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Speaker 1: All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings

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Speaker 1: that you just won't mayby a cat, got your cob

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Speaker 1: and locking no.

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Speaker 2: Brother lady's and felts, do you just follow ann the

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Speaker 2: spirit where.

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Speaker 1: It's all the front over real stuff to the chill

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Speaker 1: stuff and am but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you

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Speaker 1: can do it just stop you feel things. This is

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Speaker 1: feeling things with Amy and Cat.

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Speaker 2: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat.

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Speaker 2: And my feeling of the day, well, I guess we

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Speaker 2: both have them. I have a question about mine though.

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Speaker 2: It's tired of feeling like I know that. Like physically

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Speaker 2: I feel tired, but it's.

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Speaker 1: Not a are you feeling emotion?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm just tired.

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Speaker 1: Oh so that's my feeling, the physical feeling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a physical So physically I feel tired. I

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Speaker 2: did not sleep last night.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I do? Oh? Do you want

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Speaker 1: to share?

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Speaker 2: Sure? But no judgment.

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Speaker 1: I'm not judging.

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Speaker 2: This is a safe space. Yes, okay, you know how

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Speaker 2: I've been adderall free for all year.

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Speaker 1: Did you take one?

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Speaker 2: Took one? I took one yesterday because it was strategic.

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Speaker 2: I had a lot to do and of course I

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Speaker 2: have other tools I can implement, but this is a

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Speaker 2: tool that I have. Like I've had that bottle all

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Speaker 2: year and I haven't dipped into it. But I dipped

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Speaker 2: in yesterday and guess what, I got it all done.

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Speaker 2: But then I couldn't go to sleep because my body

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Speaker 2: just wasn't used to it. Once I got used to adderall,

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Speaker 2: I could take it and sleep, no problem.

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Speaker 1: It's also okay, you prescribe that medication.

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Speaker 2: I am prescribed that message, so it's not like you're.

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Speaker 1: A drug addict right now. Dipped into your stash like

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Speaker 1: that's a medication.

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Speaker 2: Year. When I opened up my drawer and I pulled

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Speaker 2: it out, I was like, okay, here goes nothing. And

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Speaker 2: then I took it and then it was interesting. I

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Speaker 2: don't know exactly what it's doing, not a doctor, but

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Speaker 2: whatever's during to my neurotransmitters. I liked it and I

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Speaker 2: felt just capable of doing. And while I was doing it,

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Speaker 2: I was thinking, is this what some people just do?

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Speaker 2: Like they just take the thing outside and finally rinse

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Speaker 2: that off. I had a thought of cleaning the basketball

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Speaker 2: goal that popped into my mind, like it needs a

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Speaker 2: new net, and then the glass the basketball goal, the

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Speaker 2: on the driveway, the glass part is a little dirty,

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Speaker 2: and I did have a thought that this is where

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Speaker 2: I'm also proud of myself, and I was like, that's

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Speaker 2: not why we took out all. We didn't take out

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Speaker 2: all to clean the basketball goal. Would it look better, yes,

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Speaker 2: but you took it for a purpose. And we're prepping

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Speaker 2: for a vacation and getting everybody packed and I normally

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Speaker 2: pack the night before a trip or the morning.

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Speaker 1: Of yeah, right before you leave.

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Speaker 2: So part of my planning and awareness was I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: get as much done as possible a week ahead of time,

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Speaker 2: and that was my day to do it. So I

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Speaker 2: did it and I'm not using again today. Okay, can

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Speaker 2: you say that in different now. I was just making

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Speaker 2: a little joke. I know, Kathy Derakis, so we need

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Speaker 2: to take this seriously. I know that I had permission

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Speaker 2: to take it, and I wanted to make sure I

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Speaker 2: could share because I know I've been candid about my journey,

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Speaker 2: and I guess part of me feels a little bit

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Speaker 2: of shame if I'm being honest, of like, why can't

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Speaker 2: I just function this way without it? And I will

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Speaker 2: set that aside because there's nothing wrong with me. This

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Speaker 2: is the brain that I have, and some days naturally

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Speaker 2: I'm able to tap into it, and I have other

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Speaker 2: tools that will get me there. But yesterday I knew

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Speaker 2: I needed the extra help and so I took it

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Speaker 2: and it helped me. Like I got it done and

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Speaker 2: I'm thankful.

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Speaker 1: I just think it's interesting. I feel this too, that

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, some people who have ADHD or anything

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Speaker 1: it can be depression, anxiety, or whatever, would feel like

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Speaker 1: they're cheating by taking a medication that puts them on

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Speaker 1: the even playing field with other people. Like hearing you

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Speaker 1: say that, I get it. I relate to that too.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it feels like me taking the medication that is

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Speaker 1: prescribed to me to help me function normally feels like cheating,

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Speaker 1: when in reality it's just putting you on an even

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Speaker 1: playing field. There's a lot of I think rhetoric around

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Speaker 1: talk that I think helps people feel that way. But

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Speaker 1: it's just when you put it that way, it's like

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Speaker 1: you are working harder. I'm gonna say this, and you

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Speaker 1: tell me what you think. Most days you have to

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Speaker 1: work harder to function the way a neurotypical person functions,

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Speaker 1: and you don't complain about it. You do it. I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes you get down on yourself because you don't

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Speaker 1: perform the same way, But like you're working harder, So

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Speaker 1: why would there be a need for you to feel

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Speaker 1: shame to just like have a day that everybody else has.

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Speaker 1: Like it's almost like give myself a break, but it's

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Speaker 1: not even a break, it's just normal. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, thank you for saying that that helps, like the

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Speaker 2: even playing field. I have heard that before, but obviously

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Speaker 2: hadn't thought of it in a while, and certainly not

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Speaker 2: in this case. So that already is helping me. Like

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Speaker 2: hearing you say that, I'm sure it's helping others, whether

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Speaker 2: it's acation for anything. It doesn't even have to be

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Speaker 2: ADHD could be for whatever it is that you need

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Speaker 2: to have it. I guess it's just you know, you

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Speaker 2: kind of go. I went six months. It's not like

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Speaker 2: I was on some streak. I didn't plan on breaking

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Speaker 2: it at all. It was sort of a Saturday night decision.

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Speaker 2: When I wake up tomorrow, I think I'm going to

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Speaker 2: take it, because.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like self care. Tell take yes.

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Speaker 2: I know that I will get everything done with ease.

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Speaker 2: And it wasn't like I was running around some energizer, Bunny.

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Speaker 2: I was just moving from one thing to the next

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Speaker 2: with flow and purpose and ease, like it just felt

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Speaker 2: good and nothing was like a big deal. It was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: now I'm going to go do this. And I was

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Speaker 2: completing tasks because I can do a bunch of things.

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Speaker 2: But I go and I start a task and then

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, now I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes.

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Speaker 2: I was doing a load of laundry and the laundry

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Speaker 2: hasn't started yet, but.

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Speaker 1: Oh I didn't switch my laundry before I came over here, damn.

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Speaker 2: So how are you feeling? So that's my feeling, you know, Yeah, which,

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Speaker 2: thank you for talking me through that.

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Speaker 1: I relate to all you're saying because also, I'm not

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Speaker 1: taking medication right now, not because I don't want to,

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Speaker 1: but because I'm trying to do other things that that

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Speaker 1: medication does not mix well with. So I've been feeling

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Speaker 1: kind of down on myself for not doing things with

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Speaker 1: ease the way that I normally, well not even normally do,

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Speaker 1: but the way that I had been operating, Like a

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Speaker 1: phone call takes a lot of energy. But outside of that,

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Speaker 1: I texted you this morning and said, I'm feeling SIB.

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Speaker 2: Which do you want to explain to any new listeners

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Speaker 2: what SIB means? Sorry, I beatchy in case we have

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Speaker 2: small ears listening. Yeah, sorry, I witchy with a B.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That's our new code.

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Speaker 2: It's our code for I guess we developed it when

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Speaker 2: I was being you and I said, well, you can

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Speaker 2: just say if you need to warn me, sib. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then I can say to you SIB yeah, And

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Speaker 2: it helps just cut the edge, like there's no it's

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Speaker 2: like this is a safe space.

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Speaker 1: I am feeling a little bit of that. But I

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Speaker 1: think really what I'm feeling is like melancholy, like just low.

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Speaker 1: And I was feeling that before I started working on

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Speaker 1: podcast stuff this morning and I found something. I want

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Speaker 1: you to explain it because it's yours that I use,

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Speaker 1: and I did. That was really helpful that I thought

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Speaker 1: we could talk about, you know what I'm trying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so a little behind the scenes baseball. We have

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Speaker 2: a Google doc with different things like cats ideas, Amy's ideas,

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Speaker 2: and I know you did the exercise and you haven't

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Speaker 2: shown me. So just because we have this Google doc

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean we always know exactly what the other person's

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Speaker 2: going to say it's just a general prompt or idea

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Speaker 2: or activity like this is an activity and listeners can

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Speaker 2: do it too, Like, for example, you had no idea

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Speaker 2: I took out roll yesterday. You didn't know I was

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Speaker 2: going to say that. I didn't even know I was

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Speaker 2: going to say that. Honestly, I was going to keep

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Speaker 2: it to myself.

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Speaker 1: But then I thought, I then I didn't take my

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Speaker 1: medication today, so it just came out right.

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Speaker 2: But then I thought, I know exactly why I'm tired. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I've been telling you since you got to my

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Speaker 2: house that I'm tired.

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Speaker 1: I did our honesty circle.

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Speaker 2: Right, and so then but it's like, well, why didn't

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Speaker 2: I sleep. It's not like I'm perplexed by it. I

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Speaker 2: know exactly why. So I thought I would just finally

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Speaker 2: tell you, which you didn't know that. So some stuff

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Speaker 2: is we try to keep as organic as possible, which

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Speaker 2: is why Kat hasn't shared her activity with me. My

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Speaker 2: activity was already in the Google docs, so you could

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Speaker 2: see my example. But it's called sky journaling. And this

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Speaker 2: is an exercise that you can do if you're wanting

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Speaker 2: to process feelings. So you can go outside with your

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Speaker 2: journal and find a cloud, look into the sky and

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Speaker 2: draw a cloud, and.

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Speaker 1: Then take an actual cloud and you draw, you.

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Speaker 2: Draw the cloud, and I mean, I'm not an artist,

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Speaker 2: so like I want to see yours. Yeah, my cloud.

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Speaker 2: These are some days my journal I just write, like, really,

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Speaker 2: there's money in there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I found that.

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Speaker 2: I found that.

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Speaker 1: The other days I.

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Speaker 2: Have no idea. Okay, there's my cloud.

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Speaker 1: Oh did you draw better? Look very different?

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, well I don't know how else to draw

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Speaker 2: a cloud.

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Speaker 1: Cloud look, okay, this is how I interpreted the assignment

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Speaker 1: to go and try to sketch the cloud as it

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Speaker 1: looks in the sky.

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Speaker 2: That is like it looked to me.

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Speaker 1: Okay, because that looks like a cloud. If you were like,

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Speaker 1: draw a cloud, I would just draw that. But that's

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Speaker 1: what the cloud looked like. Okay, okay, like a puffy okay.

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Speaker 2: A little like a perfectly puffy.

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Speaker 1: See my cloud, You're gonna understand what I mean.

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Speaker 2: It was a perfectly puffy, fluffy white cloud. And the

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Speaker 2: sun was out, so I have the sun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess sky Journal. Show that to the camera

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Speaker 1: so the camera can see if you're watching on YouTube, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know what this page says, so, so there's my puffy,

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Speaker 2: my cloud, my puffy fluffy. It kind of makes me

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Speaker 2: want to go see what I wrote, what this last

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Speaker 2: journal injury was, because I have a classic ADHD. I

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Speaker 2: have like five journals that I bounce around, journal through

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Speaker 2: good times. Okay, so, oh my poem. What you do

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Speaker 2: is you sketch the cloud and then you write a poem.

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Speaker 2: And poetry is gonna look different for everybody. There are

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Speaker 2: no rules. I chose to rhyme.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I follow suit.

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Speaker 2: Okay, cat followed suit. Can't wait to hear yours. Feeling

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Speaker 2: all puffy up in the sky perimenopause making me want

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Speaker 2: to die. Just kidding, it's not that bad. I'm just

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Speaker 2: tired of randomly feeling annoyed and sad. No, that makes

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Speaker 2: me want to cry. Yeah, because I know where I

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Speaker 2: was when I wrote this. At least I get to

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Speaker 2: sit here next to the sun. I wonder what life

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Speaker 2: would be like as a nun. Never mind, I don't

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Speaker 2: think that'd be fun. And so it was a sky

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Speaker 2: journaling activity. I had no idea where it was going

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Speaker 2: to take me, but I love the concept because there

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Speaker 2: was emotion there, Like I felt sad that then I

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Speaker 2: also was able to laugh. And it doesn't have to

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Speaker 2: be long, it doesn't have to be overhel But after

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Speaker 2: I journaled that, I felt better, and so it's I

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Speaker 2: think you did it and you felt better from what

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Speaker 2: I know, But I just don't know what the poem is.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that I would I would say I

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Speaker 1: felt better, and I don't want to give people false hope.

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Speaker 2: Here.

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Speaker 1: It helped me give myself compassion for where I was,

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Speaker 1: and I was able to better understand what was going

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Speaker 1: on because I knew, like I know why I feel

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Speaker 1: this way, Like right now, I feel on the verge

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Speaker 1: of tears. I told you that when I got here,

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Speaker 1: Like I just feel that today nothing's going nothing's wrong,

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Speaker 1: everything is fine in my life, Like nothing has changed

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Speaker 1: from yesterday today, nothing has changed from the week when

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Speaker 1: I was like I feel so energized. I think that

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Speaker 1: was like two weeks ago. Nothing has changed in my life.

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Speaker 1: Just some things that I'm doing in my life have changed.

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Speaker 1: In that sense, I know why this is happening, but

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Speaker 1: I just like feel like I'm on the verge of

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Speaker 1: like I could just go lock myself in the room

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Speaker 1: in my room for a week. I feel like so

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Speaker 1: I think me doing this, which I'm thinking about this,

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Speaker 1: I've never gone and looked at your ideas. I think

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Speaker 1: I've done that once. And I don't know what made

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Speaker 1: me do that today, and I like how to scroll?

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Speaker 1: This was not like one of the top ideas. This

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Speaker 1: was kind of maybe in the middle. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: So I'm kind of curious of what made me do

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Speaker 1: that and why today did I see that? Because if

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Speaker 1: I saw that on another day, I might have been like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's stupid, like you know, like sky Darling Jay, and

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Speaker 1: like I don't I don't know, but like there's something

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Speaker 1: about that that I was like, wait a second. And

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Speaker 1: I read your poem and it didn't make me laugh,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, I'm giving you the play

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Speaker 1: by play that I was gonna sit down and I

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Speaker 1: got some paper and I have a journal. I found a

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Speaker 1: pad of paper and I was about to draw a cloud,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, no, you're supposed to go outside

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Speaker 1: and find the cloud and draw the cloud that you see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well I can't wait to see because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what I just I just drew a cloud. Okay, show

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Speaker 2: me tell me it looks like a it looks like

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Speaker 2: a peanut or a dragon or a lizard. Oh, it

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Speaker 2: looks like a whale. It's a whale. Wow. You know

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Speaker 2: how sometimes clouds look like yeah, it looks it looks righted?

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Speaker 1: Are it just loo? Okay? I didn't see any of

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Speaker 1: those things. But I also didn't put into a perspective.

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Speaker 1: I made it dark. I thought I was just like,

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Speaker 1: this is so telling of what because like with my mood, like,

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Speaker 1: why did I have to draw it color it in

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Speaker 1: like that?

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Speaker 2: Because you were doing then a dark cloud was white.

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Speaker 2: But this is that you were coloring in the white

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Speaker 2: you didn't have if you had white paint, yeah, a

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Speaker 2: white and colored in.

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Speaker 1: But you thought that the shading was going to make

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Speaker 1: me feel like, oh this is soothing. Maybe.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's what's the beauty of sky journaling. I

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Speaker 2: think we're learning is that everyone's gonna have their own

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Speaker 2: interpretation of how to draw or what to draw. I

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Speaker 2: guess now we're giving details, which I would love our

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Speaker 2: listeners to do this for homework and if they could

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Speaker 2: eat em us their poems, that would be great, Like

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Speaker 2: how fun.

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Speaker 1: Would that be?

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Speaker 2: That would be just what comes out? Yeah, can you

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Speaker 2: scan it or take a picture and attach it in

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Speaker 2: the email because I think reading those back on Eric

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Speaker 2: would be fun and therapeutic for listeners. So if you

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Speaker 2: do send us your poem, also attach permission to share,

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Speaker 2: because who knows what may come up for you. If

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Speaker 2: it's too personal, you don't have to share it, but

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Speaker 2: you never know, and you know earlier I was saying

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Speaker 2: it made me feel better, which I like that you

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Speaker 2: put like.

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Speaker 1: I felt compassion for myself.

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Speaker 2: I felt changed, right, your mood necessarily didn't change. I

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Speaker 2: think mine did because whenever I name that my wild

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Speaker 2: hormones or my behavior that just feels really wonky to

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Speaker 2: me is likely perimenopause. I feel better, and so doing

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Speaker 2: that poem helped me name it. Who knows what it'll

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Speaker 2: do for you, but it could be that, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: just have compassion for yourself, or maybe you do feel

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Speaker 2: a little bit better. It's information. Yeah, maybe it'll tell

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Speaker 2: you something. The poem is now going to speak to

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Speaker 2: you based on what comes out, which I don't think

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Speaker 2: I have any plans of being a nun. It just

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Speaker 2: rhymed your limited on your words.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah I did. I will say I didn't feel better,

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Speaker 1: I felt compassion, but it gave me an idea of

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Speaker 1: where I was, like it helped me. It did help me.

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Speaker 1: I think the point of this was like, help you

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Speaker 1: slow down and be and it was like, okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: take a second for yourself so you can recognize where

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Speaker 1: you are. So then I don't go around projecting this

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Speaker 1: feeling on other things, because what I'm going through I

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Speaker 1: just have to sit it out, like wait it out,

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Speaker 1: like it just I'm going to be here for a

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Speaker 1: little bit, so I'd like to be able to know

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Speaker 1: where to put this energy. So help me read you

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Speaker 1: my poem.

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Speaker 2: I cannot wait. I'm ready.

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Speaker 1: Oh little cloud, you look much like an alligator as

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Speaker 1: you float through the sky. I imagine you yelling, I

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Speaker 1: hope I don't see you later. I get it. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you just want to be alone. It is going to

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Speaker 1: make me cry with nothing to do, no one to

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Speaker 1: answer on the phone. Is it exhausting to float through

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Speaker 1: the sky all day? Does it feel like a job

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Speaker 1: or does it feel like play? It sounds nice, but

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Speaker 1: I guess lots of people are staring at you, judging

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Speaker 1: what you look like and if you're blocking their view,

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Speaker 1: if you're giving the sun enough space to shine or

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Speaker 1: creating the right amount of shade so we can have

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Speaker 1: a good time. Some people might think you haven't made

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Speaker 1: but that's a lot of pressure and I don't think

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Speaker 1: you even get paid. Well this is this is long,

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Speaker 1: but I love it. I was really into it.

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Speaker 2: This is warming my heart.

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Speaker 1: I guess what I want you to hear from me is,

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Speaker 1: if you are tired of being a good cloud all day,

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Speaker 1: maybe you should just be I feel like doctor Seuss.

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Speaker 2: So what I hear it as someone receiving what you're

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Speaker 2: saying is that maybe during this time you just need

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Speaker 2: to let what it is be. Yeah, and it's gonna suck, yeah,

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00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 2: but it just has to be.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna name another feeling. I feel silly because

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00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 1: that poem is like silly. Like as I was writing it,

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Speaker 1: I was kind of like.

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Speaker 4: Oh really, you don't even get paid, like relate to

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Speaker 4: it a lot, and it was interesting where your mind

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Speaker 4: just went, Like why did my mind just go like

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Speaker 4: I hope that O or I bet you're saying I

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Speaker 4: hope you.

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Speaker 1: I don't see you later, like because I want to

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Speaker 1: just like lock myself in a room for a couple hours, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe by myself. And I can't do that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I can't later, but it just was right after this.

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Speaker 1: It just was interesting to me that like my brain

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Speaker 1: went there because I could have I mean same with you.

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Speaker 1: You could have written about anything. So it's very telling.

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Speaker 1: And also it did bring a little levity. But at

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00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,400
Speaker 1: the end it was like, yeah, I'm writing this about

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00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 1: this cloud, but like I just want to like give

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Speaker 1: myself the grace that I'm not going to be as

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00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,919
Speaker 1: fun or like energized or silly or breezy or whatever

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00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 1: right now. I just I'm gonna this is what I'm

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Speaker 1: working with right now. Alligator Cloud, I love it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that with us. With both of us,

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00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: we got emotional when we were reading ours, and then

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00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 2: we also laughed. So I don't know that that will

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00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 2: happen for everybody, but I think it's kind of neat though.

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00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:28,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think part of my laughter is avoidance of vulnerability.

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00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 2: Well yeah, it's kind of funny though when you made

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00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,120
Speaker 2: like the other you don't even get paid. Yeah, there's

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00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: there's levity in it. And also, yes, what's going on

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Speaker 2: with you could be like, oh, let's avoid this, let's

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Speaker 2: laugh so I don't cry. But I just I think

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00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 2: it's could be a neat activity for people. I don't

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Speaker 2: know what's going to come up for people, but if

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00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 2: you need to laugh and cry or just tap into

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Speaker 2: whatever you're feeling, then it also takes the pressure off

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Speaker 2: of it being about you because it's about the cloud.

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00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not good with just random journaling. You

400
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 1: need to prompt, so it was helpful to have like

401
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,119
Speaker 1: a prompt, and it was like a simple prompt. I

402
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 1: didn't I just wrote that poem. I didn't write anything

403
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 1: else in there of like, how what's that was just

404
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 1: a cough? Well, oh, I meant like I didn't expand

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00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 1: on my feelings after that. I feel like you are

406
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 1: good at like writing about your day when you do it,

407
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: yeah pages, Yeah, and you even reward yourself with money,

408
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 1: seems if that's.

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Speaker 2: Just I'm keeping it. I found it in there. And

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00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 2: then also I don't know why this ripped out, but

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00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 2: maybe I was angry. But that was August twenty twenty four,

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00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,399
Speaker 2: so you never know when I'm gonna grab what journal.

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00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: I need to just go around the house and collect them,

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Speaker 2: and then I need to finish each journal because I

415
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 2: would like to see it through.

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00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, So thanks for that tip.

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00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 2: You're welcome. Hey, there at Feeling Things podcast dot com

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00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 2: is where you can email us your poems and your permission, right,

419
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 2: your consent.

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00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: For like I your release of information.

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00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we're hip hop and here where you are

422
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 2: are therapist, hippa. Is that what y'all fall under? Are

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00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,719
Speaker 2: therapist zippa? Is that what y'all fall under? Hippa?

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00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: Can you say that fall under? You can say hip hop?

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00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 2: I don't know. I always feel what we were talking

426
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 2: about things that like, because I don't want you to

427
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 2: get in trouble, but I know doctors and nurses health

428
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: information is yours?

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00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: Like do y'all take is it? The hippoph Yeah, okay,

430
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 1: the hip Yeah. We can't release information of people without

431
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:48,199
Speaker 1: their consent, right for sure, we protect their privacy. See yeah,

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00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 1: but we just have different information than a doctor would have.

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Speaker 2: Well, something I saw you throw in the doc that

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00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 2: I'm very curious about is pop psychology versus actual psychology.

435
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 2: And I'm very very curious to see what this is about.

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00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: My guess is the pop psychology is a lot of

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00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 2: what we see online, sort of the TikTok or Instagram

438
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 2: version of something like therapeutic that's going on in somebody's

439
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 2: life or I don't even know the proper word or

440
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,439
Speaker 2: what it would be, but something. But it's like, is

441
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 2: that actually the real definition or what that is? Or

442
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 2: you know, it gets it gets overused and then it

443
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 2: gets muddy and you don't really know what it means.

444
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 1: Well, and then the word the meaning changes. So I

445
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 1: actually found this from the therapists Uncensored podcast posted this

446
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,199
Speaker 1: on their Instagram, and I talked a lot about this

447
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: when I did unique therapy of like what these things

448
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,719
Speaker 1: are and what they are in the pop culture world.

449
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 1: And so this just took four popular terms and talked

450
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: about what people think they mean and then what they

451
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: actually mean in a clinical setting. And I want to

452
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: preface this with something about language. Is that language changes,

453
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 1: Like that's why there's some words we don't need use anymore.

454
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,360
Speaker 1: There's some words that meant this and now they mean this,

455
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 1: and like your grandma might say it meaning this, but

456
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: you say it meaning this, And that's true for these

457
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: things too, and I think it's important to be intentional

458
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: about how we use certain words. I also saw I

459
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 1: didn't say this because I didn't fact check it, but

460
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's some truth to it. It was a

461
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: research study that talked about how truthful the information you're

462
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 1: getting on TikTok and Instagram is when it comes to

463
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 1: mental health information. And I think what they said is,

464
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to preface this with I don't actually know

465
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: that actual, but it was something like sixty to seventy

466
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: percent of the information you're getting on social media platforms

467
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: about mental health can be incorrect. Also, I didn't read

468
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 1: the whole article, so I want to say what I imagine

469
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: is part of that probably is like it's not completely false,

470
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: but it's not completely true.

471
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 2: Well, and then people are left to kind of figure

472
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 2: it out from themselves and then they can kind of

473
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 2: take from that without further conversation or thinking around it.

474
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 2: Something I noticed about myself since we've become closer the

475
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 2: last few years is working on my critical thinking because

476
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 2: I tend to well, first of all, it's exhausting for me. Well, yeah,

477
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 2: I mean I liked a critical thinking. I can and

478
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: I want to think for myself, but it can be

479
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 2: you just want to trust hiring to Yes, I rather

480
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: trust a source. And when I find somebody that I

481
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 2: like or they seem to be popping off as a kids, say,

482
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: I will follow and start to listen and want to

483
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: take in everything that they're saying, like you know this,

484
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 2: I had this with Mel Robbins, which I think just

485
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,239
Speaker 2: I'm also prefacing that Kat and I might do a

486
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: deep dive on smiling because that like, and Cat's been waiting.

487
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 2: She you know, you mentioned like a month ago something

488
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 2: used to do on couch talks when you had you

489
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 2: Need Therapy podcast was deep dives and or wor deep

490
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: dives and you miss them. And I thought, okay, well,

491
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: let's do a deep dive into Mel Robbins and let

492
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 2: them because I think as a therapist you see some

493
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: confusion around that which as a whole, like it's parts

494
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: of the idea that are not harmful. But if you're

495
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 2: just kind of taking a snippet from social media, maybe

496
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: you're not even reading the whole book, or you do,

497
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: but then you're not doing some inner work to figure out, okay,

498
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: how does this really apply to me? You're just sort

499
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 2: of starting to throw around let them, let them, let them.

500
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 2: Then it can be harmful and you can speak about

501
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: any clients. I feel, like you said, you've had some

502
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: people that have been confused by it, but I don't know,

503
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 2: if you can say that hippa hippa, I.

504
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 1: Want to save it for when we do. But in

505
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: general is a confusing idea and there's just like what

506
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: I'll say about And I have to watch this for

507
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: myself because we do post things on social media and

508
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: even doing unique therapy, I had to constantly like check

509
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: myself of the things that go viral and the things

510
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: that do really well on the Internet are the things

511
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: that are the most shocking, and the truth is not

512
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: that shocking most of the time when it comes to

513
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 1: some of this mental health stuff. Thanks Shannon, and she

514
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: just found the actual post and it said analysis of

515
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: five hundred TikTok videos with the hashtag mental health or

516
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: mental health tips found that more than eighty percent were misleading.

517
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: Yeah that's scary, So like, yeah, that's the issue. And

518
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: misleading doesn't mean that they were bad, doesn't mean that

519
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: they're toxic, doesn't mean that they were like completely wrong.

520
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: It's that they weren't completely true. And that I think

521
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: the problem is with social media and mental health and

522
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: even what we're doing is there is so much nuance

523
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: in it that most of the interesting conversations can get

524
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 1: watered down. If we're really sitting there and talking about

525
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: all the nuanced because nuance is like not that interesting,

526
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: nuance is boring, and nuance is exhausting. But it's there

527
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,360
Speaker 1: for a.

528
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 2: Reason well, and a lot of it gets our attention

529
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 2: because sometimes it's prefaced with and mel will do this,

530
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 2: and this is what I had to realize. I often

531
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 2: was like sucked in by like this thing will change

532
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: your life. Do this, and everything will change or be

533
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,959
Speaker 2: this way, and it's like it's not that simple, but

534
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,959
Speaker 2: it's there's something shocking that like draws you in. And

535
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 2: so then I was hooked and not that And by

536
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 2: the way, the deep dive is not going to be

537
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: like a slam No, it's not like it's critical thinking

538
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 2: getting more information and thinking of like some of these

539
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: really huge influencers that or she's not even influence her

540
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 2: she is now, but like she started off as like

541
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 2: self help and coach and a lot of people in

542
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 2: that space. There's a lot we could name in the

543
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 2: group the category she falls into, and you just have

544
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 2: to like be aware. And I think I just bought

545
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: into it all right away, and Kat had a little

546
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: more just you're more hesitant with those people than I

547
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 2: and so I started to use more critical thinking and

548
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: then it's like once I wasn't. So it's sort of

549
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 2: like the veil was lifted a little bit and I

550
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: start to notice things and I'm like, oh, that doesn't

551
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 2: seem right. And Kat and I even struggle with like

552
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: sometimes when we're coming up with titles, we're like, well,

553
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 2: we want people to click and listen, but also we

554
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 2: don't think that this is going to change every single

555
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: thing might change your life. Now have we used that before?

556
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't.

557
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, but there might be one little thing

558
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 2: that we feel like, this could be a game changer

559
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,239
Speaker 2: for you. But then you're gonna have to try it

560
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 2: for yourself and see what works. And we'll circle back

561
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 2: to the mail thing later.

562
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 1: But it's a hard to fit. Yeah, it's a hard

563
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: dance of Obviously, this is part of our job, and

564
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 1: we have jobs in order to make money and be

565
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: an ethical it's hard and that also I was as

566
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: I'm saying this, We're always open to feedback. So if

567
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 1: we do something that feels misleading, I would love to

568
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 1: know that. Oh I want to know y. Yeah, And

569
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: I could talk about this all day. So let's get

570
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: into these this will be like a precursor to the

571
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: mail Robins Deep Dive. And again, this is not to

572
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: like hate on her. It's more to examine things so

573
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 1: then you can take that information and apply it to

574
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: the other things you're seeing. One thing I'll say before

575
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: I get into these what I tried to do with

576
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: mel because I feel like sometimes I'm such a Debbie

577
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: downer with you, because I'm like, oh, come on, like like.

578
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: Because other people I'm a fan of, yes, and I'm

579
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 2: you're be honest. I'm glad you can be honest and

580
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: be like Amy, you don't need to fall for every

581
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,880
Speaker 2: single person you see on And I'm like, no, no,

582
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 2: no, no no, I just did a ten minute meditation and

583
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 2: it's going to change my life. And you're like, oh

584
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: my gosh.

585
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 1: But like what works for you? Like I don't want

586
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,359
Speaker 1: to like what is it? Like? Yuck? You're yum, Like

587
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 1: if it works for you, isn't that the same? Yeah,

588
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, yuck, You're I like it, Okay, yeah,

589
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: don't yuck my young Yeah. Maybe I'm like taking a

590
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: different saying, but I think that's a thing. But I

591
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: don't want to constantly feel like I'm like taking things

592
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: away from you that like you really like he and

593
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: you're really interested in and help you. So with Mel,

594
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: I feel like I held back a little bit and

595
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: like we talked about her a good bit. I feel

596
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: like on the fifth thing when we were doing that,

597
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: you kept your mouth shut, I kept my mouth shut,

598
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: and like there because not everything I'm getting ahead of myself,

599
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 1: but like, not everything she says is like ad or wrong,

600
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: Like some of it's I'm like, yeah, I agree with that.

601
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: So when you finally said something, I was like, okay,

602
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: let's talk about it.

603
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: When I finally said, like, oh, I'm not sure how

604
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: I feel about this now, or I couldn't even my

605
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: sister gifted me her last book and I couldn't even

606
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: finish it.

607
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: But you came to that conclusion on your own my own,

608
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: So I, in my own time, like it is not

609
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 1: my job to police what other people believe and think

610
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: and do and pay attention to. But what I do

611
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: like to do is stuff like these deep dives because

612
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: it helps people critically think. And you might not even

613
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: know who Mel Robbins is, but because you hear this

614
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: conversation about this, you take the ideas we're talking about

615
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: and you apply them to the other things you're seeing.

616
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: So yeah, puse and think about I guess too, Like

617
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 2: for anybody that might be a big mel fan. Again,

618
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 2: we keep saying her because it's the example. It's the

619
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: first deep dive we're going to do. There will be

620
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: multiple deep dives that show up. I'm sure. Should we

621
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 2: decide to do more than just a few that we've

622
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: talked about, well, I think there's plenty we could do.

623
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: But it's also not to persuade anybody to like, oh,

624
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: don't be a fan of her, because also I don't

625
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 2: want to bash anybody or I want to lift people up,

626
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 2: like she's doing her job and she's helping, and she's

627
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: helping lots of people. It's just I think I get

628
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: frustrated for you now because I see your point as

629
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 2: to like you went to school and you're a therapist

630
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: and you have all this work, and you have this oath,

631
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: Like therapist taken.

632
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: Take an oath. I don't know we're take an oath,

633
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: but like we have an ethical we've ethical guidelines we

634
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: have to abide by, and if somebody thinks that we're

635
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: breaking those, they can report us to a board. We

636
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: have to report to that board, and we might. I mean,

637
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: they can suspend our license. They can just give us

638
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: some kind of yeah something we can have to do

639
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: continue education.

640
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: But where are some of these coaches They don't have

641
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 2: an ethical board can do they don't. They can do

642
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 2: whatever they want and it's fine. And I do think

643
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 2: she has a lot of really amazing guests. This isn't

644
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: even so much about her podcasts because the guest she

645
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: has like a lot of times, they're brilliant. Yes, that's

646
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: the word I was gonna say they are, and the

647
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: word wasn't kind of up to me. Remember, I'm tired.

648
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: They're brilliant and they have a lot of insight and

649
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: they can help, and you know, they're reaching lots of people.

650
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 2: But then sometimes I hear like little tactics that hear

651
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 2: her doing or I'm like, wait, is this genuine or

652
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 2: are you just doing a manipulative tactic which we're all

653
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: trying to grow and do things. So then I'm like,

654
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: well should we be trying that? You know, we've even

655
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: joked on the podcast, like you know, I know you

656
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 2: want to send this to your sister right now, I'll

657
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 2: send this to one person that you know just one

658
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: person just like spread it. And it's like, do we

659
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: have to say that if people want to send it

660
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 2: to their sister, they'll send it to the sister. Yeah,

661
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 2: not like it's necessarily bad. But but she's done an

662
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 2: episode before where she's talking about little ways you can

663
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 2: get people to do what you want them to do,

664
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 2: and that was sort of one of the examples. And

665
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 2: then I hear her doing.

666
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: It and I'm like, you can't.

667
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: It just feels weird because I'm like, oh, am I

668
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: now doing this just because I'm being brainwashed to like

669
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 2: do this. So anyway, moving on popsycleology versus actually psychology.

670
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: Se we could talk about that for the whole podast Okay,

671
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: this again comes from the Therapist Uncensored podcast. It's a

672
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: great podcast. I will say it's very academic. They have

673
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 1: great guests as well. They're two actual I think they're

674
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: both have PhDs. But great podcasts if you want to

675
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: just learn about stuff. But they posted the pop psychology definition.

676
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 3: And what the actual clinical definition or like idea behind

677
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 3: these things are part of me wants to ask you

678
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: what you think these mean to say?

679
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: Are you okay?

680
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: I'm a perfect candidate because I am pop culture.

681
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: You might be right because you might know some of

682
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 1: these like clinical term because you also are in therapy.

683
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: And okay, yeah, so I think this could be interesting.

684
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: So the first one is trauma bonding. So when you

685
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: hear the word trauma bonding, what do you think.

686
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 2: It is when, well, I have two things popping in

687
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 2: my head right now. When you are bonded with somebody

688
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: through a trauma that you experienced together, not necessarily if

689
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 2: it happened to both of you, but like I think

690
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 2: of in a relationship, if one person is doing something

691
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 2: to the other person, like maybe they're emotionally abusive, do

692
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 2: you have a trauma bond relationship with that person?

693
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: Like me?

694
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's why you stay. That pops into my head.

695
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 2: And then also when you trauma bond with someone like

696
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: you you tell each other you're trauma okay, Like you

697
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: meet somebody at a bar and you're like, oh my gosh.

698
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 2: Which when I was in the thick of things, I

699
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 2: wasn't meeting someone at a bar, but I had a

700
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 2: lot going on. And one time I was at a

701
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 2: birthday party and my husband had stuff going on. My

702
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 2: son like my life, my dad died, like my life

703
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: was falling apart, but I went to this birthday party

704
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: because it was someone close to me. And then at

705
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 2: the party, I just randomly start telling someone there like

706
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: everything going on with me, and I left there mortified,

707
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: and I was like, what did I just do? But

708
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 2: I just like trauma dumped and they shared some stuff

709
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 2: back too about their life, So I felt like that

710
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 2: was a trauma bond situation.

711
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: No.

712
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: I mean, I've seen them since then, but I have

713
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 2: brought any of it up, and I've been I've left

714
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: there the whole drive home, like what did I just do?

715
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 2: Like why did I just unload that? It's not necessarily

716
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 2: wrote a party.

717
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: So perfect actually because you answered the So the pop

718
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: psychology definition, like what people I think when they say

719
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: I trauma bonded with them, I think they're thinking that

720
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 1: they're what they wrote in this post is when you're

721
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 1: bonding with someone over shared trauma or similar past experiences. Okay,

722
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: so that's not in clinical settings when I'm talking to

723
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 1: somebody about trauma bonding, that's not generally what I'm I

724
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: understand when they're saying that, that's what they think it means.

725
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: But it's what you said at the beginning I am

726
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: going to add to what they say because I think

727
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 1: trauma bonding can act you can it can be healthy,

728
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: and it's going to sound weird, but it can be

729
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: good in a sense. So the actual definition what they

730
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: put is a situation where someone develops a strong sympathy, loyalty,

731
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: or dependence or attachment towards their abuser. So you bond

732
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: with somebody who's you're like, you're in that trauma with them.

733
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: I'm blanking on it. But what's the syndrome where you

734
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: like fall in love with you capter. Yeah, Stockholm syndrome.

735
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 1: It's like that would a form of trauma.

736
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: Like Stockholm syndrome.

737
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: But also if you go through a trauma with somebody,

738
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: you're going to be trauma bonded with them.

739
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 2: So I see like my sister, like walking through cancer

740
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: with our mom and our dad, Like there were certain

741
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: things we went through that nobody else would understand, Like

742
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: I mean other people that walked through it with their parents.

743
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what I'm talking about, just like in our

744
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 2: family it was like, ah, you wouldn't get it, And

745
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: I feel like we're trauma bonded in that way.

746
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that I think there's there's two ways you

747
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 1: can look at that. But that's what that is. It's

748
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 1: not just sharing stories. It's like going through the experience. Gotcha, okay,

749
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: so good job a flus.

750
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 2: I didn't think about the sister part though, that that

751
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 2: makes sense now. So you can be trauma bonded if

752
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 2: you both like a sibling, like if you and your

753
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 2: siblings were raised in an alcoholic home or something, that

754
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 2: could be trauma bond.

755
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: And also, it doesn't even have to be an abuser.

756
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: But let's say you walk through, like in your relationship,

757
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: one of your partners has a lot of mental health issues,

758
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 1: whether that is addiction or I mean, any other mental

759
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: health issue. They might not be abusing you, but you're

760
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: going through this very difficult time with them and it

761
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 1: might be hard to separate because you've been through all

762
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: that together. You can be it's like a codependency, you know.

763
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: So there's trauma bonding. Next one is a fun one. Gaslighting.

764
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: What I know it to be is someone telling you

765
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 2: their truth but it's not the truth. They're trying to

766
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: convince you that that's the truth, and like you know

767
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 2: that it's not that they are living in their own world.

768
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 2: It seems and it doesn't matter. Their way is the

769
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 2: truth and they're not going to ever back down from that.

770
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: And it makes you kind of feel crazy.

771
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you feel crazy. I have been gas lit before.

772
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: It feels crazy.

773
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's pretty common. People have exaggerated it.

774
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: Where the pop term is like they're just lying to you.

775
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 2: Oh well yeah, like I hear my daughter and her friends,

776
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: like teenagers will just be like, oh, stop gaslighting me. Yeah,

777
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 2: I'm like okay, which that's what I'm it's lying, Okay,

778
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 2: it is, but that that seems probably more the more

779
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: pop way, but it's still lying, but it's it's more

780
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 2: lying but trying to condense somebody else that they're nuts.

781
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the pop way would be the pop way

782
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 1: in popular culture, it's lying or just like sometimes people

783
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: just like disagreeing with somebody, they're like, oh, you're gaslighting me.

784
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: That's just like disagreeing, or like maybe sometimes you just

785
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 1: lie because you're like lying. It doesn't mean that you're

786
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 1: manipulating somebody in an abusive way or a toxic way.

787
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: I mean, line is pretty toxic. The actual clinical term,

788
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: or actual clinical way it's viewed is an abuse tactic.

789
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: Where are where you are manipulated to question your reality,

790
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: memory or sanity, not just disagreeing over what happened. So

791
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: this is like blatant, like we're looking at the sky

792
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: and it's blue, and that person is saying, what are

793
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: you've seen the sky is yellow? And you're sitting there

794
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: being like, I see it blue, but like have I thought?

795
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: Now you're starting to question, like have I thought blue

796
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: is yellow? And yellow is blue? My whole life? Like

797
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: what were there? Blatant things in front of you? And

798
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: it's to make you feel crazy. So you start questioning

799
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: everybody everything, and you start to feel.

800
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 2: Weak, and if there's a power dynamic, then you definitely

801
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: do and you'll eventually just be like, okay, fine, it's yellow.

802
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: Versus versus like your daughter being like no, I was

803
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: home at curfew because they don't want to get in trouble,

804
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, that's just lying. Yes, Okay, next one,

805
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 1: This one grinds my gears sometimes triggered yum's my yucks.

806
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 2: This one really this really yucks my yums?

807
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,280
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, triggered triggered. Okay.

808
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 2: I just have one thing that's coming to mind, and

809
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: it's when you are having an emotional of this even

810
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 2: a visceral like a physical You're so smart, shut up. Okay,

811
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: thank you, Paul. No, I mean you're having a response

812
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: to something that has happened because of something that has

813
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: happened to you in the past.

814
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: Okay. Yes, So pop psychology says someone makes you uncomfortable

815
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: or annoyed, like oh, she triggered me.

816
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: Okay, So it doesn't always have to because of something

817
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 2: in the past.

818
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: Well that's the pop psychology. Oh sorry, the actual ding

819
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: ding ding amy. A trigger is something that causes a

820
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: sudden increase in symptoms like flashbacks in PTSD or compulsions

821
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: like in OCD, not just a source of general discomfort.

822
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,320
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's something's happening. It's bringing up this actual

823
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: visceral use up, big word visceral experience that's creating not

824
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: just like oh I was angry or annoyed or bothered me,

825
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: but like it's bringing up symptoms that have to do

826
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: with your trauma or OCD or something like that. So

827
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 1: good job. You're three for three girl, Are you ready

828
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: to go.

829
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 2: For four seventy five? So far?

830
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: Hit me up.

831
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a.

832
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: Hundred, Okay, But if you don't get a hundred. It's

833
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 1: also okay, thank you. Intrusive thoughts, thoughts that are intruding.

834
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 1: This one's probably your fartest.

835
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,760
Speaker 2: Well, but here's how I see it again, with my brain,

836
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:27,919
Speaker 2: thoughts that are taking over. They're interrupting what I have

837
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: going on.

838
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,720
Speaker 1: And are they thoughts that you really want to happen?

839
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: No, okay, they're not welcome necessarily. I haven't invited them there.

840
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to think them. They're just there, and

841
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: I want to make them stop, like I think of

842
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 2: I don't know if this falls into it's the right thing,

843
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 2: but I when I was in the throes of my

844
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 2: eating disorder, I felt like I had a lot of

845
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 2: intrusive thoughts, like about everything. Yeah, like what kind of

846
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 2: workouts I was doing if I walked enough, like what

847
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 2: was on the menu? Like you can't eat that?

848
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: Oh you're as a why'd you eat that? You idiot?

849
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess that's negative self talk. But they

850
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:10,240
Speaker 2: felt very intrusive in that, like it was ruling my life.

851
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, part of that is true. So pop psychology intrusive thoughts,

852
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: random thoughts or impulses that you might actually want to

853
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: act on. So sometimes like people will say, this is

854
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 1: what I think a lot of people are saying, like

855
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: in their tiktoks and stuff, I had this intrusive thought,

856
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 1: and like it's something you might want to do, Like

857
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: I had this intrusive thought, so I went and spent

858
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 1: five hundred dollars on makeup, like it was an intrusive

859
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 1: thought that I had to give into, or like I

860
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: wanted to eat cake and so then I wouldn't got

861
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: a piece of cake versus what intrusive thoughts actually are

862
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: unwanted or involuntary thoughts that go against your real values

863
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: and desires. You don't want to act on them, and

864
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 1: them coming true would be your worst nightmare. They can

865
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: be very prominent in distressing and disorders like PTSD or OCD.

866
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: OCD is a big one, Like they have all these

867
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,760
Speaker 1: intrusive thoughts that they just like it makes them cringe

868
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: when they think about it, or it's like some it

869
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 1: can sometimes be like harm harm, some kind of harming

870
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 1: to themselves and it's like, no, I don't want to

871
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: actually do this, but I'm thinking about it, and then

872
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: there's comes shame with it and it's very problematic. It's

873
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: not just like oh, I had this thought of like

874
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: going to buy the skirt, so I had to go

875
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: buy it. You know that sounds like an impulsive thought. Well,

876
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 1: the impulse would be doing it right, but it's in truth, Okay,

877
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: it's coming in and.

878
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 2: So they have the thought and then they go buy

879
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 2: the skirts.

880
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: That's just oh yeah, what you're saying, that's an impulsive thought.

881
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 2: Ye yeah, because I'm like, that's not as bad as

882
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 2: like I have a thought of like I can't believe it,

883
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 2: just ate that now I need to throw it up.

884
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but like part of you, like I don't

885
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: really want to be purging, not like I have this

886
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: intrusive thought that I can't get rid of. And sometimes

887
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 1: with OCD is like it feels like you can't get

888
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 1: rid of the thought until you yeah, then have the impulse.

889
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 1: But a lot of those impulses you don't actually want

890
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 1: to happen. So it can be very confusing because you're like,

891
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: what does this mean? Does this mean that I want this?

892
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 1: Does it mean you can ask yourself? This mean I'm bad?

893
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: Does this mean there's something wrong with me? And it's

894
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 1: not true? Like you can't help those things. That's the

895
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: like higher level and I think sometimes when we're talking about,

896
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: like I had this thought that I wanted to dye

897
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: my hair, so I would and dye my hair. That's

898
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: a little different, so.

899
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 2: You wouldn't put that as a real like an intrusive eye.

900
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 1: Like and I think, well, that's what I'm saying. With

901
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: how words are changing, meaning is it? It kind of

902
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: waters down so we have to clarify that this is

903
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: this and this is this. Now those thoughts can also

904
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: be distressing depending on who you are, So I don't

905
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: want to use any of this as a blanket statement

906
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: of you might not want to dye your hair and

907
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 1: you do it and you feel like you didn't want

908
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 1: to do that, or like it's something that maybe you

909
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: loved your blonde hair, and.

910
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 2: Like I want to get banks. Yeah, so is that

911
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 2: I woke up with that? That's kind of vermple though thought.

912
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 2: And when I say woke up, I barely slept. So

913
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 2: when I woke up from my little nap last night,

914
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: I woke up, should I get Banks? Because I have

915
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 2: a hair appointment tomorrow, no Wednesday, and I want to

916
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: get banks.

917
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 1: Now what I would wonder with some of those things

918
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: a lot of times because I have that stuff where

919
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, I mean, I almost got to adopted a

920
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 1: dog yesterday. That's an impulse and that comes from more

921
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 1: so my anxiety and ADHD and me just being kind

922
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: of an impulsive person and or me needing some kind

923
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: of I mean, we all know how I'm feeling right now.

924
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: I need some kind of like high to hold on to.

925
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 1: I had to bet, Catherine, if you're going to get

926
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 1: a dog, you got to sit on it for at

927
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 1: least a week versus if you were going to make

928
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: the change like bangs. Is that really just an intrusive

929
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: thought or is that this like desire for like some

930
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 1: feel good and change? Yeah, yeah, got it. So again,

931
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 1: like we were saying, there's nuance in everything, So this

932
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 1: conversation is bigger, but generally I wanted to highlight like

933
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: there's a difference in how we use some of these

934
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: words and what they really mean. And that doesn't mean

935
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: that like this stuff over here doesn't matter, but sometimes

936
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 1: it can be confusing for people thinking about like when

937
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: people this is something that again grinds my gears is

938
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: when the way we talk about bipolar when they're like,

939
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 1: oh that she was so bipolar or she was being

940
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 1: so bipolar that's not what people think bipolar disorder is,

941
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: isn't that You're you're thinking A lot of times we

942
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 1: say that when somebody's hot and cold, and that's not

943
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: a lot of times what somebody with bipolar disorder even

944
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 1: looks like. And also that's something that they can't help,

945
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: and it's an actual mental health disorder.

946
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 2: That Yeah, I think that I've been guilty years back

947
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: in the past of being like, oh so bipolar right now,

948
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: like using that word flippantly, but.

949
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 1: I think, no, shame to you. That was normal.

950
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 2: No normal, I think so. But I think we also

951
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: then have a responsibility once we learn. I personally, in

952
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: the last several years, I feel insensitive saying that now.

953
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 2: So I wouldn't say that because and maybe that's because

954
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 2: I had an experience with someone for the first time

955
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 2: that was and I hadn't before, and then I had

956
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 2: a new found respect for what they were going through.

957
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 2: And I don't want to minimize what real people with

958
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 2: bipolar are. And it's like kind of mean are dealing

959
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: with yeah, because it's like okay, yeah, no, that's actually

960
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 2: not bipolar. Let me, I'll show you what is. And

961
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 2: you don't want it. I mean it's it's hard and yeah.

962
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: And it's like you're saying that as an insult. So

963
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: it's like if if somebody and people do that too,

964
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,879
Speaker 1: like oh they're so ADHD, it's like, okay, it's kind

965
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: of mean I have that and like that. I don't

966
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 1: want you to talk about my behavior that I can't

967
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 1: help like that or things are hard for me. And

968
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: it's also bigger than that that there's.

969
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: A straight on social media like everybody has ADHD.

970
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: There's there's phase, like we're going through the phases of

971
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 1: every disorder. At some point, I feel like like it's

972
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: everybody has ADHD, everybody has autism, everybody has OCD, everybody.

973
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 1: I see that in my office as like a constant,

974
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 1: revolving But I.

975
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 2: Don't think I have any of those other things.

976
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: But I think this is part of that too, is

977
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 1: we all can relate to symptoms of all of those things,

978
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,399
Speaker 1: like we can all I mean even we can bring

979
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: in personality disorders, worderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. We

980
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 1: all have traits of those. I have traits of both

981
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: of those. That doesn't mean that I have those disorders.

982
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 1: And so that's also part of the issue with people.

983
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: How do I say this, Maybe just seeing on social

984
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 2: media if someone's like, oh, if you can't find your keys,

985
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 2: you misplace things all the time, you have time blindness,

986
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 2: you can't ever be on time. Then it's like people like, oh,

987
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,280
Speaker 2: my gosh, I have ADHD, but they've never actually gone

988
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 2: and been tested, yeah, to figure out if they really

989
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 2: have it. Because I've been tested once in college and

990
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 2: then later probably in the last five years from someone

991
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 2: you connected me with, because I kind of thought, well,

992
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 2: maybe I've outgrown it.

993
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: It's some wishful thinking, and I was like, I.

994
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 2: Haven't still the same, But I think if some of

995
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 2: those things sounding familiar with you, then yeah, and you

996
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 2: have the resources try to do the steps to go

997
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:05,240
Speaker 2: get tested, so then.

998
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: Well, it can feel when you see those videos, it

999
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 1: can feel like like a relief to have an answer

1000
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 1: to some things that you might not like about yourself

1001
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: or some things that you've been struggling with. So I

1002
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: think that's one of the reasons we grab onto that,

1003
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 1: like I must have this. But also it causes panic

1004
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: and other people of like I've had clients coming to

1005
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: my office and be like, why haven't you told me

1006
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: that I have this, and I'm like, because you don't.

1007
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: And also sometimes in diagnos scenes specifically like more so

1008
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: personality disorders, there is a nuance in giving that diagnosis

1009
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: also in like really figuring it out, because it's over diagnosed,

1010
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 1: and I mean under it's misdiagnosed all the time. So

1011
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 1: I can't just know somebody for a couple sessions and

1012
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 1: be like, this is what you have for sure, So.

1013
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 2: And you're knowing the version that's showing up in your office.

1014
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,879
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah so and over time, yeah, over time,

1015
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 1: hopefully you start to see like the cracks and the

1016
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: presentation versus the reality. And as a client, I show

1017
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: up try to show my best self as well in

1018
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: the therapy room. So I think that that's that has

1019
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 1: created some difficulty in being a therapist because of the stuff.

1020
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: And again I am saying that as I am hosting

1021
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: a podcast talking about mental health, so I know that

1022
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 1: I have to monitor that too, and I want to

1023
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: be open to that feedback to if I'm presenting things

1024
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: in a way that feels too overarching or too I

1025
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 1: wanted to say simpleized, that's not a word plistic, sure,

1026
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,240
Speaker 1: but anyway, my whole point in doing this and reading

1027
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 1: this is just giving us again a way to critically

1028
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: think more and opening our eyes to the bigger picture

1029
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: of what some of these things mean. And it's not

1030
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 1: to shame anybody, because if I didn't work in this field,

1031
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: I would be on the pop culture part of all

1032
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: of this. Like how why else?

1033
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't I welcome, welcome to our side? I guess yeah,

1034
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 2: being so close to you, it's helped me and I

1035
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 2: appreciate it, and I think others listening will appreciate this too.

1036
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 2: It just gives you a different perspective when you're doom scrolling,

1037
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 2: which pro tip set a timer. Doom scrolling in itself

1038
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: not totally bad, but if you're doing it for a

1039
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 2: long period of time, stop it'll change your life. Just kidding.

1040
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: Set this timer. It'll change your life in five minutes.

1041
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 2: That's all you need. Let's close with a win, big

1042
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 2: or small. So my son is in summer school and

1043
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 2: something that the principal said they're doing is encouraging the kids,

1044
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: Like they have a big poster board and they're writing

1045
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 2: down their wins of the day or wins of the week.

1046
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 2: Big or small, doesn't matter, but each kid has to participate,

1047
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 2: and he was just sending out an email to the

1048
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 2: parents talking about how it's really cool to see them

1049
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: be able to look at their day and look at

1050
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 2: their life and come up with something like a win,

1051
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: big or small. So for both of us, today's been

1052
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 2: you more so than me, Like I'm just tired of

1053
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: other things going on and you're feeling melancholy and like

1054
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 2: an unpaid cloud.

1055
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 1: But I showed up.

1056
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 2: But you're here and you showed up, and I guess

1057
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 2: let's just find a win. Like what's a win for you?

1058
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 1: Oh, you shut up? Yeah, that's why I was. Oh,

1059
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:18,279
Speaker 1: that was your wind.

1060
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're doing it.

1061
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: I feel like that's big. No, you showed up.

1062
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 2: That's your win.

1063
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: And I'll do too, because it was a win for

1064
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,760
Speaker 1: me to do that exercise, because I don't usually do journaling,

1065
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 1: so for me to actually stop and be like, Okay,

1066
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: I can stop and do this and I'll get back

1067
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: to my work in a second.

1068
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 2: I needed to go home and read your poem to Patrick,

1069
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 2: your husband.

1070
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: He's already been so sweet today, so I wonder if

1071
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: he'll be like, oh my gosh, like, let's frame it's

1072
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: you can quit your job, stay home, right, I'm just kidding.

1073
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to quit my job.

1074
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 2: You need to keep that, I know. But we all

1075
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 2: have those moments where it's like I'm done. Yeah, I'm

1076
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 2: moving to Mexico.

1077
00:51:59,320 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 1: Is that where you would me?

1078
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 2: No, I don't know why I said that. I think

1079
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 2: it's my cousin is moving there. Oh yeah, I don't

1080
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: know if she said that publicly yet, so I won't

1081
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 2: say which cousin.

1082
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have so many cousins. Who can so many

1083
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: cousins I do?

1084
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 2: I have lots of cousins on my dad's side, my

1085
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 2: mom's side.

1086
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: What's your win?

1087
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 2: My wind is by Mexico, though I did mean like

1088
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 2: more of like the Pacific side. Maybe I could see

1089
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 2: myself going there, not like no way of a Larido. Oh,

1090
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 2: I never haven't heard of that city. Oh it's the border. Okay,

1091
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,879
Speaker 2: let me let me think of a win. I've been

1092
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 2: good about drinking my water today. I have my measuring cup,

1093
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 2: and that is what I'm gonna do because I've been

1094
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 2: getting headaches and I know it's because I'm dehydrated. So cheers.

1095
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: I have all my water bottles and you have your

1096
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 1: measuring cup.

1097
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,800
Speaker 2: This is my favorite thing to drink out of I

1098
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 2: will drink all my water if I have my measuring cup,

1099
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 2: and I know it's made of plastic, and I don't

1100
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 2: know if it's giving me microplastics in my brain, but

1101
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 2: it's fine.

1102
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: Do you really want me to cheers to you? Yeah?

1103
00:52:57,680 --> 00:52:59,880
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just close with the cheers because we both did.

1104
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 2: This is our wins. We're winning cheers winning. Who used

1105
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 2: to say that, Charlie Sheen? Oh you don't remember, right

1106
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 2: when hashtagging you were coming in, they didn't drink. Oh

1107
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 2: do you have to drink after cheers?

1108
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: And you have to make eye contact?

1109
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Alex, my boyfriend, he told me that

1110
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,319
Speaker 2: exact same thing. He said, I cheers and look away.

1111
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: Do you want to know where cheers came from? Did

1112
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 1: I tell you this already?

1113
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 2: You don't know.

1114
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 1: I learned this when I went to Italy, So cheers

1115
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 1: came from back in the day, the Romans, the whoever?

1116
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, I've told us.

1117
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: They would all cheers their glasses to make sure and

1118
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: they would clink them so a little bit would go

1119
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 1: into other people's and it would make sure that nobody

1120
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 1: poisoned each other. So I was like I'm not going

1121
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:40,919
Speaker 1: to poison you because you're going to clink my glass

1122
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: and then I would be poisoning myself.

1123
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 2: Bam. You know that is a fun fact. Thank you

1124
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 2: for letting us know. People can use that this weekend.

1125
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 1: Wait, I think that was from the Romans or was

1126
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 1: that from the Boston? Do I learn that in Boston?

1127
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 2: I feel like you would come back from overseas. When

1128
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 2: you told us that, it was like on the fifth thing.

1129
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,280
Speaker 1: No, huzza is from Boston. They would cheers and go, huzza.

1130
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 2: There you go. It's okay.

1131
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 1: We're not We're not here to get You're not facts.

1132
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 2: We're not a history podcast. Yeah, we're a therapy podcast

1133
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 2: because Cat's a therapist and we hope you have the

1134
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 2: day you need to have.

1135
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: Bye. Bye,