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Speaker 1: Most people are focused on the result based call, which is,

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Speaker 1: when I lose forty pounds, then I will have hit

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Speaker 1: my goal. That is a result. You still set the

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Speaker 1: result base goal. But then what you do is you

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Speaker 1: create something that's called daily action based goals. As long

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Speaker 1: as I get these things done every single day, it

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Speaker 1: is a success. Hi.

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Speaker 2: Everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come

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Speaker 2: to become happier, healthier, and more healed today. My guest

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Speaker 2: is a dear friend, Rob Doll, leading mindset coach and

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Speaker 2: the host of the Mindset Mentor podcast. If you haven't

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Speaker 2: subscribed to his make sure you do, helping millions rewired

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Speaker 2: their thoughts and their habits. If you're feeling stuck, unmotivated,

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Speaker 2: or just don't know where to start, this conversation will

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Speaker 2: show you how to finally get out of your own

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Speaker 2: way and achieve the life you've always wanted. Please welcome

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Speaker 2: back to the show one of your favorites and my

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Speaker 2: good friend, Rob Dah. Rob, it's great to have you back.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm so excited to be here. Man. I love

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Speaker 1: being here with you. Dude.

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Speaker 2: The last time you were here, our episode just crush

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Speaker 2: like people loved it. The comments were crazy, views were awesome.

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Speaker 2: I just love how cut you are.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: There's no bs. It's really practical, pragmatic advice. Anyone can

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Speaker 2: do it. You don't have to have a starting point

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Speaker 2: of money or followers or success, and I think that

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Speaker 2: lands really well. The first question I have for you

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Speaker 2: is what can someone today listening do to be ahead

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Speaker 2: of ninety nine percent of people?

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Speaker 1: H I think the main thing that people can do

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Speaker 1: if they want to be ahead, depending on what a

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Speaker 1: head means to them, is I think that they can

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Speaker 1: develop their discipline within themselves. I think that one thing

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Speaker 1: that I've become really obsessed with over the past couple

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Speaker 1: of years is thinking about the idea of discipline, because

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Speaker 1: I think discipline has a very bad connotation, like if

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Speaker 1: if somebody does something wrong, then they're disciplined, or a

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Speaker 1: dog's supposed to be doing something wrong, you discipline a

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Speaker 1: child discipline. But I think that the connotation that we

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Speaker 1: have with discipline is actually incorrect. I think discipline, if

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Speaker 1: used correctly, is possibly the greatest form of self love,

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Speaker 1: because you don't have to have any discipline to do

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Speaker 1: something that's not good for you. So if you want to,

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Speaker 1: you know, sleep in every single day of your life.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to have discipline for that. If you

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Speaker 1: don't want to go to the gym, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to discipline for that. If you want to just eat

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Speaker 1: the crappiest food that's out there, you don't need discipline

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Speaker 1: for it. But if you want to wake up earlier,

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Speaker 1: you want to you know, make sales calls, grow a business,

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Speaker 1: if you want to get your body in the healthiest

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Speaker 1: shape you possibly can, you need discipline for it. And

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Speaker 1: discipline is always needed for something that is good for you.

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Speaker 1: And so the thing that I think people need to

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Speaker 1: do is they need to develop a different relationship with

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Speaker 1: discipline so that they don't think I'm doing this because

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Speaker 1: I hate myself, because something's wrong, or because whatever it

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Speaker 1: might be. It's I'm going to become a more disciplined

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Speaker 1: person because I love myself so much. And for me, like,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't a disciplined person at all before I developed,

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Speaker 1: you know, got into self development. I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: number one was I was a surfer. I was a stoner.

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Speaker 1: I did a bunch of drugs, did a bunch of partying.

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Speaker 1: I slept in, made excuses, never made any money, never

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Speaker 1: really had a whole lot of happiness. And then when

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Speaker 1: I was nineteen years old, I got into a sales

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Speaker 1: company and I learned, Okay, if I'm going to sit

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Speaker 1: down and make phone calls, hundreds of phone calls to

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Speaker 1: people who have no clue that I'm about to call

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Speaker 1: them every single day, I need to be disciplined. And

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Speaker 1: it was it was a thing of Okay, I know

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Speaker 1: what my life could be if I take this action,

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Speaker 1: and my life will be better if I take this action.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to take this action, but I know

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Speaker 1: that my life will be better if I take this action.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to take this action because I know

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Speaker 1: future me will thank me for it. And what's really

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Speaker 1: cool about discipline, there's a whole lot of science and

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Speaker 1: neuroscience has been found there's a part of your brain

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Speaker 1: called the interior mid singulate cortex, which is basically where

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Speaker 1: they're thinking that discipline and willpower come from. And so

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Speaker 1: like for people who are athletes, like professional athletes, they

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Speaker 1: have a larger than average interior mid singular cortext than

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Speaker 1: the average person, not because they were born that way,

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Speaker 1: but because of the fact that they grew it. It's

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Speaker 1: like a muscle inside of you know, you want to

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Speaker 1: work your biceps. If you just do a whole bunch

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Speaker 1: of curls, your biceps are going to get bigger. It

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Speaker 1: works the exact same thing with the way with this

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Speaker 1: part of your brain. So they have found that people

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Speaker 1: who have very little discipline, very little willpower people who

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Speaker 1: are you know, extremely obese. That they found I have

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Speaker 1: a small mid interior singular cortex, but if they start

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Speaker 1: working out and doing things that they don't want to do,

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Speaker 1: but things that are good for them, that part of

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Speaker 1: their brain actually grows. And so I think if people

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Speaker 1: need to figure out how do I get ahead of

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Speaker 1: other people, the thing that I think is, well, what

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Speaker 1: is everybody else doing? And do the exact opposite. Most

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Speaker 1: people are hanging out on their phone, They're not doing

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Speaker 1: a whole lot. And so I'm looking at that and going, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do the exact opposite. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do the things I don't want to do that I

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Speaker 1: know they're good for me. I'm going to develop a

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Speaker 1: different relationship with discipline. I'm going to be more consistent

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Speaker 1: in everything that I do. And I think if people

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Speaker 1: just do that for a long enough period, of time,

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Speaker 1: then their entire life is going to change.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can agree more. And I think what you're

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Speaker 2: getting at is that discipline is the ability to choose discomfort. Yes,

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Speaker 2: when your mind and brain want to do the easy.

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Speaker 1: Thing, we always want comfort.

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Speaker 2: We always want comfort. And I think that's partly the

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Speaker 2: challenge where I think anyone who's listening right now will

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Speaker 2: go Rob, You're right. I know I need to wake

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Speaker 2: up early. I know my phone distracts me. I know

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Speaker 2: I want to work out. I know I want to

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Speaker 2: build my business. I know I want to get better

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Speaker 2: at sales. I know that, but I can't do it.

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Speaker 2: And I try, and maybe I do it for three days,

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Speaker 2: and then I fall off again. And I get this

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Speaker 2: a lot. I travel a time, I work crazy. Even

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Speaker 2: last night I was messaging a friend and I'm literally

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Speaker 2: flying to next week. I'm flying to Australia for one day.

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Speaker 2: I'll be there for twelve hours and I'm coming back

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Speaker 2: because i have something that I'm excited for, work, my friend,

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Speaker 2: and then I'll go back to work the next day

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Speaker 2: after I land here, and I'll work out and do

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Speaker 2: everything all over again. And my friend was like to me,

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Speaker 2: how do you do it like, how do you not

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Speaker 2: get burnt out? And there were two answers. One was

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Speaker 2: everything is dedicated to the craft, So my whole life

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Speaker 2: is structured in a way that I can do that.

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Speaker 2: That means I sleep on time, when I'm fully in control,

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Speaker 2: I work out five days a week, I eat right.

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Speaker 2: There's discipline that then allows me to do things that

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Speaker 2: sound crazy but then still recover because the supplements and

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Speaker 2: everything are in place. And yes, everything is dedicated to

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Speaker 2: the craft, which I love. The second part of it

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Speaker 2: is is that I'm good at also saying no to

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Speaker 2: things that maybe I even want to do that might

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Speaker 2: be fun and laid back, but because the craft is

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Speaker 2: the priority right now, I'm willing to forego. So when

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Speaker 2: you hear that, someone would say, well, Jay, that sounds

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Speaker 2: boring because you're just living your life in that way,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, no, this is meaningful to me.

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Speaker 2: But I guess the biggest challenge people have is, Jay,

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Speaker 2: I know that I want to do that, but I

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Speaker 2: don't have to change my habits. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to build that. What would you say to that person?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the things that I say is I

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Speaker 1: have this phrase where I just say, shrink the store

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Speaker 1: of something. So there's a couple aspects of it. The

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Speaker 1: first thing is, if you want to do something, it's

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Speaker 1: easier to make the start of it as as short

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Speaker 1: as you possibly can. So, like, let's say that I

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Speaker 1: don't want to go running in the morning, but I

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Speaker 1: know that I do want to go running in the

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Speaker 1: morning for the betterment of me, Well, then how can

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Speaker 1: I make it? Knowing that humans resist change as much

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Speaker 1: as possible, and if it takes more than fifteen seconds

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Speaker 1: to do it, a lot of times we won't do it.

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Speaker 1: So if it's like I'm going to shrink the start

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Speaker 1: of making myself go for a run in the morning,

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Speaker 1: so I know every morning I wake up and I

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Speaker 1: brush my teeth, you know, go to the bathroom, I

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Speaker 1: get water, I brush my teeth. That's what I do.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm going to take my running clothes and I'm

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Speaker 1: going to put them right next to the sink, and

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Speaker 1: if I really want to shrink the start, go to

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Speaker 1: bed with them on. You know, if you're waking up

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Speaker 1: early and you want a cup of coffee, the thing

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Speaker 1: that you want to do is make sure that you

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Speaker 1: get a coffee maker that has an automatic timer on

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Speaker 1: it so that by the time I'm done walking out

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Speaker 1: of my room and into the kitchen, my coffee's already made,

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Speaker 1: there's already water next to it. I just got to

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Speaker 1: throw my shoes on. So it's like, how do I

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Speaker 1: shrink the start? Because we're going to resist doing something,

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Speaker 1: how do I shrink the start? Is the first part

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Speaker 1: of it to make it easier for me to do

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Speaker 1: the other side of it as well. And I've known

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Speaker 1: you now for you know, nine years. You work like this.

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Speaker 1: You work, dude, but you are so passionate about what

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Speaker 1: you do. And that's the other thing I think people

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Speaker 1: need to realize is is it's really hard to force

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Speaker 1: yourself to do something that you don't want to do.

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Speaker 1: And if you think about this, I know that when

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Speaker 1: I worked jobs that I hated, that didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: it was my life purpose, it used way more energy

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Speaker 1: physical but especially mental energy to get myself up in

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Speaker 1: the morning, to have to take a shower, to wear

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Speaker 1: a suit, to drive thirty minutes stuck in traffic with

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Speaker 1: a bunch of other people who are pissed off, honking

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Speaker 1: at each other, to go to a job for eight

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Speaker 1: or nine hours that I didn't enjoy it all to

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Speaker 1: go back home and sit in that traffic again and

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Speaker 1: then go and eat some food and watch some TV

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Speaker 1: and know that that I'm going to have to do

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Speaker 1: that every day, work day for the next forty years

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Speaker 1: of my life. Do you know much physical but mental

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Speaker 1: energy that takes from a human like, it's so much?

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Speaker 1: And so if you think about it, does it require

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Speaker 1: energy for you to hop on the plane and go

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Speaker 1: there for twelve hours and then come back here and

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Speaker 1: work and then do your workout? Do this require energy? Yes?

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Speaker 1: But I would venturely say because it's something that you love,

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Speaker 1: it actually gives you energy more than it strips energy

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Speaker 1: from you. When you're doing something that you don't enjoy,

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Speaker 1: it steals energy from you. I saw a quote one time,

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Speaker 1: and it was something I'm changing it around a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but I can't remember exactly what it was, but it

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Speaker 1: was something like, if you do something that is out

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Speaker 1: of alignment with what your purpose is in this world,

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Speaker 1: you will have to come up with the energy for that.

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Speaker 1: If you do something that is in alignment with what

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing in this world, the universe

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Speaker 1: will provide the energy for you. And like for me,

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Speaker 1: I know one hundred percent when we get done with

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Speaker 1: this podcast episode, I will have more energy then I

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Speaker 1: did when I first walked in this Why because this

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Speaker 1: is the thing that I think that I was made

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Speaker 1: to do, and I am so passionate about that, and

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Speaker 1: it gives me energy, and I will have more energy

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Speaker 1: throughout the entire day because I'm doing something that I

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Speaker 1: actually love. And so I think that for people, if

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Speaker 1: you're trying to be disciplined, number one, you can shrink

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Speaker 1: the start, But number two, it's like, if you're trying

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Speaker 1: to force yourself to do something that you don't love

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Speaker 1: and something that doesn't or just something that doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: in alignment with who you are, it's going to require

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Speaker 1: way more force than anything else.

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Speaker 2: I think it's also important with what you're saying as well,

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Speaker 2: is that I was working this hard on what I

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Speaker 2: love around the time we met. So Rob and I

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Speaker 2: have known each other now for nine years, eight nine

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Speaker 2: years something like that, and when I met Rob, I

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Speaker 2: would say I was starting to work hard. I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't as busy as I am now and productive

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Speaker 2: as I am now. I was starting to work what

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Speaker 2: I thought was hard then. But I wasn't disciplined in

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Speaker 2: my personal habits beyond meditation. I wasn't disciplined my physical wellness,

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Speaker 2: so my dire my workout like that wasn't locked in.

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Speaker 2: Sleep and meditation have always been two things that I've prioritized,

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Speaker 2: and I realized at one point in my life that

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Speaker 2: I either had to slow down or I had to

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Speaker 2: invest in my health. So I had two choices. I

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Speaker 2: either had to slow down, because when you're not eating right,

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Speaker 2: and you're not sleeping right, and you're not working out,

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Speaker 2: and you're not meditating, you're not doing all the things,

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Speaker 2: then I can't keep up at this pace. It's actually impossible.

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Speaker 2: I'll kill myself because you're pushing yourself so hard. But

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Speaker 2: when you're doing all those things, you realize you can

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Speaker 2: do more. So I had that choice, and I don't

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Speaker 2: think there's a right answer to that choice. I think

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Speaker 2: investing in your health there's always a good idea and

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Speaker 2: you can still slow down. For me, it was okay, well,

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Speaker 2: let's see how high I can perform, and putting all

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Speaker 2: that time and energy to do that has helped me.

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Speaker 2: Now it does get to a certain point in the

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Speaker 2: year where I'm like all right, Yeah, I'm you know,

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Speaker 2: I think I pushed it this year, like I'm good, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then I take a month off for Christmas now,

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Speaker 2: so I'm very you know, look forward to that. But

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Speaker 2: the reason I got into that was to ask you

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Speaker 2: this question of when people don't have what they love

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Speaker 2: and we've been there before. You just talked about you

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Speaker 2: as I've been there before. When you're actually doing a

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Speaker 2: job that you don't love, don't enjoy what you do,

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Speaker 2: is there any way to bring energy and get energy

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Speaker 2: from it?

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Speaker 1: It can be. I mean, there's if it depends on

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Speaker 1: if somebody's like, oh, I absolutely hate my job, I

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Speaker 1: hate my boss, I hate everything about my life. I

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Speaker 1: think that's you know, that's where you just need to go.

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Speaker 1: All right. If you're thirty five years old, you say

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Speaker 1: you're forty years old, you're forty years old, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I've built this life that I'm just not necessarily in

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Speaker 1: love with. Well, if you, you know, are lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to live to eighty years old, then life one was

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Speaker 1: the first forty years of your life. Life two starts

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Speaker 1: this moment, like, you have another forty years. Is it

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Speaker 1: going to be easy to make massive changes in your life. No,

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Speaker 1: are you gonna have to say no to things that

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Speaker 1: you've been saying yes to for a really long time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to say no to things. And when

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Speaker 1: you're saying no to something, you're saying yes to other things.

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Speaker 1: And so if you're in that situation, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like just a whole uprooting of things. And for me,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather invest a year, two years, three years uprooting

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Speaker 1: things for another thirty seven years of happiness and joy

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Speaker 1: and fulfillment. But on the other side of that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think that people have a kind of like a

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Speaker 1: misconception of what a purpose or passion is. Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: think it's really important for people to take a step

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Speaker 1: back and be like, well, if there was a reason

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Speaker 1: why I was alive and I was supposed to discover

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Speaker 1: what that reason is, what is it? And I always

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Speaker 1: tell people it's okay if you are listening to this

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Speaker 1: podcast right now and you don't know what your purpose is,

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Speaker 1: But it's not okay if you're in that situation to

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Speaker 1: wake up every single day and not try to find

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Speaker 1: what your purpose is. And your purpose does not have

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Speaker 1: to be your paycheck. I'm lucky enough where it is

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Speaker 1: you're lucky enough for it is. There's some people that

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Speaker 1: are lucky enough for it is. But a purpose could

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Speaker 1: be something that you do outside of your paycheck, and

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Speaker 1: you use your paycheck to invest into that purpose, whether

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Speaker 1: it's a hobby or whatever might be. And so I

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Speaker 1: think people get that wrong. And then another aspect of

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Speaker 1: purpose that people get wrong is that I think most

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Speaker 1: people are trying to find something that they're going to

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Speaker 1: do until the day they die. And that's that's a

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Speaker 1: lot of pressure. You know, hopefully I lived like one

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Speaker 1: hundred years old. I means they got on there sixty

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Speaker 1: one years. I'd find something I'm gonna do for sixty

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Speaker 1: one years and love every single day. That's a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure. So what I think people need to actually

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Speaker 1: start looking at themselves as I always use an example

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Speaker 1: of like a hummingbird. Right, if you have ever watched

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Speaker 1: a hummingbird, they go from one flower, they're there for

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Speaker 1: a few seconds, they get the next flower, they're at

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Speaker 1: the next flower. I think people should kind of act

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Speaker 1: like a hummingbird where they say, Okay, what am I

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Speaker 1: really interested in in the next two or three years,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna that's what my focus is going

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Speaker 1: to be. What's what do I love to do that

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Speaker 1: I haven't done in a while, what interests me that

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Speaker 1: I haven't spent a lot of time, or what's something

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Speaker 1: I really want to learn about more? And then I'll

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Speaker 1: just follow that thing. And what's really interesting is when

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Speaker 1: people kind of follow and the hummingbird thing for ten

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Speaker 1: years and they go from one thing to another thing,

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Speaker 1: and they have let's say it's undred fifteen years, they

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Speaker 1: have three or five things they've tried. The universe has

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Speaker 1: this beautiful way of working where those things eventually usually

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Speaker 1: line up to find what their purpose is, and they

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Speaker 1: needed every single step to get there. So like for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, if I think about when I was nineteen

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Speaker 1: years old, I got into sales. I got into sales

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Speaker 1: because I wanted to be a psychologist. And I got

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Speaker 1: into sales and went, oh my god, this is psychology

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Speaker 1: in front of me and I'm learning it. And then

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Speaker 1: I started managing people. I was like, this is even

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Speaker 1: more psychology. I need to fix myself so I can

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Speaker 1: help these people out. So it was all of this

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Speaker 1: psychology and I, you know, sales was just the kind

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Speaker 1: of the vehicle to make me learn psychology. Then I

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Speaker 1: started managing people and realizing like how much people hold

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Speaker 1: themselves back. They're like, I want to make phone calls,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not doing it. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is really interesting to be at this moment and

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Speaker 1: to see this, Why are you not making Why are

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Speaker 1: you not doing something you want to do? Right? So

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Speaker 1: I started becoming obsessed with that, like you have so

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Speaker 1: much potential in you, why are you not doing it?

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Speaker 1: Then I got out of that and I went into

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Speaker 1: corporate sales for a little while, I started to manage people.

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Speaker 1: I got into corporate sales, and then in twenty seventeen,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to quit my job because

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Speaker 1: I don't love what I do. I'm going to travel

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Speaker 1: Europe for six months. And I traveled Europe US she

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Speaker 1: was three months. I went for three months. In twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty twelve is when I went and backpacked Europe by myself.

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Speaker 1: Twenty seventeen, I backpacked my wife for six months. But

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Speaker 1: and then I realized, oh my god, like I really

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Speaker 1: love traveling, and I have to figure out some sort

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Speaker 1: of way to make money so online so I'm not

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Speaker 1: stuck to a place, so I can do this and

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Speaker 1: I can go and I can do whatever I want.

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Speaker 1: Then I was like, I'm going to move to a

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Speaker 1: place because I thought I wanted to be a musician.

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Speaker 1: I had all the recording equipment, I had the microphone,

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Speaker 1: all this stuff. I was like, I'm going to move

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Speaker 1: to a city where there's it's a music city, I

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Speaker 1: could try to become a musician. So I moved to

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Speaker 1: Austin and I had all the record equipment. I was

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Speaker 1: there for a couple of years, tried out music. Realize

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Speaker 1: I'm not that good, Like I'm just very passionate. I

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Speaker 1: love it. I'm okay, but I'm not like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this guy's going to be a star. And then I

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Speaker 1: was like one day I was sitting in a place

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Speaker 1: called g Since Deli, this chain, and I was with

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend at the time, my now wife, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I had this feeling of like I feel

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Speaker 1: like I have so much knowledge from books that I've

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Speaker 1: read and from working on myself for so long. Then

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Speaker 1: this is twenty fifteen, so we're talking nine years I've

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Speaker 1: been working on myself. Right, I was like, they must

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Speaker 1: start a podcast. And I had this idea and I

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Speaker 1: was like, that feels right, like that feels like the

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Speaker 1: right thing to do now, mind you, I had all

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Speaker 1: of the recording equipment to be able to do so.

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Speaker 1: I had been doing songwriting for a really long time,

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Speaker 1: so I had become obsessed with taking words and making

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Speaker 1: taking a line and making it as valuable as I

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Speaker 1: possibly could in that one sentence that I could come

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Speaker 1: up with. So I had music. I had all this

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Speaker 1: stuff to be able to set up and record a podcast.

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Speaker 1: I had the songwriting to be able to write scripts.

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Speaker 1: I had the sales in the psychology to be able

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Speaker 1: to understand the psychology the managing of people of why

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Speaker 1: they don't do what they what they want to do.

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Speaker 1: And I was like everything lined up. But it only

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Speaker 1: lined up because I started feeling doing and actually following

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Speaker 1: what felt right. And so I think, if people are

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Speaker 1: trying to find the purpose, don't put so much pressure

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Speaker 1: that number one, you have to make a paycheck out

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Speaker 1: of it. And number two, that's the thing that you

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Speaker 1: have to do until to the day you die. Just

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Speaker 1: do it for a little while. And if you fast

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Speaker 1: forward ten, fifteen, twenty years, I promise you there's a

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Speaker 1: pretty good chance all of those things are going to

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Speaker 1: line up. And you're going to go this is the

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Speaker 1: reason why I'm alive.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly why Steve Job says you can't connect

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Speaker 2: the dots looking forward, you only can looking backward. And

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Speaker 2: I love that example because I often talk about it

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Speaker 2: as collecting and connecting. That purpose is a lot more

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Speaker 2: about collecting and connecting than it is finding and discovering.

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Speaker 2: And so what you did is you collected a lot

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Speaker 2: of skills by things you were just interested in, and

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Speaker 2: one day all connected. And by the way my life

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Speaker 2: is exactly the same, even though totally different to yours,

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Speaker 2: is I lived as a monk, so I understood Eastern wisdom,

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Speaker 2: which at that time was just my fascination. I then

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Speaker 2: worked as a management consultant, where I understood sales, branding, communication,

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Speaker 2: all of these other skills that came business skills basically.

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Speaker 2: And then I started working in media, where I understood communication.

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Speaker 2: Now I had what I wanted to share. I had

432
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 2: understood communication through media, and I knew how to build

433
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 2: a business. And then it just connected. But it wasn't strategic.

434
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 2: It wasn't like I went I'm going to learn this,

435
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 2: this and this and this and this. It was oh no,

436
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 2: I can now just connect all these ideas. And as

437
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,719
Speaker 2: I was listening to you speak, I was thinking about

438
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:32,959
Speaker 2: how there's literally only four key drivers or motivators that

439
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: humans have, setting goals and beating goals. There are some

440
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 2: people who just love targets and goals. When you talk

441
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 2: to them, everything is a targeting goal. These people are

442
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 2: great at sales, they're great CEOs, They're great at building

443
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 2: businesses and sticking to numbers. Some people just naturally have

444
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,640
Speaker 2: that skill set. Then there are people who are great

445
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 2: at influencing people, negotiation, persuasion, bringing energy into a remotivation,

446
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 2: people who know how to influence people. Then you've got

447
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 2: people who are great at precision. They know how to

448
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 2: make sure that the camera captures the perfect angle. They

449
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 2: know how to make sure that the iPhone actually works.

450
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 2: They know how to make sure that the bridge or

451
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 2: the elevator, the engineering is actually going to work and

452
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: get to that floor. And then finally you've got people

453
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 2: who are just good at caring for people. They're just

454
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 2: good at emotional intelligence, they're good at understanding. You can

455
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 2: bring that into your workplace. We think that as exactly

456
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,199
Speaker 2: what you said. We think that your passion or your

457
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,400
Speaker 2: pachock or your profession has to be a job you love.

458
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 2: Now you've done a podcast for ten years now. I've

459
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,360
Speaker 2: done a podcast for nearly seven years now. But if

460
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 2: someone told me that that was my purpose and that

461
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: was your purpose, I think we'd say no, it's just

462
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 2: the current iteration of it. Your purpose is far greater

463
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 2: than that, and so is mine. And so I think

464
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 2: when we limit our profession and go, oh, I don't

465
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 2: like my job, what you're missing out on is but

466
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 2: where could you influence people? Meet goals, be precise, or

467
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 2: care for people in wherever you are, and practice that

468
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:10,479
Speaker 2: skill set so that one day you are undeniable. And

469
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 2: so my question to you is why do we talk

470
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 2: ourselves out of the things that we're passionate about? Like

471
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 2: why do we talk ourselves out of Like when you

472
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 2: had that idea of I want to be a right

473
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 2: and a musician, you didn't talk yourself out of it.

474
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: You followed it and then took it as far as

475
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 2: it could and left. Same with me. I didn't talk

476
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 2: myself out of being a monk. I took the risk,

477
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 2: and then when I came back I was figuring it out.

478
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 2: Why do most of us have that idea. We hear

479
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: the voice in our head of you should try sales,

480
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 2: you should become a musician, you should launch a YouTube channel,

481
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,440
Speaker 2: and then we go, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm

482
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 2: not going I can't do it. Why do we do that?

483
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: Well? I think I think as humans were naturally lazy.

484
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: Like it's it's we want to stay in our comfort zone.

485
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 1: It's a protection mechanism. If you're not doing something that

486
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 1: you want to do, there's a pretty good chance. The

487
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: reason why, in its simplest form, is there's a part

488
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: of you inside of you is trying to protect you

489
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 1: from something, and so you might have a fear of

490
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: you know, I want to I want to start a

491
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 1: podcast too, Like these guys have their podcasts and I'm

492
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 1: gonna put myself out there and I record the podcast

493
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, ah, yeah, I don't know, I

494
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: hold myself back from doing that thing. Anytime you're really

495
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: not doing something that you want to do, there's usually

496
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 1: some sort of fear that's behind it. And usually the

497
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: fears that we have in our future comes from pain

498
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: that we have in our past. And if you can

499
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: understand that, what my brain is doing is it is

500
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: projecting itself into the future and thinking of all of

501
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: the things that could go wrong as a protection mechanism

502
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: from something that I'm triggered that I haven't healed from

503
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 1: my past, and so like, for instance, let's go with

504
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: the podcast example. Right, I'm sitting there, I've recorded three

505
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: podcast episodes. I want to hit publish, and I'm not

506
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,479
Speaker 1: doing it. If I'm sitting there and I notice myself,

507
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: we all get there, like I've there's no part of

508
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,719
Speaker 1: me that has mastered at all. I deal with the

509
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: exact same things. It's just I've kind of, over twenty

510
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 1: years of working myself become more self aware of when

511
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm in those moments and I'm like, okay, I'm holding

512
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: myself back from hitting published. What's going on here? Like

513
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: what's behind this? And if I'm like do I want

514
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 1: to do it? Yes? Why am I not doing it?

515
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,199
Speaker 1: Am I afraid of something? You know? What? I am

516
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: afraid of something? What exactly am I afraid of? I'm

517
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: afraid that if I put this out there then people

518
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: are going to judge me. Okay, that's the fear that

519
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: lives in my future. What pain does this remind me

520
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 1: of in my past? And usually be able to go.

521
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: It reminds me of that one time when I was

522
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 1: bullied in seventh grade, and it reminds me of the

523
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 1: time that I was in bullied in ninth grade. It

524
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: reminds me of the time that my you know, I

525
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: got a bad grade and my teacher called me stupid.

526
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: And it's like, I believe that first off, I believe

527
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 1: that all of this is just a game. Right. So

528
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 1: it's like, there's so much purpose and importance in what

529
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,640
Speaker 1: we do. And we talked about this last time us here.

530
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 1: It's so important what we do, but it is so

531
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: unimportant what we do in the grand scheme of the universe.

532
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 1: And you know, billions of years that this has all

533
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: been around. It's so important, but it's so unimportant. So

534
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: you can you can get caught up in the drama,

535
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: but you can also remove yourself from the drama and

536
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: you can look at it and say, Okay, I'm in

537
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: a situation I want to push publish. I'm really afraid.

538
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: What I believe is that when those moments pop up,

539
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: all of those moments that pop up our life is

540
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: a perfectly crafted curriculum for our soul to learn what

541
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: it's supposed to learn in the moment that it's here.

542
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: And so if I'm going, Okay, this is the thing

543
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: that I want to do, I'm not doing it. It's

544
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: the universe coming to me in this moment through this

545
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 1: predicament to show me, rob this is the thing that

546
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: you need to work on. You need to work on

547
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 1: this pain that you have in the past. You can

548
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: either heal that side of you, which I think is

549
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 1: something that people should do, is you'd work on healing themselves.

550
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 1: But at the same time, if we do take that

551
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: action that we are afraid of, it starts to heal

552
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 1: that past as well, because we realize we're telling our

553
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: brain this is not dangerous and you won't change yourself overnight.

554
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: But when you've posted ten thousand times on Instagram, like

555
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: I have them, like I don't care if people judge

556
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: me anymore because I've just seen so much of it.

557
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: Get It's kind of like exposure therapy. You're just like, yeah,

558
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm publishing again. Yeah I'm cold calling people and they're

559
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: hanging up on me again. It's exposure therapy. And so

560
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: I think if people can become more aware in those

561
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 1: moments and be like, Okay, I want to do something,

562
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. There's something in my past that's

563
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: not healed. I need to work on healing this. But

564
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 1: another thing that I could also do is just push

565
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 1: publish and just be okay with it. And so it's

566
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: those little moments I think where the universe is showing us,

567
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 1: this is what you need to work on. Please move forward,

568
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: just even a tiny step in the right direction, to

569
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: prove to your brain the defense mechanism is trying to

570
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: protect you. You're safe, You're not going to die. Everything's

571
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 1: going to be okay.

572
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 2: That worry that we have of what people think of us, or,

573
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 2: like you said, is a fear from deeper within that

574
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 2: we had in our past where someone said something or

575
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 2: someone felt something about us, and it triggers that. Again,

576
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: it's incredible how much power we give it. And what

577
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: you just said about this evaluation of what we do

578
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 2: is so important but so insignificant. I love that because

579
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 2: yesterday I was at an event and someone asked me

580
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 2: this question, and they said, Jay, what do you want

581
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 2: your legacy to be? What would you like your legacy

582
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: to be? And I said to them that there was

583
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 2: a time in my life where I thought that was

584
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: an important thing to reflect on, and over time, I've

585
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 2: realized it is the thing I think about the least.

586
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: You don't care about that I don't care about it

587
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: at all.

588
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: And I said to them, I said, it's because even

589
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 2: the biggest musicians in the world, if they're lucky, they'll

590
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 2: be relevant for fifty to one hundred years after they

591
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: pass away. There are only a few things that have

592
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: been around for a thousand years. Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, dinosaurs,

593
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,479
Speaker 2: They somehow made it in there, and it's like, that's it,

594
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 2: that's it, and so each one of us is going

595
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 2: to be completely forgotten. And I said, that is the

596
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 2: most liberating thing in the world to me. And my

597
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,959
Speaker 2: answer to them was, I just feel really lucky that

598
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 2: I got to be the modern messenger for a five

599
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: thousand year old tradition that has been there before me,

600
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 2: that will outlast me by thousands and thousands of years.

601
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 2: And I was just so lucky that I got to

602
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 2: be today's melman for this subject matter, and how fortunate

603
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: I am that I got to do that. But I

604
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 2: have no interest because that is the legacy that Eastern

605
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 2: wisdom that I get to share is going to last

606
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: for thousands and thousands more years, as will Jesus and

607
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 2: Buddha and dinosaurs and everything else. And it's so freeing

608
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: to note that, to kind of go yeah, like I

609
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 2: don't have to take it that seriously. Like me uploading

610
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: a video. It's like, one day YouTube will not exist

611
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,959
Speaker 2: and no one will care. And giving yourself that freedom,

612
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: and then when you're making the thing, it's like, this

613
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 2: is the most important thing. When you're sharing the thing,

614
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 2: you're like, all right, let's just let it out into

615
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:21,959
Speaker 2: the world. How do you then deal with that criticism

616
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: that comes in your own mind of I put it

617
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: out there. It's not getting views, it's not getting comments,

618
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 2: people don't like my art, people don't think, and you

619
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 2: just get lost now in this like Okay, well I'm

620
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 2: not going to do it again. Because I had a

621
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 2: friend who he said to me, I'm going to post

622
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 2: thirty videos in thirty days. I'm going to commit you.

623
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. Then he starts posting, and

624
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 2: he's not happy with the amount of likes, he's not

625
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: happy with the amount of comments. He starts doubting it,

626
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 2: and then eventually he stops and then doesn't do anymore.

627
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 2: So there's no more discipline left, no more consistency. And

628
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: I said to him, I said, realistically, you need to

629
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 2: post every day for two years to even even get

630
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: close to seeing what could happen. Yeah, but thirty days

631
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 2: isn't really gonna cut it. And so if you've done

632
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: thirty days and then you're not for six months, and

633
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 2: then you know it's not gonna make sense. But he

634
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: talked himself out of it even after getting started, right,

635
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you see this all the time.

636
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: Of course. Yeah. I mean, I think the real question

637
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: behind those types of things is why are you doing it? Like? So,

638
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: you know, the thing that I love about what you

639
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: said is is like you're just excited to be the

640
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: person that's giving this message right now, which means that

641
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 1: you're removing yourself from all of it. It's it's unimportant.

642
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: Like on my drive up here, the only thing I

643
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: kept saying to myself, I just did a prayer and

644
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: I was like, God, please remove me from all of it.

645
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: I don't want it. I don't I don't want the

646
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: fame of it. I don't care about any of it.

647
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: I just want that whoever hears this message to be

648
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: the message that they needed to hear, whether it's one person,

649
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: whether it's millions of people. But I don't want to be,

650
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: you know, on some sort of pedestal for being the

651
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: person that gives it. And there's no real I mean,

652
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: there's no re with Buddha, with Christiana and with Jesus,

653
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: there's no real original thought. Anyways, I'm probably saying somebody

654
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: that someone else is said at some point in time

655
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: in the world, right, And so when I can remove

656
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: myself from needing to see or be important, then it

657
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: makes a lot easier for me. So if somebody's point

658
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,719
Speaker 1: of if we're using posting as the example, is to

659
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 1: become famous or to make money or to get likes,

660
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: then I think you're going at it from the wrong reasons. Anyways.

661
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: The real thing is, like, why am I doing this

662
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: in the first place. When I first talked with you

663
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen, when we were talking about, hey, you

664
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: should start a podcast, I could tell from that moment

665
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: that you wanted to basically take all of this Eastern

666
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: wisdom that had changed your entire life and just teach

667
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: it to other people because you felt obligated to do so.

668
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: When I was sitting in Jason's Deli, and I was

669
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: sitting there and watching people yell at their kids and

670
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: all of this stuff, and it was just like this

671
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: moment of just like you know, if you watch I

672
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: Got someone in a movie when like the world starts

673
00:30:58,440 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: to get all weird. It got to like a fever

674
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: pi and I was like, I can't do this anymore.

675
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's something inside of me that's

676
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: helped me overcome my trauma for my past of my

677
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: father being an alcoholic and passing away when I was fifteen,

678
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm in a really good place

679
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: from all of that. I feel obligated to teach it.

680
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: It was never from the standpoint of I'm doing this

681
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 1: because I want to make money or I'm doing this

682
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: because I want to be famous, because nobody made money

683
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: or was famous for podcasts in twenty fifteen anyways. And

684
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: so I think what people should really ask themselves is like,

685
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: what is the real reason why I'm doing this in

686
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: the first place. And you know, if someone has a

687
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: really strong why how to do it will eventually reveal itself.

688
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: And so this one's like I want to make a

689
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: bunch of money. Cool that's great. You can definitely make

690
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: a bunch of money, But I also think that money

691
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: is a byproduct of the value that you give the world.

692
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: And so in my mind, I'm like, if I want

693
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: to make more, can I figure out a way to

694
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: give more value to people? Anyways? And so I think

695
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: it's more of like, can you go and build a

696
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: business and make a bunch of money and be famous

697
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: all my stuff? Sure? Why do you want to do it? Though? Like,

698
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 1: there's some actors that are that are really good at

699
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 1: actors because the fact that they want to be rich

700
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 1: and famous, and they usually burn out. And then there's

701
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: some people that want to be actors because they love

702
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: the craft of being an actor and becoming somebody else

703
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: and having to change themselves. Those people never burn out

704
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: because they have some sort of really strong why that's

705
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: behind what it is that they're doing.

706
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 2: So I think we both believe that we've been talking

707
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 2: a lot about consciousness and tens knowing why you're doing something,

708
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: like caring about it, doing something you love, and we

709
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 2: both know that's important, But I think we both agree

710
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 2: that competence is equally important. The reason you didn't pursue

711
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 2: a music career is because you didn't feel you had

712
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 2: the competence to make it a career beyond it being

713
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 2: meaningful and thoughtful. And same with me. I love soccer,

714
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: It's my first love. But I'm just not competent enough

715
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 2: to be a professional soccer player or not have made

716
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: it into any of the needs for that matter. And

717
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 2: so how does someone build a new skill or competence

718
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: If someone goes, Okay, I want to be a podcaster

719
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 2: and I need to learn I need I want to

720
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 2: big comment musician, I need to learn songwriting. I want

721
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: to be a filmmaker, I need to learn editing. How

722
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 2: do you stop building a new skill? What are the

723
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,719
Speaker 2: steps to building any skill?

724
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's just I think consistency is the

725
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: biggest point part of it. Like, first off, you have

726
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: to start like most people. I remember watching a video

727
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: years ago of Jared Leto being interviewed, and Jared Letto

728
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: is one of the most famous actors and also a

729
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: really famous musician. He's one the biggest, the highest awards

730
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: that you can win of both of those, right, And

731
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: he said something that was really kind of like eye

732
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: opening for me. He said, when I was a child,

733
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 1: he was homeschooled, and he saw what people were doing.

734
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: He said, when I was a child, I just realized

735
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: that most people don't start, and as long as I start,

736
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: I'll eventually be so much further ahead of anybody else.

737
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: So I thought that was a really big piece of it.

738
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: The piece that all add on is that if you

739
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: just don't stop, there's a pretty good chance that you're

740
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 1: gonna win whatever it might be. Now, can can I

741
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: go and just get a soccer ball and then become

742
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: you know, Ronaldo? No, that's not definitely not going to happen.

743
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: I can understand that. I think most people are wise

744
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: enough to know, hey, this probably isn't the route of

745
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: me trying to become a professional at thirty nine years old, right.

746
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: But the thing about it is, I'm of the belief

747
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: that when I do something, I'm not going to stop

748
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: doing it until I get to wherever I feel like

749
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 1: I want to go. I started business years ago with

750
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: my best friend and another one of our friends was

751
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,280
Speaker 1: there and he's like, why are you starting a business

752
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 1: with rob? And he was asking us, like what is

753
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: it that you guys liked by each other? And he's

754
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: my friend in a nice way, said Rob's like a cockroach,

755
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: like he just doesn't die. And that's kind of the

756
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: way I've built myself to be is like, I don't

757
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: think I'm the most talented person. I don't think I

758
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: have the highest skill set, but I do know that

759
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: when I find something that I want to do, I

760
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: will at least try to play it out as long

761
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 1: as I possibly can. For me, when I first started

762
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: my podcast episodes, were they that great? No, Like, if

763
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: I listen to my stuff now, it's so cringe to me.

764
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: Ten years down the road, I have developed confidence and

765
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 1: comp There's a called, you know, the confidence competence loop,

766
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: which is you do I get confidence first or do

767
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: I get competence first. You don't get either one of them,

768
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: but you get both of them once you start doing

769
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: something and you push your skills a little bit more.

770
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: The thing that I love about being a human so much, though,

771
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 1: that I literally got it tattooed on my hand is

772
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: and I told my wife on our first date. She

773
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 1: was like, you have any tattoos? I was like, no,

774
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: but I'm going to get this one one day. Is

775
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: the Roman numeral for ten thousand, which is I love

776
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: the idea of the ten thousand hour rule, which is

777
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 1: if you take ten thousand hours of dedicated practice towards something,

778
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: you can eventually master it. And so for me, I

779
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: was like, I just need to try to get to

780
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: ten thousand hours of dedicated work on something and I

781
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: will probably master that thing. And so if people are

782
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 1: trying to become better at it, you have to be

783
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 1: okay with not being good when you first do something.

784
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: There's a quote that says you cannot be a graceful

785
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: master if you will not allow yourself to be a

786
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: foolish beginner. That's good, and you've got to allow yourself

787
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 1: to be a foolish beginner and screw up and be

788
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: okay with screwing up, but knowing that everything that you're

789
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: doing is getting you closer to being better. And so

790
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: for me, like even with the podcast, when I first

791
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: started it, I was like, I'm just going to do

792
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 1: it and if I like it, I'm going to keep going.

793
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: And I liked it, and then there was going back

794
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: to the question you asked a minute ago, like you're

795
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: not getting the response that you want in all of

796
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 1: your likes and all this stuff. I got one email

797
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: when I was getting one hundred downloads. Back in twenty fifteen,

798
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: I got an email two months in from a lady

799
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: that said, I love your podcast. It's the only thing

800
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: that's gotten me out of depression after my father killed

801
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: himself three years ago. And I was like, that's the

802
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: reason why I'm doing it for that person that I

803
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: had this feeling that I would be helping. And she's

804
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: the only one that's emailed me. There's probably people who

805
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: have never sent me an email that I'm helping them

806
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,959
Speaker 1: in some sort of way, and knowing that I'm doing

807
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: that is what's driving me. And so you know, with

808
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 1: the podcast, for instance, we keep going back to it.

809
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: But in twenty fifteen I started the Mindset Mentor and

810
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: it stayed at the exact same like after a year,

811
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: it kind of leveled off at a certain amount of

812
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: and it was doing well, but it wasn't like one

813
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: of the biggest ones in the world. And then a

814
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: perfect storm happened. So I started twenty fifteen. Twenty twenty happened.

815
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: Three things happened. Number one, COVID happened. People were at

816
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: home and they started listening to podcasts. Number two Apple

817
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: Podcasts came out with the app, and so it was

818
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: a lot easier to listen to podcasts, and number three,

819
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 1: Spotify came out with podcasts as well. Those three things.

820
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: I went from the same number of downloads every single

821
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: month for about five years to seventy xing it in

822
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: literally three months, and it was like it was like

823
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: the tipping point. It was just consistency, consistency, consistency. Boom,

824
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: it exploded. And that's just what people need to focus on,

825
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: is showing up every single day and putting in the work,

826
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 1: and it's just compound interest and over time, you eventually

827
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: get to the point where the universe just clicks in

828
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 1: place and it's like here it is. And I see

829
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: it as a test that God or the universe or

830
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 1: life puts us through to say, let's see how long

831
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: you'll do this. And I'm going to challenge you every

832
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: single step of the way. And then eventually there is

833
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: a moment in time where I'm going to say this

834
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 1: is for you. You did it. You've got to the point

835
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: that you want to here's the stuff that you wanted.

836
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 1: And I see it as a challenge. I'm like, let's

837
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 1: play the game. I'm down for the challenge. Let's go

838
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: for it.

839
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, And consistency is so interesting because I think we

840
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: think about consistency as I worked out five days a

841
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: week every week of the year, and reality, consistency is

842
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 2: one week I worked out three days. The next week,

843
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 2: I worked out six. This week I worked out four,

844
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 2: then I worked out five, then I did two, and

845
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: then I did seven. Like, consistency doesn't mean the same

846
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 2: thing every week. It can shark differently, And I think

847
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 2: what we get caught in is when we fall off,

848
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,479
Speaker 2: Like anyone ever here who's tried a diet and they

849
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 2: failed at a diet. Right, We're going to go into

850
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: the new year soon and people are going to be

851
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 2: making New Year's resolutions. And here's the thing. Most people

852
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 2: will probably keep it going for two weeks, maybe even

853
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 2: three weeks, and then they'll have a bad day or

854
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: a bad week, and then we'll throw it out. So

855
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, I had a great I didn't eat

856
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 2: sugar for two weeks. I was losing two pounds a

857
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 2: week for two weeks. I was posting content for two weeks,

858
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 2: and now the third week I dropped off. Now I'm

859
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,879
Speaker 2: going to throw it all away because I messed up

860
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: and I lost it because I wasn't consistent. How do

861
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: we get back on? Or two questions, is everyone going

862
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 2: to fall off? And if that's the case, you all,

863
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 2: if we're all guaranteed to fall off, how do you

864
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: get back on without beating yourself up and making it

865
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 2: feel like you're never going to get back on.

866
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: There's a couple different aspects of it that I'll go into.

867
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: The First thing is that I see this all the

868
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: time with people, is that they will work out for

869
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: twenty one days and they'll stay on their diet and

870
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: they'll do really well, and then this twenty second day,

871
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 1: they don't plan correctly, they get on a flight, they

872
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 1: end up missing it, and then they do what do

873
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 1: they do? They guilt themselves, they themselves, They shame themselves,

874
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: They talk, trash themselves. I knew you couldn't do it.

875
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: You always do this. You always give up on something.

876
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: They take that one moment in time and they beat

877
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 1: themselves up for it, versus going, hey, you had a mistake.

878
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 1: You didn't get this thing done that you wanted to.

879
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: But I'm so proud of you for the twenty one days.

880
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: You have never worked out and kept to a dive

881
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: for twenty one days I'm so proud of you for

882
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: sticking to it, and instead of beating yourself up for

883
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: day twenty two, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna

884
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 1: look at it as a data point and see what

885
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: did I do wrong that ended up making me not

886
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: be able to stay consistent, so that on day twenty

887
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: three I can continue with the consistency. It's like and

888
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: I love. I think the perfect quote for it is

889
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: James Clear says, every action that you take is a

890
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: vote for the person she wish to become. So if

891
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: you're the person's like, oh, I'm gonna throw in the towel,

892
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 1: you've decided I'm the type of person that throws in

893
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 1: the towel. But if you say, hey, I'm going to

894
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: pick myself up. As if my friend calls me and says,

895
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: I worked out really hard for twenty one days, I

896
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: did really good, and today's my twenty second day and

897
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,919
Speaker 1: I screwed up. What should I do? Are you gonna

898
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: be like you suck, You're stupid. I knew you wouldn't

899
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: follow through whatever you say to yourself. No, you're gonna

900
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 1: say something different to your friend than you would yourself.

901
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: And so that's the first aspect of it. The second

902
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: aspect of it is that I think people think in

903
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: two short of terms. So I saw a statistic one

904
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 1: time and said, in order to create a habit, it

905
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: takes between sixty to one hundred days. Most people are

906
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: focused on that timeframe. Then if you go further past that,

907
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: in order to change your lifestyle, it takes about twelve

908
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 1: to eighteen months. In order to change your identity, it

909
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 1: takes about three to four years. And so for me,

910
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: I realize that if I'm trying to do something, it's

911
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: the same way that I was talking to you earlier

912
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: three to four years. And I'm gonna do this thing,

913
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: and what am I going to have success every single

914
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 1: step of the way. No, but I'm dedicating my life

915
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: to this thing because of what it's going to give me,

916
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: or my family or the world if I do this thing.

917
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: And so I think if people look a little bit

918
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: more in timeframes of like three to four years, they

919
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: might be able to give themselves more grace. They can

920
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: also just goat a crap out of themself and be like,

921
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't do this, It's going to

922
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: take so long, or they could say hey, it's a marathon.

923
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: Life is a marathon. If you trip in the first

924
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: mile of the marathon, you don't need to throw in

925
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,240
Speaker 1: the next twenty five miles after that. You just continue

926
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: to keep going and so and it's one of the

927
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: reasons why people who end up winning the lottery end

928
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: up I think it's like seventy five eighty percent of

929
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 1: them end up going back to where they were financially

930
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: within five years, and an average person, I think it's

931
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 1: ninety or ninety five percent of people who lose twenty

932
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: pounds will gain it back within the next two years.

933
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,280
Speaker 1: Is because of the fact that either their habits changed,

934
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: maybe their lifestyle change, but their identity didn't change. I

935
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: have a friend whose weight goes up and down and

936
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: up and down and up and down, and we've had

937
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: a really deep conversation with it. He's like, I want

938
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: to be in the best physical shape that I possibly can,

939
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 1: and he'll be really fit, and then he'll be forty

940
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: pounds overweight, back and forth and back and forth. And

941
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: we came to terms of realizing the reason why is

942
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 1: because he still identifies as the fat kid that he

943
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: was made fun of in middle school. And I'm like,

944
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: that's the identity shift that we're trying to go for

945
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: is and identity shifts come from a couple different things,

946
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: which is like what we believe about ourselves, but also

947
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: the same time, like what action that we take. So

948
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: like if you would have asked me in twenty fourteen,

949
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 1: or you a podcast or I'd say no, But now

950
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: I've been doing it for ten years, I'm like, yes,

951
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 1: it's literally part of who I am. Same thing for you,

952
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: and it's only because you've taken consistent enough action then

953
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 1: now you identify with that thing. And that's what I

954
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: think all of this should be working towards. With consistency

955
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: and with consistency and willpower. Last thing I'll say on

956
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: this is that I think people are like, well, I

957
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: just don't have any willpower. The people that I've found

958
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 1: who are the most consistent, it's not that they have

959
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 1: more willpower than the average person. They might, but it

960
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: is they have designed an environment in their life that

961
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: does not test their willpower. I if you put a

962
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: bag of skittles in front of me in my house,

963
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: it's gone today me too, it's gone. But if I

964
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: don't have skittles in my house, I don't eat them.

965
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 1: So I intentionally try to design my environment to not

966
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 1: fall into pitfalls that I don't want to fall into,

967
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: to be as productive as I possibly can. Like, if

968
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get productive work done for two hours,

969
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 1: my phone's going to be in the kitchen. And so

970
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: it's like, can I design an environment where discipline and

971
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 1: consistency and willpower are easier versus making it so hard

972
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: on myself?

973
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,879
Speaker 2: Yeah? That I that's to me is the biggest one,

974
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 2: because yeah, you can't have your refrigerator full of all

975
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 2: the stuff you don't want to eat. No, all of

976
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 2: the power. Yeah, yeah, I don't have enough willpower for

977
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 2: that either. If something's right here, I'm gonna have it.

978
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 2: That's absolutely And I think people think that people who

979
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,879
Speaker 2: have this amazing willpower and like you're it's right next

980
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 2: to you, but you're not tempted by I'm like, no way,

981
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 2: I'm completely seduced by you know, a sugary soda or

982
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 2: you know a slab of chocolate. We're coming up to

983
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 2: the new year, and I want to give you my

984
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 2: answer what I'm thinking, and I want to hear yours.

985
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: If we could give people one mindset to approach twenty

986
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: twenty six with to make it the best year they

987
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 2: could possibly have. My take, and I want to hear

988
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: yours would be to do less in the sense that

989
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: the one mindset that will save you is instead of

990
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 2: thinking you want to be the best partner and the

991
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 2: best workout person and the best professional and the best

992
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 2: parent and everything, is choose one thing to be really

993
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 2: good at for season one. And I think about this

994
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: like nature, Nature's good at doing one thing. It's why

995
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: we have four seasons. In this season, it's good at growing.

996
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: In this season, it's good at shedding. In this season,

997
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 2: it's good at shining, and in this season it's good

998
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,720
Speaker 2: at recovering. And it's like, it's not trying to imagine

999
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 2: you had a day where it was snowing, stormy, sunny,

1000
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 2: and raining in the same day. You'd be like, this

1001
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: is just schizophrenic, Like it's crazy, and there are a

1002
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 2: few places in the world that happens, but it's rare

1003
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,760
Speaker 2: and it wouldn't make sense. Like we think of balance

1004
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 2: or we think of success as I'm good at everything.

1005
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 2: And so we go into the new year and go,

1006
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to this the year I lose weight, This

1007
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 2: is the year I build my company. This is the

1008
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: year and we, as Bill Gates said, we overestimate what

1009
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 2: we can do in one year, and we underestimate what

1010
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 2: we can do in ten years. I in January it

1011
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 2: will be ten years since I started being a creator.

1012
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 2: My first video launched jan third, twenty sixteen. And if

1013
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 2: someone told me what we were going to do in

1014
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 2: the last ten years, I would never have believed them

1015
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: for sure. But if I tried to do all of

1016
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 2: this in the first twelve months, I would have failed miserably. Yeah,

1017
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: and so my advice, my biggest minds of the twenty

1018
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 2: twenty six if anyone listening, is do less, prioritize, focus,

1019
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 2: don't try and tick every box. It's okay to fail

1020
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 2: at a bunch of stuff for four months and then

1021
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 2: build up something else. What would be your big mindset

1022
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 2: for twenty twenty six.

1023
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 1: The exact same thing Every year I tell people to

1024
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: focus on one thing for one hundred days, because if

1025
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 1: statistically it take sixty six to one hundred days on

1026
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: average for someone to create a new habit, then I

1027
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 1: want to just do one thing for one hundred days

1028
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: to try to create that habit. Now, the problem is

1029
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: is that most people, if they're listening to this podcast.

1030
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: They want to be a high performer. They want to

1031
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: change their life, they want to make the best life

1032
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: they possibly can. So they go, you know what, I'm

1033
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 1: going to do three things at one time. I'm gonna

1034
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 1: do four things at one time. And I actually think

1035
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 1: that that's a trap of the ego. The ego is

1036
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: the identity that's trying to keep you in the exact

1037
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 1: same place, and a trap of the egos to go, well,

1038
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 1: I could do one thing, or if I do three,

1039
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,439
Speaker 1: then I'll be three times further later on down the road.

1040
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,879
Speaker 1: I think that's a trap of the ego going I'm

1041
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: gonna throw too much on their plate. So it's going

1042
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: to be too much, and eventually they're going to fail.

1043
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: But if I wake up every day and I just

1044
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 1: go I just have to check off one box, and

1045
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 1: if I check off one box it's a success. Then

1046
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: I can look at, Okay, what are my goals for

1047
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,439
Speaker 1: this year, and looking at my goals, what's the most

1048
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: important priority for the next one hundred days, and I

1049
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: just have to do that one thing. Now, will you

1050
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 1: fall off in a hundred if I were a betting man,

1051
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: yes you will. But how you respond to, like we

1052
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: were just talking about, is the most important aspect of it.

1053
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: If you say I want to, you know, post a

1054
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 1: piece of content every single day for the next one

1055
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,800
Speaker 1: hundred days and you get ninety five days, that's pretty

1056
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: dang good. I would say that's success.

1057
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 2: Even fifty would be good, right, But it's like.

1058
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: Don't build. You beat yourself up for it if you

1059
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,839
Speaker 1: don't get there. So I'd say, focus on one thing.

1060
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 1: And I think in the day that we live in,

1061
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: I was talking with somebody yesterday whose daughter wants to

1062
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,399
Speaker 1: go to Florence to learn how this very specific part

1063
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 1: of like design of art, and I was like, man, like,

1064
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,839
Speaker 1: that's the thing that people really miss nowadays, is like

1065
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: wanting to master something and really just get good at

1066
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 1: that thing. Say to yourself, I'm just going to do

1067
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 1: this one thing every single day for the next one

1068
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 1: hundred days. If I fall off, I fall off, no

1069
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: big deal. And then at the end of the one

1070
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: hundred days, I'll put a reminder in my phone that

1071
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: I can look and see. Do I feel like I

1072
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: want to continue with this thing? Does it feel like

1073
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 1: it's locked into me and it's a habit, or do

1074
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 1: I want to change it to something else. And if

1075
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: they do that, I think it's important because most people

1076
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: are trying to do a million things. They want to

1077
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: get better at this, They want to learn this and

1078
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 1: this and this and this and this. And I heard

1079
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: edsheer and say one time, you could do anything that

1080
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: you want to, but you can't do it all at once.

1081
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 1: Can only do one thing at a time that you're

1082
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: trying to really get better at. And so it's like,

1083
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: for the next one hundred days, this season of my life,

1084
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on this thing and this thing only.

1085
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,280
Speaker 1: And I think if people can kind of narrow their

1086
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: knowledge and their skill set to just a couple things

1087
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: they want to get better at each year, I think

1088
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: it'll help them out because most people, I always give

1089
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,919
Speaker 1: you example, it's like most people's knowledge and skill set

1090
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: is like a mile wide but an inch deep. You're

1091
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: never going to get really anything that you want with

1092
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:43,959
Speaker 1: being stuff for being able to talk to people about

1093
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 1: many different subjects, it's like a mile wide but an

1094
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: inch deep. I want my knowledge and skill set to

1095
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: be an inch wide but a mile deep. And when

1096
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: you do that, you actually can start to master something.

1097
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 1: And when you become better at you'll find people will

1098
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 1: ask you to consult them and they'll pay you for it.

1099
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: The most successful people that I know are not the

1100
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 1: smartest people in the world, but they're very consistent, they're

1101
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 1: very passionate, they're very disciplined, and they usually just are

1102
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 1: really good at like one thing and that's it.

1103
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think it's also just like you hear

1104
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 2: people go, I'm going to read a book every week,

1105
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you'd be better off reading one book

1106
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 2: a year and applying one lesson from it to your

1107
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:23,359
Speaker 2: point of one as opposed to I would rather I'd

1108
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 2: prefer you read a page every day for one hundred days,

1109
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 2: going off your method of one book and put it

1110
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 2: into practice. Then I read twenty four books this year.

1111
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 2: I read fifty two books this year. There's no achievement

1112
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 2: in that number whatsoever. It's just some arbitrary it's your

1113
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:44,360
Speaker 2: point of it's an inch deep and a mile wide,

1114
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 2: Like that's what it is. It's like, I read fifty

1115
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: two books. What do you remember all this random fact

1116
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 2: from this one? Like it doesn't prove anythy books I've

1117
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 2: read in the past three years. Tell me one to

1118
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 2: YOUO many times I've read it probably one hundred which

1119
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 2: one Christian Murty toltal freedom.

1120
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: Oh wow, like this thick and it's underline. It's highlighted

1121
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: every time because I'm exactly what you're saying. There are

1122
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: the smartest people in the world of read book and

1123
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: there's so many great books and all this stuff. I

1124
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: used to read fifty books a year and be so

1125
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: hard too too. But it's like, if you can find

1126
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 1: one book that you feel is going to change your life,

1127
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: You're like, I need this thing to be part of me.

1128
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: That's what you should become obsessed with. Exactly what you're saying.

1129
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 1: And so it's like, find that book and try to go,

1130
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to make this book part of me.

1131
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's exactly what I used to do. I

1132
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 2: used to do. At one point, I was trying to

1133
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: read a book a day and I had the time

1134
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 2: for it, and it was great. I learned a lot,

1135
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 2: it was amazing. But I realized living the book was

1136
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 2: far more important than reading the book. And I couldn't

1137
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: experiment or practice with three hundred and sixty five ideas

1138
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 2: or fifty two ideas a good practice with a couple,

1139
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 2: and that made all the difference. How should someone think

1140
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,959
Speaker 2: about setting goals for twenty twenty six?

1141
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, good question. I love this one because I did

1142
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 1: it wrong for a long time, like fifteen years. So

1143
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm the type person gets excited by goals. I'm like, yeah,

1144
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 1: let's make it. And I get my wife does not

1145
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: want to sit down and make any goals with me,

1146
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, let's play in our ear and she's like, no,

1147
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: I don't really care to make the goals exactly. It's

1148
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 1: like that's why Roddy Lauren get it well, yeah along

1149
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: so well. And so it's like I was I was

1150
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 1: thinking about. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna set my

1151
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 1: goals for the entire year. And so what I came

1152
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 1: to is the more that I've I've learned about neuroscience

1153
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,320
Speaker 1: and the way humans work and the shrinking of everything

1154
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 1: that we do, is that most people say, Okay, well,

1155
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to lose forty pounds this year.

1156
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 1: That's my number one goal. You know, I'm going to

1157
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 1: listen to what Robin and Jaysha. I'm I'm gonna focus

1158
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: on one thing. I'm going to lose forty pounds a year.

1159
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 1: And this is what I need to do to get there.

1160
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: The problem with that is this is most of the time,

1161
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: you'll go to the gym, you'll work out, then you'll

1162
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 1: come back, you work out for two weeks, you take

1163
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 1: a shower, you see yourself naked in the mirror, and

1164
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, still not there yet, right, And people

1165
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,240
Speaker 1: will actually make them startself start to feel bad about

1166
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 1: not being at the destination that they want to get to.

1167
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: The problem with that is that our brains are addicted

1168
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: to dopamine. The most addictive drugs in the entire world

1169
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 1: are high dopaminergic drugs, and we are basically like all

1170
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 1: dope fiends in different ways, Like some people get it

1171
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: from working a whole lot, some people get it from

1172
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,240
Speaker 1: scrolling on Instagram, and some people get it from watching Netflix,

1173
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,320
Speaker 1: and some people get it from you know, being around

1174
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 1: their kids. In all of this, and so, dopamine is

1175
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: the chemical of motivation. Whenever we get it, we want

1176
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: more of it and we will work hard to go

1177
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 1: get more of it. And so there's a thing that's

1178
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 1: called a dopamine reward system. And this is super important

1179
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 1: for people to start to understand. If you want to

1180
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 1: change your life and become addicted, you know, not a

1181
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 1: bad way, but addicted to the things that you need

1182
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 1: to do to make your life better. You need to

1183
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: develop some sort of dopamine reward system. And the way

1184
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: you do that is so there's results based goals, which is,

1185
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: when I lose forty pounds, then I will have hit

1186
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 1: my goal. That is a result. It is a result

1187
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,919
Speaker 1: based goal. I did that for fifteen years. You still

1188
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: set the result based goal. But then what you do

1189
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 1: is you create something that's called daily action based goals,

1190
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: which are, as long as I get these things done

1191
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: every single day, it is a success. Not when I

1192
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:04,839
Speaker 1: lose a forty pounds. It's this success when I do

1193
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: this thing, whatever the thing is, and it can change

1194
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 1: each day depending on your diet and whatever is you

1195
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: need to do, that is a success. And when you

1196
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 1: have that success, if you can get good at celebrating yourself,

1197
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,879
Speaker 1: which sounds weird but neurologically is super important, your brain

1198
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: will released dopamine, which then says the action that I

1199
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 1: just made, that I just did made me feel good.

1200
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 1: It gave me dopamine. I want to do it again.

1201
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 1: And so a better way of doing it is if

1202
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,879
Speaker 1: I've never been to the gym and I only lose

1203
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 1: forty pounds. And on January first, I say, okay, I'm

1204
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 1: going to go to the gym. Walking in the door

1205
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,919
Speaker 1: is a success, not looking at myself with forty pounds off.

1206
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 1: And then you you got to change the way that

1207
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: you speak to yourself. You got to change a way

1208
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: to speak yourself. And so you sit there and you go, Okay,

1209
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: you walked in the door. I'm so proud of you.

1210
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 1: You're going to do this. I believe in you. You

1211
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:55,800
Speaker 1: go on and you say, okay, I'm going to go

1212
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: on the treadmill for ten minutes. Okay, one minute down,

1213
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 1: You're doing such a good job. Two minutes down. When

1214
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,399
Speaker 1: you do these little celebrations, you get this little tiny

1215
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 1: bit of dopamine. Your brain is saying the action that

1216
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 1: was just taken is something that we got dopamin for.

1217
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: We want to do it again. When you do your

1218
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 1: first set, you celebrate yourself your second set. I like,

1219
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: so when I work out, look myself in the eye

1220
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: after it and in my head be like, I'm so

1221
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: proud of you doing such a good job. I'm so

1222
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 1: proud of doing such a good job. Then when you

1223
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: get done, you're like, man, I feel really good, You're

1224
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 1: more likely to do it again tomorrow. And so what

1225
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: you do You create these long term results based goals,

1226
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: you shorten them to action based goals, and you be

1227
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: done today. And then you develop a system to give

1228
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: yourself dopamine to make it feel good, because when it

1229
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: feels good and it feels rewarding, you want to show

1230
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 1: up and do it again tomorrow. And if you do

1231
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 1: that every single day, eventually you get semi addicted to

1232
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 1: the process. Like we all know people who have been

1233
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: fifty or one hundred pounds overweight, and then you see

1234
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: them and they've they never worked out a day in

1235
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 1: their life, and now they work out five days every

1236
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 1: single week. Some of them work out seven days weeks

1237
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: because they love it so much. It's because they've learned

1238
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 1: to fall in love with the process. And the people

1239
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: who are the most successful in the world are people

1240
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 1: who have fallen in love with the process, not the

1241
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: end result. And so if you look at like like,

1242
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 1: for instance, Kobe Bryant, right, he used to wake up

1243
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 1: at four o'clock in the morning every single morning to

1244
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: work out, and I don't know if he knew he

1245
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 1: was creating a dopamine award system. But he talks about

1246
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: when he talks about mom mentality is his greatest thing

1247
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,919
Speaker 1: that he loved about himself, and what made him feel

1248
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 1: the best was the feeling of I'm working out when

1249
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 1: everyone else is sleeping. I will get into my second

1250
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 1: workout when they're starting to get into their first workout.

1251
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm twice as far as they are. He created a

1252
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 1: dopamine reward system that got him addicted to the process.

1253
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 1: And when you're addicted to the process, the end result

1254
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 1: is going to be way better. And I think if

1255
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: people can do that, I think that the entire year

1256
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 1: wal change for him.

1257
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 2: I've never heard someone explain it like that. I love

1258
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 2: the idea of creating a dopamine reward system. That the

1259
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 2: story he was telling himself was giving him the dopamineep Like,

1260
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,320
Speaker 2: that's brilliant, that's so good. And it was funny because

1261
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 2: I was talking to Homer about this, who's you know,

1262
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 2: my videographer just now when you were coming in. We

1263
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 2: were talking about this idea of I work harder today

1264
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 2: than ten years ago when I started, not because I

1265
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 2: have to, not because I think I need to. I

1266
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 2: do it because I love it. I'm engaged, I'm learning,

1267
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 2: I feel I'm becoming better. And I was saying that

1268
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 2: A big part of it, which gives me a lot

1269
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 2: of dopamine. To your point, is I love the universe

1270
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 2: and God knowing that I don't take the life they

1271
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 2: gave me for granted. And so it's a form of gratitude.

1272
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 2: My work ethic is my gratitude to God and the

1273
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 2: universe to repay this incredible gift of life, an opportunity

1274
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 2: that I've been given to live the life that I

1275
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 2: get to live. So now I'm feeling gratitude. That's just

1276
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 2: a story in my head, like that's how I feel

1277
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 2: about it, and it gives me so much dopamine. And

1278
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 2: the second part to that is, therefore, I never want

1279
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 2: to be complacent that something I would have been willing

1280
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 2: to do ten years ago, I'm still willing to do

1281
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 2: it today because I'm not bigger or better. I'm still

1282
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: back at the beginning of my journey. I still treat

1283
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 2: it that way. Now, there are certain things you have

1284
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 2: to change and say no to, and of course, but

1285
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 2: overall my mindset is this is day one. We're just

1286
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 2: at the beginning. We're starting out again. And that is

1287
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 2: unbeatable in my mind as the dopamine reactor, but it's

1288
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 2: also unbeatable as a mindset because I'm like, I'm working

1289
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: as hard as I did on day one, that the

1290
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 2: day one's got no chance. You know, it's like because

1291
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 2: so to me, it's just but I love the way

1292
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 2: you put it that that's just my way of convincing

1293
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 2: myself to work hard is gratitude and payback, service and purpose.

1294
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all we are doing is just having stories

1295
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 1: in our head. And the story that you have in

1296
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: your head when you're becoming aware of yourself and starting

1297
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 1: to you know, twenty twenty five years old, you're like,

1298
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, I want to work myself. There's things

1299
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 1: that I don't necessarily like about the life that I've built.

1300
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 1: You're becoming aware of the stories that you have in

1301
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: your head, and we can you know, it's like the

1302
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 1: example that you see many times when someone's like, all right,

1303
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: it's you know, the room that you're in, look around

1304
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: and see how many red things you can find. You

1305
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: look around for all of the red things, and you

1306
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 1: look around for the red things. They say, close your eyes,

1307
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: how many blue things did you see, and everyone's always

1308
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 1: like zero because you weren't looking for that thing. It's

1309
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: not that it wasn't there, it's just that you weren't

1310
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 1: looking for it. And so you know, a lot of

1311
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 1: us were We're looking for what's going wrong, what's not

1312
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 1: the way that we want it to be. And that's

1313
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: just the perception of the way that we look through

1314
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: the world. I mean, humans have you know something that's

1315
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: called the negativity bias. We are going to look for

1316
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: what's negative, and it's a protection mechanism. We're going to

1317
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 1: look for what's bad, and so we have to change

1318
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: ourselves to say I'm going to see a different perspective

1319
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 1: and to find what's positive. Another way of doing that

1320
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: is going, okay, I've looked at the world this way

1321
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,439
Speaker 1: my end entire life. And with the amount of hours

1322
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 1: that you work, you could be like, oh my god,

1323
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm working so freaking hard. I don't know if I

1324
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: can do this, and that can be the story going

1325
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 1: on in your head. It's gonna be a lot harder

1326
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 1: to work hard. Or you could say I'm so blessed

1327
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,920
Speaker 1: I've been given this this body and this brain and

1328
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: all of the challenges in life. That I've had to

1329
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 1: get me to this moment. It would be a shame

1330
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 1: if I didn't use it for myself, for the greater

1331
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: good of people. It's the exact same circumstance, but it's

1332
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: a completely different perception. And I always say, we're all

1333
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 1: looking at the same thing, we're all seeing something different,

1334
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 1: and that's literally how life is. And so if we

1335
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 1: can go all right, like I don't like the way

1336
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: that I feel when I look at something through this lens, Okay,

1337
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 1: is it possible for me to see another perspective? And

1338
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,439
Speaker 1: if we can find another perspective, you can always find

1339
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 1: another perspective for anything, any circumstances happening in your life,

1340
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:56,919
Speaker 1: and almost always you can find the positive or what

1341
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: you can learn from a challenge. And it's not saying

1342
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 1: that it's easy to go through those things and that

1343
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: life isn't hard, but it's saying I'm going to try

1344
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 1: to look at a different perspective of my life in

1345
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: this circumstance so that I can make something from my life.

1346
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, when Days said, when we change the way we

1347
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 2: look at things, the things we look at change, And

1348
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 2: I think it's so fascinating how we're always trying to

1349
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 2: change the situation. And I can't remember who said this,

1350
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 2: but it's a famous quote that says, we're always trying

1351
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 2: to change the situation, not realizing we were put in

1352
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 2: that situation so that we can change. And I think

1353
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 2: another layer to that is what you're saying is not

1354
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:39,880
Speaker 2: only are we always trying to change the situation and

1355
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 2: don't want to change ourself. Sometimes you don't have to

1356
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 2: change yourself fully, you just have to change your lens pient.

1357
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 2: And so there's three things to change your lens, yourself

1358
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 2: or the thing. And all of our focus goes on

1359
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 2: the thing, and life doesn't work well when we only

1360
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 2: focus on the thing. And so when we focus on

1361
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 2: changing ourselves and our lens, all of a sudden, you've

1362
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 2: expanded your opportunity of what to change, because sometimes the

1363
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 2: situation just won't change.

1364
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 1: Most of the time, it won't change. And that's what

1365
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 1: stresses people, is because we want to control most things,

1366
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: and we can control almost nothing. Like it's so out

1367
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 1: of everything that happens in your life, you could control

1368
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: zero point one percent, Like I would say, like you

1369
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: can you think that you could control everything happening around you?

1370
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 1: You can barely control your bowels after Taco Tuesday, Like

1371
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 1: you can barely control that. And You're like, I'm gonna

1372
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: change the universe. I'm gonna change everything around me. It's like,

1373
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 1: maybe instead of changing the universe and changing all the circumstances,

1374
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: maybe I should change my relationship to those circumstances and

1375
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 1: see if that helps me.

1376
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, Rob, it's always great having you on the show.

1377
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 2: I always love it so much. I feel like we

1378
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 2: just go back and forth, and Yeah, I.

1379
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: Enjoy these This is like so much fun. When we

1380
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 1: had we had a quick little break because something happened,

1381
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 1: I was like, man, this is so much fun. I

1382
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: love doing that.

1383
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 2: I know me too, And I hope you keep coming

1384
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 2: back on every year because this is I look forward

1385
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 2: to it. I always feel like we're giving people a

1386
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 2: real game plan. Everyone who's listened today, you know how

1387
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 2: to set goals, you know how to build discipline, you

1388
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 2: know how to not be let down by willpower. You've

1389
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 2: got the habit setting you up for the next year.

1390
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 2: You've got the tactics to go forward and have twenty

1391
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 2: twenty six be the best year of your life. And

1392
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 2: I think that's also a story. Like I've convinced myself

1393
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 2: that every year is the best year, it is the

1394
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 2: best year of my life, then yeah, And I don't

1395
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 2: want to look back and think, oh, eighteen was amazing,

1396
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 2: and twenty five was amazing and thirty was amazing. And

1397
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 2: I think people are scared of aging because we think

1398
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 2: it's a story. We think we're moving away from the

1399
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 2: best year of our life. But I promise you every

1400
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 2: year will be the best year of your life. If

1401
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 2: you convince yourself it is, you will find ways to

1402
01:03:36,880 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 2: make it the one hundred percent.

1403
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like, I'm actually you know, I think

1404
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 1: aging is an interesting thing where it's like, you know,

1405
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 1: you could sit there and be like, oh my god,

1406
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 1: I don't look the same, I've got wrinkles, But you

1407
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: can also be like, man, do you how much wiser

1408
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: I am than I used to be? Like the stuff

1409
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 1: I did when I was seventeen years old, Oh my god,

1410
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: I don't. I would never do any of those things

1411
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 1: now at thirty nine. But I feel like I'm wiser.

1412
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm happier, I feel like I'm at

1413
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 1: more p P And those are the things that I'm

1414
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 1: working on the most. And if I can, if I'm

1415
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 1: getting wiser and happier and more joyful and more peace

1416
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:09,840
Speaker 1: Where am I going to be in ten years? Like

1417
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 1: it's only going to continue to get better every single year,

1418
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 1: which is a perception. Right. You could say this is

1419
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 1: going to be the worst year. Oh my god, last

1420
01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 1: year socked, blah blah blah. Or you could say, no,

1421
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:20,720
Speaker 1: this is going to be the best year of my life,

1422
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 1: and I'm going to figure out a way to make

1423
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 1: it the best year of my life.

1424
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 2: I think you just added the most important part. I

1425
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 2: think what's really crazy is when we say things like

1426
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 2: I hope this is the best year, and what we're

1427
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 2: saying is it's like saying I hope it's sunny today,

1428
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 2: which you have no control of it. Whereas when you

1429
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 2: go I'm going to make this the best year, it's

1430
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:39,400
Speaker 2: almost like we always got it. What do you want

1431
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:40,920
Speaker 2: out of this year? And it's like, well, no, the

1432
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:42,920
Speaker 2: year is not going to give you anything. Yeah, is

1433
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 2: going to give you what you put in and what

1434
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 2: you build and what you bring in. And I think

1435
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 2: that switch of leading with intention and what you make

1436
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 2: of something, it's almost like when people say I hope

1437
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 2: today's a great day, it's like, no, I'll make today

1438
01:04:56,160 --> 01:05:00,240
Speaker 2: a great day. It's a different mindset because I hope

1439
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 2: today is a good day. Means I hope the train

1440
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,200
Speaker 2: is empty so there's a seat for me. I hope

1441
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 2: the person at work is nice to me. I hope.

1442
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 2: I mean that you just can't do anything about it.

1443
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 2: But you can walk on the train and find a

1444
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,440
Speaker 2: comfortable spot. If you're early, you can go to work

1445
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:19,080
Speaker 2: and bring your best energy to the people who give

1446
01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 2: you energy. And I hope this episode helps people claim

1447
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 2: back their control one hundred percent.

1448
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a there's a good piece of it. The

1449
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 1: last last thing I'll say that because we talked about

1450
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: Buddha and Christian You know, when you think about like

1451
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 1: creating the best day and manifesting the best day, I

1452
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: think the best the best thing that's ever been said

1453
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 1: on manifesting was said by Jesus, and he said, whatever

1454
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:43,720
Speaker 1: you pray for and believe that you have received it,

1455
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: it will be yours. And if we can just go Okay,

1456
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 1: if you want to pray, you can. If you want

1457
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:52,440
Speaker 1: to whatever it is, journal give gradu to whatever, but

1458
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 1: believe that you have received it, not believe that it's

1459
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:57,439
Speaker 1: coming to you, but believe that you have received it,

1460
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 1: it will be yours. And so if I wait and

1461
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going to make today one of the

1462
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 1: best days of my life. I'm going to make this

1463
01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:07,400
Speaker 1: year one of the best days of my life. In fact,

1464
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:11,240
Speaker 1: I'm saying it incorrectly. This is the best year of

1465
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 1: my life. This I have received it, This is the

1466
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 1: best your of my life. It will be yours. And

1467
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:18,520
Speaker 1: I think if people can look through that perception and go, well, really,

1468
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:20,920
Speaker 1: wise guy two thousand year set it. I'm not as

1469
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:22,960
Speaker 1: wise as him. Maybe I should just take his advice

1470
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 1: and do what it says.

1471
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,520
Speaker 2: You know well, I said, yeah, everyone who's listening and watching,

1472
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 2: make sure you tag us, both me and Rob on

1473
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,960
Speaker 2: TikTok on Instagram. I love seeing all the clips you make.

1474
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 2: I want to see what resonates with you, what you're

1475
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 2: experimenting with. We're both wishing you an amazing twenty twenty six.

1476
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 2: I hope you go into the year and absolutely crush it,

1477
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 2: and remember, don't try and do everything, do less, focus

1478
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 2: on one. You can subscribe to the Mindset Mental podcast,

1479
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,080
Speaker 2: follow Rob across social media and he'll be back next year.

1480
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:51,680
Speaker 1: Nice.

1481
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,320
Speaker 2: Nice, I love it, Bro. Thank you, Hava. If this

1482
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 2: year you're trying to live longer, live happier, live healthier,

1483
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:01,200
Speaker 2: go and check out my conversation with the world's biggest

1484
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 2: longevity doctor, Peter Attia on how to slow down aging

1485
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 2: and why your emotional health is directly impacting your physical health.

1486
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 1: Acknowledge that there is surprisingly little known about the relationship

1487
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 1: between nutrition and health, and people are going to be

1488
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 1: shocked to hear that, because I think most people think

1489
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:20,920
Speaker 1: the exact opposite.