Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what You've got decisions, You've Got Decisions.
Speaker 2: Welcome you on to another episode of You've Got Decisions
Speaker 2: on this motherfucker Hunt Day. I'm joined by a very
Speaker 2: special guest to help give you bitches some advice.
Speaker 3: Y'all.
Speaker 2: Have one third of the friends on with me and
Speaker 2: one of my very good best friends.
Speaker 4: A Sante.
Speaker 2: This motherfucker okay, period period period, to help me out.
Speaker 2: If you guys want to send in your questions, make
Speaker 2: sure you send them holes into Decisions pod at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com.
Speaker 4: Before we get started with this.
Speaker 2: Week, as always, I'm going to read a lovely review
Speaker 2: about our book, our New York Times bestselling book, No
Speaker 2: Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power.
Speaker 2: This this one comes from Lenny, who writed us five
Speaker 2: stars over on Amazon. Pre ordered as a loyal twenty
Speaker 2: seventeen or Hive member. I've been following Mandy and Weezi
Speaker 2: four years now. Reading their book just solidified how far
Speaker 2: these two ladies have come along in their journeys the
Speaker 2: stories inside this book make them feel even more personable
Speaker 2: than how they already work. If you haven't joined the Patreon,
Speaker 2: I also highly recommend Bitch Me Too. They share a
Speaker 2: lot of themselves with their fans there as well. Love
Speaker 2: you guys, and continue educating the people through.
Speaker 4: Real and raw experiences.
Speaker 2: Yes, now, clearly I kidnap Assante for a little bit.
Speaker 4: So if y'all want to hear.
Speaker 2: Me talk about my recent experience with the new nigga
Speaker 2: in my life, go on over to patreon dot com
Speaker 2: backslash Horrible Decisions because we're still horrible for this very
Speaker 2: special edition. If you got decisions, I'm gonna blend Mandy on.
Speaker 4: The holland Mandy on the high Line. I'm talking yeah.
Speaker 1: And y'all know Ida meant one fourth of pretty Ricky
Speaker 1: Son now.
Speaker 4: I wish I could say for real.
Speaker 2: Sorry, okay, And speaking of Bandy on the hotline, I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna play a voicemail from someone who loves Bandy
Speaker 2: on the hotline. By the way, if you want to
Speaker 2: leave a voicemail, you can call ninety seven three nine
Speaker 2: three two zero two two seven and leave a voicemail
Speaker 2: like this one.
Speaker 5: Hey, uh, Mandie on the hotline one of your listeners.
Speaker 5: I'm actually driving on my way to work right now.
Speaker 5: I didn't really have a question head on that I
Speaker 5: could think of, but I'm a huge fan of the show.
Speaker 3: I just pre ordered the audio play, and I hope
Speaker 3: you guys keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 5: I enjoy selective ignorance, and I enjoy everything both of
Speaker 5: you guys put out as a collective. But yeah, maybe
Speaker 5: i'll call back with some advice if I can speak
Speaker 5: on it a little later down the line. But I
Speaker 5: appreciate trying to keep doing what y'all doing.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Now, what is that kind of slow slow gym ship?
Speaker 4: Is that? That was a little dirt that was vanish mom? No,
Speaker 4: because I was on Instagram and it was a song
Speaker 4: that was on my status for whatever reason because I
Speaker 4: had listened to them. A little dirt, what's wrong? A
Speaker 4: little dirt? Nothing we'll do. We won't do a little dirt.
Speaker 4: You know, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I didn't peg you as at you as a as
Speaker 1: a little Dirk fan.
Speaker 4: Look that list, the list of people you peg. I know,
Speaker 4: it's immaculous. That's crazy. Unfortunately, unfortunately I am not listen listen, No,
Speaker 4: it was Dirk. Apparently he's fine or something. Was it
Speaker 4: a little Dirk or apparently it's fine.
Speaker 2: Is it a little Dirk in jail?
Speaker 4: It's it's a clone.
Speaker 1: It's got to be a clone.
Speaker 2: It's because I used to see that his little his
Speaker 2: little leather shorts and.
Speaker 4: He couldn't dress for ship. It needs to be a
Speaker 4: conversation about that for real, because they find out like
Speaker 4: Gucci came back looking real good, Gunna been like fitness and.
Speaker 2: Said it, let's send everybody to jail. Then when they
Speaker 2: come out, baby, that's okay.
Speaker 4: That's no, no, no, let's let's not crap. Let's not
Speaker 4: we're voted for now.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: Clean out.
Speaker 1: Wrong, But there is like whatever workouts they do in jail.
Speaker 4: You know, don't get me wrong. This is gonna sound terrible,
Speaker 4: but I always said to myself, I just sounded terrible. Okay, Well,
Speaker 4: I always say if I got locked up, then I
Speaker 4: wouldn't have nothing to do but to work out, like
Speaker 4: you know what you well, that's I want to say
Speaker 4: that he do that say he was in jail, he
Speaker 4: said he had the best time of his Like, whoa,
Speaker 4: there's this gay man he was he's about say, I
Speaker 4: don't know his fucking name. You go here, tell you're.
Speaker 1: The only fans nigga who's now like you?
Speaker 4: You he is the only fan See okay, here's the
Speaker 4: only bed now.
Speaker 2: He makes all this jail content bending over strike niggas
Speaker 2: in himself.
Speaker 4: There's something wrong with him because there's been like things
Speaker 4: happening to him on Twitter. He's like, he looks like
Speaker 4: he's mentally like something might be going on with him
Speaker 4: in jail.
Speaker 1: That's a tough environment.
Speaker 4: It's so imagine being and he's trying to be a
Speaker 4: content creator behind bars too. So like what, I.
Speaker 1: Don't subscribe, but I watched the free stuff on Twitter.
Speaker 4: It's kind of good. I've seen some things. Yes, all right, anyway,
Speaker 4: get back to it.
Speaker 2: We have a question from Shape from Houston, and Asante
Speaker 2: helped me with this question.
Speaker 3: Hey, this is straight from Houston, Texas. I just call
Speaker 3: him love for Boysnail. But I'm gonna leave another one
Speaker 3: to make it a little shorter. I have a homegirl
Speaker 3: that me and her had a threesome with somebody in
Speaker 3: my apartments for my birthday as a birthday gift. Since
Speaker 3: that time, like us, three have consistently hung out with
Speaker 3: each other, spent days with each other, you know, at
Speaker 3: each other's apartments, her apartment, in my apartment, his apartment.
Speaker 3: We've been on separate dates and things like that. We've
Speaker 3: been on a couple of days. Like everything seems to
Speaker 3: be real cool and it's very uh, situationship ish, But
Speaker 3: I kind of want to bring up the topic of
Speaker 3: us actually being in a poly relationship or being in
Speaker 3: some type of thrupple. And I'm not really sure how
Speaker 3: to approach a conversation, particularly with Ken. His name is Ken,
Speaker 3: her name is Drea, And I was just looking for
Speaker 3: advice on what you guys think God should do as
Speaker 3: far as like approaching that conversation. And my reason that
Speaker 3: is Keen is because you know, he comes off as
Speaker 3: like a man's man, and I just don't want to
Speaker 3: turn him off from from him, Like I don't want
Speaker 3: to like, oh, you know, now, I gotta be something
Speaker 3: extra than what it is. I really don't want anything
Speaker 3: to change. I just want to get those times understood. Anyway,
Speaker 3: any advice you guys could get it would be great.
Speaker 1: Thanks. First off, shout out to you and your home girl.
Speaker 6: Okay, you other three songs for your birthday.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, but you did that. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2: That's amazing, And clearly y'all have brought some nigga in
Speaker 2: that both for y'all were pleased by it because y'all
Speaker 2: both hanging out with him together separately, y'all are all
Speaker 2: doing this?
Speaker 4: How do you you know? Well, first of all, congratulations,
Speaker 4: some of us can't stumble into one good situationship, let
Speaker 4: alone a double like a like a full of poly
Speaker 4: situationship is crazy. So I feel like everything's already there.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. You're just trying to clarify
Speaker 4: or get the terms understood. You said you don't want
Speaker 4: things to change, they would if you're going through this conversation. Look,
Speaker 4: if you have the conversation, things are changing, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 4: If y'all just gonna keep doing what y'all doing, then
Speaker 4: you know, y'all gonna keep doing what y'all doing. But
Speaker 4: there is something to be said about wanting more and
Speaker 4: maybe trying to potentially see where that can go. So
Speaker 4: I feel like if you want to have the conversation
Speaker 4: down with both of them and just be real, like,
Speaker 4: remind everybody of all the good things that are happening
Speaker 4: and see if they want more of it now.
Speaker 2: If y'all listen on Patreon, I thought that I could
Speaker 2: continue being friends with activate after we broke up, And
Speaker 2: so for me, my initial mind goes to how closer
Speaker 2: friends are you and this homegirl? Because once you introduce
Speaker 2: a romantic relationship into this, and when I say romantic,
Speaker 2: I'm talking about clearly the being together. Yeah, because y'all
Speaker 2: know I fucked my friends and it doesn't change the
Speaker 2: dynamic of it, right, But getting into a romantic relationship
Speaker 2: with someone where now you have to show up as
Speaker 2: a partner, we'll change the dynamic of the relationship that
Speaker 2: you have with her. And so for me, I think
Speaker 2: I would sit with first, would I be willing to
Speaker 2: lose this friendship because now I want more? And a
Speaker 2: lot of times where you think you can maintain friendships
Speaker 2: with someone have to romantic relationships, apparently you can't try.
Speaker 4: But she seemed more concerned with the guy.
Speaker 1: So the reason here's my thing about the guy.
Speaker 2: She she brings him up as like a malely man,
Speaker 2: and so for me, I think her concern is maybe
Speaker 2: he's a whole ass nigga, And so how she even
Speaker 2: described it, where she's like, I just don't know if
Speaker 2: he's going to be into doing all that.
Speaker 4: For me, I felt like he's not.
Speaker 1: The one that maybe wants to be tied down.
Speaker 4: I kind of took it. I took it to maybe
Speaker 4: she didn't know she freaked him out with like like
Speaker 4: maybe he thinks, well a title, but like you know,
Speaker 4: maybe he's he's like fucking with the one girl her,
Speaker 4: but like it might be weird for him to be
Speaker 4: like you want to be poly now, girl, Like that's
Speaker 4: like that's your friend, and like, yeah, we had threesomes
Speaker 4: and again, I don't know my feeling right here is happenings.
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean that's the thing too. We don't
Speaker 2: know how old she is. To me, I actually kind
Speaker 2: of agree with what you're saying. We have been talking
Speaker 2: on this podcast about non monogamy and all these lifestyle.
Speaker 4: Ways of dating because some niggas ain't in all that.
Speaker 1: And ain' not they'd rather just cheat on you.
Speaker 4: Right, So you brought that up to it, like that's
Speaker 4: a good point, like her, but you aren't trying to
Speaker 4: be in other threesome. I'm gonna just keep doing this
Speaker 4: shit over here. Because it's freaky, but like, I'm not
Speaker 4: trying to be in a three right relationship, so it
Speaker 4: could go either way. I him not want to be
Speaker 4: in it, But what I would say is have a
Speaker 4: conversation with him, because I feel like you want to
Speaker 4: talk to him about it first. If you feel secure
Speaker 4: in your friendship with your homegirl that y'all could like
Speaker 4: forego that for a poly relationship, then cool, kudos to you.
Speaker 4: But if you're trying to figure out how you're going
Speaker 4: to approach the topic of being in a poly relationship
Speaker 4: with him, really see where he's at with the relationship
Speaker 4: with you first, and how he would feel about integrating
Speaker 4: another person into that, or what his true feelings are
Speaker 4: about your friendship and what that would mean as far
Speaker 4: as y'all being more than friends now and like how
Speaker 4: like and even for you and your friend, y'all would
Speaker 4: need to have a conversation about that. Like, so I
Speaker 4: agree with that.
Speaker 2: I think you had to have separate conversations with individually
Speaker 2: before bringing.
Speaker 4: It, Separate conversations about where you're at with them, where
Speaker 4: they're at with themselves, and how they feel about everything
Speaker 4: that's been going on together.
Speaker 2: Because also this just rooted from a goddamn threesome. Yeah,
Speaker 2: are they dating other people?
Speaker 4: Right? What are what are.
Speaker 2: Their interactions sexually and romantic feat outside of this little.
Speaker 4: Tree right because it might be like we're having the threesome.
Speaker 4: That's fun. But then like, oh now it's Wednesday and
Speaker 4: I'm on a day with a nigga and I'm a
Speaker 4: fuck him tonight instead. But I'm gonna see these bitches
Speaker 4: on Friday Saturday. So I did three someme I'm looking
Speaker 4: forward to. But yeah, if they're spending time together and
Speaker 4: maybe accidentally grocery shopping all three of them now, and
Speaker 4: it's like possible split three ways.
Speaker 1: Because it looked like they got three apartments.
Speaker 4: Bitch.
Speaker 2: If y'all all just want to save some money, honey,
Speaker 2: in this economy and.
Speaker 4: Starting dollars, I might need a bill split two. I
Speaker 4: haven't missed peace.
Speaker 1: I agree with with with where you're at.
Speaker 2: I think you should talk to them individually, see where
Speaker 2: they're at, especially outside of each other or outside of you,
Speaker 2: and then consider with your friend if you you'd be
Speaker 2: willing to you know, potentially ruin that friendship because you
Speaker 2: want something more.
Speaker 4: Because they actually have already crossed the line they having these,
Speaker 4: they're in like a poly situationship. So now she's been
Speaker 4: trying to figure out what like.
Speaker 2: So that's the other dynamic. First off, you're not in
Speaker 2: a poly relationship if.
Speaker 4: You just hang out and polly situationship. I think that
Speaker 4: that's the thing too.
Speaker 2: I think when we start attaching Polly to things, Polly
Speaker 2: is an umbrella term, and there's so many ways a
Speaker 2: lot of formation to have that dynamic. And so you
Speaker 2: guys have to talk about if it's going to be closed,
Speaker 2: if it's gonna be like even.
Speaker 4: Before you bring in a relationship, but I get to
Speaker 4: date other people, or like are we dating?
Speaker 1: Do we get all other people and date other people?
Speaker 2: So for me too, I would want you to do
Speaker 2: a deep dive on all of the different ways Polly
Speaker 2: can be exper And then if you're coming with them
Speaker 2: with this idea, you need to know your boundaries and
Speaker 2: what really you're comfortable with, you.
Speaker 4: Know what I mean? Yep, So to me, it looks
Speaker 4: like it looks like that, Yeah, looks like that. Yeah.
Speaker 4: For me, I would.
Speaker 2: Want you to sit with realistically your own feelings, your
Speaker 2: own boundaries, and before you be like, let's be in
Speaker 2: a poly relationship. You need to go down all the
Speaker 2: different poly relationships and figure out what would even truly work.
Speaker 4: Right and honestly reflect some deep reflection. Are you ready
Speaker 4: for a relationship with two people? Like if you're thinking
Speaker 4: about like could this be more? But you say you
Speaker 4: want to keep things where they're at. If you want
Speaker 4: to keep things where they're at, then you might not
Speaker 4: want to say anything curious, but if you want more
Speaker 4: from it. So I really had that conversation with yourself
Speaker 4: before you step into how you can to have it
Speaker 4: with both of them, you know, either separated together, because
Speaker 4: you could just you know, keep them together and just
Speaker 4: be like, so, what do we all doing? How we
Speaker 4: all feeling? Because some people like to do it like that,
Speaker 4: but I'm the type I want to see what we
Speaker 4: do separately, you know, figure out where you're at, to
Speaker 4: see if I can align the hearts and heads together.
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing too, when you talk about
Speaker 2: wanting to be in a relationship as an adult, especially Polly,
Speaker 2: when especially including two or more people, what are the
Speaker 2: things that they have going on?
Speaker 4: Are they coparents? Like somebody like somebody has to know
Speaker 4: how the formula is being put together. Sometimes there's the
Speaker 4: two that come in for the one, but sometimes there's
Speaker 4: the one bringing the two or three or whatever together.
Speaker 4: But you have to somebody that has to have the
Speaker 4: knowledge of how.
Speaker 2: These That's the thing I just brought up, doing any
Speaker 2: of them co parent because maybe now both y'all gotta
Speaker 2: deal with both.
Speaker 4: Y'all got to deal with the parent. What if thebody
Speaker 4: wants kids and somebody don't.
Speaker 2: Now were going down the rabbit, But yes, of all
Speaker 2: of those things you actually have to consider before getting
Speaker 2: into a relationship. And so if the sex is fun
Speaker 2: and y'all just like hanging out, the pressure of a
Speaker 2: relationship doesn't.
Speaker 4: Have to be there.
Speaker 1: Yes, but yeah, as it.
Speaker 2: Gets a little difficult when you start adding in all
Speaker 2: of these different scenarios and ways in which you have
Speaker 2: to show up. And for me, I love that we're
Speaker 2: thinking of these non traditional ways of having relationships, but
Speaker 2: also the dick, the pussy, the threesome could have just
Speaker 2: been that far that now you also think you want
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with these people, but really,
Speaker 2: when you unphil the layers, these might not be people
Speaker 2: that make a good partner. And I think that that's
Speaker 2: the last part I want to end on is that
Speaker 2: a lot of times we have sex with people and
Speaker 2: when that oxytocin and hormones and all the science happens,
Speaker 2: we get delusion and we start seeing these people is
Speaker 2: something more than just the great time that we had.
Speaker 4: In the bedroom? Can I admit I am a very
Speaker 4: delusional person. But here's the thing. I love my delusions
Speaker 4: because I know how to separate them.
Speaker 1: How do you separate your delusion if you delusion?
Speaker 4: Well, because I know that the world sucks curiod. So
Speaker 4: like I know that when I'm having a delusion, it's
Speaker 4: like like this is amazing, not because this is actually amazing, Okay,
Speaker 4: makeing me it amazing. So when I'm thinking about like,
Speaker 4: oh this is so much fun, I might want to
Speaker 4: be with this nigga, I'm thinking to myself, I want
Speaker 4: to be with this nigga in this moment, but this
Speaker 4: nigga is broke or they're not doing anything what they
Speaker 4: like or we I mean, I can have fun with
Speaker 4: the broke nigga. Oh, first off, let's be very clear.
Speaker 4: If y'all go, if y'all go back to.
Speaker 2: Horrible decisions, maybe this was what was it probably pre pandemic,
Speaker 2: So maybe like twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. I was fucking
Speaker 2: this nigga and he was fucking me so good, and
Speaker 2: we were like smoke blunts listening to Young Thug.
Speaker 4: All the shit.
Speaker 1: He don't want put me on the yr Thug Anyway,
Speaker 1: it was so good.
Speaker 2: I considered what things could look like with us hold
Speaker 2: on you ready?
Speaker 1: And he had nine kids.
Speaker 2: Not only did he have nine kids, I fucked him
Speaker 2: and one of his baby mamas.
Speaker 6: This is how But I considered so that it was
Speaker 6: really really, it's so bruh.
Speaker 1: And I literally was like, oh, I could be with
Speaker 1: with nine kids? What was I But so I use
Speaker 1: that as the example of what it's good.
Speaker 2: You really start thinking of all these things it could be,
Speaker 2: and it's like, bitch wake up.
Speaker 1: Ye And so this might be a bitch wake up moment.
Speaker 4: Yep, yeah it was. It was fun. Yep, it could yeah,
Speaker 4: bitch wake up? Yes, all right, you hit another point,
Speaker 4: but a very important one. It could definitely be a
Speaker 4: bitch wake up moment, just a bitch wake up.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Speaker 4: Glad that could you take that? It was so much
Speaker 4: fun that we are not supposed to be doing that
Speaker 4: on a regular basis, or that's so much fun. You
Speaker 4: don't need to marry that.
Speaker 1: This should be for like holidays and birthdays.
Speaker 4: And I was like, this is so much fun. We
Speaker 4: only need it on Labor Day after all. The bitches
Speaker 4: don't put the white away like this is when we're
Speaker 4: gonna have this. We don't need to marry this, We don't.
Speaker 4: We don't need to take this home. That's not what's
Speaker 4: happening at period. We don't need to take two people
Speaker 4: home to mom.
Speaker 2: So our advice to you shape from Houston is bitch,
Speaker 2: wake up, douse you bite me fleep.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of advice in there, but bitch wake
Speaker 4: up is the greatest lace man.
Speaker 2: Yes, if you want more advice from us on you
Speaker 2: Got Decisions Again, email us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4: Or if you want to leave a voicemail and be
Speaker 4: a part.
Speaker 2: Of Mandy on the hotline over on the Patreon, it's
Speaker 2: ninety seven three nine three two zero.
Speaker 1: Two two sell beach and that's all. See you guys
Speaker 1: next week. Bye.