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Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, it's your favorite non celebrity real life besties.

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Speaker 1: We're still struggling and having fun in the dating scene,

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Speaker 1: and we love to sit here and chat with all

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Speaker 1: of you listeners and swap war stories as we are

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Speaker 1: all in the same trenches, and we just want to

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Speaker 1: dive deep into a real topic, which is something Thelma

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Speaker 1: and I talk about regularly, which is how do you

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Speaker 1: fill the time or the gray area when you're not

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Speaker 1: involved in a relationship. And I just want to point

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Speaker 1: out that at the end of the day, Thelma is

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Speaker 1: my soulmate and I will always choose all me and

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Speaker 1: any other guy I date is going to be number two.

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Speaker 1: And tomorrow Thelma is leaving me for two weeks, and

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Speaker 1: I have to say we are entering into a long

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Speaker 1: distance relationship, and I begin to get panicked, but heart

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Speaker 1: have no fear I have showing up on our doorstep

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Speaker 1: for New Year's Eve because we can't possibly not be together.

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Speaker 1: But the truth, the truth to be told is is

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Speaker 1: Thelma and I are really good at looking at our

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Speaker 1: life like a huge a huge pizza, and dating is

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Speaker 1: a slice of it. But we have worked really hard

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Speaker 1: to find fulfillment and lots of things that find us

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Speaker 1: joy and dating is just part of it, and our

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Speaker 1: whole life is not about finding that partner. So, Thelma,

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Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on this? Do you concur that

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Speaker 1: this is something that you and I have succeeded in doing.

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Speaker 2: I completely agree, and I think that, I mean, this

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Speaker 2: might just be me, but I feel like often I

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Speaker 2: when I think about the times where I might be

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Speaker 2: wishing that I had somebody, or I'm lonely or just

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Speaker 2: wondering why I'm not in a relationship, it's often a

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Speaker 2: sign of something far bigger going on within me, and

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Speaker 2: it really has nothing to do with dating or finding

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Speaker 2: the person. It's that something in my life is either

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Speaker 2: off or I'm not I'm trying to think. I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: that if I find someone, it might be the solution

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Speaker 2: to something that I'm not really approaching in the right

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Speaker 2: way in my own like in my own way. So

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Speaker 2: for example, I think sometimes it's I'm bored and I'm bored,

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Speaker 2: and so instead of saying Okay, I'm bored, what am

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Speaker 2: I going to do about it and taking steps to

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Speaker 2: address that, that's when your mind or my mind might

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Speaker 2: be like, oh, well, if I was dating somebody, it

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Speaker 2: would look different. And I think the truth is it's

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Speaker 2: usually I have it within me to make a change

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Speaker 2: so that I don't feel bored, or that I don't

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Speaker 2: feel lonely, or that I am being proactive, and so

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Speaker 2: often it's about just taking action. And then I find

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Speaker 2: that it's not even about missing someone.

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Speaker 1: I think finding a partner has to be totally additive, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I think if we make our whole life about

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Speaker 1: finding our soulmate or finding our husband or finding our boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of always looking out like tomorrow and the

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Speaker 1: next stop on the train, right, And I think we

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Speaker 1: need to focus on the day ahead of us and say,

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Speaker 1: how can we find joy? What's going to make us

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Speaker 1: feel good? We don't need to fill a hole within

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Speaker 1: ourselves with another person.

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Speaker 2: Right, That's never going to work. I mean we both

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Speaker 2: talked about that.

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Speaker 1: Also, shopping buying a new pair of shoes isn't going

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Speaker 1: to fill a hole, right, Like, it's finding joy within ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And I think you know what you and I do

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Speaker 1: is sure we have our five minutes of saying like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it would be so great if somebody was taking us

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Speaker 1: out on a Saturday night, But like we can take

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Speaker 1: ourselves out on a Saturday night completely and we enjoy

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Speaker 1: ourselves doing it right. And as you and I both know,

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Speaker 1: I would rather bet on our known, our unknown, than

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Speaker 1: are known. And I look around at eighty five percent

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Speaker 1: of the people in my lives who are in marriages

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Speaker 1: and relationships and they're unhappy, right, and the grass is

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Speaker 1: not greener. But I have to say that every day

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Speaker 1: you and I wake up, we are the architects of

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Speaker 1: our own life period and it's exciting and it's an opportunity.

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Speaker 1: The unknown is an opportunity, and I just think we

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Speaker 1: have to look at this period of time in our

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Speaker 1: life as there is a reason why we are I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying alone, because we're not alone. We have each other,

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Speaker 1: we have our children, we have our friends, we have

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Speaker 1: whatever it is in our life. We've got the Starbucks barista, right,

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Speaker 1: like our value is not determined because we have a

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Speaker 1: partner period completely.

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Speaker 2: And it's not about playing the waiting game. It's about

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Speaker 2: what do you want in your life and taking steps

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Speaker 2: today to make that happen, and you, as you said,

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Speaker 2: being the architect of your own life. So I think

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Speaker 2: that a big, huge piece also is recognizing that like

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Speaker 2: it's not one thing or one person that really meets

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Speaker 2: all of your emotions needs.

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Speaker 1: Well, why are we giving that person, that unknown person,

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Speaker 1: that power.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's a common misconception. I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of people when they get unhappy, go to, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: it would look so different if I had somebody. But

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Speaker 2: if you're unhappy, it's because you're unhappy or lonely in

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Speaker 2: your own life. It's not because somebody else is going

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Speaker 2: to provide that for you.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's no different than when somebody's like, oh, if

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Speaker 1: I had a million dollars more, i'd be happier. It's like, no,

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Speaker 1: be happy with what you have and how you've achieved it. Right,

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Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, Look, you and

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Speaker 1: I do a lot of stuff. You know. Here's what

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Speaker 1: I do when I'm unhappy or I'm feeling lonely. I

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Speaker 1: pick up the phone and I FaceTime you. I know

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Speaker 1: you hate my face time, but we FaceTime. We laugh. Right,

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Speaker 1: I read a book. There is nothing better than actually

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Speaker 1: reading a book and getting lost in a story. It

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Speaker 1: feels really good, putting on a TV show, going on

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Speaker 1: a walk. I mean, you and I have I'll speak

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Speaker 1: for myself osteoporosis now, so I have to work weight

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Speaker 1: ad best right one for Chris I did. That was

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Speaker 1: a good gift, you know. But I just feel like

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Speaker 1: there are so many ways to create fulfillment within ourselves

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Speaker 1: that has nothing to do with finding a partner, right

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Speaker 1: Like there all this is a chapter when we are

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Speaker 1: all searching for people. We need to just look. I

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Speaker 1: think it's two bold. I think you energetically have to

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Speaker 1: put it out there that you want to meet somebody, right,

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Speaker 1: but at the same time, you can't make your entire

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Speaker 1: focus about meeting somebody and coming from this like desperate

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Speaker 1: place about it. It's kind of like walking a tight rope, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: it would be great to meet somebody. I am open

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Speaker 1: to meeting somebody, but at the same time, I'm living

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Speaker 1: my best life. And because I'm living my best life,

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Speaker 1: that is the energy that we're giving out there, and

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Speaker 1: it's going to come back to us.

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Speaker 2: Andrew, you spending the time I think being your best

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Speaker 2: version of yourself, and I mean I mean on a

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Speaker 2: deeper level and trying new things. I meant getting your

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Speaker 2: self comfortable being uncomfortable. I feel like I always am

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Speaker 2: saying to my kids, like when they say, Oh, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to do that. You know, I'm scared to

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Speaker 2: do it. I'm scared to run for student body. I'm

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Speaker 2: scared to do this. Like I spend so much time

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Speaker 2: and my kids are older now, but pushing and encouraging

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Speaker 2: my kids to get out there and do things that

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Speaker 2: they they kind of want to do, but then within

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Speaker 2: five seconds have already talked themselves out of it. And

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Speaker 2: it's it's about taking my own advice and pushing myself

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Speaker 2: to do things and operating not out of I mean

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Speaker 2: not out of fear, but being proactive. And I feel

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Speaker 2: like I'm really trying to say yes to more things

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Speaker 2: that are unique and different and not the usual things

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Speaker 2: that I do.

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Speaker 1: So to that point, right, and this is something we've

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Speaker 1: talked about and I think it's a lot easier to

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Speaker 1: do it. And we're not in our own city, right,

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Speaker 1: but you know, it would be amazing to sit at

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Speaker 1: a bar by ourselves, because we all know guys don't

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Speaker 1: approach tables of women. Don't people get approached when they're

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Speaker 1: either by themselves or maybe with one other person. So

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Speaker 1: traveling alone, going on and eat prey love trip, which

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Speaker 1: puts us out of our comfort zone, sitting at a

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Speaker 1: hotel bar and having you know, a pork chop and

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Speaker 1: a glass of wine by yourself, right, not on your phone,

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Speaker 1: just with a big smile on your face, right saying

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Speaker 1: like I'm approachable, Come talk to me.

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Speaker 2: We're saying oh to people in the street, I mean,

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Speaker 2: or when an elevator or a gym, Hey, you know nice,

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Speaker 2: how are you? How's your day? I mean, it's all

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Speaker 2: of those things. It's like signing up for a pickleball

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Speaker 2: class without a friend and doing it by yourself, and

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Speaker 2: going and meeting random people that you would never have

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Speaker 2: met before and showing up in that way, you know,

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Speaker 2: or saying yes when people invite you to things that

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Speaker 2: you generally would say no to or you don't think

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Speaker 2: you're going to know anybody. It's like that's what you

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Speaker 2: have to do.

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Speaker 1: Well, there's the reason why these opportunities are presented to us.

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Speaker 1: We don't know why, right, Like, we have no idea.

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Speaker 1: Somebody might say, oh, I need you to drop off

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Speaker 1: you know this this thing at the whatever, and all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden you walk in and your soulmate is there.

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Speaker 1: We just have to be open and say yes to opportunities.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, don't forget. You were in Atlanta and

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Speaker 1: I think you were dropping one of her kids off

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Speaker 1: and you went down to the Four Seasons bar and

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Speaker 1: you had sat down and had dinner. And I was

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Speaker 1: so struck by the story because it was you sat

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Speaker 1: there and you started talking to somebody, and I remember

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Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, well, you and I had this whole

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Speaker 1: business idea. Remember what we were going to do still

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Speaker 1: not off the table, right, We're going to go hotel

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Speaker 1: bar to hotel bar, city to city and you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of talk about all the different people we meet,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, it's very fun. I had a friend

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Speaker 1: here and I was really she actually had a Saturday night,

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Speaker 1: had to drop her son off at like a bar

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Speaker 1: mitzeat and sat at the bar at Brentwood, Catsia by

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Speaker 1: herself on a Saturday night. I was like, oh, that's.

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Speaker 2: Quite old when you know people. And that's why I

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Speaker 2: think it's so much easier when you're somewhere outside of

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Speaker 2: your day to day because it's easier being anonymous and

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Speaker 2: not feeling so uncomfortable kind of being alone. Right, I mean,

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Speaker 2: not many people in their hometown are willing to do that,

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Speaker 2: but I think like getting in the car driving to

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Speaker 2: Santa Barbara, like, it doesn't have to be anything major.

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Speaker 2: I mean talk about major. You remember I told you

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Speaker 2: about what my sister and I did. We got divorced

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Speaker 2: within six months of each other, and we were both

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Speaker 2: just like, oh my gosh, what does our chapter two

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Speaker 2: look like? Where do we pick up and start our lives?

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Speaker 2: Like everything we thought and knew our life to be

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Speaker 2: completely you know, was not no longer. And we planned

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Speaker 2: a trip to a visa. The two of us literally

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Speaker 2: gone on a plane, went to a visa and traveled

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Speaker 2: for two weeks together. And I seriously think that was

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Speaker 2: like the best trip I've ever had in my entire life.

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Speaker 1: No, you want me to do with my sister? Who's

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Speaker 1: I just said that to you?

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Speaker 2: The idea you did? Have you done that with your sister?

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Speaker 2: It's just it was so fun. I mean, we wore

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Speaker 2: clothes we never would have worn, right, We talked to

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Speaker 2: people we never would have talked to. We stayed out

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Speaker 2: until five am. It was like it was such a high.

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Speaker 2: It was such a high, well it was.

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Speaker 1: It was something completely different than your normal greatest tips

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Speaker 1: or what's in your playbook? You know. Look, I will

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Speaker 1: say it's hard sometimes and to sit there and I

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Speaker 1: go down the rabbit hole of like, why am I

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Speaker 1: sol alone? I've been divorced nine years, I've dated, I've

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Speaker 1: had boyfriends, but like, why haven't I found my unicorn? Like?

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Speaker 1: And sometimes you begin to say to yourself, like what's

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Speaker 1: wrong with me? Like why can that person get themselves

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Speaker 1: into a long term relationship or get themselves remarried. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget when I was going through my divorce

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Speaker 1: proceedings and my ex husband said to me, oh, you'll

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Speaker 1: be remarried at no time, and I was like, Okay, great,

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Speaker 1: well that hasn't happened. And I'm like and meanwhile he's

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Speaker 1: like engaged and living his best life. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: is something wrong with me? And you know, I sometimes

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Speaker 1: it makes me feel badly about myself. And then I thought, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to not come from that place like I

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Speaker 1: just haven't found my right person. And this has been

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Speaker 1: a time where I'm becoming the best version of myself.

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Speaker 1: And I know I have changed so much from the

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Speaker 1: person I was when I was married to the early

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Speaker 1: years of being divorced to who I am today. And

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of that. Person and the work I've done,

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Speaker 1: and I know I'm better for it, and each person

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Speaker 1: that we date, whether it's one date, whether it's one month,

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Speaker 1: whether it's three years, it's part of our journey so

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Speaker 1: we get to our final destination. And I believe it's happening,

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Speaker 1: and it maybe took a little bit longer, but I'm

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Speaker 1: but I'm also happy that you and I have been

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Speaker 1: on the same timeline.

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Speaker 2: Well, but you might have not and you might not

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Speaker 2: have evolved as much had you met somebody right away,

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Speaker 2: right because as soon as you get in a relationship,

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Speaker 2: that's when compromise starts. And I'm not saying it's not

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Speaker 2: a great thing, because I think you become less stuck

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Speaker 2: in your ways and all the rest. That's the danger

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Speaker 2: of being single for too long, is do I elect

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Speaker 2: to actually have a partner in my life, because it

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Speaker 2: is so good without having to make those compromises and sacrifices.

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Speaker 2: But I do think that attitude is everything right, and

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Speaker 2: your attitude, I mean, let's be honest, I mean, there's

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Speaker 2: an ass for every seat. If we wanted a boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: or anyone wanted a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you could

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Speaker 2: have one. And it's like every I mean, everybody could

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Speaker 2: be taken or I mean, I don't want to say everybody.

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Speaker 1: For sure, but we don't want to settle, and we'd

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Speaker 1: like it. I'm the queen of trying to fit a

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Speaker 1: square peg into a round hole, right because you know,

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Speaker 1: and so I think you're better at cutting bait sooner

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Speaker 1: than I do, right because I'm like, oh, like they're

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Speaker 1: nice or it is or that or good enough. But

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Speaker 1: I don't want good enough because first of all, the

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Speaker 1: scary thing is is they say a lot of second

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Speaker 1: marriages greater percentage of ending up in divorced than first marriages.

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Speaker 1: So it would I don't want to get divorced again, right,

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Speaker 1: or I don't it's scary.

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Speaker 2: Or you want to get married. I mean I also

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Speaker 2: think that, like you look at people today, and I

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Speaker 2: think how I view marriage and and commitment and partnership

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Speaker 2: is so different as a fifty one year old than

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Speaker 2: as a twenty year old. You know, I used It's

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Speaker 2: not that I spent time sitting there dreaming about like, oh,

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Speaker 2: a white picket fence and you know, getting married. I

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Speaker 2: wasn't really one of those, but I just assumed that

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Speaker 2: that's kind of what you did, and I think today.

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Speaker 1: Well, you also watch a great example in your parents.

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Speaker 2: I mean, my parents have been married for over sixty years,

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Speaker 2: my siblings. You know, I was the first in my

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Speaker 2: family to get divorced, and it took me a really

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Speaker 2: long time to not feel like there was this stigma.

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Speaker 2: And I think I told you, like everyone in my

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Speaker 2: world and my purview, everyone I saw was married, and

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Speaker 2: it wasn't until I got divorced that I realized how

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Speaker 2: many people were actually divorced. But I also think that

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Speaker 2: a huge, a huge piece for me is that like

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Speaker 2: back to kind of emotional needs being met by different people.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that one person in it needs to

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Speaker 2: be my be all and all you know, as you said,

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Speaker 2: it's additive, it enhances your life. But the truth is

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Speaker 2: like we and have somebody, but it doesn't have to

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Speaker 2: look the same. They can be you know, and out

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Speaker 2: of town like friends.

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Speaker 1: Right like, say we have ten friends and one person

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Speaker 1: is the person you laugh with, one person is the

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Speaker 1: one you talk about, make up the genes with one

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Speaker 1: person you tell them your deepest, darkest secret and can

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Speaker 1: be your most vulnerable self. Right like that goes back

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Speaker 1: to the whole point of what we think. I think

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Speaker 1: this podcast is is finding a partner is just supposed

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Speaker 1: to be part of your life. There are so many more.

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Speaker 1: There's so many equally amazing and important aspects of one's life,

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Speaker 1: right Like, it's career, it's passions, it's hobbies, it's friends,

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Speaker 1: it's family, it's being a parent, it's professional, it's spiritual,

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Speaker 1: right like, what turns us on spiritual? Like I love

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Speaker 1: my crystals, I love manifestation, I love listening to Gabby Bernstein,

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Speaker 1: I love my eleven eleven numbers, right Like, it's a

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Speaker 1: very big it's a big landscape. And so I think

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Speaker 1: you know, you and I are really good not making

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Speaker 1: finding our partner of the utmost important. Our life is

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Speaker 1: never going to be defined by that. Look, when you're twenty,

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Speaker 1: twenty five, thirty, you know, we do want to find

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Speaker 1: our husband, we want to get married, we want to

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Speaker 1: have children, Like those are important things. But to your point,

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Speaker 1: when you're in your fifties, a partner is very different

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Speaker 1: at fifty than at twenty, right Like, we're looking for

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Speaker 1: a companion.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it can be a once in a month partner.

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Speaker 2: I mean I think we differ a little bit. I

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Speaker 2: think you ultimately would like to find one person. But

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Speaker 2: for me, I don't know. I kind of feel like

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Speaker 2: it's this archaic, archaic tradition of like, and it's not

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Speaker 2: that I'm opposed to monogamy, but like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I need somebody full time in my life, and

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Speaker 2: like you know, for me, it might be finding somebody

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Speaker 2: that enjoys the same things that I do and hooking up.

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Speaker 2: And I don't mean literally hooking up, but like hooking

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Speaker 2: you hooking up. I mean that's never well, that's my

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Speaker 2: long distance.

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Speaker 1: For you, you're very open and comfortable with the concept

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Speaker 1: of a long business relationship because think about it, you're

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Speaker 1: getting the best of both worlds, right, Like you get

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Speaker 1: your life here, you get your time to beat Thelma,

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Speaker 1: you get your time with your fun girls dinners, but

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Speaker 1: then you would be able to go away and spend

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Speaker 1: your time with your boyfriend at that time.

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Speaker 2: For me, it's like getting a fix and then after

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Speaker 2: I've gotten it, I'm like, I feel good.

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Speaker 1: I will say, the best thing to do in this

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Speaker 1: for me, which there's nothing I love more than our

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Speaker 1: girls trips, Like I think packing up with your friends,

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Speaker 1: taking a drive, or hopping on a plane to go

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Speaker 1: to New York. Like, I just got back from a

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Speaker 1: girls trip in New York for four days. It was

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Speaker 1: the most fun. We felt so good about ourselves. And

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Speaker 1: it also when you change your environment and you come back,

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Speaker 1: you just have a fresh kind of rejuvenated energy about you.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know, like we're all going to the

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Speaker 1: pro am in January to sell We're going to have

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Speaker 1: such a blast.

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Speaker 2: You realize the world's also a bigger place, kind of

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Speaker 2: what you said, It's like it's so small, but it

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Speaker 2: is big, And like, how do you start doing things

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Speaker 2: that aren't the usual things that you do to create

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Speaker 2: excitement and novelty and you know, have butterflies again when

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Speaker 2: you're going out.

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Speaker 1: But I also think we need to look at dating

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Speaker 1: like fun. Like it's like it's an opportunity, right, and

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Speaker 1: for example, like you know, and it was hard to

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Speaker 1: get you to start doing it, right, Like I really

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Speaker 1: get to push you, and I really kind of look

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Speaker 1: at it as an opportunity even like the anticipation of

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Speaker 1: getting ready and like the coordination of the date is

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Speaker 1: far more fun and exciting than the actual date itself. Right,

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Speaker 1: It's like the wedding prep and then you have the

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Speaker 1: wedding right, so you know, eight times out of ten,

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Speaker 1: the date is like a hard pass, but the fun

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Speaker 1: that we have doing it. But for me, look, dating

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Speaker 1: is hard in LA for me because I grew up here.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I know one won't want a dating

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Speaker 1: app because I see everyone I know on it. But

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Speaker 1: there are some really funny dating stories. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: just have to tell you it's dating fun like I

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Speaker 1: got remember the story I told you this weekend. This

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Speaker 1: story is I was telling my kids last night. So

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Speaker 1: I have a friend who's going through a divorce, and

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Speaker 1: I've been pushing her to go on the dating apps,

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Speaker 1: and she's set her age range to mid sixties because

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Speaker 1: she's like, I don't want anyone with young kids, like

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Speaker 1: I just want somebody who's like a man, who can

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Speaker 1: like up and go okay. Fine, So she matches with

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Speaker 1: this guy. She sends me the picture and he's handsome.

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Speaker 1: He's cute, right, and so she's like okay. So they

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Speaker 1: make a plan to wow this Tuesday night, and so

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Speaker 1: she sends the picture to another one of our friends.

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Speaker 1: And then our friend was at John and Vinnie's having

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Speaker 1: lunch on Sunday and she sees this guy on another date,

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Speaker 1: but the one that my friend is going to meet.

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Speaker 1: So she takes a picture of him and she says

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Speaker 1: it to my friend and goes, guess he's really on

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Speaker 1: the dating circuit. So he's like a total dating machine.

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Speaker 1: So those are the stories that you have to laugh

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Speaker 1: at and have fun with. And then the currency and

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Speaker 1: the laughter. We've dined out on this story all wee

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Speaker 1: get them out of shared it with you like it's

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Speaker 1: so funny.

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Speaker 2: And that's the same thing. Actually, when my sister and

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Speaker 2: I were in a Biza, we got on the dating apps,

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Speaker 2: and remember I told you that we would. I mean,

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Speaker 2: our profiles were very similar, but we were also seeking

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Speaker 2: similar in return, and so we were texting the same

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Speaker 2: people and then taking notes on like who was responding

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Speaker 2: with what and were they like the same response were

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Speaker 2: they different responses? Remember I would take her phone put

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Speaker 2: her on dates with other people.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's what I'm doing on your pun But look,

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Speaker 1: as you know, your friend Louise is very woo woo, right,

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Speaker 1: like you had to take some of the crystals.

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Speaker 2: Out of my place, and you believe everything the sign,

416
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Speaker 2: but I.

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Speaker 1: Do, but I believe in manifestation and I believe in

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Speaker 1: vision boards. So, for example, every year on January one,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this about me, I

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Speaker 1: do a vision board, and I keep it in a

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Speaker 1: space that I can see. Sometimes it's in my bathroom,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's in whatever it is, because again, I believe

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Speaker 1: in manifestation. As you know, when I see eleven eleven

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Speaker 1: on a license plate or a clock or a receipt,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm busy crossing myself and making wishes and

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Speaker 1: all that. So what are you manifesting for twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: five me?

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Speaker 2: I funny that you asked that. I feel like this

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Speaker 2: sounds really superficial, but it's something that I know really

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Speaker 2: affects my mood, and it's it's basically feeling good about

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Speaker 2: myself physically and esthetically. And I know that that sounds superficial,

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Speaker 2: but you know how we joke around about the brawn

433
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 2: and underwear, how the matching raw and underwear. I feel

434
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 2: like when I know this sounds really light to your

435
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 2: big question, because I actually have deeper ones. But I

436
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 2: feel like you get ready because you see clients all

437
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 2: the time, and so you always kind of feel well.

438
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,919
Speaker 2: I don't know if you feel good about yourself, but

439
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 2: you look good, you present well, and I think in turn,

440
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 2: it makes you feel good. And I think for me

441
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 2: working from home, not having to present and be around people,

442
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean in a formal setting

443
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 2: on a day to day basis, can really start to

444
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 2: impact my psyche. And I feel like getting dressed and

445
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 2: liking what I see in the mirror makes me approach

446
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 2: my day so differently. And you know, remember you joked

447
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 2: around with me. We were in a dressing room one

448
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,719
Speaker 2: time and you're like, oh, I like your bron underwear.

449
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 2: And this is one thing that's always a non negotiable

450
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 2: for me. But like I put on matching braun and

451
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: underwear every single day. I do not do it for

452
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 2: anybody else. I do it for me. You wear underwear,

453
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,159
Speaker 2: I know not everyone does, but anyway, I do it

454
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 2: for me because I often think, you know, we joke

455
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 2: around where it's like, well, if you don't like yourself,

456
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 2: and if you don't like what you see in the mirror,

457
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 2: why do you expect somebody else to? And I really

458
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: do take that to her.

459
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: I think it's a metaphor if you feel good about yourself,

460
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 1: or at least you're faking it till you make it.

461
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 1: Then that's the energy you're putting out there. So even

462
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: when I'm going to yoga, you're gonna think this is weird.

463
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: But I have a sephor a store in my place.

464
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,439
Speaker 1: I put a little cream blush on before I go

465
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 1: to yoga.

466
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 2: Oh, I know I didn't it, and I always feel terrible,

467
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: but I have nothing.

468
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: It makes me feel so much better. And I always

469
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: I love two. I love getting I'm so girly like that,

470
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: right like I boys, like could you imagine my daughters?

471
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: But like I love putting myself together, right like it

472
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: makes me feel good about myself and I can put

473
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: my best foot forward. So I think that's actually a

474
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: really good New Year's resolution for you.

475
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think, on a lighter note, it's that.

476
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: I also think it's like what am I doing on

477
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 2: a day to day basis to that support my goals

478
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 2: and what I want my life to look like, Because

479
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: it's really about what's the bigger goal and then what

480
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: are you doing to actually reach it? And I think

481
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 2: for me, we always talk about gratitude is so important,

482
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: and you've had a gratitude journal forever. I feel like

483
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 2: I live in a very grateful space, but I need

484
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: more of a day to day reminder.

485
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to value that journal because honestly, it is.

486
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: I just sent it to a friend. It's this like

487
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: dear Universe manifestation journal, and it is. It's a quick

488
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: morning exercise and a quick night time exercise. But it

489
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: is so valuable and it is so centering for me

490
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: as I start my day, and centering for me as

491
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: I go to sleep at night. It's super reflective. It

492
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: takes zero time, and it talks about like what are

493
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 1: you manifesting for the day, what are you grateful for

494
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: from the night before? And look, you know, I spend

495
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 1: a lot of time. For example, in the first of

496
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: every month, I have a journal where I write, what

497
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: do I have this month that I didn't have last month?

498
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 1: What did I accomplish this month that I didn't accomplish

499
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: last month? And I really believe in manifesting. And I

500
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,679
Speaker 1: could sit here and tell you, which would negate our

501
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,239
Speaker 1: entire podcast, that I am manifesting a husband, but I'm not.

502
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: I think what I'm manifesting for twenty twenty five is

503
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 1: the ability to stay a little more. Even holidays are

504
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: tough for me, right like it's Stephan my childhood. You know,

505
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: I did not grow up in the environment that you did, right.

506
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: I had parents who had a really ugly divorced Holidays

507
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: were hard for me. Christmas was hard for me. And

508
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: I think what I'm really learning, what I want to

509
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: manifest is staying even right. Like it's a lot of

510
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: black and white with me right, not a lot of gray.

511
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: And I think that that's my biggest, my biggest lesson

512
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: that I need to do, and you're really good at it,

513
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: and you really talk me off the ledge. I had

514
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 1: some tears this week, and that's what I really that's

515
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: what my lesson is, right, Like I can put myself together,

516
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:50,959
Speaker 1: I can load the face up of makeup, I can

517
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: do all that. It's for me more of the kind

518
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: of internal sturdiness.

519
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: And that's so funny because I think that's why I

520
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 2: think we are such good friends, is that we our

521
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 2: strengths and weaknesses are very different and for me, which

522
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 2: I admire about you. Yeah, and that's I think. Another

523
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 2: question is who are we surrounding ourselves with which I'll

524
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: finish my point, but I think that that's a big

525
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 2: piece of this. But is like you, I want to

526
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 2: start saying yes to more things. And so for me,

527
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 2: I am looking forward like one month and say, okay,

528
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 2: what am I doing this month? That makes me feel

529
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: a little uncomfortable.

530
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: So start that like what I do. Start it and

531
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 1: I have your notes section and hold yourself accountable.

532
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going on a ski trip with these girls

533
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: in February that It's totally not my usual scene. It's

534
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 2: a different group. They're all really really close friends. They

535
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 2: invite me every year, and this year I said yes,

536
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 2: And you.

537
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: Never know what can happen. I always say to my

538
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: kids too, like just say yes, don't limit yourself, right,

539
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 1: But I think to go back to your point, like

540
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 1: we are who we surround yourself with. And I've had

541
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: to make a lot of changes in friendships over the

542
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 1: last few years, which has been super super painful for me.

543
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: But instead of looking at the whole or the change

544
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: or the lack, I sit there and I look at

545
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: my table at five ten, whatever it is, and I

546
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: feel so grateful because you guys all light me up

547
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: and fill me up. That if I never found a

548
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: husband again and I just had all of you to

549
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 1: live in an old age home, I could not love

550
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: my friends, more, I have cleared house, I have the

551
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: greatest group of women in my life surrounding me that

552
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: make me a way better version of myself. And I

553
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 1: am beyond grateful. And I think that the whole point

554
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: of life, other than health is gratitude, right, Like, focus

555
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: on what we do have, not what we don't have. Right.

556
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: And then the more you focus on what we do have,

557
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: the more blessings that are going to come our way.

558
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: And just be a kind and a good person and

559
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: be nice to people. It's amazing to me in this

560
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: world how people just don't think about other people. It

561
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: feels good to give, It feels good to be.

562
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: Thoughtful completely, and there's so much power in that, right

563
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: when you are helping other people or reaching out to

564
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: other people or giving a compliment. I mean so often

565
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 2: my kids always make fun of me because I'll be somewhere,

566
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: I'll be at this grocery store, I'll be somewhere, I'll

567
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: be like, oh my gosh, you have amazing eyes. And

568
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 2: they're always like that is so creepy, Like why did

569
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 2: you tell that woman that she has, you know, beautiful eyes?

570
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: And I was like, because you know what, I felt it,

571
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: I saw it and I and you see how people

572
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 2: react when you give a genuine compliment. I'm not saying

573
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: compliment people for no reason, do you know what I mean?

574
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 1: I agree, I mean especially women complimenting other women and

575
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: supporting women. But I feel like, you know, doing for others.

576
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I will tell you Thanksgiving. I live in

577
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: a building, as you know, and I have doorman and ballets,

578
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: and I love these guys so much. And it was

579
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving and there's there's two there's a turn there's the

580
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: day turnover and then the night turnover. And so I

581
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: went down on Thanksgiving during the day and I said

582
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: to the guys, said hey, I want to order you,

583
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: you know, brunch, you know, for working on Thanksgiving. And

584
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: they're like, oh my god, that's so nice. Whatever, And

585
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: then I sent Thanksgiving dinner to the dinner crew. And

586
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: the next morning, when I went down to get my car,

587
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: they came up to me and they said, you're the

588
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: only person in this building who offered to send us

589
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: anything for Thanksgiving. I was, first of all, I was

590
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: so sad that in a building of one hundred people,

591
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: nobody else thought to send these people Thanksgiving dinner and

592
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: show them our gratitude for all that they do for us.

593
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 2: I love.

594
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: For me, giving feels way more better than receiving. We

595
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: did our secret sanding yesterday. I love to give, you know,

596
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: and I want my kids to learn this. It's important

597
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: to me because it does feel good. I think volunteering

598
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: is good for the soul. I think giving. You know.

599
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: The other day, you know, we always go to a

600
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: restaurant and the valet, for some reason, remembers us. He

601
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: is the nicest guy, and as we're getting out of

602
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: the car, he said, oh, you know, do they serve

603
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 1: your dinner every night? And so pulled out here. He's like, no,

604
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: they don't serve us dinner. And I was like oh.

605
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: So in my head I was like, what's your favorite

606
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 1: thing on the menu and he's like, oh, it's the

607
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: you know, it's the pulled pork. And I was like okay.

608
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: So took the boys into the restaurant, sat down at

609
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: the table we were ordering, and I said to the

610
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: waitress I'd like to get the pulled pork to go.

611
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 1: And my kids it was like a light bulb went

612
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: off in their heads, like, oh my god, Mom got

613
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: Me's so nice. I walked out, you know, after dinner,

614
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 1: I handed him the pulled pork and I said, enjoy

615
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: your dinner, and he said, he's like, oh my god.

616
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: I mean it was like and it felt so good.

617
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: Nothing made me feel higher than that.

618
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet that was the greatest feeling. Probably better

619
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: than any good date.

620
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: You know, it's better than any good date.

621
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 2: The overall motto for the year for me is if

622
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: nothing changes, nothing changes. And so I think you know,

623
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 2: eighty percent of the time, ninety percent of time, I

624
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 2: love my life, gratitude, feel like it's full. I don't

625
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: feel like I'm missing anything. But when I do find

626
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 2: myself in contemplative or reflective periods where I do feel

627
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 2: like something is off, I'm really trying to catch myself

628
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: and better identify what is it that I'm really feeling.

629
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: Right, And if you want change, you have to be changed,

630
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,239
Speaker 1: and nothing drops out of sky, like you can't fix it.

631
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: For me, if I'm feeling small or sad, I have

632
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 1: to think to myself, Thelma, what can I do to

633
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 1: make myself feel better in this moment? Right Like it

634
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: is a choice for me to either fall apart and

635
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: wallow and feel sad or literally find an action, create

636
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: an action that I can do to then, you know,

637
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: change my mindset and kind of get quote recentered completely.

638
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: And the key word is action. You know, it's proactively

639
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: going through our lives as opposed to reactively or passively

640
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 2: is even better. You know. I think that we can

641
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 2: control how we feel and we can control our lens

642
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 2: and we're not putting it in shame on us. I

643
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: mean shame on us if we have our health.

644
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: Look, guys, nothing is more important than health. Period. We

645
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: can change every single thing in our life anything. And

646
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: I always say to my children too, like when you

647
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: hear about these awful suicides, I say, nothing is worth

648
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: at Like you can change anything in your life. And

649
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: I think that you know, sitting in pain and wallowing

650
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: in pain and depression, like you have to try to

651
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: snap out of it as quickly as you got to

652
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 1: feel it, right, like you got to experience.

653
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: And acknowledge it. I think it's important for acknowledge.

654
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: It and not shove it under the rug. But at

655
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: the same time, you have to mobilize right and and

656
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: and push yourself. It's like a breakup, right, Like we

657
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: all get our ass handed to us and a breakup

658
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 1: and it is heartbreaking. You know, I was listening to

659
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: that Mel Robbins Breakup podcast, which is amazing, Like you

660
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: got to feel it, you got to go through it,

661
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: and then you got to pick yourself up by your footstraps.

662
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: And you need to say rejection is redirection. There is

663
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 1: something better coming for me. I am ready, I am open,

664
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: I am excited.

665
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: Because people feel that and people want to be around that.

666
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 2: You know. It's like, you know, you always hear about

667
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 2: these like are you an energy sucker or you know

668
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 2: what I mean? Or do you give people energy?

669
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: Right? Do you light people up? Or are you a victim?

670
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to be run a victim all the time.

671
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: No, it's pathetic. And by the way, when I am

672
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 2: around people that are sitting there complaining or wallowing about

673
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: being single, I literally like, oh my god, like you

674
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 2: are tragic. And that's what I think.

675
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: I mean, Well, desperation is so obvious, I mean honestly,

676
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: like people pick up on that energy, right, Like you

677
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 1: have to love yourself so other people can love us.

678
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: We don't fall in love with ourselves.

679
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: Completely, and so looking in the mirror and taking stock

680
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 2: of like where you could be a better version of yourself,

681
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 2: Like I think that's important. And while you are so

682
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: called waiting for some or mister right to come along, like,

683
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: there's plenty of time to work on yourself.

684
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: Will be missus right yourself? Yeah, I don't know, man,

685
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 1: the game of life, it's like peaks and valleys. It's

686
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: learning to navigate. It's just learning to deal with the

687
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: curve balls that come our way and the roadblocks and

688
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 1: the winds and the losses.

689
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: You only get one life, and so we should really

690
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: be living it to the fullest, you know, and.

691
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: At the very least you know that weighted best and

692
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: are whipping around Homebye Park together and laughing. Is you know,

693
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: it gives me a lot of joy. It gives me

694
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: joy to live a parallel life with like you or

695
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 1: you know, somebody as we're kind of navigating all of

696
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 1: it together because I don't feel alone. I don't have

697
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,720
Speaker 1: a partner, I don't have a husband, but I am

698
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 1: not alone because of you or people like you in

699
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 1: my life.

700
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 2: You know, it's really funny when you say that. I

701
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: think back to I don't know if you watch The

702
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 2: Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I did.

703
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: I didn't, and I have to tell you.

704
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 2: Should because it it is the best lesson in life.

705
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 2: And I feel like if you line ten people up,

706
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to speak for everybody, but

707
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 2: I bet large majority of people would say that they

708
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 2: found it far more intriguing to watch the twenty bachelors,

709
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 2: you knowamine in the room and how they interacted and

710
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 2: found one another versus the standalone dates and wondering do

711
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 2: you mean what guy was going to get the girl?

712
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: It was like it was just it was so representative

713
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 2: of life, and I feel like the guys that went

714
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: on that show kind of back to the friendships are

715
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 2: the most important thing. They they found so much. They

716
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 2: found people that they could empathize with, they could communicate with,

717
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: they had similar interests like the friendships. When they got

718
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 2: kicked off the show, they were most sad about leaving

719
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 2: each other, and not that they didn't like the girl,

720
00:35:58,760 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean, or like the guy

721
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: when it was the bachelor. That was the experience, and

722
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 2: I think it helped them get them out of their

723
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 2: comfort zone to know that in real life they could start,

724
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: you know, taking steps to go on dates. But it

725
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 2: was like finding kindred spirits and people out there that

726
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 2: like they could relate to it. It was seriously like

727
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 2: it was beautiful, Thelma.

728
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: What new things do we want to push ourselves to

729
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 1: do in twenty twenty five? I can tell you what

730
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: I think we should do. Well, I know what I

731
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: would really like to do if I can somehow swing

732
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: it is. I would love to go live somewhere else

733
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: for a month. I think that would be really good

734
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: for me to experience somewhere new by myself for a

735
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: month and see what changes can come my way. And

736
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: at the very least, I can start by going to

737
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: have dinner at South Beverly World by myself at the bar,

738
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,879
Speaker 1: which will be absolutely terrifying. But I think that would

739
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: be a really good challenge for me.

740
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: And didn't you maybe see your ex boyfriend alone at

741
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: the bar there? So that might be a little awkward.

742
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 2: I think we might need a new spot.

743
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: Yes, for sure. I mean anything by the way that

744
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: was awful. But I think those kind of challenges we

745
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: need to do. What about you, how are you going

746
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 1: to challenge yourself?

747
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: Well, I told you, I think I'm gonna I'm going

748
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: to move for the summer right to where we always go,

749
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: but stay stay there for the summer.

750
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know this is this true? Yeah? Wait, no,

751
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: I can I come be the.

752
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 2: A lone purpose. But I've been thinking about doing that. Yeah,

753
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: I mean I talked about it with my young aunt

754
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: and she really wants to work there for the summer,

755
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: and she's able to get a job there, So thinking

756
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 2: that like picking up and moving for the sun, just rip.

757
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: The rug out from underneath my feet.

758
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: Well, maybe I can visit you in your location and

759
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 2: you can visit me.

760
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: No, I'm coming with you period, or I might be remarried.

761
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: And I'm joking. This has been so fun. I love

762
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: doing this. I love talking about all of this because

763
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: we are just normal. We're not celebrities. We're normal, we're older,

764
00:37:56,080 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: we're bumbling along, you know, trying on a bunch of

765
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: different things, winning at some succeeding at other. But I

766
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: have to say, you know, it's all normal, it's all

767
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: par for the course. And at the very least, you know, I.

768
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 2: Have no regrets.

769
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hopefully you know, these listeners find us, you know,

770
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 1: doing what they're doing, and you know, throw us some questions,

771
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: reach out to us. What do you want to hear?

772
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: What do you want to talk about? We're really open books.

773
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: We can be totally self deprecating. We do not take

774
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: our life ourselves too seriously. And we're here so you know,

775
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: real people going through it and you know, not totally

776
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,919
Speaker 1: winning all the time. They are really sometimes, but let's

777
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: be real, there are hard moments.

778
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's why you have your friends.

779
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: Right, So call us, email us, follow us on our socials.

780
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: You know, look at the show notes, all of our

781
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: info is there. Falling in love is the main objective,

782
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: but while you're not in love, loving your life is

783
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 1: the main objective and loving yourself agree. Happy holidays, take

784
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 1: care