Speaker 1: I won't let my body.
Speaker 2: I'll be out wait everything that I'm made done, won't
Speaker 2: spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful
Speaker 1: and that will.
Speaker 2: Always out way if you feel.
Speaker 1: It, but you are, She'll some love too. I give
Speaker 1: there say go day Ana, did you and die out way?
Speaker 1: Happy Saturday? Outweigh.
Speaker 2: I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are back to follow up
Speaker 2: last week's conversation, which was all around this common question
Speaker 2: that I get asked all the time, which is does
Speaker 2: it get easier? And that is the million dollar question
Speaker 2: that really doesn't have a simple answer, but we are
Speaker 2: definitely going to simplify it as much as we possibly can.
Speaker 2: So last week we started this important conversation and this
Speaker 2: week I want a more or let's give you a
Speaker 2: checklist that you can literally use to make sure that
Speaker 2: you're teaching your brain ease instead of inadvertently or accidentally
Speaker 2: teaching it to work harder. So let's just start there,
Speaker 2: shall we, So instead of making it so hard and
Speaker 2: so complex, because let's be honest, there is so much
Speaker 2: information that confuses us out there nowadays, and let's be honest,
Speaker 2: everyone is an air quotes expert nowadays too, and of
Speaker 2: course I'm putting expert in air quotes, but to boot,
Speaker 2: every expert is telling you something different to do. And
Speaker 2: you know, maybe it's count carbs or count calories, or
Speaker 2: fake it till you make it, or work harder at
Speaker 2: the gym, and this just confuses the daylights out of us, right,
Speaker 2: And the general theme is that the world is throwing
Speaker 2: more diets and exercise plans at a deeper problem. And
Speaker 2: if you're anything like I was, you might still be
Speaker 2: trying to outdiet or outsmart a deeper problem. And there's
Speaker 2: no shame in that whatsoever. That's why we're having these conversations.
Speaker 2: But it's also no wonder that one of the most
Speaker 2: common questions I get asked by, you know, women like you,
Speaker 2: stressed out dieters, people that are sick of thinking about
Speaker 2: food is leanne does it ever get easier? And so
Speaker 2: why is it that you're going strong and then life
Speaker 2: happens and the slope just gets slippery again, And why
Speaker 2: doesn't your brain just keep the path? So let's talk
Speaker 2: about making it simpler and easier, but in a way
Speaker 2: that your brain actually deems easier, so that we can
Speaker 2: stop teaching our brains to do things the hard way,
Speaker 2: as in, really take the time and energy one time
Speaker 2: to teach your brain a new language and a new
Speaker 2: way of thinking. But it's a language that gets easier
Speaker 2: the more you practice it, and you get better at
Speaker 2: it the more you practice it, so that it just
Speaker 2: becomes who you are versus dieting just gets harder, you
Speaker 2: get worse at it, and we never get good at it. Right,
Speaker 2: So let's talk about that kind of thinking for a change,
Speaker 2: the kind that gets easier. And my simple answer to
Speaker 2: the question of does it get easier is yes and no,
Speaker 2: depending on how you look at it. So yes, it
Speaker 2: gets easier if you're practicing ease, and no, it never
Speaker 2: gets easier if you're always practicing hard. And that's why
Speaker 2: it's so important that you know which one you're practicing, because,
Speaker 2: as you've learned from everything that we talk about here
Speaker 2: on this podcast, your brain gets good at whatever we practice.
Speaker 2: So if you are making things harder, it's because you're
Speaker 2: practicing it in a hard way, right, And all you
Speaker 2: need is some awareness, awareness of how you are practicing
Speaker 2: the hard way. And really, when I say the hard way,
Speaker 2: this is how your brain sees it, so that you
Speaker 2: can shift over to practicing the easy way, as in
Speaker 2: how your brain and nervous system also sees it. So
Speaker 2: let's take a look at all the ways in which
Speaker 2: you might actually be practicing hard. So the first one
Speaker 2: is control. So this includes things like restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion, accounting,
Speaker 2: the wagh, the measuring, the micromanaging, the obsession. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: number one control. Next we have pain. Okay, so this
Speaker 2: means physical, mental, or emotional pain. It might even mean
Speaker 2: social or spiritual pain. Right. Practicing anything that is soul sucking,
Speaker 2: energy robbing, smile stealing, stress inducing, or that you outright
Speaker 2: do not like or do not enjoy, you're practicing hard
Speaker 2: anything that causes And this is number three. Internal discord. Okay,
Speaker 2: So this includes experiencing guilt or shame or blame. Maybe
Speaker 2: you're experiencing a lot of comparisonitis or perfectionism or judgment.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's just self criticism, right, and there's definitely we
Speaker 2: talk about that a lot on this podcast. But that
Speaker 2: internal discord, if that's what you're practicing, you're practicing hard.
Speaker 1: Number four is extremism.
Speaker 2: So this means all the black, white, all in, all
Speaker 2: out mentality, rightly, like you're either all in or you're
Speaker 2: all out, using language labeling things as good bad, right?
Speaker 1: Wrong? Should? Should it? Always?
Speaker 2: Never? Or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice
Speaker 2: your happiness, peace of mind.
Speaker 1: Or freedom for results.
Speaker 2: Okay, So if you have extremism built into your plan,
Speaker 2: you're practicing hard, your brain will never get good at it.
Speaker 1: Number five too fast or too much?
Speaker 2: Okay, So that might be that zero to sixty mentality
Speaker 2: like too much, too soon, or unsustainable expectations or unrealistic expectations,
Speaker 2: so you know that lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes
Speaker 2: kind of thought process, or again, just that zero to
Speaker 2: sixty mentality. So if it's too fast or too much,
Speaker 2: you're practicing hard. But also the flip side number six,
Speaker 2: if it's too slow or too little.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So this might show up in the form of being
Speaker 2: kind of noncommittal, right or maybe you're dabbling.
Speaker 1: In a bunch of things and you're staying like interested
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 2: But you've never committed to it, like you've never fully
Speaker 2: committed to solving the problem. And then in turn, you're
Speaker 2: living in the gray, so you're like you're not in,
Speaker 2: but you're not fully out either. And for me, honestly,
Speaker 2: sometimes like living in the gray feels harder than when
Speaker 2: I'm totally off, you know, or when I'm out, or
Speaker 2: when I'm done, or when I'm resigned. So too slow
Speaker 2: or too little could be considered hard to your brain.
Speaker 2: The other way you practice hard is if something has
Speaker 2: and this is number seven, diminishing return. So anything that
Speaker 2: gets harder the more we practice it, or it just
Speaker 2: never gets easy, or anything that we get worse at
Speaker 2: the more that we practice it, or we just never
Speaker 2: seem to get good at it, you're going to get
Speaker 2: those diminishing returns. And it's never going to be the
Speaker 2: air quotes thing that's going to heal your struggles.
Speaker 1: Right, And so those are.
Speaker 2: Seven main things that your brain could be doing that's
Speaker 2: practicing hard. And this is not the only list, right,
Speaker 2: This is not the the you know, cumulative, end all,
Speaker 2: be all list. There's other things that are not on
Speaker 2: this list, but these are the most common and honestly
Speaker 2: the most sneaky and the easiest traps to fall into
Speaker 2: if you're not aware. Luckily, though, you are now aware
Speaker 2: of all of those ways that you can practice hard.
Speaker 2: So now let's take a look at what does your
Speaker 2: brain need to practice easy or practice ease?
Speaker 1: Okay, so number one is freedom.
Speaker 2: So this is about feeling like we have a choice
Speaker 2: or an abundance of choices, right, feeling like we have
Speaker 2: influence over ourselves and our behaviors rather than those behaviors
Speaker 2: controlling us, or feeling like our brain controls us or
Speaker 2: food controls us.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Feeling free, like not chained or confined by rules and
Speaker 2: restrictions and especially diets. Right, So your brain needs to
Speaker 2: practice freedom, which is again the opposite of choice being
Speaker 2: taken away from you. Number two, though, might sound a
Speaker 2: little bit counterintuitive now that I just said freedom, But
Speaker 2: number two is actually structure. Okay, so here's the reality.
Speaker 2: Our brains desire and crave predictability and structure. Our brains
Speaker 2: want to know that we can like count on it,
Speaker 2: like count on a system or like a plan. Right,
Speaker 2: But this is very different. The idea of structure is
Speaker 2: very different than control or hard and fast rules or
Speaker 2: feeling imprisoned by that structure. Right, And so the best
Speaker 2: structure for your brain is going to be based on
Speaker 2: principles and thought processes that are in alignment with you
Speaker 2: and your values, but that also make you feel free.
Speaker 2: Remember that, like I was saying, too much control, and
Speaker 2: your inner rebel will chime in and have a field
Speaker 2: day and be like, Nope, we are not doing that.
Speaker 1: So just a little side note.
Speaker 2: One of the things I talk about with my clients
Speaker 2: but right before they graduate, so we can really hone
Speaker 2: in their recipe. One of the things I talk about
Speaker 2: with my clients right before they graduate, so we can
Speaker 2: really hone in their recipe, is this idea of like,
Speaker 2: how can we give you the structure that your brain needs,
Speaker 2: but with freedom built into the beginning, so you're getting
Speaker 2: that happy medium. And it really is like a delicate dance.
Speaker 2: It's a recipe that you need to create.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So number two is structure. Number three is flexibility. Okay,
Speaker 2: And so we can't feel totally confined in or boxed
Speaker 2: in by that structure. It has to allow us to
Speaker 2: also experience freedom while we go and enable us to
Speaker 2: adapt to our lives as we go. And that's why
Speaker 2: you know, flexibility is the opposite of hard and fast rules.
Speaker 2: And when you're in that black and white, all or
Speaker 2: nothing mindset. Flexibility doesn't look like a good thing. It
Speaker 2: looks like you air quotes fell off the wagon. And
Speaker 2: so that's why it's like we've got to get aligne
Speaker 2: with this concept of like no flexibility is part of
Speaker 2: it from the beginning, or else this plan isn't going
Speaker 2: to work for me. Right, So number three is flexibility.
Speaker 2: Number four is consistency. Okay, So if you're not able
Speaker 2: to get yourself to do it consistency consistently, I should
Speaker 2: say you are never going to get the returns. You're
Speaker 2: not going to get the return on your investment of
Speaker 2: time and energy and heart and soul. Right, and so
Speaker 2: you are off working in minimums as opposed to maximums
Speaker 2: zero to sixty, and working in minimums in small steps
Speaker 2: and baby steps, in small doses, and doing things consistently
Speaker 2: rather than working in maximums and doing it sporadically, or
Speaker 2: let's be honest, not doing it at all. And so
Speaker 2: consistency trump's intensity all day every day. So it's consistency
Speaker 2: over intensity, which is obviously not a lot of what
Speaker 2: we're doing. A lot of times people are really thinking
Speaker 2: that intensity is the way, like that go harder, go home.
Speaker 1: Kind of mindset. And you know, consistency is the key,
Speaker 1: and consistency.
Speaker 2: Over intensity is the key, which is the opposite of
Speaker 2: what most people are doing, and definitely the opposite of
Speaker 2: like diets and like the weight loss mentality and stuff
Speaker 2: like that. So consistency is number four. Sustainability. Okay, anything
Speaker 2: that we can see ourselves doing not just a week
Speaker 2: from now, but a month from now, three months from now,
Speaker 2: twelve months from now, right, and anything that doesn't fit
Speaker 2: into this category is bound to be a time limited
Speaker 2: thing and will eventually get harder.
Speaker 1: The more we practice it. Right.
Speaker 2: And so one of the things I talk to my
Speaker 2: clients about is like, first of all, I do care,
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, yes, I care about the short run,
Speaker 2: Like I want you to be happy in the short run.
Speaker 2: But like, instead of thinking about, you know, forty five
Speaker 2: or fifty five year old version of you, who do
Speaker 2: you want to be and how do you want to
Speaker 2: be feeling at sixty five seventy five, let's get optimistic
Speaker 2: one hundred and five so that you're not thinking about
Speaker 2: this and you can deal with this now and not
Speaker 2: have to live in it forever, live like working on
Speaker 2: this forever because let's be honest. Most of the people
Speaker 2: I talk to, they're like, leanne, I have been thinking
Speaker 2: about this for so many years. I've been trying to
Speaker 2: figure it out for years, like I just want to
Speaker 2: be done right. And that's where I invite you to
Speaker 2: start thinking ahead, like not just what you could do
Speaker 2: sustain like right now. And there is a time and
Speaker 2: a place. There's short term experiments where you can say, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this. It's not a forever thing.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna do it for three days. But a
Speaker 2: lot of women aren't thinking like that. In like they
Speaker 2: just commit to the next diet, the next diet, and
Speaker 2: they don't think about, like, who do I want to
Speaker 2: be a year, five years, ten years from now, so
Speaker 2: that I'm not dealing with this anymore. And that's where
Speaker 2: the sustainability piece of the puzzle comes into play. Number
Speaker 2: six is practicality, and so it fits within the constructs
Speaker 2: of our lives and our circumstances and our wants and
Speaker 2: our needs as opposed to trying to force it or
Speaker 2: overhaul our life right. And so anything that forces us
Speaker 2: to uproot our lives or sacrifice the things that are
Speaker 2: important to us is.
Speaker 1: Not going to be part of a long term solution.
Speaker 2: And it will never get easier the more you practice it,
Speaker 2: which is again the definition of what your brain needs
Speaker 2: to consider something easy like does it get easier the
Speaker 2: more I practice it?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Number seven And a lot of people don't think about this,
Speaker 2: but it's really important.
Speaker 1: Is happiness.
Speaker 2: Anything that adds joy or ease or peace or happiness
Speaker 2: or creates energy is what your brain needs.
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. It might not always be like.
Speaker 2: Pie in the sky, like happy dance joyful, right, but
Speaker 2: it just can't, at the very least take it away.
Speaker 2: So if anything is taking away your happiness or making
Speaker 2: you miserable beyond the scope of this episode, it's creating
Speaker 2: something called negative neuro associations, and your brain will never
Speaker 2: learn it long term. And then number eight, I think
Speaker 2: is one of the most important ones, but it's also
Speaker 2: kind of the simplest.
Speaker 1: Is it's got to create actual.
Speaker 2: Habit creation, Okay, And here's what I mean by that again,
Speaker 2: And you might think I sound like a broken record,
Speaker 2: but it's so important. Anything that gets easier the more
Speaker 2: we practice it, or maybe it's easy from day one,
Speaker 2: and anything that we get better at it the more
Speaker 2: we practice it, or that maybe we just start off
Speaker 2: good at it. This is what's going to enable us
Speaker 2: to keep practicing it and get the consistency and get.
Speaker 1: The reps that you actually need to create a habit. Right,
Speaker 1: and that is how you practice ease.
Speaker 2: And if you're anything like me, and remember I was
Speaker 2: dieting since I was a kid, this is not the
Speaker 2: stuff that usually comes alongside dieting or thinking about food
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven, right, that the other list when
Speaker 2: we're talking about all the ways you practice hard, that's
Speaker 2: what comes alongside that, right, And that's why you need
Speaker 2: a whole new way of thinking and are really, you know,
Speaker 2: taking a radically different approach, which again might seem foreign
Speaker 2: to a lot of women listening to this right now, right,
Speaker 2: But here's also an important side note, and I'll get
Speaker 2: kind of geeky, but not too geeky. On a brain level,
Speaker 2: short term habits and those long term like always have them,
Speaker 2: actually become a habit in your brain kind of habits.
Speaker 2: Short term and long term habits live in two separate
Speaker 2: parts of your brain. And so the long term part
Speaker 2: of your brain is driven by ease and pleasure, or
Speaker 2: at least can't be experiencing pain and when your brain
Speaker 2: experiences the opposite of those things, So if it's experiencing
Speaker 2: you know, resistance or force or persuasion like you're persuading
Speaker 2: yourself to do or not do something, or eat or
Speaker 2: not eat something, or constant.
Speaker 1: Hunger for example. Right, that's another example of you know,
Speaker 1: hard your.
Speaker 2: Brain is essentially going to say, like, don't worry, brain,
Speaker 2: we don't have to move this over to the long
Speaker 2: term storage part of our brain. She's not going to
Speaker 2: be doing that very long, right, And nine times out
Speaker 2: of ten, your brain would be right, right, unless you're
Speaker 2: just eking out willpower to do it. So again, it's
Speaker 2: just science, right, And that's when it comes to that
Speaker 2: question of does it ever get easier?
Speaker 1: Well, again, the answer is yes and no.
Speaker 2: It gets easier if you practice easier, and it never
Speaker 2: gets easier if you're practicing harder. And so we become
Speaker 2: whatever we practice, and it really does become a matter
Speaker 2: of what are you practicing. Are you practicing ease or
Speaker 2: are you practicing hard? And yeah, again, you can go
Speaker 2: play the focus on your physical appearance game over and
Speaker 2: over again and never break the cycle, or you can
Speaker 2: do what we're doing right here, and just really change
Speaker 2: your thinking so that you can get different results. But
Speaker 2: if you want to do differently and behave differently, you
Speaker 2: must think and believe differently. It really is as simple
Speaker 2: as that, and the truth is and there's no shame
Speaker 2: in it. But most women won't do this right. Most
Speaker 2: women go start looking for the next diet or the
Speaker 2: next game of control myself, or the next you know,
Speaker 2: action item they can check off like.
Speaker 1: A tick box, right. But those that do that, like
Speaker 1: stop the.
Speaker 2: Definition of insanity of you know, doing the same things
Speaker 2: over and over again and expecting different results, they're the
Speaker 2: ones that are going to find that the journey to
Speaker 2: healing actually begins and the suffering ends and all of
Speaker 2: the good stuff that comes on the other side of
Speaker 2: healing that road can finally begin.
Speaker 1: So that is it for today, outweigh, And if you
Speaker 1: want to.
Speaker 2: Learn more about how to turn off the part of
Speaker 2: your brain that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your
Speaker 2: weight and rewire your own brain for peace and freedom,
Speaker 2: then head on over to Stressless Eating dot com and
Speaker 2: sign up to watch the Stressless Eating sneak preview where
Speaker 2: I've literally peeled back the curtain and walked you through
Speaker 2: the exact strategy. I teach my clients to heal themselves
Speaker 2: from the all or nothing diet mentality for good, but
Speaker 2: without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies, and definitely without
Speaker 2: ever having to use words like macros, low carb or
Speaker 2: calorie burn.
Speaker 1: And so is there for you over at stressless eeating
Speaker 1: dot com and if you like, outweigh.
Speaker 2: I actually have another podcast here on iHeart where I
Speaker 2: talk about all of this self image and body image
Speaker 2: stuff but from the perspective of where brain science intersects
Speaker 2: faith and so it's called What's God Got to Do
Speaker 2: with It?
Speaker 1: And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Speaker 1: Leanne Ellington and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.