker 1: I assumed that she'd started pushing this idea that as

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Speaker 1: a man, he shouldn't be doing domestic later of any

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Speaker 1: kind on him.

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Speaker 2: Again.

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Speaker 1: I contemplated saying something at the time, but decided to

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Speaker 1: leave it as they knew they'd be moving out.

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Speaker 2: Soon and it wouldn't be a problem anymore.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward a few weeks, James, Laura, and their kids

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Speaker 1: go out for the day. My daughter approaches me and

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Speaker 1: says she has something important to tell me that might

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Speaker 1: make me upset. I asked her what was up, and

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Speaker 1: she told me that Laura had told her the reason

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Speaker 1: I haven't remarried or gotten a new girlfriend yet is

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Speaker 1: because women my age don't want to settle for someone

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Speaker 1: who isn't a real man.

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Speaker 2: Bro, this real man about to kick you out of

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Speaker 2: my house. Yup, you about to be homeless. I'm about

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Speaker 2: to be a real man with a real house, which

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Speaker 2: you don't have. They're literally living in this place out

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Speaker 2: of the kindness of Ope's heart. And now they're like,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, yeah, but no, he's not mad at it.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: And had made a joke that my wife was probably

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Speaker 1: having an affair before she died. Anyways, what this guy

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Speaker 1: is like? I love my wife so much. I'd rather

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Speaker 1: just be a single, great father to my kids. I'm

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Speaker 1: not even gonna bother dating around. I'm gonna give my

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Speaker 1: half brother and his family this house, even though you know.

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Speaker 2: Dude wrapping all over his body.

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Speaker 1: I think she has some internalized like, yeah, she's jealous.

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Speaker 1: I think she's got some internalized little self hate.

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Speaker 2: I might be preaching pretty hard. That's crazy. I'm appalled.

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Speaker 2: What possesses you to say that.

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Speaker 1: Becky Opie's daughter, also said that Laura told her that

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Speaker 1: I was jealous of my brother because he earned everything

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Speaker 1: he had, while this house was just a handout.

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Speaker 2: But why did your brother not get it? Maybe it's

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Speaker 2: because OPI is the golden child and earned it from

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Speaker 2: not being a massive douche like say you're jealous without

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Speaker 2: saying you're jealous, Like, oh, he's jealous of just not

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Speaker 2: getting any handouts, Like yeah, yeah, Like he's super jealous

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Speaker 2: of his brother that doesn't have the house but earned

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Speaker 2: everything he got, which is what, Like what did this

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Speaker 2: brother earn? Like they're literally staying with Opie, they have nothing.

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Speaker 1: He's probably so much of his identity is wrap around like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I provide for my family, I do this and like,

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Speaker 1: granted he did get like fired in his house caught

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Speaker 1: on fire as well, so that sucks, Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: that is terrible. He's letting his insecurities of this idea

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Speaker 1: of like, oh, like I was a real man and

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Speaker 1: do it all said blah blah blah. It's like it's like, bro,

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Speaker 1: look terrible things happened to you. It's okay, Like, don't

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Speaker 1: put all this crap on. Oh pe, who's doing you

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Speaker 1: the biggest solid of all time?

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Speaker 2: Well, I bite the hand that feeds you.

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Speaker 1: But guys, there's more to this conversation. So notes aside

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Speaker 1: from inheriting the house, I also have worked for everything

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Speaker 1: I've ever had, and again, like, look at the way

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Speaker 1: he inherited the house, like conflating it to a handout

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Speaker 1: is so ridiculous and just emotionally evil, And that she

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Speaker 1: feels sorry for Gabriel the Sun because I'm going to

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Speaker 1: turn him into a.

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Speaker 2: Like me, like really just going in and in and

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Speaker 2: in and in, like there's no coming back from this.

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Speaker 1: Obviously, I was furious at this alone, but I wanted

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Speaker 1: to also speak to my son before I anything further,

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Speaker 1: to find out if anything else had been said to

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Speaker 1: him as well, When I asked him, I found out

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Speaker 1: that Laura had not only made the same jokes to him,

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Speaker 1: but she had offered to hire a spicy sleep worker

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Speaker 1: for his eighteenth birthday so that way he.

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Speaker 2: Could quote unquote become a man.

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Speaker 1: Gabriel isn't into girls, and when he told her that,

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Speaker 1: she just laughed it off and told them he'll learn

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Speaker 1: to be. No, okay, it's not like that, Kansas. This

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Speaker 1: is not the female diddy. She just says crazy stuff.

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Speaker 2: Dude. James and Laura are in for the kicking outing

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Speaker 2: of a lifetime. I can't wait for them to get

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Speaker 2: their come uppance. I cannot wait. It's gonna be glorious.

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Speaker 1: You kick out the family, or kick out laura parents,

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Speaker 1: only her whole family?

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Speaker 2: Parents only kick out the parents.

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Speaker 1: When James and Laura returned to the house, I immediately

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Speaker 1: confronted her about this. She didn't deny any of it,

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Speaker 1: but just started laughing and saying it was all a

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Speaker 1: joke and I needed to lighten up.

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Speaker 2: I told her that not only did I not.

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Speaker 1: Find it funny, but she was no longer welcome in

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Speaker 1: my house if that's how she was gonna speak to

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Speaker 1: my children. And then I wanted either an earnest apology or.

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Speaker 2: For her to leave. That night.

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Speaker 1: They were both outraged at this, continually telling me to

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Speaker 1: lighten up and get a sense of humor. I told

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Speaker 1: him that it wasn't funny at all and gave them

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Speaker 1: the same ultimatum, apologize and mean it, or Laura has

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Speaker 1: to leave. I made it clear that she was the

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Speaker 1: one I had an issue with, and that James and

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Speaker 1: their twins could stay if they wanted to.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so that's what they did. Yeah, so they are like, okay,

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Speaker 2: kick out the parents, but not the whole family.

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Speaker 1: But I didn't want to ear in my house anymore

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Speaker 1: if that's what she felt was appropriate.

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Speaker 2: That night, they packed their.

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Speaker 1: Stuff up and the whole family went to an airbnb

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Speaker 1: where they stayed for a couple of weeks until they

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Speaker 1: were able to move in to their new place. By

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Speaker 1: the way, we can move into our live stream every

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Speaker 1: weekday at three pm PST click the profile. So our

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Speaker 1: family has been split on this. Our father is taking

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Speaker 1: James side, which isn't shocking at all loll though. Surprisingly,

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Speaker 1: James's mother has reached out to me and acknowledged what

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Speaker 1: Laura said was inappropriate, and she understands why I'm upset.

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Speaker 1: To not understand why she would be upset is just

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Speaker 1: absolute insanity. Though she thinks I overreacted, the two of

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Speaker 1: them have been very much dramatizing the story about how

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Speaker 1: I threw them out in the middle of the night

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Speaker 1: for no reason. They left her on seven pm and

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Speaker 1: went straight to the Airbnb, so in a lot of

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Speaker 1: their friend's eyes, I am the villain in the scenario.

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Speaker 1: I know what I did was right for me and

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Speaker 1: my children, but I'm catching an awful lot of flak

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Speaker 1: for it, and it's starting to take a bit of

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Speaker 1: a toll. Mostly, I just can't wait for it to

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Speaker 1: be over. Thank you for letting me vent about this.

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Speaker 1: It felt really good to get it off my chest.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad Opie is kicking out the right people.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I think the husband was of the same mindset

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Speaker 1: as well, So good riddance. You can't come in to

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Speaker 1: my house that I'm so graciously letting you stay.

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Speaker 2: And also try to corrupt my children's opinions of me,

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Speaker 2: which is what she's trying to do and passing it

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Speaker 2: off as a joke.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like again, like to Opie's point, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: maybe I don't agree with this, but I won't tell

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Speaker 1: you how to parent your kids. Those are your kids,

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Speaker 1: you know what. More power to you there. But you

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Speaker 1: can't go and like say these crazy things about do

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Speaker 1: hiring the spicy sleepburger for the eighteen year old.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, my religious sister in law said I'd

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Speaker 2: be a horrible mother, so I screamed at her. Hi.

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Speaker 2: I Female twenty have been dating my fiance Tom twenty

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Speaker 2: one for three years. He has a complicated relationship with

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Speaker 2: his sister, Test twenty four, since her best friend died

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Speaker 2: when they were teenagers. After her passing tests became extremely religious.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from strick Vanilla eight three

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Speaker 2: five six on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So

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Speaker 2: the first time I met Test, she started in argument

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Speaker 2: with me because I wasn't being modest and my hair

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Speaker 2: color was a ore color. I was wearing a black

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Speaker 2: dress with a slit and my hair was green and black.

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Speaker 2: I think ore colors like blonde. My boyfriend shut her

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Speaker 2: up and we left immediately. When I met her from

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Speaker 2: the second time, she told me I would be a

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Speaker 2: horrible mother and our children would suffer for our sins.

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Speaker 2: Is this Angela from the office. Dude, test sounds terrible.

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Speaker 2: The last time we met before this incident was at

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Speaker 2: a cousin's wedding. Tom invited me and it was a

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Speaker 2: gorgeous ceremony. Tess and a few of her church friends

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Speaker 2: came up to me as Tom was talking to some

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Speaker 2: old family friends and started to talk to me about

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Speaker 2: maybe joining the church and devoting my life to my

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Speaker 2: husband and Jesus. They handed me a bible, and thankfully,

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Speaker 2: one of his aunts came over, scolded them and gave

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Speaker 2: that bible back. Now you know what she can be like. Yesterday,

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Speaker 2: I was talking to my mother in law about wanting

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Speaker 2: my hair at half black and half dark pink for

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Speaker 2: my wedding. We were deep into wedding planning when my

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Speaker 2: sister in law and her friend came up behind me

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Speaker 2: and cut a chunk of my hair out without even

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Speaker 2: grabbing it. My hair went from behind my lower back

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Speaker 2: to just above my shoulders. I screamed, and Tom came

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Speaker 2: in the room, digging a few seconds to take in

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Speaker 2: what happened and standing in silence as I tore her

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Speaker 2: a new one. I called her a psycho and said

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Speaker 2: that she needs to be sectioned because she's a batcrap

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Speaker 2: crazy and he needs to go to a psychiatric ward

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Speaker 2: because she's insane. John has said this, but if anyone

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Speaker 2: cut his hair, he would be thrown hand. Dude, it's

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00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 2: not even like booty length. I told her it took

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Speaker 2: me over five years to get my hair this long.

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Speaker 2: Her friend told me it was just hair. When I

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Speaker 2: told her my grandma had cancer, I shaved it all off,

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Speaker 2: and when she died, I had an attachment to my

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Speaker 2: hair as that was a length. She knew it as

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Speaker 2: I was close with her. I told them both to

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Speaker 2: burn and hell and they can both pay me for

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Speaker 2: extensions or I'm calling the police. They went pale after

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Speaker 2: hearing me talk about my grandma, but even more white

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Speaker 2: when I mentioned the police. I left without Tom, saying

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Speaker 2: I need space. I've been getting messages from members of

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Speaker 2: her friend group saying I'm horrible and a nasty woman

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Speaker 2: for what I said. I'm not talking to Tom because

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Speaker 2: I need time to process what's happened. Edit and also reminder,

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Speaker 2: we have Hella updates. I have nothing against people being religious,

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Speaker 2: and even Tom's mom has told me she's tried getting

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Speaker 2: help for tests, but she won't take it. Tom used

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Speaker 2: to be close with her, but in high school he

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Speaker 2: was bullied to the point where he moved into his

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Speaker 2: aunt's house and transferred to my school. We met in school,

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Speaker 2: and I was there when he was bullied because Tess

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Speaker 2: was seen as crazy and it's only a matter of

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Speaker 2: time before he became nuts too. So basically, his sister

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Speaker 2: was so crazy that he got bullied by proxy. Another update.

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Speaker 2: This all happened nearly a week ago, and I finally

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Speaker 2: decided to talk to Tom. I started by apologizing, but

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00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 2: he told me he understood that I needed time to

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Speaker 2: process what's happened. He then asked if I wanted to

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Speaker 2: postpone the wedding. I told him I needed to take

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Speaker 2: things slow as I'm back in therapy again because things

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00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 2: have become too much. He understood, and it was going

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Speaker 2: to go to a cafe for brunch this afternoon. After brunch,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to a salon to get quoted for hair extensions.

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Speaker 2: My fiance is coming with me, and however much it

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Speaker 2: will come to. He assured me that Tests will be paying.

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00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 2: As for Test and her friend, I've had nothing but problems. Monday,

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Speaker 2: I woke up to eggs and flour on my car

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00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,000
Speaker 2: Tuesday to Friday. I've had people send threatening letters. Thankfully,

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00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 2: my security cameras have a few faces. Everything she's doing

346
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 2: I'm keeping as evidence when I go to the police.

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00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 2: It's literally harassment.

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Speaker 1: And again not that it's excusable, it is literally assault

349
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Speaker 1: in America. I was like cutting the hair, It's like, okay,

350
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Speaker 1: that is like your one and only strike you get.

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00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,440
Speaker 2: If you're the sibling. But if it's like consistent, I'm sorry.

352
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,840
Speaker 2: And also I love how like this sister is like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I can't believe you cut my hair.

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Speaker 2: And then the sister's like, I can't believe you're getting

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00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 2: mad at me. I'm going to egg your car and

356
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 2: send you threatening letters. Like that's crazy to up the

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Speaker 2: anty after already doing something so terrible. Yeah, she definitely

358
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,720
Speaker 2: needs some professional help. We got another update. This probably

359
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 2: isn't the update you were expecting, But Tom and I

360
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: went to brunch and everything was good until we got

361
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,280
Speaker 2: a phone call from his mom. She asked him why

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Speaker 2: he didn't tell her about me being pregnant, and that

363
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,720
Speaker 2: she had to find out from a post test. Made

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00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 2: Tom's face went pale at the table and he just

365
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 2: told her they'd talk later. He hung up before anything

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00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,040
Speaker 2: was said. Tom apologized profusely. But I was shocked. I

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00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,840
Speaker 2: found out I was pregnant when I was eighteen and

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00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 2: had a miscarriage. I told my mom and dad, and

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00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,440
Speaker 2: he told his other sister, Sarah. Tom called her back

370
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,040
Speaker 2: and told her what had happened, and she's told us

371
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,959
Speaker 2: she's dealing with tests when she got home. We have

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00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 2: no idea how Test found out. His other sister was

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00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 2: forbidden for entering the house because she believes that Sarah

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00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,160
Speaker 2: was a witch and going against the church. So she's

375
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 2: either found her messages or seen the box under my

376
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 2: fiance's floorboards. I'm beyond upset. Since this afternoon, I've begetting

377
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:44,040
Speaker 2: messages saying I ended my child's life for having a miscarriage. Dude,

378
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 2: there's another update. Oh my god, But like, what do

379
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,119
Speaker 2: you do? Go as hard as you can no contact

380
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 2: and legally like.

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00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,439
Speaker 1: No contact, and then like I'm going as hard as

382
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Speaker 1: I can, Like I don't know, can we throw her

383
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: in jail for a night?

384
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,360
Speaker 2: I don't know. Tella Davis says, a test needs say

385
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,120
Speaker 2: it take a grippysock vacation. But we got another update,

386
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 2: So before I started this, I want to say I

387
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 2: wasn't expecting this much attention. This all started on a

388
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 2: different thread and I moved it to this one. This

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00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 2: will be a long update because I last wrote this

390
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 2: a week ago on the other thread and I copypasted

391
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 2: it here. A lot has happened in the past two weeks,

392
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 2: so I'm going to try and do a mass update.

393
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 2: Me and Tom went to the police and filed a report.

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00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,120
Speaker 2: Good and after we went to her church and told

395
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,920
Speaker 2: the pastor what was happening. That's actually really good. Hit

396
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 2: her where it hurts, you know. He was appalled. He apologized,

397
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 2: and Tests and her friend are no longer part of

398
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 2: their church. Test has been kicked out and her parents

399
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 2: have cut her off. Me and Tom are doing a

400
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 2: little better, but I'm still hurt about the messages and

401
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 2: about me ending my baby. On Saturday, we're going out

402
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,439
Speaker 2: to dinner with his sister, Sarah and their parents. Tom

403
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 2: has started therapy, which probably is needed. My future mother

404
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,880
Speaker 2: in law has started therapy. I'm not sure how she's doing,

405
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,680
Speaker 2: as we haven't spoken much. My fiance has told me this.

406
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 2: I mean, like, honestly, say what you will about the friend,

407
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 2: but she's like ride or dive. Test and her friend

408
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 2: has tried contacting me, but we are currently going through

409
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 2: the process of a restrating order. I'm not sure what

410
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 2: I can say because of the open investigation, but it

411
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 2: looks like we'll be approved with the amount of proof

412
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 2: we have. I've also managed to get the money for

413
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 2: my hair due to my father in law telling Tests

414
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 2: they'll press charges too due to vandalism on one of

415
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: their other properties. I have an appointment for the extensions

416
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 2: tomorrow and we have another major update. Should I just

417
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: go straight into it and then we have a final

418
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 2: update after that, So let's go. It's been about two

419
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 2: weeks since my last edit, and many things have happened.

420
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,120
Speaker 2: Tests and her friend are currently awaiting a trial date

421
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 2: and could be facing up to three to ten years.

422
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: That's a lot. Oh my gosh. Does the punishment fit

423
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 2: the crime? I don't think so. Honestly. I was like

424
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: throwing dil for a night. It's just like they're a

425
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 2: little scared, straight vibes, but low key.

426
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 3: If she's willing to do this to Opee, does not

427
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 3: seem like she's hitting her stopping point like I feel

428
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 3: like she would kept going, and I guess we're.

429
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 2: About to hear her legitimate crime she was charged with.

430
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 2: The unalive threats have slowly stopped, and the pastor of

431
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 2: her old church has stopped by my apartment and has

432
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 2: told us that he wishes us a blessed life. My

433
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,719
Speaker 2: mother in law's finally managed to open up about the

434
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 2: abuse she faced with tests. I won't say what I

435
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 2: have been told, but we're hoping that with the evidence

436
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 2: my mother in law has on tests, she may go

437
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: away or longer. My father in law has also joined therapy,

438
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,439
Speaker 2: and Tom has told me they're in couples therapy and

439
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: family therapy to try to gain a better relationship with

440
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 2: each other and their other daughter, Sarah. Sarah has also

441
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 2: slowly introduced them into her children's lives, and they have

442
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 2: finally met her husband. There's an over eleven year gap

443
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,360
Speaker 2: between Sarah and Tom. By the time test turn heavily religious,

444
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 2: Sarah was engaged and pregnant with her second child. Me

445
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 2: and Tom are doing better. We go to couple's therapy

446
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 2: twice a week, but we have decided to stop wedding

447
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 2: planning as a whole. Probably makes sense with everything going on.

448
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 2: We're still engaged, but too much is happening, and we're

449
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 2: focusing on strengthening our relationship. We have spoken more about

450
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 2: our future and are doing better. I've also decided to

451
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 2: move as I'm scared of Test getting more people to

452
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 2: try to harm me. How is Test getting all these

453
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 2: people to rally to her cry? She's so used.

454
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: To like master manipulating that she's been able to just

455
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: like it's almost like a like a leaky backet of

456
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 1: like Sho'll get one person and then they'll realize that

457
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 1: she's crazy, and then she just moves on to the next.

458
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm planning on moving to the other side of town

459
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,959
Speaker 2: cluch to Tom but if not, we're talking about maybe

460
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 2: starting over in a new town. And then we have

461
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 2: the final update.

462
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: I want to know the charges because that's longer than

463
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: three to ten years.

464
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 2: It's a long time. Hey everyone, and thank you for

465
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 2: all the kind of support of messages. It's been nearing

466
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 2: a month since my last update, and this will be

467
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 2: my final update. Test and her friend's court date was

468
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 2: a short while ago. I won't go into any details,

469
00:21:55,080 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 2: and they got nearly twenty seven years combined. What did

470
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 2: they do if it was three to ten both of

471
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 2: them getting ten would have been twenty. Is there more friends?

472
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 2: I think it was only just her and her little accomplice, right, I.

473
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 3: Feel like tests will beginning the most and then the

474
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 3: accomplished will beginning like like half of what she got.

475
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: Surprisingly, my mother in law and father in law stood

476
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 2: up to test by pressing charges, as well as some

477
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 2: other relatives who had similar issues with tests. And if

478
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 2: you don't want a restraining order from us, you should

479
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 2: join us live on every weekday at three pm BSD.

480
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 2: Just tab our profile here on YouTube. As for me

481
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,400
Speaker 2: and Tom, we moved across the country closer to my family.

482
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: Tom's parents and sister have also decided to move, but

483
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 2: to a different state. They have so much catching up

484
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: to do. Me and Tom also found out that we're pregnant.

485
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,919
Speaker 2: I've been doing everything to keep this baby healthy, but

486
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 2: most importantly making sure me and Tom are okay. We're

487
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 2: still in therapy, but with this baby on the way,

488
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 2: things are getting better anyway. Thank you everyone for your

489
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 2: kind words. I'll still be watching this account from afar,

490
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 2: but thank you for helping me when I need it.

491
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 2: And that is where this story ends.

492
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I don't like how the story end,

493
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 3: because it's like.

494
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 2: Tess is still at large, but she's getting years.

495
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 3: She's getting arsed, but what happens when she gets out,

496
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 3: She'll be on the prowl. Dude, this is like the

497
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,479
Speaker 3: prequel to like a movie.

498
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, Sophia kount says, you don't get twenty

499
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: seven years for threatening There has to have been more,

500
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: some proof. So I think it's like there's a lot

501
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 1: of other stuff that happened that were not privy to.

502
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 2: It's probably hell accounts.

503
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 1: A lot of counts. Probably I wish just for our

504
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: own sake of like understanding the context of the story,

505
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 1: we kind of knew more of what it was. But yeah,

506
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: like getting fifteen to twenty years in prison.

507
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 2: That is like, that's serious crap. That's hard time. That

508
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: is hard freaking time.

509
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: My sister in laws, bride's maid, tried to take over

510
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: the bachelor party. I reminded her that I'm the maid

511
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: of honor. I twenty seven female, have a brother twenty three.

512
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: We'll call him Brad, who is marrying twenty female who

513
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: will just call Katie. Just for context of the nature

514
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 1: of the closeness friendship. When Brad and Katie started dating

515
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: when Katie was fourteen and Brad was seventeen.

516
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,719
Speaker 2: Excuse me for DDE in seventeen is a little wild.

517
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: They met in fringe class in high school. Katie and

518
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: I became close really quickly. She is like the little

519
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: sister I never got to have. I have six brothers. God,

520
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,719
Speaker 1: we even have multiple matching slash complimentary tattoos. So now

521
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: you have a small idea of the level of our closeness.

522
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: It's pretty much a given that Katie did specifically ask

523
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: me to be her maid of honor when my brother

524
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,479
Speaker 1: proposed in February of twenty twenty three, and they're now

525
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 1: getting married in August of twenty twenty four, meaning it's

526
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 1: already happened. And this comes from entertainer LL sixty eight

527
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: fifty three on.

528
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 2: The r slash Okay story Time star Brenda.

529
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 1: So Katie has another friend who will call Regina twenty

530
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: four to twenty five female. I've never liked Regina. Katie

531
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: and her met when they work together. They haven't worked

532
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: together for years now. Regina is not a very good

533
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: person on her own. I feel this way largely because

534
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: she is a known thief. She steals things varying in

535
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: value regularly. One particular instance, for example, when we the

536
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: wedding party which includes myself is made of honor, Regina

537
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: and another friend of the family who will call Sarah,

538
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: went to look out wedding dresses for Katie and we

539
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: went to this small rack store. We all decided to

540
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 1: get some little rings to commemorate the occasion. Regina, being

541
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: the klepto she is, stole two rings. Oh my goodness,

542
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: I didn't know Regina stole them until after we got home,

543
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 1: and Katie made me aware that she was watching and

544
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: never saw Regina pay for her rings, while she did

545
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: watch Sarah pay for hers. Just for additional info, I

546
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 1: love Sarah and she is wonderful. My dislike for Regina

547
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: also stems from her continually trying to push me out

548
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: and exclude me from anything involving Katie.

549
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 2: Literally and figuratively.

550
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: If even the three of us are attending, Regina will

551
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: literally cut me out of the circle of conversation. I

552
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: might be able to handle this behavior, except for the

553
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: fact that Katie always allows Regina to treat me this way.

554
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: She never tries to bring me back into the group

555
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: or stand up for me whatsoever. Katie is a leo

556
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: and very outspoken, so this is sort of out of

557
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: character for her to just not speak her mind on things.

558
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: Now you have an idea of what the dynamics are.

559
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 1: Katie is a very indecisive person when it comes to

560
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: making concrete plans. She had a few different ideas for

561
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: what she wanted her bachelorette party to be, which will

562
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: be combined with her twenty first birthday as she turns

563
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: twenty one on August seventh, and the wedding is August ninth.

564
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't get Katie to lock anything down or even

565
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: make a general decision on what she wanted for today.

566
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 2: Well, we live in a state where the doubles let.

567
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 1: Us is legal, and she mentioned wanting to visit a

568
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 1: dispensary and wanting to go to a bar. She's not

569
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: really the bar or party type girl, neither am I,

570
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: but obviously she's never really gotten to go to one,

571
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: so that's on the list. Katie does use nicotine, and

572
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 1: I also thought that she might like to visit a

573
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 1: hookah bar, so I send on a generalized plan to

574
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: the other two bridesmaids back in April, suggesting that we

575
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: go to one of the larger cities near us. One

576
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: of the larger towns is roughly forty five minutes away,

577
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: and the big city is about two hours away, where

578
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: we could possibly do some shopping and get some new

579
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: offits I don't know, and then go to some sort

580
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: of aforementioned places, get some dinner, spend the day in

581
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: the evening doing various other activities as we and Katie wanted,

582
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: without having to have a specific itinery or anything like that.

583
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: They would just want to like, we'll hit the town,

584
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 1: we'll go to some things, no specific plans.

585
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: Which like it can be nice to just have go

586
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: to a spot and just kind of explore.

587
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: I also brought up the idea of possibly getting a

588
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 1: hotel for the night, but I don't drink, so I

589
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: offered to just be the designated driver and drive us

590
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 1: all around town and everyone home at the end of

591
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: the night.

592
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: Riley knows about that life.

593
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 1: The other girls agreed, thought the idea was great, and

594
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 1: never answered my request for which towns slash city we

595
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: should go to, and no one mentioned wanting to do

596
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: the hotel thing, so I figured we were all good

597
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: with me being the designated driver, and we all just

598
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: kind of decided on the day, which town or city

599
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: we would want to go to, depending on.

600
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 2: How far we felt like driving.

601
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 1: This was all set, and Regina and Sarah requested the

602
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 1: time off for work and such.

603
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 2: It seems like their plan isn't very much of a plan.

604
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 2: I mean, it's the concept of a plan. I've got

605
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 2: many big plans. It's so great. We're gonna go hit

606
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 2: some bars. Maybe we'll walk around, you know, explore a

607
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 2: little bit, get some more dubes, maybe some papas. You know,

608
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 2: I heard the pets out here really delicious. It's so good.

609
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: You can eat the bets, you can eat the dogs,

610
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 2: you need the gats. I don't know. This not plan

611
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 2: plan to me.

612
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: It seems like it's not gonna involve probably not well.

613
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, Regina sends a text out to

614
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: the group which includes Katie the bride, and myself and

615
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 1: Sarah obviously, and Regina starts stating, let's plan this bachelortte party.

616
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,959
Speaker 1: Whoo okay, and proceeds the lister plan for the party

617
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: and tell me that I should drive separately since I

618
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: have a child. My daughter is almost nine months old,

619
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: I obviously wouldn't be bringing her with me as I

620
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: stayed above. We were planning to do some very adult

621
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: only activities, so I very understandably confused, as were already

622
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: had a plan in place, which he agreed to in April,

623
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: and now all of a sudden is acting as if

624
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 1: no plan had been made on my part and she

625
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: was gonna just step in and fill the lacking made

626
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: of honor duties.

627
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: Because there is a plan, but the plan is to

628
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 2: not really have that much of a plan.

629
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: I do totally think that Regina is like intentionally encroaching here,

630
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: But at the same time, the plan wasn't I don't know.

631
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe I mean if she got their sign off.

632
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: If everyone agrees to the plan not being like a

633
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 2: really strong plan, that I'm okay with that plancause they

634
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: have the day they have that that she'll drive home,

635
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 2: that's I guess enough.

636
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: Regina decided that we need to stay in a hotel

637
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: that night and get brunch in the morning. Now, remember

638
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: I have a nine month old baby, We are less

639
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: than three weeks out from the wedding, and my husband works.

640
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: The party is set for August seventh, which is a Wednesday.

641
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: My husband would have to work Thursday morning. Therefore can't

642
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: be on baby duty all night Wednesday and all day Thursday,

643
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: without speaking to me or getting input from me whatsoever.

644
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: Regina goes ahead and books a hotel for the night

645
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: of the seventh. Also slight side note, just the level

646
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: of things you have to think through with a child

647
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: is kind of crazy.

648
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: It's too much the same. I can't do it.

649
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,239
Speaker 1: I see no responses from the other girls, aside from

650
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: Katie liking Regina's text planning the party, and then Regina

651
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: texting she's gone ahead and booked the hotel. At this point,

652
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: I'm fed up with Regina, and I am pissed. I

653
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: send back a message to the group chat explaining this

654
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: won't work for me, given I have a baby, which

655
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: everyone is aware of, and I had already made a

656
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: plan with the bridesmaids months ago.

657
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 2: I even sent a screenshow of those messages.

658
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: When I sent the plan and got the responses from

659
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: the girls, Okay, that's a smoking gun.

660
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: If they responded to it, then hey, you agreed.

661
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: Regina went on playing dumb, saying that she was just

662
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: clarifying the plan because she hadn't heard anything since then,

663
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: but then would also say that she forgot and was

664
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: just trying to be helpful because she didn't want.

665
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: The bride to stress.

666
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: Oh shut up, Regina, we all know you, and your

667
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: message clearly wasn't to check up, slash clarify, slash can farm.

668
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: Opie says, she literally said, let's plan this bachelorette party

669
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: and decided to make her own plan. I even told

670
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: her as much without the shut up part, and pointed

671
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: out the fact that she decided I had to even

672
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: book a hotel without any input from me, and reminded.

673
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 2: Her that I am the maid of honor, don't you Dad?

674
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 2: You sip my power. I wear the ring to the motor.

675
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: Of course, Katie comes to Regina's defense, saying she only

676
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: had good intentions and Katie was stressed about it, so

677
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: she was glad Regina said something. Katie knew good and

678
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: well about the plan I had made with everyone.

679
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: We spoke about it more than once.

680
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: Essentially, Katie goes on to just make excuses for Regina

681
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: and contradict the crap out of the entire situation. Regina

682
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: went as far as to message me directly to give

683
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: a back candid apology where she says, sorry, she stepped

684
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: on my toes and then says, can't we just forget

685
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 1: about it and move on?

686
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: She gonna make everyone pay for the hotel.

687
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like she might, Yeah, like

688
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: at least split it with everyone, right.

689
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 2: That was my breaking point.

690
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: I told Katie Regina's blatant disrespect for me has been

691
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: too much and this time she had gone way too far.

692
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: After a lot of back and forth, I'm going to

693
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: be left out of the hotel and brunch the next morning.

694
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: Whoa, oh, so they are doing the hotel and the

695
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 2: brunch and Ope's just like peace out. So like right now,

696
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: Op is like I was planning this and I made

697
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: sure like it fit with like my schedule and also

698
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 2: the fact that I have to be with the baby,

699
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: and maybe the sister law was like I actually want

700
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: to like have like a full night out with the plan,

701
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: and employed Regina to kind of make that plan and

702
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 2: kind of signed off of it and cut out Op

703
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: because she didn't want to have to deal with all

704
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: this baby stuff.

705
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: That is a really good conspiracy theory because it's like

706
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 1: driving home the night of your bachelorette party is kind

707
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: of crazy, dude, Like you just get the hotel, Like

708
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: why not?

709
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like ope was I don't want to

710
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: completely crap an ope, but it does feel like I

711
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 2: got this like little sniff earlier where it was like

712
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 2: we had already planned something that I could do and

713
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 2: like around my baby and around my husband's schedule and everything,

714
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 2: and I feel like it may have cramped the style

715
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: of the bachelor party energy. Katie's being nice.

716
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: The thing is, though Katie should have said from the jump, like.

717
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 2: I know this might offend you, but this is not

718
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: what I want, which.

719
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: Honestly, like if Opie is a rational person to be like, yeah,

720
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: it's your bachelorette party, like, let's figure out a solution.

721
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: And ope, he was down to the hotel. But anyways,

722
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 2: I digress.

723
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: These girls are all at least a few years younger

724
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,959
Speaker 1: than me, and Regina is a wasted party girl. I

725
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: despise wasted people. Sorry, but they annoy me.

726
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: Lol. I mean, I feel like Katie's just of a

727
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 2: different era of life. She's a mom, you know, and

728
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: she's like she's older. It isn't like all these.

729
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: She's twenty eight ready to crawl in a hole and die,

730
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: you know, like me, So I get it.

731
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 2: I I feel your sister. Oh, my god.

732
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,959
Speaker 1: So I'm anticipating this to be me driving out a

733
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: bunch of wasted, annoying girls all night and then dropping

734
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: them off at their hotel, has a little bridal party

735
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: bash night together, and they will all go have brunch

736
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: the next day without me.

737
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 2: It's a bachelor party. Like, come on, cut her some

738
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: slack being annoyed with Regina, like butting in.

739
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: I totally get, but like that's not surprising, and of

740
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: course they would want to do that. Yeah, like what

741
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: twenty one year old doesn't want to do that? Yeah,

742
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: but what twenty one year.

743
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 2: Old wants to drive home? Not any of them, nobody.

744
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 2: I think, honestly, Op needs to get over a little bit.

745
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 2: I don't want to go to any of it.

746
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,439
Speaker 1: At this point, Katie keeps saying she wants me there,

747
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: but her actions say otherwise. So read it would I

748
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: be the ahole if I didn't attend the party at all.

749
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: By the way, you'd be the.

750
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: A whole if you did join our live and three

751
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: PMPSD every weekday.

752
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: Do that. But before we get into the final edits,

753
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 2: I do think that is exactly what Katie wants. Katie

754
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 2: does not want Op to come because Op's kind of

755
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 2: cramp in the bachelor party's lifestyle and vibe, and Katie

756
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: is too nice. And when I say nice, I mean

757
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 2: like wanting to appease everyone to say the honest truth. Yeah,

758
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 2: that totally could be the case.

759
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: She could be also conflicted about maybe she's like doesn't

760
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: know what to do because she's like, hey, maybe I

761
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: love Op in like the context of like usually, oh,

762
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: we like hang out, we like movie nights or whatever.

763
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 2: But in the context of like, okay, we're throwing at

764
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: her party, I'm trying to Regina like waste out, you know,

765
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 2: and Regina is the party girl. She Regina knows how

766
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 2: to fucking bring it got. She's getting married at twenty one.

767
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: Let her need something crazy like.

768
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: The Final edits to read for your I only met

769
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: Katie when she started dating my brother Brad, and we

770
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: became close because of him in their relationship. We are

771
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: very similar people, and I saw Slash see a lot

772
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 1: of my younger self and her. As I stated in Commons,

773
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: she's like a little sister to me, and we have

774
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 1: a very sisterly bond. Katie doesn't have any sisters either.

775
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 1: She only has one brother. I am close with my

776
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 1: other sister in law as well. I have two others.

777
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: We usually refer to each other as each other's sisters,

778
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: but for people who know we're not actually sisters, we'll

779
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: just say best friends. It's also not weird or abnormal

780
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: for your sister to be your best friend. Even my

781
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: mom is a best friend to me, and that's it.

782
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 2: I want to know what OPI ended up choosing, like

783
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 2: to go to the party or not. And I also

784
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 2: want to know what Katie ended up choosing to throw

785
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 2: the kick at Regina George's birthday wasted Vergion or like

786
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: the mom boring version.

787
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I low key feel like she's already upset by

788
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 1: this if.

789
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 2: She went to I think she might just be like

790
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:10,399
Speaker 2: a downer.

791
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 1: For this specific occasion. I think that might be the case,

792
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 1: But like op is, actually is everyone in the a

793
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 1: hole here.

794
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 2: I think Katie's the ale for not confronting Ope saying

795
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 2: this is not the thing she wants. I think Regina

796
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 2: is the a hole for like basically doing potentially Katie's

797
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 2: bidding and setting up this new bachelor party thing. And

798
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: I think Op is the a hole for not understanding

799
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 2: that these are dumb twenty one year olds that just

800
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 2: want to get wasted for their bachelor party. Like it

801
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:38,800
Speaker 2: just did give an air.

802
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm planning this and it's like, well, this should be

803
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 1: all in.

804
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: For the bride for Katie. But I would love to

805
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: know what y'all think. Put your answers in the comments below.

806
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 4: I was adopted by my best friend's family and then

807
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 4: they kicked me out.

808
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 5: Here's my story of the past three years of drama.

809
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:57,919
Speaker 2: So buckle up.

810
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 4: I twenty one female, moved into my best friend's house

811
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 4: when I was eighteen, right before graduating high school. My

812
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 4: relationship with my single mom was strained and I felt

813
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 4: emotionally abusive, leading to all of my siblings moving out

814
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 4: at eighteen. By the way, this comes from user adept

815
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,280
Speaker 4: Square four thirty six on the r slash Okay storytime

816
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 4: stop read it. So my best friend, let's call her Hayley,

817
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 4: the same age as me, had been best friends for

818
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 4: seven years and her family always seemed to support me.

819
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,879
Speaker 5: Her dad even welcomed me to move in.

820
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:30,720
Speaker 4: Before I asked, wow, it's proactive, Okay. So I moved

821
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:34,280
Speaker 4: in with Haley, her dad, and her brother Brad sixteen male.

822
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 4: I finally felt wanted and felt like I could start

823
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,959
Speaker 4: living my life. Haley's dad gave me my own room,

824
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 4: helped me get my license, pick a college, and even

825
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 4: let me borrow their car if I covered gas and insurance.

826
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

827
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 4: He remarried a woman from another country who moved in

828
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 4: with her son. I helped with their wedding and tried

829
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 4: to make them feel welcome. After only three months of

830
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 4: living there, both parents approached me and asked me if

831
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 4: I wanted them to adopt me as an adult.

832
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 3: Wow, that's adorable.

833
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 5: Like we want to adult adopt you.

834
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: Yes, John and Sam did that to me.

835
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 5: Yes, that's we all love you for being our adopted child.

836
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 4: I was very confused and hesitant, since I didn't want

837
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 4: to cut myself off from my biological family, but Haley

838
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 4: assured me it was like we had always dreamt about

839
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 4: and wanted me to be family. This felt kind of strange,

840
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 4: since they said it would finally make me part of

841
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 4: the family, while I had felt we already were. They

842
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 4: continued to ask me, and after asking for the third

843
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 4: or fourth time, I said yes. I was excited as

844
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 4: everyone seemed thrilled about the adoption. Haley's dad made promises

845
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 4: like treating me fairly and the same as his other children,

846
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 4: always being there for me and covering doctor visits and

847
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 4: food costs because health is important. I was excluded from

848
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 4: most of the legal process, only signing documents and attending court.

849
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 4: I felt it was really rushed, happening just four months

850
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 4: after they first asked during my first year of college.

851
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 2: Well that's a lot.

852
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 5: That is a lot to happen all at the same time.

853
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, because of.

854
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 4: The adoption, I had to change my last name and

855
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 4: keep it a secret from my family as my mom

856
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 4: worked at the courthouse, and they told me they were.

857
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 5: Worried she would interfere in it. Ooo, what's up with

858
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 5: this whole?

859
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 4: Like, I guess it makes sense because she has like

860
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,319
Speaker 4: a negative history. But they're like, we can't let your

861
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 4: family know because how are they going to stop it?

862
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 2: Dude?

863
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 3: You never know. People are crazy. Come on, dude, you've

864
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 3: seen Reddit. I know, but it's like creating.

865
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 4: She'd just be like, Yeah, that's my emotionally abusive and

866
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,760
Speaker 4: manipulative mom. See she's doing it right now by trying

867
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 4: to not let me be adopted by these people.

868
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 2: I know.

869
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: People get creative, dude.

870
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 4: I guess looking back, I realize how crazy this whole

871
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 4: situation is, and I still feel awful about going through

872
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 4: with it. During this time, I met my boyfriend, who

873
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 4: has been my rock through this whole thing, because after

874
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 4: the adoption was finalized, things went south quick. Right after

875
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 4: high school, I went straight to college and lived on camp,

876
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 4: coming home only during breaks. Since I didn't have a

877
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 4: car and the campus was nearly three hours away. I

878
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 4: pay for college completely on my own, making it hard

879
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 4: to afford a car. During the summer after my freshman year,

880
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 4: I hit a ditch and damaged a tire due to

881
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 4: my inexperience. Haley's parents blamed it on my insomnia and

882
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 4: declared me unfit to drive until I fixed it. I

883
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 4: would have to rate my sleep every morning to them,

884
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 4: which felt extremely degrading.

885
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 2: What.

886
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a weird thing, being like, so.

887
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 2: Did you sleep well last night? Uh, you're not driving.

888
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: It's like a breath meter. You know what you need

889
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 2: to do, guys.

890
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 3: You guys need to get like one of those sleep

891
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 3: trackers and see the recovery on their sleep.

892
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably what they were doing.

893
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 3: Instead of asking just be like okay, how was it,

894
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 3: They're like, show me your apple watch like sleep tracker,

895
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 3: show me your pair watch.

896
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 4: I am not letting you get behind the wheel of

897
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 4: my automobile until I see your sleep.

898
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 3: History is above eighty percent.

899
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

900
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 4: I hadn't slept well for years, often lying awake for

901
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 4: hours and waking up from nightmares caused by childhood trauma,

902
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 4: which could be treated with medication. They made me feel

903
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 4: like less of a person, asking me to fix something

904
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 4: out of my control and insisting I take sleep meds

905
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 4: to drive again. Meanwhile, Haley totaled a car and Brad

906
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 4: totaled two from careless driving, all in the same month.

907
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,800
Speaker 4: The totaled three cars in a month. What no, no, no, no, no,

908
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 4: that's crazy. Neither of them faced any consequences or restrictions.

909
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 4: This wasn't the end of the difference in treatment. If

910
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 4: someone left a dish in the sink, it was always

911
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 4: my dish by default.

912
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: Ooh, Cinderella story.

913
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 5: It's your dishes, not our dishes.

914
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 2: Babe.

915
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 4: Haley would leave a pile of arts and crafts all

916
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 4: over the table for months, but if I left a

917
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 4: book or sweater in the living room, it was thrown

918
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 4: in my room the next day. I would have to

919
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,720
Speaker 4: buy my own food. But they spent about one hundred

920
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 4: and eighty dollars on Brad's food every week to support

921
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 4: him small things like this. The sleeping medication they insisted

922
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 4: I take did not agree with me and caused me

923
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 4: to have some heart problems. I was hiking with Hailey

924
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 4: and suddenly had burning chest pain and could barely breathe,

925
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 4: extreme dizziness and heart palpitations. When I got out of

926
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 4: the woods. They told me to just lay in the

927
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 4: car until I felt better and to not ruin their

928
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 4: camping trip. Haley didn't care either. Later that week, someone

929
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 4: scraped their leg and was taken to the doctor.

930
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: Oh what is this?

931
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 4: They just wanted a Why did this family just want

932
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 4: like a little Harry Potter under the stairs child?

933
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 2: I mean to degrade.

934
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,479
Speaker 3: You gotta put someone down, I guess.

935
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 4: So they're like, finally we can adopt a punching bag

936
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:28,879
Speaker 4: for a home.

937
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: That's really what it is.

938
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,720
Speaker 4: Next summer we faced bigger problems. They planned a family

939
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 4: vacation to Florida and told me I had to go

940
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 4: because I'm part of the family. Despite needing to work

941
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 4: to pay for my college. Brad was allowed to stay

942
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 4: behind for work. Hailey's father forgot his bipolar and diabetic medication,

943
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:51,760
Speaker 4: becoming extremely irritable and yelling at Haley on the way home. Luckily,

944
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 4: Haley and I were able to take a separate car

945
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 4: the rest of the way back, where she ranted to

946
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 4: me about all the problems she had been having and

947
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 4: said she noticed they weren't treating me fairly either. Oh wow,

948
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 4: Thank god, Hailey has a little bit of awareness now.

949
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 3: But I think she said that because she's not being

950
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 3: treated fairly, and she's like, you also have been treated failure?

951
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 2: Really is?

952
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 4: She raided it about being yelled at one time, and

953
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 4: then was also like, oh, they've kind of been doing.

954
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,479
Speaker 5: Bad stuff to you too, haven't they.

955
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're gonna use it again. They're like, you should

956
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 3: probably say something about that.

957
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you might want to do something about that.

958
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 4: She got in a three hour screaming match with both

959
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 4: parents and Brad when she got home. I was not

960
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 4: involved in these arguments at all. I felt unsafe and

961
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 4: had a panic attack in my room, so Haley and

962
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 4: I stayed at a hotel that night. I stayed at

963
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 4: a friend's house for a few days to cool down

964
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 4: and let them know I was safe.

965
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 2: Neither of them asked me where I was.

966
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 4: Upon returning, her parents accused me of causing the argument,

967
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 4: called me a liar and a manipulator for not telling

968
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 4: them where I was, and he yelled at me for

969
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 4: over an hour, causing another panic attack. They just stared

970
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 4: at me like I was faking it and walked away.

971
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 4: They belittled me constantly, and I spent most of my

972
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 4: time in my room or at my boyfriend's house. They

973
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 4: sent passive aggressive messages, treated me poorly, and and I

974
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 4: owed them for the adoption. Whoa, hey, you owe us?

975
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 4: You owe us for that? What a dork these parents are?

976
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, he would ignore me when I said I

977
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 4: love you and deny He heard it numerous times. Hailey

978
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,240
Speaker 4: stepmother gave me the silent treatment for a month, saying

979
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 4: I deserved it for not telling them where I was.

980
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 4: Good old fashioned silent treatment out of grown adults.

981
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 5: Wow, yeah, nice, you're what you're the stepmom and you're

982
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 5: acting like a like a high schooler.

983
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, beef, dude, it is ridiculous.

984
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 4: I tried my hardest to fix the situation, but nothing

985
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 4: was good enough for them. I left for college as

986
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 4: soon as I could. While I was away Haley told

987
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 4: me that they were using my room as a marital

988
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 4: bedroom at least once a week because I bought a

989
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 4: TV for my room and it was the only one

990
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 4: in the house. Okay, these people suck like in the

991
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 4: weirdest ways to Yeah, they thought, but it was a

992
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 4: weird brag to say they didn't have one but would

993
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 4: watch shows on their computers anyway. This also led them

994
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 4: to eat and leave trash all over my room when

995
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 4: they had family movie night on my bed. I worked

996
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 4: throughout college and saved enough to study abroad in New

997
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 4: Zealand for five months.

998
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 5: I just returned four weeks ago this June.

999
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 4: Before leaving, my mom found out about the adoption, and

1000
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 4: we started rebuilding our relationship without them knowing. They did

1001
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 4: not contact me the entire time I was there, including

1002
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 4: to see if I made it safely, which stressed me

1003
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 4: out like crazy. I would try calling and they would

1004
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,840
Speaker 4: say they were busy and hang up. I tried reaching

1005
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 4: out to Haley and she denied anything was unusual. I

1006
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 4: tried asking what I did wrong and was met with silence.

1007
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 4: I had no idea what I'd be coming back to

1008
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 4: when I returned four weeks ago.

1009
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 2: In June.

1010
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 4: They had packed every belonging I owned and put it

1011
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 4: in a room downstairs.

1012
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 3: Whoa about everything about the TV?

1013
00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 4: That's yeah, everything except the TV as they used had

1014
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 4: mold on them. Oh and there was cat pee and

1015
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 4: throw up everywhere, and mold growing from the damp carpet.

1016
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 2: You what is this? What is this random bit that

1017
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: they have?

1018
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 4: They all continued giving me the silent treatment like a

1019
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 4: child might do. I moved back in with my mom,

1020
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 4: but I couldn't take everything with me. When I tried

1021
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 4: to retrieve the rest of my things, they locked me out.

1022
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 4: Stay you out. These people are like criminal crazy. They

1023
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 4: deny having my birth certificate, social Security card, and kept

1024
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 4: bonds given to me as a baby.

1025
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 5: And we're gonna get the police involved.

1026
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 4: If you don't join us live on YouTube every weekday

1027
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 4: at three PMPST.

1028
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 5: Just tap our profile, BigMan me ming meming girl.

1029
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 2: Get out of there.

1030
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 4: Do you really thinks you can to get the f

1031
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 4: out of there and get your documents? I later learned

1032
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 4: Haley had spread rumors about me abusing her parents. She

1033
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 4: never heard from me, and she didn't even know who

1034
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 4: I was anymore. Some friends have suggested giving Hailey space

1035
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 4: and eventually reconnected, but I've decided I'll never associate with

1036
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 4: her or her family again after their behavior good I

1037
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 4: believe everyone deserves better treatment. Thankfully, I'm recovering with the

1038
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 4: support of my mom, boyfriend and his parents, but of

1039
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 4: course I'm still torn up about it. I have no

1040
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 4: details as to what the other families thinking was, but

1041
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 4: a few people have taken some guesses. The most common

1042
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 4: guess is that since I'm entering my senior year at

1043
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 4: an expensive college, they won't be receiving my tax return

1044
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 4: money or tax breaks from me being a dependent, which

1045
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 4: outweighed the cost of me using a room. I also

1046
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 4: think the people who know them stopped praising them for

1047
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 4: being such kind and caring people and for taking me in,

1048
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 4: since enough time had passed since I moved in. So

1049
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 4: am I the a hole in this situation? Or maybe

1050
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 4: asked for too much of them? Or are they in

1051
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 4: the wrong here.

1052
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 3: I don't think you're the a hole. You're in a

1053
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 3: tough situation. Yeah, these people open their home to you.

1054
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,040
Speaker 3: This should have been a gift, and they abuse.

1055
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 5: That they adopted you. Yeah, they adopted you.

1056
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 3: I want to tell my brother he's adopted, But my

1057
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 3: parents would go no contact.

1058
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 2: If I do.

1059
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 5: Parents are brother, which one do you pick?

1060
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just make a pros and consolst real quick.

1061
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1062
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 3: I'm twenty six years old and I don't live with

1063
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,359
Speaker 3: my parents, but had a great relationship with him as

1064
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 3: well with my little brother Moses. Moses doesn't have a

1065
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 3: great relationship with their parents. He's never really had a

1066
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 3: relationship with them. I don't fully understand why. From what

1067
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:33,919
Speaker 3: I can gather from my research, adopted children, even those

1068
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 3: who were too young to remember, can still have mental

1069
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 3: blocks and trauma which prevents them from forming full relationships

1070
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 3: with their adoptive parents.

1071
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 5: It's interesting I was not aware of that.

1072
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Classic Advice fifty one

1073
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 3: to fifteen are Slashowkay storytime, supread him. So, Moses is

1074
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 3: thirteen years old and we're so close. He spends most

1075
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 3: of his weekends at my house. His school breaks up

1076
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 3: for summer in a week. He's already told me he

1077
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 3: will to spend the first fortnight with me at my house,

1078
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 3: something our parents don't care about. When he's home, it's

1079
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 3: like constant fighting between them. I'm sure some of it

1080
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 3: is his teenage hormones and possibly some of it is

1081
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 3: what I spoke about before.

1082
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you definitely got a lot of teenage hormones

1083
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 4: at thirteen.

1084
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: Definitely.

1085
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 3: I was almost fifteen when Moses came to live with us,

1086
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 3: and I remember our parents explained to me why it

1087
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 3: was important to keep the adoption a secret. Didn't want

1088
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 3: him to feel different, didn't want him to feel bullied,

1089
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 3: et cetera. At the same time, it seemed sensible, so

1090
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 3: I agreed to that and kept it a secret. I

1091
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 3: feel really regretful that I did. Moses talks to me

1092
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 3: about feeling different from the rest of the family, and

1093
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 3: I would reply with things like, no, it's normal to

1094
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 3: feel that way when you're young, et cetera, which looking back,

1095
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 3: I can recognize as almost gaslining him. Something I truly

1096
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: feel guilty about. I never questioned it, not until about

1097
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 3: two years ago when I started to unpack it in

1098
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 3: my mind. But if I am completely honest, I feel guilty,

1099
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,359
Speaker 3: and so I repressed it, but it kept coming back up.

1100
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 3: I did some research into adoption and the trauma it

1101
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 3: can give children, Like I said, those who can't even

1102
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 3: remember being adopted. I have no expertise in psychology. I

1103
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 3: don't claim to be an expert, but this is just

1104
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,359
Speaker 3: what I have gathered from my own research. On one hand,

1105
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 3: telling him could make his relationship with our parents even

1106
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 3: worse than it is. On the other, I feel like

1107
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 3: it can be hidden from him forever, not successfully. I

1108
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 3: don't want to fool myself into thinking it could make

1109
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 3: their relationship better, but I don't see how it could.

1110
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 3: It would give him the satisfaction in knowing he isn't

1111
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 3: crazy or forlfeeling different. The more I thought about it,

1112
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 3: the more I start to resent my parents for forcing

1113
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 3: me in this role of lying to Moses. I started

1114
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 3: to avoid contact with him, to the point they noticed

1115
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 3: I spoke about how I felt, and they told me

1116
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 3: I can't tell Moses and it will make everything worse

1117
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: for him.

1118
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean for real, Like you've put yourself in

1119
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 4: an unwinnable position now, Like, no matter what you do,

1120
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 4: it's like it might not work out for the best.

1121
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 3: Like yeah, but the true I always feel like the

1122
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 3: hard thing to do is always the right thing.

1123
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1124
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 4: Well, I mean from the very beginning they should have Yeah,

1125
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 4: I mean, as soon as he was old enough to

1126
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 4: understand it, they should have been like, okay.

1127
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're adopted. Yeah.

1128
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 5: As soon as he started putting out like the I

1129
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 5: feel different, Like.

1130
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on, they said, if I tell him, they

1131
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 3: will go no contact with me and make it incredibly

1132
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 3: difficult for me to have contact with Moses.

1133
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 5: Boo boo these people.

1134
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 3: Is telling him the right thing to do? Or am

1135
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 3: I just being selfish? I feel like I'm lying all

1136
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 3: the time now, and we have a freaking update.

1137
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:46,879
Speaker 2: We're telling him.

1138
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 4: We tell him immediately, Yep, we tell him right away

1139
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 4: like people. People deserve to live in reality. Yep, especially

1140
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 4: if they are people you care about. And I understand

1141
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 4: the parents have the right to tell him Moses. And

1142
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 4: if they came to him and said, hey, we want

1143
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 4: to wait until he's eighteen to actually tell him, did

1144
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 4: you give me.

1145
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: A game plan? Yeah? But this is his brother. This

1146
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 2: is his brother.

1147
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 5: So does he not have equal you know, sort of?

1148
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 2: I mean maybe not.

1149
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 4: Equal, but I mean they picked him out, op, didn't

1150
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 4: We didn't they you you weren't at the dog pound

1151
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 4: with us when we picked him out. Ope, you don't

1152
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 4: get to say no, it's just not right. It's as

1153
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 4: soon as he himself started saying, I feel different from everybody,

1154
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 4: that's when it should be like all right, because you are. Yeah,

1155
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 4: it's like you don't want him to feel like he's

1156
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 4: saying we don't want him to feel different. It's like, newsflash,

1157
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 4: he already does, so now you need to make him

1158
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 4: feel correct.

1159
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: Before telling him. I got in contact with my friend

1160
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 3: who is a social worker. I asked him, what if

1161
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 3: my brother decided to live with me against my parents wishes?

1162
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 3: What would social services do? He told me, because Moses

1163
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 3: was at an awkward age of thirteen, it would be

1164
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 3: a toss up on whether they would listen to my

1165
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: brother and allow him to stay, or well they would

1166
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,800
Speaker 3: force him to move back with our parents. I was

1167
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 3: advised at periental responsibilities, So if they really pushed, he

1168
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:11,240
Speaker 3: wouldn't be moved back. But if the social worker felt

1169
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 3: he was in any way unsafe, for example Moses saying

1170
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: he would run away if brought back home, they would

1171
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 3: be likely to leave him living with me temporarily. So

1172
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 3: it's a toss up. But Moses could do some swindling.

1173
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you just discussed with Moses. You're like,

1174
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 4: this is how we swindle CPS. They're like, you live

1175
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:30,879
Speaker 4: with me.

1176
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 3: And you have to sign this NBA contract not to

1177
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 3: explain that to the mom.

1178
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 2: Or dad for twelve million dollars.

1179
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 3: I decided to give my parents a final chance tell

1180
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 3: him the truth or I will. They told me that

1181
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 3: in no uncertain terms, will they ever tell him he's adopted,

1182
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 3: and if I do, they will go no contact with me.

1183
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 3: I said, I would rather they tell him, but I

1184
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 3: don't want to be the one to tell him. But

1185
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,360
Speaker 3: I believe he has the right to know. They outright refused.

1186
00:53:56,520 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 3: Moses normally walks home from school, so instead yesterday I

1187
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 3: went to pick him up. I told him we needed

1188
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 3: to talk. I said that mom and dad weren't going

1189
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,760
Speaker 3: to like what I tell him this, but I believe

1190
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 3: he had a ride to know. I explained to him

1191
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 3: the whole thing.

1192
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 4: Wow, I mean he he does have a right to know,

1193
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 4: Like you can make like a call on whether or

1194
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 4: not it would be beneficial for him to know it. Right,

1195
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 4: But once he gets to like thirteen, and he's like,

1196
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 4: I feel different, Like you need to tell him.

1197
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, how he was adopted when he was around one

1198
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 3: and a half. How I didn't know that much about

1199
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 3: his background or where he was before he lived. Thus

1200
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 3: I told him I was fifteen at the time, and

1201
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:41,760
Speaker 3: how mom and dad told me it would be best

1202
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 3: for you not to know, and how I stupidly believed him.

1203
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 3: I said, if he was angry at me, I understood.

1204
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 3: I said I would take him home if he wanted.

1205
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 3: He was clearly in shock, but he asked to come

1206
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 3: to my house. He didn't speak at all on the

1207
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 3: drive home. When we got to my place, he just

1208
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,560
Speaker 3: went into his room and was quiet. I was worried,

1209
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 3: was it sure if I had done the right thing.

1210
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,760
Speaker 3: He came out maybe an hour later and just asked

1211
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 3: me so many questions. I tried my best to answer them,

1212
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 3: but I told him I didn't know a lot. I

1213
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 3: said I would support him in asking Mom and dad.

1214
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 3: He said he didn't want to talk to him. He

1215
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 3: sent a text to them saying he was staying on

1216
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 3: my house for the weekend, something he normally does. Wasn't unusual.

1217
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 3: We put on a film and things were a little tense,

1218
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,320
Speaker 3: but honestly, I expected more from him. He was so quiet.

1219
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:27,440
Speaker 3: He went to bed early, and I was worried. I

1220
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 3: checked up on him every ninety minutes. I bet ope,

1221
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: can't even sleep.

1222
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 4: No, I ope, Kane, I would be completely I'd be like,

1223
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 4: did I just accidentally ruin my brother's life?

1224
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:38,320
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1225
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 3: This morning he was a bit more back to his

1226
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 3: normal self. He said he was thankful that I told him.

1227
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 3: I asked him what he wanted to do. I would

1228
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 3: support him in whatever he chose. If he wanted to

1229
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 3: confront Mom and Dad, I would support him. But if

1230
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 3: he wanted to stay here, he could as long as

1231
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 3: he wanted to. He said he just wanted to process everything.

1232
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,320
Speaker 3: I asked if he had spoken to Mom or Dad,

1233
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 3: and he said beyond saying he was here, No. We

1234
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: played Fortnite together all day and he hasn't brought it

1235
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 3: up again. But he's acting like a weight has been

1236
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 3: lifted off of his shoulders. I thought this would be

1237
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 3: sad news to him, but it seems like he's relieved.

1238
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:12,879
Speaker 3: He's in better sleep.

1239
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 2: Now.

1240
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 3: I'm worried about our parents are going to react, but equally,

1241
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 3: I am glad Moses now knows the truth. I'm glad

1242
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 3: that things seem to be working out. Okay, I hope

1243
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 3: they continue. We have a second up.

1244
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 5: Oh, second update. I bet you it's not a good one.

1245
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 2: Okay.

1246
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 4: I feel like it'll be good for Moses, but maybe

1247
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 4: not for the parents because they're gonna get upset.

1248
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I understand he's not really had a good

1249
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 3: relationship with the parents, but well, let's say like this

1250
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 3: does change Moses and he's able to have a good

1251
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 3: relationship with him. He's like, hey, guys, I am mad.

1252
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 3: He didn't tell me that. I didn't know, but I mean,

1253
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 3: I know he is thirteen. But let's say like he

1254
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 3: takes it really well, the parents are like, oh, we

1255
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 3: were scared over nothing.

1256
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I feel like that's exactly what it's going

1257
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 2: to be.

1258
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,399
Speaker 4: Like He's he's probably gonna be I don't think it's

1259
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 4: exactly gonna be like parents are gonna be mad at

1260
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 4: op yep, and really worried about Moses. And then Moses

1261
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 4: is gonna be like, I mean, I don't even think

1262
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 4: Moses gonna be mad. He's just gonna be like, I

1263
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 4: get where you were coming from, but like, honestly, I.

1264
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,320
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that I know the truth. Yeah.

1265
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 4: And then once he says that, I feel like maybe

1266
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 4: they'll relent their rage directed at ope.

1267
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 3: There won't go no contact if Moses seems to be okay.

1268
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 4: Exactly, once they realize like, Okay, this is actually probably

1269
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 4: a great benefit, like they might just be like thanks

1270
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 4: for telling him.

1271
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 2: We were never gonna do that.

1272
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, we didn't know how he was gonna take it.

1273
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:30,959
Speaker 2: Oh.

1274
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 3: I wanted to give an update on these situations since

1275
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 3: it was my last post. First off, thank you to everyone.

1276
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 3: After I told Moses the truth, I was really worried

1277
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 3: about how we would process everything and what it would

1278
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 3: mean for our relationship and his relationship with our parents

1279
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: moving forward. Moses stayed with me the whole weekend and

1280
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 3: I tried to maintain a sense of normality. I could

1281
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 3: tell he was processing everything, but thankfully he seemed to

1282
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: be relieved to know the truth. Yesterday night we had

1283
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 3: a conversation. He told me about how he always felt

1284
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 3: different and out of place and never really understood why.

1285
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 3: He said knowing his adopted gave him a sense of clarity.

1286
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 3: He said he was unsure how he feels.

1287
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 2: About her parents.

1288
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 3: I'm trying to support him without pushing him in one direction.

1289
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 3: Moses asked me to tell her parents I had told

1290
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 3: him yesterday. Honestly, I didn't want them to know yet,

1291
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 3: but I'm following what he wants.

1292
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:17,400
Speaker 2: Well.

1293
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 3: They predicably did not take the news well, the normal

1294
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 3: of them being furious and accusing me of betraying them

1295
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 3: and purposely ruining their relationship because I was just jealous.

1296
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 3: I wanted to say they were doing fine at ruining

1297
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 3: their relationship without me, but I bit my tongue and

1298
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 3: I told them it was the right thing to do,

1299
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 3: but they didn't listen. They kept saying that keeping the

1300
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 3: adoption a secret was the best way to protect Moses,

1301
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 3: and that revealing the truth would only harm him in

1302
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 3: distabling the family. I told them that Moses already had

1303
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 3: a sense that was something was off, and continuing the

1304
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 3: lie would not do anything but deep in his sense

1305
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 3: of alienation. And you would never be amilated every weekday

1306
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 3: at three PPAs when you tap our profile and join

1307
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:02,919
Speaker 3: us on YouTube live.

1308
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 2: That's correct.

1309
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 3: During the argument, some something one of the commoners said

1310
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 3: started to nag at me. I asked them directly if

1311
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 3: I was also adopted, and it was like they froze,

1312
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 3: no way. They didn't say anything for a good thirty seconds,

1313
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,800
Speaker 3: and when they did, they just dismissed what I said.

1314
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 3: But I could feel something was different. I'm considering taking

1315
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 3: a DNA test to put my mind at ease, But

1316
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's the right thing to do

1317
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 3: right now when it should be focusing on Moses.

1318
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 4: No, dude, that's definitely the right thing to do. Get

1319
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 4: you and Moses a DNA test.

1320
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 3: Right now, Like immediately today, Moses tried to go home

1321
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 3: after school.

1322
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 2: Our parents locked the doors and would have let him in.

1323
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 2: What is wrong with these people, dude?

1324
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 3: They ignored him knocking on the doors and have also

1325
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 3: ignored his text messages to him. He came back to

1326
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 3: my place clearly upset and confused. Moses is such a

1327
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 3: good kid that I think he was willing just to

1328
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 3: move on, But now they've locked him out and he

1329
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 3: feels incredibly hurt and rejected. But I can't understand why

1330
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 3: they would do that to him. I can't understand them

1331
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 3: doing it to me but not him. These people have

1332
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 3: gone off the rock?

1333
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 2: Or is that the story?

1334
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 3: To thee in the story, I'm checking to see if

1335
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:16,440
Speaker 3: there's there's gotta be more. What we gotta check you,

1336
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 3: We gotta see these dns.

1337
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 2: This is beautiful, that's.

1338
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 3: A great story.

1339
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 2: It's insanity crap, dude.

1340
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 4: I refused to let my adopted son choose the movie

1341
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 4: my wife is furious.

1342
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 3: Was it like Big Brother or Cinderella?

1343
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1344
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 2: Who knows.

1345
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 5: We're gonna have to figure out exactly what movie it was.

1346
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 4: I forty five male, have four sons, three biological seventeen,

1347
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 4: fifteen and twelve male, and one adopted thirteen mail. We

1348
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 4: adopted Jake when he was three years old. He came

1349
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 4: from a really difficult background and we've always tried to

1350
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 4: give him as much love and support as possible. But

1351
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 4: if I'm being honest, it hasn't been easy. By the way,

1352
01:00:55,400 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 4: this comes from user Dazzling Pumpkin ninety four hundred on

1353
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime Separated. So Jake has always

1354
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,440
Speaker 4: been more of a challenge compared to my other boys.

1355
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:10,560
Speaker 4: He's extremely sensitive and gets upset over the smallest things

1356
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 4: due to the trauma he experienced early on. Jake is

1357
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 4: mentally and emotionally more like an eight or nine year old,

1358
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 4: even though he's thirteen. This isn't because of any special needs.

1359
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 4: It's just the result of what he's been through When

1360
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 4: he was younger. He struggled a lot in school, to

1361
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 4: the point where he was eventually expelled from his primary

1362
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 4: school for behavioral issues. It was a really tough time

1363
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 4: for our family. We ended up enrolling him in a social,

1364
01:01:33,280 --> 01:01:37,400
Speaker 4: emotional and mental health school, which costs around seventy thousand

1365
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 4: pounds per.

1366
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 3: Year eighty seven thousand dollars.

1367
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 4: While the school has helped him somewhat, Jake still causes

1368
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 4: a lot of problems. The school often calls us because

1369
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 4: Jake's had him meltdown or couldn't handle something, and it's

1370
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 4: clear he needs a lot more attention than our other kids.

1371
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 2: At home.

1372
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 4: Jake's neediness can be overwhelming. He's constantly seeking reassurance and

1373
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 4: gets upset if things don't.

1374
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 5: Go exactly his way.

1375
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 4: My wife has always been very patient with him, maybe

1376
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 4: too patient in my opinion.

1377
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 2: She tends to.

1378
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 4: Cater to his needs a lot more than the other boys,

1379
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 4: and I can see it starting to wear on them.

1380
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 4: I can tell they're starting to feel like Jake gets

1381
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 4: special treatment. It's kind of like a reverse of the

1382
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,680
Speaker 4: typical right, where it's like the adopted child is getting

1383
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 4: special treatment and the biological children are like, hey, how

1384
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 4: come you love the adopted kids so much?

1385
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 5: When I feel like it's usually the opposite.

1386
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 2: This is interesting.

1387
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 5: I mean, hey, he'll probably grow out of it, right,

1388
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 5: he just needs time.

1389
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 2: He just needs time and care.

1390
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:39,320
Speaker 4: I also wonder why he is acting like this. Well, trauma, trauma.

1391
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 4: It's it always goes back to trauma, folks. Earlier today,

1392
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 4: during our usual Saturday family movie night, this issue came

1393
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 4: to a head. We always vote on the movie to

1394
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 4: keep things fair. The older boys and I wanted to

1395
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 4: watch the first Avengers movie. When we voted, Jake was

1396
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 4: the only one who wanted to watch Spider Verse instead.

1397
01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 4: Jake loves Spider Verse and we've won it several times before.

1398
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 4: Seeing how upset Jake was getting, my wife suggested that

1399
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 4: we just watch Spider Verse to avoid a meltdown.

1400
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 5: No, but you can't do that.

1401
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 2: Can't keep doing that.

1402
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 5: Nah, you can't do that.

1403
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 2: It's dangerous.

1404
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 5: Then they just have meltdown anytime they want what they want.

1405
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1406
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 4: She felt it wasn't worth the fight and wanted to

1407
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 4: keep the peace, especially considering how sensitive Jake is. But

1408
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 4: I felt like it wasn't fair to the other boys

1409
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:27,640
Speaker 4: who had won the vote fairly. I said, no, we're

1410
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,440
Speaker 4: sticking to the movie that won the vote. Jake predictably

1411
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 4: got really upset, stormed off to his room and refused

1412
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 4: to come back downstairs after the movie, my wife and

1413
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,439
Speaker 4: I had a huge argument. She said I was being

1414
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 4: too harsh and that I don't understand how difficult things

1415
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 4: are for Jake because of his past. She thinks I

1416
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 4: should have just let him have his way to avoid

1417
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 4: the conflict. But I'm tired of walking on eggshells and

1418
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 4: constantly giving in to Jake at the expense of the

1419
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 4: other boys. Yeah, can't be at the expense of the

1420
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:55,880
Speaker 4: other kids.

1421
01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not.

1422
01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 5: And he's and this is feels like it's a learned behaveavior.

1423
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 4: Jake at this point has learned that if he throws

1424
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 4: a tantrum, he'll get what he wants. He gets what

1425
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 4: he wants, and if he just doesn't relent, he will

1426
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 4: always win.

1427
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what it sounds like he's learned.

1428
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 4: I don't think it's right to let Jake dictate everything

1429
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 4: just because he's more sensitive. Am I the a hole

1430
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 4: for not letting my adopted son choose the movie on

1431
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,840
Speaker 4: family movie night even though it upset him and led

1432
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,000
Speaker 4: to a huge argument with my wife.

1433
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 2: Let's decide. Uh, no, you're not there, I say no.

1434
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 3: I understand that Jake is probably going through a lot

1435
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,840
Speaker 3: more than your other boys, and maybe I would. You know,

1436
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 3: I'm always about seeking a professional. Try to understand that.

1437
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 3: But if you like let this, you know, behavior continue,

1438
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,960
Speaker 3: they're not gonna be functioning adults because his parents, like

1439
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:48,160
Speaker 3: my parents always taught me.

1440
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 2: My mom maybe do laundry at ten.

1441
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,840
Speaker 4: You got you gotta find the right opportunity to like

1442
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 4: have these life lessons.

1443
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:55,720
Speaker 2: This is like a perfect one.

1444
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, because she's like, you're not gonna live here all

1445
01:04:57,240 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 3: the time. I can't be doing your laundry all the time.

1446
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 4: Right, So I had a lesson learn how to do laundry,

1447
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 4: because you're gonna need to know that.

1448
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, lesson.

1449
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't always get to pick the movie because

1450
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 4: he didn't win to vote.

1451
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,439
Speaker 3: I also give Avengers a chance. There's a great movie.

1452
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 2: Yeah it's not bad.

1453
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 5: But let's get into this update. Not bad, Well, I mean,

1454
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 5: yeah it's not bad.

1455
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 4: Hi all, This is an update post I made about

1456
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 4: four months ago. For full context, you might want to

1457
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:21,920
Speaker 4: check out the original post. After reading through your comments

1458
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 4: and taking some time to reflect, I came to realize

1459
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,480
Speaker 4: I've been too harsh on Jake, not just regarding the

1460
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 4: movie night incident, but in general. Jake has had a

1461
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 4: difficult journey since he joined our family, but that's not

1462
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:35,040
Speaker 4: his fault. When we chose to adopt him, we committed

1463
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 4: to supporting him through every challenge. He didn't choose his trauma,

1464
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 4: and he certainly didn't choose to end up in a

1465
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 4: family where he might feel different from his siblings. That

1466
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 4: responsibility lies with us. We've made a few changes, starting

1467
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 4: with family movie night. Instead of voting, which often left

1468
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 4: Jake feeling excluded, we've switched to a rotation where each

1469
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:55,000
Speaker 4: person takes a turn picking the movie. This simple change

1470
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 4: has removed a lot of the tension and has made

1471
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 4: movie night feel more inclusive for everyone.

1472
01:05:58,880 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 5: Honestly, that's such a good idea.

1473
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 2: That great about that? I love that.

1474
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:03,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't think just remove the vote. Yeah, just

1475
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 4: let there's no vote. You're choosing dictatorship. Yeah, I honestly

1476
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 4: can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. Thank you

1477
01:06:09,360 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 4: to everyone who suggested it. In hindsight, I realized my

1478
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 4: original post felt more like a venting session, and I

1479
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 4: regret the way that I spoke about Jake. I needed

1480
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 4: to get those feelings out, but now I understand it

1481
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 4: wasn't fair to talk about him in that way, even anonymously.

1482
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:24,320
Speaker 5: Did we really whiff on that?

1483
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:26,360
Speaker 2: Dang? Do we miss do not catch up?

1484
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 4: We missed that entirely, Dan, Dangow do we hate adopted children?

1485
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 2: I guess we're about to get ripped to shreds right now.

1486
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,920
Speaker 5: We hate adopted people?

1487
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 2: I guess. I guess that's I guess that's it.

1488
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:39,400
Speaker 3: Dang, just because from a movie.

1489
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 2: Man, Wow, he was just venting.

1490
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:44,600
Speaker 3: He was just vincing. We see where he's coming from.

1491
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 3: We weren't saying anyone was bad.

1492
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know what, you know what.

1493
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 3: I stand by everything I said. I didn't say Jake

1494
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 3: was bad. I didn't say that that was bad. I

1495
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:53,680
Speaker 3: was just like, stand up.

1496
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 4: I think the only thing we were saying is like,

1497
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 4: you can't just let a kid have anything they want

1498
01:06:58,320 --> 01:06:58,920
Speaker 4: when they throw.

1499
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:02,160
Speaker 5: A tantrum because you your teaching them day they can

1500
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 5: just start.

1501
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 3: I stand by everything I say. You know what, shreds.

1502
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 3: I don't care.

1503
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 5: But it's also trauma oriented.

1504
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:11,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, but still even with that, I said, secret for us,

1505
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,360
Speaker 4: he can't. Since then, I've started journaling to work through

1506
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 4: my emotions privately and with a clearer head.

1507
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 5: I'm really grateful for the wake up call. Your comments provided.

1508
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 4: One point raised repeatedly in the comments was the glass

1509
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 4: child concept, the idea that our other boys might feel

1510
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:29,480
Speaker 4: overlooked because of Jake's needs. That really hit home for me.

1511
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 4: To address this, we've started a new Sunday tradition. Each Sunday,

1512
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 4: I take one of our boys out for a full day,

1513
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,400
Speaker 4: just the two of us, doing something that he chooses.

1514
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,479
Speaker 4: It's been great for all of us and has given

1515
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 4: me precious one on one time with each of my sons.

1516
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,120
Speaker 4: My relationship with them feels stronger, and it's something I

1517
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 4: look forward to every week. Jake and I also had

1518
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 4: a long heart to heart after my original post opened

1519
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:54,320
Speaker 4: up about feeling like his opinions and wants don't matter

1520
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 4: and that he sometimes believes.

1521
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,280
Speaker 2: I love my other boys more. Oh No.

1522
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 4: Hearing that broke my heart, and I took responsibility for

1523
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 4: my role in making him feel this way. His early

1524
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 4: trauma definitely impacts his sense of security, but I can't

1525
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 4: ignore that my own behavior contributed to it as well.

1526
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:14,720
Speaker 4: I'm committed to showing him that he's just as valued

1527
01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:17,560
Speaker 4: and loved as his brothers, and by the way, I

1528
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,400
Speaker 4: would value and love you if you joined us every

1529
01:08:20,400 --> 01:08:23,839
Speaker 4: weekday at three PMPST. When we go live on YouTube,

1530
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:26,400
Speaker 4: all you gotta do is tap our profile easy money,

1531
01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 4: and then maybe tap it again. You might have to

1532
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:30,280
Speaker 4: tap it twice, maybe.

1533
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:30,840
Speaker 2: Tap it and then tap it again.

1534
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 3: This story is so wholesome.

1535
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah.

1536
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 3: I like that everyone is sharing their feelings, and I

1537
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 3: feel like when more people share where they're coming from,

1538
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,439
Speaker 3: we get clarity of where everybody's at.

1539
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:44,360
Speaker 5: I feel like it's this started as like maybe a

1540
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:45,599
Speaker 5: little VENTI just being.

1541
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 2: Like, oh, my my thirteen year old daughter is so.

1542
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:50,240
Speaker 4: Hard to deal with, and now he's like when I

1543
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 4: have a game plan and my life is uh, my

1544
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,240
Speaker 4: relationship with all of my children are stronger than it's been.

1545
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:56,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1546
01:08:57,040 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I just kind have vin ses and get

1547
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 3: ideas from other people. This is what this is how

1548
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 3: beautiful it can turn out to be.

1549
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:07,439
Speaker 4: Sometimes sometimes Internet is just a beautiful little place.

1550
01:09:07,520 --> 01:09:09,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and lots of times it's not.

1551
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, But so so let's make sure it is by

1552
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:16,200
Speaker 4: finishing this story off. Finally, some people asked about therapy.

1553
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 4: Jake's been on the waiting list for a more specialized

1554
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 4: therapist for a while now, well before I made the

1555
01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 4: original post. In the meantime, he does receive some therapy

1556
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:28,960
Speaker 4: through his school and general therapy through child and adolescent

1557
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 4: mental health services, which helps, but we know he'll benefit

1558
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 4: much more once he has a consistent access to a

1559
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:38,000
Speaker 4: trauma informed therapist. We're hopeful this will come through soon.

1560
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,720
Speaker 4: Thanks again to everyone who shared insights and advice. These

1561
01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:43,240
Speaker 4: changes have made a huge difference in our family's dynamics

1562
01:09:43,240 --> 01:09:45,519
Speaker 4: and I feel closer to all my sons. I'm working

1563
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:48,120
Speaker 4: every day to be a better parent to Jake and

1564
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,759
Speaker 4: a more balanced dad for all of our kids.

1565
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:53,840
Speaker 2: Wow, that was nice. I love that.

1566
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 4: Love it when somebody is willing to put in the

1567
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,000
Speaker 4: work and they're not afraid of therapy.

1568
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,519
Speaker 5: They see it as a positive.

1569
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 2: And he's putting in the work, putting it in guys.

1570
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:06,519
Speaker 3: Nice, beautiful, congrats And that's the end of that story.

1571
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:07,440
Speaker 2: End episode