1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Hey Bessies, Hello Sunshine. Today on the bright Side, we're 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:11,039 Speaker 1: joined by best selling author Gabby Bernstein. She's here to 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: help us kick off twenty twenty five with purpose and positivity. 4 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,240 Speaker 1: She'll be sharing insights from her brand new book self Help, 5 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: plus tips on how to set intentions, find balance, and 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: make this your. 7 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 2: Best year yet. So if you've been curious. 8 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: About manifestation, today is the show for you. It's Wednesday, 9 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: January eighth. I'm Danielle Robe. 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 3: And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side 11 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 3: from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together 12 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 3: to share women's stories, laugh, learn, and brighten your day. 13 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: Okay, we're starting today's show out with a bang because 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: we have a very exciting announcement. Are you ready for 15 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: January's Reese's Book Club book? 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 2: Are you ready, Simone? Yes? Okay? 17 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: It is The Three Lives of Kate k by Kate Fagan. 18 00:00:59,320 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 4: Yes, y'all. 19 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 3: This book tells the secret history of fictitious author Kate Ka, 20 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 3: the writer behind a best selling trilogy that no one 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 3: has ever met. 22 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: And this is Kate Fagan's first novel. She started her 23 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: career as a sports journalist and has published a number 24 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: of nonfiction books about the sports world. 25 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 3: And as always, we will be hosting Kate Fagan here 26 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 3: on the bright Side later this month, so keep your 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 3: eyes out for that conversation. 28 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: Today, we'll be talking to another fantastic author, somebody whose 29 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: name you might be familiar with. Gabby Bernstein is here 30 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: and her mission is to help people transform their lives 31 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: by empowering them to connect with their inner guidance, to 32 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: heal from past wounds, and manifest their desires through spirituality, 33 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: self awareness, and practical tools. 34 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: Simone, I know you like the practical part. 35 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,559 Speaker 1: And Gabby is a motivational speaker, a best selling author, 36 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: and a spiritual teacher. And what I love about Gabby's 37 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: work is she says it's accessible to everyone. 38 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is actually her tenth book. You may have 39 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 3: read her other books like The Universe Has Your Back 40 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 3: and Super Attractor. This book is called self Help, and 41 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 3: I think that's such an interesting title, Danielle, because it's 42 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 3: on its face, it's so generic. You would think there 43 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 3: have been thousands of books entitled self help. But she 44 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 3: says that that was actually intentional to make sure that 45 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 3: this book reached the people who are really deliberate about 46 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 3: optimizing and changing their lives. I really really enjoyed this book. 47 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 3: I found it to be so practical, as you mentioned, Danielle, 48 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 3: and I've actually been doing some of the check ins 49 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,959 Speaker 3: that she talks about in this book to cultivate more 50 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 3: curiosity and compassion with yourself. So I just think this 51 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 3: book is like a really powerful way to start the 52 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 3: new year, which is why we're so happy to welcome 53 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 3: Gabby to the show. 54 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: She's really a lot of people's first touch points with 55 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: manifestation and self work. So I love that you mentioned 56 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: the title because I think the titles of all of 57 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: her books sort of are an invitation. They're very much 58 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: welcoming you and meeting you exactly where you're at. 59 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's really her superpower. Well let's go ahead 60 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 3: and bring her in. Gabby Bernstein, Welcome to the bright Side. 61 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,239 Speaker 3: Thanks guys, so good to be here. 62 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 2: We're so happy to have you. 63 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 4: Thanks. Gabby. 64 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 3: You are such a force. You have guided millions toward 65 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 3: their best selves. And now just when we thought you 66 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 3: couldn't enlighten us more, you are back with a brand 67 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 3: new book entitled self Help. You've written extensively about manifesting, 68 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 3: about recovering from trauma and self love. But this book 69 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 3: really pinpoints a specific type of therapy called internal family systems. 70 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 3: Would you tell us the core principle of the internal 71 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 3: family system? 72 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 4: Yeah? 73 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 5: And you know, it is a little bit of a 74 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 5: detour this book, because this is my tenth book, by 75 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 5: the way, and I think that I've said most of 76 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 5: my books, I've written all of my books, I've written 77 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 5: for myself first, but this one I wrote for the 78 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 5: reader first, because it's based on a therapy called internal 79 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 5: family systems therapy. That it's a therapy I practiced in 80 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 5: my own life, went on to get trained in become 81 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 5: a practitioner in, and it was so deeply healed and 82 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 5: moved by it and befriended the founder of it, that 83 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 5: I knew it was my calling to demystify it and 84 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 5: democratize it. And so that's what I've done through this book, 85 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 5: And I've taken a therapy and turned it into a 86 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 5: self help practice. So the self help practice inside this 87 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 5: book is informed by internal family systems therapy IFS, and 88 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 5: it has nothing to do with your external family, not nothing, 89 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 5: but it's really about your inner family of all these 90 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 5: different aspects and parts of ourselves, and so we all 91 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 5: have these forms of protection mechanisms. Maybe you've had an 92 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 5: experience where you've done something very extreme and you walked 93 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 5: away and I don't know what happened. Something took over, 94 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 5: a part of me took over. That way, we define 95 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 5: these patterns, behaviors, and sometimes even belief systems are what 96 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 5: in ifs we would call protector parts protection mechanisms. And 97 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 5: we often live our lives in these very protective ways, 98 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 5: and so we have these protection mechanisms called protector parts, 99 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 5: and we have to ask ourselves, well, who are these 100 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 5: protectors protecting? And these protectors are protecting Actually, very very 101 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 5: young experiences, young child parts of us. At young ages, 102 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 5: we all experienced trauma, big t or small tea, no 103 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 5: matter how big the trauma was. We experienced things as 104 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 5: children that we could not process, and we very likely 105 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 5: did not have a parent that was able to help 106 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 5: us process those big experiences. So, those big experiences of 107 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 5: feeling shame or inadequacy, or feeling unlovable or not good 108 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 5: enough for in some cases terror and fear were so 109 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 5: big for our little child brains that we said, I'm 110 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 5: never going to feel that again, and we exiled those feelings, 111 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 5: and we built up these protection mechanisms, and we've been 112 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 5: living in these protection mechanisms. Wow, and these protectors are 113 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 5: protecting those exiled feelings, are protecting us from feeling those 114 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 5: exiled feelings. 115 00:05:55,200 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 3: Okay, I want to unpack our protectors are exiled parts arts, 116 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 3: But first I want you to take us back to 117 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 3: your breakthrough with IFS, because it's clear that it changed 118 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 3: your life. How did it change you and influence the 119 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 3: message up this book? 120 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 5: Well, the beauty of IFS is that we have all 121 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 5: these protectors, but we also have what's called self. And 122 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 5: self is this resourced, undamaged, creative, calm, connected presence. And 123 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 5: we might call it the God within us, or the 124 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 5: spirit within us, or the creative force within us. And 125 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 5: in practicing IFS in my own therapy, I started to 126 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 5: notice this new energy begin to emerge inside of me, 127 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 5: this energy of creativity, this energy of calmness, and I 128 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 5: started to notice that I could actually self soothe. And 129 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,720 Speaker 5: around twenty twenty, I was watching a YouTube video with 130 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 5: an interview of this man, doctor Richard Schwartz, and he 131 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 5: was talking about this therapy that he invented. And I 132 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 5: didn't know that I'd been doing IFS therapy with my 133 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 5: therapist for all these years, and I had no idea 134 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 5: that this was what I was doing. And I hear 135 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 5: him talking about it, and I'm like, oh my god, 136 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 5: that's the therapy I've been doing this whole time. And 137 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 5: right away I knew that I wanted to learn everything 138 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 5: I could from this man. So I read every book, 139 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 5: I listened to every interview. In twenty twenty one, I 140 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 5: started my own podcast and he was the third person 141 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 5: I interviewed on the show. And from the moment that 142 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 5: I met him on that zoom, it was just an 143 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 5: instant friendship, instant connection. And I said to him, you know, 144 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 5: I'm super psychic. I know that I'm supposed to bring 145 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 5: this message into the world and democratize this work. I 146 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 5: just feel that in my body. And he said, I 147 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 5: feel that too, and I'm going to recommend that you 148 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 5: definitely do the practitioner training. Well, I'm not a therapist. 149 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 5: I am trained in IFS. Getting trained in it actually 150 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 5: allowed me to really start doing it more and more 151 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 5: on myself and then allowed me to develop this four 152 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 5: step practice, which is not IFS. It's a self help 153 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 5: practice that's informed by ifs okay. 154 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: Do you want to share the four steps, Let's do it. 155 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 5: Before where we get into the four steps, I want 156 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 5: to let you understand what happens in these steps is 157 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 5: that when we offer compassion and curiosity and connection to 158 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 5: these parts, self emerges and self with a capital S 159 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 5: is these qualities of that love within us. It's like 160 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 5: an internal parent, an inner healer. Self is like the 161 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 5: God energy, the love energy, the Buddha nature, the spirit 162 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 5: within us, the intuition, and self has these qualities of 163 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 5: curiosity and connection, creativity, compassion, confidence, courage. We have this 164 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 5: self in us. And so when we do these four 165 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 5: steps in this practice, we start to allow these protectors 166 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 5: to soften and the self energy emerges. And I'll stop 167 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 5: talking about it and let you experience it. Okay. So 168 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 5: both of you, Danielle and Simone and listeners think of 169 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,679 Speaker 5: a protector part. And so you might not know yet 170 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 5: or be able to label that yet. So maybe you 171 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 5: have anxiety, maybe you have a belief on repeat that's 172 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 5: you know, I'm not good enough, or I got to 173 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 5: people please to feel safe, or I got to stay 174 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 5: in control to feel safe for me. One is if 175 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 5: I'm not doing it, nobody else will. What are those 176 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 5: stories that you repurpose, the habits that you have that 177 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 5: might feel extreme, and so thinking about that protection mechanism 178 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 5: that might be up in your life that's sort of 179 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 5: managing your world. Are you guys clear on your protectors 180 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 5: that you'd check in with? 181 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm thinking about mine. I'm running out of time. 182 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: I'm running out of time. Okay, running out of time. 183 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 5: And the other way you mighte be able to get 184 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 5: to this protectors. You might want to think for yourself, Okay, 185 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,840 Speaker 5: what is it that I want to manifest and attract 186 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 5: in my life? And then when you think about that that, 187 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 5: the next question would be, well, what's blocking it? What 188 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 5: belief is blocking it? That's a protector? Okay, So listeners, 189 00:09:55,400 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 5: Danielle Simone, let's do the first step. I have a 190 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 5: little bit of awareness that there's a protector in our 191 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 5: life that's running the show. And the first step is 192 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 5: to choose to check in with that aspect of ourselves. Okay, 193 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 5: that's step one. So choosing to check in means focusing 194 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 5: your attention inward towards that part of you. Now, then 195 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 5: we can all do this together. And sometimes when you 196 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 5: do this, you might want to close your eyes whatever 197 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 5: feels safe for you. If you're driving, do not close 198 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 5: your eyes. The second step, once you've focused your attention 199 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 5: inward with choosing to check in, the second step is 200 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 5: to become curious about that part of yourself and so 201 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 5: first noticing where it is in your body and giving 202 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 5: it some focus and attention. So just noticing where it 203 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 5: is physically, and then asking the part of you, are 204 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,559 Speaker 5: there any thoughts or feelings or sensations that it wants 205 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 5: to reveal, any images, stories, thoughts? What does it want 206 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 5: to reveal to you? What do you know about it? 207 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 5: And then you might ask that part how long have 208 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,679 Speaker 5: you been around? If I ask you, guys, how long 209 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 5: have those parts been around? What would they say? What 210 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 5: the parts say? 211 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 6: Since I can remember, since I can remember twenty years, 212 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 6: twenty years, yeah, long time, yeah, And so you feel 213 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 6: you've got a little connection to those parts right now 214 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 6: it sounds like you do. 215 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 5: The third step is to compassionately connect to the part 216 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 5: and ask the part right now, what do you need? 217 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 5: And what are you hearing? Simon and Danielle, what do 218 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 5: you guys hear when you ask the part what does 219 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 5: it need? 220 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 3: The first word that popped into my mind is protection, 221 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 3: and I don't know what to make of that. 222 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 5: Okay, okay, whatever it needs, we'll hear it. 223 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 2: I heard my dad's voice. 224 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,239 Speaker 5: Do you want to hear you need your dad's voice? Beautiful? 225 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,599 Speaker 2: Yeah. 226 00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 5: And now that you have a little connection to this part, 227 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,840 Speaker 5: you've listened to what it needs. Let it know that 228 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 5: you heard what it needs. Okay, maybe place your hand 229 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 5: on your heart and just give it a little breath, 230 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 5: Just give it some presents. Let that go, Let it 231 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:18,960 Speaker 5: know you're here. And now check in the fourth step, 232 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 5: check for the sea qualities of self. So, how do you, 233 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 5: guys feel right now? 234 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 2: Much calmer than when I came into our conversation. 235 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 3: I feel calm too, less worry, less unrest. 236 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 5: Do you have some clarity guys about the part you 237 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 5: feel little bit more clarity? 238 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? 239 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 5: Yeah? Do you feel a little bit more connected to it? 240 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: I do, m. 241 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, And so these are the sea qualities we'll check for. 242 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 5: Do I feel a little bit more creative right now? 243 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 5: Do I feel curious to get to know more about 244 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,959 Speaker 5: this part of myself? You know, just noticing? Do I 245 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 5: feel compassed to you? Guys? Feel passion for that part 246 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 5: of these parts of yourself. Yeah. 247 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's amazing how instantly transformative. 248 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 5: Just a microdose of compassionists when we tell it, the 249 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 5: micro dose of compassion is exactly right, it's really a 250 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 5: micro dose of self. Yeah. I love that you just 251 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 5: defined it like that, because I've been calling it like 252 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 5: a molecule of self, and it's like a microdose because 253 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 5: it's not like we're going to wake up and just 254 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 5: do this one thing and have this blast of self 255 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 5: cakeover and these parts that have been around for decades 256 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 5: are going to just disappear. Nor do we want that, right, 257 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 5: that would be too jarring for our system, because these 258 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 5: are protection mechanisms that have been in place for decades 259 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 5: and we need them. They have a very supportive role 260 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 5: in our world, right they're keeping us safe. But we 261 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 5: want to help them feel less extreme. And so I 262 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 5: want to give an example. These protectors actually have had 263 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 5: good roles, right, Like my controller wrote ten books in 264 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 5: fourteen years. Okay, So I don't want to stop her 265 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 5: from doing her great work. I just want to help 266 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 5: her feel more calm so that she can do her 267 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 5: great work. Show up with the desire to keep things 268 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 5: in order and do all the great things she does, 269 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 5: but in a less extreme way. 270 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 3: I really appreciate how tangible and practical this is, Gabby, 271 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 3: because if we hear you know, be kind to yourself, 272 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 3: be kind to yourself. But this just feels like something 273 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 3: actionable that I can do. 274 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 5: It is actionable, and I think that that is actually 275 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 5: why I feel so proud to be able to demystify 276 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 5: this method that has been so profound in my life. 277 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 5: So the fact that you can identify it as simple, 278 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 5: simone is such a privilege to hear you say that, 279 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 5: because that was my mission. 280 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: Here. You're saying, this book self help releases negative patterns, 281 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: experience your true power, and manifest your dreams. And that 282 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: last part, I think is really what you are so 283 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: well known for, is the manifestation part of this. And 284 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: so I almost feel like this book was like a 285 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: backtrack in a really helpful workshop way to get to 286 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: the manifestation part and become the person who can manifest. 287 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 2: You nailed it, You're smiling. 288 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, that feels nailed, nailed it, And so unburdening the 289 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 5: beliefs that are manifesting what we don't want allows us 290 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 5: to return to self and manifest what we do want. 291 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: We have to take a short break, but we'll be 292 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: right back with Gabby Bernstein. We're back with Gabby Bernstein. 293 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 3: Gabby, this whole time as we've been talking, I keep 294 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 3: clinging to this word integration or psychological wholeness, which for 295 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 3: me is the real gift that you're giving readers with 296 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 3: this book. And I'm curious what that trait looks like 297 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 3: when it's personified in real life. You have rubbed shoulders 298 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 3: with some of the brightest, most soulful minds on this planet, 299 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 3: and I want to know who are the most integrated 300 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 3: people you've ever met, and why are they different. 301 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 5: The most integrated person I know is doctor Richard Swartz, 302 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 5: who founded IFS. The reason I'll say that is because 303 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 5: he's done so much parts work that his self energy 304 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 5: is so present. And he's a seventy four ish year 305 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 5: old man, but when I'm with him, it feels like 306 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 5: I'm with like a fourteen year old boy. So when 307 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 5: I see people in integration, what it is I'm seeing 308 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 5: is self. I'm seeing that childlike nature, that joy, that presence, 309 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 5: that innocence. Really, because what happens when you're integrated is 310 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 5: that you actually return these parts return to their natural roles, 311 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 5: and the natural roles are children. We were forced into 312 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 5: adult roles as children to protect ourselves from these fears, 313 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 5: and when we actually unburdened those adult roles, we can 314 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 5: return to our natural role, which is a childlike state. 315 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 5: This book is going to help so many people. And 316 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 5: I also think parents' moms would really benefit from this 317 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 5: because we can be so punishing to certain parts of ourselves, 318 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 5: and that reparenting work is so key when you become 319 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 5: a parent. How has this practice of ifs influenced your 320 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 5: own parenting? 321 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: Oh? 322 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 5: I use it every day with my child. And you know, 323 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 5: just last night, I was with my son in those 324 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,640 Speaker 5: like magic moments right before bed and that's when all 325 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 5: the truth comes out. 326 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 4: The truth telling happens at like eight oh five pm, 327 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 4: when he's five minutes past his bedtime and we're lying 328 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 4: there and I'm just started checking in with him and 329 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 4: I said something like about he has a ration in 330 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,199 Speaker 4: his arm and he was itching and I was like, oh, 331 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 4: I'm such a bad mommy. 332 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 5: I forgot to put that cream on your arm. And 333 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 5: he said, why did you say you were a bad mommy? 334 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, I didn't mean, and I 335 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 5: was just sort of saying and he's he's like, well, 336 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 5: you know, you're not a bad mommy, but you're a 337 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 5: mommy that's working too hard. Your brain is exploding mommy, 338 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 5: because he's hearing me say these things, you know, like 339 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 5: my brain is just like because I'm dealing with this part. 340 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 5: This part is so controlling, and so it's coming up 341 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 5: and it's coming out and he's witnessing it. And so 342 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 5: instead of saying like no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, 343 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 5: I used the steps. I said, oh, yeah, let's check 344 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 5: in with that. You know that feels hard for you? Huh, Like, 345 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 5: is it hard that mommy's been a little bit stressed 346 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 5: out lately, or you know your your mommy's has to 347 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 5: travel sometimes you notice that, they said. I got curious 348 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,199 Speaker 5: and I was like, what does that feel like for you? 349 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 5: And he's like, I feel I feel like nervous and mad. 350 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 5: And I was like, okay, yeah, I get that, and 351 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,600 Speaker 5: and I got and I said, you know, how long 352 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 5: have you been feeling that way? He's like, oh, I 353 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,439 Speaker 5: feel like this, So what does that mean to you? 354 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 5: Just curiosity, just asking him questions what do you know 355 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 5: about that? And then I said to him what do 356 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,479 Speaker 5: you need? And he said, I need you to be around, Mommy, 357 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 5: I need you to be around. They said, you know what, Ollie, 358 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 5: I'm going to do my best to look at my 359 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 5: schedule tomorrow and see what I can do to have 360 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 5: more time around and to do my best right now 361 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 5: at this time. And I'm going to do that. And 362 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 5: I said, how do you feel? And he said, I 363 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 5: feel calmer. And I didn't even have to ask how 364 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 5: he felt. I could see that we were connected, and 365 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 5: I knew that he felt my self energy, he felt 366 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 5: my curiosity, felt my calmness, he felt my compassion. We 367 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:26,120 Speaker 5: felt connected. He felt clear. Oh, Mommy heard me. Mommy's 368 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 5: checking in with me. Mommy is compassionate towards my feelings. 369 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,280 Speaker 5: Mommy is clear about my needs. Mommy is connected to me. 370 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 5: She is calm with me. Because you know what, with 371 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 5: our kids, we have to be the self for them. 372 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 5: They don't have access to it, so we have to 373 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,360 Speaker 5: be it for them. And if we can be it 374 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 5: for them, just like I did that last night, then 375 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,640 Speaker 5: it may not be that I'm going to be around 376 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 5: you every single day because I gotta travel, but I 377 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,679 Speaker 5: will be the mother that can say I was the 378 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,639 Speaker 5: self energy for him when he needed it. And so 379 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 5: are we going to be perfect parents. A We're gonna 380 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 5: still have to go to work, or we're gonna still 381 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 5: have to show up for our lives. We're gonna do 382 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 5: things that are disappointing. One hundred percent we will. But 383 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 5: we are going to be a self led parent with 384 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 5: self energy that's present so that these children know that 385 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 5: a compassionate, calm, connected, caring, clear presence is in their life. 386 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 5: And with that knowing those burdens of parts will far 387 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 5: less likely, it be far less extreme because by experiencing 388 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 5: our self energy, they recognize their own. 389 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 3: I can't wait to see who Ali becomes when he 390 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 3: grows up. He is going to be the most healed, elevated, 391 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 3: integrated little man. 392 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,159 Speaker 5: Well, you know, I hope so. But you know, it 393 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 5: doesn't matter if you've got Gabby Burns seen as your 394 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 5: mom or whoever is your mom. You're in the world 395 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 5: right This is a world of burdens. But I will 396 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 5: say this for those of us that are mom's dads 397 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 5: listening to this, committed to our personal development, committed to 398 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 5: our spiritual growth, we are absolutely importing the evolution of 399 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 5: a human If we're doing that work on ourselves. 400 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 401 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 5: Period. 402 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,199 Speaker 1: One of my favorite quotes from my mom is that 403 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 1: lessons are caught, not taught, and I really believe that. 404 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: So it sounds like you're exemplifying it for him. 405 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 4: Mm hmm. 406 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 5: That's right. 407 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: We're taking one more break, but don't go anywhere. We'll 408 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 1: be back with more from Gabby Bernstein. And we're back. 409 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: We have to end on the topic of manifestation. Even 410 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: though it's not the core premise of this book necessarily, 411 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: it is still a Gabby Bernstein banger, So be the. 412 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 5: Core promise of this book because we manifest what we believe. 413 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 5: We're manifesting a lot of shit in our life that 414 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 5: we don't want because our beliefs are really burdened. And 415 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 5: when we heal our beliefs, we start to manifest what 416 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 5: we really want. 417 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 3: Okay, Gabby, can I get real with you about manifestation 418 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 3: a moment. So I love the idea of manifesting our beliefs, 419 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 3: that we manifest what we believe. I think that's so true, 420 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 3: and I've seen my life change in huge ways once 421 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 3: I realized that I could harness my thoughts for good. However, 422 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,120 Speaker 3: I struggle with the current cultural narrative around manifestation, which 423 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 3: is manifest it and it comes true if you think 424 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,479 Speaker 3: about it enough, if you dwell on it enough, if 425 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 3: you focus on it enough, it'll come true. And that 426 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 3: just in my personal experience, that's not true. You can 427 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,640 Speaker 3: totally get disappointed by manifestation. 428 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 5: What do you do with that? Like, what do you 429 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 5: do when someone who like. 430 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 3: Me, has their doubts about it comes to you, like, 431 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 3: how do I navigate that while still reaping the benefits 432 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 3: of it? 433 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,360 Speaker 5: You know, at first say like don't look for your 434 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 5: manifesting tips on TikTok okay. And it's cool that it's 435 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 5: in the zeitgeist, and it's cool that it's popularized because 436 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 5: wherever people are getting the guidance to lean towards more 437 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 5: positive thinking is a beautiful thing, it really is. But 438 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 5: what it means to genuinely manifest is that you manifest 439 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 5: who you are. And real manifesting means that you have 440 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 5: clarity about what it is that you desire and that 441 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 5: you have the willingness to do whatever it takes to 442 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 5: undo the blocks to the presence of that desire. And 443 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 5: some of us may enter this conversation not from the 444 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 5: self help perspective. They might say, Okay, you know I 445 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 5: want to start. I want to start simple. Okay, well 446 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 5: it's simple. A simple practice would be to just in 447 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 5: my book Super Attractor, witness the beliefs that are blocking 448 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 5: your manifestations and use the choose again method right, which 449 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 5: is to witness the belief, notice how it makes you feel, 450 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 5: forgive yourself for having that thought, and choose again. And 451 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 5: choosing again is choosing the next best thought. Choosing again 452 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 5: is okay, well, I know that there's a book called 453 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,680 Speaker 5: self help that can help me unpack this thought more. 454 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 5: Or I can listen to that episode with Danielle and 455 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 5: Simone and that will help me. Or I actually have 456 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 5: a lot of resources that I need right now to 457 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 5: grow here in this area or whatever it is. And 458 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,639 Speaker 5: we reach for the next best feeling thought. And we 459 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 5: reach for the next best feeling thought, because manifesting is 460 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 5: about aligning, and manifesting is about being in an energetic, 461 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 5: vibrational match to what it is that you desire. And 462 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 5: so if we're walking around with a belief that makes 463 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 5: us feel really uncertain or really unsettled or really scared, 464 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 5: then we're not in alignment with what we desire, and 465 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:33,199 Speaker 5: we're blocking the manifestation. So the answer people want is 466 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 5: the quick fix. Someone they want the quick fix, the 467 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 5: quick fix. Maybe you'll have a little like hint of 468 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 5: you know, oh the universes around me and I feel 469 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,679 Speaker 5: that and that's cool and that will change things. But 470 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 5: if you don't heal the core beliefs, whatever you attract 471 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 5: into your life won't last. 472 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 1: Yabby, I met you during a really hard time in 473 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: my life, and I was really nervous going into our 474 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:02,639 Speaker 1: conversation because I know how spiritually connected you are, and 475 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 1: I thought, is she going to be able to tell? 476 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 2: She's gonna know. 477 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:11,159 Speaker 5: We're all going through difficult times in our life, but 478 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 5: there's seasons, right, there's moments that are harder than others. 479 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, And in our conversation, I was at the precipice 480 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: of understanding and trying to understand manifestation, trying to read 481 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: your books, and I couldn't quite grasp it. And you 482 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 1: said something in our conversation that made it click for me. 483 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 1: You said, the fastest way to achieve success in every 484 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 1: area of life is to assume the energy of joy. 485 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: So if you do not know where to start, if 486 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 1: you are new to manifesting. I'm wondering, especially as we're 487 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: going into this new year, can you share or elaborate 488 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 1: on why joy is such a specific factor in this equation. 489 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, if you're like, I don't know if I'm ready 490 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,360 Speaker 5: to do a big self help book, or I don't 491 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 5: know if I'm ready for therapy, or I don't know 492 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 5: if I can and even resonate with the manifesting book 493 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,360 Speaker 5: quite yet, the best piece of advice is to go 494 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 5: do more of what brings you joy, and in those 495 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 5: moments where joy, so it could be cooking, could be creating, 496 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 5: could be spending time with certain friends, do more of 497 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 5: what brings you joy. Because when you're in joy, you're 498 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 5: connecting to self, and self is what manifests. 499 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 3: What Danielle's not telling you is that her word for 500 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 3: twenty twenty five is joy. 501 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 5: It is what I will recommend to you, please, because 502 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,880 Speaker 5: you showed interest and desire to do self help. Is 503 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 5: that when you notice yourself pushing and trying and controlling, 504 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 5: do the check in and then go do something that 505 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 5: brings you joy. 506 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 2: Interesting, Okay, I want to put that on the Yeah, 507 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:55,640 Speaker 2: tell me. 508 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 5: Because when we're in these places where we're kind of 509 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 5: like in our part, right, and it sounds like for 510 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 5: you it's like overdoing or over overworking, or whatever it 511 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 5: might be. For all of us we have them. We 512 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,159 Speaker 5: might want to go like, well, let me go do 513 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 5: something joyful and just go do something over it. Right, Yes, 514 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 5: that's a better habit than getting stuck in the negative, 515 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 5: one hundred percent better habit. But the real flex, the 516 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 5: real manifesting flex, the real next level of this, which 517 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 5: I know you asked for, is to check in with 518 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,120 Speaker 5: the part that feels like it needs to do do 519 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 5: do do do? Do one minute with it. Choose to 520 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 5: check in, be curious, ask what it needs to compassionate 521 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 5: connection and check for the seas, get back to a 522 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,120 Speaker 5: little bit more self energy, and then go do something fun. 523 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,160 Speaker 5: Then do bring more joy. 524 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 1: You know, this is incredibly helpful because the idea of 525 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:57,359 Speaker 1: just trying to go do something joyful is intimidating to 526 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: me almost and doesn't feel it even possible. Like sometimes 527 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,440 Speaker 1: when you're in work mode, you can't just go like 528 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 1: jump in the ocean. 529 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,679 Speaker 2: You know, no you can't. So the check in is 530 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 2: the step I was missing. 531 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,360 Speaker 5: The work mode is a protector, so you don't want 532 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 5: to override the protector. You check in with the protector 533 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,880 Speaker 5: and ease it out a bit. You get a little 534 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 5: self energy and from that place you say, Okay, can 535 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 5: I go jump in the ocean now? Or can I 536 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,879 Speaker 5: just go for a walk right now? Can I do 537 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 5: something different right now? 538 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 2: Thank you for that. 539 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,679 Speaker 1: Do you have a word of the year creativity? Ooh, 540 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: I'm excited to see how that manifests. 541 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 5: Oh girl, it's coming bigger than ever. I'm mean, I'm 542 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 5: actually getting teary when I say it. 543 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 2: Why is it making you emotional? 544 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 5: Because I've felt very disconnected from it for a while. 545 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 5: The belief if I don't do it, nobody else will 546 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 5: has really been taking over, which is very misaligned with 547 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 5: that creative force. And so as a result of taking 548 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 5: care of that little girl that try to do it 549 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 5: all to make sure everything's done, I'm taking care of her, 550 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 5: and then in taking care of her and getting her 551 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 5: needs met, which is getting more help, means I have 552 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:06,960 Speaker 5: more space. 553 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 3: To be creative, fantastic. I think creativity is eternally linked 554 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 3: to the inner child. 555 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 2: Whenever I think about. 556 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 5: It self right and self self is what the inner 557 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 5: child is truly meant to be. 558 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 2: In Thanks, for always sharing so much of yourself. 559 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 5: Gabby, I love you, guys. Thank you for making me 560 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 5: cry at the end here. 561 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 2: We love you, Thanks guys. 562 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 1: Gabby Bernstein is the author of self help and the 563 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: host of the Dear Gabby podcast. You can find all 564 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: her work at Gabbybernstein dot com. 565 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 2: That's it for today's show. 566 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: Tomorrow, we're talking to the founder and executive chair of 567 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,959 Speaker 1: Bumble about how to make the perfect dating profile. 568 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 2: We can't wait to talk with Whitney wolf Heard. 569 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 3: Join the conversation using hash the bright Side and connect 570 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 3: with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram 571 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 3: and at the bright Side Pod on TikTok Oh, and 572 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 3: feel free to tag us at simone Voice and at 573 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 3: danielle Robe. 574 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, 575 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 576 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 3: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.