Speaker 1: Flame Flame.
Speaker 2: If you watch your coffee time the baby you know
Speaker 2: the name Flame my bro also known as my Roe Flame.
Speaker 2: Come in with last and come in with Jim Love loundes. Baby,
Speaker 2: you better catch it when you can drop a knowledge
Speaker 2: from fatherhood to politics, shouting now comics, just paying homage.
Speaker 3: What's up?
Speaker 4: Tips?
Speaker 2: Yeah you know she raised shot towns on speaking to
Speaker 2: the grown a second, we're gonna last cut him and
Speaker 2: kick it and at again. We leave her with just
Speaker 2: a lifted spirits. Think you want to revisit so your
Speaker 2: first like a listen, you'll folks are your slip oh
Speaker 2: folks that we dig it.
Speaker 4: Hey, no this do what you do? Ca no this
Speaker 4: do what you do?
Speaker 5: Can no do what I do?
Speaker 3: And no.
Speaker 2: Week.
Speaker 5: Hey hey, hey, welcome to this week's episode of Laughing Learning.
Speaker 5: I am your host, Blaming Roe. I also have my
Speaker 5: beautiful co host you know her as icon or Toots,
Speaker 5: but her name is Bobby Clippers, who just celebrated her
Speaker 5: thirty ninth birthday. That was your birthday present, Bobby allows
Speaker 5: you to be thirty nine again. So that was the birthday. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's what we need to do and we are so glad.
Speaker 5: You guys are here. I want to start out this
Speaker 5: week with just saying prayers to the people that are
Speaker 5: all afflicted by the wars all over the world. I
Speaker 5: absolutely hate wars because at the end of a war,
Speaker 5: you never know what it was about, and so many
Speaker 5: unnecessary casualties happen. So that is our take on the war.
Speaker 5: I'm not taking side on this. I just hate that
Speaker 5: it's all going on. And I want to say prayer
Speaker 5: to I beloved President and President Biden. I know everybody
Speaker 5: has their feelings about who they feel how they feel
Speaker 5: about whom, but I feel a great presidence of Biden,
Speaker 5: and I pray that he gets back to American soil
Speaker 5: safely and unharmed because he's over there repairing fences that
Speaker 5: another president broke. I ain't gonna get into that. We
Speaker 5: get into that another week. But this week, this week,
Speaker 5: we have a very special treat for you guys. Oh
Speaker 5: my god. So you know, like I'm a parent in comedy,
Speaker 5: we have come across another parent in comedy who is phenomenal.
Speaker 5: She is from ALBERTI camp is it Alberta? Alberta? Let
Speaker 5: me say the word Burda, Calgary. That was a car.
Speaker 5: I had something in my car Okay, So we want
Speaker 5: to welcome to a very special guest this week, and
Speaker 5: I want you, guys, all my claimants and all the
Speaker 5: listeners out there left and learned to give her thumbs
Speaker 5: around the clause. She is a fantastic comedian, phenomenal parent,
Speaker 5: and a person that you need to get to know.
Speaker 5: Makes a noise they jump for of Fira Eisenberg, Mazing Jones.
Speaker 1: Oh, hello, Yes, I grew up in Calgary, Alberta, Canada,
Speaker 1: which sounds like a you're like, all right, that is
Speaker 1: a place. But just to be clear, I left.
Speaker 5: Oh it's cold in Canada. I might have left too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I live. I've been living in New York for
Speaker 1: almost twenty years.
Speaker 4: What bought you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, I guess stand up, Really, I was, you know,
Speaker 1: I was toiling around in Canada, actually Toronto at the time,
Speaker 1: and everyone in Toronto kept talking about like a bigger
Speaker 1: scene in New York, and I thought, well, I should
Speaker 1: get there before I know what it's like to fail
Speaker 1: and have consequences.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I was just, I used to call it. I was
Speaker 1: just at the I was still at the like really
Speaker 1: happy to have Ikia furniture point in my life.
Speaker 4: Been there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not going to say it's changed. By the way,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say it's changed.
Speaker 3: I wasn't ture if it was a boy or school
Speaker 3: that brought you, what got you into comedy?
Speaker 1: You know what. I was just talking to another comedian
Speaker 1: that I'm on a tour with right now about how
Speaker 1: the first time I saw stand up comedy was at
Speaker 1: a club in Calgary, Alberta. And I didn't like it
Speaker 1: at all, like live stand up comedy. I'd seen it
Speaker 1: on television, et cetera, but live stand up comedy, and
Speaker 1: I didn't like it. I thought it was very male.
Speaker 1: I thought it was very hateful. I thought it was
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me. And this comedian said back
Speaker 1: to me, he goes, but you still did it.
Speaker 5: Huh, Well, isn't that. Isn't that what life is? When
Speaker 5: you see something that doesn't doesn't affect or doesn't work
Speaker 5: for you, if you get into it to make the change.
Speaker 5: So even if you get in common to make it
Speaker 5: more positive. But you said nothing affected to you, and
Speaker 5: you reached out to other people and you found your tribe.
Speaker 5: That is what it is. You have to find your
Speaker 5: tribe in comedy because comedy is subjective. You know. Some
Speaker 5: people may like the mean and the and the rout.
Speaker 5: Some people may like the joy, Some people may like
Speaker 5: the fun facts, you know, the simple stuff. Animal. Animal
Speaker 5: jokes work with everybody. Animal jokes work with everybody, unless
Speaker 5: it's abusive. But I love that. I love that. I
Speaker 5: was gonna ask you, so, what was this scene like
Speaker 5: in Alberta, Canada, and albert and alert Calgary a bt
Speaker 5: different from New York because I love East Coast common,
Speaker 5: I love East Coast com Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I actually the very first time I stepped on
Speaker 1: stage was in Vancouver, so as far west as you
Speaker 1: can go in the darn country, and it was you know,
Speaker 1: I think it was. I had no perspective, but I
Speaker 1: thought it was pretty good. I thought it was very open.
Speaker 1: I was with other amateur comedians, and let me tell you,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of women. There was people of
Speaker 1: different ages, different backgrounds. It actually never occurred to me
Speaker 1: until much later that there was so much kind of
Speaker 1: like white male energy in stand up because a bunch
Speaker 1: of the amateurs that I was around, they were just
Speaker 1: all different, Like, it never didn't occur to me that
Speaker 1: it would be weird to start when you were fifty five,
Speaker 1: or that it'd be weird to start if you were
Speaker 1: in high school. Like, it was just so much variety.
Speaker 1: So in that way it set me up pretty good,
Speaker 1: and then I learned the other lessons later.
Speaker 5: Comedy is definitely a learning process. Every time you get
Speaker 5: on stage, that's young comedy, solid fame, you will find
Speaker 5: something new about you, not about the audience. What about you. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 5: I'm looking. We have questions that I want to ask you.
Speaker 5: So you're the youngest of six.
Speaker 1: Yes, it feels like when I say that, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about being a child from a different generational era, because
Speaker 1: it's kind of rare that people have six kids rolling around.
Speaker 5: Oh my biggest question is if you was the baby
Speaker 5: of six, did you ever get anything new or was
Speaker 5: everything a hand me down?
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, everything was a hand me down. All
Speaker 1: my clothes for sure. And on top of that, my
Speaker 1: mother very old fashioned. She was a very good seamstress.
Speaker 1: So even if things like were being handed down and
Speaker 1: there were the wrong size, or my brothers, she would
Speaker 1: change them. She would just change them. On the other side,
Speaker 1: I had my barbies had the most amazing clothes. My
Speaker 1: mother would make clothes from my Barbies and they I
Speaker 1: had fur hats for them and really cool like green
Speaker 1: plastic see through raincoats from all just the different fabric.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, my barbiees had a high fashion that
Speaker 1: were a couture. They had bespoke couture outfits.
Speaker 5: Oh that is that is so funny because your obsession
Speaker 5: was putting clothes on body, My was taking them all. Bobby,
Speaker 5: feel freez up in here whatever you want.
Speaker 3: I know, I'm just listening to her talk about making
Speaker 3: clothes because my mom did it, like the butt tricks,
Speaker 3: remember the butt Tricks patterns and whatnot.
Speaker 4: And my mother did the same thing. She would take
Speaker 4: for us.
Speaker 3: She would take somebody else's outfit and or stuff they
Speaker 3: were getting rid of, and she would she never because
Speaker 3: she had herself. She was one of eleven, my mom,
Speaker 3: so they were pour so she would always be making
Speaker 3: people's clothes over and so she would do that for me,
Speaker 3: and that way nobody else knew that had handed them down,
Speaker 3: that that's exactly they'd look.
Speaker 4: And go, that looks familiar. But she'd remake everything. I
Speaker 4: love it.
Speaker 3: She was never so nice. I'm going to have to
Speaker 3: tell her. She was a miserable mother. She never made
Speaker 3: clothes for any of my dolls.
Speaker 5: I never had. You know what the irony of this
Speaker 5: whole conversation is that when we were big families, I
Speaker 5: didn't have a big family. My mama only had three,
Speaker 5: but my grandmother had like nine kids. I don't think
Speaker 5: that we knew that we were poor. They were just
Speaker 5: having kids and we were never hungry. You know, Thames
Speaker 5: were tight, you know, but I don't think we knew
Speaker 5: we were poor. Now the Internet makes you remind you
Speaker 5: that you're poor, you're you're less, saying you're not as
Speaker 5: good as That's what they make you try to believe.
Speaker 5: I don't teach my child.
Speaker 1: You know. The reason the one thing I knew that
Speaker 1: there was different is that when I grew up, it
Speaker 1: was it was a time of economic prosperity for my
Speaker 1: family comparatively, And so I was given ballet lessons. I
Speaker 1: wanted ballet lessons, and I was given ballet lessons, and
Speaker 1: no other of the kids had extracurricular activities paying for
Speaker 1: an extra curric Are you crazy? But I got ballet lessons.
Speaker 1: And I will tell you that somehow that ended up
Speaker 1: making me a stand up because I went through I went.
Speaker 1: I went through all these ballet lessons from elementary school
Speaker 1: all the way through high school. And my school was
Speaker 1: pretty serious and I worked hard, but I was never great.
Speaker 1: And they would give out awards, and I remember at
Speaker 1: the end of I think I was, you know, fourteen,
Speaker 1: everyone got awards like best Pirouette or Amazing Jette or
Speaker 1: whatever it was, and I got Miss Personality.
Speaker 5: Oh that's the that's what you just showed up with ward.
Speaker 1: Nothing says you're not gonna be a dancer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 3: That's but it probably did get you ready because you
Speaker 3: were comfortable be in front of a stage, you know,
Speaker 3: in front of people.
Speaker 5: That that and it built you a character. Because now
Speaker 5: everybody is given an award, so there's no distinction of
Speaker 5: who's the best, who's the second best is because everybody
Speaker 5: now gets ah, you get honorable mention. It makes people weak.
Speaker 5: To me, that's just my opinion. I like, these keys
Speaker 5: need to work forward.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 5: We're glad you participated, but you have to work to
Speaker 5: get this trophy. But they don't have that anymore because
Speaker 5: everybody wants to be rewarded for nothing.
Speaker 1: That is so true.
Speaker 4: It's true.
Speaker 1: I also I also think, like just the discipline of
Speaker 1: doing something all the time and maybe not being good
Speaker 1: at it. As you know, ballet and that dance did
Speaker 1: not come supernaturally to me. My body was not, you know,
Speaker 1: something like the physical like that. There are people with
Speaker 1: just advantages based on how their genetics are put together,
Speaker 1: and the rest of us have to work really really
Speaker 1: hard to just get okay. And let me tell you
Speaker 1: something that is a good thing to learn for stand
Speaker 1: up comedy, because stand up comedy requires a huge commitment
Speaker 1: and a lot of discipline. I think some people go faster,
Speaker 1: some people start really naturally great, but at a certain
Speaker 1: point you're all going to due.
Speaker 5: You gonna do that. Oh yeah, And any comedian, any
Speaker 5: comedian work there waiting salt will say I've had some
Speaker 5: lousy nights, And I said that because that's what you
Speaker 5: have to do. It was one show. If you come
Speaker 5: take that whole component on was like I wasn't. It
Speaker 5: was one show. You might have two shows bad back
Speaker 5: to back. Now if you have three or more, you
Speaker 5: might want to rethink your profession. But but don't.
Speaker 3: Don't you learn something now, guys, I mean because I'm
Speaker 3: not I'm not a comedian when you have those bad shows,
Speaker 3: isn't there something like a pearl that you can pull
Speaker 3: away and say I didn't hit the timing right? Or
Speaker 3: maybe for this you have to change your set for
Speaker 3: a certain audience because you know, if you neither one
Speaker 3: of you are too raunchy. But if you are doing
Speaker 3: raunchy things, you're not going to do it in front
Speaker 3: of a seven year old audience. No, It's it's like
Speaker 3: a lesson, right.
Speaker 1: I think you have to accept the process of it too,
Speaker 1: which is its own kind of interesting mind shift because
Speaker 1: I some times we'll have a string of not great
Speaker 1: shows at like a club, and I'll say to another
Speaker 1: comedian that I highly respect and look up to, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I gotta like get through this rut,
Speaker 1: and they go, oh, you know, every once in a while,
Speaker 1: I'll just do a bunch of shows and I'll even
Speaker 1: go I'll say to myself, am I even a comedian?
Speaker 1: And just to know that everyone's always going through that,
Speaker 1: And I think that's better because, like you said, Bobby,
Speaker 1: it makes you reflect and go, what's different? What do
Speaker 1: I need to change? Something's not working? I need to
Speaker 1: grow with this instead of just going like, well, just
Speaker 1: keep doing it, it will work again.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is that is very true. I fear because
Speaker 5: a lot of comedians take on every show, got the
Speaker 5: h and I love. I love when I have a
Speaker 5: string of twelve straight great shows in a row. But
Speaker 5: then when at thirteen will come, I'm gonna allow that
Speaker 5: to have more more power of me having a bad
Speaker 5: show than the twelve that I'm twelve consistently good shows
Speaker 5: that hey, and you're right here, we do question like, oh,
Speaker 5: is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? Should
Speaker 5: I be a comedian? Because it's like that, and you know,
Speaker 5: and for us so we've been in a game for
Speaker 5: twenty years, it's still like that. It is October and
Speaker 5: it is recipentis awareness month, and we've seen in your
Speaker 5: bio that your mom survived. For me answer so, oh
Speaker 5: thank god.
Speaker 4: Oh Farah, oh Sarah me?
Speaker 5: Are you s yes? Are you look? I hope to
Speaker 5: get mammograms. I hope they haven't. Fan it's a couple
Speaker 5: of months in here, but I think they like, don't know,
Speaker 5: for a VISCA or something. I'm not sure. How was
Speaker 5: how was that when you were diagnosed with that? How
Speaker 5: was that?
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, the the non funny side of
Speaker 1: it is that it broke me apart into pieces. I
Speaker 1: think because you feel I felt a sense of intense betrayal,
Speaker 1: betrayal of my body, betrayal of the world. Like I
Speaker 1: was like, this is not my story, this is not
Speaker 1: how it's supposed to be. I don't want to deal
Speaker 1: with this being you know, I grew up in Canada,
Speaker 1: but I've obviously lived in the US for many years.
Speaker 1: But dealing with the medical system is very hard. You
Speaker 1: have to stand up for yourself lot and really wade
Speaker 1: through that. I will say that, you know, when I
Speaker 1: was eight, I went on stage a lot, every time
Speaker 1: I could throughout all of it, and the stage became
Speaker 1: my refuge because you know, you're so active when you're
Speaker 1: on stage. You're so active. You know, people talk about
Speaker 1: live in the moment, be present. There's no living in
Speaker 1: the moment like you are when you're on stage. And
Speaker 1: I could kind of pretend I was what the old
Speaker 1: O Fera like, I wasn't ready yet to move on
Speaker 1: to whoever I was going to be coming up. I
Speaker 1: didn't know who that was because I was in the
Speaker 1: middle of it. But I could be the old O
Speaker 1: Fera and I loved it. I loved living in this
Speaker 1: kind of suspended fantasy of everything's okay. You know, and
Speaker 1: you get the light. I'm sure many of your listeners know.
Speaker 1: If I'm listening to all your episodes as a stand up,
Speaker 1: they often give you the light when it's time to
Speaker 1: get off stage at a club, and I would want
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to get off because I'd be like,
Speaker 1: then I have to go back to reality.
Speaker 5: As as a person who transy the woman who have breath,
Speaker 5: I want to tell you or something I want to
Speaker 5: tell you, thank you for choosing to fight to live
Speaker 5: because a lot of times it's mind of a manner
Speaker 5: to peep with me to people because you hear something
Speaker 5: horrible and oh, this is it for me, I'm done.
Speaker 5: It's not. You have to turn it around mentally because
Speaker 5: the man controls everything. And I love you. Thank you
Speaker 5: for choosing to fight and winning. Thank you for that,
Speaker 5: because a lot of people just throw into towel and
Speaker 5: say it's over, I'm done, I'm going to die. This
Speaker 5: is it. It's never it, It's never it, and that
Speaker 5: you choose for it to be it. So thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my goodness, that is so so nice here here,
Speaker 1: and it is it is scary, and you know, I
Speaker 1: feel like there is I become very aware of, you know,
Speaker 1: that kind of life force in you where you kind
Speaker 1: of get I don't know, I got a little angry,
Speaker 1: like I was like, I can't wait to get through
Speaker 1: this so I can make fun of it, and I
Speaker 1: want to write about it, and I want to I
Speaker 1: also so I just wanted I didn't relate to the
Speaker 1: pink ribbon campaign. I didn't relate to a lot of
Speaker 1: the stuff that was like, all right, everybody, you have
Speaker 1: breast cancer, throwing a pink bow on hop on a bike.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, like, where are where are the
Speaker 1: people like me that want the I don't know, goth version, like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's all dress in black and have a bourbon shot
Speaker 1: to talk about how things are weird. You know. So
Speaker 1: I wanted to. I wanted to be so young, too
Speaker 1: so soon and out of nowhere. You know, I think
Speaker 1: they apply us with genetics and I didn't have any
Speaker 1: of the markers. So it just felt like, you know,
Speaker 1: and that's the truth of all so many things in
Speaker 1: the medical industry. You want answers. You're like, well, how
Speaker 1: did it happen, where's it come from? And sometimes they
Speaker 1: just go, I don't know. Hard, that is so hard.
Speaker 4: Somebody's got to be first. Yeah, yeah, somebody's got to
Speaker 4: be first.
Speaker 5: And how many children do you have with I.
Speaker 1: Just have one, but he feels like many.
Speaker 3: Well, well you were older, right, so I had mine
Speaker 3: really young, so you have tons of energy, So having
Speaker 3: one that's a little. If I ever had one, my god,
Speaker 3: I have to take a nap and a snack just
Speaker 3: to get them out of bed.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you thank you, thank you? Flame it?
Speaker 1: How many I have?
Speaker 5: My pull out game? And my pull out game was
Speaker 5: not as tight as you learned. It's called trial by era,
Speaker 5: trial by era. I can't get caught up. But how
Speaker 5: much how much does your child did you take to
Speaker 5: use as a material on stage? Because my children have
Speaker 5: become my greatest material from experience.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, oh yes, I mean for one, I think,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a gold mine out there. If you
Speaker 1: don't use it, you were missing out. And two I yeah,
Speaker 1: so I just so much. And I even host a
Speaker 1: podcast called Parenting as a Joke, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: you need to come on, where we talk about funny
Speaker 1: people comedians, because you know, this is a very non
Speaker 1: traditional job we have with weird hours and what it's
Speaker 1: like to parent on top of that. So I use
Speaker 1: my kid in my act as much as possible, you know,
Speaker 1: bearing in mind that I think as he gets older,
Speaker 1: I'll have to maybe pull back a little bit because
Speaker 1: I don't want him to ever feel like I'm talking
Speaker 1: about him on stage, you know. But it's a gold mine.
Speaker 1: And I also like the fact that I, you know,
Speaker 1: I come from this perspective where I was I was
Speaker 1: child I thought I was going to be childless by
Speaker 1: choice forever. I change my mind and managed to get pregnant,
Speaker 1: you know, by a miracle and have a child. And
Speaker 1: I like talking about it on stage because I want
Speaker 1: I want everyone to kind of look at me and
Speaker 1: just think that it's cool and it's relevant and it's real,
Speaker 1: you know, because I think some people go, oh, like
Speaker 1: parenting humor, it's i don't know, like not not cool, right,
Speaker 1: It's like, especially mom humor. They'll be like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: not cool, and I'm like, no, it's totally cool. It's
Speaker 1: it's totally relevant and you're gonna laugh at this because
Speaker 1: it's part of the human experience. And I cannot tell
Speaker 1: you the amount of people that come up to me
Speaker 1: after a show and basically secretly just want to know
Speaker 1: all kinds of things. They're like, did you have fertility?
Speaker 1: Things like people are so curious if they are thinking
Speaker 1: of having a family, like a how are you doing
Speaker 1: it with the night? So many questions. So I feel
Speaker 1: like that's good. I must be hitting some conversation that
Speaker 1: people aren't having.
Speaker 5: And that is what a great comedian is to me,
Speaker 5: my opinion, will Field someone who could talk about stuff
Speaker 5: that is relatable to everybody. Now no gender, no sex,
Speaker 5: no size, no color, but it's relatable. So you are
Speaker 5: helping and teaching somebody. But my key is I always
Speaker 5: tell them as much money as gonna cost me. Oh,
Speaker 5: I'm getting my money back. On page I tell my
Speaker 5: key is up on page I tell the answers up.
Speaker 5: I got to give them. They spend my money, I'm
Speaker 5: getting my money back. So if you guys are the
Speaker 5: base of Mama material, if y'all are the basis of
Speaker 5: my material and it relates across the world, I'm getting
Speaker 5: my money back.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: It's identifiable. I mean, I love that.
Speaker 3: That's the storytelling and the family storytelling, like that's what
Speaker 3: when I first saw Flame, it was the they ready
Speaker 3: special that Tiffany Hattyship have produced, and I immediately connected.
Speaker 3: As she was talking, I'm like, oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, so I think people, you know, I think
Speaker 3: the bulk of the people actually identify that as relatable.
Speaker 3: As long as it's not too whiny, like you're not
Speaker 3: like poor me, as long as you're making fun of
Speaker 3: the situation or you know, doing that, I think it's terrific.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because the hypocrisy is if we have children, especially
Speaker 5: like Adelestas are teenagers, they're pretty much the same people.
Speaker 5: They look different, but they do pretty much the same thing.
Speaker 5: So that's why it's so relatable. We may call it
Speaker 5: something different, but it's the same thing. And they say
Speaker 5: they're terrible too, that say, no, honey, wait to get fifty.
Speaker 1: I can imagine I'm just dealing with an eight year
Speaker 1: old life. So I have no idea. But you know,
Speaker 1: on top of that, I really I think there is
Speaker 1: this sort of framework, especially for you know, a woman
Speaker 1: on stage just identifying as a woman that the audio,
Speaker 1: there's this idea that the audience needs to see you
Speaker 1: as a sexually viable product. And so sometimes when you
Speaker 1: talk about parenting, they're going to be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't see it as much. So I'm also trying to
Speaker 1: be like no, and I'm not. I'm not also a
Speaker 1: like wine in the sippy cup, it's wine o'clock. Like
Speaker 1: I enjoy a drink, don't get me wrong, but it's
Speaker 1: not really my that's not my tone. And so and
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's gotta be other people like me who
Speaker 1: want something just a little like a little smarter, a
Speaker 1: little different way into this conversation.
Speaker 5: It is. It is great. That is great to relate.
Speaker 5: So I feel when I'm on stage, when I do
Speaker 5: my hour, I do this thing at the end of
Speaker 5: like forty fist fifty minutes, this call. If you're not
Speaker 5: scared to ask it, I'm not scared to And maybe
Speaker 5: you should consider because you're a great conversationist. While you're
Speaker 5: on stage, after you finish your set, have them turn
Speaker 5: the house flight stuff and let people ask you real
Speaker 5: questions about the breast you know, about the breastcancer, about
Speaker 5: being a parent. But it is what it does. It
Speaker 5: really brings your audience to you. Then they feel like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, not only did I go see your fear,
Speaker 5: but now I'm a part of the show. It is
Speaker 5: so and I do that all the time because people
Speaker 5: have a million questions as opposed to be standing in
Speaker 5: lane taking pictures, and they want to ask all the questions.
Speaker 5: Then ask it now. When then I'll give you the
Speaker 5: opportunity because when I don't want to take your pictures,
Speaker 5: they got COVID.
Speaker 1: I don't want to take That's wonderful. No, that's wonderful.
Speaker 4: I know right now it's scary.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, every other person.
Speaker 5: I think you would be great at that of fear.
Speaker 5: I think that, and I think that you would really
Speaker 5: help because that's what we ask comedian, And I love
Speaker 5: what you said about when you're going through something, when
Speaker 5: your son is giving you a hard time, or you're
Speaker 5: having a bad day. When you go on stage, that
Speaker 5: is when your power kick in because not only is
Speaker 5: it our therapy that we can talk to somebody openly
Speaker 5: about it, but we get a chance to just own
Speaker 5: the room and it just makes all of that bag
Speaker 5: go away because I'm like, I got an audience. They're
Speaker 5: sitting this, I'm sitting my fat ass on a chair
Speaker 5: and they miss into everything. I say, that's a great
Speaker 5: place to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know when someone you talk about something that
Speaker 1: you're going through, or someone else is going through something traumatic,
Speaker 1: but then they make a joke, it communicates that they're
Speaker 1: okay in some way, right, because you have enough of
Speaker 1: this sort of hindsight. You know, Comedy and stand up
Speaker 1: and humor has always been part of that showing that
Speaker 1: we're okay. And I feel like when you go on
Speaker 1: stage and you start, you know, this is just classic
Speaker 1: when you start going through those hard things and finding
Speaker 1: the little twist in it that tells your audience that
Speaker 1: you're okay, and you know what they want to be okay.
Speaker 1: They are so desperate to be okay with whatever their goal.
Speaker 4: That's why they're there.
Speaker 5: And that is so true, Fear, and I love that
Speaker 5: you know that. You know. I talk about this and
Speaker 5: tell people as young comics, I say, you have to
Speaker 5: read the room that you're working. I am not a
Speaker 5: huge Trump saying as far as his politics, but I
Speaker 5: love his antiqus. So when I go on stage, I
Speaker 5: don't talk about his politics political views. I talk about
Speaker 5: his antics. That he liked the grab woman by the couchie.
Speaker 5: I'm like, please, introduce him to me. Oh, I want
Speaker 5: him to grab me by man, Please introduce me to him.
Speaker 5: You know, just because if I'm working in a room
Speaker 5: full of trumpetkins and I have what I'm being on
Speaker 5: tour with day right now, his audience is probably sixty
Speaker 5: Trump supported. If I go on stage and attack Trump,
Speaker 5: they will hate me if I attack his political views.
Speaker 5: But if I attack his character that we all laugh at.
Speaker 5: I make it easy. And what you said about having
Speaker 5: a funny impact. You can give out information to people
Speaker 5: and you can go deep into the dark hole, but
Speaker 5: if you come out of it with a funny they
Speaker 5: still hear it, but the impact is so much different.
Speaker 5: That's what shit will feel. That's great. I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're clearly the living.
Speaker 5: Because the people forget it. We got to get him
Speaker 5: past these tens up here. When I get know you
Speaker 5: can get past lisonalities. You're good once you get past that.
Speaker 3: Did awesome. Speaking about being a parent, Oh fear, I'm
Speaker 3: actually going to ask you flaining the same question. What
Speaker 3: would you say is the biggest I want to hear
Speaker 3: on the big kids side the little kid's side, having
Speaker 3: a little one and trying to do this type of job.
Speaker 3: What do you find are the biggest challenges I find.
Speaker 1: I mean the hours are pretty intense because my child
Speaker 1: does not sleep in ha ha. So it's like you know,
Speaker 1: in every parenting book you'll read, especially when they're really little,
Speaker 1: will be like, you need time for yourself, just get
Speaker 1: up an hour before everybody in the family gets up.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, so I should go to bed at
Speaker 1: two am when I get home from my sets, and
Speaker 1: then I should get up at what is that five
Speaker 1: So just three hours asleep for me? Of course, why not?
Speaker 1: I need nothing? Ha. So the hours, the hours suck.
Speaker 1: But there's other things that you know, are great about
Speaker 1: it because we I have, I have a very flexible schedule. Also,
Speaker 1: we can we can do things and I you know,
Speaker 1: he he can come with me to shows probably in
Speaker 1: a few years, not exactly watch the Comedians. But I
Speaker 1: think that's an interesting insight into the world which I
Speaker 1: never had. And you know, there's a lot of fact
Speaker 1: flexibility and travel and but yeah, I feel like that
Speaker 1: is the main thing is just the hours, the hours.
Speaker 5: Yeah, system life. I so.
Speaker 1: Other than my partner, my husband is I would pay
Speaker 1: for it. That would be the end of it. Everything
Speaker 1: everyone else. Yeah, my parents aren't around anymore, and my
Speaker 1: husband's parents are not in a situation to do any
Speaker 1: real childcare. And I moved away from my extended family.
Speaker 1: My husband didn't really have like we are. We are
Speaker 1: just like it's us or we pay for us.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, that's right, listen, I understand that totally. But
Speaker 5: what you said about taking your kid to the comy club,
Speaker 5: I had a three year old, a three month old
Speaker 5: and a three and a half year old. I would
Speaker 5: take them to the comedy clubs and me and sit
Speaker 5: them in the green room. Yeah, while I went on
Speaker 5: stage because I had to get on stage, they would
Speaker 5: sit in the green room and you know, I had
Speaker 5: to change my clothes. What have you. My children have
Speaker 5: been a part of my my career, life, their whole lives.
Speaker 5: So and I'm with you. I have no support system here.
Speaker 5: I moved from Chicago to Long Beach and I didn't
Speaker 5: know anybody and my mom. I was leaving with them.
Speaker 5: I was leaving with their grandmother on the mother's side.
Speaker 5: The mother was out the picture, so it was just
Speaker 5: us and I love you. Just had to make it
Speaker 5: work because when you're stand up comedian and it's in you.
Speaker 5: There is an itch that has to be scratching. The
Speaker 5: only way to scratch it is on the stage with
Speaker 5: a microphone sometimes and more often than not, when that
Speaker 5: it hits you, it's like a cracky as you get well,
Speaker 5: I've never got a crassy not to it anyway. I've
Speaker 5: tried a lot of other things, but not of that.
Speaker 5: When it hits you, you got to get out there
Speaker 5: and you get to scratch that. It's because it makes you.
Speaker 5: You'll go insane if you don't. And that's the truth.
Speaker 5: You will go insane if you can't get an audience.
Speaker 5: And the internet doesn't help. For me, are a rider
Speaker 5: from except on the same call. I need a room.
Speaker 5: It could be smoke field. I need, I need assids
Speaker 5: in a seat, and I need to feel the energy
Speaker 5: I do. I need to feel the energy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know the one thing that I think of.
Speaker 1: I have no hindsight on this yet, but another comedian,
Speaker 1: great comedian, Lorie Cilmartin, said to me that she was like,
Speaker 1: our kids get this unique perspective where they're going to
Speaker 1: see their parent who is in entertainment actually making a
Speaker 1: living from it, which I didn't have. I had no
Speaker 1: idea that you could make any like there was, I
Speaker 1: had no anyone to look up to and go like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a viable choice. But our kids, for better or worse,
Speaker 1: they're going to be like, oh, maybe I'll do that
Speaker 1: because you can make a career and support people off
Speaker 1: of that, and then we will tell the no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you pick something secure.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I love what you said about comedy being
Speaker 5: a white male dominated field, which is still really it
Speaker 5: really is a white male dominated field. The difference is
Speaker 5: I'm not a white male, but I am a black
Speaker 5: male female and I play no games. Maybe yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: a combination of everything. So yeah, you got to come
Speaker 5: with it all because I don't let you slack. But
Speaker 5: I do stand for when I am. I'm a very
Speaker 5: strong advocate for biological women and that is in all
Speaker 5: aspects of my career and in life. And I do
Speaker 5: get a lot of backlad because of that, Opira, And
Speaker 5: how do you feel has it changed you've been doing
Speaker 5: comedy work almost has it changed as a female comedian
Speaker 5: from what you see now from what you saw back?
Speaker 1: I just feel it has changed, and I feel like
Speaker 1: where we're at now, I think there is a lot
Speaker 1: of it that is better, but it's not across the board.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's just there's more sort of pockets.
Speaker 1: Like I think my best audience is as diverse in
Speaker 1: every manner as possible. That is like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to play to me. I don't want to play to parents.
Speaker 1: I don't want to play to white people or just moms.
Speaker 1: I want I want every I don't want to play
Speaker 1: to a specific ag rate. I want every age in there.
Speaker 1: I want people from every economic situation like that to me,
Speaker 1: I love it when I always fight for tickets to
Speaker 1: be pretty inexpensive or have a sliding scale, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: people should be allowed to come to shows for five bucks.
Speaker 1: They should be allowed to be in that room if
Speaker 1: they don't have the money, how do we how do
Speaker 1: we get these people in the room because that is
Speaker 1: a good audience. And I perform in New York, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's pretty good. But there's still lineups that
Speaker 1: I'm on where I'm the only woman. It's crazy, and
Speaker 1: I feel like nobody in some ways. You go there
Speaker 1: must be a lot of backlash that there's just not
Speaker 1: more diversity on the stage in every manner, and then
Speaker 1: you just go or does nobody care? And then I'll
Speaker 1: go to other rooms where the lineup, you know, everyone
Speaker 1: is just coming from a completely different perspective, and you
Speaker 1: know what, that's a good show. That is a good show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like better in side places women.
Speaker 5: I really, I really don't care for comedy shows with
Speaker 5: no women. I pushed that all the time on Fear,
Speaker 5: because you have to have everybody's perspective. I want to hear.
Speaker 5: Of course, I want to hear the men talk about
Speaker 5: the woman and this in and that, but I want
Speaker 5: to hear the woman's version of it. I want to
Speaker 5: hear the opposite side of it because they which is
Speaker 5: which is what I do on stage because I am
Speaker 5: the man and sometimes the girl at the same time
Speaker 5: on stage. But I like to have a woman on
Speaker 5: the show because a woman's perspective is value, is valuable,
Speaker 5: and I think it has changed for women because there's
Speaker 5: like it's what you said, though the pay I be
Speaker 5: the same, but the the what is the word I'm
Speaker 5: looking for about it? When you more representation is better? Yeah,
Speaker 5: you see so many women now. And thank you John
Speaker 5: Rivers for that. John Rivers was thank you Ruth Buzzy
Speaker 5: for that thank you what was her name? Who was
Speaker 5: funny looking at Philip Diller. They were in the they
Speaker 5: were in the trenches when they were treated badly and
Speaker 5: and underpaid and overworked, or they had to sleep with
Speaker 5: somebody to get a position, and that it's not like
Speaker 5: that don't still happen. But they paid the way for
Speaker 5: so many women to Elaine Boozers and say, hey, where
Speaker 5: he to see us? Will be Goldberg. They were out
Speaker 5: there and they're still here. They made a way for
Speaker 5: so many female comics to now dumb it. My only
Speaker 5: issue was some female comics is when the when the
Speaker 5: set isn't going well, they immediately go to therapy. Don't
Speaker 5: go to therapy because that shows fear. It does. Don't
Speaker 5: run to therapy. They'll go so they set the first
Speaker 5: two or three jokes, don't lay and they go to well,
Speaker 5: you know having a hard time. You know, I'm here
Speaker 5: going through a divorce. Don't go to therapy. The audience
Speaker 5: does not care about that. Stay on that set and
Speaker 5: make them bad. What you're selling. It's gonna be rough sometimes,
Speaker 5: but make them by I make them bad. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: ain't going to therapy. My my favorite line is y'all
Speaker 5: didn't get that.
Speaker 1: You know, supposedly, and I don't know if this is true,
Speaker 1: but Judy Garland, of all people, before she would go
Speaker 1: on stage, supposedly would hold on either side of the
Speaker 1: velvet curtain and to psych herself up before she opened
Speaker 1: up and dinner show, she would just go fuck them,
Speaker 1: fuck them, fuck them, and then hello. And I think
Speaker 1: about that very often. I'm like, that's the mentality I
Speaker 1: think that.
Speaker 5: I think that builds such a strong resistance to you
Speaker 5: that I am here. Y'all pay come and see me.
Speaker 5: Y'all paid to come and laugh with me. So don't
Speaker 5: let me get in my head to block what I'm
Speaker 5: about to bring into the joy I'm about to bring
Speaker 5: into this audience. And a lot of comedians do that.
Speaker 5: They worry about what if they don't like me? I
Speaker 5: don't I love that. I don't hear a damn if
Speaker 5: I love me.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a huge, huge part of it. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm still learning that because I was raised
Speaker 1: and whatever just so approval based people pleaser, Oh is
Speaker 1: this good enough? How about this? Maybe if I did
Speaker 1: it this way, you would like me. Maybe if I
Speaker 1: was this way, you would like me, and so that's
Speaker 1: a constant hurdle for me to jump over, which is
Speaker 1: kind of like interesting because I still do that in
Speaker 1: real life even though I combat it. But on stage,
Speaker 1: I you know, I live for authority, for being like
Speaker 1: I'm in control. I tell you when to breathe, I
Speaker 1: tell you when to clap. Let's do this, and you
Speaker 1: know that's that's where I like, that's my that's the ideal.
Speaker 5: I had the backup of fear. When you say that,
Speaker 5: I'm like, maybe she has a penis, because that is
Speaker 5: the attitude that I need some of these female comedians
Speaker 5: to have when they go off stage because sometimes they
Speaker 5: feel weaker thand it next to to me and absolutely not,
Speaker 5: you are doing the exact same.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Plus there's people in that audience that want to
Speaker 1: hear you don't take that away from them. They're actually
Speaker 1: they're like why why why would you already tell them
Speaker 1: that they don't that they made a mistake there there's
Speaker 1: there's always gonna be I'm a we all are I
Speaker 1: think as stand ups like experts in finding someone in
Speaker 1: the audience, we can see maybe before the lighting provides
Speaker 1: us only a couple of rows who is not having
Speaker 1: a good time, and you don't know. You don't know
Speaker 1: if they had a terrible day, if they're if their
Speaker 1: idea of laughing is just a big, thin smile, like
Speaker 1: I don't know. But you make that person all of
Speaker 1: your fears and all of your self hate and all
Speaker 1: of your failure and rejection. You put it all on
Speaker 1: that person instead of looking at all the other people
Speaker 1: that might be having a good time. And that's another
Speaker 1: exercise you got to work yourself through.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you say you've been here twenty years old. Here
Speaker 5: are you a United States citizens?
Speaker 1: I just became one a couple of years ago.
Speaker 4: April twenty one.
Speaker 5: Right, How difficult was that?
Speaker 1: Okay, so I have almost failed every test I've ever
Speaker 1: taken in my entire life.
Speaker 4: I want to get in. If I had to take
Speaker 4: a test to get it, and I want to get in.
Speaker 1: So it was I studied so hard, and you have
Speaker 1: to study from one hundred questions and then they asked
Speaker 1: you ten in the room. And let me tell you,
Speaker 1: the questions I got asked were very simple. It was like,
Speaker 1: who you know who serves for the president, if the
Speaker 1: president cannot serve, what is the name of the ocean
Speaker 1: on the west side of the country. I mean, they
Speaker 1: weren't very tricky, but I was in the waiting room
Speaker 1: I remember, with a bunch of other people that were
Speaker 1: there to take the test, and I was like, why
Speaker 1: does no one but me have flash carts? Like everybody
Speaker 1: else just seems so calm, And I was going through
Speaker 1: my handmade flash cards and I was so nervous.
Speaker 4: I would too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I always wondered what until become what kind of
Speaker 5: test they gave you to become an American cities. I'm like, well,
Speaker 5: what would you ask me? Who is the president?
Speaker 3: What year?
Speaker 5: I would have say, Roosevelt in nineteen forty seven.
Speaker 3: I like the question that that she just said, like
Speaker 3: if the president's out, who would be in? I don't
Speaker 3: think half of the people today realized the peril that
Speaker 3: we're in without a speaker.
Speaker 4: They don't get that they're next next in line, even
Speaker 4: if the party is different. So I think I love that.
Speaker 4: I think I think we'd all.
Speaker 3: Should have to have some sort of test like that,
Speaker 3: whether it's to graduate high school, whether it's people just
Speaker 3: don't understand politics now, not that I don't have great
Speaker 3: understanding for the for the intricacies, but for the basics,
Speaker 3: to just know the basics and how your government works,
Speaker 3: because it's really tricky. I don't know how it is
Speaker 3: in Canada. Is there a huge difference between the way
Speaker 3: the politics in Canada are or the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit. I mean because this is the
Speaker 1: parliamentary system, so it's more based on there's many parties
Speaker 1: and based on majorities. But you know, the Speaker of
Speaker 1: the House, as it were, the Speaker of Parliament in
Speaker 1: Canada was recently ousted. Yeah, so I mean there is.
Speaker 1: There's the same amount I would say of.
Speaker 5: His name would be McCarthy to his brother, his brother.
Speaker 1: Uh so there's like you know, and and here I
Speaker 1: would say, there is, and it's more in America now,
Speaker 1: but there is such a focus in a good way,
Speaker 1: I hope, continually good way on Indigenous rights and recognizing,
Speaker 1: uh the peril that the Indigenous people have had to
Speaker 1: have been subjected to since you know settlers came here
Speaker 1: right around this time of year.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just changed our Columbus Day in Massachusetts anyway,
Speaker 3: to which is where I'm from, to Indigenous Day.
Speaker 4: So they got a day, they.
Speaker 1: Got they got a day. Yeah, So I mean there is.
Speaker 5: I'm seriously consider moving to Canada if I it don't change,
Speaker 5: I just don't want to deal with the cold weather.
Speaker 5: Good guy gets cold.
Speaker 1: It is cult. By the way, I'm in Canada right now,
Speaker 1: and I looked out the window this morning and I
Speaker 1: was like, how did I used to live like this?
Speaker 4: It's so pretty though, It's so pretty up there.
Speaker 3: Everything is so lush and gorgeous, and yeah, that's how
Speaker 3: you did it, and you didn't know any better. Like
Speaker 3: when we're kids, we don't know. And then as your
Speaker 3: your bones get a little older, you're going, Oh, when
Speaker 3: you get out of bed, I make a noise. My
Speaker 3: dog doesn't even raise his head unless I make the noise.
Speaker 3: When I make the noise because oh we're up.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the sound of breakfast. Breakfast. As soon.
Speaker 5: As a comedian, we all have goals and we all
Speaker 5: have things that we're pushing for. Who would be your
Speaker 5: ideal team to be on a tour week?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's a great question, you know, I again,
Speaker 1: just because I was just watching I was reading her
Speaker 1: book and watching her special and I have been on
Speaker 1: tour with her and it was really fun. But she's
Speaker 1: just so different than me. Do you know, Maria Bamford.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I know the name. I don't know if
Speaker 5: from a serial.
Speaker 1: Very very different, yes, storytelling she does some characters just
Speaker 1: wildly different. I just think, like so unique. I have
Speaker 1: never had the chance to meet Wanda Sykes, but I
Speaker 1: have been obsessed with her for years and years. That
Speaker 1: would be incredible.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Wanda's a great punch up of joker too. She's
Speaker 5: a great writer. She's a better to me, she's a
Speaker 5: better writer than she is a comedian, honestly. But because
Speaker 5: she punched up one of my jokes on they ready
Speaker 5: and it was just instantaneous. And I love to be
Speaker 5: in a room with other comics and they watched us
Speaker 5: said and they actually listen to you without judging, and
Speaker 5: then they say, hey, can I tell you this how
Speaker 5: to punch that joker? Because a lot of comedians get,
Speaker 5: you know, get get upset about that. If you can
Speaker 5: hear it and you can make it funnier, give it
Speaker 5: to me, because I'm going to do it immediately. I
Speaker 5: love that.
Speaker 1: You know. What I've even found every once in a
Speaker 1: while flame is that a stand up will pay me
Speaker 1: a compliment. They'll be like, oh, I really like your
Speaker 1: joke where you say blah blah blah blah, and they'll
Speaker 1: say it in different wording than the way I said it,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, Oh, that's the better word. You
Speaker 1: just said in the way that I should be saying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And to me, that speaks volumes of to who
Speaker 5: you are, your character as a comedian, because if you
Speaker 5: shut down and you're not willing to learn because you
Speaker 5: think you've already arrived, you'll never get to the destination
Speaker 5: that you should get to because you already there in
Speaker 5: your mind. I'm already the greatest. So if I'm already
Speaker 5: the greatest, there's no room for improvement. There's always rooms.
Speaker 1: Oh I have so much yet to do, so much.
Speaker 1: The list is long.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: One.
Speaker 5: That's one of my regrets that I never had a
Speaker 5: chance to meet and work with John Rivers. I think
Speaker 5: that Joan Rivers and I would have gotten along famously
Speaker 5: and we would have been cut up like you wouldn't
Speaker 5: believe it. No, true, you couldn't have been on the
Speaker 5: thirty five to be in a room with us, because
Speaker 5: our language would have been quite colorful, like a custom
Speaker 5: great you.
Speaker 1: Know, I feel the same way, and I was close.
Speaker 1: I was pretty close to interviewing her a bunch of
Speaker 1: years ago now, and it didn't ever quite happen. And
Speaker 1: I'm always like, it was so so close and it
Speaker 1: didn't happen, and yeah, it just makes me very sad.
Speaker 1: And I will say that, you know, my parents much
Speaker 1: older as I am the youngster six, but they were
Speaker 1: just also older because my mom had me older. And
Speaker 1: when I told my mom, you know, when I was
Speaker 1: I don't know, I guess twenty two that I wanted
Speaker 1: to try to do stand up comedy. I hadn't really
Speaker 1: done it yet. She her only touch point was seeing
Speaker 1: Joan Rivers in Las Vegas, and she was like, like
Speaker 1: Joan Rivers in a bar, That's what she said to me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, that's the goal.
Speaker 5: So you said you had a baby, Go ahead, Bobby,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: No, no, I said she must have had she must
Speaker 4: have had the vapors. It was always going to go.
Speaker 5: I flame, I feel you had your baby. Your mom
Speaker 5: had you order too. Now you had your baby at
Speaker 5: forty five, forty two?
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom was forty two and I was forty two.
Speaker 1: Oh so yeah, oh so you stayed right there, I know,
Speaker 1: I mean everything, Yeah, who knew that's like sometimes it's
Speaker 1: like weird coincidence like that where you're like, who knew
Speaker 1: that would be the case?
Speaker 5: Or now now, now, now I'm going to really get it.
Speaker 5: I want to get into the met to something. No
Speaker 5: case because you you were diagnosed with breast cancer at forty, right,
Speaker 5: did that make because I remember you said that you
Speaker 5: didn't have any two of you weren't any cars. But
Speaker 5: did that make you really want to have a baby
Speaker 5: once you realize that.
Speaker 1: You Okay, So my initial response to this would be no.
Speaker 1: But I thought about this a lot, and I've really,
Speaker 1: you know, taken apart my emotions on it, and I
Speaker 1: have some hindsight, and I do think the answer to
Speaker 1: that flame is yes, because I think there was something
Speaker 1: in me and I've always felt this way. I've always
Speaker 1: My husband brings it up all the time he goes.
Speaker 1: I remember you always said to me, let's try to
Speaker 1: do every aspect of life that's positive and interesting that
Speaker 1: we can, like, let's just try to do it all.
Speaker 1: Anything that's of interest and propelling us to a fun, new,
Speaker 1: interesting experience. Let's try to do it. And I think
Speaker 1: at in my recovery, I thought I don't want to
Speaker 1: miss out on this experience in my life. If I
Speaker 1: can do it, great, If I can't do it, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll figure out if I want to
Speaker 1: go down any further avenues, but to begin with, we'll
Speaker 1: just try. And it was a little bit of a
Speaker 1: long road because honestly, I did get pregnant and I
Speaker 1: miscarried much like I don't know, I'm going to say
Speaker 1: something statistic, not based in facts, ninety nine percent of
Speaker 1: women even irregardless of your age and had I had
Speaker 1: a stream miscarriage in the sense that it was pretty rare,
Speaker 1: not dangerous, but it was called a partial molar pregnancy,
Speaker 1: so there were cells in me that could turn into cancer.
Speaker 1: So then I had to give blood to make sure
Speaker 1: that there wasn't a cancer, a new cancer, hooray, growing
Speaker 1: in me for every week for six months. And at
Speaker 1: that point I thought, I'm never doing any of this again,
Speaker 1: any of this. I never want to see a doctor.
Speaker 1: It was so dark and I thought I can't do it.
Speaker 1: And then, as a good storyteller, I thought, what would
Speaker 1: be the happiest ending to this story? If I could
Speaker 1: write this story? However, I wanted what would be the
Speaker 1: happiest ending to this story. And I thought the happiest
Speaker 1: ending to my story in this moment would be for
Speaker 1: me to bring a child into my life and have
Speaker 1: a loving family, and so I was just dead set
Speaker 1: on trying to make that happen.
Speaker 5: I love that, and I love that you have a healthy,
Speaker 5: happy Listen, you're not by yourself. I had a baby
Speaker 5: at forty one half so different. I didn't carry it.
Speaker 1: Lucky, but.
Speaker 5: Oh, that is like really pushing it on for a
Speaker 5: woman to have a baby at that age, isn't it.
Speaker 1: It's amazing, you know, I think the I had. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously they have these lovely terms geriatric pregnancy. I always
Speaker 1: enjoyed that. But you you know where every time they're
Speaker 1: like do you want to do any testing, they just
Speaker 1: pull out these binders. Everybody else gets a pamphlet, you
Speaker 1: get a binder. And I do remember though, seeing a
Speaker 1: genetic counselor to just go through whatever possibilities of testing,
Speaker 1: and she said something really compelling to me, which is
Speaker 1: that the data that they use, you know, because so
Speaker 1: much in our world has changed, that the data that
Speaker 1: they use is still basically twenty years old. Because they
Speaker 1: have to go through this data, and it was taken
Speaker 1: at a time where they didn't know a lot about
Speaker 1: the humans that they were getting data from. They didn't
Speaker 1: know anything about their lifestyle, anything about you know, were
Speaker 1: they smokers, were the driggers, did they whatever? So the
Speaker 1: data is not great. So she was like, we put
Speaker 1: all this stuff on people of a certain age or
Speaker 1: a certain background. She goes, it's based on not great data.
Speaker 1: She goes, you are providing genetic data that is going
Speaker 1: to help women in the future.
Speaker 5: Heads off to you because we're going through with it
Speaker 5: and not finding a dire place. Then you got a
Speaker 5: baby that you're so happy with. And I love what
Speaker 5: you said that you told your husband that you guys
Speaker 5: are going to do everything positive because the world is
Speaker 5: so hard right now on negative negativity, wins and sales
Speaker 5: like you wouldn't believe right now, if this negative almost
Speaker 5: the best thing. If it's somebody a kid eighth grater
Speaker 5: who got accepted to a medical college.
Speaker 3: Nobody, that is terrible to me. It's horrible to cancel
Speaker 3: culture that we're in. I know, can we It seems
Speaker 3: I am so glad that we weren't brought up in
Speaker 3: social media. The three of us were lucky that that
Speaker 3: didn't exist.
Speaker 1: Can we go back to sex cells? Can we just
Speaker 1: go back to that? Forget hatred? Like who knew I
Speaker 1: would say this.
Speaker 3: Go back to.
Speaker 5: I'm about to start my own fans. Stay, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: tell jokes, well naked, I'm gonna tell jokes who are naked?
Speaker 5: Any writ look naked? Any writ Let me see how
Speaker 5: much money I make.
Speaker 1: Oh that's brilliant. That is true. Stand up. Everything's standing
Speaker 1: up on this special everything you're standing up.
Speaker 5: That's what we're gonna call it a stand up show.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, keeping keeping it standing up for longer
Speaker 5: than twenty minutes might be the hard part, but I'm
Speaker 5: just saying, see all of that is, man, the hard
Speaker 5: part standing here, Oh my god. Okay, next time. Oh
Speaker 5: for you you, Oh my god. I think you're so
Speaker 5: delightful and I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance
Speaker 5: to get to know you know you, but I'm looking
Speaker 5: forward to working with you somewhere. And I'm on tour
Speaker 5: right now with day. If we come anywhere close to
Speaker 5: New York, I am going to reach out to you
Speaker 5: to make sure that you are Oh my.
Speaker 1: Goodness, please definitely are you? Are you coming to New York.
Speaker 1: Not yet. You don't have a date yet. I know
Speaker 1: you will.
Speaker 5: Where they keep adding, they keep adding, they keep adding
Speaker 5: dates to the tour. So if we come close to
Speaker 5: New York and I'm on, yeah, so I'll definitely make
Speaker 5: sure I invite you. But I did New York. I
Speaker 5: did Carolines. I was just they were day for when
Speaker 5: he take the four days towards birthday and we did
Speaker 5: the Seller. Now have you ever done this? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I do the Cellar. I'm part of that little world.
Speaker 5: So like that was my first time going to the
Speaker 5: cell I ripped it too. How did you liked it?
Speaker 5: The cell had never seen nothing like me. The seller
Speaker 5: had never seen anohing. I picked the Seller from the
Speaker 5: Cellar to the basement. Good god, I know.
Speaker 1: It's such a that's a fun stage. I mean they
Speaker 1: have four stages, but they there's a real good energy
Speaker 1: there and that is it's always high quality. I love
Speaker 1: performing there because it does make you better because you
Speaker 1: are going up with all the greats all the time,
Speaker 1: and that.
Speaker 5: Is a very pertinent place to be because if I'm
Speaker 5: working with and I don't want to call anybody a
Speaker 5: substandard comic, well just not a very known comic or
Speaker 5: kind of newish, you only have to be better than them.
Speaker 5: But when you work with monsters, you have to catapult
Speaker 5: yourself to be on the level of those monsters or
Speaker 5: you will be completely inadequate. So I love the challenge
Speaker 5: of that. I love the challenge of.
Speaker 1: That, and also it makes you know, I think sometimes
Speaker 1: we you know, especially if you're headlining along that's all
Speaker 1: your people in the crowd, is that you can kind
Speaker 1: of like walk down the garden path for the first
Speaker 1: couple of minutes while you're sort of like it's a
Speaker 1: little survey and an appetizer and an amuse boosh. But
Speaker 1: when you're on those showcase sets and you just followed
Speaker 1: someone that's slayed, you got to get up there and
Speaker 1: like throw it out there in the first thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: There is no time for a little garden party.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And that's a great challenging point. And I know
Speaker 5: a lot of comics, big name Day Chappelle, like my
Speaker 5: Da Chapelle, Cab Williams, so many, Kevin Hard so many,
Speaker 5: hell Chelsea Handler, they won't where they will put really
Speaker 5: really funny comments on their line. But there are some
Speaker 5: comedians out here that the openers cannot be that funny.
Speaker 5: They have to be only okay or mediocre to make
Speaker 5: them look like the super giants. To me, I think
Speaker 5: that's no challenge, there is no there's nothing fun. I
Speaker 5: need the meat. You be my meat, so I can
Speaker 5: be the pot for the meat. But they don't look
Speaker 5: that's all.
Speaker 1: Ego, that's all yeah. You know, like as a as
Speaker 1: an audience member, don't you want your audience member to go?
Speaker 1: That show was amazing from the second it started to
Speaker 1: the second it ended, rather than like twenty minutes in,
Speaker 1: it got better.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love when I say that,
Speaker 5: my dad, I fear. I think we are. I told
Speaker 5: you the same person. I'm just I'm just without.
Speaker 1: Hang.
Speaker 5: I love and I'll say that all the time. I'll
Speaker 5: say that all the time because if it's a fear
Speaker 5: As show and all the comments were good and fear
Speaker 5: was maybe one, it was one of fear is all nice.
Speaker 5: She was just okay, but they paid to come feel fear.
Speaker 5: It's still a Fearers show, right, A fear As show
Speaker 5: is great. Now the other comments that might have been
Speaker 5: better at night, but it's still fears show. A lot
Speaker 5: of people miss that yep.
Speaker 1: Appetizer, main course, dessert, it all should be the best,
Speaker 1: the best. That's what I want.
Speaker 3: It's the true, especially with as you had said earlier,
Speaker 3: the prices of tickets, especially for the big ones.
Speaker 4: The tickets are outrageously expensive.
Speaker 3: So I want I'm going to be the first person
Speaker 3: in my seat. I want to see all of the
Speaker 3: people that open, and I want all of them to
Speaker 3: be good. Yeah, I want the most bang from that. Absolutely,
Speaker 3: I agree with the.
Speaker 5: Both of you. So Fear, I want to ask you
Speaker 5: two other questions. I want to know about Canada's healthcare
Speaker 5: system as opposed to America's hair because you were diagnosed
Speaker 5: to you right.
Speaker 1: Yeah in America. Yep, that's right. So yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you know I oh, well, yeah, it's hard, I will say.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 1: I remember the moment I went to see a doctor
Speaker 1: just for nothing, a cold, when I first moved to America,
Speaker 1: and I walked in and I checked in with for
Speaker 1: my appointment, and then they handed me a clipboard and
Speaker 1: the woman asked me about payment, and I think I
Speaker 1: literally said to her, that is so rude that you
Speaker 1: were asking me about money before I've even seen a
Speaker 1: doctor to talk about my care, not understanding that's the
Speaker 1: way it works, like the idea of someone. It just
Speaker 1: was so foreign and bizarre to me and cold. I
Speaker 1: was just like, what are you talking about? And that's
Speaker 1: the whole America treats it like you're a customer, not
Speaker 1: a patient.
Speaker 5: Right because you are a kettle call.
Speaker 1: You are a customer. And so you know, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things about the Canadian healthcare system that are
Speaker 1: problematic and broken, just like any healthcare system. But I
Speaker 1: will say this. I you know, this is going to
Speaker 1: be a very meaty two line sentence or too long paragraph,
Speaker 1: but I survived a very bad car accident when I
Speaker 1: was a child and almost died, and that for most
Speaker 1: American families would have bankrupted their family for the rest
Speaker 1: of their life. And it did not cost my family
Speaker 1: a dollar.
Speaker 5: Wow, America, are you listening?
Speaker 4: So like it was not Bernie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was not an issue of like how are
Speaker 1: we going to pay to keep our daughter alive? It
Speaker 1: was just never an issue. And I'm here, guess what
Speaker 1: made it okay? It's not like they were putting me
Speaker 1: together with.
Speaker 5: Let me tell you something in this, in this in
Speaker 5: this hour that we have done. You had a baby
Speaker 5: at an early age. This kid stages girl. That's gonna
Speaker 5: be the name of your one hour special to everything
Speaker 5: that is. That is testimony alone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So why should I be wried about if you
Speaker 1: don't like my joke?
Speaker 5: The case you live in America, you have no other choice. Good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, healthcare is super complicated. It's yeah.
Speaker 3: It's so you've got the single payer or the the
Speaker 3: government system up there and we just can't get it done.
Speaker 3: I mean Obamacare was that was huge. The fact that
Speaker 3: we even slid that of here. Yes, and it's still
Speaker 3: payment for it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now I will just be totally transparent that. What the
Speaker 1: Canadians complain about is that there can be long waits
Speaker 1: for certain tests because you are basically ranked on the
Speaker 1: severity of your case and that these and that the testing.
Speaker 1: So you you know, if you feel you can now
Speaker 1: just pay for it. If you want it faster, you
Speaker 1: can pay for it. You can decide to make that choice,
Speaker 1: or you can be a squeaky wheel and get yourself
Speaker 1: pushed forward. I always say that it's like this because
Speaker 1: America is based on an insurance model and capitalism. America
Speaker 1: needs the American healthcare system needs you to be sick
Speaker 1: then in the health system needs you to be healthy,
Speaker 1: and that's how things are run. Like I can go.
Speaker 5: Into a doctor in America's.
Speaker 1: And be like, I have a scratch in my elbow
Speaker 1: and they'll be like, do you want an MRI?
Speaker 3: Right, Well, that's because we demand it too as Americans,
Speaker 3: you know, Like that's theff. If you tell my mother
Speaker 3: she had to do physical therapy for two weeks for
Speaker 3: the pain in her back before she gets the MRI,
Speaker 3: she'd lose their bananas.
Speaker 4: No I insurance and I want you know.
Speaker 3: So it's it's a super complicated, very complicated stated system,
Speaker 3: especially with our pharmaceuticals and the insurance companies. Those are
Speaker 3: the people really make it op. Oh yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 3: the system is flawed. You know, eighteen percent of our
Speaker 3: gdp is is healthcare.
Speaker 4: It's a flawed system.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I don't work health care. That's what she's That's
Speaker 5: why fascinating.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I could talk about this for hours,
Speaker 1: and I've even I talked I I know some I
Speaker 1: know some excellent people that work in the American health
Speaker 1: system as doctors and surge, and I have at times
Speaker 1: asked them different questions and they have told me that
Speaker 1: on certain boards of hospitals. They've been asked why they're
Speaker 1: not you know, hey, we gotta we really have to
Speaker 1: pay for these new crazy you know equipment we have.
Speaker 1: Why aren't you telling people to get more of this?
Speaker 1: Why aren't you know mistectomies costs a lot more money
Speaker 1: than lumpectomies. You should be recommending mistectomies more often.
Speaker 3: That sounds like a not for profit facilities versus not
Speaker 3: right profit facility.
Speaker 1: Correct.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a business. It's a bit.
Speaker 3: I mean, it really has become a business. So as
Speaker 3: you started the show by saying, you really had to
Speaker 3: advocate for yourself, so you do as a consumer. You
Speaker 3: need to go in, ask what you want and keep
Speaker 3: pushing until you get what you need, especially because your
Speaker 3: bodies tell.
Speaker 4: Us stuff we know first.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's a super complicated system here.
Speaker 1: Very complicated. I mean everywhere I think you have to
Speaker 1: always advocate.
Speaker 5: For you and I like and I like my boods exactly
Speaker 5: what am I going to do? Second question is what
Speaker 5: is your what is your goal and desire for you
Speaker 5: as a comedian? What do you what do you want
Speaker 5: to do that's hues that will make you feel like
Speaker 5: I mad, it's that one gig that you'll be liked.
Speaker 5: I am that comeding.
Speaker 1: Well, I will say upcoming. So I'm going to say
Speaker 1: two things. One is upcoming my my pal and comic
Speaker 1: Anthony Jesselnick. You may know that guy. Uh, he is
Speaker 1: out touring and he asked me to come join him
Speaker 1: on his show in a couple of weeks at Carnegie Hall.
Speaker 1: So I guess I will check mark that coming up.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. But you know, with the storytelling, practice, practice,
Speaker 1: practice practice, with the storytelling stuff that I love doing
Speaker 1: and the stand up I have, I have a whole
Speaker 1: show that I've been working on that's more of a
Speaker 1: solo show, one person show kind of feeling about you know,
Speaker 1: we're just talking about I always survived so many things. I
Speaker 1: have scars all over my body and just how they
Speaker 1: have shaped my identity and how I've accepted them and
Speaker 1: not accepted them, and the stories behind them. Some our poignant,
Speaker 1: some are very funny, especially when I was sleeping around
Speaker 1: and deciding if I should explain some of the scars
Speaker 1: to people or if they cared, uh, and I you know,
Speaker 1: I want to and just you know, how much of
Speaker 1: your flesh is your identity, and I would I want
Speaker 1: to I want that on Broadway, my friends, I want
Speaker 1: it on Broadway.
Speaker 5: I was going to ask you, did you want that
Speaker 5: Broadway or do you want that Netflix? I was just
Speaker 5: about to ask you that.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, claim if I have to go Netflix, I will, Okay,
Speaker 1: if I.
Speaker 5: Have to, Well, let me tell you something. If you
Speaker 5: gotta go Netflix, Netflix pay, it's instant gratification. Let me
Speaker 5: let you know that.
Speaker 1: That's a good point.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's instant gratification with Netflix. With Broadway, you still
Speaker 5: get paid, but it's you know, every night definitely is
Speaker 5: a one hit or quiver.
Speaker 1: You know what. I'm revising my goal.
Speaker 5: I think I think it's going to be great. I
Speaker 5: think it's gonna be great. No, you can do both now.
Speaker 5: But if you get the Netflix first, you reached one
Speaker 5: hundred and ninety countries and then those people were flying
Speaker 5: to see you on braw.
Speaker 1: Can you be my business man, Jerry like the creative consultant.
Speaker 5: Please as long as you suld be mad because I
Speaker 5: seemed to be bad in the thousands. So this was
Speaker 5: such a delightful conversation. Thank you so so much for
Speaker 5: doing this with us. I am so pleased with the
Speaker 5: conversation and it was so informative and lights it was.
Speaker 5: But but somebody is going to walk away from this
Speaker 5: that's going to learn something more about themselves because of you,
Speaker 5: and I appreciate that. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Flame, Thank you Bobby. That's so nice. It
Speaker 1: was an honor. I was thrilled. Thank you.
Speaker 5: And I will definitely get over to your podcast. Now
Speaker 5: where can we find you? Wes naming your podcast? Give
Speaker 5: us all of the yes.
Speaker 1: So my podcast on I heard is called parenting is
Speaker 1: a joke. Obviously you can get it where you ever.
Speaker 1: You get podcasts where I talk to different people who
Speaker 1: are stand ups and working in entertainment about how they
Speaker 1: do creative work and raise children. So we will be
Speaker 1: talking about getting you on that immediately. Flame. Also, you
Speaker 1: can follow me everywhere at O Fira E and or
Speaker 1: on Venmo at Ophira if you feel like I don't
Speaker 1: know following me in Venmo.
Speaker 5: Listen, when is that Currentagie holiday coming.
Speaker 1: That is on November tenth?
Speaker 4: Oh it's soon.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And they can get their tickets where.
Speaker 1: It turns out Carnegie Hall. This is how the ticketing
Speaker 1: practice works. But they they posted their tickets for sale
Speaker 1: two weeks in advance. So I guess early November, right
Speaker 1: at the end Halloween.
Speaker 5: Halloween hop online, that's Halloween. I was born on Halloween. No,
Speaker 5: Marcus Parker, who is me, was born in July. I
Speaker 5: supposed to do. I was supposed to be flavoring Road
Speaker 5: one time for Halloween. I ain't gonna tell y'all what year,
Speaker 5: but here we are, almost forty years later. Good God, Titti, Jesus,
Speaker 5: Oh my God, I feel you in such a delight.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much. I love when we have light,
Speaker 5: pleasant conversations that are informative and stay in the game.
Speaker 5: I want to see your name in the big lights.
Speaker 5: I'm coming to your one woman show on Broadway because
Speaker 5: guess what, I'm a survivor too. I survive. Look, I
Speaker 5: survived Chicago.
Speaker 1: That was the Yeah, yeah I will. I look forward
Speaker 1: to seeing you on stage wherever I can. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: see each other at the Cellar one.
Speaker 5: Of these days, Yes, and whenever all come close to
Speaker 5: New York City. If I'm a dable with Timney on
Speaker 5: my own, I'm gonna reach out to you at the show,
Speaker 5: and if I can get you on the show, guess
Speaker 5: what go out there and give us fifteen let's do it.
Speaker 5: I love it. I love the parents' story because there's
Speaker 5: so many parents that are having a hard time with
Speaker 5: their children. So I love it.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's tell me and I'll take the training.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're close.
Speaker 5: We don't fly you on private jet, but god, oh,
Speaker 5: fire Eisenberg. Thank you so much. Lady. Gentlemen, please give
Speaker 5: around the class for our very wonderful professional guests. Sofire
Speaker 5: Eisenbergh and follow her on her podcast right Heart or
Speaker 5: anything that she's doing. Because this lady, this lady gonna
Speaker 5: teach you something. See, that's what comedy is a lot
Speaker 5: of y'all miss it. Not only is comedy funny stories,
Speaker 5: but comedy is meant to teach you something about you
Speaker 5: that you're afraid to say publicly. But then you you're
Speaker 5: thinking it. So you learned something about yourself. That is
Speaker 5: great ship right there, I see it. I see the
Speaker 5: bad word. I always say the bad words. That's all right.
Speaker 4: We love you for I.
Speaker 5: Know right, Thank you. We appreciate you. Ladies. You're hearing
Speaker 5: laugh and learn what is our message? Bobby. We're not
Speaker 5: trying to get you to in your mind. We are
Speaker 5: only trying to get you to use your mind, because
Speaker 5: why Bobby.
Speaker 4: Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Speaker 5: And some of y'all are wasting y'all minds and my
Speaker 5: time and I'm not here for We appreciate you. Follow
Speaker 5: Bobby Clifford at Bobby Clifford on Instagram and where at
Speaker 5: Clifford Bobby on Instagram, at Bobby Clifford on Facebook. Follow
Speaker 5: me on the all social media platforms at flame my row,
Speaker 5: and follow my girl, miss Ophil Eisenberg on all her
Speaker 5: social media platforms. Hear me and hear me. Well, ladies
Speaker 5: and gentlemen, we are in a crisis. The world is
Speaker 5: in a crisis with wars and sad stories and rules.
Speaker 5: Find some joy in your life that will keep you
Speaker 5: sane through all of this crazy. You have to find
Speaker 5: whatever makes you happy. I don't know what it could be.
Speaker 5: Everybody has different goals, different possibilities of making what makes
Speaker 5: them happy.
Speaker 1: I'm me.
Speaker 5: I'm happy with a black and white and a cheese burger.
Speaker 5: I'm telling you, whatever makes you happy in your life,
Speaker 5: you have to find that joy or you will go
Speaker 5: crazy in a crazy world. Yeah, it's ten minutes out
Speaker 5: to day to find that joy, find that joy for
Speaker 5: them ten minutes, because the rest of the day might
Speaker 5: be screwed up. But if I found my joy for
Speaker 5: ten minutes, guess what I got ten minutes of joy
Speaker 5: that day. Let me see if I get fifteen tomorrow.
Speaker 5: Because the gold is to get to the next day,
Speaker 5: to get happier and happier and happier. The news and
Speaker 5: the world will make you sad. I ain't gonna say
Speaker 5: a bitch. I'm the happiest fag you ever seen in
Speaker 5: your life. I said, I said, I feel it.
Speaker 6: Don't miss an episode of Laugh and Learn. Listen and
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Speaker 6: app or wherever you get your podcasts. Laugh and Learn
Speaker 6: Podcast is a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network
Speaker 6: and iHeartRadio. Our ejective producer is Tiffany Hattish. Our theme
Speaker 6: music is by the one and only Chrissy Payne. Thank you, guys,
Speaker 6: this is slamming row. Don't forget to laugh. Listen and
Speaker 6: learn