Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, who's there?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 1: Chelsea?
Speaker 3: Am I speaking to a number one New York Times
Speaker 3: bestselling author?
Speaker 1: Yes you are?
Speaker 4: Yes, you are six six times over number one New
Speaker 4: York Times bestselling author The Phone Call.
Speaker 1: I will never get tired of getting in my entire life.
Speaker 1: I can't believe it.
Speaker 4: Oh my really didn't think I was going to be
Speaker 4: number one this time. I don't know where I got
Speaker 4: that in my head, but I really didn't. I just thought, oh,
Speaker 4: it doesn't matter what number I am. I'll be grateful
Speaker 4: to be on the list. And I'm with number one.
Speaker 4: And then I thought, oh my god, it happened again.
Speaker 4: This is my seventh book and my sixth number one
Speaker 4: New York Times bestseller. Hell, yes, so Yes, hard work
Speaker 4: pays off, that's the truth.
Speaker 3: Yes, and you have been working hard. You've been making
Speaker 3: the rounds. You're everywhere right now.
Speaker 1: And it's really exciting to see. I'm currently in south
Speaker 1: By Southwest. I'm in Austin, not south By Southwest.
Speaker 4: I feel like someone drugged me three days ago because
Speaker 4: my head is so unclear.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what happened yesterday. I didn't even have
Speaker 1: a drink.
Speaker 4: I had four panels and I still feel like someone
Speaker 4: drugged me. So I'm like, what is Maybe I did
Speaker 4: drug me and forgot.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, if anyone drugged you, the most
Speaker 3: likely culprit is you.
Speaker 1: This is true, This is true.
Speaker 3: Well, congratulations is so exciting and I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4: Everybody who's listening. I hope you've ordered my book or
Speaker 4: you ordered it downloaded an audible or whatever. But yet
Speaker 4: I'll have what she's having because it's going around, and
Speaker 4: I have my European dates up. All of my European
Speaker 4: dates are officially up now and for sale on Chelsea
Speaker 4: Himler dot com. And I'll be in Vegas March twenty
Speaker 4: first for a live new Brand news stand up show
Speaker 4: March twenty first and April nineteenth, or my next.
Speaker 1: Two Vegas states for our fans.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm so excited. Our guest today, she is so fantastic.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, this is a comedian, so you're in for
Speaker 4: a good treat and conversation and a female comedian, someone
Speaker 4: who I have known for years, but I've never really
Speaker 4: oh no, I used to have her on Chelsea Lately
Speaker 4: all the time, but I haven't seen her in years Anyway,
Speaker 4: she's hilarious and her name is actually pronounced Eliza Schlessendurr
Speaker 4: schlessing gurr. Fuck, it's Eliza Schlessing Gurr. So and she
Speaker 4: has a new special aut So everybody please go and
Speaker 4: watch that. You got to support female comedy guys and girls,
Speaker 4: and you've got to see these pants, and you've got
Speaker 4: to see these pants. Please welcome Eliza's lesson.
Speaker 5: Gerr.
Speaker 2: I have a rule about hot food on a plane. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can't bring hot food. I hear that because everybody
Speaker 2: can smell.
Speaker 1: It, right herbled eggs is a cold food, you know what.
Speaker 1: It's just visually gross, but I guess they don't smell.
Speaker 6: It's not like sulfur. But it is the idea of
Speaker 6: it as.
Speaker 5: Great should be more than just It shouldn't just be
Speaker 5: hot food. It should there's there should be a list
Speaker 5: of things that are not tenable for a flight, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean? Because hardboiled eggs perfect example of
Speaker 5: those could be fine in a container, in a ziplock container,
Speaker 5: but as soon as you open the seal, then everyone
Speaker 5: as exposed to that, so you need to swallow those
Speaker 5: whole or like.
Speaker 2: The Yeah, Mario two, is that gonna vibe with anyone
Speaker 2: who listens to this member the egg creature that.
Speaker 1: Would set off the eggs. Okay, I missed that game.
Speaker 5: And remember when times were so simple that you could
Speaker 5: play Super Mario Brothers. I used to get up at
Speaker 5: my friend's sleepovers. We would be like ten eleven years old.
Speaker 1: And I would set my alarm.
Speaker 5: I don't know why I was traveling with an alarm,
Speaker 5: but I would get up orly. I got set so
Speaker 5: that I could get on the Maria Super Mario Brothers
Speaker 5: before the other girls at the sleepover woke up.
Speaker 1: Because it's like, no, no, no, I'm already on. You can't
Speaker 1: push me off. I was not a schedule. So obsessed.
Speaker 1: I miss being that obsessed with something.
Speaker 2: Oh I feel like we are obsessed and we don't
Speaker 2: realize it.
Speaker 6: Like now it's just called an addiction.
Speaker 1: Of the phone. You mean, oh yeah, social media.
Speaker 6: I have to take it off. I have to take
Speaker 6: it off every day and put.
Speaker 1: It back on. Where do you take it off of?
Speaker 2: I take it off my phone, and then I might
Speaker 2: take it off of your phone, take it off Instagram,
Speaker 2: and then I have to do this walk of shame
Speaker 2: where I scroll back to find the password that my
Speaker 2: social media manager keeps for me. But rather than ask her,
Speaker 2: I just have it stored to like I'm lying to her,
Speaker 2: Like it's somewhere in my phone and I just go
Speaker 2: and I get it and I just erase it every night.
Speaker 1: And sounds like you're lying to her and to yourself.
Speaker 1: I am, this isrloss.
Speaker 5: You're so that makes me want to have a coffee.
Speaker 5: And I don't even drink coffee.
Speaker 7: Snack.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have a snack with that little cookie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. So we're at a nice hotel somewhere far,
Speaker 1: far away. I would love a coffee. Thank you. Okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, Eliza Selessinger is here.
Speaker 5: She has a new special out which is fucking funny
Speaker 5: as shit. It's called a Different Animal. Are you the
Speaker 5: animal or is the special the animal?
Speaker 1: Both?
Speaker 2: I'm the I was just I'm it's different. I think
Speaker 2: I'm different. I think I wanted to create something different.
Speaker 1: I have to say.
Speaker 2: First of all, your house is so beautiful, and everyone
Speaker 2: knows you have so much money.
Speaker 1: Well why does everyone think I have so much money?
Speaker 1: I don't understand where the archways.
Speaker 6: It would never occur to me to redo the arch
Speaker 6: like doorways.
Speaker 2: I walked in and you're like, I watched your special
Speaker 2: and then for a second I was like, oh no,
Speaker 2: she saw an old one, and like she thinks it's
Speaker 2: the new one. Someone sent you a link, which is
Speaker 2: like peak Hollywood Elite. No other podcast had a link.
Speaker 6: And I'm like, yeah, because you have people that get
Speaker 6: the links.
Speaker 1: That is so funny. I mean, you got to sneak.
Speaker 6: Nobody has seen this and so I'm blown away, well.
Speaker 5: As the first person that's officially seen this special. Besides,
Speaker 5: I'm assuming you or maybe you haven't even seen it
Speaker 5: yet because you don't even have the link.
Speaker 1: I can forward you the link if you want.
Speaker 5: I want to say, Ay, you're very prolific as a
Speaker 5: stand up. This is your seven stand up special. This
Speaker 5: one is on Amazon Prime. Everybody and Amazon and Hulu
Speaker 5: are getting into stand up special so like those are
Speaker 5: good places to watch them too, And everyone now has
Speaker 5: Amazon Prime. I'm assuming I guess not as many people
Speaker 5: as Netflix, but it is prevalent and pervasive. I say
Speaker 5: that is pervasive. Amazon itself is pervasive. But you have
Speaker 5: such a talent. Thank you, you really do. You really have
Speaker 5: a great My stand up is very much storytelling, and
Speaker 5: you know personal story. You have a very clear talent
Speaker 5: of structuring jokes, premises, punchlines.
Speaker 1: Would you even talk about in the special?
Speaker 5: You mentioned in the special, But I love your focus
Speaker 5: on the different generations about millennials because I don't even
Speaker 5: know what am?
Speaker 1: What am I?
Speaker 5: Your generation x x X Okay, so it goes from
Speaker 5: generation X then millennial.
Speaker 1: I hoping i'd say gen Z.
Speaker 5: I hope not Noo. Yeah, fucking annoying gen Z. So
Speaker 5: then gen X No, I'm goes.
Speaker 2: It goes well if you go youngest to whatever, it's alpha,
Speaker 2: which is what my child is or will be gen
Speaker 2: Z millennial millennial or xennial millennial, elder millennial, which is
Speaker 2: what I am Generation X baby boomer, silent generation, and
Speaker 2: then our forefathers.
Speaker 5: Okay, so I just know that I'm not a boomer,
Speaker 5: so I'm the generation after the boomer, Okay.
Speaker 1: I really I mean.
Speaker 5: And also when you look up generations, it's like sometimes
Speaker 5: they say, oh, eleven to fifteen years and then sometimes
Speaker 5: it's a decade, and it's there's different definitions of it all.
Speaker 5: But never mind that you and your special, you really
Speaker 5: delineate what the differences are between all of these with
Speaker 5: a lot of attitude and anger towards towards younger generations
Speaker 5: from not.
Speaker 6: Working title attitude and anger, a lot.
Speaker 5: Picking up the baton after you guys, After millennials just
Speaker 5: like laid out everything for future generations, They're just like, wait,
Speaker 5: what what do we do?
Speaker 1: The first of all, I would.
Speaker 5: Just like to go on the record and say boomers
Speaker 5: are the worst ones because they ruined our planet and
Speaker 5: they they did they well they did now they had
Speaker 5: a lot of baby.
Speaker 1: Can I say something apologists? Not of them were apologists.
Speaker 1: She's an elder millennial boomer apologist. I have to say.
Speaker 2: There's this thing I wrote about this in my book,
Speaker 2: like when you accuse a generation of something like what
Speaker 2: are we expecting that boomers are going to collectively come
Speaker 2: together and be like we're so sorry when we all
Speaker 2: have those Amazon accounts, like we all postmate stuff, we
Speaker 2: all order stuff from overnight. So while they may have
Speaker 2: laid the groundwork in terms of like disruptive oil practices
Speaker 2: and stuff like that, like we contribute to it with
Speaker 2: every frivolous purchase, with every sheen hall, boomers didn't invent that.
Speaker 1: So they laid the groundwork but the.
Speaker 2: Perpetuation of it is definitely on all of our shoulders,
Speaker 2: especially generation Zee.
Speaker 1: What is a sheene hall.
Speaker 2: A sheene hall is where you buy a bunch of
Speaker 2: clothes from Sheen from like fast fashion, and then you
Speaker 2: try them all on and then you kind of throw
Speaker 2: them away, but they were gonna dissolve anyway, and that
Speaker 2: like rose to popularity in the pandemic, so you'd get
Speaker 2: people that weren't really mindful, didn't really I guess we're
Speaker 2: ignorant too. Fast fashion and that like Sheen and H
Speaker 2: and M are like the number one pollutants of fast
Speaker 2: fashion on this planet. So you would just order like
Speaker 2: fifty pieces of clothes for like a dollar, and you'd
Speaker 2: try them all on and then maybe you throw them away,
Speaker 2: you know, or something like that.
Speaker 1: And so that's that's what a sheen hall is.
Speaker 8: Okay.
Speaker 5: I thought you were going to say, then you return
Speaker 5: everything because you don't want it.
Speaker 2: No, some would say that's even worse for the planet,
Speaker 2: because then it's going back on.
Speaker 5: Anyone who doing that isn't caring about it, doesn't care
Speaker 5: about the planet. Anybody's ordering a bunch of clothes, trying
Speaker 5: them on and returning them is.
Speaker 2: Not or keeping them and they go nowhere or you
Speaker 2: donate them, but nobody wants them so cheap.
Speaker 1: Every podcast I.
Speaker 6: Do, like I come back to like sustainability, and people
Speaker 6: just like.
Speaker 1: Turn it off, go back to Justin Belgone.
Speaker 5: It's like that October seventh, let's talk about Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: that's the last time we saw each other right after
Speaker 5: the at a jew event right after October seventh.
Speaker 1: Okay, but can I can? I?
Speaker 2: You came. I invited you. I put on a benefit
Speaker 2: and they were like, who.
Speaker 1: Else can we invite?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I have Chelsea Handler's email and
Speaker 2: I don't think she knows I have it. And I
Speaker 2: emailed you and you wrote back and you came, and
Speaker 2: that like elevated the event, like I tried to already,
Speaker 2: like we had tried to have some cool people there,
Speaker 2: but like we don't know each other that well.
Speaker 6: And the fact that you were like, yeah, I'll be there,
Speaker 6: I was just.
Speaker 2: Like that was such a cool moment where you definitely
Speaker 2: did not have to answer that email and you definitely
Speaker 2: did not have to show up, and like I felt
Speaker 2: like anointed into like a cool comedian hall of fame.
Speaker 1: That's just you and I well, I'm glad I went.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I went, I'm glad you came to Okay, So
Speaker 5: I don't want you to have to talk about sustainability,
Speaker 5: but we can talk about shower sex. Let's talk about
Speaker 5: schower sex. Let's talk about I want to know who
Speaker 5: is having chower sex. This is a topic that Eliza
Speaker 5: covers in her special in a hilarious way, and it's
Speaker 5: kind of a you know, kind of calling out all
Speaker 5: men who are stupid enough to believe. I don't care
Speaker 5: how hot your relationship is, or how new it is,
Speaker 5: or how horny you and your partner are, or your
Speaker 5: you and your throutle are. You know, I don't want
Speaker 5: to discriminate. Maybe you have more than one lever and
Speaker 5: a group, but no one wants to fuck in the shower.
Speaker 1: It's not fun.
Speaker 5: No woman's sexy, it's not and your penis doesn't no
Speaker 5: one can feel anything. Also, nobody ever talks about the
Speaker 5: fact that you can't you kill your penis inside of
Speaker 5: vagina when you're in the shower.
Speaker 2: When you're stressing, and like this idea that like, oh,
Speaker 2: let's have shower sex. I'm like, we're not two gay
Speaker 2: guys at a crunch on like a Thursday, Like, we're
Speaker 2: not fucking in a shower.
Speaker 5: Why do people That's another thing I want to discuss.
Speaker 5: Thank you for bringing it up. It's like you have ESPN.
Speaker 5: Why are people fucking at gym? Like gay men specifically?
Speaker 5: I know some gay men who specifically go to the
Speaker 5: gym just to give blowjobs in the sauna.
Speaker 2: I don't understand giving a blowjob, but I understand. I
Speaker 2: feel like if you're a gay guy, it's like extra testosterone.
Speaker 6: So it's like at level ten all the time, and.
Speaker 2: You're like, I gotta get it in because most men would,
Speaker 2: like my husband is like you just tell me, you
Speaker 2: just tell me when he's like I'm always ready, and so.
Speaker 1: It's like it's that times too. You're like, thank you,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know, But the showers, it's just more
Speaker 2: like you following me in here thinking I'm turning like
Speaker 2: I'm here to shave my armpits and like give the
Speaker 2: illusion of a bikini line, and you followed me in.
Speaker 6: I guess we have a bench in here.
Speaker 2: One person is always cold, one person's always uncomfortable, the
Speaker 2: lube gets washed away, perhaps in your.
Speaker 5: Oh why are you suggesting that you use lube in
Speaker 5: the shower?
Speaker 1: I guess you should.
Speaker 5: It's actually the opposite of a luber can't watter because
Speaker 5: have you ever tried to fuck in the ocean.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing.
Speaker 5: It's the same thing, you know, Yeah, you can't get
Speaker 5: It's like you need actually you need a lubricant, but
Speaker 5: who's going to bring a lubricant to the Like you
Speaker 5: get into the ocean and then lubricate when you're underwater.
Speaker 1: It's just all anti It's it's like counterintuitive.
Speaker 2: You have a whole continuousy of like mermaid fans that
Speaker 2: are like, actually I find aquatic sex.
Speaker 1: I think it all just makes aquatics.
Speaker 2: I think it just speaks to like a woman's comfort
Speaker 2: not being taken into account. And when you're in your twenties,
Speaker 2: you're just like, yeah, i'll do that. It's hot, but
Speaker 2: like you're not loving it, no, like, and you're cold,
Speaker 2: and you're looking down at your feet, which your toes
Speaker 2: are spread apart so you can get a grip, and
Speaker 2: you've got your chicken.
Speaker 1: Feet and your hair.
Speaker 2: I have curly hair, and so the whole time I'm
Speaker 2: just like, do I look like the monster from Barbarian like.
Speaker 1: Which is like, or does your husband's care? Answer? No,
Speaker 1: he doesn't care.
Speaker 2: I care, And if I don't feel hot, then it
Speaker 2: can't happen. And then if I do feel sexy, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm too busy taking a picture of how hot I
Speaker 2: look to have sex right now?
Speaker 5: Is that why you wore those pants during your special
Speaker 5: to show people how hot you are?
Speaker 1: You need to explain those pants to me? You don't
Speaker 1: like him? Well, I'm not going to pretend that.
Speaker 5: I go, I mean, you have, you have an incredible body,
Speaker 5: and I like that. I like that, I like that
Speaker 5: you show it off and I understand that.
Speaker 1: But those pants, I was just like, why, Yeah, why
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't tell you why because I can, and I
Speaker 2: think as a woman, I think the more Carlos come
Speaker 2: on in, Carlos bring that business.
Speaker 1: No reason you shouldn't become part of this podcast. This
Speaker 1: is so cute. It's so cute. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: if this is available in my own home. It's so continental.
Speaker 1: That's how rich I am. You guys, I didn't even
Speaker 1: know I had to. She just met Carlos, she didn't
Speaker 1: even know he was here.
Speaker 2: I saw, I'm and I love I love a fun
Speaker 2: pant and the pants that I wore on my last special, I.
Speaker 1: Remember a similar outfit.
Speaker 2: It's a similar silhouette and I didn't mean to fall
Speaker 2: into it, but we all, you know you dress for
Speaker 2: your body type.
Speaker 1: What's your body type?
Speaker 6: Well, the thighs are all like I started doing pilates.
Speaker 1: It's different, but I don't know strong core.
Speaker 5: Excuse me one second. I don't want to cough over
Speaker 5: you pair the okay, go ahead, just I mean.
Speaker 2: It's just I don't know. I don't like to wear
Speaker 2: a skirt on stage because I move around a lot.
Speaker 2: Like there's just things that you that you find empowering.
Speaker 2: And people were so upset about the last pant and
Speaker 2: I was like, no, those pants are fire, these pants.
Speaker 1: I was scrolling through a.
Speaker 2: Rave party wear website, as one does when they're trying
Speaker 2: to conceive a child. I had had my daughter, and
Speaker 2: I don't remember if I had just gotten pregnant with
Speaker 2: Ethan or we were thinking about it.
Speaker 1: But I saw those pants and there was something about him.
Speaker 2: I was like, those do you ever buy like an
Speaker 2: article of clothing and you're like, I don't have an
Speaker 2: event now, but I know I will.
Speaker 6: Does that ever happen to you or do you have someone
Speaker 6: dress you?
Speaker 1: Oh god, no, I know what you mean.
Speaker 2: I saw them and I was like, they're just I
Speaker 2: liked that they had the microflare, Like I just I
Speaker 2: was like, that's something aspirational. So I bought them, and
Speaker 2: then I was pregnant for a full year and then
Speaker 2: I just worked out every day with those, Like my
Speaker 2: trainer would be like hips pants pants, like think about
Speaker 2: the pants, and I just they reminded me of share
Speaker 2: like turn back down, and I just know that there
Speaker 2: will be a day that I shouldn't wear those pants, right,
Speaker 2: And I just thought that they were cool enough while
Speaker 2: not being super distracting. Do we had to iron out
Speaker 2: the bulkiness of them in photoshop because they don't lay
Speaker 2: right because they're like made of cheap plastic. Maybe, But
Speaker 2: I just was like, these pants will upset enough people, yes,
Speaker 2: and enliven people, and it'll at least be a talking point.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well you're right, it is a talking point. So
Speaker 5: good for you, mausotop, thank you. I was just I
Speaker 5: thought they were just cool and I just liked them. Well,
Speaker 5: I like that you It doesn't really matter if I
Speaker 5: like them or not, it matters that you take a
Speaker 5: risk and are like, you know, stepping into your own power,
Speaker 5: and like, I'm gonna fucking wear these pants.
Speaker 1: That's all that really matters.
Speaker 2: That's what I mean. And also I do feel empowered
Speaker 2: in them, and I do. It's like an extension of
Speaker 2: who you are on stage. And I also think I
Speaker 2: come from a generation of stand up and I definitely
Speaker 2: was a huge part of this, Like just wearing a
Speaker 2: hoodie on stage. I think there's a I think there's
Speaker 2: a video of view of like at the Ice House
Speaker 2: like four hundred years ago, and you're wearing a hoodie, right, Like,
Speaker 2: I feel like we women weren't encouraged to do that.
Speaker 2: And now I look at younger girls and they're just
Speaker 2: like in a bra on stage and they don't think
Speaker 2: about it, and I think that that's great, And so
Speaker 2: I have to push myself to be like, no, you
Speaker 2: can wear these things. You don't have to cover up,
Speaker 2: and you can just be yourself on stage. And so
Speaker 2: when I do large shows, I feel.
Speaker 9: Do you.
Speaker 5: When I came up, I was always trying to play
Speaker 5: down my looks and be more tomboys, and I've never
Speaker 5: really like I've never really worn a dress on stage
Speaker 5: or a skirt on stage, Like even when I used
Speaker 5: to wear heels on stage, I'm like, this is so annoying,
Speaker 5: Like this is not who.
Speaker 1: I would ever be in real life.
Speaker 5: But did you feel like you had to dial down
Speaker 5: your looks when you were eyeing up?
Speaker 2: I think it's something that people talked about, But I like,
Speaker 2: you can't.
Speaker 1: Be funny and pretty, so cool it with the pretty?
Speaker 2: Oh it was more normally it was an accusation like
Speaker 2: funny and pretty, like what's the catch, And you're like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, You're really ugly, so obviously it's the catch.
Speaker 1: I have herpes, that's the catch, and I have I'm dying.
Speaker 2: I am a tomboy, like I always grew up wearing
Speaker 2: big T shirts and not really you know, you maybe
Speaker 2: wear a tank top to a college bar when you're out,
Speaker 2: but on stage, I just was always comfortable as that,
Speaker 2: so I never went out of my way. But I
Speaker 2: always felt like, remember I wore white ripped jeans on
Speaker 2: stage at the Comedy Store in like twenty eleven and
Speaker 2: I had a bad set and I was like, must
Speaker 2: have been the jeans.
Speaker 1: We'll always dial it back and there is as a woman.
Speaker 2: When you come on stage, if you do have a
Speaker 2: good body and your dress sexy or it's revealing, especially
Speaker 2: if you're unknown, it does take the audience and extra
Speaker 2: ninety seconds to get over it. And I was always
Speaker 2: of the mindset like, Nope, I need to get you
Speaker 2: right up top because I've got something to say and
Speaker 2: I don't have these eight minutes. But as an adult,
Speaker 2: I try to take more time.
Speaker 8: Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're supper hands.
Speaker 5: I mean you do jam a lot of material into
Speaker 5: an hour. Yeah, And I don't mean jam as a negative.
Speaker 5: I mean you really get so much bang for your
Speaker 5: buck with every sentence, every joke, every premise you it's
Speaker 5: very full body.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I like that. It's very artistic.
Speaker 5: I appreciate that artist, and in the form of stand
Speaker 5: up like that's very very well done.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Chelsea Handler. That means a lot I do.
Speaker 2: I was watching some of Ali Wong the other day
Speaker 2: and she's very deliberate and she speaks will say slower
Speaker 2: than I do. I mean most auctioneers do. And I
Speaker 2: was watching that, I was like, I could have gotten
Speaker 2: two hours out of this if I just did like
Speaker 2: a long pace, if I just spoke like every other
Speaker 2: comic and just took my.
Speaker 1: I was like, there's an art to this.
Speaker 2: I gotta slow down and I won't have to work
Speaker 2: as hard to write, Like I can just have two
Speaker 2: hours out of this one.
Speaker 1: So doesn't it feel like stand up feels like such
Speaker 1: a hustle? Right?
Speaker 5: Like it is you're constantly if you're a stand up
Speaker 5: comedian and that's your main vocation. I mean, obviously we
Speaker 5: all have ancillary things we do, but like, if that's
Speaker 5: your main vocation, it is constant fucking hustle, traveling.
Speaker 6: I feel hustling and I do hustle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. I mean you're a real stand up
Speaker 1: you get it.
Speaker 2: Like it's not like something that you picked up once
Speaker 2: you became famous, which a lot of people do.
Speaker 1: I don't think people fully.
Speaker 2: Understand, like especially when you're an artist versus just a
Speaker 2: joke teller, Like when you actually do bleed for this
Speaker 2: and this is something that you that is you're married
Speaker 2: to in a sense, you are the engine. And I
Speaker 2: was actually thinking about that on the way over here,
Speaker 2: Like if I don't write, if I don't push myself
Speaker 2: to work out and to write this, there's no one
Speaker 2: writing it for me. There's no studio calling being like
Speaker 2: we're gonna put a team together.
Speaker 6: What's your next thing?
Speaker 2: If you don't write your books, if you don't create
Speaker 2: these things, especially when you're a funny woman, because no
Speaker 2: one can create the funny for you. People could, of
Speaker 2: course write you some jokes, but like the engine is me.
Speaker 2: And when I take a break, like there's no one
Speaker 2: knocking at the door, like are you done taking your break? Yes,
Speaker 2: I'm sure people would prefer I just take the break forever.
Speaker 1: Well, it's you're completely self reliant.
Speaker 2: There's no like, there's no safety net. Yeah, right, like
Speaker 2: the mortgages are in my name.
Speaker 5: But that's also kind of a nice thing that. Conversely,
Speaker 5: there's like a flip side of it, which is you're
Speaker 5: not really answering to anybody but yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so, yes, because I can't take those breaks.
Speaker 1: I can take that vacation.
Speaker 2: But I do feel that we've I think we're coming
Speaker 2: away from it now. But we did get to a
Speaker 2: place in comedy where you were answering to a very
Speaker 2: loud minority on the Internet. And those are the people
Speaker 2: that were canceling people, people that had nothing and were
Speaker 2: angry at you for trying, and those voices got amplified,
Speaker 2: so I was never answering to them, but there was
Speaker 2: like a stutter step, especially as a woman, because we're
Speaker 2: expected to be kinder and empathetic at every turn.
Speaker 6: Meanwhile, guys are like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: I got this underage hand job and it felt great,
Speaker 2: and uh yeah, maybe women shouldn't be allowed to read,
Speaker 2: and it's just like, oh, more of that, please, And
Speaker 2: I get up here. And if I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I chose to have.
Speaker 1: Two kids, it's like, why didn't you have three? Do
Speaker 1: you hate women who don't have kids?
Speaker 2: And you're just like, all right, you're constantly having to
Speaker 2: answer for what you have done and haven't done as
Speaker 2: a woman. And I think that we're swinging the other
Speaker 2: way where now you can kind of just make statements
Speaker 2: and not have to Well.
Speaker 5: Now that Trump is pregnant, pregnant, now that he's been
Speaker 5: pregnant for quite some time. But now that Trump is president,
Speaker 5: I'm sure all that political correctness everything's out the window.
Speaker 5: Something else you talk about in your stand up is,
Speaker 5: which I think is so great, when men congratulate other
Speaker 5: men for impregnating their wives, Like when Eliza's husband's friend.
Speaker 6: Or stranger stranger usually stranger.
Speaker 1: Right finds out that you're pregnant, especially.
Speaker 2: With a boy, especially, they love to know there's a
Speaker 2: boy in the world, right, but men will There's it's
Speaker 2: the weirdness, the dystopian weirdness of standing there while one
Speaker 2: man congratulates my husband, not me, on the pregnancy. I'm
Speaker 2: like he played the smallest part, like I am doing
Speaker 2: all the work, and it is like congratulations, six seconds,
Speaker 2: well done, and you're just standing there. It's super Handmaid's
Speaker 2: Tale and you're just like, well, I was just glad
Speaker 2: to receive.
Speaker 5: It's it's not their party, and what are they congratulating
Speaker 5: each other on.
Speaker 1: Seriously, though, when.
Speaker 5: You think about it, it's like, yeah, way to go,
Speaker 5: fuck your wife and get her pregnant.
Speaker 2: Way to go, way to go, because men love to
Speaker 2: know other men are having sex. And like two guys
Speaker 2: at a bar, if a guy leaves with a girl,
Speaker 2: a guy will just high five and be like a
Speaker 2: nice job.
Speaker 1: Women are like, don't go with him.
Speaker 2: That doesn't feel safe, Like we don't want anyone having sex, Yeah,
Speaker 2: we want and men or just like just however, you
Speaker 2: got to get it in and it's it's primal and
Speaker 2: it's the way they are.
Speaker 1: But I want the congratulations as well.
Speaker 5: You did you have sex with a lot of car
Speaker 5: or did you have a lot of boyfriend comics?
Speaker 1: No? Ever, No, none. You never dated a comic?
Speaker 2: I did, but so long ago, and I kind of
Speaker 2: just stayed out of it. But a big reason I did,
Speaker 2: and I think you can probably relate to this. I
Speaker 2: became a headliner so early in my career, so.
Speaker 1: From winning Last Comic Standing, Yes, and so.
Speaker 2: That was like twenty five, and so that's the time
Speaker 2: of your life where you are looking to at the time,
Speaker 2: mostly men who were in positions of power for validation
Speaker 2: to take you on the road. And it's not that
Speaker 2: women always sleep with those guys, but that I didn't
Speaker 2: need that from a man, and I certainly didn't want
Speaker 2: to date a coworker or someone who was less funny
Speaker 2: or successful than me.
Speaker 1: So that pool was pretty much shot.
Speaker 2: And I think men, you know, you try to date
Speaker 2: a male comic who doesn't do as well as you,
Speaker 2: they always get jealous. So I just never it was
Speaker 2: never my dating pool.
Speaker 8: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think if I made out with any
Speaker 1: of them. I don't even think so. I once had
Speaker 1: sex with Tom Roads. Do you know who Tom Roads is?
Speaker 6: I just canceled on a lineup he was on the
Speaker 6: other night.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I was like, did he do something? Was
Speaker 1: he canceled? He's very nice. He's a sweetheart. I once
Speaker 1: had sex looking Yeah he and yeah he is still
Speaker 1: good looking. He came up to me.
Speaker 5: We were at the n Airport Lounge the other day
Speaker 5: and he American and he I was with my cousin
Speaker 5: and he was like, hey, Chelsea just wanted to say hello,
Speaker 5: and I.
Speaker 1: Just thought he was he shook your hand.
Speaker 5: I thought he was a rando. Like I just thought
Speaker 5: he was a fan or something. And I said, oh, hi,
Speaker 5: nice to me. He goes, it's me Tom Rhodes. And
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh hi, Like because I did fuck him
Speaker 5: many many years ago in San Francisco, and it was
Speaker 5: one of those great experiences where you have a kind
Speaker 5: of fun one night stand. Like I never really dated
Speaker 5: that many comics. I mean, I know I did a
Speaker 5: Joe Coy, but that was like PostScript of like comedy
Speaker 5: coming up time. And he's one of those comics I
Speaker 5: had sex with. And when he walked away Molly's like,
Speaker 5: who is that. I'm like, oh, this comic Tom Roads.
Speaker 5: I had sex with him, like many many moons ago.
Speaker 5: And I didn't say moons ago because I don't say that,
Speaker 5: but I remember having a great interlude with him. We
Speaker 5: had sex, We had a fun night in San Francisco.
Speaker 5: We were fucked up drinking and whoever, who knows whatever else,
Speaker 5: And then we tried to reenact it in LA and
Speaker 5: he like a couple months later.
Speaker 6: Just after you were you or is this before your
Speaker 6: shot I.
Speaker 1: Was coming up.
Speaker 8: I wasn't.
Speaker 1: No, I was like, you know, starting out.
Speaker 5: And I think I was opening for him at the
Speaker 5: San Francisco Punchline probably like I was probably the opener.
Speaker 5: There was a middle and he was the headliner. And
Speaker 5: so we ended up having you know, a great night
Speaker 5: on our last night of the week. And then we
Speaker 5: tried to recreate it in LA and I met him
Speaker 5: at the comedy store here in LA and it was
Speaker 5: a I think I got my period, Like it was
Speaker 5: one of the worst hookups ever.
Speaker 1: You know what, Sometimes so you just have to leave
Speaker 1: something alone, like never speak to me.
Speaker 5: Just because you have one good night with a person
Speaker 5: doesn't mean you should ever see them again. It's like
Speaker 5: when you go to a really good restaurant when you're
Speaker 5: on vacation, don't go back there the next night because
Speaker 5: it was so good the first night, Well, only disappoint you.
Speaker 1: I feel that way.
Speaker 2: With like an entree, I'll be like I want to
Speaker 2: order another one, yes, or like the second. You can
Speaker 2: never have two egg mcmuffins. Like the first yeah so delicious, Yeah, No,
Speaker 2: I love egg mcmuffins, the second one the instant diarrhea.
Speaker 1: What they need to do is make eggman muffins a
Speaker 1: little bit bigger. When we went through COVID, I had
Speaker 1: my housekeeper.
Speaker 5: I'm like, just go stock up on as many egg
Speaker 5: mcmuffins as possible because I'm not gonna be able to
Speaker 5: go to McDonald's and I fucking love eg mcmuffins.
Speaker 1: Stop up stock of freezing them.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I was freezing them, and they are not
Speaker 5: as good when you freeze them. No, he turns out,
Speaker 5: was like nothing got me off of them quicker than
Speaker 5: freezing them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, these are not good at all.
Speaker 2: And also get you offer them. Having two on like
Speaker 2: a regional flight in the Northeast, You're like for years
Speaker 2: when I when I was first traveling, you know, you
Speaker 2: get there to the airport and I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: I nevery McDonald's, but this is my my allowance at
Speaker 2: the airport.
Speaker 6: Will have it, And then one time I had two.
Speaker 6: Never again. Yeah, I definitely agree.
Speaker 2: With you about the Sometimes you have these wonderful moments
Speaker 2: like the sexual encounter and it's just and no one's jealous,
Speaker 2: it's not weird, And I feel like women so rarely
Speaker 2: get to have those where you're like, I don't even
Speaker 2: want it again, I don't want to date you like that.
Speaker 2: That hit the spot. And even though I didn't get
Speaker 2: off like that was still great. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: YE need it again.
Speaker 5: And it's a good lesson to know, Like for our
Speaker 5: young listeners, it's a good lesson to know just because
Speaker 5: you have a great night with somebody doesn't mean that
Speaker 5: you need to have another great night with them.
Speaker 1: Like sometimes it's okay.
Speaker 5: Just to like read a good book and let it go,
Speaker 5: like you don't have to keep rereading it.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: I will say, you don't who this person is. There
Speaker 2: was a total power reversal. I was playing somewhere I'm
Speaker 2: not even gonna say the city or anything, and it was.
Speaker 2: It was a younger comic that I had known forever,
Speaker 2: and they opened for me ran like guest sets at
Speaker 2: this in this city and I'd see them as every
Speaker 2: few years. And he came over and he just went
Speaker 2: down on me. I have never shared the story, and
Speaker 2: it felt so powerful because normally it's the other way,
Speaker 2: or you have some weird sex.
Speaker 6: And I just let him and it was great.
Speaker 2: And I had to leave early the next morning, and
Speaker 2: I was like, you can eat whatever you want out
Speaker 2: of the mini bar.
Speaker 1: I gotta go, and I just.
Speaker 5: After you're done eating me out, you can eat whatever
Speaker 5: you want out of the mini bar.
Speaker 2: And it was great and I and it was and
Speaker 2: I felt like a real headliner and it just it's
Speaker 2: like a nice memory.
Speaker 6: And I never really talked to this person, but like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was nice of you to let them do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I clean. That's nice to.
Speaker 5: Let somebody go down on you. Like that's the way
Speaker 5: that women should be viewing that. That's a nice thing
Speaker 5: to do for another person. It's not necessarily all about us.
Speaker 5: It's like, well that's awesome, so like you know, friendly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna love this.
Speaker 2: And it felt like powerful and cool and it didn't
Speaker 2: feel like anyone was taking advantage. And I definitely then
Speaker 2: it was weird because like that person brought their family
Speaker 2: to see me, like two years later, I'm like, here's
Speaker 2: some tickets and no problem.
Speaker 1: Like a nice relationship.
Speaker 5: Did you feel like did you feel when that happened
Speaker 5: and they came back around with their family?
Speaker 1: Did you feel any itck at all? Like oh no, keep.
Speaker 2: In touch like over DM and he's like, hey, my family,
Speaker 2: can I get tickets?
Speaker 1: I'm like, Andy's a fan.
Speaker 2: Great, of course you can have tickets with your sweet
Speaker 2: family also has to go down.
Speaker 5: How did you meet your How did every family member
Speaker 5: needs to go down on you?
Speaker 1: How did you meet your husband?
Speaker 6: That was him?
Speaker 1: I met him on Riya. Oh really Ya's success store.
Speaker 1: Have you've been of course?
Speaker 5: Yeah, lots of different sex on RYA different like countries.
Speaker 5: I find RYA to'd be great for like when you're
Speaker 5: in the UK or New York or like it's a
Speaker 5: nice hotspot and it and it and it gives you
Speaker 5: a I mean now it's opened up a little bit
Speaker 5: more and expanded, but when I was using it a lot,
Speaker 5: it gives you a more what is the word that
Speaker 5: I'm thinking of, like continental more continental buffet. It gives
Speaker 5: you more of a grouping of people that are actually
Speaker 5: a little bit more rightly elevated. Yeah, than that's what
Speaker 5: we're going to find on like Twitter, I mean not Twitter, sorry,
Speaker 5: Tinder or like hinge or whatever. It's just like a
Speaker 5: little bit more of a guarantee that we're not to
Speaker 5: find curated.
Speaker 1: That was the word I was thinking about.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, people will grimace at well bristle at that.
Speaker 2: But like if you have a public profile, like if
Speaker 2: you are a celebrity at all, you can't open yourself
Speaker 2: up to just going out with whomever. And so for
Speaker 2: the longest time, for me, like I was never so
Speaker 2: like I wasn't famous enough that I was like at
Speaker 2: Denzel's Denzel, why.
Speaker 6: Would we find Denzel Washington?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: Or like I just wasn't at famous people's houses. But
Speaker 2: I was famous enough that I couldn't just pick up
Speaker 2: a random person. So you would rely on like friend recommendations,
Speaker 2: you know, idea did someone I knew in college, and
Speaker 2: you just would find these people sort of natively. And
Speaker 2: then Riot came along, and so it wasn't necessarily other celebrities,
Speaker 2: but it was like verified, like, oh, I'm an artist too,
Speaker 2: Like I get it.
Speaker 1: So you don't leave your cause it's a vulnerable thing
Speaker 1: to go out with someone.
Speaker 5: Well of course, of course, especially when you know, yeah,
Speaker 5: especially when you are a celebrity and they know who
Speaker 5: you are and you're like putting yourself out there. I'm
Speaker 5: of the ilk that you just let go of all
Speaker 5: of that, Like, who gives a fuck? You know you're
Speaker 5: gonna walk around being this person in your real life regardless.
Speaker 5: So when people who are friends of mine are like,
Speaker 5: how could you go on those sites, I'm like easily,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm trying to get some action.
Speaker 1: Right also at this like who cares? Like I don't
Speaker 1: care if they know that I'm on this site. That
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2: Right, especially not now, I think like the stigma of
Speaker 2: online dating is completely gone. Everybody does it. It makes a
Speaker 2: lot of sense. You can't go out every single night,
Speaker 2: but I do think you know, when you're younger, you're
Speaker 2: just trying to like sort it out, and you don't
Speaker 2: know what someone else's intention is right when they go
Speaker 2: and then you bring them to your house or you
Speaker 2: go to like it's just weird. But I did meet him.
Speaker 2: He was not a celebrity, and I was like, who
Speaker 2: let you in here? But he was just so funny
Speaker 2: and so easy to talk to.
Speaker 1: And then that was that. Wow.
Speaker 6: I was his first Riot date.
Speaker 2: He was like, I don't know my fifth or something like,
Speaker 2: I hadn't been on that long and it just worked.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: He was so lovely and that was like day one
Speaker 2: and like that was it. And so what kind of
Speaker 2: artist is he?
Speaker 1: He's a chef.
Speaker 6: Oh, but he's a I should have brought you a book.
Speaker 2: He's a cookbook author and chef and and a writer
Speaker 2: and so he writes a lot of you know, articles,
Speaker 2: free length.
Speaker 6: But he is a chef and cookbook author.
Speaker 1: That's cool. It was cool.
Speaker 2: And when I met him, he was he had opened
Speaker 2: you ever are you a regular eater or do you
Speaker 2: eat not eat meat or anything? No, I'm a regular
Speaker 2: regular person. He was the opening chef for Bloodsoe's Barbecue
Speaker 2: on Libreak, which is like an LA staple. And he
Speaker 2: has his cookbooks. He writes cookbooks. He has one coming out.
Speaker 2: Do you ever eat at found Oyster? You're very far
Speaker 2: west over here, so I don't know, I know but
Speaker 2: I've heard of found Oyster. I love oysters. So Ari
Speaker 2: Culiner he wrote Ari's book and that comes out called
Speaker 2: How to Cook the Finest Things in the Sea. So
Speaker 2: he's the guy that he's got James Beard's Award. Like,
Speaker 2: he's the guy you go to if you're like, I
Speaker 2: want to do a cookbook. He will capture your voice
Speaker 2: and write that way with you and recipe test.
Speaker 5: That's such a nice refreshing vocation. It's so it's great
Speaker 5: in this town especially.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not like a fake chef or a photographer
Speaker 2: or a producer.
Speaker 5: I mean a photographers at least, can you know, take photographs,
Speaker 5: but producers is a little bit of a gray area,
Speaker 5: as we all know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, on that notework.
Speaker 5: We're going to take a break and we'll be right
Speaker 5: back with Eliza's Schlessinger. And we're back with Eliza Slessenger. Okay, Catherine,
Speaker 5: why do we have what's happening?
Speaker 1: We actually have two blakes today? Oh my god? More
Speaker 1: is it a blake Lively calling in for advice? She
Speaker 1: calls in one more time. I swear to god.
Speaker 6: She's like, I'm your neighbor, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: My god, Well, our first Blake of the day.
Speaker 3: He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty one year old
Speaker 3: trans man who lives in northern Ontario, Canada. I grew
Speaker 3: up very liberal, where being who you are was not
Speaker 3: a crime shameful. And now I'm married and I've been
Speaker 3: with my wife for almost six years now. She comes
Speaker 3: from a very conservative Christian home and her family took
Speaker 3: a while to warm up to me. They never came
Speaker 3: to our wedding because it's a sin quote unquote and
Speaker 3: they don't agree with our lifestyle. They still aren't on
Speaker 3: board with us to this day, but then they claim
Speaker 3: to love us and all of that fun stuff.
Speaker 1: People say.
Speaker 3: Should I continue to be the bigger person and continue
Speaker 3: to just visit them like they haven't done anything wrong?
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Hi, Hi Blake, Hi Blake.
Speaker 2: I can give you the carrot at the bottom next
Speaker 2: to the microphone.
Speaker 9: Got it?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Hi, that's one millennia helping another, just doing what I can.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hi Blake Lively, how are you?
Speaker 7: I'm good?
Speaker 8: Thank you?
Speaker 7: How are you guys today?
Speaker 1: We're so tired of hearing about you.
Speaker 5: Okay, so your wife's parents they know you're trans, correct
Speaker 5: and that's the big issue.
Speaker 7: Yeah, when her and her ex husband's blake, he got
Speaker 7: mad and he went and told her family about me.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter. Were you guys having an affair?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 1: So, how what is he why? I'm confused? Why was
Speaker 1: he even in the picture? Just a jealous ex?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 5: But if you weren't in the picture, then how did
Speaker 5: he know about her? How do you already know about
Speaker 5: this story before.
Speaker 1: I started dating?
Speaker 2: And then he was like, well, I'm still bitter about this.
Speaker 2: Oh so he because I'm in Ontario with nothing else
Speaker 2: to do, I know what I'll do. I'll fuck up
Speaker 2: her life because she left me. It didn't work. I
Speaker 2: had a micro penis.
Speaker 5: And are they they're nice to you other than what
Speaker 5: you're talking about, Like, is it civil when you see them?
Speaker 8: Yes, it is civil.
Speaker 7: It's just the fact that I know the things that
Speaker 7: have been said, And I guess that's just the bitter
Speaker 7: aspect of it, where it's like you've never apologized. But
Speaker 7: it's also I shouldn't have to carry that, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: No, I mean I always have a different kind of
Speaker 5: feeling about this day to day. But I just feel like,
Speaker 5: as long as you can be civil with each other.
Speaker 5: It's kind of an opportunity to demonstrate love and kindness.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, and to just.
Speaker 5: Be like this great person in their lives and show
Speaker 5: all your great qualities and not judge them for their ignorance.
Speaker 1: That's right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Because I think you can get a lot farther by
Speaker 5: that with that attitude, I am always like, fuck off,
Speaker 5: shut it down.
Speaker 1: If someone is an asshole, then fire.
Speaker 5: But if they're not being abusive to you, if they're
Speaker 5: not being nasty to you to your face anyway, who
Speaker 5: cares what they say behind your back? That's really not
Speaker 5: your business anyway, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: That's on them, I think because it's easy for us
Speaker 2: as like heterosexual people to be like whatever, big deal,
Speaker 2: But like you also carry whatever comes along with being
Speaker 2: trans and what you think the world thinks of that
Speaker 2: and the way that you either are treated or perceive
Speaker 2: that you're being treated like, there's a weight to that.
Speaker 6: If someone says anything to you, you're always.
Speaker 2: Going to be wondering, is it because I'm trans in
Speaker 2: the way that we're like, is it because I'm a woman?
Speaker 2: Is it because of my color? Is it because of
Speaker 2: this whatever? We all have that, and I think you're
Speaker 2: absolutely right. It's your chance to show them all the
Speaker 2: kindness and love that the queer, trans whatever community always preaches.
Speaker 2: And it definitely hurts, it hurts your feelings, but you
Speaker 2: want them to feel so bad that they weren't the kind,
Speaker 2: loving Christians that they talk about. When you leave, you
Speaker 2: want to be and you don't have to be fake,
Speaker 2: but you don't let them take away who you actually are.
Speaker 2: Don't let them decide for you that you are all
Speaker 2: the awful things that they've decided you are or trans
Speaker 2: people are, and you just keep demonstrating it. And if
Speaker 2: they want to be man enough to say it to you,
Speaker 2: then you can have that conversation. But I think a
Speaker 2: lot of times we come at people with very charged
Speaker 2: with anger when they have an idea about who we are,
Speaker 2: and then we end up proving that. And this is
Speaker 2: a chance to sort of deflate some of that ignorance.
Speaker 1: Like prove them wrong.
Speaker 2: Basically, Yeah, I mean, what do they think they just
Speaker 2: the knock is that you used to be a woman
Speaker 2: with their daughter. That's the knock. It's not that you're
Speaker 2: a bad person. They can and they can't handle that.
Speaker 2: It is a foreign concept, like gay we've all sort
Speaker 2: of wrapped our minds around, but it is if you
Speaker 2: consider where they're coming from, Like, that's a lot to
Speaker 2: take on. You are probably the only trans person they know.
Speaker 1: I was, yeah, oh is there another? Is your wife? Now? Trans?
Speaker 7: What a plot twist? No, it's just this small community
Speaker 7: that they live in. There's others that have come out
Speaker 7: of the woodworks. I guess you could say, since you know,
Speaker 7: if we live in the woodworks. But yeah, I'm still
Speaker 7: like the only one they personally know though, this.
Speaker 1: Is the only one sucking their daughter.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's right, so that you know, of you, I
Speaker 6: sure hope.
Speaker 2: So this is your chance for them to be like,
Speaker 2: I know my son in law's trans and he's great. Yes,
Speaker 2: we token is we do with everyone. We're like, well,
Speaker 2: I've got a Filipino friend. She seems cool, so they
Speaker 2: all must be. I've got a Jewish friend and they
Speaker 2: don't seem awful. They all must be. This is your
Speaker 2: chance to like show up and be like, look out, fuckings,
Speaker 2: don't worry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just right like rise above that. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Their problems are not your problems.
Speaker 5: You should just It's like almost like anything, any feelings
Speaker 5: or opinions they have about you is just not even part.
Speaker 1: Of who you are, has nothing to do with if
Speaker 1: you want to move through the.
Speaker 5: World and move through your relationship with them just as
Speaker 5: like a nice beacon of light, as like a joyful
Speaker 5: reprieve from the rest of their life, so that they're
Speaker 5: slowly understanding that you're just like anybody else, that you're
Speaker 5: a real person with real feelings and real emotions and
Speaker 5: without an agenda, you know what I mean. But really
Speaker 5: don't get stuck on what they're saying or what their
Speaker 5: attitudes are, as long as it's not hurtful or sorry
Speaker 5: not maybe it's hurtful, of course, but you know, as
Speaker 5: long as it's not abusive or they're treating you in
Speaker 5: an unkind way, just keep pushing through, because I think
Speaker 5: you should carry with you like you're speaking for lots.
Speaker 1: Of trans people.
Speaker 5: You know, your interactions with them or emblematic of all
Speaker 5: the trans people.
Speaker 1: In your community. So unfortunately, keep that in mind.
Speaker 5: But I find that rather than having that be some
Speaker 5: sort of onus, though it kind of gives you a
Speaker 5: sense of purpose.
Speaker 2: It's but by the way, you don't have to do
Speaker 2: anything extra. But you're their son in law. You know
Speaker 2: what son in laws do. They call up they're like, hey,
Speaker 2: you need to borrow a ladder. Like you're their son
Speaker 2: in law. So like, and the good news is you
Speaker 2: don't have to worry about anything because like, men don't
Speaker 2: do anything.
Speaker 1: Do you have a ladder?
Speaker 8: I have a step ladder.
Speaker 1: No, you're a brown man, Go get you a ladder.
Speaker 1: I think you need to get a real ladder.
Speaker 8: I just so I don't need ladder.
Speaker 5: Okay, well, then hire someone to bring them a ladder.
Speaker 5: I think that's what Eliza's saying.
Speaker 2: Or next time you go to the house, start knocking
Speaker 2: on studs and be like, this is a solid wall.
Speaker 2: Just start trying to fix things in their house, Be like,
Speaker 2: can we readjust this door, bring a level, just start
Speaker 2: seeing if everything's just start critiquing all the masculine stuff.
Speaker 3: And then you take the stud finder and you put
Speaker 3: it to your own chest and you're like, found.
Speaker 7: Well that's literally what I can do.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I mean that's one step in the right direction.
Speaker 5: Yeah, are you guys, I have a question for you.
Speaker 5: Are you guys affectionate in front of her family?
Speaker 8: We don't hide it.
Speaker 7: We don't like make it something that we try to
Speaker 7: hide or flaunt it and like we're not trying to
Speaker 7: do something that's not us.
Speaker 6: At the same time, this holiday season, it's time to
Speaker 6: amp it up.
Speaker 1: And the holidays are right around the corner because we're
Speaker 1: in March.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so time to prepare a lot of caressing, a
Speaker 2: lot of neck kissing.
Speaker 1: Just let him know on the ladder. You want to
Speaker 1: do all of this on the ladder.
Speaker 7: While critiquing everything.
Speaker 1: Right, yes, yeah, just be a man.
Speaker 5: But you know what we're saying, right, You got what
Speaker 5: we're saying, Blake.
Speaker 8: With all of.
Speaker 7: The toxic masculine going around on the news right now,
Speaker 7: I think I can convey.
Speaker 5: Some of that.
Speaker 1: Thank you. That's what this is the answer. Want make
Speaker 1: Ontario great again.
Speaker 7: You know what, Canada might be the best state if
Speaker 7: it happens.
Speaker 6: Guys, welcome, Welcome number fifty one.
Speaker 8: Don't worry.
Speaker 7: Chelsea already has a place here, so it's not even
Speaker 7: like she really has to do.
Speaker 5: It's not like I'm even emmigrating. I'm just like going
Speaker 5: from the Canadian passport. I don't I have a house
Speaker 5: in Whistler, Canada, but I don't have a pass if.
Speaker 1: She won't need one.
Speaker 5: But I am marry yeah if I have to, but
Speaker 5: I don't need to marry a Canadian.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Everyone was always like before the election was like, oh,
Speaker 5: you could just move to Canada. I'm like, I have
Speaker 5: a feeling he probably thinks he's getting to invade Canada
Speaker 5: and take Canada over.
Speaker 1: Like Canada is not far enough away.
Speaker 7: I don't think he can get that can up north.
Speaker 6: You get it here.
Speaker 1: It's a little tan, it's from a.
Speaker 8: Bottle, That's what I mean.
Speaker 7: But we don't sell it here, so.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, especially if it's American maid, you won't be RP
Speaker 2: Tito's Vodko.
Speaker 5: Sorry about that anyway, Blake, good luck with everything.
Speaker 8: Congrats, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Congrats on your relationship.
Speaker 5: And I think you're gonna I think you're actually gonna
Speaker 5: be a great example for your in laws and that
Speaker 5: whole family to you know, open minds and expand horizons.
Speaker 8: Well, thank you. I appreciate everything.
Speaker 5: Guys. Okay, thanks Mike. It was just taking a bite
Speaker 5: of that. It was like calling my name, all.
Speaker 1: Right, onto our next Blake. Oh, this is Blake.
Speaker 3: Back to back black, back to back Blakes. So our
Speaker 3: next Blake is twenty eight. He's here in La. He says,
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I need some big sister energy, and who
Speaker 3: better than you. After over a decade of producing unscripted
Speaker 3: content spanning editorial TV commercials, presidential campaigns, and the wild
Speaker 3: West of social media, I'm ready for a change. I've
Speaker 3: worked for iconic brands across the Conde Nash portfolio, produced
Speaker 3: for Hillary Clinton and Stacy Abrams, and even helped Applebee's
Speaker 3: snag a can Lions.
Speaker 1: Fancas LinkedIn bio. Seriously, I mean, you know to backbar.
Speaker 3: But despite all this, I've hit a wall of unfulfillment.
Speaker 3: After layoff in NYC, I moved back to LA and
Speaker 3: landed a job in programming management at a live streaming giant.
Speaker 3: While I'm grateful, I've realized I want to return to
Speaker 3: my first love, producing, specifically in scripted TV. Qua Mentor's advice,
Speaker 3: if you can't find the project, create it. So I
Speaker 3: started writing work that began as a cathartic way to
Speaker 3: process a breakup. Yes, I Taylor swifted the shit out
Speaker 3: of it and reflect on chaotic work situationships. Imagine a
Speaker 3: flirtatious gay CEO in advertising harder than it sounds, has
Speaker 3: turned into something I'm genuinely proud of. I've drafted two stories,
Speaker 3: one rooted in rogate emotions, the other dripping in jewey
Speaker 3: high camp, and I've shocked myself by how much I
Speaker 3: love this creative outlet.
Speaker 1: Here's where I need your advice.
Speaker 3: I feel this poll to pursue writing and producing scripted
Speaker 3: TV full time, but the thought of freelancing and giving
Speaker 3: up financial stability Hello student loans terrifies me. Everyone in
Speaker 3: LA seems to have advice, but now I'm stuck in
Speaker 3: analysis paralysis. How do I take the next right sized
Speaker 3: step toward a career I'm passionate about without losing myself
Speaker 3: in the process. How do I balance humility, creative ambition,
Speaker 3: and the rent checks with love and kindness?
Speaker 6: Blake?
Speaker 1: Hi Blake? Hello, Hello, Hi Blake Blake.
Speaker 5: Eliza, do you want to take this? This is our
Speaker 5: special guest Eliza Slessinger.
Speaker 8: Hello, Hello, I'm very familiar.
Speaker 1: Was that good?
Speaker 8: No, in a good way? In a very good way.
Speaker 2: I mean, I am no stranger to the analysis paralysis,
Speaker 2: but also the actual act of putting one foot in
Speaker 2: front of the other. And it's tough because you got
Speaker 2: a taste of normalcy with a steady paycheck, and.
Speaker 6: You're like, oh, look, how cozy this is.
Speaker 2: If you were just an artist from the start and
Speaker 2: you were used to flying by the seat of your pants,
Speaker 2: then that would be very comfortable for you. I am that,
Speaker 2: Like I am a freelance person, right, these are the
Speaker 2: things that I do. I don't have that backup job.
Speaker 2: The answer is, you're just going to have to do both.
Speaker 2: You're just going to have to be exhausted. And the
Speaker 2: question that I can't answer for you is will you
Speaker 2: be okay being not artistically fulfilled in this life if
Speaker 2: your creature comforts outweigh that some people are. For me,
Speaker 2: it is paramount, But some people can live that way.
Speaker 2: And are you willing to keep that job so you
Speaker 2: can keep your lights on and then just write at
Speaker 2: night and just hustle and have two jobs until one
Speaker 2: edges out.
Speaker 9: The other short answer is yeah. So, like for me,
Speaker 9: I originally moved away from LA to go to New
Speaker 9: York because I at my core am a hustler. And
Speaker 9: so while I was doing a lot of those other projects,
Speaker 9: like I always had a full time job, and like
Speaker 9: I was able to freelance and sort of navigate it.
Speaker 9: And what happened to me is I got a job
Speaker 9: and got a really nice salary. I was still living
Speaker 9: paycheck to paycheck at the time because New York was
Speaker 9: just crazy, but I didn't freelance anymore. And then when
Speaker 9: I had the layoff happen, it just shook everything up
Speaker 9: and terrified me. And now I'm back in a place
Speaker 9: where I have a full time job again. I came
Speaker 9: back to LA and I'm really sort of leaning into
Speaker 9: this creative outlet that I really love, but I don't
Speaker 9: have side hustles, and that's kind of where I'm like,
Speaker 9: I know I need to get back into the side hustles,
Speaker 9: but sort of writing has taken the spot of what
Speaker 9: that would be because I'm doing it at night.
Speaker 8: I'm doing it on my lunch breaks at my full
Speaker 8: time job.
Speaker 2: Is it you're writing a scripted show. There's only two
Speaker 2: scripted shows.
Speaker 8: Yeah, two scripted shows right now.
Speaker 2: Well, all you have to do is create those and
Speaker 2: then it's about just getting somebody to read it. Like,
Speaker 2: you're not a showrunner, you're not producing these things. So
Speaker 2: if you've done that, the next step is connecting it
Speaker 2: to the right people, and then the idea is that
Speaker 2: that gets made so you can leave your other job.
Speaker 6: But it sounds like you're already doing both of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's what I'm getting from you.
Speaker 5: You're doing all of it, and I mean I think
Speaker 5: you're looking for like a way out of doing all
Speaker 5: of it together, like some sort of jackpot.
Speaker 1: The truth of the matter is that you do have
Speaker 1: to fucking hustle.
Speaker 5: You do, and it's brutal sometimes, but like it is
Speaker 5: a means to an end, it does pay off. So
Speaker 5: while it might not be like the most glamorous part
Speaker 5: of your life right now, it deserves your focus and
Speaker 5: attention so that it can become your source of income
Speaker 5: as well.
Speaker 2: But also, I mean, yes, and it has to be
Speaker 2: something that like, and it sounds like it is like
Speaker 2: you can't live without it. Like I wrote a movie
Speaker 2: that's on Netflix called Good on Paper, and that movie
Speaker 2: is something that I wrote every time I didn't get
Speaker 2: the audition, every time I had an off night and
Speaker 2: I didn't have sets when I could have been going
Speaker 2: out but I didn't, like, I always returned to that document.
Speaker 2: And the good news is you have that fire in you.
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna tell you right now. And it seems
Speaker 2: to happen for everyone but me. There is no moment
Speaker 2: where they knock and they're like, hey, we're making it.
Speaker 2: You will submit this, Hey, we'll read it next week. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's in three weeks. Oh the executive got sick. Oh
Speaker 2: she had a baby, and then they'll pick it up.
Speaker 2: But we're gonna do it in the summer. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: it's actually gonna be for digital.
Speaker 1: Like you have to.
Speaker 2: Become so accustomed to just eating shit for breakfast, because
Speaker 2: these things take forever. I just took a blind script
Speaker 2: deal with a major network that took eight months. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I didn't take eight months to even get the deal,
Speaker 2: and in the end we didn't take it because it
Speaker 2: was so about eight months just to make a deal
Speaker 2: for a show I hadn't created.
Speaker 1: So I'm just letting make a deal for a show
Speaker 1: you had not created, hadn't created.
Speaker 2: It was a blind script deal, and in the end
Speaker 2: we didn't take it. It is such a slog So you
Speaker 2: have to be so in love with your characters and
Speaker 2: your process, and then you have to be okay with
Speaker 2: them dying when someone buys this and it sits on
Speaker 2: a shelf.
Speaker 1: You have to love the process so much.
Speaker 9: Yeah, And that's kind of where I think I felt
Speaker 9: inspired to write in because like, I, actually I'm loving
Speaker 9: this process. I never thought like I wanted to get
Speaker 9: into scripted, but that was kind of elusive. And then
Speaker 9: I had a mentor to just be like, then just
Speaker 9: go write it, and it seems so simple, and I
Speaker 9: actually fell in love with the writing process and it
Speaker 9: became really great. And then you know, I was so
Speaker 9: consumed by one project that I started another, And now
Speaker 9: I have these two projects that are just kind of
Speaker 9: building and it's been really fun and exciting, but you know,
Speaker 9: I do kind of want to pivot into this and
Speaker 9: it sort of became like this thing of fear where
Speaker 9: I'm like, oh, I actually have to like now continue
Speaker 9: to push this onward and stuff. But I think the
Speaker 9: fear is sort of coming from like feeling like I'm
Speaker 9: being consumed by just making it all happen and doing
Speaker 9: the hustle and doing everything, which isn't something that I'm
Speaker 9: necessarily foreign to.
Speaker 1: It's not it doesn't sound like fear to me.
Speaker 2: It sounds like anxiety because you're wanting it all to
Speaker 2: happen and I get it like all at once right now,
Speaker 2: But there's actually very little to be done once you've
Speaker 2: written it, and it's going to be sending these emails
Speaker 2: like there's actually nothing to fear here because nothing is happening.
Speaker 6: You don't have to leave that job yet. What you
Speaker 6: are is bored.
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm ready to go, and this industry is
Speaker 2: moved so slowly.
Speaker 6: So the hardest thing to do is nothing. And that's
Speaker 6: what's happening right now.
Speaker 2: You've got to go to work, polish your draft, make
Speaker 2: sure that when it's sent, it's the best version. Don't
Speaker 2: just fire it off. And I'm the worst at that,
Speaker 2: Like I will send a network draft with typos like
Speaker 2: I don't even I didn't prove read my college essays.
Speaker 2: It's just slow. And that's the hardest part is remembering
Speaker 2: to live your life while your dreams like slowly start
Speaker 2: to take off.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sean Hayes once gave a piece of advice that was
Speaker 3: like he for himself when he was coming up. He said,
Speaker 3: and I think he actually still does this, but do
Speaker 3: one thing every day that's like toward the career you
Speaker 3: want to have. So like you feel like oh, I
Speaker 3: got to be taking meaning is I gotta be doing
Speaker 3: doing all these things. Even if every day you do
Speaker 3: one thing that's advancing your career or one contact, you're
Speaker 3: still making progress.
Speaker 2: The biggest mistake you can make is thinking other people
Speaker 2: are working for you, and then you find out that
Speaker 2: they're not read the trades. Find the executive at the streamer,
Speaker 2: what's your dream network? How do you get to that person?
Speaker 2: Who can you befriend that could read that? Do you
Speaker 2: have a rep?
Speaker 1: Do you have reps?
Speaker 8: No? I don't.
Speaker 1: That's the other you got to get that rep.
Speaker 9: I've always been in house, Like when I was at Conde,
Speaker 9: I was in house and advertising and so like when
Speaker 9: I was freelance saying, it was just me getting tapped
Speaker 9: by people within my network.
Speaker 8: But I've never had a REP.
Speaker 9: And I got invite earlier on that was sort of like,
Speaker 9: you know, you don't really need a REP if you
Speaker 9: don't have anything to be wrapped. But now I'm sort
Speaker 9: of at a spot where I'm like, is this the
Speaker 9: tipping point or do I need to actually get get now?
Speaker 5: This is how you get representation with the material that
Speaker 5: you have. The material written is so far and there
Speaker 5: is something that separates people who succeed in this business
Speaker 5: and people that don't. And I think you're at the
Speaker 5: crescendo of that, or at the tipping point of that.
Speaker 5: I should say, you got to just keep fucking chugging away.
Speaker 5: Like it is hard, it is arduous, it's all of
Speaker 5: those things. But that's what separates people from being successful in.
Speaker 1: This industry and people who aren't is.
Speaker 5: The people that give up at this point or it's.
Speaker 1: Like overwhelmed, or I don't know what to do next.
Speaker 1: It's like no one's coming to save you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, what's your next step?
Speaker 1: You have two scripts?
Speaker 8: So I have two concepts. I'm starting to script them
Speaker 8: right now.
Speaker 1: Because some people won't want you to do that.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with having a script in your back pocket,
Speaker 2: and you need a concept is very hard to sell
Speaker 2: if it's not packaged.
Speaker 1: So right now, it's just you.
Speaker 2: If you were if you walked in and you're like,
Speaker 2: I've got these three pieces of talent attached and someone
Speaker 2: loves it. Nobody wants that have that script, and maybe
Speaker 2: you show it to maybe you don't, but at least
Speaker 2: you can show it to your rep.
Speaker 6: Like you need proof of concept.
Speaker 9: If it's a scripted No, it is scripted for sure.
Speaker 9: One of the thriller drama. One of them is the
Speaker 9: drama d so.
Speaker 1: I think they're hour long.
Speaker 8: Both of them are eight episodes one hour each per season.
Speaker 6: Not only do you need the script, I mean you can.
Speaker 6: You can do a pitch.
Speaker 2: Some people for a pitch, but this pitch needs to
Speaker 2: be like you need a one sheet, you need a
Speaker 2: pitch deck, and you need these things to be like grabbable.
Speaker 2: And I would ask someone you know who's a writer
Speaker 2: for other examples of a pitch deck. Unless you already
Speaker 2: have that. It's the hardest part. I always find it's
Speaker 2: easier to just write the script. I hate pitching. It's
Speaker 2: a great way to have people tell you to fuck off.
Speaker 2: But you should be writing the script. Were you planning
Speaker 2: on writing it?
Speaker 8: Yeah, I was planning on writing it.
Speaker 9: I sort of was getting into like putting the pitch
Speaker 9: material and series bible together, and then I've been getting
Speaker 9: feedback and people are like, oh, you sort of just
Speaker 9: need more of a script this as well.
Speaker 2: You should just write the script because it is in
Speaker 2: that script that you will find all the problems. Have
Speaker 2: people read it, have people you trust not your friend.
Speaker 2: But like real writers, read it, rewrite it, rewrite it,
Speaker 2: get it to a place where you think it's bulletproof,
Speaker 2: then give it to your rep who will give you
Speaker 2: their critiques, and then you go from there. But you
Speaker 2: got to you have to actually write it. Otherwise you're
Speaker 2: just a person who says that they're a writer.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I don't call myself a writer, if any I know,
Speaker 9: I'm a producer, and I think that's been like the
Speaker 9: other hesitation is like I've done producaying, I've directed a
Speaker 9: little bit, but like writing is like very I haven't
Speaker 9: done it since college, and like this is like actually
Speaker 9: something that I'm finding them falling in love with.
Speaker 1: Enjoy it, enjoy falling in love with it. Thank god
Speaker 1: Eliza was here today. She's giving you great advice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't tell you that I've read Saved the
Speaker 2: Cat in a long time their Screenwriter podcast. Like, write
Speaker 2: it and then you'll rewrite it and then step away
Speaker 2: write it again. Then you can get your agent can't
Speaker 2: represent you unless they have something to actually read. Otherwise
Speaker 2: it's just like a fun concept. Nobody really wants to
Speaker 2: read a Bible. That's fair enough, any kind of Bible heard.
Speaker 8: He herd.
Speaker 5: Okay, well thanks for calling in. I mean that's some
Speaker 5: good advice. So good luck with everything, beautiful.
Speaker 8: Thank you all so much.
Speaker 3: Check back in in like six months, Blake, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: let us.
Speaker 2: Know how you're doing from your mansion after you sold
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: And I'm jealous.
Speaker 8: I wish so awesome. Thank you all so much. I
Speaker 8: appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye. It's such a it's such a brutal.
Speaker 5: I'm like with career stuff, I'm like, I don't fucking
Speaker 5: know what to tell you. I don't really know. Let's
Speaker 5: put one foot front of it. Like all I can
Speaker 5: say is hustle, hustle, hustle. But it's like that was
Speaker 5: good too because it got into specifics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's and it's like it's a super granular thing.
Speaker 2: But like that's what's so great about stand up is
Speaker 2: like just go up, just go You don't need someone
Speaker 2: to okay it, No one has to, Like you can
Speaker 2: just you can create it every night. The writing is tough,
Speaker 2: but plenty of show creators like we're like Mark Platt
Speaker 2: was like a lawyer and then he created shows. Like
Speaker 2: a lot of people just start as something else and
Speaker 2: just move into writing so it can be done.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just hard. Let's take a quick break and
Speaker 1: I have a little wrap up question.
Speaker 5: Great, we'll be right back with Eliza. I keep saying, Blessinger.
Speaker 5: We'll be right back with Eliza Schlessinger.
Speaker 1: Is hands blessing ger?
Speaker 7: Is it?
Speaker 1: Girl? Yeah? I've been saying Eliza Slessinger.
Speaker 8: I know.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Everybody does.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, it's Eliza Slessinger. Everybody, it's Eliza Schlessinger.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 5: Now you're Jewish Eliza Schlessinger.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Isn't it so much better that way? Yeah?
Speaker 5: It is Schlessing jer Nope, test and we're back with
Speaker 5: Eliza schlessen Ger.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 6: That's totally the way to do it, with a pause
Speaker 6: in the middle.
Speaker 1: I like it like a hyphen emphasis. Yeah, not an
Speaker 1: umlaut a hyphen. I wish. I wish I came from
Speaker 1: a culture that anti umloud. Oh we are I think so,
Speaker 1: I don't know. We love getting canceled.
Speaker 3: This writer says, Dear Chelsea, my ninety seven year old
Speaker 3: neighbor of six years who is thriving, calls me Kimberly.
Speaker 3: My name is Kendall. Do I tell her xoxo, Kendall.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, just tell her your name is
Speaker 5: Eliza Schlessinger.
Speaker 1: And she'll have an aneurysm trying to pronounce it.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 5: I love that she calls you the wrong name. That's fun,
Speaker 5: have fun with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's to be gained?
Speaker 6: How much longer could she possibly be calling you by
Speaker 6: this name?
Speaker 1: Okay, Eliza?
Speaker 5: Everybody can watch Eliza Schlessinger's news special. It's on Amazon Prime, okay,
Speaker 5: and it's called a Different Animal. And if you need
Speaker 5: to know more about her, go to her Instagram, go
Speaker 5: to her Facebook.
Speaker 1: Are you still on Facebook? Probably? I mean I only
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to get on face.
Speaker 6: I don't have my password. Can I plug my podcast?
Speaker 2: Because it's absolutely producer and co hosts always like you
Speaker 2: need to tell people you have a podcast. It's called
Speaker 2: Ask Eliza Anything. And the time this comes out, we
Speaker 2: will have our new home on Lemonada, and I do
Speaker 2: what we do here is I the audience is the guest.
Speaker 2: So we do we have life advice?
Speaker 1: Perfect? Oh god, how funny? Yeah? So Askalize Anything? Okay,
Speaker 1: out love it? Thank you Eliza, thanks for having me. Chlsea,
Speaker 1: thank you you do Do Do Do Do.
Speaker 5: Do drum roll Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler Abroad. Abroad is
Speaker 5: my European tour, which I just announced. Tickets go on
Speaker 5: sale tomorrow or today or there's a pre sale code, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: So I'm coming to.
Speaker 5: Obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the
Speaker 5: health out of this fucking country. And it's not as
Speaker 5: easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvik. I'm
Speaker 5: coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm coming
Speaker 5: to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
Speaker 1: In May and June.
Speaker 5: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
Speaker 5: New Zurich, Vienna.
Speaker 1: I've never ever.
Speaker 5: Been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon. I'm coming abroad
Speaker 5: is abroad that.
Speaker 1: Sounds like fun. I'm gonna go see you abroad. I
Speaker 1: ride out.
Speaker 5: I want to go see me abroad and there all
Speaker 5: be there, All be fun, okay, all Upcoming Vegas dates
Speaker 5: March twenty first, April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November
Speaker 5: one and twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 3: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 3: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 3: com