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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space.

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Speaker 3: In order to heal it, you got to first see it.

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Speaker 3: And so, what's the stuff that's been a part of you,

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Speaker 3: but that's not really you? What are the aspects of

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Speaker 3: you that are a reaction to how you were raised,

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Speaker 3: what you lived through, what your mother and father lived through.

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Speaker 3: What are the realities of being a descendant?

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Speaker 4: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 4: like you. We're your hosts Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college

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Speaker 4: professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just bele Hey, lady, it's Terry here.

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Speaker 2: Before you tune into the episode, I wanted to give

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Speaker 2: you a quick disclaimer to let you know that we

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Speaker 2: faced some very serious technical difficulties as we were recording,

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Speaker 2: but the content is so valuable, so good, that we

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Speaker 2: didn't want to wait to put it out and re record.

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Speaker 2: We really wanted to capture the moment and just share

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Speaker 2: with you all the amazing gems that our guests share today.

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Speaker 3: So bear with us.

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Speaker 2: We know it's not the best audio. It was really

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Speaker 2: out of our control. The Internet was not trying to

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Speaker 2: let us be great. But we'll make sure to get

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Speaker 2: a better episode out to you very soon.

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Speaker 3: Thanks, ladies.

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Speaker 2: Today on the show, we have a very very special guest.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to jump right into her bio and

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Speaker 2: you'll see exactly why. Doctor Tayma Bryant Davis is a

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Speaker 2: licensed psychologist, ordained minister and sacred Artists who has worked

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Speaker 2: nationally and globally to provide relief and empowerment to marginalized peoples.

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Speaker 2: She is an associate professor at Pepperdine University and a

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Speaker 2: past president of the Society for the Psychology of Women.

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Speaker 2: Her contributions to psychological research, policy, and practice have been

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Speaker 2: honored by national and regional psychological associations. Doctor Tama earned

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Speaker 2: her doctorate from Duke University, completed her post doctoral training

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Speaker 2: at Harvard Medical Center, and the past American Psychological Association

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Speaker 2: Representative to the United Nations hashtag black Girl Magic. She

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Speaker 2: served as a mental health media consultant for numerous print, radio,

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Speaker 2: and television media outlets, including but not limited to, The

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Speaker 2: Huffington Post, NPR, CBS, Oxygen, CNN, b E T, TV, one, Lifetime,

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Speaker 2: and WE TV. Welcome to her space, Doctor Tama, thank

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Speaker 2: you so much for having me.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited to be with you all.

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Speaker 4: Yay, and we are so ready to dive into the conversation.

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Speaker 4: We're going to start off with our quote of the day,

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Speaker 4: and naturally, if you lady, if you're listening and you

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Speaker 4: follow doctor Tama on Twitter, you know that every day

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Speaker 4: she has an inspirational tweet that usually comes out of

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Speaker 4: her daily devotionals. So our quote of the day comes

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Speaker 4: from one of those. Do not stop your healing at

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Speaker 4: the level of your leaves. Heal the root, so you

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Speaker 4: don't repeat the pattern. And I'm gonna say that one

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Speaker 4: more time for the people in the back. Do not

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Speaker 4: stop your healing at the level of your leaves. Heal

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Speaker 4: the root so you don't repeat the pattern. Doctor Tama.

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Speaker 4: When I read that quote, what comes up for me

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Speaker 4: is this area that you are well versed in and

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Speaker 4: that you help a lot of people with, and that's

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Speaker 4: intergenerational trauma. Can you talk to us a little bit

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Speaker 4: about what intergenerational trauma is?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, I want to say a little something about the

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Speaker 3: quote and then I'll go into intergenerational trauma. So when

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Speaker 3: we talk about healing the leaves, that often can be

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Speaker 3: superficial healing, surface healing when I change my symptom. But

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Speaker 3: a symptom is only a sign of distress. It's a

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Speaker 3: sign of a soul wound. It is not the wound itself.

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Speaker 3: So what that means is if I am only healing

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Speaker 3: the leaf or the surface, then I may walk away

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Speaker 3: from my food addiction, but I may substitute my food

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Speaker 3: addiction for cigarette. Or I may walk away from one

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Speaker 3: man who is treating me bad, and then I select

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Speaker 3: another man who also treats me badly because I have

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Speaker 3: not addressed the wound, and so healing is not just

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Speaker 3: about symptom substitution. So I don't want to just replace

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Speaker 3: one temporary fix for another. I want to go to

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Speaker 3: the core of my hurt. And my specialty area in

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Speaker 3: psychology is trauma recovery. And many of our traumas we

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Speaker 3: are the direct target. So you may have experienced sexual assault,

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Speaker 3: out of use, intimate partner violence, community violence, medical trauma

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Speaker 3: if you have a particular diagnosis, living through a natural disaster,

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Speaker 3: so you may be the direct recipient of a trauma.

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Speaker 3: But then there is also intergenerational trauma, which is the

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Speaker 3: impact we carry based on the traumas that those who

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Speaker 3: came before us endure. And that may be your recent

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Speaker 3: relatives like your parents or your grandparents, or it can

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Speaker 3: be ancestral. It can be historical where it was generations away,

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Speaker 3: but the impact continues to this day. So the way

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Speaker 3: intergenerational trauma can be transmitted is both physiological and sociological.

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Speaker 3: And what I mean by that is there have been

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Speaker 3: studies done to filly with the sentence of the Holocaust

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Speaker 3: where they look at the genetic transmission of trauma, and

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Speaker 3: they're able to documented. But it is not only what

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Speaker 3: is passed down neurologically, physiologically in my body, but there

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Speaker 3: is also a social impact that is based on the

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Speaker 3: stories I have been told, the stories that have been

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Speaker 3: passed down, whether in history books or in films or

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Speaker 3: by my relatives, and the impact of our awareness of

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Speaker 3: those traumatic events. It is actually also a soul wound.

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Speaker 3: And it would be helpful to know that when we

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Speaker 3: say psychology, the root word psyche is actually soul, and

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Speaker 3: so it is not healing my mind, but healing my

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Speaker 3: very soul. That I am carrying both the strength and

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Speaker 3: the rezon of my four parents, but I am also

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Speaker 3: carrying their pain.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that is so powerful and I'd love to know,

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Speaker 2: doctor Tima. How does intergenerational trauma show up in the

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Speaker 2: therapy room?

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Speaker 3: Certainly so. Some people will start with describing behaviors, but

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Speaker 3: they're not aware of the roots of the behavior, and

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Speaker 3: so we may have intergenerational addiction. Right, So, if I

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Speaker 3: have been raised by parents who struggled with addiction, Often

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Speaker 3: addiction is the way that people are medicating their pain.

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Speaker 3: So a client may come in with the distress or

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Speaker 3: the depression or the resentment of the ways in which

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Speaker 3: their parents were not able to parent them. And so

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Speaker 3: then what we are unpacking is not just what the

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Speaker 3: child old observed, because what they're going to report is

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Speaker 3: at the point of their need and the point of

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Speaker 3: their understanding. But then I am listening for what would

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Speaker 3: have driven your mother to retreat into alcohol, to retreat

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Speaker 3: into crack, to retreat into food addiction. And so sometimes

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Speaker 3: it shows up by the ways in which we were

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Speaker 3: not cared for. Sometimes it shows up in what we

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Speaker 3: have normalized. So when people come in normalizing very destructive

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Speaker 3: relationships or thinking that toxic relationships are the norm, or

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Speaker 3: that that means love. So you didn't just create that, right,

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Speaker 3: You don't just turn thirty five and think that harming

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Speaker 3: me or stalking me or hitting me is the way

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Speaker 3: you show love. Like that idea did not originate with me.

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Speaker 3: So then I I need get from them a relationship history,

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Speaker 3: not just their relationships, but the relationships they saw. And

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Speaker 3: what are the patterns that we see in your geno brand,

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Speaker 3: in your family tree, what are the pieces that stick

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Speaker 3: out generation after generation.

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Speaker 2: That's so interesting because in my personal experience and with friends,

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Speaker 2: I've noticed there are people that may not have grown

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Speaker 2: up with certain loved ones, but they tend to exhibit

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Speaker 2: some of the same characteristics. So I think you just

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Speaker 2: hit that nail on the head, is why that happens. Right,

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Speaker 2: It's like, I didn't see this person struggle with this addiction,

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Speaker 2: but I find myself having that same addiction in my life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so there can be we are predisposed to certain

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Speaker 3: psychological challenges and so it can be both what we

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Speaker 3: bear witness to. But even if you didn't see it,

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Speaker 3: you can carry it. So you know. I was doing

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Speaker 3: a retreat this weekend for women and we were talking

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Speaker 3: about these cultural messages and the stigma about mental health

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Speaker 3: and therapy. And one of the common phrases you will

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Speaker 3: hear in African American communities and families is fix your face.

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Speaker 3: So children are not allowed to look upset. Even if

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Speaker 3: you are upset, the adults don't want to see it.

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Speaker 3: So we tell people mix your face. But we don't

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Speaker 3: say heal your heart because we're not used to the

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Speaker 3: luxury of healing. All we know is we just had

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Speaker 3: to keep pressing forward. So these children need to be

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Speaker 3: super strong and not really because we're not healed. We

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Speaker 3: just stuff it. You stuff it and you don't let

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Speaker 3: people see it. And we have a value, a cultural

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Speaker 3: value of the appearance of strength, that we are not

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Speaker 3: supposed to look weak, we are not supposed to look pressed,

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Speaker 3: we are not supposed to look irritated. And so we

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Speaker 3: learned to wear the mask pem from the Harlem Renaissance.

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Speaker 3: We wear the mask that grins and lies. It hides

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Speaker 3: our teeth and shades our eyes. And so we teach

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Speaker 3: our children not healing but masks. And that is another

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Speaker 3: form of intergenerational.

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Speaker 4: Traubam wow wow. And so when you I heard you

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Speaker 4: mention the word genogram, can you explain to us what

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Speaker 4: the genogram is and how you use it in therapy?

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Speaker 3: Sure? So it is your family tree, and we know,

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Speaker 3: particularly within ethnic minority communities, African American communities, that that

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Speaker 3: tree is not always straightforward, and so we base it

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Speaker 3: not only on biology, but proximity. And so we have

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Speaker 3: a lot of play aunts, We have a lot of

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Speaker 3: play cousins. But if you grew up with them, we

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Speaker 3: call it a fictive ken, right, fictive ken. So incorporating

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Speaker 3: the key people that were in your life and what

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Speaker 3: their relationship is with each other and then we put

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Speaker 3: major attributes with each person and so their age, their

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Speaker 3: relationship or marital status, if they had children, that will

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Speaker 3: have that there major traumas that we are aware that

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Speaker 3: that person experienced, and then something about their relationship to us,

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Speaker 3: what you know, interpersonally, how they treated us or how

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Speaker 3: we saw them, how we felt in their presence.

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Speaker 4: As you were describing that, what I immediately thought about

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Speaker 4: was there are an amazing number of patterns that could

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Speaker 4: be observed just from completing a genogram.

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Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, you will start to see the cycle. Here's

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Speaker 3: the thing, as clients, people often show up to therapy

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Speaker 3: feeling like something's wrong with them and feeling shame and

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Speaker 3: baffled about their own decision making and how they ended up,

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Speaker 3: you know, because you know, were usually not in the

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Speaker 3: place we imagined. Right, We had a vision of where

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Speaker 3: we were going to be at twenty five or thirty

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Speaker 3: thirty five, forty forty five on up. We have a

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Speaker 3: vision of that, and so when my life does not

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Speaker 3: match the vision, we usually look inward and feel like,

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Speaker 3: how how did this happen? What is wrong with me?

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Speaker 3: And so it is to help people unfold their stories.

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Speaker 3: We say from a narrative perspective narrative therapy, because if

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Speaker 3: you tell me enough about your story, then your decisions

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Speaker 3: make sense. That each of us are not as much

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Speaker 3: of a mystery as we think it makes sense. We're

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Speaker 3: living out either in reaction to what we saw, trying

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Speaker 3: desperately eat that, or mirroring the script that was given us.

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Speaker 3: And so that is a part of my healing is

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Speaker 3: figuring out what are the scripts that I was handed

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Speaker 3: that I say that don't fit in my mouth, that

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Speaker 3: don't match the woman I want to be, Because then

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Speaker 3: I have to edit, I have to write a new story,

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Speaker 3: a new narrative, and getting to that place where uh not,

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Speaker 3: I'm okay that not everyone is going to approve of

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Speaker 3: the narrative I choose. I choose now with my life story.

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Speaker 4: Terry and I are sitting here just kind of in awe,

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Speaker 4: and I do this work like I work with students

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Speaker 4: on a college campus, but I don't get to really

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Speaker 4: because our therapy is time limited. I don't have that

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Speaker 4: luxury of diving into all of those narratives, right.

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Speaker 3: And that is absolutely understandable that sometimes we're doing a

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Speaker 3: pece of the work. But even when I have worked

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Speaker 3: at places where it is time limited, I try to

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Speaker 3: give the person a glimpse, a sense of the dynamics

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Speaker 3: and the issues, even if right now we're going to

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Speaker 3: do a piece of the work, because that will also

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Speaker 3: help them not to judge themselves harshly when down the

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Speaker 3: road these other themes rise up because or if not,

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Speaker 3: people will say, well, I thought I worked on myself,

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Speaker 3: or I thought I already did that, Why is this

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Speaker 3: coming up for me now? And so a lot of

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Speaker 3: our triggers are related to our trauma history and the

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Speaker 3: trauma history of those who came before us. So being

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Speaker 3: able to name it for the client and then to

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Speaker 3: say for these eight sessions, this is the piece that

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Speaker 3: we're going to focus on. But all of this is interrelated.

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Speaker 3: And so it's so important to have self compassion, to

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Speaker 3: have patience, and to set an intention that somewhere in

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Speaker 3: my future I will return, if not here, but I

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Speaker 3: will give myself the gift of time and space to

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Speaker 3: do this work. Because what we're doing here.

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Speaker 2: Is a piece that's so powerful. And I think back

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Speaker 2: to a time when I was in therapy and for

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Speaker 2: a whole year, Doctor Tamer, I was in therapy and

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Speaker 2: I was in their front. I was not diving to

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Speaker 2: the things that were really happening in life. I just

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Speaker 2: talked about the surface. But when we did get to

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Speaker 2: some of the things like molestation and things like that,

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Speaker 2: it got hard. Therapy got very challenging, and it got emotional,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't really want to look at that stuff

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Speaker 2: or talk about it. But I knew that I needed

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Speaker 2: to heal or I needed that to heal. Do you

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Speaker 2: notice that there are certain characteristics that someone has when

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Speaker 2: they are ready to heal or in order for them

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Speaker 2: to heal.

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Speaker 3: Yees. So one I'm going to kind of flip it

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Speaker 3: and talk about the role of a therapist. Given that

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Speaker 3: the work is hard, we are to be the light bringers.

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Speaker 3: To do this work, I have to believe in miracles,

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Speaker 3: which means I believe that you have greater capacity than

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Speaker 3: you are currently manifested. If there's no work, we're not

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Speaker 3: going to do any work right. So for us to

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Speaker 3: do the work, it's I'm the hope bringer. Because when

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Speaker 3: people come into treatment, they're wondering, can it get any

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Speaker 3: better than this? And because they have not seen better

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Speaker 3: for themselves personally, they don't truly believe it. And so

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Speaker 3: I carry the hope as the therapist when the person

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Speaker 3: has not yet caught hold of the hope. What it

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Speaker 3: also means is I make predictions and treatment. So when

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Speaker 3: people start going through their narratives, I tell them, right now,

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Speaker 3: you're going to feel some relief because you're saying things

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Speaker 3: you've been carrying for years. But sometime between now and

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Speaker 3: next week, you're going to decide you don't want to come.

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Speaker 3: And when that feeling and thought comes, I want you

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Speaker 3: to be reminded of this moment that I told you

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Speaker 3: that was going to happen, and for you to press

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Speaker 3: through and come anyway. And when you come anyway, I

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Speaker 3: want you to know you are in control and so

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Speaker 3: we don't have to dig every week. So if you

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Speaker 3: come in and say, doctor Tama, last week was happy.

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Speaker 3: This week, I just want to talk about an argument

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Speaker 3: I had with my mother, then you're in control of

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Speaker 3: our process and our pacing, so you don't have to

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Speaker 3: stay away with the belief that if I come there,

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Speaker 3: I surrender control and this person is going to make

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Speaker 3: me do things I'm not ready to do. Right, so

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Speaker 3: we're going to pace it and give you the skills

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Speaker 3: for it. The other really important thing is I'm a

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Speaker 3: joyful person. So when I was working in an office suite,

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Speaker 3: my office made another therapist who's specialty was eating disorders.

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Speaker 3: He said to me one day, you know, I can't

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Speaker 3: believe your specialty is trauma because I always hear a

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Speaker 3: lot of laughter coming out of your office. And I said,

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Speaker 3: of course, Like if it's going to be due and

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Speaker 3: gloom for an hour every week, nobody wants to sign

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Speaker 3: up for that, right. So, and it's not fluff, it's

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Speaker 3: not distraction, but pacing it so that we're unpacking, but

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Speaker 3: then we're also putting rebuilding so that people are not

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Speaker 3: leaving at such a depleted place.

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Speaker 2: That must take a lot of skill and intentionality to

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Speaker 2: bring such joy into a situation like that, So that

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Speaker 2: that's pretty incredible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is about like timing and pacing, because you

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Speaker 3: do want to be careful, like not every moment is

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Speaker 3: a joyful moment, right, But asking questions that get the

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Speaker 3: other part of a person. So for example, I'm a

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Speaker 3: sexual assault survivor, but I would say the trauma affected me,

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Speaker 3: but it does not define me. It is not the

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Speaker 3: sum total of who I am. And so sometimes as

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Speaker 3: clinicians we either ignore and look for the trauma, or

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Speaker 3: we make the mistake of making the trauma. This person's everything,

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Speaker 3: and they have interests and hobbies and a personality, and

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Speaker 3: they have a whole They have a whole being that

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Speaker 3: is not limited to that, although that will affect the

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Speaker 3: other aspects. And so creating space for the whole being

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Speaker 3: that sitting in front of you is a spiritual being,

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Speaker 3: a sexual being, a humorous being, a motivated or driven being.

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Speaker 3: And so I want to create space for the whole

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Speaker 3: person to show up.

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Speaker 2: And there are not many spaces in the world where

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Speaker 2: people can just be their full self, So that is

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Speaker 2: extremely important. And I think about family. A lot of

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Speaker 2: trauma as far as the people that I know in

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Speaker 2: my experience, has happened in family and within family. What

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Speaker 2: do like, how do you navigate those situations whether you

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Speaker 2: have loved ones that have contributed to your trauma, but

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Speaker 2: you still have to interact with them today.

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Speaker 3: Right, So first I would unless the person as a child,

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Speaker 3: I would remove the half you interact and I would

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Speaker 3: give people the liberation of choice even when it's family

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Speaker 3: that you choose if you're an adult, if you're a child,

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Speaker 3: then we have to figure that out. Because if you're

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Speaker 3: not safe, then that's an issue. Right when we talk

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Speaker 3: about healing, there cannot be healing with ongoing trauma. So

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Speaker 3: I work differently. I'm working with a woman who's currently

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Speaker 3: with an abusive partner and it's not safe for her

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Speaker 3: to exit yet, so she's still in it. That's a

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Speaker 3: different kind of work than someone who comes to me

350
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Speaker 3: in the aftermath and they're ready to do the healing

351
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Speaker 3: work because of not wanting to create the cycle in

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Speaker 3: their future. So you know, when the term post traumatic

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Speaker 3: stress disorder was created, it was created for veterans and

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Speaker 3: it was when they came home from battle. So they're

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Speaker 3: no longer on the battlefield. Now we can do the

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Speaker 3: healing of post traumatic stress. So when I'm dealing with

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Speaker 3: a family that is toxic, that is abusive, if you

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Speaker 3: have the uncle who is still grabbing your behind, then

359
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Speaker 3: it's not for us to say now we're at post trauma, right,

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Speaker 3: you are an ongoing trauma. So then we have to

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Speaker 3: make some decisions about the the type of access I

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Speaker 3: want to give people to me because I value my

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Speaker 3: mental health and my safety. So what that may look

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Speaker 3: like is saying, well, I'm still gonna go over there

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Speaker 3: for the brunch or for the holidays, but I don't

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Speaker 3: have to stay all day, or I'm still gonna go visit,

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Speaker 3: but I'm not staying in that house, right or you

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Speaker 3: know I'm going to when I get there. You know,

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Speaker 3: there's always a kid's room. I'm gonna go with the kids,

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Speaker 3: sit at the kids table, I'm gonna I'm gonna go

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Speaker 3: on errands. Who needs errands, I'm gonna go. Every time

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Speaker 3: they need an erran. I'm out of here, so you

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Speaker 3: you know, you get shape what that experience is like.

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Speaker 3: And one of the liberating things for me was recognizing

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Speaker 3: the difference forgiveness and reconciliation. I can forgive someone and

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Speaker 3: still not hang around them, because some people think if

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Speaker 3: I forgive you, I have to act like it didn't

378
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Speaker 3: happen and we have to go back to our prior relationship.

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Speaker 3: But the distinction is I can forgive someone who is

380
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Speaker 3: not sorry, but I can only be reconciled with someone

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Speaker 3: who is authentically, truly repentant and transformed so that I

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Speaker 3: do not continue to be exposed to the trauma. So

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Speaker 3: forgiveness is not pretending it didn't happen. Forgiveness doesn't mean

384
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Speaker 3: we go back to what it was before when there

385
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Speaker 3: is no change in behavior and conversation and attitude. So

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Speaker 3: we have to operate in wisdom. And that doesn't mean

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Speaker 3: you're being mean. It means you are honoring yourself health

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Speaker 3: and honoring the truth and not lying to yourself about

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Speaker 3: the reality. Here's the thing with family is often we

390
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Speaker 3: act shock when people continue to be themselves. So you

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Speaker 3: know the people in your family who are out of order,

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Speaker 3: and every time they see you, they're going to say

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Speaker 3: something left field. So for me to get myself worked

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Speaker 3: up every year when you do the same thing is

395
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Speaker 3: problematic for me. So I make a decision. It's not

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Speaker 3: that I make the behavior acceptable, but I'm no longer

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Speaker 3: going to be surprised by someone showing up as themselves.

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Speaker 4: There's just so much there. But one of the things

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Speaker 4: that I want to talk about you mentioned like boundary

400
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Speaker 4: setting and caring for self. As a therapist, sometimes we

401
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Speaker 4: can experience y carriers trauma. So how do you prevent

402
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Speaker 4: by carriers trauma? Or if it comes up for you,

403
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Speaker 4: how do you respond? How do you care for yourself?

404
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 3: Sure so self care for clinicians or for anyone who

405
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Speaker 3: is a caretaker or a nurse, doctor, school teacher, minister.

406
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Speaker 3: Cannot just be in the aftermath of extending yourself. It

407
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 3: needs to be before. So in the mornings, I have

408
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Speaker 3: rituals or devotions to fill my cup up so when

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Speaker 3: I enter the office, I am not starting with an

410
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Speaker 3: empty cup. And when clinicians are starting with an empty cup,

411
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 3: they are burned out, they're resentful, or they're detached, like

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Speaker 3: they're no longer moved by what they're hearing because they've

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Speaker 3: checked out in order to take care of themselves. So

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Speaker 3: the way I can have something to pour out is

415
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Speaker 3: I have to pour in, which means as clinicians, we

416
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Speaker 3: also have to be mindful to not surround ourselves with

417
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Speaker 3: one sided relationships outside of the therapy office. And that

418
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Speaker 3: can be a cole issue of picking friends and partners

419
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Speaker 3: that we pour into but don't get anything from and so,

420
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Speaker 3: and if we don't take responsibility for it, we can say, oh,

421
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Speaker 3: it just happens, like, oh, I just always end up

422
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Speaker 3: with selfish friends. Well, if that keeps happening, there is

423
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Speaker 3: a way that we are participating. So you want to

424
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 3: challenge yourself about what is it that makes me uncomfortable

425
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Speaker 3: about being with eagles. What is it that makes me

426
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 3: uncomfortable about sharing intimate space with people who can really

427
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 3: see me, not just what I offer for them. So

428
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 3: restoring ourselves both relationally and spiritually, so we show up

429
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: with something give. And it also means recognizing we are

430
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Speaker 3: not the savior. So when I first started, when I

431
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 3: first graduated and first started doing this work, I had

432
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Speaker 3: this pattern I noticed where I kept missing lunch because

433
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Speaker 3: they would say a client needed to be seen, and

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Speaker 3: I would do this thing in my head where I

435
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 3: would say, what's more important me getting a sandwich or

436
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 3: someone's healing, So I'm going to see the client. So

437
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 3: now I'm sitting there, hungry, talking to other people about

438
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 3: self care. My stomach is growley, and I'm telling you

439
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 3: the importance of taking care of yourself. So I had

440
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 3: to make the decision do I just want to be

441
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: a parent and repeat what I read in a book,

442
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 3: or do I want to be authentic and actually too

443
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: much to the best of my ability, live what I

444
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,719
Speaker 3: am speaking and to know I am worthy. I'm worthy

445
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 3: of going to bed, I'm worthy of eating, I'm worthy

446
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 3: of time for to do nothing, I'm worthy. And so

447
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 3: I no longer have to define myself by busyness, right,

448
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 3: And when I recognize I am not the Savior, then

449
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 3: I'm a lot less stressed out. You know, when you

450
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 3: first start, you have this idea, I'm carrying these people.

451
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 3: No I'm not. I'm walking alongside them where we're walking

452
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 3: this out and they are giving me the honor and

453
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: privilege of walking with them. But it is not for

454
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 3: me to carry doctor Tamer.

455
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: You got us over here shouting, We over here waving

456
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 2: our hands, trying to be quiet as you speak. But

457
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 2: you are preaching that is so on point that savior,

458
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: you know complex that some of us get. We's like

459
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: I got to help the people. I got to be

460
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 2: there for them. But it's like, are you helping yourself?

461
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 3: Right?

462
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 2: Are you there for yourself?

463
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely? And I gave myself the gift of on airplanes

464
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 3: no longer telling people what I do. If you're on

465
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 3: an airplane and you tell the person next to you, oh,

466
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 3: what do you do? I'm a psychologist, then it's about

467
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 3: to be like a three hour session. I don't play

468
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 3: those games. Yeah, I say, I'm a teacher and I'm

469
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: about to close my eyes and go to sleep.

470
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I have done that so many times for.

471
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: Tect your energy because you already know they're going to

472
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 2: ask questions. Well, this happened then when I was younger. Now,

473
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 2: what about doctor tell Let's say there's a woman who

474
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: maybe has not started her journey into therapy, but she

475
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 2: knows that she's being impacted from some you know, familiar trauma.

476
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: What will be that first step toward healing for her?

477
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 3: Yes, So the first and biggest step is acknowledgement. Because

478
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 3: many of our wounds we do not recognize as wounds.

479
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: We think it's our personality. So you think, you know,

480
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: having a mean face and being distrusting or zapping out

481
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: on people. You say, that's just me. And as long

482
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 3: as I claim the thing as my identity, I will

483
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: never heal because I'm going to say that's just me.

484
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 3: But when I have the courage to say, even though

485
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 3: for years of my life I have been acting this way,

486
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 3: I recognize that is my wound speaking, that is my

487
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 3: wound deciding for me. That is my wound that has

488
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 3: shaped my life. It's actually not who I am at

489
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 3: my core. So in order to heal it, you got

490
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 3: to first see it. And so, what's the stuff that's

491
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 3: been a part of you, but that's not really you.

492
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 3: What are the aspects of you that are a reaction

493
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 3: to how you were raised, what you live through, what

494
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 3: your mother and father lived through. What are the realities

495
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 3: of being a descendant of the transatlantic slave trade? But

496
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: what are the ways that enslavement shows up for you,

497
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 3: that stereotype, stigma, discrimination, fear show up for you. And

498
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 3: to recognize that is actually not your identity drops Mike.

499
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: I mean there we have it. Yeah, wow, we don't

500
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 3: see it, you know, and people will cling to that

501
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 3: of that's just me. And then you know, if you're

502
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 3: one of those people that think being nice is being

503
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 3: fake or being kind is being weak, that is your

504
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 3: wound speaking. So you're still in survival mode, and the

505
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 3: beautiful part is developing that armor is what allowed you

506
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 3: to survive some very toxic situations. But surviving is not

507
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 3: the same thing as living, and you will never live

508
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 3: the fullness of who you are on the planet to

509
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 3: be as long as you are stuck in survival mode.

510
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 3: And so taking the risk of finding out, is this

511
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 3: a safe place in my life where it doesn't mean

512
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: I will never have to engage? But I don't live

513
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: in battle right if it comes to me, if it

514
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 3: shows up, if there is an issue, I can advocate

515
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 3: for myself. But I don't live in that defensive place

516
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: of always side eyeing everybody and always waiting for the

517
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 3: other shoe to drop and never getting to enjoy this moment.

518
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 2: If someone believes it being kind of being nice is

519
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: a form of weakness, how is that their wound showing up?

520
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 3: Can we dig into that a little bit? Sure, it

521
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 3: is because their experience of people they trusted, love or

522
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: admired were people who were mean spirited, and they would

523
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 3: call it brutally honest. But people will put those two

524
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 3: things together that to be honest, you must be brutal,

525
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 3: and that is not true. So I can speak truth

526
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 3: and love and it is not any less the truth.

527
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 3: But when I was raised by people who were not

528
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: able to verbally express their care for me, then it

529
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 3: is uncomfortable for me to hear it. So I have

530
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: to question it when somebody else does, because if that

531
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 3: is authentic, then I miss something. If if that thing

532
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 3: is not real, I never missed anything because it doesn't exist.

533
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 2: That's so powerful, all based on your experience and the

534
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 2: wound that you have. Now that's impact in the way

535
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: that other people or how you perceive other people when

536
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 2: they show up authentically.

537
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 4: Right, right.

538
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 3: I was working with a mother and her adult daughter,

539
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 3: and you know, the adult daughter was in pain for

540
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 3: multiple reasons, but a part of it was her mother

541
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 3: struggled with addiction and had never expressed compassion or love

542
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 3: toward the daughter. And so when I asked the mother,

543
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 3: you know, are you willing to tell your daughter you

544
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,240
Speaker 3: love her? The mother's immediate response was, I'm not trying

545
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: to be fake. So I say it is only fake

546
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 3: if it's a lie. You don't love her and you

547
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 3: say I love her because I asked you to, and

548
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: that is being faked. So I guess this is an

549
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 3: important point for us to come to terms with who

550
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 3: you love your daughter? And of course not, of course,

551
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:18,240
Speaker 3: but the answer was yes, right, So that healing space

552
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 3: is so important.

553
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 4: I can imagine, like as I was listening to you,

554
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 4: the healing that occurred not just for mom but for

555
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 4: the daughter. Yes, yes, and the transformation that could occur

556
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 4: for her absolutely after hearing her mom say I love you.

557
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: And one of the things about addiction is sometimes kids,

558
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 3: especially having their mind. My parents chose their drug over me.

559
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 3: But for someone with an addiction, that's not even the choice.

560
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 3: They're not sitting there grappling with like this or that, Right,

561
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 3: it's that the addiction is it like they're not even

562
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 3: choosing themselves. There is no choice anymore. Right when you

563
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 3: have full fetch addiction, I'm not even choosing. I am

564
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: caught up. And so it's a powerful, painful reality that

565
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 3: some of the things that were directed at us or

566
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 3: that affected us were not about us. Are people whose

567
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 3: father never showed up for them, and them trying to

568
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 3: figure out what's wrong with me that my father didn't

569
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 3: want me. That man may have a whole history and

570
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 3: decision making that had nothing to do with your worth

571
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 3: or value as a daughter or as a son.

572
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 2: Wow, it's so deep to think about how we all

573
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: like it's intergeneration, right. We all have our own path

574
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,879
Speaker 2: and our own story that impacts the way we show

575
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 2: up in the world, the way that we love on

576
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 2: those or fail to love on those that are around us.

577
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 2: And everyone is being impacted by something. It's just whoa

578
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 2: When you think about it that way, it's just really deep.

579
00:36:58,920 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 3: Correct.

580
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, we never truly know as we're all walking around

581
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 4: this world. We never truly know what wounds the other

582
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 4: person is carrying. That person in the grocery store, that

583
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 4: person in the car next to us when we're on

584
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 4: that long commute may be dealing with some wounds that

585
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 4: are causing them to interact with us and what we

586
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 4: perceive as something negative, but could truly be self protective

587
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 4: for them.

588
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the same piece for other people. You look

589
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 3: at other people's behavior and you're like, why in the

590
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,760
Speaker 3: world would you do that? That doesn't make any sense,

591
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 3: But that is because you're thinking about it from your

592
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 3: perspective of what you would do, and that you wouldn't

593
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 3: do that, right, But if you knew their story, it

594
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 3: would make more sense to you why they chose to do.

595
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 2: Yes, it's so difficult sometimes to get outside of our

596
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 2: head and see things from someone else's perspective, right, whether

597
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 2: it's family or love ones, that's just it's just powerful.

598
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 4: And so now we want to shift gears a little bit,

599
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 4: because you know, you talked about one of the things

600
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 4: that you mentioned was being joyful and pouring into yourself,

601
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 4: and so one of the ways that Terry and I

602
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 4: like to pour into ourselves and pour into our guests

603
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 4: is what we call our OHU Clatchet segment. And so

604
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 4: because we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman and

605
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 4: believe that it's okay to be classy and ratchet and

606
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 4: you can still be elegant and dance to strip club music,

607
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 4: we invite you to the oh you classic segment. So,

608
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 4: Doctor Tama, do you take on the challenge?

609
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 3: Yes? I take it ding, let's do it?

610
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 2: Yay, all right, allowed to Doctor Tatma. We were very nervous.

611
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: We read your bye, were like, okay, she's a minister.

612
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 2: Should we should we go ahead and do this segment here?

613
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 2: But I think it'll be fun for you. We're gonna

614
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 2: rapid fire. Just ask you a few questions. And the

615
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 2: first question here is which song gets you on the

616
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,439
Speaker 2: dance floor at the club or party right now?

617
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 3: Truth hurts Lizo, Yeah, that's a joy.

618
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 4: Okay, yes, okay. What's your favorite hairstyle on yourself?

619
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 3: Low? I have been right now?

620
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 4: Yes, all right?

621
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: If you had your locks, doctor Tama, just a year?

622
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 4: Oh nice?

623
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 3: Nice? Yeah all right?

624
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 2: Well what about this question? What's the best compliment you've

625
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 2: ever received?

626
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 3: So I'm a dancer and I was dancing back in

627
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 3: North Carolina when I was in college, and when I

628
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 3: came off a stage, a woman said to me, who

629
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 3: did you train with God?

630
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 4: Wow?

631
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 2: Beautiful?

632
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 3: Wow? Yeah that was the best.

633
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 4: Well, speaking of dancing or two step or something in between.

634
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 3: I'm gonna dancer, So I'm gonna do a combo. We're

635
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:13,439
Speaker 3: gonna do it all, Doctor Tamer.

636
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: What's your favorite book?

637
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 3: I have several. My mom wrote a book called I

638
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 3: Dance with God. And what I love about that book

639
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: is it's focused on women, on women of African descent.

640
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,919
Speaker 3: It is spiritual, and it is poetic, and of course

641
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 3: that's my mother and she's brilliant.

642
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 2: So yes, that's incredible.

643
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 4: That is so awesome. So we are going to have

644
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 4: to have a link to that book in our show

645
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 4: notes so that our listeners can go and find that book.

646
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 3: Good.

647
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:51,879
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And then our final question, what is something that

648
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 4: many people don't know about you?

649
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 3: I spent high school in Liberia, West Africa, tanh and

650
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 3: the eleventh grade. And even though growing up I was

651
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 3: teased a lot for being dark skin with natural hair

652
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 3: and African features, when I went to Liberia for those

653
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 3: two years, I actually became this high school Liberia.

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00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: Wowow, that is so incredible. Yeah, oh my goodness.

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00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 3: So it was life transforming to go from the rejected

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00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: one to the reigning point. That changed my whole perspective

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00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 3: of myself. I know, that's right.

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00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 4: That is so beautiful, Oh talking about it, talk about

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00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 4: an amazing narrative like yeah.

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00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 3: Doctor Tainment.

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00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 2: We just want to thank you so much for your time.

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00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 2: We honor you and we celebrate you for the work

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00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 2: that you do for our community and the conversation that

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00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: we had today that we know is going to touch

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00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 2: so many women. We just thank you for your gifts,

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00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: for your talents, your many gifts right and many talents,

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00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 2: and we love for you to share with our listeners

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00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 2: where can they find you on social media?

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00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 3: Thank you both for having me. It's been a delight

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00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 3: talking to you, and I would love to stay connected

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00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 3: with your listeners. So on Twitter, doctor Tama d r

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00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 3: t h E. M A. On Instagram, It's doctor Dr

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00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 3: period Tama on Facebook the same doctor Tama Bryant Davis.

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00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 3: My website is doctor Tama dot com and an exciting venture.

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00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 3: I would love to invite your audience to join me.

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00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 3: On is July the seventh, I started my podcast and

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00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 3: it's called Homecoming with doctor Tama, and it is about

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00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 3: coming home to yourself emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, sexually, as whole beings.

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00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 3: For us to stop living this other woman's life, this

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00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 3: other man's life, but to get to that place of

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00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 3: authentic fulfillment. It's on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Spotify.

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00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 2: That sounds amazing. We will definitely add a link to

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00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 2: our show notes that leads them right to your podcast.

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00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Doctor tayma.

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00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 3: Oh, you are welcome.

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00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks for joining us today in her Space.

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00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 4: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

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00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 4: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

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00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,720
Speaker 4: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

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00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 4: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you or

691
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 4: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

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00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 4: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today

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00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 4: or contact your insurance provider.

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00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

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00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

696
00:43:54,719 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: Twitter at her Space podcast or check out our website

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00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 2: at heartspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

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00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 2: after me. I will not judge myself for where I'm starting.

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Speaker 2: I'm making progress every day.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week, Lady