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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is a John. You're og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime Podcast. Oh and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: I have new neighbors, but something's weird with them.

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Speaker 3: Eviction.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, Sophia, it's I'm Not Afraid of Scary Story

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Speaker 2: Week on Okay Storytime Podcast, where we're uncovering the most

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Speaker 2: bone chilling encounters with weird neighbors and obsessive stalkers, tales

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Speaker 2: that will have you wondering if that friendly face next

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Speaker 2: door is hiding something. If you're new here and looking

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Speaker 2: for the story. I live below a cult leader and

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Speaker 2: I fear I've angered her. Just click on the link

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Speaker 2: in the show notes or description or search I'm Not

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Speaker 2: Afraid of a Scary Story Week on Okay Storytime wherever

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Speaker 2: you get your podcasts. Now, let's dive into this one.

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Speaker 2: There is a trigger warning for kidnapping.

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Speaker 3: Ah.

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Speaker 2: I live alone in a little house in a big city,

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Speaker 2: kind of a rough around the Edges neighborhood, but I've

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Speaker 2: lived in the area most of my life, and my

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Speaker 2: block is tight knit, despite half of it being va

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Speaker 2: it or abandon. It's also a city that, like many others,

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Speaker 2: tragically has a lot of folks living out of cars

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Speaker 2: and RVs trying to eke out in existence. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user we Know our Moat Farm and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subvert it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly.

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Speaker 2: And Op says. So I shouldn't have been too surprised

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Speaker 2: when back in October last year, I got a text

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Speaker 2: from a neighbor you might want to take a look

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Speaker 2: at your back window.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, that's how I don't want to get that text.

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Speaker 2: About ten feet away was an enormous forty foot motor

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Speaker 2: home in the Dan Alley, sitting right on the edge

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Speaker 2: of the small cliff that is my unfenced backyard. Having

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Speaker 2: lived in urban areas my whole life, I'm no stranger

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Speaker 2: to odd happenings immediately outside my window, but this did

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Speaker 2: feel more intrusive than living in a ground floor apartment,

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Speaker 2: no thanks to my back window being my bathroom window.

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Speaker 2: It sat there for a few weeks without anyone paying

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Speaker 2: much mind. A few neighbors speculated it might have been

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Speaker 2: someone working on demolition and construction projects in the neighborhood,

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Speaker 2: maybe a supervisor from out of town. Whoever it was,

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Speaker 2: I didn't really mind as long as there wasn't any mess,

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Speaker 2: though I was slightly worried a wrong move would end

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Speaker 2: with someone or the whole vehicle rolling off the retaining

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Speaker 2: wall and potentially crashing through my wall. Yeah, that's something

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Speaker 2: to be worried. That's not good. Of course, there was

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Speaker 2: the small fact that half the block now couldn't access

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Speaker 2: the alley. My city is very particular about removing vehicles

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Speaker 2: if someone is potentially living in them, and after a

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Speaker 2: few roundabout calls to the parking department, I and my

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Speaker 2: neighbors were told we needed some evidence it was a

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Speaker 2: hazard or abandoned. So I grabbed a cheap webcam off

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Speaker 2: Amazon and popped it in my window, then went on

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Speaker 2: with my life. About a week later, after some friends

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Speaker 2: I had over for dinner had left, I thought I'd

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Speaker 2: check and see if the camera had picked anything up.

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Speaker 2: I didn't sleep for the next few nights.

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Speaker 3: Very fair, I wouldn't want to sleep.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what's on that camera, but we're about

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Speaker 2: to find out.

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Speaker 3: I'm scared.

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Speaker 2: Like clockwork, every night, around midnight, the lights on the

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Speaker 2: RV would flick on. In the otherwise pitch black night,

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Speaker 2: a couple of cars would pull up behind and the

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Speaker 2: occupants would unload several very full garbage bags into the RV.

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Speaker 3: Into the RV.

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Speaker 2: Then what's in the garbage bags? Then these shadowy figures

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Speaker 2: would creep down the yard of the vacant house next

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Speaker 2: door into mine and methodically circle my house God, shining

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Speaker 2: flashlights in each window.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Cars would come and go all night until about five am.

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Speaker 2: Then all was business as usual during daylight hours.

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Speaker 3: I'm scared, mom, I'm scared. What please? Please, ring ring ring,

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Speaker 3: I have recordings. I'm scared.

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Speaker 2: I think you need to dig a trench around your house.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, get some alligators for it. Man, I'm scared.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I immediately it says they're cooking some sort of substances

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Speaker 4: or hiding body barts.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're making something in there. They're making crime. They're

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Speaker 2: making crime in that arvey. It's worth mentioning that my

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Speaker 2: house is essentially a studio apartment on top of a

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Speaker 2: garage built into a slope. My bed is about ten

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Speaker 2: feet from those windows. Also, worth mentioning my neighborhood had

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Speaker 2: an alarming rash of about twenty armed home invasions the

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Speaker 2: summer before, plus arson on an occupied house across the

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Speaker 2: street a few months earlier. Vulnerable was an understatement of

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Speaker 2: how I felt. I ended up moving most of my

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Speaker 2: furniture around my bed as a makeshift barricade. I called

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Speaker 2: nine one one, and they were a bit incredulous. Nothing

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Speaker 2: was actively happening as I called, and this wasn't an emergency.

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Speaker 2: I could call the non emergency line in the morning

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Speaker 2: if I wanted to speak to an officer or detective

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Speaker 2: the next morning. I felt it was prudent to bring

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Speaker 2: in any yard tools that would make a tempting window

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Speaker 2: breaker and double check the back porch security flood had

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Speaker 2: working bulbs. Just my luck, I managed to completely break

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Speaker 2: both fixtures in the process. Can't catch a break. Immediately

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Speaker 2: as I walked out my back door, the RV's doors

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Speaker 2: swung open and a man and a woman stepped out.

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Speaker 2: They were dressed in t shirts and shorts despite the

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Speaker 2: thirty nine degree weather and looked a bit like zombies.

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Speaker 2: I waved why they didn't who? They stared past me.

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Speaker 4: I think this is some sort of substance thing if

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Speaker 4: they're looking like zombies something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that the zombie substance that turns people into zombies.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I quickly retreated back inside to keep an eye remotely,

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Speaker 2: but not before noticing something even more startling. The RV

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Speaker 2: had about six security cameras mounted on it, three of

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Speaker 2: which were trained on my back door. I was watching them,

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Speaker 2: and they were watching me. After a day or two

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Speaker 2: more of this, I had become fully nocturnal, leaving all

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Speaker 2: the lights blazing all night, and I started to feel

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Speaker 2: like I was losing my mind. This was both mostly

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Speaker 2: benign and deeply unsettling. Texting friends and family in hopes

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Speaker 2: of reassurance didn't do much. Quote, they're probably just trying

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Speaker 2: to find a quiet place away from the encampments. Maybe

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Speaker 2: they work a night shift. If you were living on

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Speaker 2: the streets, wouldn't you want a security camera? You have

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Speaker 2: one on your house. Who are your friends?

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Speaker 3: Your friends are working for these people?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your friends are in kahoots. Are with the r

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Speaker 2: V zombies.

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Speaker 4: They're in kohots because there is like total normal, you know,

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Speaker 4: activities that people who live in RV's and stuff will

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Speaker 4: Nigeon that's yeah, sure they're fine.

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Speaker 3: But this is not that. This is not people just

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Speaker 3: living in an RV.

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Speaker 4: This is people doing weird stuff in an RV and

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Speaker 4: being weird around your apartment.

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Speaker 2: They circled your house and looked at your ways with flashlights.

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Speaker 3: That's weird. That's weird. That's not normal people behavior.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Op continues, Maybe I was being paranoid. No, my

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Speaker 2: neighbors were mostly preoccupied with the alley being blocked and

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Speaker 2: subsequent missed deliveries, and it's not like the city was

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Speaker 2: going to do much anyway. The cars kept coming and

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Speaker 2: going all night. The people with flashlights stayed just outside

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Speaker 2: the edge of my yard, but I'd catch the occasional

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Speaker 2: flash through the window. After being reluctant to leave the

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Speaker 2: house and my cat alone, I had to leave for

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Speaker 2: an in person work meeting. While I was gone, my

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Speaker 2: camera pinged me about activity. The RV folks had set

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Speaker 2: up steaks around my property and were wrapping yellow caution

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Speaker 2: tape around my yard, across the alley and set up

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Speaker 2: a barricade of traffic cones around their vehicle.

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Speaker 3: They literally can't do that.

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Speaker 2: They are absolutely zooted out of their mind.

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Speaker 3: On something they literally can't do that.

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Speaker 2: This was just getting weirder by this point, A few

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Speaker 2: of us on the block started a group text to

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Speaker 2: keep tabs on things. One neighbor a few houses down

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Speaker 2: caught the female half of this duo in her backyard

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Speaker 2: with a chainsaw, limbing their oak tree in broad daylight.

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Speaker 3: Do they own part of this place?

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Speaker 2: No, they're just people in the RVY.

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Speaker 3: Then they can't be chopping down an oak tree.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that they have a chainsaw.

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Speaker 3: I don't like that either.

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Speaker 2: The neighbors confronted her, and she gave the same treatment

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Speaker 2: as me, a mute thousand yard stare. That neighbor called

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Speaker 2: it in and I watched a few officers around for

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Speaker 2: a minute, clearly puzzled by the barricades and tape. I

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Speaker 2: thought there might be some sort of imminent solution, but

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Speaker 2: they booked it back to their squad and took off

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Speaker 2: with lights and sirens. There was an incident a few

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Speaker 2: blocks over, and I assume they got called to it.

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Speaker 2: Another night goes by, punctuated by the RV's alarm going

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Speaker 2: off every couple hours and the engine revving menacingly, though

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Speaker 2: nothing out of the ordinary for this new ordinary, I

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Speaker 2: take my mid morning nap I'd become accustomed to over

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Speaker 2: the past week, only to be woken by loud, angry yelling.

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Speaker 2: I pull up the camera. Feet out back is another neighbor,

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Speaker 2: the goofy dad ex naval officer, venting his frustrations to

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Speaker 2: a police officer who's banging the RV door with the baton,

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Speaker 2: demanding the occupants come out. There's a brand new sports

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Speaker 2: car parked behind one that I'd barely made out on

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Speaker 2: my cheap camera's night vision. I carefully left out the

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Speaker 2: front so as to not be conspicuous, and circled up

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Speaker 2: the mouth of the alley to speak with the officer

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Speaker 2: and explain my story in a near dream of consciousness ramble.

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Speaker 2: Did you see them leave? Nope? I played back the

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Speaker 2: camera and the sports car showed up around five thirty

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Speaker 2: in the morning, and nobody had left since. He said

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Speaker 2: the car was too new to have current registration and

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Speaker 2: the RV was registered to a deceased person four counties away.

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Speaker 2: Suspicious but nothing outright criminal, but he'd ticket them with

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Speaker 2: a twenty four hour to notice. As he was typing

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Speaker 2: up the ticket, the sports car came barreling down the

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Speaker 2: alley in reverse, nearly plowing into the cruiser, and I

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Speaker 2: was told very sternly to leave immediately. I ran home

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Speaker 2: and pulled up a police scanner feed to try and

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Speaker 2: glean some information. They were calling for a gang officer,

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Speaker 2: a domestic violence unit, a vice squad, and CSI. So

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Speaker 2: my gut feeling wasn't too far off the mark.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's crazy that, like this was all happening and

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Speaker 4: the police.

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Speaker 3: Weren't fall, you know, doing anything for a long time.

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Speaker 2: It seems, yeah, just fully useless. And now they're calling

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Speaker 2: like every squad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, oh, it's super serious.

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Speaker 4: And he's like, yeah, I've been Oh my goodness, if

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Speaker 4: if I was OP, i'd be going back to my

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Speaker 4: friends and being like, yeah, they called all of these people.

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Speaker 3: Seems like I probably wasn't just paranoid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, looks like I wasn't the weird one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Friends, Thanks guys. So it turns out my gut feeling

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Speaker 2: wasn't too far off the mark. Later that night, the

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Speaker 2: officer called me asking to send the entirety of my footage.

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Speaker 2: I asked if there was anything he could divulge about

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Speaker 2: was happening. He said, I can't tell you much, But

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Speaker 2: this was a bad dude and he's going away terrifying.

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Speaker 2: We towed the car as evidence, but we'll have to

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Speaker 2: wait until morning to get a big enough truck to

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Speaker 2: move the RV. To say I slept well that night

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00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,520
Speaker 2: was an understatement, but that calm was shattered quite literally

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Speaker 2: early the next morning, as I heard glass breaking outside.

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Speaker 2: What three masked men were breaking into the RV with crowbars?

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Speaker 3: Huh, please bring me ring fix this? Why is the

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Speaker 3: RV still there?

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Speaker 2: I was a twenty four hour toe notice. One was

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Speaker 2: up on a ladder sawing through the roof with an

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Speaker 2: angle grinder.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Called nine one one, struggling to explain the context of

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Speaker 2: what was going on, once again met with a verbal

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Speaker 2: eye roll from the call taker. Is it your RV? No, sir,

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Speaker 2: you can't report a stolen vehicle that isn't yours. What.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry you can't.

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Speaker 2: I would have just been like, there's people breaking into

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Speaker 2: my neighbor's house. I think, yeah, that he lives in

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Speaker 2: the alley.

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Speaker 4: Also, I'm sorry, we can't report a break in to

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Speaker 4: a RV that is in an active like investigation.

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Speaker 2: Huh, crazy, useless. I hung up and tried again, hoping

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Speaker 2: to get someone else on the other end. We have

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Speaker 2: a record dispatched to that location. Are you sure these

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Speaker 2: aren't the toe operators? Sure enough. Just as these guys

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00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 2: managed to get the RV started, the tow truck was

246
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,760
Speaker 2: coming around the corner. They booked it so fast it

247
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,440
Speaker 2: ripped up the gravel, and it's a miracle it didn't

248
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Speaker 2: end up through someone's wall.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not the tow truck drivers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, whatever Shenanigan's happened, we're seemingly over Seemingly, I

251
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,560
Speaker 2: suppose this is an epilogue of sorts, and by far

252
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,720
Speaker 2: the most unsettling part of this story. I quickly upgraded

253
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 2: my chitsy camera to a couple commercial grade ones with

254
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:09,200
Speaker 2: smart object detection, synchronized floodlights, and automatic sirens, hoping i'd

255
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 2: rest easy. No, it was going off all the time,

256
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,880
Speaker 2: at least once or twice a week for over a month.

257
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,840
Speaker 2: The cameras caught creeps skulking around my backyard and windows

258
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,800
Speaker 2: with flashlights. Plenty of other times, cars idled with the

259
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,080
Speaker 2: lights off in the alley for unsettlingly long periods. The

260
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,240
Speaker 2: one I can't shake was the guy at three am

261
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,240
Speaker 2: slowly making his way up the alley in a low crouch,

262
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,520
Speaker 2: taking a long pause directly behind my house, and then

263
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,480
Speaker 2: booking it towards my door full steam. Or the guy

264
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,040
Speaker 2: that managed to get past the cameras and I came

265
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,319
Speaker 2: face to face with his ugly mug pressed up against

266
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 2: my kitchen window at midnight. At least the alarms did

267
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,640
Speaker 2: their job. Every one of these guys took off once

268
00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,360
Speaker 2: it lit up like a stadium with sirens blaring. For

269
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 2: some comic relief. That last guy tried to hop a

270
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,280
Speaker 2: retaining wall and face planet on the other side. Of course,

271
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 2: again and family had some not so reassuring platitudes. Maybe

272
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 2: it was someone looking for a lost dog, or someone

273
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,440
Speaker 2: got lost in the alley, or maybe this just always

274
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,320
Speaker 2: happened before I had lights and cameras.

275
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Speaker 3: Are they being purposely obtuse?

276
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,800
Speaker 2: Yeah? What is wrong with your friends and family?

277
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:16,400
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

278
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,800
Speaker 4: If my friend was telling me that I have people

279
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 4: skulking around my apartment and my alarms are going off,

280
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,320
Speaker 4: I'm like, Hey, do you want to move?

281
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,520
Speaker 3: Should we get you out of there?

282
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 4: Yeah?

283
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,680
Speaker 3: I'm not saying maybe with the dog. Do you think

284
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,160
Speaker 3: it was maybe I don't know, like a lost puppy.

285
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,160
Speaker 2: They're just all like part of this like weird, like

286
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. This

287
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:40,920
Speaker 2: is weird crime.

288
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,360
Speaker 3: Weird crime, law and order, weird crime.

289
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,880
Speaker 2: Yes, we have a weird crime unit, shaking what little

290
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 2: faith I had in law enforcement. The cops, if they

291
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,920
Speaker 2: showed up at all, were at least an hour late.

292
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,760
Speaker 2: But here's the cherry on top. I filed a public

293
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,640
Speaker 2: request for an arrest and case report, and it got

294
00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,520
Speaker 2: back months later. Turns out my neighbor in the RV

295
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,960
Speaker 2: had kidnapped his ex girlfriend. She had called nine one one,

296
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,800
Speaker 2: but didn't know the neighborhood, and the cops were looking

297
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,040
Speaker 2: for them in a different part of town. I hope

298
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,680
Speaker 2: that nine one one operator that you called and were like, yeah,

299
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,880
Speaker 2: this is an issueing fires. I hope that they lost

300
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,400
Speaker 2: their job or sorry, I don't know.

301
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,280
Speaker 4: Also, you and it seemingly your neighbors called the police

302
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 4: multiple times about this RV. And if I'm an officer,

303
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,080
Speaker 4: and I have one lady call and saying I've been

304
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 4: kidnapped and I'm in an RV, and then I have

305
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 4: some other people saying I have a weird RV and

306
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,440
Speaker 4: there's some strange things going on.

307
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 3: I'd put the dots together.

308
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 2: But wait, so she was the one that then had

309
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 2: the chainsaw and was cutting the branches on that tree.

310
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,440
Speaker 2: I don't know, and then like didn't talk or maybe

311
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 2: that wasn't her, Maybe we don't like the who knows?

312
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,960
Speaker 2: So anyways, she'd called nine one one, but didn't know

313
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,680
Speaker 2: the neighborhood, and the cops were looking for them in

314
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,520
Speaker 2: a different part of town. She had a lengthy wrap

315
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 2: sheet for felony, burglary, for odd and firearms charges. An

316
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 2: acquaintance of his was interviewed by detectives and said the

317
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,480
Speaker 2: RV was packed to the gills with bang bangs and

318
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,600
Speaker 2: improvised weapons. And this guy told the witness that he

319
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,520
Speaker 2: would come back and hunt whoever sent him back to jail.

320
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 2: Oh and right at the bottom in all caps was

321
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,720
Speaker 2: my name and address with the phone number redacted listed

322
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,040
Speaker 2: as reporting party slash complainant.

323
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,440
Speaker 3: You need to move, op, like, genuinely, you have to

324
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 3: move now.

325
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,400
Speaker 2: Need to move her. You're not protect yourself, You're not safe,

326
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,119
Speaker 2: be protected.

327
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like.

328
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna hunt them down. And then they say

329
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:42,360
Speaker 4: and we're gonna list Op directly, name number and address.

330
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,280
Speaker 3: Just in case he doesn't know where to go.

331
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,920
Speaker 2: Op continues. The cops searched the sports car and found

332
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,720
Speaker 2: nothing of note. The RV, as you recall, was apparently stolen.

333
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,320
Speaker 2: Before they could even get a valid warrant, the ex

334
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,200
Speaker 2: fled during the arrest, as I saw on camera, and

335
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 2: was never heard from again.

336
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 3: These police officers suck.

337
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 2: The DA dropped the case, and this guy was released

338
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 2: from jail forty eight hours later. It's been about six

339
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 2: months since my last night visitor. There hasn't been a

340
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 2: whole lot of peace of mind before I turn in

341
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 2: for the night. It's slowly fading, but I can't say

342
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 2: I'm not a little on edge after dark, even in

343
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,960
Speaker 2: my own home. My house is now completely lit three

344
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 2: sixty degrees. I've put various dense and spiky plantings around

345
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 2: my windows and the perimeter, and I sleep with a

346
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 2: rifle next to my bed. Yeah, but fortunately new folks

347
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 2: have moved into the vacant houses on either side of me,

348
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,640
Speaker 2: and they are also good people. I just don't know

349
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 2: if I have the heart to tell them all what

350
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 2: went down. And that is the end of that story.

351
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 3: My dream guy is destined for an arranged marriage.

352
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 2: Is it with you?

353
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 4: About a month ago, I twenty six female, met this

354
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 4: amazing guy, thirty male, on a hinge. He's an experienced

355
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,480
Speaker 4: attorney with an ivy lee background, plays both saxophone and

356
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 4: drums in two separate bands, and has a tantalizing British Accis.

357
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 3: This guy's not re oo hey, that's a Cafish.

358
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 5: Guys a fake.

359
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 2: I would have had something funny to say, but I

360
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,199
Speaker 2: had to squeeze a sneeze out of my nostrils. Squeeze

361
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,640
Speaker 2: a sneeze, Yeah, I just had to pinch a sneeze down.

362
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,879
Speaker 4: I'm in my last year of law school myself, so

363
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,919
Speaker 4: we quickly connected on the shared challenges of the legal field.

364
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,080
Speaker 4: Don't be a lawyer. By the way, this comes from

365
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 4: Throway twenty to twenty twenty two to seven, And if

366
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

367
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 4: r slash Okay Storytime subpared it.

368
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm.

369
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 2: Dakota, and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice.

370
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 3: Goofully.

371
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,040
Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

372
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 4: what we do, So let us know what you would

373
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 4: do in the comments, and Opie says, After some chatting,

374
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 4: he calls and asks me on a date and I

375
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 4: say yes. The call itself was great, lighthearted and fun,

376
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 4: and I start getting really excited about meeting him. Later

377
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 4: that week, he picks me up for our first date

378
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 4: and we go to dinner. We have all types of conversations,

379
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 4: from playful banner to strongly held values.

380
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 3: I immediately feel.

381
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 4: Comfortable with him. It was like real with a long

382
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,879
Speaker 4: lost friend. Dinner goes so well that we decided to

383
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,880
Speaker 4: go to a wine chocolate jazz bar.

384
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:10,239
Speaker 3: Whine did chocolate jazz bar? Can we go? Comment on

385
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 3: opiece posts and ask where this is whine and chocolate

386
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:14,440
Speaker 3: jazz bar?

387
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 5: Sofia, we're in Los Angeles. I guarantee you'll find it right.

388
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 3: Why did chocolate jazz bar? I can't even find jazz

389
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,439
Speaker 3: bars that are like eighty dollars?

390
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 2: Why do we need wine and chocolate? What do we children?

391
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,359
Speaker 3: I just need chocolate chocolate?

392
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,680
Speaker 2: And why don't we get intoxicated off the smooth sounds

393
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 2: of jazz.

394
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 4: Indulcet tones of jazz and sit in the back talking

395
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 4: and laughing until we realized.

396
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 3: We were the last people in the place.

397
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 4: We go back to my place and watch some NPR

398
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,680
Speaker 4: tiny desk over wine.

399
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,680
Speaker 2: Was this written just to like trigger you? She's shaking,

400
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 2: Sophia is shaking.

401
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 3: It's like those tiktoks where people are like on the

402
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 3: phone with like they're not actually on the phone, but

403
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,919
Speaker 3: they're like, I just started saying all of my my

404
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: husband's favorite words to see if he looks up this

405
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 3: is with me.

406
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's They're doing this on purpose to you, and.

407
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 3: Before long we end up having mind blown, spicy sleep.

408
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 3: Last week, I was at a.

409
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 4: Social event and decided to reach out to see if

410
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 4: he was available to hang out. He invited me for drinks.

411
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 3: Or to come over to watch this dish.

412
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 2: She's actually losing it, folks.

413
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:24,640
Speaker 3: What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

414
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 2: Your dream?

415
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 3: What is going on?

416
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 4: We had previously discussed I picked the latter. I mean,

417
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 4: they already said he was British?

418
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 3: Is this time on? I show up to his place.

419
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 4: When I come inside, he hands me pajamas to get

420
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 4: comfy in and asks if I'd like anything to drink.

421
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,640
Speaker 3: I won't go into too much detail, but we had

422
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 3: a great night together and I slept over okay.

423
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 4: So he went out of town for Easter and just

424
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 4: got back yesterday. I texted him to see how everything went.

425
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,719
Speaker 3: And he calls me.

426
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 4: We again have a great conversation until he informs me

427
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 4: he wants to talk to me about something things serious. Well,

428
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 4: that serious thing ends up being that he was actually

429
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 4: on a date this past.

430
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 3: Weekend with a girl.

431
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 4: No, a girl that his parents are setting him up

432
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 4: with for purposes of an arranged marriage.

433
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 2: No.

434
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: He tells me he has big decisions to make, but

435
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 4: he really likes me, so wanted to be upfront about

436
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 4: the situation.

437
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a setup for some kind

438
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,199
Speaker 2: of financial manipulation. He's going to be like, but I

439
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 2: can't go. They froze my finances, so if you can

440
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 2: give me five thousand dollars, I'll come back to the state.

441
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 2: Dang or guys, he's back there right now, right he

442
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 2: came back. He went there for Easter and he's back now.

443
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, Katy Pellis says, Sophia like whine, No, I don't don't.

444
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 4: I don't like wine. So if he doesn't like any drink,

445
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 4: I don't like alcohol. I'm moving at the end of

446
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 4: next month myself. So it has already got to be

447
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 4: difficult for us. Given the situation, He says, we can

448
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 4: either one just be friends, or two continue to see

449
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 4: each other romantically until I move or this arranged marriage

450
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 4: thing gets serious, or three stop seeing each other altogether.

451
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 3: Don't dut duh?

452
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 2: What's up with the arrange? What is he like a prince?

453
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 2: Or something like? Can he not get out of this?

454
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 6: Yeah?

455
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 2: I mean if.

456
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 4: Marriage, he doesn't have to do it. He also mentioned

457
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 4: that if we continue romantically, he knows he's really going

458
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 4: to like me and it might be painful to part ways.

459
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 4: Then don't what I suppose My question is should I

460
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 4: continue to see him until I leave we have such

461
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 4: an amazing connection being around him as like a breath

462
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 4: of fresh air. Or should I spare both of us

463
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 4: the inevitable heartbreak and call it off? And there are

464
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 4: some comments, but truthfully, if he's already telling you that

465
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 4: he's got one foot out the door, don't don't continue

466
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 4: your relationship with the man. You had a great date,

467
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 4: that's great, don't continue.

468
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 2: I just need the info, like, yeah, why why why

469
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 2: are you in an arranged marriage? Why are you like

470
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 2: not rebelling against that? I don't know if you've heard

471
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 2: of this concept of free will. I don't know if

472
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: the monarchy is just really step on on you over

473
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 2: there or No. He's got a British accent, so he

474
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 2: might not.

475
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 3: He's British. He's British doesn't mean it doesn't mean it's.

476
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 2: Not can't you not be English if you're British? What

477
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: does the crown British? I don't understand the British isles,

478
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 2: but I do understand. I don't know what you're that.

479
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: I need more information. He's literally been like, I like

480
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 2: you so much, but it's like, ah, we're probably just

481
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 2: gonna get closer enough to break up.

482
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 3: I mean an arranged marriage.

483
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 4: I mean six of And he says it's a cultural thing,

484
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 4: a lot of pressure. Probably it's probably like his family's

485
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 4: pressuring him to do this thing, and he's like.

486
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: Uh, I have to listen to them. Yeah.

487
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 4: Comments Comment one says, sounds like this relationship has an

488
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 4: expiration date. You he obviously doesn't have any intentions of

489
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 4: stopping the arranged marriage. Besides, it's only been a month. Honestly,

490
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 4: it sounds like you're putting this guy on a pedestal,

491
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't be surprised if you're not the only girl.

492
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 3: He's saying this too. Dude, didn't just find out he

493
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 3: was getting an arranged marriage.

494
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 4: Come on now, pee. None of the three options he

495
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 4: gave you ended with you two together, which says a

496
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 4: lot in itself.

497
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a good one reply.

498
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 4: This is good advice. I would stop the relationship now.

499
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 4: If you think you can use the time remaining to

500
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 4: make him fall in love with you and dip out

501
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 4: of the marriage arranged by his parents, It's not gonna happen.

502
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 4: You'll just get hurt. Even worse, the guy shouldn't even

503
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: be dating like that if he's got an impending marriage.

504
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 4: Seems like he's having a last hurrah before matrimony.

505
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 3: And there is an update. But yeah, you.

506
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 4: Should just cut it off right now because literally the

507
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 4: only thing that this can be as casual, and you

508
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 4: already know that you like him a lot, so take

509
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 4: yourself out of this update. My fellow editors, thank you

510
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 4: for the advice to the people who were cruel and rude.

511
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 4: You could have been nicer, but some points were made.

512
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 4: It's funny how much emotions can muddy your judgment when

513
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 4: you're in it. After reading through all the comments. Consulting

514
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 4: my friends and some meditation, I came up with a

515
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 4: list of questions they wanted answered before making a final decision.

516
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

517
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 4: I then texted him and told him I had questions

518
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 4: that need answers, and he said, love it. So we

519
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,439
Speaker 4: op on, and after making some jokes about conducting a

520
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 4: direct examination in court being in session, we get serious

521
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 4: and I start asking him some difficult questions. He answered

522
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 4: openly and honestly, even when it required him to be

523
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,479
Speaker 4: vulnerable and admit to some faults he acknowledged before I

524
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 4: even asked. That it was unfair and selfish for him

525
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 4: to get unhinge, but he had intended for it to

526
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 4: only be casual and didn't expect to make such a

527
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 4: strong connection with me. Keep in mind that I also

528
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 4: wanted this to be casual because I knew I was

529
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 4: going to be moving out of town. I just don't

530
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 4: think either of us anticipated in enjoying each other's company

531
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 4: so much.

532
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 3: It was uncanny almost.

533
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 4: I still can't wrap my head around the fact that

534
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 4: someone I've only been on two dates with has made

535
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 4: such an impression on me. I've been on plenty of

536
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 4: dates with other men, but none of them have felt

537
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 4: so comfortable again. It felt like we were all friends.

538
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 4: When I asked about where he was in the arranged

539
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 4: marriage process, he told me he had known his parents

540
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 4: were looking for a wife for him since he broke

541
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 4: up with his girlfriend in December, and he had known

542
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,239
Speaker 4: before meeting me that he was supposed to meet this

543
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 4: girl in April. He had stopped talking to any other

544
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 4: girls other than me, but he just hadn't expected to

545
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 4: like me so much, especially after our first date. And

546
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 4: then he told me we couldn't see each other anymore.

547
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,719
Speaker 4: He said he made a commitment and he wouldn't want

548
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 4: to tarnish his family's reputation or dishonor his potential future wife,

549
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 4: to which I was like, okay, fair enough, considering I'm

550
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 4: moving and we've only been on two dates, no matter

551
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 4: how great they were. But I will say I don't

552
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 4: think I realized how concrete or set in stone things

553
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 4: were with the arranged marriage thing. Truly misunderstood the process.

554
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 4: I have friends with arranged marriages, and theirs went down

555
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 4: a bit differently. I wouldn't have considered even being with

556
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 4: him if I thought for sure he was going to

557
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 4: end up with this girl.

558
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: Is this guy like in Bridgerton, like what's upon thy honor?

559
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 2: I would not bespirch thy honor, dear maiden. But being like,

560
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: maybe I don't want to marry you because I'm in

561
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: love with someone.

562
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: Actually, well I don't think he's in love.

563
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 2: Well we all know they are, just like we all

564
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: know you guys are dating.

565
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 4: My understanding was that he was just going to keep

566
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 4: going on dates his parents set up until he met him.

567
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 4: But it seems more like he has to see it

568
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 4: through all the way with this girl and only break

569
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 4: it off if there's a major issue.

570
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 3: Crazy.

571
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 4: Anyways, he was really sad about breaking it off and

572
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 4: told me some flattering things about what he liked about me,

573
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 4: and told me that he's not choosing her over me

574
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 4: by our respective merits, but more so out of duty

575
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 4: and not to take this as a rejection.

576
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 2: My god, can we normalize breaking away from like making

577
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, one of the biggest, most important interpersonal

578
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 2: relationships you have in your life, a duty to someone

579
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: other than yourself if.

580
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 4: You don't want to do it, you know, I can't

581
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 4: understand this type of cultural pressure that this guy seems

582
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 4: to be under it.

583
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,920
Speaker 3: But you know, don't want to do it.

584
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 4: Then he asked if he could stay friends and just

585
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 4: be platonic. He even said he would be cool talking

586
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 4: about the guys I'm Dayton, or my career or my hobbies.

587
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 4: I told him I give him an answer when passion's cool,

588
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 4: because as of now, I'm still very attracted to him,

589
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 4: and having any type of in depth intellectual conversation with

590
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 4: him would not help alleviate those feelings for me. One

591
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 4: last thing to address. I didn't mean dream guy in

592
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 4: the way that he is perfect or even the right

593
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 4: fit for me. Obviously he's not either of those things.

594
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 4: I was just trying to convey my excitement about how

595
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 4: I had found someone that checked a lot of boxes

596
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 4: for me and connected with me in a way that

597
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 4: made me seen and appreciated for exactly who I am.

598
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 4: And I think he felt the same way. We were

599
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 4: on the same wavelength about so many of our values, religion, economics, politics,

600
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 4: social circles, philosophy, music, art, mental health careers. That's a

601
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 4: rare thing to share with another person, at least in

602
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 4: my experience. I'm a bit sad about the outcome, but

603
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 4: I'm moving forward. There is a little bit more to

604
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 4: this story. Any final thoughts.

605
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,239
Speaker 2: I think it's whack for him to be like, we

606
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: could still be friends.

607
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I don't think you should do that.

608
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 2: It's like, I think that's a bad idea. Pick a lane,

609
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 2: my dude, I have a duty to not be with you.

610
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 2: But also I'll just like say you're my friend and

611
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 2: then secretly maintain in relationship. But you have no honor.

612
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 2: You don't want the If you don't want to do

613
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 2: the honor, don't do the honor thing. You were already

614
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: out here trying to clap on hinge and then it

615
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 2: just so happened you really fell for somebody. It feels like.

616
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 4: It's not quite honorable for you to be like, I'm

617
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 4: gonna be in this full on relationship with this person

618
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 4: and then go on hinge.

619
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 2: But before I do that, I'm a smash.

620
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 4: No, the pajamas were his own pajamas, not another woman's.

621
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 4: Arranged marriage is still very much a thing, unfortunately, but

622
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 4: arranged marriage doesn't always mean the person will not fall

623
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 4: in love with their spouse or be happy. Also, I

624
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 4: don't want to, like to be clear, there's no problem

625
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 4: with arranged marriages as long as everyone involved is on board.

626
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 4: Arranged marriages are like a very like old thing. They've

627
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 4: been around for a really long time. And there are

628
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 4: a lot of you know, families that do it from

629
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 4: a place of like, I know this person would be

630
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 4: like great for my child, and you know, my child

631
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 4: really cares about finding a person in their culture. And

632
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 4: it's like not necessarily bad as long as everyone's on board,

633
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 4: and it's not coming from a place.

634
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 3: Of like I have to do this or my family's

635
00:28:59,040 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 3: gonna cast me in.

636
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 2: Let's just keep it matchmaking. Huh, folks, Let's keep it

637
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 2: at matchmaking and not if you don't do this, our

638
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: lives are ruined. No.

639
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, the family still tries to pick a good personality

640
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 4: fit for their children, and they can say no, there

641
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 4: are just some heavy social consequences that stem from the

642
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 4: lingering archaic caste system in India. I'm not materialistic or superficial.

643
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 4: The accolades I described him having are objectively impressive, so

644
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 4: much so some of y'all thought he was a fake person.

645
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 4: I like what I like and I have standards. Those

646
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 4: are things I like about.

647
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: Him, not why I liked him very different.

648
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story. Yeah, I think

649
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 4: that if he's got. You know, he seems to be

650
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 4: pretty set on this arranged marriage, so I think that

651
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 4: it would not be a good idea for you to

652
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 4: try and maintain any sort of relationship with him.

653
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 3: But chucks, but you know how it is. But that's

654
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 3: the end of that story. We've got another one though.

655
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 2: My arranged marriage is starting to turn miserable.

656
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 3: Then let's arrange a divorce.

657
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: And there's a trigger warning for verbal abuse. I twenty female,

658
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: was born and raised in Canada, but my parents are

659
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: from Asia. My parents arranged for me to marry a

660
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: guy twenty four male of their choosing from their home country.

661
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,959
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from us or Midnight Eternal,

662
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

663
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime subbured it. I'm Dakota,

664
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, and I'm Keon, and we're here to give

665
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: good advice. Goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

666
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, so let us know

667
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments. Op says at

668
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 2: the time, I was pretty naive and agreed without much thought,

669
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: thinking it was far in the future four years past.

670
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 2: We went on vacation to their country, my third time

671
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: ever being there, and there I was about to be

672
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: married off to a stranger even before that. Wait, so

673
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: you agreed to this at sixteen. You can't really agree

674
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: to that at sixteen. Well, no, it is agree. You agreed,

675
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: You implicitly agreed at sixteen, and then four years went by.

676
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 2: I say, Sacy, and it's like.

677
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 3: Well, any contract with a minor is not legally bending.

678
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: Have you heard of this thing called changing your mind?

679
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 3: Please change your mind.

680
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 2: Even before the marriage, things went wrong repeatedly. The wedding

681
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: nearly got called off four times because my husband's family

682
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 2: either insulted mine or tried to weasel out of paying

683
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 2: their share of the wedding expenses. At this point, I

684
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: had strong misgivings about these people, but my parents assured

685
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,959
Speaker 2: me it was all misunderstandings and that they were good people,

686
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: just sensitive about money. My family isn't well off, but

687
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: we were slightly better off than my husband's family. My

688
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 2: parents and his parents used to be very close, which

689
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 2: initially led to the arranged marriage. Why are we getting

690
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: our kids married like they're on a playdate after daycare

691
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: when they're three years old? Once your kids can think

692
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 2: for themselves. You kind of are now beyond the time

693
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,479
Speaker 2: window where play dates and that kind of thing should

694
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 2: be allowed. You know, I was never forced into this

695
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: marriage and always believe my parents were acting in my

696
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 2: best interest. But I felt pressured to say yes because

697
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: I didn't want to disappoint them. Aka, you were coerced

698
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: into this marriage. Yeah, a type of force. We got

699
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 2: married and I spent about forty days with my husband

700
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 2: in his country. Having never been in a relationship before,

701
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure what to expect. Your parents do not

702
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 2: deserve you.

703
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not great. That's not good at all.

704
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 2: He seemed nice and considerate, and while we struggled to

705
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 2: find common ground for conversation, I enjoyed spending time with him.

706
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: We had spicies leap once, nothing remarkable like most first times,

707
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: and decided to hold off on the physical relationship while

708
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 2: getting to know each other better. We talked about hopes, dreams, aspirations,

709
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: and children. We seemed to have similar ideas about what

710
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 2: we wanted from the relationship and life in general. When

711
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 2: I returned to Canada, I resumed my life as a

712
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: university student. My one dream as the first person in

713
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 2: my family. To graduate high school is to attend medical school, right,

714
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 2: Carly just walked in here, and I got scared immediately.

715
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 2: He is the last story I commented before we read it.

716
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, Kean told me that he loved Carly,

717
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: like before they started officially dating. And then I saw

718
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 2: you in the comments and you were like, so you

719
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: did say it first. And then you just walked in

720
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh God. I was like, she's

721
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 2: here for me, She's here to finally eliminate me. Okay, sorry,

722
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 2: I'm incredibly close to achieving this goal with a near

723
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: perfect GPA and ninety eight percentile MCAT school.

724
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 3: Dang.

725
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: This final year before applying is crucial. I've sacrificed a

726
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 2: lot to get here, and as a result, I'm extremely

727
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 2: busy and can't talk to my husband often. I warned

728
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: him before leaving that I wanted this more than anything

729
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 2: in the world, and he said he would always support me.

730
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: Great the stranger you know for less than a month

731
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 2: and a half, we can stake our lives on that.

732
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

733
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 2: But once I became less responsive on the phone, he

734
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 2: grew clingy, constantly asking why aren't you answering me, what

735
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 2: are you doing Why are you ignoring me? I felt

736
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 2: guilted into talking to him every other day before bed,

737
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 2: which is taking a toll on my health. Dude to

738
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 2: sleep deprivation. Two months into the marriage, our families had

739
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 2: another falling out that remains unresolved.

740
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 5: Why did they even want to do it?

741
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 2: Your family's hated?

742
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 3: That would piss me off.

743
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 4: If the two families that literally forced us to get

744
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 4: together didn't even like each other anymore, I'd be like,

745
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 4: are you kidding me?

746
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

747
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?

748
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 2: Set sail for divorce.

749
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 3: You may me marry this guy.

750
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 4: You maybe agree to marry this guy at sixteen. Now

751
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 4: you don't even like his family?

752
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah?

753
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 3: Was the point?

754
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: What happened? In four years? My husband kept bringing this

755
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: issue up, trying to get me to pick someb but

756
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: I didn't want to discuss it because I felt it

757
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 2: had nothing to do with us and would create unnecessary conflict.

758
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 2: Then we had a massive, no holds barred argument on

759
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 2: the phone, where he insulted me, called me irresponsible and uncaring,

760
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 2: and accused my family and me of looking down on

761
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: him and his family. He brought up all the times

762
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 2: the wedding year that got called off and raised issues

763
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: he'd never mentioned before, all very specific to his culture

764
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 2: that I was oblivious to. His anger genuinely scared me.

765
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 2: He yelled so loudly that I could still hear him

766
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 2: when I put my phone on the table and walked

767
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 2: away from it. I was deeply hurt and didn't speak

768
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 2: to him for two days. He apologized, and I made

769
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: it clear that I would never be able to meet

770
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 2: his cultural expectations of what a wife should be. This

771
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 2: incident made me seriously question our entire relationship. I thought

772
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: we had a great understanding and agreed on what constitutes

773
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: a good relationship, but during the argument, he seemed like

774
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 2: a completely different person. Does anyone else have anything to

775
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: say right now?

776
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 3: I don't think you know who he is. I think

777
00:35:58,440 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 3: he's a stranger.

778
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's full of rage and actually secretly hates me

779
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,399
Speaker 2: and my family for being slightly better off than they are.

780
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 2: His rage honestly scared me, and part of me wondered

781
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 2: what would have happened if we'd had this fight in person.

782
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 2: We really don't have much in common, and I have

783
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 2: to work hard to stay engaged in conversations with him.

784
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 2: Our parents continued fighting, and this is two months. Yeah,

785
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,800
Speaker 2: this is two months into what is supposed to last forever.

786
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 3: Get out, Yeah, get out of the get out.

787
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 2: And I don't care if your parents are like, no,

788
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 2: we can. I will hate you forever by shut up. Parents,

789
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: y'all suck. I'm gonna be a doctor, and I guarantee

790
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 2: you once you become a doctor, they're gonna be like, oh, actually,

791
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: we don't hate you anymore because now you look good.

792
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 3: And also you want your money.

793
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you look good on us money, me money, please,

794
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: thank you. Our parents continued fighting and we kept getting

795
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 2: dragged into it. I have no interest in the issue,

796
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 2: but he keeps trying to bring it up, leading to

797
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 2: small fights and witchy exchanges. My anxiety is through the

798
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: roof and I'm struggling to stay focused on school. I

799
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 2: dread talking to him. I don't hate him, but I

800
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 2: definitely don't love him. There's also the question of sponsoring

801
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 2: him for immigration. No, my husband has never pushed me

802
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 2: about sponsoring him and always says he'd be fine spending

803
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 2: the rest of his life in his own country. My

804
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: ugliest thought, though, is what if he's lying and only

805
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 2: married me for the passport. I don't have any reason

806
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: to believe this, But I also don't have a reason

807
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 2: not to believe it either. I don't know if this

808
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 2: marriage can work out.

809
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: It can't, it shouldn't.

810
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 2: Thank goodness, you at least know it.

811
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,760
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, like two months in you're realizing this. I oh, good, good,

812
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,879
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you're not realizing this ten years later.

813
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 2: First relationship didn't even pick it. He also becomes first

814
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 2: marriage didn't even decide on that. It's good that you

815
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: have an innate sense that this feels not good.

816
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 4: Like a lot of people who are in first relationships

817
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 4: don't realize this for a lot longer. So props to

818
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 4: you for like spotting the red flags early on Perropa Ruski.

819
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 2: My parents have unequivocally said they'd support me if I

820
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 2: chose to get divorced.

821
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I would be so mad.

822
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 3: I would so I would be livid.

823
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,720
Speaker 4: If they came to me and said, like, we support

824
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 4: you if you want to get avorce, I'd be like,

825
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. Didn't seem very supportive when I didn't want

826
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 4: to marry him in the first place.

827
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 2: Well, first, I think OP didn't really voice the fact

828
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 2: that they didn't want to get married to this guy.

829
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 2: Because of the pressure that they had already put on

830
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 2: her and sort of like, you know, I'm sure it

831
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 2: was more than just one conversation at sixteen. I'm sure

832
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 2: it was for a long time. I would be so like,

833
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,479
Speaker 2: I deserve something every day for yeah, ever four years

834
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 2: and two months.

835
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you picked this guy, I get to take you picked.

836
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,919
Speaker 2: Him a plate full of shaving cream and like throw

837
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 2: it at your face like a clown every day for

838
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 2: four years because of the time and energy you've amy waste. Yeah,

839
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 2: they told me I need to get to know him,

840
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 2: and once I'm sure about him, then I can initiate

841
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: the immigration process. But how do I get to know him?

842
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: And how can we resolve all the issues we've gone

843
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: through already?

844
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 3: You shouldn't and there's an update. Divorce him, that's my advice.

845
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 3: Divorce him. Your parents already said they would support you.

846
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 3: Divorce him.

847
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 2: Yep, test their word, all right, then I want to divorce.

848
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 2: They're like, well, no, no, no, we don't mean we'll

849
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 2: support you right now. We'll support you if you like,

850
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 2: take even more time and get him immigrations DATUS papers

851
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 2: and like get him into the country and get to

852
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 2: know him more, and then once you still don't like him,

853
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:37,760
Speaker 2: then we'll.

854
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 3: Let you get divorced.

855
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 2: No. No, it's a fun fact. You actually don't need

856
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 2: your parents to get divorced.

857
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: Nope, you can do it all by yourself.

858
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 2: Update. My husband and I have been together for approximately

859
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 2: seven months now, no long distance for five months with

860
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 2: an eleven hour time difference. We were together in person

861
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 2: for less than two months in his home country while

862
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 2: I was on vacation. While we were in his country,

863
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 2: he was perfectly sweet and funny, but once I returned

864
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: to Canada, our relationship became strained, which is understandable given

865
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: the distance.

866
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 3: We're still here? Why are we still here?

867
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 2: Wow?

868
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: Leave your husband? Leave him.

869
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: You're turning me into sad warrior.

870
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:18,240
Speaker 3: Ope.

871
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 5: Wow, that's more like Jennifer Coolidge.

872
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 2: Wow.

873
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 3: Wow, Why I'm Jennifer Cooler.

874
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: Why are we doing this?

875
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: Why are we doing this?

876
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,240
Speaker 6: What are you doing?

877
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Divorce him. I'm currently a full time

878
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: student with a job in my final year before applying

879
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 2: for medical school, a goal I've worked towards for as

880
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 2: long as I've been in school. I'm incredibly close to

881
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 2: achieving it with a perfect GPA and great resume, making

882
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 2: this last year crucial. I told him explicitly that there

883
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 2: might be days I just couldn't talk to him, and

884
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: that didn't mean I liked him any less. He said

885
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 2: he understood that was lie. Meanwhile, he's in his final

886
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: semester of undergrad after failing and retaking two courses, and

887
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: doesn't have a job. Initially I called him every night

888
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 2: before I went to sleep, but as my workload increased,

889
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 2: I worked later and called later. Sometimes I was too

890
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 2: tired to call, especially during midterms and finals. I'd communicate

891
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 2: this via text. He'd say it was no problem, but

892
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: then when we talked he'd be extremely passive, aggressive, and

893
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: sometimes verbally attack me over it. He'd criticize my timing,

894
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 2: saying I called during his busy period and that he

895
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 2: set aside work to talk to me, even though he

896
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 2: refused to elaborate on what work he had considering. He

897
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 2: admitted to never attending class and only showing up for exams.

898
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: You with him are working tirelessly to become a doctor,

899
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: and this guy is shirking his classes, drinking Mountain Do

900
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 2: all day.

901
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 3: What are you playing?

902
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 2: Halo three?

903
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:55,439
Speaker 4: WHOA?

904
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 6: Hey?

905
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 2: Reasonable? But he got a very contrary to the way

906
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:00,919
Speaker 2: you would like to live your life.

907
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,399
Speaker 3: You're focused on your school or your career on time

908
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 3: for this guy.

909
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 2: He'd attack me for only wanting to talk for an

910
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 2: hour instead.

911
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 3: Of three or four or four hours on the phone.

912
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 3: Sweetie pie, Oh, while you are doing full time work.

913
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 2: I'm not made out of free time.

914
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 3: Oh mad of blood, speat in tears, and this work

915
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 3: I gotta do to be a doctor. God, dang it,

916
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 3: gotta be a doctor.

917
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 2: Which would mean going to bed at four am and

918
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 2: waking up at seven am. I understand relationships require compromise,

919
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 2: but he won't acknowledge that I'm trying my best. I

920
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 2: feel he could afford to be more flexible given his

921
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: responsibilities compared to mine at this stage in our lives.

922
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 2: He doesn't speak English, while I'm proficient in his language,

923
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 2: so that's how we communicate to keep in touch. On

924
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 2: days I couldn't call, I'd try to text him, but

925
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 2: he'd always reply with non conductive responses like oh and cool.

926
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,760
Speaker 2: So I stopped initiating text conversations. But then he'd attack

927
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 2: me after periods of silence when I was busy, saying

928
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 2: I don't try to contact him at all. I've pointed

929
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: out how he doesn't make it easy to communicate that way,

930
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: making it feel like a waste of time. But he

931
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 2: refuses to see it go the way I would just

932
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 2: freaking block this guy on everything and move on with

933
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 2: my life. Divorce, divorce I would have if I'm in

934
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 2: medical school, lose to my mind. I'm not letting anyone

935
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 2: keep me up un till four in the morning.

936
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 3: Also, Kim Robertson's three or four hours was typical for

937
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 3: us O jeez, to be clear, we're saying it's insane

938
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 3: for him to demand three or four hours.

939
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 2: When she's in medical school like final year, crunchy or

940
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: everything needs.

941
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 3: To she doesn't have time. Yeah, and he's expecting three

942
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 3: or four hours.

943
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: I talked to my girlfriend like four hours yesterday.

944
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 3: It was lovely.

945
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 2: That's not what it's about. That's not what it's about about.

946
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 2: The overarching context, he makes it clear he doesn't like

947
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 2: anyone in my family, which hurts deeply because my parents

948
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: loved him and treated him like their own son. It's

949
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 2: really important to me that he and my family get along.

950
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 2: He thinks my family acts too rich and that we

951
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 2: look down on him for being poor. He thinks I

952
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 2: put too much emphasis on him getting along with my

953
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 2: family and then I should just be happy he likes me.

954
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: We had a huge blowout in October where he essentially

955
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 2: insulted me in my entire family. He was so angry

956
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 2: and loud that I could put the phone on my

957
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 2: desk walk away and still hear him from the year piece.

958
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: I was honestly terrified and refused to pick up his

959
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 2: calls for two days. He called non stop every five

960
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: minutes for two days to apologize, even though I asked

961
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 2: for space, so I had to shut down my phone

962
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: to get away and think. He did apologize, saying he

963
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: was completely wrong, but months later he brings up the

964
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: same thing, claiming he was perfectly right and his only

965
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: mistake was being a bit loud.

966
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 3: Divorce him, please, I would.

967
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 2: Like this full name, and that's why I can just

968
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 2: shake him and go.

969
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 3: Ah, divorce him.

970
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 2: He tends to do this free During our weekly fights.

971
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 2: He brings up things I said in the past and

972
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 2: twists my words. Once he cursed me out, and when

973
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 2: I called him on it, he said, oh, you didn't

974
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 2: mean it that way. I was cursing you out in

975
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: the good way, babe.

976
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 3: I know you love it when I do that.

977
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I thought you liked it. What Sorry, sorry,

978
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 2: I thought you liked it. I hate you. He claimed

979
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 2: he said a bad word in his language, then tried

980
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: to cover it up by saying he meant hair in

981
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 2: a different related language. It was ridiculous because his sentence

982
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,720
Speaker 2: was essentially I don't effing care, and then he claimed

983
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: he said a hair in the middle of the sentence

984
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 2: in a language I don't speak, instead of effing in

985
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: the language we always converse in.

986
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 6: Op.

987
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 2: You weren't born yesterday?

988
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 3: Lying to you so blatantly.

989
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 2: Do they let people who were born yesterday become doctors? No,

990
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 2: So you know that he's lying to you.

991
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 3: You know he's a liar.

992
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 2: I dread talking to him because he doesn't try to

993
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,959
Speaker 2: carry conversations and expects me to come up with something.

994
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 2: I try to remember important details in his life, like

995
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 2: his close friends and what they do, and I tell

996
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 2: him about my own life, but he never asks insightful

997
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: questions that indicate he cares for what's happening in my life.

998
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 2: For example, I told him I'm involved with my academic

999
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 2: union and we're planning an event I'm super stressed about.

1000
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 2: I'll tell him when it is and everything, but he

1001
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 2: never remembers to ask about it unless I specifically message

1002
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 2: him saying I can't call today I'm busy with this event.

1003
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 2: Then he gets upset when I go silent during our

1004
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: calls because I can't think of what to say next.

1005
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: He's also been extremely pushy about sending him intimate photos

1006
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: and engaging in phone spiciness. I did it once, but

1007
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 2: felt so uncomfortable that I didn't want to do it anymore.

1008
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 2: Now he gets upset since I did it once, so

1009
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,919
Speaker 2: he thinks it's because I don't like him anymore, which

1010
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: you shouldn't. No, you should not like this man. He

1011
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: is very unlikable.

1012
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 3: I think you like him now. I don't think you've

1013
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: ever liked him, seeing any evidence that you ever really

1014
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 3: liked him. Just kind of tolerated him for a time.

1015
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: Then he goes off on me for being frigid. There's

1016
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 2: another relevant update, and by that I mean there's a

1017
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 2: little bit more story.

1018
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 3: Divorce him. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it.

1019
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 2: Final offer. Divorces man and live a beautiful life, becoming

1020
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 2: a doctor, which is your dream, coming your dream, be

1021
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 2: a rich doctor, and just like let your parents support.

1022
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 2: You see if your parents are even telling the truth.

1023
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, test them divorces, man.

1024
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 2: And see how stinky they get. Hopefully it's zero percent.

1025
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: Hopefully no stink.

1026
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 2: So we had another misunderstanding recently. I think your whole

1027
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:36,280
Speaker 2: marriage is a misunderstanding.

1028
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

1029
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 2: Here.

1030
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

1031
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1032
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: I didn't call it for two days because I was busy.

1033
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 2: He called me at work several times, and when I

1034
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 2: called him back after work, we had a brief, tense conversation.

1035
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 2: I ask for some space, but he continues calling frequently

1036
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 2: and sending messages about seeing me active on social media.

1037
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 2: It's making me feel stressed about using my phone normally

1038
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: on the days we aren't fighting. However, he's honestly really

1039
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 2: sweet and supportive.

1040
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 5: Oh stop, stop stop.

1041
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 2: Plenty of men who are sweet and supportive and also

1042
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 2: aren't the worst guy ever.

1043
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 3: Please come on, girl, come on.

1044
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 5: Don't let common decency get in the way.

1045
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't let him be nice one day a week,

1046
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 3: one day every month.

1047
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 5: He's nice once in a blue moon. That makes him good.

1048
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no, But the bad days are

1049
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 2: making me think twice, Make it thrice, four times, five times,

1050
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: think one hundred million.

1051
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:39,760
Speaker 5: Times, don't think twice.

1052
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: I guess my question is are we doomed? Or am

1053
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 2: I overreacting? Is this normal? Are you do y'all? Shoot?

1054
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 3: You are doomed. You aren't doomed.

1055
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 2: Your relationship is due, your relationship done.

1056
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 3: Cast it into the fire, into the fire, and then

1057
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 3: go be a doctor. Thrive girl, fries.

1058
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 2: Are you over acting? You're actually unreacting, severely underreacting and reacting.

1059
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 2: Is this normal, unfortunately for some people. Yes, but it

1060
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: doesn't have to be normal for you.

1061
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,320
Speaker 3: Let's not make it.

1062
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 2: You don't have to normalize being in a terrible relationship

1063
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 2: with somebody.

1064
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 3: There's so many other better ones, so many other better ones.

1065
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 3: Let's find a better one.

1066
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be your normal, that's for sure.

1067
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 3: I agreed. But that's the end of that story.

1068
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 2: That is the end of that story.

1069
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 6: I was almost trapped in an arranged marriage.

1070
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 3: Get out.

1071
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 6: I grew up in a cult. I believed, among other things,

1072
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 6: that women were property of men and children were property

1073
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 6: of the parents. So as an unmarried daughter, I was

1074
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 6: basically a cherished slave. Oh, by the way, this comes from.

1075
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 6: I know this name is taken, and if you want

1076
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 6: to speke your own stories, go to the r slash

1077
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 6: okay storytime subreddit.

1078
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and I'm Keon, and we're here

1079
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 2: to give good advice.

1080
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 6: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only

1081
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 6: know what we do. So let us know what you

1082
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 6: know in the comments down below. Oh, he continues, I

1083
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 6: ran the house, meal planned, cooked, and even homeschooled my

1084
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 6: youngest siblings, all while trying to homeschool myself through high school.

1085
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, oh p a lot of work for you,

1086
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 6: Holy count I haven't grown up my whole life this way.

1087
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 6: I didn't even know the law would have been on

1088
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 6: my side if I had decided to defy my parents

1089
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 6: and move out. When I turned eighteen. My parents constantly

1090
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 6: reminded me that until they gave me away to a husband,

1091
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 6: I was their child and would obey them as the

1092
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,720
Speaker 6: mouthpieces of God in my life. One day, my parents

1093
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 6: told me they had received a phone call from another family.

1094
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 6: We knew their oldest son had noticed me and wanted

1095
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 6: permission to court me.

1096
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 3: He's like I noticed her from around the farm.

1097
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 6: She was shoveling on cold I.

1098
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 3: Don't know, they probably have a farm.

1099
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 6: She was shoveling that, and I was like, I wanted her.

1100
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 3: I knew then that I wanted her.

1101
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 6: So per protocol, the parents would talk to each other

1102
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 6: and then talk to their kids and arrange the whole thing.

1103
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 6: My mom was beaming with pride, but I thought about

1104
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 6: it and said I didn't want to do it. Mom smiled, disappeared,

1105
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 6: and she cried, what why. I gave her my reasons,

1106
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 6: very good ones. I thought. My mom wasn't satisfied and

1107
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 6: told me I was not allowing God to work in

1108
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 6: my life and that I should just obey them and

1109
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 6: trust that God's will would be done.

1110
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 2: God's will, is it?

1111
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 6: Remember the Kingdom of Heaven?

1112
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 2: Being the good girl I was.

1113
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,959
Speaker 6: I relented and said, yes, dude, just sorry, real quick.

1114
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 2: Ah, this is not what God's purpose is for you.

1115
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 6: And these people are using religion to keep you into

1116
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 6: their cult and it is just such a sad thing.

1117
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,720
Speaker 6: And I'm sorry op that she is eighteen.

1118
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:44,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard, it's going to be really hard.

1119
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 4: But I do think that like breaking away from your

1120
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 4: parents and this, you know, upbringing in this community. It

1121
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 4: will probably be the best thing for you crazy people.

1122
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 6: Then followed awkward family gatherings between our two houses because

1123
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 6: this version of court never allowed for the couple to

1124
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 6: be long together. I tried to ease attention by telling

1125
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 6: funny stories and encouraging other family members to talk, but

1126
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 6: only received stern rebukes from his mother, who very clearly

1127
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 6: did not approve of me. I love how you were

1128
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,879
Speaker 6: trying to make light of a situation. No one's following along.

1129
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 6: It just shows how messed up the system is. How

1130
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 6: about that dog that jumped over the cat the other day?

1131
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 6: Huh yeah, and they're like, no, you're marrying that boy.

1132
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: Uh.

1133
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 6: Once she said, we don't believe in practical jokes, so

1134
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 6: we are not impressed by that that story.

1135
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 3: We don't like jokes or laughter. But next try again.

1136
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 6: Another time, she stated, I only had two requirements for

1137
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 6: the girl he chose. First she came from a good family,

1138
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:49,320
Speaker 6: and second.

1139
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 3: That she never made a practical joke, that she knew

1140
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 3: her Bible close.

1141
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 6: And you have both of those, So I'm not going

1142
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 6: to say anything.

1143
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 3: Seems like you already said something.

1144
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 6: I was confused that so rejected when I didn't even

1145
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 6: want this in the first place. When I got the

1146
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 6: job offer as a church receptionist, my parents told me

1147
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 6: his parents had called and said they did not approve

1148
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 6: of women working outside the home and didn't want me

1149
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 6: to take the job.

1150
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 3: Dang, but she's working for the church much any job

1151
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 3: you can't win.

1152
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 2: Girl.

1153
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 6: We believe the same way, except it was after the

1154
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 6: woman was the mother, before she had kids. It was

1155
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 6: up to her father or husband whether she could work.

1156
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 6: Since my father allowed it, but the guy I was

1157
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 6: courting didn't. My parents told me call him get his

1158
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 6: permission too. That's funny because according to these rules, yeah,

1159
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 6: don't you have to be married to them first?

1160
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, according to these rules, it was the dad who

1161
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 3: still has the final say. So what's going on now?

1162
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,919
Speaker 2: If you're in a cult, don't pick and choose the rules.

1163
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 3: Keep them keep yeah, stop being hypocritical.

1164
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 6: At least have some decency to keep it.

1165
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,280
Speaker 3: May have the same set of rules.

1166
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 2: Ah.

1167
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 5: That's my favorite thing about cults. When the leader wants

1168
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 5: to do that, they can do whatever they want. It's

1169
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,280
Speaker 5: like a board game that they may up their own rules.

1170
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 6: Nita Nelson says, I don't think they read the regular

1171
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 6: Bible in that cult, I don't think so, probably not.

1172
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 6: I thought that phone call went well. He basically said

1173
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 6: he was not my husband yet and I should follow

1174
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 6: my own family rules.

1175
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 4: Okay, perfect, At least he's on the same page. He's

1176
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 4: like I thought the cult rules was that your dad

1177
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 4: took care of everything.

1178
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm not your husband.

1179
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 6: So I happily accepted the job. The next day, my

1180
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 6: parents told me his parents had called and canceled the

1181
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,239
Speaker 6: whole relationship.

1182
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 3: Oh no, bummer, that's a say.

1183
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 6: It felt weird to get dumped without ever hearing from

1184
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 6: the guy that dumped me, But it solved my problem

1185
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 6: and I moved on in focus and definitely not in

1186
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 6: the mood for anyone else to court me. Two years later,

1187
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:47,359
Speaker 6: at nineteen, I still wasn't married, and his family thought

1188
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 6: that meant God was saving me for him. The whole

1189
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 6: scenario repeated itself, but this time my dad insisted that

1190
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 6: the guy caught him first so he could decide if

1191
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 6: he was even good enough for me, for my heart

1192
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 6: got broken again? What does that mean?

1193
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,319
Speaker 3: No, Dad, where it comes in like a parason. He goes, oh, wow,

1194
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 3: you're sir, Are you going to open the door for me? Wow?

1195
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1196
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 6: What does that mean? I don't know the dad, court

1197
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 6: and the dude.

1198
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:15,839
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means.

1199
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 6: What my dad told him until he made a decision

1200
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 6: he did not want any of them to contact me.

1201
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:25,240
Speaker 6: The guy decided no contact, could it possibly mean letters?

1202
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 6: So he wrote me five page apology for tolping me

1203
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 6: two years before, confessing that he had been falling in

1204
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 6: love with me and wanted to know if it was

1205
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 6: worth this time to get even know my dad. That's

1206
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 6: kind of sweet, that's nice.

1207
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 3: Did you ever have a conversation with him besides the

1208
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 3: one time you were like.

1209
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 2: Can I work?

1210
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 6: And he was like, yeah, I guess so with me,

1211
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 6: my parents confiscated a letter and explained the whole thing.

1212
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 6: I was honestly insulted that a guy I had barely

1213
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 6: seen in two years would say he loved me, but

1214
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 6: doubt if it was even worth this time to follow

1215
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 6: my family's requirements to court me, especially after his family

1216
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,760
Speaker 6: made me feel like trash the last time we agreed

1217
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 6: to meet at a local restaurant to decide if we

1218
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 6: would even want to try it again. I sat on

1219
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:10,399
Speaker 6: one side of the table with my parents on either

1220
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 6: side of me. He said on the other side, with

1221
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 6: his parents on either side of him, it felt like

1222
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 6: we had lawyers. His dad immediately started yelling at my

1223
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 6: dad for denying his son and saying it was so

1224
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 6: obvious that I wanted this, that he was holding me back.

1225
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 6: My dad is a quiet man, and he sat there

1226
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 6: like an angry stone while this man yelled in his face.

1227
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,879
Speaker 6: In the middle of the restaurant. Mattress was like Chili's, Yeah,

1228
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 6: you got this, like little Colt family yelling at each other,

1229
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 6: and Chili's workers like, so you guys want that, let

1230
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 6: me have a special you guys down for the unlimited

1231
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 6: marks or not. So people were asking what kind of

1232
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,919
Speaker 6: cult this is? We don't know, just a cold cult, clt,

1233
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 6: a Christian cult. Not sure. It got so heated and embarrassing.

1234
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 6: The guy who liked me excuse herself to the bathroom

1235
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 6: to throw up.

1236
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 3: Oh dang, he says, so sorry, I need to throw up.

1237
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 6: I gotta go at the web because he probably thinks

1238
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 6: this is his wife and he's so much stress and

1239
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:04,839
Speaker 6: everything's going wrong. So he's like, yeah, got sick. Well

1240
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,839
Speaker 6: he's gone. His dad said, if we didn't accept the son,

1241
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 6: there might never be another guy to come along and

1242
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,360
Speaker 6: marry me. It's made me laugh because I wasn't that

1243
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,760
Speaker 6: desperate to just accept the first guy to ask, because

1244
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 6: I was scared no one else would. I didn't care

1245
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 6: if I ever got married or not. Even though I

1246
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 6: didn't dare tell anyone that the evening ended with an

1247
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 6: agreement that we would pick up where we left off.

1248
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 6: We thought that meant more courtship. They thought they already

1249
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 6: did courtship, so now it was an agreement to get engaged.

1250
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 4: Oh okay, all right, then, I guess it's what your

1251
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 4: parents want is working out, okay, or what their parents want.

1252
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 3: I don't know what's going on here.

1253
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 2: He's Joanie og host here. We're gonna get back to

1254
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 2: the stories, but he's a quick three minute break of

1255
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: ask from our sponsors.

1256
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 6: The mistake quickly revealed itself a few days later, when

1257
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 6: another guy friend emailed my dad and asked permission to

1258
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 6: court me. My dad told me I should tell the

1259
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 6: first guy and ask if I could stay friends with

1260
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 6: someone who liked me but who I had rejected. The

1261
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 6: first guy came up with what I thought was a

1262
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 6: good plan. My dad would tell me the new guy

1263
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 6: that I was already courting someone else. Then I could

1264
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 6: introduce him to some of my other friends and maybe

1265
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 6: he would leave on his own. My dad spent the

1266
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 6: evening riding a tackle. Reply to the new.

1267
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 2: Guy, what is this?

1268
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 4: I'm so confused because okay, so you didn't want to

1269
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 4: marry this guy, but now you're kind of cool with it,

1270
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 4: and you're marrying this guy. And also his family's like,

1271
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 4: no one else is ever going to marry you. Another

1272
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 4: guy shows up is like, hey, I want to marry you,

1273
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 4: and then you're like, oh, what do I do?

1274
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 3: Well? I can't tell him no outright, so we have

1275
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 3: to come up with a plan.

1276
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 6: And the guy that you're about to marry is helping

1277
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 6: you create a plan, Like what just say not interested?

1278
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 3: Or I'm about to marry this other guy? Sorry, I'm

1279
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 3: in a relationship. What is going on? Who are these people?

1280
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:55,920
Speaker 6: Oh? Here we go, here we go. But now the

1281
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 6: first guy was aware that I had friends who were

1282
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 6: not female. Their family believe guy and girls should never

1283
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 6: be just friends, so I was essentially cheating on him

1284
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 6: with twenty other guys. He called me the next morning,

1285
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 6: six days after I had agreed to his courtship, and

1286
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 6: asked my permission to ask my dad's permission to ask

1287
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 6: me to marry him.

1288
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 3: This is ridiculous. There's too many middleman on this.

1289
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 6: Basically the lamest over the phone proposal ever. He said

1290
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 6: he was in love with me and we didn't have

1291
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 6: to get married right away, but that I would just

1292
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 6: be his and have a ring on my finger so

1293
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 6: no one could take me away from him. I told

1294
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 6: him I was flattered that he thought he loved me,

1295
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 6: and I wish I could say I loved him back,

1296
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 6: but I didn't. It'd only been six days, and I

1297
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 6: hadn't even decided how I felt about him.

1298
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 3: Six days after two years of not talking to you.

1299
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 6: He likes the idea of you, I hope, and you

1300
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 6: were doing the smart thing and you've realized you don't

1301
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 6: like him, not the idea of him. His voice changed instantly,

1302
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 6: and he angrily snapped, asking if I was still talking

1303
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 6: to the other guy who also liked me. I was shocked.

1304
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 6: I never s I've seen this sight of him before.

1305
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 6: That's why it should take longer than six days to

1306
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 6: find his spouse kids.

1307
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, but Riley, what if I'm in a cult.

1308
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 4: But Riley, have you thought about meeting in the cult,

1309
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 4: take a little more time, and get out of this cult.

1310
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: Please.

1311
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 5: I would get out of this cult first.

1312
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, First, get out of the cult.

1313
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 6: Then break up with the guy. Yeah.

1314
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1315
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 6: I tried telling him that my dad had only just

1316
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 6: replied to his email and I hadn't had a chance

1317
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 6: to induce him to my friends. Yet insisted that wasn't

1318
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 6: the planned we had claimed we had agreed, and I

1319
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,400
Speaker 6: wouldn't talk to him anymore. I shut him down and

1320
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 6: told him I was only doing what he had told

1321
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 6: me to do. We weren't engaged yet, and I talked

1322
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 6: to lots of guys without it meaning anything romantic because

1323
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 6: we were just friends. His voice quiet down, but still

1324
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 6: sounded bitter as he said that if I couldn't agree

1325
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 6: to not talk to any other boys and only talk

1326
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 6: to him, maybe we shouldn't call this courting right now.

1327
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 6: I agreed that maybe we shouldn't. We agreed that I

1328
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 6: would take a week to think about it and call

1329
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 6: him when I've made my decision, marry him and forsake

1330
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 6: all the male friends I had known since I was five,

1331
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 6: or cut off the relationship for a second time. I

1332
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 6: tell my parents what happened, and they tried to convince

1333
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 6: me just do what he wanted, but I finally yelled

1334
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 6: at them for the first time in my life, that

1335
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 6: I was not going to go marry anyone I did

1336
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 6: not love good.

1337
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 3: Tell him, finally tell him.

1338
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 6: My dad was angry, but Mom sent me to my

1339
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 6: room and said we could talk about it later. I

1340
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 6: had a week after all.

1341
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:33,439
Speaker 5: I was very sad.

1342
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 6: The only reason I was considering it was because my

1343
01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 6: parents insisted that it was God's will and I really

1344
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 6: wanted to do what God said. At the same time,

1345
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 6: this family seemed even more strict than my own, and

1346
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 6: I would miss all my old friends.

1347
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 3: Earl, Get out of there.

1348
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 6: This is not what God wants for you.

1349
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 3: Your parents don't know anything about God. Get out of there.

1350
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 6: They only know it from the middle man that's talking

1351
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:58,919
Speaker 6: to them about God, the cult leader. About an hour later,

1352
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 6: I got two calls from the guy's mother, which I

1353
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 6: let go her voice mail. Next thing I know, my

1354
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 6: little brother came up holding the house phone, saying it

1355
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 6: was the guy's mom and she demanded to talk to me.

1356
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 6: She scolded me for a long time, saying I had

1357
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 6: cheated on her son and that he had called off

1358
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 6: work because he was worried sick over asking me to

1359
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 6: marry him. She all but called me a harlot because

1360
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 6: of all the guys I was talking to. While I

1361
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:26,880
Speaker 6: tried to tell her I was not in a relationship

1362
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 6: with any of them, she accused me of cheating on

1363
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 6: him and claimed I was in a relationship with every

1364
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 6: person I met.

1365
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 3: That's just pretty difficult time wise to manage.

1366
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 6: I don't think you're really thinking about how that report counts. Yeah.

1367
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 6: I try to explain that not every relationship is a

1368
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,760
Speaker 6: romantic one, but she insisted that between guys and girls

1369
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 6: always were used her marriage as an example, saying her

1370
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,920
Speaker 6: husband was her best friend and that she would never

1371
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,920
Speaker 6: talk to other men and neither would my mom. I

1372
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 6: told her that wasn't true, because my mom talked to

1373
01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 6: other men all the time and was friends with lots

1374
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 6: of people. She said she was shocked and honestly thought

1375
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 6: better of my mother than that. He didn't demand it

1376
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 6: to know why I needed seven days to pray about

1377
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 6: whether or not to marry or son. She claimed God

1378
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 6: doesn't take that long to answer prayer and that it

1379
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 6: sounded like I already knew how I felt, but was

1380
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 6: just too scared to say it, and God does take

1381
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:21,840
Speaker 6: longer to answer prayers he does Jacob and Rachel, Oh my,

1382
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 6: this woman doesn't read a Bible.

1383
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 3: I think they probably have their own Bible. I'm sorry

1384
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 3: they got their own version.

1385
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:30,439
Speaker 4: These people are gonna say whatever they want to try

1386
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 4: and keep you under their control.

1387
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:34,000
Speaker 3: That's kind of the whole point.

1388
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 6: And op, if you know your Bible so well, if

1389
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 6: you have the right Bible, tell them about the relationship

1390
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 6: between Jacob and Rachel. Jacob worked seven years for his

1391
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 6: wife and they got married to Rachel's sister, and then

1392
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 6: he worked another seven years for his wife. Rachel kind

1393
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 6: of funny. I was actually kind of traumatic. Okay, So

1394
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 6: she insisted it would take a day or two at

1395
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:53,439
Speaker 6: the most.

1396
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 7: No, it wouldn't. I told her that her son had

1397
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 7: agreed to let me have a week, and if he

1398
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,959
Speaker 7: couldn't do that, then the answer was non. He said

1399
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 7: we shouldn't be too hasty. I thought, who's being hasty?

1400
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 7: I wanted a weak He then told me to go

1401
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 7: talk to her son and her husband to see what

1402
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 7: they wanted to do. I hung up the phone and

1403
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 7: threw it across the room. I'd never been accused of

1404
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 7: anything like that before.

1405
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,440
Speaker 6: I curled up in her ball and cried. When my

1406
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 6: mother heard me and came to see what was wrong,

1407
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 6: I told her everything that horrible woman said to me,

1408
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 6: I stated firmly, but I never wanted to see anyone

1409
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,480
Speaker 6: from that family again. She called my dad up, and

1410
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 6: he was angry about me being accused of being a harlot,

1411
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 6: but told me I was not allowed to make my

1412
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 6: decision until the week was up, because that was what

1413
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:38,080
Speaker 6: I'd agreed to. I just silently told myself they could

1414
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 6: all think what they wanted, but I knew my answer

1415
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,680
Speaker 6: was no, and it would still be no in a

1416
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 6: week from now.

1417
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 5: Wow, I want Riley to infiltrate a cult.

1418
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 6: Dude. I would pick that thing apart so fast, and

1419
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 6: then they would kick you out of the colt. They'd

1420
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 6: be like, this guy knows too much. Not after I say,

1421
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 6: of all the children, yeah, you take me and women,

1422
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 6: all the men to themselves.

1423
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 4: Maybe the good guys that actually like yeah, they're like, wait,

1424
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:05,160
Speaker 4: you're actually making some sense there.

1425
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, this guy's spitting facts.

1426
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,600
Speaker 4: Oh it really doesn't feel like op. I mean, she's young,

1427
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 4: but again she doesn't seem to see that she's in

1428
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 4: a bad situation. She's just kind of focusing on I'm

1429
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 4: gonna get married to this guy I don't love.

1430
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 6: I think in this story she knows she's in a cult,

1431
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 6: but she's just telling from her perspective of that, Yeah,

1432
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,960
Speaker 6: how ridiculous it is. And like, if your parents loved you,

1433
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 6: they wouldn't want you to be a part of this family,

1434
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:30,200
Speaker 6: because like that's just crazy, because like I don't know,

1435
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 6: if they raise you a certain way, they wouldn't want

1436
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 6: you to be with people that like are just so hateful.

1437
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, different, all right, so hope, he continues. He

1438
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 6: called the family back and told them none of them

1439
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 6: were to contact me in any way for the whole week,

1440
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,800
Speaker 6: and when I had my decision, he would call them

1441
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 6: and let them know what it was. They were angry,

1442
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 6: but they never contacted me again. Almost two years later,

1443
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:54,600
Speaker 6: I married the new guy who had email my dad

1444
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 6: remember him. He was not a member of our cult,

1445
01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 6: and he taught me how to think for myself. Nice

1446
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:02,920
Speaker 6: worship looked like a lot more like dating than anything,

1447
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 6: and made a lot of people upset, but we didn't care.

1448
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 6: We just celebrated our tenth anniversary and we have three sons.

1449
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 6: I feel like I was rescued.

1450
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 3: Okay, wow, nice you got it there, happy ending.

1451
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:15,600
Speaker 2: Wow.

1452
01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 6: Imagine if that email with spam Yeah, man, but God

1453
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:23,440
Speaker 6: allowed that email. Yeah hit the inbox, but God allowed

1454
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:24,240
Speaker 6: it to hit the inbox.

1455
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 3: I'm glad it all worked out for EP.

1456
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 6: Holy cow, dude, nothing gets under my skin more than

1457
01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:32,240
Speaker 6: Christian Colts. I'll tell you that that. I could go

1458
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:34,520
Speaker 6: into pulp it right now and just like, just go.

1459
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:36,040
Speaker 3: At it, go at him.

1460
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 6: Gosh.

1461
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story and the end

1462
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 3: of this episode. So if you love us, wait what

1463
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 3: I read. Yeah, I was waiting and then you didn't

1464
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:45,000
Speaker 3: say anything.

1465
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 6: I read other things to say. So that's the end

1466
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:50,040
Speaker 6: of that episode. And if you love us, make sure

1467
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 6: to subscribe.

1468
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.