1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: It is time now for my Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know, 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 1: it could be yours. 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. 9 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 2: We guide it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject you fire off, I'm firing back. 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I married a man with four children, 12 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,160 Speaker 1: all under age fifteen, and they live with us two 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: weeks a month. I have a five year old and 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: I have sole custody because my ex husband works in England. 15 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: I'm biracial, and I grew up with my white mom, 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: who spoke softly and allowed me to express my feelings 17 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,639 Speaker 1: and do what I wanted within reason. As I grew up, 18 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: I saw that I needed discipline, so I decided that 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: I would not be as lenient when I have children 20 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: of my own. So here, I am newly married to 21 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,199 Speaker 1: a white man and his children are testing me every day. 22 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,320 Speaker 1: I called my black dad and black grandma for advice 23 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: on dealing with my stepchildren's lack of respect. My grandmother 24 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: told me to talk to my husband about the kid's behavior, 25 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 1: but that didn't work. My husband told me that if 26 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,919 Speaker 1: I offend them, they won't want to spend any spend 27 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: time at our home. When an eight year old tells 28 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 1: me to shut up and a twelve year old slams 29 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: a bedroom door in my face, I'm not willing to 30 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: let it slide. I am usually home alone with them. 31 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: When it happened over the weekend, I saw his fourteen 32 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: year old daughter kissing a sixteen year old boy in 33 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: the driveway. I know his age because I dropped her 34 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,279 Speaker 1: off at his sixteenth birthday party months ago. I told 35 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: her that I saw her, and I asked if we 36 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: could talk about setting a better example for her younger siblings, 37 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: who also saw her making out. She told me that 38 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: I need to mind my effing business. I warned my 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: husband that if she or any of his kids fires 40 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: off at me again, then I'm firing off. He told 41 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: me that's not my place and he'll handle his own kids. 42 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: Oh no, sir, that is not how it will go 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: in this house. I am firing off and I'll deal 44 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: with my husband later. Why should his children be off 45 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: limits to me? Well, they really shouldn't be. I mean, 46 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: this is just some stupid rule your husband has because 47 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: he doesn't want their mom to stop them from coming 48 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: over there. The ex is holding the kids over his head. 49 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: And your husband nor his ex have told the kids 50 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: that they should respect you when they're in your home, 51 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: and that's what the kids are going with. You're not 52 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: their mom, so they don't have to do what you say. 53 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: Their bitter mama has already prepped them before they get 54 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: to your house. But you can't control what goes on 55 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: with them and their mom in their house anyway, so 56 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: don't even worry about that. The problem is the dad 57 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: or your husband. He may as well be a kid too, 58 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: because he's disrespecting you just as much as they are. 59 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: He told you is not your place to handle his kids. 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: He'll handle his own kids. But here's the problem. He's 61 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: not handling them. And why would he want to get 62 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,839 Speaker 1: you all upset and let the kids come between you? Guys? Well, 63 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,679 Speaker 1: I say someone has to be the adult here. They 64 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: have to. I mean, who are these kids that they 65 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: think they can just do and say whatever they want 66 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: and know they should be disciplined at your house too. 67 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: So I'm with you. Fire back off at them when 68 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: they start acting up, and let your husband have it too. 69 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: If that's the case, Steve, Oh, you're fine. 70 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 2: I don't even I don't even know what the letter 71 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 2: is for. Well, here we go. You're fire off on 72 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 2: fine back. I'm married to a man with four children, 73 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: all of them under the age of fifteen. They live 74 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 2: with us two weeks a month. I got a five 75 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 2: year old. I got sold cussed there because my ex 76 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 2: husband works in England. I'm biracial. He would go to see. 77 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 2: We swear we running into this. It's a lot of this, 78 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 2: A lot of this got to do with race. I 79 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 2: didn't bring up race. She did. She said I'm biracial. 80 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 2: She didn't even have to say that. But she noticed 81 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 2: got something to do with this. She didn't never even 82 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 2: have to mention she was biracial in this letter. But 83 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 2: since you started with I'm biracial, you must want my 84 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 2: racial opinion throughout this letter. Well, I'm not gonna let 85 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 2: you down, So I'm gonna give a racial answer. What 86 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 2: I'm giving a racial answer. She's biracial, so my answer 87 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 2: would be racially based because that's what she wanted. Well, anyway, 88 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: biracial lady, here we go. I grew up with a 89 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: white mama, which means her daddy was black. And the 90 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: mom was start spoken and allowed you to express your 91 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 2: feelings to do what I wanted to do. Thing are 92 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: you trying to What she's trying to say is the 93 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 2: white side of her allowed her to do whatever she 94 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: wanted to do. That's what she said in the letter, 95 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 2: not me within reason. As I grew up, I saw 96 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 2: that I needed discipline. That ain't the way to raise kids. 97 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,840 Speaker 2: So I decided I would not be as lenient when 98 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 2: I have children of my own. That's the black side. 99 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 2: Your mama lets you do what you want to do. 100 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 2: Your daddy wouldn't hang with her going on? All right, 101 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 2: So here we go. So here I am newly married 102 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 2: to a white man. Thing all right? Now you done 103 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 2: bought this back into your life. Now Here come the 104 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: white man with the four white kids, with the white 105 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 2: mama with the white ruse, And now here you come, 106 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 2: little biracial lady, and you finn to deal with it. 107 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 2: Hang on, The children are testing me every day. 108 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 1: How Hang on, Steve, hang on, okay, we'll have two 109 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: of your fine one test. You have your racial refine 110 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 111 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 2: Tess me every day. You got one test. 112 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: Today Strawberry letters, subject is you fire off? I'm firing back. 113 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening Steve. 114 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 2: Harvey Morning Show. 115 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 1: The holidays. It's hard to find the right gifts, but 116 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 1: you know it's even harder getting the right gift. But 117 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: get this. Verizon's got the perfect solve for both. They 118 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: have incredible gift bundles. You get the latest phone with 119 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: a new line on my plan and a brand new 120 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: smartwatch and tablet. No trade in needed. You can give 121 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: a couple away and get yourself one two, or you 122 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: could keep them all to yourself. No one has to know. 123 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: Stop by your local Verizon. All right, Come on, Steve, 124 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is you fire off? 125 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: I'm firing back Now. 126 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 2: Lady wrote me a letter everybody, and she had no 127 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 2: reason to write this in the letter, but she said 128 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 2: she's married with four children, all them under the age 129 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 2: of fifteen, and they live with us. Two weeks after month, 130 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 2: I got soul custody of a child of mind because 131 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 2: my husband work in England. Oh that's cool. Then she said, 132 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 2: out of nowhere, I'm biracial. I grew up with my 133 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 2: white mom who let me freely do what I wanted 134 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 2: to do. And I'm assuming she didn't mention the black 135 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 2: daddy because yeah, whatever. 136 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: She mentioned it, it's in here. 137 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 2: I call. She mentioned it later on, but she didn't 138 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 2: say right here how the black daddy was. She said, 139 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 2: my white mom allowed me to express my feelings and 140 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 2: do what I wanted within reason. As I grew up, 141 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: I saw that I needed discla She didn't mention the 142 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 2: black dad right here because why cause it may not 143 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 2: be past statue limitation. So she didn't mention it because 144 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 2: black daddy did something different changed her mind. She grew 145 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 2: up and saw she needed discipline so I would not 146 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 2: be leanent when I have children of my own. Here 147 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 2: we go. Here's some more racial stuff. The reason I'm 148 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:48,479 Speaker 2: answering this letter racially is because she interjected that I'm biracial. 149 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 2: Part so I'm newly married to a white man and 150 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 2: his children are testing me every day. Eh, And see, 151 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 2: you get one test with me. You're not testing me. 152 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 2: I ain't in school. You gonna learn what you need 153 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 2: to learn on the first test day today. You gonna 154 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 2: know today. I at to one, but you letting me 155 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 2: go on. I call my black dad and my black 156 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 2: grandma for advice on dealing with my step children's lack 157 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 2: of respect. Grandmama told you talk to your husband, that's 158 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 2: a smart thing to do and the kids behavior, and 159 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: but it didn't work, then you talk to your white 160 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 2: husband about it. He said that told me if I 161 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 2: offended them, they won't want to spend time at our home. 162 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 2: I understand that, but this is my house, tutor, So 163 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 2: what you're not finna do is come in my house 164 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 2: with disrespect. So let's there's some cussing going on in 165 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 2: this letter, and it was from the sixteen year old girl, 166 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 2: but it could have should have started before that. For 167 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 2: an eight year old tells me to shut up. The 168 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 2: next question out in my mouth for clarity is who 169 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 2: you're talking to? See, I just need clarity because maybe 170 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: you was talking to the TV, maybe you was on 171 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 2: FaceTime one of your friends. I missed it. But a 172 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 2: year old tell me to shut up? Who you talking to? 173 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 2: Problem now? And then a twelve year old slams a 174 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 2: bedroom door in my face. Okay, okay, I'm not willing 175 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,559 Speaker 2: to let it slide. I'm usually home alone with them, 176 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 2: and over the weekend I saw this fourteen year old 177 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 2: daughter kissing a sixteen year old in the driveway. I 178 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 2: know his age because I dropped off at the sixteenth 179 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 2: birthday party months ago. I told her I saw her 180 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 2: and ask if she could talk about setting a better 181 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,679 Speaker 2: example for a younger similar who saw her make it out. 182 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 2: She told me, I need to mind my business now. 183 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 2: I read all this quick so we can go back, 184 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 2: because cussing has been interjected into this family dynamic. And 185 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,079 Speaker 2: I just want you to know that once you tell 186 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 2: me to shut my f and mouth the way I'm 187 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 2: talking to the white kids, after this, it's gonna be different. 188 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 2: Let's go what the age of year old tells me 189 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 2: to shut up. My first thing is for clarity who 190 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:39,199 Speaker 2: the ef you talking to? Because I need clarity. And 191 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 2: then I'm gonna say I know you mfn ain't fuck 192 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 2: because see the white kids is cussing. So I'm finna, yeah, 193 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 2: I'm finna do the biracial thing, and I'm putting you 194 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 2: putting to put the black cussing into play. Now, the combinations, 195 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 2: the the voice. The twelve year old slams a bedroom 196 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,439 Speaker 2: door in my face. Oh no that if you didn't, 197 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 2: you must not walk this MFN door. No MFN mo. 198 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 2: She has got a rhyme because we're rapping now. So 199 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 2: now I got a screwdriver. Now I done took the 200 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 2: door off. You ain't ain'tywhe ain't shutting No more doors 201 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 2: in here because I done took the door off. The 202 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 2: door in the garage, slam that dough blanketed blanket. I'm not. 203 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 2: I'm usually home alone with him. And then over the 204 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 2: weekend I saw his fourteen year old daughter kissing the 205 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 2: sixteen years I said, if you need to set a 206 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: better example, she told me to mind my FN business. Well, 207 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 2: you're about to get the FN business because I'm fitting 208 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 2: there star somebody up and it gonna be you said 209 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 2: that they introduced the cussing. I'm not cussing because we 210 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,599 Speaker 2: don't do that on this show no more. But I 211 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 2: introduced it to the faux white kids. That night. I 212 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 2: wore my husband that if one of the kids file 213 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 2: for me, I told him not to worry about it. 214 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 2: Because I handled it already today. Ain't no mfing body 215 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 2: gonna say an MFN thing to me, no MFN moment. Okay. 216 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: Lead your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and 217 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: Facebook at Steve HARBFM, and check us out on the 218 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter Podcast. 219 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: If you comment on this letter, leave your fing comments 220 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:43,199 Speaker 2: in it. 221 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: Come a free iHeartRadio app you're listening to the Steve 222 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,559 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show