Speaker 1: Most people are focused on the result based call, which is,
Speaker 1: when I lose forty pounds, then I will have hit
Speaker 1: my goal. That is a result. You still set the
Speaker 1: result base goal. But then what you do is you
Speaker 1: create something that's called daily action based goals. As long
Speaker 1: as I get these things done every single day, it
Speaker 1: is a success. Hi.
Speaker 2: Everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come
Speaker 2: to become happier, healthier, and more healed today. My guest
Speaker 2: is a dear friend, Rob Doll, leading mindset coach and
Speaker 2: the host of the Mindset Mentor podcast. If you haven't
Speaker 2: subscribed to his make sure you do, helping millions rewired
Speaker 2: their thoughts and their habits. If you're feeling stuck, unmotivated,
Speaker 2: or just don't know where to start, this conversation will
Speaker 2: show you how to finally get out of your own
Speaker 2: way and achieve the life you've always wanted. Please welcome
Speaker 2: back to the show one of your favorites and my
Speaker 2: good friend, Rob Dah. Rob, it's great to have you back.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm so excited to be here. Man. I love
Speaker 1: being here with you. Dude.
Speaker 2: The last time you were here, our episode just crush
Speaker 2: like people loved it. The comments were crazy, views were awesome.
Speaker 2: I just love how cut you are.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: There's no bs. It's really practical, pragmatic advice. Anyone can
Speaker 2: do it. You don't have to have a starting point
Speaker 2: of money or followers or success, and I think that
Speaker 2: lands really well. The first question I have for you
Speaker 2: is what can someone today listening do to be ahead
Speaker 2: of ninety nine percent of people?
Speaker 1: H I think the main thing that people can do
Speaker 1: if they want to be ahead, depending on what a
Speaker 1: head means to them, is I think that they can
Speaker 1: develop their discipline within themselves. I think that one thing
Speaker 1: that I've become really obsessed with over the past couple
Speaker 1: of years is thinking about the idea of discipline, because
Speaker 1: I think discipline has a very bad connotation, like if
Speaker 1: if somebody does something wrong, then they're disciplined, or a
Speaker 1: dog's supposed to be doing something wrong, you discipline a
Speaker 1: child discipline. But I think that the connotation that we
Speaker 1: have with discipline is actually incorrect. I think discipline, if
Speaker 1: used correctly, is possibly the greatest form of self love,
Speaker 1: because you don't have to have any discipline to do
Speaker 1: something that's not good for you. So if you want to,
Speaker 1: you know, sleep in every single day of your life.
Speaker 1: You don't have to have discipline for that. If you
Speaker 1: don't want to go to the gym, you don't have
Speaker 1: to discipline for that. If you want to just eat
Speaker 1: the crappiest food that's out there, you don't need discipline
Speaker 1: for it. But if you want to wake up earlier,
Speaker 1: you want to you know, make sales calls, grow a business,
Speaker 1: if you want to get your body in the healthiest
Speaker 1: shape you possibly can, you need discipline for it. And
Speaker 1: discipline is always needed for something that is good for you.
Speaker 1: And so the thing that I think people need to
Speaker 1: do is they need to develop a different relationship with
Speaker 1: discipline so that they don't think I'm doing this because
Speaker 1: I hate myself, because something's wrong, or because whatever it
Speaker 1: might be. It's I'm going to become a more disciplined
Speaker 1: person because I love myself so much. And for me, like,
Speaker 1: I wasn't a disciplined person at all before I developed,
Speaker 1: you know, got into self development. I was, you know,
Speaker 1: number one was I was a surfer. I was a stoner.
Speaker 1: I did a bunch of drugs, did a bunch of partying.
Speaker 1: I slept in, made excuses, never made any money, never
Speaker 1: really had a whole lot of happiness. And then when
Speaker 1: I was nineteen years old, I got into a sales
Speaker 1: company and I learned, Okay, if I'm going to sit
Speaker 1: down and make phone calls, hundreds of phone calls to
Speaker 1: people who have no clue that I'm about to call
Speaker 1: them every single day, I need to be disciplined. And
Speaker 1: it was it was a thing of Okay, I know
Speaker 1: what my life could be if I take this action,
Speaker 1: and my life will be better if I take this action.
Speaker 1: I don't want to take this action, but I know
Speaker 1: that my life will be better if I take this action.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to take this action because I know
Speaker 1: future me will thank me for it. And what's really
Speaker 1: cool about discipline, there's a whole lot of science and
Speaker 1: neuroscience has been found there's a part of your brain
Speaker 1: called the interior mid singulate cortex, which is basically where
Speaker 1: they're thinking that discipline and willpower come from. And so
Speaker 1: like for people who are athletes, like professional athletes, they
Speaker 1: have a larger than average interior mid singular cortext than
Speaker 1: the average person, not because they were born that way,
Speaker 1: but because of the fact that they grew it. It's
Speaker 1: like a muscle inside of you know, you want to
Speaker 1: work your biceps. If you just do a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of curls, your biceps are going to get bigger. It
Speaker 1: works the exact same thing with the way with this
Speaker 1: part of your brain. So they have found that people
Speaker 1: who have very little discipline, very little willpower people who
Speaker 1: are you know, extremely obese. That they found I have
Speaker 1: a small mid interior singular cortex, but if they start
Speaker 1: working out and doing things that they don't want to do,
Speaker 1: but things that are good for them, that part of
Speaker 1: their brain actually grows. And so I think if people
Speaker 1: need to figure out how do I get ahead of
Speaker 1: other people, the thing that I think is, well, what
Speaker 1: is everybody else doing? And do the exact opposite. Most
Speaker 1: people are hanging out on their phone, They're not doing
Speaker 1: a whole lot. And so I'm looking at that and going, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the exact opposite. I'm going to
Speaker 1: do the things I don't want to do that I
Speaker 1: know they're good for me. I'm going to develop a
Speaker 1: different relationship with discipline. I'm going to be more consistent
Speaker 1: in everything that I do. And I think if people
Speaker 1: just do that for a long enough period, of time,
Speaker 1: then their entire life is going to change.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can agree more. And I think what you're
Speaker 2: getting at is that discipline is the ability to choose discomfort. Yes,
Speaker 2: when your mind and brain want to do the easy.
Speaker 1: Thing, we always want comfort.
Speaker 2: We always want comfort. And I think that's partly the
Speaker 2: challenge where I think anyone who's listening right now will
Speaker 2: go Rob, You're right. I know I need to wake
Speaker 2: up early. I know my phone distracts me. I know
Speaker 2: I want to work out. I know I want to
Speaker 2: build my business. I know I want to get better
Speaker 2: at sales. I know that, but I can't do it.
Speaker 2: And I try, and maybe I do it for three days,
Speaker 2: and then I fall off again. And I get this
Speaker 2: a lot. I travel a time, I work crazy. Even
Speaker 2: last night I was messaging a friend and I'm literally
Speaker 2: flying to next week. I'm flying to Australia for one day.
Speaker 2: I'll be there for twelve hours and I'm coming back
Speaker 2: because i have something that I'm excited for, work, my friend,
Speaker 2: and then I'll go back to work the next day
Speaker 2: after I land here, and I'll work out and do
Speaker 2: everything all over again. And my friend was like to me,
Speaker 2: how do you do it like, how do you not
Speaker 2: get burnt out? And there were two answers. One was
Speaker 2: everything is dedicated to the craft, So my whole life
Speaker 2: is structured in a way that I can do that.
Speaker 2: That means I sleep on time, when I'm fully in control,
Speaker 2: I work out five days a week, I eat right.
Speaker 2: There's discipline that then allows me to do things that
Speaker 2: sound crazy but then still recover because the supplements and
Speaker 2: everything are in place. And yes, everything is dedicated to
Speaker 2: the craft, which I love. The second part of it
Speaker 2: is is that I'm good at also saying no to
Speaker 2: things that maybe I even want to do that might
Speaker 2: be fun and laid back, but because the craft is
Speaker 2: the priority right now, I'm willing to forego. So when
Speaker 2: you hear that, someone would say, well, Jay, that sounds
Speaker 2: boring because you're just living your life in that way,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, no, this is meaningful to me.
Speaker 2: But I guess the biggest challenge people have is, Jay,
Speaker 2: I know that I want to do that, but I
Speaker 2: don't have to change my habits. I don't know how
Speaker 2: to build that. What would you say to that person?
Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the things that I say is I
Speaker 1: have this phrase where I just say, shrink the store
Speaker 1: of something. So there's a couple aspects of it. The
Speaker 1: first thing is, if you want to do something, it's
Speaker 1: easier to make the start of it as as short
Speaker 1: as you possibly can. So, like, let's say that I
Speaker 1: don't want to go running in the morning, but I
Speaker 1: know that I do want to go running in the
Speaker 1: morning for the betterment of me, Well, then how can
Speaker 1: I make it? Knowing that humans resist change as much
Speaker 1: as possible, and if it takes more than fifteen seconds
Speaker 1: to do it, a lot of times we won't do it.
Speaker 1: So if it's like I'm going to shrink the start
Speaker 1: of making myself go for a run in the morning,
Speaker 1: so I know every morning I wake up and I
Speaker 1: brush my teeth, you know, go to the bathroom, I
Speaker 1: get water, I brush my teeth. That's what I do.
Speaker 1: Then I'm going to take my running clothes and I'm
Speaker 1: going to put them right next to the sink, and
Speaker 1: if I really want to shrink the start, go to
Speaker 1: bed with them on. You know, if you're waking up
Speaker 1: early and you want a cup of coffee, the thing
Speaker 1: that you want to do is make sure that you
Speaker 1: get a coffee maker that has an automatic timer on
Speaker 1: it so that by the time I'm done walking out
Speaker 1: of my room and into the kitchen, my coffee's already made,
Speaker 1: there's already water next to it. I just got to
Speaker 1: throw my shoes on. So it's like, how do I
Speaker 1: shrink the start? Because we're going to resist doing something,
Speaker 1: how do I shrink the start? Is the first part
Speaker 1: of it to make it easier for me to do
Speaker 1: the other side of it as well. And I've known
Speaker 1: you now for you know, nine years. You work like this.
Speaker 1: You work, dude, but you are so passionate about what
Speaker 1: you do. And that's the other thing I think people
Speaker 1: need to realize is is it's really hard to force
Speaker 1: yourself to do something that you don't want to do.
Speaker 1: And if you think about this, I know that when
Speaker 1: I worked jobs that I hated, that didn't feel like
Speaker 1: it was my life purpose, it used way more energy
Speaker 1: physical but especially mental energy to get myself up in
Speaker 1: the morning, to have to take a shower, to wear
Speaker 1: a suit, to drive thirty minutes stuck in traffic with
Speaker 1: a bunch of other people who are pissed off, honking
Speaker 1: at each other, to go to a job for eight
Speaker 1: or nine hours that I didn't enjoy it all to
Speaker 1: go back home and sit in that traffic again and
Speaker 1: then go and eat some food and watch some TV
Speaker 1: and know that that I'm going to have to do
Speaker 1: that every day, work day for the next forty years
Speaker 1: of my life. Do you know much physical but mental
Speaker 1: energy that takes from a human like, it's so much?
Speaker 1: And so if you think about it, does it require
Speaker 1: energy for you to hop on the plane and go
Speaker 1: there for twelve hours and then come back here and
Speaker 1: work and then do your workout? Do this require energy? Yes?
Speaker 1: But I would venturely say because it's something that you love,
Speaker 1: it actually gives you energy more than it strips energy
Speaker 1: from you. When you're doing something that you don't enjoy,
Speaker 1: it steals energy from you. I saw a quote one time,
Speaker 1: and it was something I'm changing it around a little bit,
Speaker 1: but I can't remember exactly what it was, but it
Speaker 1: was something like, if you do something that is out
Speaker 1: of alignment with what your purpose is in this world,
Speaker 1: you will have to come up with the energy for that.
Speaker 1: If you do something that is in alignment with what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing in this world, the universe
Speaker 1: will provide the energy for you. And like for me,
Speaker 1: I know one hundred percent when we get done with
Speaker 1: this podcast episode, I will have more energy then I
Speaker 1: did when I first walked in this Why because this
Speaker 1: is the thing that I think that I was made
Speaker 1: to do, and I am so passionate about that, and
Speaker 1: it gives me energy, and I will have more energy
Speaker 1: throughout the entire day because I'm doing something that I
Speaker 1: actually love. And so I think that for people, if
Speaker 1: you're trying to be disciplined, number one, you can shrink
Speaker 1: the start, But number two, it's like, if you're trying
Speaker 1: to force yourself to do something that you don't love
Speaker 1: and something that doesn't or just something that doesn't feel
Speaker 1: in alignment with who you are, it's going to require
Speaker 1: way more force than anything else.
Speaker 2: I think it's also important with what you're saying as well,
Speaker 2: is that I was working this hard on what I
Speaker 2: love around the time we met. So Rob and I
Speaker 2: have known each other now for nine years, eight nine
Speaker 2: years something like that, and when I met Rob, I
Speaker 2: would say I was starting to work hard. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I wasn't as busy as I am now and productive
Speaker 2: as I am now. I was starting to work what
Speaker 2: I thought was hard then. But I wasn't disciplined in
Speaker 2: my personal habits beyond meditation. I wasn't disciplined my physical wellness,
Speaker 2: so my dire my workout like that wasn't locked in.
Speaker 2: Sleep and meditation have always been two things that I've prioritized,
Speaker 2: and I realized at one point in my life that
Speaker 2: I either had to slow down or I had to
Speaker 2: invest in my health. So I had two choices. I
Speaker 2: either had to slow down, because when you're not eating right,
Speaker 2: and you're not sleeping right, and you're not working out,
Speaker 2: and you're not meditating, you're not doing all the things,
Speaker 2: then I can't keep up at this pace. It's actually impossible.
Speaker 2: I'll kill myself because you're pushing yourself so hard. But
Speaker 2: when you're doing all those things, you realize you can
Speaker 2: do more. So I had that choice, and I don't
Speaker 2: think there's a right answer to that choice. I think
Speaker 2: investing in your health there's always a good idea and
Speaker 2: you can still slow down. For me, it was okay, well,
Speaker 2: let's see how high I can perform, and putting all
Speaker 2: that time and energy to do that has helped me.
Speaker 2: Now it does get to a certain point in the
Speaker 2: year where I'm like all right, Yeah, I'm you know,
Speaker 2: I think I pushed it this year, like I'm good, yeah,
Speaker 2: and then I take a month off for Christmas now,
Speaker 2: so I'm very you know, look forward to that. But
Speaker 2: the reason I got into that was to ask you
Speaker 2: this question of when people don't have what they love
Speaker 2: and we've been there before. You just talked about you
Speaker 2: as I've been there before. When you're actually doing a
Speaker 2: job that you don't love, don't enjoy what you do,
Speaker 2: is there any way to bring energy and get energy
Speaker 2: from it?
Speaker 1: It can be. I mean, there's if it depends on
Speaker 1: if somebody's like, oh, I absolutely hate my job, I
Speaker 1: hate my boss, I hate everything about my life. I
Speaker 1: think that's you know, that's where you just need to go.
Speaker 1: All right. If you're thirty five years old, you say
Speaker 1: you're forty years old, you're forty years old, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I've built this life that I'm just not necessarily in
Speaker 1: love with. Well, if you, you know, are lucky enough
Speaker 1: to live to eighty years old, then life one was
Speaker 1: the first forty years of your life. Life two starts
Speaker 1: this moment, like, you have another forty years. Is it
Speaker 1: going to be easy to make massive changes in your life. No,
Speaker 1: are you gonna have to say no to things that
Speaker 1: you've been saying yes to for a really long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to say no to things. And when
Speaker 1: you're saying no to something, you're saying yes to other things.
Speaker 1: And so if you're in that situation, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like just a whole uprooting of things. And for me,
Speaker 1: I'd rather invest a year, two years, three years uprooting
Speaker 1: things for another thirty seven years of happiness and joy
Speaker 1: and fulfillment. But on the other side of that, you know,
Speaker 1: I think that people have a kind of like a
Speaker 1: misconception of what a purpose or passion is. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: think it's really important for people to take a step
Speaker 1: back and be like, well, if there was a reason
Speaker 1: why I was alive and I was supposed to discover
Speaker 1: what that reason is, what is it? And I always
Speaker 1: tell people it's okay if you are listening to this
Speaker 1: podcast right now and you don't know what your purpose is,
Speaker 1: But it's not okay if you're in that situation to
Speaker 1: wake up every single day and not try to find
Speaker 1: what your purpose is. And your purpose does not have
Speaker 1: to be your paycheck. I'm lucky enough where it is
Speaker 1: you're lucky enough for it is. There's some people that
Speaker 1: are lucky enough for it is. But a purpose could
Speaker 1: be something that you do outside of your paycheck, and
Speaker 1: you use your paycheck to invest into that purpose, whether
Speaker 1: it's a hobby or whatever might be. And so I
Speaker 1: think people get that wrong. And then another aspect of
Speaker 1: purpose that people get wrong is that I think most
Speaker 1: people are trying to find something that they're going to
Speaker 1: do until the day they die. And that's that's a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure. You know, hopefully I lived like one
Speaker 1: hundred years old. I means they got on there sixty
Speaker 1: one years. I'd find something I'm gonna do for sixty
Speaker 1: one years and love every single day. That's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure. So what I think people need to actually
Speaker 1: start looking at themselves as I always use an example
Speaker 1: of like a hummingbird. Right, if you have ever watched
Speaker 1: a hummingbird, they go from one flower, they're there for
Speaker 1: a few seconds, they get the next flower, they're at
Speaker 1: the next flower. I think people should kind of act
Speaker 1: like a hummingbird where they say, Okay, what am I
Speaker 1: really interested in in the next two or three years,
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna that's what my focus is going
Speaker 1: to be. What's what do I love to do that
Speaker 1: I haven't done in a while, what interests me that
Speaker 1: I haven't spent a lot of time, or what's something
Speaker 1: I really want to learn about more? And then I'll
Speaker 1: just follow that thing. And what's really interesting is when
Speaker 1: people kind of follow and the hummingbird thing for ten
Speaker 1: years and they go from one thing to another thing,
Speaker 1: and they have let's say it's undred fifteen years, they
Speaker 1: have three or five things they've tried. The universe has
Speaker 1: this beautiful way of working where those things eventually usually
Speaker 1: line up to find what their purpose is, and they
Speaker 1: needed every single step to get there. So like for me,
Speaker 1: you know, if I think about when I was nineteen
Speaker 1: years old, I got into sales. I got into sales
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be a psychologist. And I got
Speaker 1: into sales and went, oh my god, this is psychology
Speaker 1: in front of me and I'm learning it. And then
Speaker 1: I started managing people. I was like, this is even
Speaker 1: more psychology. I need to fix myself so I can
Speaker 1: help these people out. So it was all of this
Speaker 1: psychology and I, you know, sales was just the kind
Speaker 1: of the vehicle to make me learn psychology. Then I
Speaker 1: started managing people and realizing like how much people hold
Speaker 1: themselves back. They're like, I want to make phone calls,
Speaker 1: but I'm not doing it. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is really interesting to be at this moment and
Speaker 1: to see this, Why are you not making Why are
Speaker 1: you not doing something you want to do? Right? So
Speaker 1: I started becoming obsessed with that, like you have so
Speaker 1: much potential in you, why are you not doing it?
Speaker 1: Then I got out of that and I went into
Speaker 1: corporate sales for a little while, I started to manage people.
Speaker 1: I got into corporate sales, and then in twenty seventeen,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to quit my job because
Speaker 1: I don't love what I do. I'm going to travel
Speaker 1: Europe for six months. And I traveled Europe US she
Speaker 1: was three months. I went for three months. In twenty
Speaker 1: twenty twelve is when I went and backpacked Europe by myself.
Speaker 1: Twenty seventeen, I backpacked my wife for six months. But
Speaker 1: and then I realized, oh my god, like I really
Speaker 1: love traveling, and I have to figure out some sort
Speaker 1: of way to make money so online so I'm not
Speaker 1: stuck to a place, so I can do this and
Speaker 1: I can go and I can do whatever I want.
Speaker 1: Then I was like, I'm going to move to a
Speaker 1: place because I thought I wanted to be a musician.
Speaker 1: I had all the recording equipment, I had the microphone,
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I was like, I'm going to move
Speaker 1: to a city where there's it's a music city, I
Speaker 1: could try to become a musician. So I moved to
Speaker 1: Austin and I had all the record equipment. I was
Speaker 1: there for a couple of years, tried out music. Realize
Speaker 1: I'm not that good, Like I'm just very passionate. I
Speaker 1: love it. I'm okay, but I'm not like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this guy's going to be a star. And then I
Speaker 1: was like one day I was sitting in a place
Speaker 1: called g Since Deli, this chain, and I was with
Speaker 1: my girlfriend at the time, my now wife, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I had this feeling of like I feel
Speaker 1: like I have so much knowledge from books that I've
Speaker 1: read and from working on myself for so long. Then
Speaker 1: this is twenty fifteen, so we're talking nine years I've
Speaker 1: been working on myself. Right, I was like, they must
Speaker 1: start a podcast. And I had this idea and I
Speaker 1: was like, that feels right, like that feels like the
Speaker 1: right thing to do now, mind you, I had all
Speaker 1: of the recording equipment to be able to do so.
Speaker 1: I had been doing songwriting for a really long time,
Speaker 1: so I had become obsessed with taking words and making
Speaker 1: taking a line and making it as valuable as I
Speaker 1: possibly could in that one sentence that I could come
Speaker 1: up with. So I had music. I had all this
Speaker 1: stuff to be able to set up and record a podcast.
Speaker 1: I had the songwriting to be able to write scripts.
Speaker 1: I had the sales in the psychology to be able
Speaker 1: to understand the psychology the managing of people of why
Speaker 1: they don't do what they what they want to do.
Speaker 1: And I was like everything lined up. But it only
Speaker 1: lined up because I started feeling doing and actually following
Speaker 1: what felt right. And so I think, if people are
Speaker 1: trying to find the purpose, don't put so much pressure
Speaker 1: that number one, you have to make a paycheck out
Speaker 1: of it. And number two, that's the thing that you
Speaker 1: have to do until to the day you die. Just
Speaker 1: do it for a little while. And if you fast
Speaker 1: forward ten, fifteen, twenty years, I promise you there's a
Speaker 1: pretty good chance all of those things are going to
Speaker 1: line up. And you're going to go this is the
Speaker 1: reason why I'm alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly why Steve Job says you can't connect
Speaker 2: the dots looking forward, you only can looking backward. And
Speaker 2: I love that example because I often talk about it
Speaker 2: as collecting and connecting. That purpose is a lot more
Speaker 2: about collecting and connecting than it is finding and discovering.
Speaker 2: And so what you did is you collected a lot
Speaker 2: of skills by things you were just interested in, and
Speaker 2: one day all connected. And by the way my life
Speaker 2: is exactly the same, even though totally different to yours,
Speaker 2: is I lived as a monk, so I understood Eastern wisdom,
Speaker 2: which at that time was just my fascination. I then
Speaker 2: worked as a management consultant, where I understood sales, branding, communication,
Speaker 2: all of these other skills that came business skills basically.
Speaker 2: And then I started working in media, where I understood communication.
Speaker 2: Now I had what I wanted to share. I had
Speaker 2: understood communication through media, and I knew how to build
Speaker 2: a business. And then it just connected. But it wasn't strategic.
Speaker 2: It wasn't like I went I'm going to learn this,
Speaker 2: this and this and this and this. It was oh no,
Speaker 2: I can now just connect all these ideas. And as
Speaker 2: I was listening to you speak, I was thinking about
Speaker 2: how there's literally only four key drivers or motivators that
Speaker 2: humans have, setting goals and beating goals. There are some
Speaker 2: people who just love targets and goals. When you talk
Speaker 2: to them, everything is a targeting goal. These people are
Speaker 2: great at sales, they're great CEOs, They're great at building
Speaker 2: businesses and sticking to numbers. Some people just naturally have
Speaker 2: that skill set. Then there are people who are great
Speaker 2: at influencing people, negotiation, persuasion, bringing energy into a remotivation,
Speaker 2: people who know how to influence people. Then you've got
Speaker 2: people who are great at precision. They know how to
Speaker 2: make sure that the camera captures the perfect angle. They
Speaker 2: know how to make sure that the iPhone actually works.
Speaker 2: They know how to make sure that the bridge or
Speaker 2: the elevator, the engineering is actually going to work and
Speaker 2: get to that floor. And then finally you've got people
Speaker 2: who are just good at caring for people. They're just
Speaker 2: good at emotional intelligence, they're good at understanding. You can
Speaker 2: bring that into your workplace. We think that as exactly
Speaker 2: what you said. We think that your passion or your
Speaker 2: pachock or your profession has to be a job you love.
Speaker 2: Now you've done a podcast for ten years now. I've
Speaker 2: done a podcast for nearly seven years now. But if
Speaker 2: someone told me that that was my purpose and that
Speaker 2: was your purpose, I think we'd say no, it's just
Speaker 2: the current iteration of it. Your purpose is far greater
Speaker 2: than that, and so is mine. And so I think
Speaker 2: when we limit our profession and go, oh, I don't
Speaker 2: like my job, what you're missing out on is but
Speaker 2: where could you influence people? Meet goals, be precise, or
Speaker 2: care for people in wherever you are, and practice that
Speaker 2: skill set so that one day you are undeniable. And
Speaker 2: so my question to you is why do we talk
Speaker 2: ourselves out of the things that we're passionate about? Like
Speaker 2: why do we talk ourselves out of Like when you
Speaker 2: had that idea of I want to be a right
Speaker 2: and a musician, you didn't talk yourself out of it.
Speaker 2: You followed it and then took it as far as
Speaker 2: it could and left. Same with me. I didn't talk
Speaker 2: myself out of being a monk. I took the risk,
Speaker 2: and then when I came back I was figuring it out.
Speaker 2: Why do most of us have that idea. We hear
Speaker 2: the voice in our head of you should try sales,
Speaker 2: you should become a musician, you should launch a YouTube channel,
Speaker 2: and then we go, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm
Speaker 2: not going I can't do it. Why do we do that?
Speaker 1: Well? I think I think as humans were naturally lazy.
Speaker 1: Like it's it's we want to stay in our comfort zone.
Speaker 1: It's a protection mechanism. If you're not doing something that
Speaker 1: you want to do, there's a pretty good chance. The
Speaker 1: reason why, in its simplest form, is there's a part
Speaker 1: of you inside of you is trying to protect you
Speaker 1: from something, and so you might have a fear of
Speaker 1: you know, I want to I want to start a
Speaker 1: podcast too, Like these guys have their podcasts and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put myself out there and I record the podcast
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, ah, yeah, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: hold myself back from doing that thing. Anytime you're really
Speaker 1: not doing something that you want to do, there's usually
Speaker 1: some sort of fear that's behind it. And usually the
Speaker 1: fears that we have in our future comes from pain
Speaker 1: that we have in our past. And if you can
Speaker 1: understand that, what my brain is doing is it is
Speaker 1: projecting itself into the future and thinking of all of
Speaker 1: the things that could go wrong as a protection mechanism
Speaker 1: from something that I'm triggered that I haven't healed from
Speaker 1: my past, and so like, for instance, let's go with
Speaker 1: the podcast example. Right, I'm sitting there, I've recorded three
Speaker 1: podcast episodes. I want to hit publish, and I'm not
Speaker 1: doing it. If I'm sitting there and I notice myself,
Speaker 1: we all get there, like I've there's no part of
Speaker 1: me that has mastered at all. I deal with the
Speaker 1: exact same things. It's just I've kind of, over twenty
Speaker 1: years of working myself become more self aware of when
Speaker 1: I'm in those moments and I'm like, okay, I'm holding
Speaker 1: myself back from hitting published. What's going on here? Like
Speaker 1: what's behind this? And if I'm like do I want
Speaker 1: to do it? Yes? Why am I not doing it?
Speaker 1: Am I afraid of something? You know? What? I am
Speaker 1: afraid of something? What exactly am I afraid of? I'm
Speaker 1: afraid that if I put this out there then people
Speaker 1: are going to judge me. Okay, that's the fear that
Speaker 1: lives in my future. What pain does this remind me
Speaker 1: of in my past? And usually be able to go.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of that one time when I was
Speaker 1: bullied in seventh grade, and it reminds me of the
Speaker 1: time that I was in bullied in ninth grade. It
Speaker 1: reminds me of the time that my you know, I
Speaker 1: got a bad grade and my teacher called me stupid.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I believe that first off, I believe
Speaker 1: that all of this is just a game. Right. So
Speaker 1: it's like, there's so much purpose and importance in what
Speaker 1: we do. And we talked about this last time us here.
Speaker 1: It's so important what we do, but it is so
Speaker 1: unimportant what we do in the grand scheme of the universe.
Speaker 1: And you know, billions of years that this has all
Speaker 1: been around. It's so important, but it's so unimportant. So
Speaker 1: you can you can get caught up in the drama,
Speaker 1: but you can also remove yourself from the drama and
Speaker 1: you can look at it and say, Okay, I'm in
Speaker 1: a situation I want to push publish. I'm really afraid.
Speaker 1: What I believe is that when those moments pop up,
Speaker 1: all of those moments that pop up our life is
Speaker 1: a perfectly crafted curriculum for our soul to learn what
Speaker 1: it's supposed to learn in the moment that it's here.
Speaker 1: And so if I'm going, Okay, this is the thing
Speaker 1: that I want to do, I'm not doing it. It's
Speaker 1: the universe coming to me in this moment through this
Speaker 1: predicament to show me, rob this is the thing that
Speaker 1: you need to work on. You need to work on
Speaker 1: this pain that you have in the past. You can
Speaker 1: either heal that side of you, which I think is
Speaker 1: something that people should do, is you'd work on healing themselves.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, if we do take that
Speaker 1: action that we are afraid of, it starts to heal
Speaker 1: that past as well, because we realize we're telling our
Speaker 1: brain this is not dangerous and you won't change yourself overnight.
Speaker 1: But when you've posted ten thousand times on Instagram, like
Speaker 1: I have them, like I don't care if people judge
Speaker 1: me anymore because I've just seen so much of it.
Speaker 1: Get It's kind of like exposure therapy. You're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm publishing again. Yeah I'm cold calling people and they're
Speaker 1: hanging up on me again. It's exposure therapy. And so
Speaker 1: I think if people can become more aware in those
Speaker 1: moments and be like, Okay, I want to do something,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. There's something in my past that's
Speaker 1: not healed. I need to work on healing this. But
Speaker 1: another thing that I could also do is just push
Speaker 1: publish and just be okay with it. And so it's
Speaker 1: those little moments I think where the universe is showing us,
Speaker 1: this is what you need to work on. Please move forward,
Speaker 1: just even a tiny step in the right direction, to
Speaker 1: prove to your brain the defense mechanism is trying to
Speaker 1: protect you. You're safe, You're not going to die. Everything's
Speaker 1: going to be okay.
Speaker 2: That worry that we have of what people think of us, or,
Speaker 2: like you said, is a fear from deeper within that
Speaker 2: we had in our past where someone said something or
Speaker 2: someone felt something about us, and it triggers that. Again,
Speaker 2: it's incredible how much power we give it. And what
Speaker 2: you just said about this evaluation of what we do
Speaker 2: is so important but so insignificant. I love that because
Speaker 2: yesterday I was at an event and someone asked me
Speaker 2: this question, and they said, Jay, what do you want
Speaker 2: your legacy to be? What would you like your legacy
Speaker 2: to be? And I said to them that there was
Speaker 2: a time in my life where I thought that was
Speaker 2: an important thing to reflect on, and over time, I've
Speaker 2: realized it is the thing I think about the least.
Speaker 1: You don't care about that I don't care about it
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: And I said to them, I said, it's because even
Speaker 2: the biggest musicians in the world, if they're lucky, they'll
Speaker 2: be relevant for fifty to one hundred years after they
Speaker 2: pass away. There are only a few things that have
Speaker 2: been around for a thousand years. Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, dinosaurs,
Speaker 2: They somehow made it in there, and it's like, that's it,
Speaker 2: that's it, and so each one of us is going
Speaker 2: to be completely forgotten. And I said, that is the
Speaker 2: most liberating thing in the world to me. And my
Speaker 2: answer to them was, I just feel really lucky that
Speaker 2: I got to be the modern messenger for a five
Speaker 2: thousand year old tradition that has been there before me,
Speaker 2: that will outlast me by thousands and thousands of years.
Speaker 2: And I was just so lucky that I got to
Speaker 2: be today's melman for this subject matter, and how fortunate
Speaker 2: I am that I got to do that. But I
Speaker 2: have no interest because that is the legacy that Eastern
Speaker 2: wisdom that I get to share is going to last
Speaker 2: for thousands and thousands more years, as will Jesus and
Speaker 2: Buddha and dinosaurs and everything else. And it's so freeing
Speaker 2: to note that, to kind of go yeah, like I
Speaker 2: don't have to take it that seriously. Like me uploading
Speaker 2: a video. It's like, one day YouTube will not exist
Speaker 2: and no one will care. And giving yourself that freedom,
Speaker 2: and then when you're making the thing, it's like, this
Speaker 2: is the most important thing. When you're sharing the thing,
Speaker 2: you're like, all right, let's just let it out into
Speaker 2: the world. How do you then deal with that criticism
Speaker 2: that comes in your own mind of I put it
Speaker 2: out there. It's not getting views, it's not getting comments,
Speaker 2: people don't like my art, people don't think, and you
Speaker 2: just get lost now in this like Okay, well I'm
Speaker 2: not going to do it again. Because I had a
Speaker 2: friend who he said to me, I'm going to post
Speaker 2: thirty videos in thirty days. I'm going to commit you.
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. Then he starts posting, and
Speaker 2: he's not happy with the amount of likes, he's not
Speaker 2: happy with the amount of comments. He starts doubting it,
Speaker 2: and then eventually he stops and then doesn't do anymore.
Speaker 2: So there's no more discipline left, no more consistency. And
Speaker 2: I said to him, I said, realistically, you need to
Speaker 2: post every day for two years to even even get
Speaker 2: close to seeing what could happen. Yeah, but thirty days
Speaker 2: isn't really gonna cut it. And so if you've done
Speaker 2: thirty days and then you're not for six months, and
Speaker 2: then you know it's not gonna make sense. But he
Speaker 2: talked himself out of it even after getting started, right,
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you see this all the time.
Speaker 1: Of course. Yeah. I mean, I think the real question
Speaker 1: behind those types of things is why are you doing it? Like? So,
Speaker 1: you know, the thing that I love about what you
Speaker 1: said is is like you're just excited to be the
Speaker 1: person that's giving this message right now, which means that
Speaker 1: you're removing yourself from all of it. It's it's unimportant.
Speaker 1: Like on my drive up here, the only thing I
Speaker 1: kept saying to myself, I just did a prayer and
Speaker 1: I was like, God, please remove me from all of it.
Speaker 1: I don't want it. I don't I don't want the
Speaker 1: fame of it. I don't care about any of it.
Speaker 1: I just want that whoever hears this message to be
Speaker 1: the message that they needed to hear, whether it's one person,
Speaker 1: whether it's millions of people. But I don't want to be,
Speaker 1: you know, on some sort of pedestal for being the
Speaker 1: person that gives it. And there's no real I mean,
Speaker 1: there's no re with Buddha, with Christiana and with Jesus,
Speaker 1: there's no real original thought. Anyways, I'm probably saying somebody
Speaker 1: that someone else is said at some point in time
Speaker 1: in the world, right, And so when I can remove
Speaker 1: myself from needing to see or be important, then it
Speaker 1: makes a lot easier for me. So if somebody's point
Speaker 1: of if we're using posting as the example, is to
Speaker 1: become famous or to make money or to get likes,
Speaker 1: then I think you're going at it from the wrong reasons. Anyways.
Speaker 1: The real thing is, like, why am I doing this
Speaker 1: in the first place. When I first talked with you
Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen, when we were talking about, hey, you
Speaker 1: should start a podcast, I could tell from that moment
Speaker 1: that you wanted to basically take all of this Eastern
Speaker 1: wisdom that had changed your entire life and just teach
Speaker 1: it to other people because you felt obligated to do so.
Speaker 1: When I was sitting in Jason's Deli, and I was
Speaker 1: sitting there and watching people yell at their kids and
Speaker 1: all of this stuff, and it was just like this
Speaker 1: moment of just like you know, if you watch I
Speaker 1: Got someone in a movie when like the world starts
Speaker 1: to get all weird. It got to like a fever
Speaker 1: pi and I was like, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's something inside of me that's
Speaker 1: helped me overcome my trauma for my past of my
Speaker 1: father being an alcoholic and passing away when I was fifteen,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm in a really good place
Speaker 1: from all of that. I feel obligated to teach it.
Speaker 1: It was never from the standpoint of I'm doing this
Speaker 1: because I want to make money or I'm doing this
Speaker 1: because I want to be famous, because nobody made money
Speaker 1: or was famous for podcasts in twenty fifteen anyways. And
Speaker 1: so I think what people should really ask themselves is like,
Speaker 1: what is the real reason why I'm doing this in
Speaker 1: the first place. And you know, if someone has a
Speaker 1: really strong why how to do it will eventually reveal itself.
Speaker 1: And so this one's like I want to make a
Speaker 1: bunch of money. Cool that's great. You can definitely make
Speaker 1: a bunch of money, But I also think that money
Speaker 1: is a byproduct of the value that you give the world.
Speaker 1: And so in my mind, I'm like, if I want
Speaker 1: to make more, can I figure out a way to
Speaker 1: give more value to people? Anyways? And so I think
Speaker 1: it's more of like, can you go and build a
Speaker 1: business and make a bunch of money and be famous
Speaker 1: all my stuff? Sure? Why do you want to do it? Though? Like,
Speaker 1: there's some actors that are that are really good at
Speaker 1: actors because the fact that they want to be rich
Speaker 1: and famous, and they usually burn out. And then there's
Speaker 1: some people that want to be actors because they love
Speaker 1: the craft of being an actor and becoming somebody else
Speaker 1: and having to change themselves. Those people never burn out
Speaker 1: because they have some sort of really strong why that's
Speaker 1: behind what it is that they're doing.
Speaker 2: So I think we both believe that we've been talking
Speaker 2: a lot about consciousness and tens knowing why you're doing something,
Speaker 2: like caring about it, doing something you love, and we
Speaker 2: both know that's important, But I think we both agree
Speaker 2: that competence is equally important. The reason you didn't pursue
Speaker 2: a music career is because you didn't feel you had
Speaker 2: the competence to make it a career beyond it being
Speaker 2: meaningful and thoughtful. And same with me. I love soccer,
Speaker 2: It's my first love. But I'm just not competent enough
Speaker 2: to be a professional soccer player or not have made
Speaker 2: it into any of the needs for that matter. And
Speaker 2: so how does someone build a new skill or competence
Speaker 2: If someone goes, Okay, I want to be a podcaster
Speaker 2: and I need to learn I need I want to
Speaker 2: big comment musician, I need to learn songwriting. I want
Speaker 2: to be a filmmaker, I need to learn editing. How
Speaker 2: do you stop building a new skill? What are the
Speaker 2: steps to building any skill?
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's just I think consistency is the
Speaker 1: biggest point part of it. Like, first off, you have
Speaker 1: to start like most people. I remember watching a video
Speaker 1: years ago of Jared Leto being interviewed, and Jared Letto
Speaker 1: is one of the most famous actors and also a
Speaker 1: really famous musician. He's one the biggest, the highest awards
Speaker 1: that you can win of both of those, right, And
Speaker 1: he said something that was really kind of like eye
Speaker 1: opening for me. He said, when I was a child,
Speaker 1: he was homeschooled, and he saw what people were doing.
Speaker 1: He said, when I was a child, I just realized
Speaker 1: that most people don't start, and as long as I start,
Speaker 1: I'll eventually be so much further ahead of anybody else.
Speaker 1: So I thought that was a really big piece of it.
Speaker 1: The piece that all add on is that if you
Speaker 1: just don't stop, there's a pretty good chance that you're
Speaker 1: gonna win whatever it might be. Now, can can I
Speaker 1: go and just get a soccer ball and then become
Speaker 1: you know, Ronaldo? No, that's not definitely not going to happen.
Speaker 1: I can understand that. I think most people are wise
Speaker 1: enough to know, hey, this probably isn't the route of
Speaker 1: me trying to become a professional at thirty nine years old, right.
Speaker 1: But the thing about it is, I'm of the belief
Speaker 1: that when I do something, I'm not going to stop
Speaker 1: doing it until I get to wherever I feel like
Speaker 1: I want to go. I started business years ago with
Speaker 1: my best friend and another one of our friends was
Speaker 1: there and he's like, why are you starting a business
Speaker 1: with rob? And he was asking us, like what is
Speaker 1: it that you guys liked by each other? And he's
Speaker 1: my friend in a nice way, said Rob's like a cockroach,
Speaker 1: like he just doesn't die. And that's kind of the
Speaker 1: way I've built myself to be is like, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm the most talented person. I don't think I
Speaker 1: have the highest skill set, but I do know that
Speaker 1: when I find something that I want to do, I
Speaker 1: will at least try to play it out as long
Speaker 1: as I possibly can. For me, when I first started
Speaker 1: my podcast episodes, were they that great? No, Like, if
Speaker 1: I listen to my stuff now, it's so cringe to me.
Speaker 1: Ten years down the road, I have developed confidence and
Speaker 1: comp There's a called, you know, the confidence competence loop,
Speaker 1: which is you do I get confidence first or do
Speaker 1: I get competence first. You don't get either one of them,
Speaker 1: but you get both of them once you start doing
Speaker 1: something and you push your skills a little bit more.
Speaker 1: The thing that I love about being a human so much, though,
Speaker 1: that I literally got it tattooed on my hand is
Speaker 1: and I told my wife on our first date. She
Speaker 1: was like, you have any tattoos? I was like, no,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to get this one one day. Is
Speaker 1: the Roman numeral for ten thousand, which is I love
Speaker 1: the idea of the ten thousand hour rule, which is
Speaker 1: if you take ten thousand hours of dedicated practice towards something,
Speaker 1: you can eventually master it. And so for me, I
Speaker 1: was like, I just need to try to get to
Speaker 1: ten thousand hours of dedicated work on something and I
Speaker 1: will probably master that thing. And so if people are
Speaker 1: trying to become better at it, you have to be
Speaker 1: okay with not being good when you first do something.
Speaker 1: There's a quote that says you cannot be a graceful
Speaker 1: master if you will not allow yourself to be a
Speaker 1: foolish beginner. That's good, and you've got to allow yourself
Speaker 1: to be a foolish beginner and screw up and be
Speaker 1: okay with screwing up, but knowing that everything that you're
Speaker 1: doing is getting you closer to being better. And so
Speaker 1: for me, like even with the podcast, when I first
Speaker 1: started it, I was like, I'm just going to do
Speaker 1: it and if I like it, I'm going to keep going.
Speaker 1: And I liked it, and then there was going back
Speaker 1: to the question you asked a minute ago, like you're
Speaker 1: not getting the response that you want in all of
Speaker 1: your likes and all this stuff. I got one email
Speaker 1: when I was getting one hundred downloads. Back in twenty fifteen,
Speaker 1: I got an email two months in from a lady
Speaker 1: that said, I love your podcast. It's the only thing
Speaker 1: that's gotten me out of depression after my father killed
Speaker 1: himself three years ago. And I was like, that's the
Speaker 1: reason why I'm doing it for that person that I
Speaker 1: had this feeling that I would be helping. And she's
Speaker 1: the only one that's emailed me. There's probably people who
Speaker 1: have never sent me an email that I'm helping them
Speaker 1: in some sort of way, and knowing that I'm doing
Speaker 1: that is what's driving me. And so you know, with
Speaker 1: the podcast, for instance, we keep going back to it.
Speaker 1: But in twenty fifteen I started the Mindset Mentor and
Speaker 1: it stayed at the exact same like after a year,
Speaker 1: it kind of leveled off at a certain amount of
Speaker 1: and it was doing well, but it wasn't like one
Speaker 1: of the biggest ones in the world. And then a
Speaker 1: perfect storm happened. So I started twenty fifteen. Twenty twenty happened.
Speaker 1: Three things happened. Number one, COVID happened. People were at
Speaker 1: home and they started listening to podcasts. Number two Apple
Speaker 1: Podcasts came out with the app, and so it was
Speaker 1: a lot easier to listen to podcasts, and number three,
Speaker 1: Spotify came out with podcasts as well. Those three things.
Speaker 1: I went from the same number of downloads every single
Speaker 1: month for about five years to seventy xing it in
Speaker 1: literally three months, and it was like it was like
Speaker 1: the tipping point. It was just consistency, consistency, consistency. Boom,
Speaker 1: it exploded. And that's just what people need to focus on,
Speaker 1: is showing up every single day and putting in the work,
Speaker 1: and it's just compound interest and over time, you eventually
Speaker 1: get to the point where the universe just clicks in
Speaker 1: place and it's like here it is. And I see
Speaker 1: it as a test that God or the universe or
Speaker 1: life puts us through to say, let's see how long
Speaker 1: you'll do this. And I'm going to challenge you every
Speaker 1: single step of the way. And then eventually there is
Speaker 1: a moment in time where I'm going to say this
Speaker 1: is for you. You did it. You've got to the point
Speaker 1: that you want to here's the stuff that you wanted.
Speaker 1: And I see it as a challenge. I'm like, let's
Speaker 1: play the game. I'm down for the challenge. Let's go
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And consistency is so interesting because I think we
Speaker 2: think about consistency as I worked out five days a
Speaker 2: week every week of the year, and reality, consistency is
Speaker 2: one week I worked out three days. The next week,
Speaker 2: I worked out six. This week I worked out four,
Speaker 2: then I worked out five, then I did two, and
Speaker 2: then I did seven. Like, consistency doesn't mean the same
Speaker 2: thing every week. It can shark differently, And I think
Speaker 2: what we get caught in is when we fall off,
Speaker 2: Like anyone ever here who's tried a diet and they
Speaker 2: failed at a diet. Right, We're going to go into
Speaker 2: the new year soon and people are going to be
Speaker 2: making New Year's resolutions. And here's the thing. Most people
Speaker 2: will probably keep it going for two weeks, maybe even
Speaker 2: three weeks, and then they'll have a bad day or
Speaker 2: a bad week, and then we'll throw it out. So
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, I had a great I didn't eat
Speaker 2: sugar for two weeks. I was losing two pounds a
Speaker 2: week for two weeks. I was posting content for two weeks,
Speaker 2: and now the third week I dropped off. Now I'm
Speaker 2: going to throw it all away because I messed up
Speaker 2: and I lost it because I wasn't consistent. How do
Speaker 2: we get back on? Or two questions, is everyone going
Speaker 2: to fall off? And if that's the case, you all,
Speaker 2: if we're all guaranteed to fall off, how do you
Speaker 2: get back on without beating yourself up and making it
Speaker 2: feel like you're never going to get back on.
Speaker 1: There's a couple different aspects of it that I'll go into.
Speaker 1: The First thing is that I see this all the
Speaker 1: time with people, is that they will work out for
Speaker 1: twenty one days and they'll stay on their diet and
Speaker 1: they'll do really well, and then this twenty second day,
Speaker 1: they don't plan correctly, they get on a flight, they
Speaker 1: end up missing it, and then they do what do
Speaker 1: they do? They guilt themselves, they themselves, They shame themselves,
Speaker 1: They talk, trash themselves. I knew you couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: You always do this. You always give up on something.
Speaker 1: They take that one moment in time and they beat
Speaker 1: themselves up for it, versus going, hey, you had a mistake.
Speaker 1: You didn't get this thing done that you wanted to.
Speaker 1: But I'm so proud of you for the twenty one days.
Speaker 1: You have never worked out and kept to a dive
Speaker 1: for twenty one days I'm so proud of you for
Speaker 1: sticking to it, and instead of beating yourself up for
Speaker 1: day twenty two, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna
Speaker 1: look at it as a data point and see what
Speaker 1: did I do wrong that ended up making me not
Speaker 1: be able to stay consistent, so that on day twenty
Speaker 1: three I can continue with the consistency. It's like and
Speaker 1: I love. I think the perfect quote for it is
Speaker 1: James Clear says, every action that you take is a
Speaker 1: vote for the person she wish to become. So if
Speaker 1: you're the person's like, oh, I'm gonna throw in the towel,
Speaker 1: you've decided I'm the type of person that throws in
Speaker 1: the towel. But if you say, hey, I'm going to
Speaker 1: pick myself up. As if my friend calls me and says,
Speaker 1: I worked out really hard for twenty one days, I
Speaker 1: did really good, and today's my twenty second day and
Speaker 1: I screwed up. What should I do? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: be like you suck, You're stupid. I knew you wouldn't
Speaker 1: follow through whatever you say to yourself. No, you're gonna
Speaker 1: say something different to your friend than you would yourself.
Speaker 1: And so that's the first aspect of it. The second
Speaker 1: aspect of it is that I think people think in
Speaker 1: two short of terms. So I saw a statistic one
Speaker 1: time and said, in order to create a habit, it
Speaker 1: takes between sixty to one hundred days. Most people are
Speaker 1: focused on that timeframe. Then if you go further past that,
Speaker 1: in order to change your lifestyle, it takes about twelve
Speaker 1: to eighteen months. In order to change your identity, it
Speaker 1: takes about three to four years. And so for me,
Speaker 1: I realize that if I'm trying to do something, it's
Speaker 1: the same way that I was talking to you earlier
Speaker 1: three to four years. And I'm gonna do this thing,
Speaker 1: and what am I going to have success every single
Speaker 1: step of the way. No, but I'm dedicating my life
Speaker 1: to this thing because of what it's going to give me,
Speaker 1: or my family or the world if I do this thing.
Speaker 1: And so I think if people look a little bit
Speaker 1: more in timeframes of like three to four years, they
Speaker 1: might be able to give themselves more grace. They can
Speaker 1: also just goat a crap out of themself and be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't do this, It's going to
Speaker 1: take so long, or they could say hey, it's a marathon.
Speaker 1: Life is a marathon. If you trip in the first
Speaker 1: mile of the marathon, you don't need to throw in
Speaker 1: the next twenty five miles after that. You just continue
Speaker 1: to keep going and so and it's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why people who end up winning the lottery end
Speaker 1: up I think it's like seventy five eighty percent of
Speaker 1: them end up going back to where they were financially
Speaker 1: within five years, and an average person, I think it's
Speaker 1: ninety or ninety five percent of people who lose twenty
Speaker 1: pounds will gain it back within the next two years.
Speaker 1: Is because of the fact that either their habits changed,
Speaker 1: maybe their lifestyle change, but their identity didn't change. I
Speaker 1: have a friend whose weight goes up and down and
Speaker 1: up and down and up and down, and we've had
Speaker 1: a really deep conversation with it. He's like, I want
Speaker 1: to be in the best physical shape that I possibly can,
Speaker 1: and he'll be really fit, and then he'll be forty
Speaker 1: pounds overweight, back and forth and back and forth. And
Speaker 1: we came to terms of realizing the reason why is
Speaker 1: because he still identifies as the fat kid that he
Speaker 1: was made fun of in middle school. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's the identity shift that we're trying to go for
Speaker 1: is and identity shifts come from a couple different things,
Speaker 1: which is like what we believe about ourselves, but also
Speaker 1: the same time, like what action that we take. So
Speaker 1: like if you would have asked me in twenty fourteen,
Speaker 1: or you a podcast or I'd say no, But now
Speaker 1: I've been doing it for ten years, I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: it's literally part of who I am. Same thing for you,
Speaker 1: and it's only because you've taken consistent enough action then
Speaker 1: now you identify with that thing. And that's what I
Speaker 1: think all of this should be working towards. With consistency
Speaker 1: and with consistency and willpower. Last thing I'll say on
Speaker 1: this is that I think people are like, well, I
Speaker 1: just don't have any willpower. The people that I've found
Speaker 1: who are the most consistent, it's not that they have
Speaker 1: more willpower than the average person. They might, but it
Speaker 1: is they have designed an environment in their life that
Speaker 1: does not test their willpower. I if you put a
Speaker 1: bag of skittles in front of me in my house,
Speaker 1: it's gone today me too, it's gone. But if I
Speaker 1: don't have skittles in my house, I don't eat them.
Speaker 1: So I intentionally try to design my environment to not
Speaker 1: fall into pitfalls that I don't want to fall into,
Speaker 1: to be as productive as I possibly can. Like, if
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get productive work done for two hours,
Speaker 1: my phone's going to be in the kitchen. And so
Speaker 1: it's like, can I design an environment where discipline and
Speaker 1: consistency and willpower are easier versus making it so hard
Speaker 1: on myself?
Speaker 2: Yeah? That I that's to me is the biggest one,
Speaker 2: because yeah, you can't have your refrigerator full of all
Speaker 2: the stuff you don't want to eat. No, all of
Speaker 2: the power. Yeah, yeah, I don't have enough willpower for
Speaker 2: that either. If something's right here, I'm gonna have it.
Speaker 2: That's absolutely And I think people think that people who
Speaker 2: have this amazing willpower and like you're it's right next
Speaker 2: to you, but you're not tempted by I'm like, no way,
Speaker 2: I'm completely seduced by you know, a sugary soda or
Speaker 2: you know a slab of chocolate. We're coming up to
Speaker 2: the new year, and I want to give you my
Speaker 2: answer what I'm thinking, and I want to hear yours.
Speaker 2: If we could give people one mindset to approach twenty
Speaker 2: twenty six with to make it the best year they
Speaker 2: could possibly have. My take, and I want to hear
Speaker 2: yours would be to do less in the sense that
Speaker 2: the one mindset that will save you is instead of
Speaker 2: thinking you want to be the best partner and the
Speaker 2: best workout person and the best professional and the best
Speaker 2: parent and everything, is choose one thing to be really
Speaker 2: good at for season one. And I think about this
Speaker 2: like nature, Nature's good at doing one thing. It's why
Speaker 2: we have four seasons. In this season, it's good at growing.
Speaker 2: In this season, it's good at shedding. In this season,
Speaker 2: it's good at shining, and in this season it's good
Speaker 2: at recovering. And it's like, it's not trying to imagine
Speaker 2: you had a day where it was snowing, stormy, sunny,
Speaker 2: and raining in the same day. You'd be like, this
Speaker 2: is just schizophrenic, Like it's crazy, and there are a
Speaker 2: few places in the world that happens, but it's rare
Speaker 2: and it wouldn't make sense. Like we think of balance
Speaker 2: or we think of success as I'm good at everything.
Speaker 2: And so we go into the new year and go,
Speaker 2: I'm going to this the year I lose weight, This
Speaker 2: is the year I build my company. This is the
Speaker 2: year and we, as Bill Gates said, we overestimate what
Speaker 2: we can do in one year, and we underestimate what
Speaker 2: we can do in ten years. I in January it
Speaker 2: will be ten years since I started being a creator.
Speaker 2: My first video launched jan third, twenty sixteen. And if
Speaker 2: someone told me what we were going to do in
Speaker 2: the last ten years, I would never have believed them
Speaker 2: for sure. But if I tried to do all of
Speaker 2: this in the first twelve months, I would have failed miserably. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so my advice, my biggest minds of the twenty
Speaker 2: twenty six if anyone listening, is do less, prioritize, focus,
Speaker 2: don't try and tick every box. It's okay to fail
Speaker 2: at a bunch of stuff for four months and then
Speaker 2: build up something else. What would be your big mindset
Speaker 2: for twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1: The exact same thing Every year I tell people to
Speaker 1: focus on one thing for one hundred days, because if
Speaker 1: statistically it take sixty six to one hundred days on
Speaker 1: average for someone to create a new habit, then I
Speaker 1: want to just do one thing for one hundred days
Speaker 1: to try to create that habit. Now, the problem is
Speaker 1: is that most people, if they're listening to this podcast.
Speaker 1: They want to be a high performer. They want to
Speaker 1: change their life, they want to make the best life
Speaker 1: they possibly can. So they go, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do three things at one time. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do four things at one time. And I actually think
Speaker 1: that that's a trap of the ego. The ego is
Speaker 1: the identity that's trying to keep you in the exact
Speaker 1: same place, and a trap of the egos to go, well,
Speaker 1: I could do one thing, or if I do three,
Speaker 1: then I'll be three times further later on down the road.
Speaker 1: I think that's a trap of the ego going I'm
Speaker 1: gonna throw too much on their plate. So it's going
Speaker 1: to be too much, and eventually they're going to fail.
Speaker 1: But if I wake up every day and I just
Speaker 1: go I just have to check off one box, and
Speaker 1: if I check off one box it's a success. Then
Speaker 1: I can look at, Okay, what are my goals for
Speaker 1: this year, and looking at my goals, what's the most
Speaker 1: important priority for the next one hundred days, and I
Speaker 1: just have to do that one thing. Now, will you
Speaker 1: fall off in a hundred if I were a betting man,
Speaker 1: yes you will. But how you respond to, like we
Speaker 1: were just talking about, is the most important aspect of it.
Speaker 1: If you say I want to, you know, post a
Speaker 1: piece of content every single day for the next one
Speaker 1: hundred days and you get ninety five days, that's pretty
Speaker 1: dang good. I would say that's success.
Speaker 2: Even fifty would be good, right, But it's like.
Speaker 1: Don't build. You beat yourself up for it if you
Speaker 1: don't get there. So I'd say, focus on one thing.
Speaker 1: And I think in the day that we live in,
Speaker 1: I was talking with somebody yesterday whose daughter wants to
Speaker 1: go to Florence to learn how this very specific part
Speaker 1: of like design of art, and I was like, man, like,
Speaker 1: that's the thing that people really miss nowadays, is like
Speaker 1: wanting to master something and really just get good at
Speaker 1: that thing. Say to yourself, I'm just going to do
Speaker 1: this one thing every single day for the next one
Speaker 1: hundred days. If I fall off, I fall off, no
Speaker 1: big deal. And then at the end of the one
Speaker 1: hundred days, I'll put a reminder in my phone that
Speaker 1: I can look and see. Do I feel like I
Speaker 1: want to continue with this thing? Does it feel like
Speaker 1: it's locked into me and it's a habit, or do
Speaker 1: I want to change it to something else. And if
Speaker 1: they do that, I think it's important because most people
Speaker 1: are trying to do a million things. They want to
Speaker 1: get better at this, They want to learn this and
Speaker 1: this and this and this and this. And I heard
Speaker 1: edsheer and say one time, you could do anything that
Speaker 1: you want to, but you can't do it all at once.
Speaker 1: Can only do one thing at a time that you're
Speaker 1: trying to really get better at. And so it's like,
Speaker 1: for the next one hundred days, this season of my life,
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on this thing and this thing only.
Speaker 1: And I think if people can kind of narrow their
Speaker 1: knowledge and their skill set to just a couple things
Speaker 1: they want to get better at each year, I think
Speaker 1: it'll help them out because most people, I always give
Speaker 1: you example, it's like most people's knowledge and skill set
Speaker 1: is like a mile wide but an inch deep. You're
Speaker 1: never going to get really anything that you want with
Speaker 1: being stuff for being able to talk to people about
Speaker 1: many different subjects, it's like a mile wide but an
Speaker 1: inch deep. I want my knowledge and skill set to
Speaker 1: be an inch wide but a mile deep. And when
Speaker 1: you do that, you actually can start to master something.
Speaker 1: And when you become better at you'll find people will
Speaker 1: ask you to consult them and they'll pay you for it.
Speaker 1: The most successful people that I know are not the
Speaker 1: smartest people in the world, but they're very consistent, they're
Speaker 1: very passionate, they're very disciplined, and they usually just are
Speaker 1: really good at like one thing and that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it's also just like you hear
Speaker 2: people go, I'm going to read a book every week,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you'd be better off reading one book
Speaker 2: a year and applying one lesson from it to your
Speaker 2: point of one as opposed to I would rather I'd
Speaker 2: prefer you read a page every day for one hundred days,
Speaker 2: going off your method of one book and put it
Speaker 2: into practice. Then I read twenty four books this year.
Speaker 2: I read fifty two books this year. There's no achievement
Speaker 2: in that number whatsoever. It's just some arbitrary it's your
Speaker 2: point of it's an inch deep and a mile wide,
Speaker 2: Like that's what it is. It's like, I read fifty
Speaker 2: two books. What do you remember all this random fact
Speaker 2: from this one? Like it doesn't prove anythy books I've
Speaker 2: read in the past three years. Tell me one to
Speaker 2: YOUO many times I've read it probably one hundred which
Speaker 2: one Christian Murty toltal freedom.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, like this thick and it's underline. It's highlighted
Speaker 1: every time because I'm exactly what you're saying. There are
Speaker 1: the smartest people in the world of read book and
Speaker 1: there's so many great books and all this stuff. I
Speaker 1: used to read fifty books a year and be so
Speaker 1: hard too too. But it's like, if you can find
Speaker 1: one book that you feel is going to change your life,
Speaker 1: You're like, I need this thing to be part of me.
Speaker 1: That's what you should become obsessed with. Exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 1: And so it's like, find that book and try to go,
Speaker 1: I'm going to make this book part of me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's exactly what I used to do. I
Speaker 2: used to do. At one point, I was trying to
Speaker 2: read a book a day and I had the time
Speaker 2: for it, and it was great. I learned a lot,
Speaker 2: it was amazing. But I realized living the book was
Speaker 2: far more important than reading the book. And I couldn't
Speaker 2: experiment or practice with three hundred and sixty five ideas
Speaker 2: or fifty two ideas a good practice with a couple,
Speaker 2: and that made all the difference. How should someone think
Speaker 2: about setting goals for twenty twenty six?
Speaker 1: Yeah, good question. I love this one because I did
Speaker 1: it wrong for a long time, like fifteen years. So
Speaker 1: I'm the type person gets excited by goals. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's make it. And I get my wife does not
Speaker 1: want to sit down and make any goals with me,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, let's play in our ear and she's like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't really care to make the goals exactly. It's
Speaker 1: like that's why Roddy Lauren get it well, yeah along
Speaker 1: so well. And so it's like I was I was
Speaker 1: thinking about. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna set my
Speaker 1: goals for the entire year. And so what I came
Speaker 1: to is the more that I've I've learned about neuroscience
Speaker 1: and the way humans work and the shrinking of everything
Speaker 1: that we do, is that most people say, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to lose forty pounds this year.
Speaker 1: That's my number one goal. You know, I'm going to
Speaker 1: listen to what Robin and Jaysha. I'm I'm gonna focus
Speaker 1: on one thing. I'm going to lose forty pounds a year.
Speaker 1: And this is what I need to do to get there.
Speaker 1: The problem with that is this is most of the time,
Speaker 1: you'll go to the gym, you'll work out, then you'll
Speaker 1: come back, you work out for two weeks, you take
Speaker 1: a shower, you see yourself naked in the mirror, and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, still not there yet, right, And people
Speaker 1: will actually make them startself start to feel bad about
Speaker 1: not being at the destination that they want to get to.
Speaker 1: The problem with that is that our brains are addicted
Speaker 1: to dopamine. The most addictive drugs in the entire world
Speaker 1: are high dopaminergic drugs, and we are basically like all
Speaker 1: dope fiends in different ways, Like some people get it
Speaker 1: from working a whole lot, some people get it from
Speaker 1: scrolling on Instagram, and some people get it from watching Netflix,
Speaker 1: and some people get it from you know, being around
Speaker 1: their kids. In all of this, and so, dopamine is
Speaker 1: the chemical of motivation. Whenever we get it, we want
Speaker 1: more of it and we will work hard to go
Speaker 1: get more of it. And so there's a thing that's
Speaker 1: called a dopamine reward system. And this is super important
Speaker 1: for people to start to understand. If you want to
Speaker 1: change your life and become addicted, you know, not a
Speaker 1: bad way, but addicted to the things that you need
Speaker 1: to do to make your life better. You need to
Speaker 1: develop some sort of dopamine reward system. And the way
Speaker 1: you do that is so there's results based goals, which is,
Speaker 1: when I lose forty pounds, then I will have hit
Speaker 1: my goal. That is a result. It is a result
Speaker 1: based goal. I did that for fifteen years. You still
Speaker 1: set the result based goal. But then what you do
Speaker 1: is you create something that's called daily action based goals,
Speaker 1: which are, as long as I get these things done
Speaker 1: every single day, it is a success. Not when I
Speaker 1: lose a forty pounds. It's this success when I do
Speaker 1: this thing, whatever the thing is, and it can change
Speaker 1: each day depending on your diet and whatever is you
Speaker 1: need to do, that is a success. And when you
Speaker 1: have that success, if you can get good at celebrating yourself,
Speaker 1: which sounds weird but neurologically is super important, your brain
Speaker 1: will released dopamine, which then says the action that I
Speaker 1: just made, that I just did made me feel good.
Speaker 1: It gave me dopamine. I want to do it again.
Speaker 1: And so a better way of doing it is if
Speaker 1: I've never been to the gym and I only lose
Speaker 1: forty pounds. And on January first, I say, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to go to the gym. Walking in the door
Speaker 1: is a success, not looking at myself with forty pounds off.
Speaker 1: And then you you got to change the way that
Speaker 1: you speak to yourself. You got to change a way
Speaker 1: to speak yourself. And so you sit there and you go, Okay,
Speaker 1: you walked in the door. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1: You're going to do this. I believe in you. You
Speaker 1: go on and you say, okay, I'm going to go
Speaker 1: on the treadmill for ten minutes. Okay, one minute down,
Speaker 1: You're doing such a good job. Two minutes down. When
Speaker 1: you do these little celebrations, you get this little tiny
Speaker 1: bit of dopamine. Your brain is saying the action that
Speaker 1: was just taken is something that we got dopamin for.
Speaker 1: We want to do it again. When you do your
Speaker 1: first set, you celebrate yourself your second set. I like,
Speaker 1: so when I work out, look myself in the eye
Speaker 1: after it and in my head be like, I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of you doing such a good job. I'm so
Speaker 1: proud of doing such a good job. Then when you
Speaker 1: get done, you're like, man, I feel really good, You're
Speaker 1: more likely to do it again tomorrow. And so what
Speaker 1: you do You create these long term results based goals,
Speaker 1: you shorten them to action based goals, and you be
Speaker 1: done today. And then you develop a system to give
Speaker 1: yourself dopamine to make it feel good, because when it
Speaker 1: feels good and it feels rewarding, you want to show
Speaker 1: up and do it again tomorrow. And if you do
Speaker 1: that every single day, eventually you get semi addicted to
Speaker 1: the process. Like we all know people who have been
Speaker 1: fifty or one hundred pounds overweight, and then you see
Speaker 1: them and they've they never worked out a day in
Speaker 1: their life, and now they work out five days every
Speaker 1: single week. Some of them work out seven days weeks
Speaker 1: because they love it so much. It's because they've learned
Speaker 1: to fall in love with the process. And the people
Speaker 1: who are the most successful in the world are people
Speaker 1: who have fallen in love with the process, not the
Speaker 1: end result. And so if you look at like like,
Speaker 1: for instance, Kobe Bryant, right, he used to wake up
Speaker 1: at four o'clock in the morning every single morning to
Speaker 1: work out, and I don't know if he knew he
Speaker 1: was creating a dopamine award system. But he talks about
Speaker 1: when he talks about mom mentality is his greatest thing
Speaker 1: that he loved about himself, and what made him feel
Speaker 1: the best was the feeling of I'm working out when
Speaker 1: everyone else is sleeping. I will get into my second
Speaker 1: workout when they're starting to get into their first workout.
Speaker 1: I'm twice as far as they are. He created a
Speaker 1: dopamine reward system that got him addicted to the process.
Speaker 1: And when you're addicted to the process, the end result
Speaker 1: is going to be way better. And I think if
Speaker 1: people can do that, I think that the entire year
Speaker 1: wal change for him.
Speaker 2: I've never heard someone explain it like that. I love
Speaker 2: the idea of creating a dopamine reward system. That the
Speaker 2: story he was telling himself was giving him the dopamineep Like,
Speaker 2: that's brilliant, that's so good. And it was funny because
Speaker 2: I was talking to Homer about this, who's you know,
Speaker 2: my videographer just now when you were coming in. We
Speaker 2: were talking about this idea of I work harder today
Speaker 2: than ten years ago when I started, not because I
Speaker 2: have to, not because I think I need to. I
Speaker 2: do it because I love it. I'm engaged, I'm learning,
Speaker 2: I feel I'm becoming better. And I was saying that
Speaker 2: A big part of it, which gives me a lot
Speaker 2: of dopamine. To your point, is I love the universe
Speaker 2: and God knowing that I don't take the life they
Speaker 2: gave me for granted. And so it's a form of gratitude.
Speaker 2: My work ethic is my gratitude to God and the
Speaker 2: universe to repay this incredible gift of life, an opportunity
Speaker 2: that I've been given to live the life that I
Speaker 2: get to live. So now I'm feeling gratitude. That's just
Speaker 2: a story in my head, like that's how I feel
Speaker 2: about it, and it gives me so much dopamine. And
Speaker 2: the second part to that is, therefore, I never want
Speaker 2: to be complacent that something I would have been willing
Speaker 2: to do ten years ago, I'm still willing to do
Speaker 2: it today because I'm not bigger or better. I'm still
Speaker 2: back at the beginning of my journey. I still treat
Speaker 2: it that way. Now, there are certain things you have
Speaker 2: to change and say no to, and of course, but
Speaker 2: overall my mindset is this is day one. We're just
Speaker 2: at the beginning. We're starting out again. And that is
Speaker 2: unbeatable in my mind as the dopamine reactor, but it's
Speaker 2: also unbeatable as a mindset because I'm like, I'm working
Speaker 2: as hard as I did on day one, that the
Speaker 2: day one's got no chance. You know, it's like because
Speaker 2: so to me, it's just but I love the way
Speaker 2: you put it that that's just my way of convincing
Speaker 2: myself to work hard is gratitude and payback, service and purpose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all we are doing is just having stories
Speaker 1: in our head. And the story that you have in
Speaker 1: your head when you're becoming aware of yourself and starting
Speaker 1: to you know, twenty twenty five years old, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I want to work myself. There's things
Speaker 1: that I don't necessarily like about the life that I've built.
Speaker 1: You're becoming aware of the stories that you have in
Speaker 1: your head, and we can you know, it's like the
Speaker 1: example that you see many times when someone's like, all right,
Speaker 1: it's you know, the room that you're in, look around
Speaker 1: and see how many red things you can find. You
Speaker 1: look around for all of the red things, and you
Speaker 1: look around for the red things. They say, close your eyes,
Speaker 1: how many blue things did you see, and everyone's always
Speaker 1: like zero because you weren't looking for that thing. It's
Speaker 1: not that it wasn't there, it's just that you weren't
Speaker 1: looking for it. And so you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: us were We're looking for what's going wrong, what's not
Speaker 1: the way that we want it to be. And that's
Speaker 1: just the perception of the way that we look through
Speaker 1: the world. I mean, humans have you know something that's
Speaker 1: called the negativity bias. We are going to look for
Speaker 1: what's negative, and it's a protection mechanism. We're going to
Speaker 1: look for what's bad, and so we have to change
Speaker 1: ourselves to say I'm going to see a different perspective
Speaker 1: and to find what's positive. Another way of doing that
Speaker 1: is going, okay, I've looked at the world this way
Speaker 1: my end entire life. And with the amount of hours
Speaker 1: that you work, you could be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm working so freaking hard. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: can do this, and that can be the story going
Speaker 1: on in your head. It's gonna be a lot harder
Speaker 1: to work hard. Or you could say I'm so blessed
Speaker 1: I've been given this this body and this brain and
Speaker 1: all of the challenges in life. That I've had to
Speaker 1: get me to this moment. It would be a shame
Speaker 1: if I didn't use it for myself, for the greater
Speaker 1: good of people. It's the exact same circumstance, but it's
Speaker 1: a completely different perception. And I always say, we're all
Speaker 1: looking at the same thing, we're all seeing something different,
Speaker 1: and that's literally how life is. And so if we
Speaker 1: can go all right, like I don't like the way
Speaker 1: that I feel when I look at something through this lens, Okay,
Speaker 1: is it possible for me to see another perspective? And
Speaker 1: if we can find another perspective, you can always find
Speaker 1: another perspective for anything, any circumstances happening in your life,
Speaker 1: and almost always you can find the positive or what
Speaker 1: you can learn from a challenge. And it's not saying
Speaker 1: that it's easy to go through those things and that
Speaker 1: life isn't hard, but it's saying I'm going to try
Speaker 1: to look at a different perspective of my life in
Speaker 1: this circumstance so that I can make something from my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when Days said, when we change the way we
Speaker 2: look at things, the things we look at change, And
Speaker 2: I think it's so fascinating how we're always trying to
Speaker 2: change the situation. And I can't remember who said this,
Speaker 2: but it's a famous quote that says, we're always trying
Speaker 2: to change the situation, not realizing we were put in
Speaker 2: that situation so that we can change. And I think
Speaker 2: another layer to that is what you're saying is not
Speaker 2: only are we always trying to change the situation and
Speaker 2: don't want to change ourself. Sometimes you don't have to
Speaker 2: change yourself fully, you just have to change your lens pient.
Speaker 2: And so there's three things to change your lens, yourself
Speaker 2: or the thing. And all of our focus goes on
Speaker 2: the thing, and life doesn't work well when we only
Speaker 2: focus on the thing. And so when we focus on
Speaker 2: changing ourselves and our lens, all of a sudden, you've
Speaker 2: expanded your opportunity of what to change, because sometimes the
Speaker 2: situation just won't change.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, it won't change. And that's what
Speaker 1: stresses people, is because we want to control most things,
Speaker 1: and we can control almost nothing. Like it's so out
Speaker 1: of everything that happens in your life, you could control
Speaker 1: zero point one percent, Like I would say, like you
Speaker 1: can you think that you could control everything happening around you?
Speaker 1: You can barely control your bowels after Taco Tuesday, Like
Speaker 1: you can barely control that. And You're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: change the universe. I'm gonna change everything around me. It's like,
Speaker 1: maybe instead of changing the universe and changing all the circumstances,
Speaker 1: maybe I should change my relationship to those circumstances and
Speaker 1: see if that helps me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Rob, it's always great having you on the show.
Speaker 2: I always love it so much. I feel like we
Speaker 2: just go back and forth, and Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Enjoy these This is like so much fun. When we
Speaker 1: had we had a quick little break because something happened,
Speaker 1: I was like, man, this is so much fun. I
Speaker 1: love doing that.
Speaker 2: I know me too, And I hope you keep coming
Speaker 2: back on every year because this is I look forward
Speaker 2: to it. I always feel like we're giving people a
Speaker 2: real game plan. Everyone who's listened today, you know how
Speaker 2: to set goals, you know how to build discipline, you
Speaker 2: know how to not be let down by willpower. You've
Speaker 2: got the habit setting you up for the next year.
Speaker 2: You've got the tactics to go forward and have twenty
Speaker 2: twenty six be the best year of your life. And
Speaker 2: I think that's also a story. Like I've convinced myself
Speaker 2: that every year is the best year, it is the
Speaker 2: best year of my life, then yeah, And I don't
Speaker 2: want to look back and think, oh, eighteen was amazing,
Speaker 2: and twenty five was amazing and thirty was amazing. And
Speaker 2: I think people are scared of aging because we think
Speaker 2: it's a story. We think we're moving away from the
Speaker 2: best year of our life. But I promise you every
Speaker 2: year will be the best year of your life. If
Speaker 2: you convince yourself it is, you will find ways to
Speaker 2: make it the one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like, I'm actually you know, I think
Speaker 1: aging is an interesting thing where it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you could sit there and be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't look the same, I've got wrinkles, But you
Speaker 1: can also be like, man, do you how much wiser
Speaker 1: I am than I used to be? Like the stuff
Speaker 1: I did when I was seventeen years old, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't. I would never do any of those things
Speaker 1: now at thirty nine. But I feel like I'm wiser.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm happier, I feel like I'm at
Speaker 1: more p P And those are the things that I'm
Speaker 1: working on the most. And if I can, if I'm
Speaker 1: getting wiser and happier and more joyful and more peace
Speaker 1: Where am I going to be in ten years? Like
Speaker 1: it's only going to continue to get better every single year,
Speaker 1: which is a perception. Right. You could say this is
Speaker 1: going to be the worst year. Oh my god, last
Speaker 1: year socked, blah blah blah. Or you could say, no,
Speaker 1: this is going to be the best year of my life,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to figure out a way to make
Speaker 1: it the best year of my life.
Speaker 2: I think you just added the most important part. I
Speaker 2: think what's really crazy is when we say things like
Speaker 2: I hope this is the best year, and what we're
Speaker 2: saying is it's like saying I hope it's sunny today,
Speaker 2: which you have no control of it. Whereas when you
Speaker 2: go I'm going to make this the best year, it's
Speaker 2: almost like we always got it. What do you want
Speaker 2: out of this year? And it's like, well, no, the
Speaker 2: year is not going to give you anything. Yeah, is
Speaker 2: going to give you what you put in and what
Speaker 2: you build and what you bring in. And I think
Speaker 2: that switch of leading with intention and what you make
Speaker 2: of something, it's almost like when people say I hope
Speaker 2: today's a great day, it's like, no, I'll make today
Speaker 2: a great day. It's a different mindset because I hope
Speaker 2: today is a good day. Means I hope the train
Speaker 2: is empty so there's a seat for me. I hope
Speaker 2: the person at work is nice to me. I hope.
Speaker 2: I mean that you just can't do anything about it.
Speaker 2: But you can walk on the train and find a
Speaker 2: comfortable spot. If you're early, you can go to work
Speaker 2: and bring your best energy to the people who give
Speaker 2: you energy. And I hope this episode helps people claim
Speaker 2: back their control one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a there's a good piece of it. The
Speaker 1: last last thing I'll say that because we talked about
Speaker 1: Buddha and Christian You know, when you think about like
Speaker 1: creating the best day and manifesting the best day, I
Speaker 1: think the best the best thing that's ever been said
Speaker 1: on manifesting was said by Jesus, and he said, whatever
Speaker 1: you pray for and believe that you have received it,
Speaker 1: it will be yours. And if we can just go Okay,
Speaker 1: if you want to pray, you can. If you want
Speaker 1: to whatever it is, journal give gradu to whatever, but
Speaker 1: believe that you have received it, not believe that it's
Speaker 1: coming to you, but believe that you have received it,
Speaker 1: it will be yours. And so if I wait and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going to make today one of the
Speaker 1: best days of my life. I'm going to make this
Speaker 1: year one of the best days of my life. In fact,
Speaker 1: I'm saying it incorrectly. This is the best year of
Speaker 1: my life. This I have received it, This is the
Speaker 1: best your of my life. It will be yours. And
Speaker 1: I think if people can look through that perception and go, well, really,
Speaker 1: wise guy two thousand year set it. I'm not as
Speaker 1: wise as him. Maybe I should just take his advice
Speaker 1: and do what it says.
Speaker 2: You know well, I said, yeah, everyone who's listening and watching,
Speaker 2: make sure you tag us, both me and Rob on
Speaker 2: TikTok on Instagram. I love seeing all the clips you make.
Speaker 2: I want to see what resonates with you, what you're
Speaker 2: experimenting with. We're both wishing you an amazing twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2: I hope you go into the year and absolutely crush it,
Speaker 2: and remember, don't try and do everything, do less, focus
Speaker 2: on one. You can subscribe to the Mindset Mental podcast,
Speaker 2: follow Rob across social media and he'll be back next year.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Nice, I love it, Bro. Thank you, Hava. If this
Speaker 2: year you're trying to live longer, live happier, live healthier,
Speaker 2: go and check out my conversation with the world's biggest
Speaker 2: longevity doctor, Peter Attia on how to slow down aging
Speaker 2: and why your emotional health is directly impacting your physical health.
Speaker 1: Acknowledge that there is surprisingly little known about the relationship
Speaker 1: between nutrition and health, and people are going to be
Speaker 1: shocked to hear that, because I think most people think
Speaker 1: the exact opposite.