Speaker 1: Tell me I can't see Okay, what's up, y'all? Welcome
Speaker 1: to Hand Me my Purse the Podcast. I am me
Speaker 1: Me Walker, and I will be your forever host, each
Speaker 1: and every single time you tune into this podcast. So
Speaker 1: go ahead and get comfortable. Get yourself a glass of
Speaker 1: your favorite beverage, whether that's alkaline water, red kool Aid,
Speaker 1: a hot cup of tea with honey, a glass of Cabernet,
Speaker 1: Sauvignon or Hennessy, and light yourself a candle, some incense
Speaker 1: or burn some sage and just get ready to chill
Speaker 1: out and have a good time. What's up, friends and ken,
Speaker 1: It is none other than Mimi Resident Auntie Supreme here
Speaker 1: at Hammy My Purse the Podcast, and today I am
Speaker 1: sipping on a black totty. No, not a hot totty.
Speaker 1: It is a black totty. And this is brought to
Speaker 1: you by my favorite mixtress of adult beverages, the Guru
Speaker 1: herself of Fancy who creations the one and only Bedroom Bartender.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you're wondering what is a black totty? Well, Gina,
Speaker 1: creator of the Bedroom Bartender, created this drink for me
Speaker 1: as a way to close out black history mind. She
Speaker 1: told me she was watching the new Billy Holiday film
Speaker 1: on Hulu, which is entitled The United States Versus Billy Holliday.
Speaker 1: The title alone has me intrigued, but she says she
Speaker 1: was watching that and it made her think about the
Speaker 1: things that singers have to do to prepare their voice
Speaker 1: for performance, and about Billy Holliday's pain and trauma, and
Speaker 1: that it made her think about celebrating the parts of
Speaker 1: our blackness that we sometimes don't like to embrace out
Speaker 1: loud and in public. And she said that Auntie Billy
Speaker 1: Holiday was definitely a dark liquor kind of woman, or
Speaker 1: that's what she gives off as darker liquors can sometimes
Speaker 1: be a healing bomb for vocals. So a black totty
Speaker 1: consists of black tea, ginger, honey, dark liquor like a bourbon,
Speaker 1: a conac or whiskey, and lemon. And so I will
Speaker 1: post a photo of the ingredients that Gina gave me
Speaker 1: to make this drink very very nice. Listen, a curated drink.
Speaker 1: It is a good situation. And I can't even lie
Speaker 1: to y'all. I have said before on this show that
Speaker 1: hot toddies are my jam this here. Black Totty is
Speaker 1: my new jam is so good, and sometimes I make
Speaker 1: hot Toddies and they are really strong and not as
Speaker 1: pleasant to drink. This is amazing. It is of course,
Speaker 1: it's hot, rich, but not too heavy. The ti use
Speaker 1: was a black chi Ta and this is the first
Speaker 1: time I've ever used one of those honey spoon things.
Speaker 1: I don't really know what they're called, because I'm not
Speaker 1: that fancy. I don't use those. But either way, the
Speaker 1: drink is amazing. It's hot. It is like opening up
Speaker 1: my chest, you know. It ain't nothing like a little
Speaker 1: brown liquor to open your chest up. The lemon makes
Speaker 1: it refreshing, so it's not, you know, like heavy, but
Speaker 1: it's it's rich and not rich as in heavy, but
Speaker 1: it's rich as it's rich in flavor. So make sure
Speaker 1: you check the show notes out so that you can
Speaker 1: go to the Bedroom Bartender's website and follow her on
Speaker 1: Instagram and see what she has cooking up over there.
Speaker 1: Because here at hand me my purse, we support black
Speaker 1: business and you should too. She has amazing hand poured
Speaker 1: soy candles. The scents are really unique, so it's not
Speaker 1: like all of the smells that you would smell at
Speaker 1: you know, TJ Max or even like your high end
Speaker 1: candles like Joe Malone. It's not going to be like that.
Speaker 1: Although Joe Malone candles are the bomb, but they are
Speaker 1: not created or fashioned after high end adult beverages. How
Speaker 1: about that they also are not created by a black woman.
Speaker 1: So then there is that she has self care kids
Speaker 1: that are awesome. Another thing I like about her candles
Speaker 1: is that they don't smell fake and like waxy, you know,
Speaker 1: because that can be an issue. But anyway, she has
Speaker 1: self care kids that include bath salts, candles, and special
Speaker 1: additions to help you create the adult beverage that is
Speaker 1: associated with the kid, like she has one for Hot Coco.
Speaker 1: You can listen to the episode episode number eighteen I believe,
Speaker 1: or it might be nineteen. No, it's the bonus episode
Speaker 1: for the holiday where she goes more into what she
Speaker 1: has on the website. But it's like the best of
Speaker 1: all the world, supreme self care. It's like me time
Speaker 1: on a thousand and She has also thrown a self
Speaker 1: care code because here at Him and My Purse, we
Speaker 1: don't call them promo codes, we call them self care codes.
Speaker 1: She threw them one for you guys, and this will
Speaker 1: only apply until the next episode comes out. So from
Speaker 1: March first today until the fifteenth of March, you can
Speaker 1: use the code Billy and that's b I L l
Speaker 1: I E and get free shipping on any order over
Speaker 1: fifty dollars. Go to the show notes check her out.
Speaker 1: Now let's get into the sham and get this party started. So,
Speaker 1: friends in Kim. For today's jam, I decided to go
Speaker 1: to one of our black geniuses, our creative geniuses. I
Speaker 1: went to Prince and I chose a song that is
Speaker 1: definitely one of his more obscure songs for people who
Speaker 1: are not like heavy Prince fans. I decided to go
Speaker 1: with a song that if you're not a heavy Prince
Speaker 1: Fee you probably wouldn't know unless you have a kid
Speaker 1: who watches Sesame Street and you happen to see him
Speaker 1: performing it on Sesame Street. That song is called Starfish
Speaker 1: and Coffee. It's an amazing song. And I tried my
Speaker 1: best guys to keep up the spirit of finding and
Speaker 1: sharing with you guys really good covers. But I hit
Speaker 1: a wall. Okay, you know that I tried to go
Speaker 1: to covers by black people first, and if I can't
Speaker 1: find one with a black person. I go to people
Speaker 1: of color, and usually I'm able to find something within
Speaker 1: those parameters. But this time, you guys let me down,
Speaker 1: like big time, and I found a couple of them.
Speaker 1: But then I saw this assist, this black lady. She's
Speaker 1: a teacher and she was playing an acoustic guitar and
Speaker 1: teaching the song. Well she had already taught it to them.
Speaker 1: But there was a group of like maybe between fifteen
Speaker 1: and twenty five little kids, they had to be under six,
Speaker 1: six and under, singing Starfish and Coffee. They were screaming
Speaker 1: to the top of their lungs. They were clapping off beat.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. And the only reason that it was
Speaker 1: amazing was because the kids were really cute. And to
Speaker 1: see little kids sing a print song and clap offbeat.
Speaker 1: I love when people dance and clap offbeat. I know
Speaker 1: it's evil, it's not evil. That's not evil. If you
Speaker 1: want to talk about evil, well, if you want to
Speaker 1: talk about evil, please stay tuned for the episodes that
Speaker 1: are released on March the fifteenth, because we're talking about
Speaker 1: evil things. But it is petty. But when I tell
Speaker 1: you that, it brings me a different kind of joy
Speaker 1: when I see people that can't dance or that can't
Speaker 1: catch the beat, because it's like I don't understand it,
Speaker 1: so it makes me giggle and laugh. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but anyway, the kids are really cute. They're all kinds kids,
Speaker 1: White kids, Black kids, Latino kids, Asian kids. They're singing
Speaker 1: their little hearts out. The sister she has this acoustic guitar.
Speaker 1: She's playing the song. They're singing, they're screaming. It's a
Speaker 1: good time. So we're about to get into Starfishing Coffee
Speaker 1: performed by a cover of Starfishing Coffee performed by the
Speaker 1: Community the Community Roots Charter School. You know it's gonna
Speaker 1: be good, So sit back, get into the jam, listen
Speaker 1: to it. But make sure that you go and you
Speaker 1: listen to the real version, which I also linked in
Speaker 1: the show notes. Make sure you listen to the real
Speaker 1: version and just enjoy. Enjoy the kids. Man. Now let's
Speaker 1: get into the show. Yea. So, friends and Ken today,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, hello again. Even though I just said
Speaker 1: hello about five minutes ago, I wanted to say it
Speaker 1: again to you. Today. We are just gonna have a
Speaker 1: little dialogue, a little conversation about a couple of little
Speaker 1: things that I've been thinking about. First, let me say that,
Speaker 1: can y'all believe that it has been a whole damn
Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five days, an entire year since
Speaker 1: I released the very first episode of this show, which
Speaker 1: was a trailer, a whole year. March first, twenty I
Speaker 1: released the trailer, just giving y'all a little glimpse into
Speaker 1: what I thought I was planning to share with you
Speaker 1: in on April first, which is the official day that
Speaker 1: I launched this podcast. That's like the observed holiday, because
Speaker 1: that's the day that I said, I'm here, I'm here,
Speaker 1: We're here, us is here. We as together. So this show,
Speaker 1: this podcast was definitely berthed or I gave birth to
Speaker 1: it at the top of a global pandemi as I'm
Speaker 1: calling it now, because I changed the name all the time.
Speaker 1: So I started this podcast at the top of the pandemi.
Speaker 1: And although that is when she was born, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let it be as she. She's an auntie, respect her pronouns.
Speaker 1: But it's still thriving, it's still going, and I don't
Speaker 1: plan on going anywhere anytime soon. And you know, it
Speaker 1: still amazes me that I have listeners on every single
Speaker 1: continent with the exception of Antarctica, as I have said before,
Speaker 1: that I know of because they could be listening, it's
Speaker 1: just that they're not tracking for it. They're not checking
Speaker 1: for Antarctica, okay, and for me, like that's some dope shit.
Speaker 1: It actually still blows my mind that people actually still
Speaker 1: listen to me regularly. And I think that, like I
Speaker 1: have the words, but I can't really express to you
Speaker 1: in full like how that makes me feel. I have
Speaker 1: been a talker since I realized that I could speak words,
Speaker 1: and even before I spoke words, I probably made a
Speaker 1: lot of sounds. And I think about all those times
Speaker 1: that people have told me in my life that I
Speaker 1: talk too much, which happens still to this day, and
Speaker 1: I think about the times where people have shushed me.
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: keep on talking, just an fy because talking works for me.
Speaker 1: It's always worked for me, and I'm not gonna stop talking.
Speaker 1: So do with that with you will, moving forward, as
Speaker 1: I did in November for the close of the first
Speaker 1: season of Handing My Purse. On April the first for
Speaker 1: the Handing My purse, first birthday or anniversary. I haven't
Speaker 1: really decided what I'm going to call it yet. Either way,
Speaker 1: there's going to be a celebration, a virtual celebration. Since
Speaker 1: we are still not really able to convene in person,
Speaker 1: there will be a celebration. Plus I don't really play
Speaker 1: around with the pandemic like that, so so yeah, we
Speaker 1: will just be playing virtually until we make some serious
Speaker 1: progress out here in these COVID streets, because folks are
Speaker 1: still out here while in for respect and playing games
Speaker 1: and I'm good, no grassis, I don't want to play
Speaker 1: around with it because no, thank you. Please make sure
Speaker 1: to pay attention, pay close attention to my Instagram for
Speaker 1: how to be a part of this event. I'm really
Speaker 1: excited that it's going to be a celebration. I really
Speaker 1: haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to put it
Speaker 1: all together, but I guess I got about twenty one
Speaker 1: days to figure it out. Actually, I have about fifteen
Speaker 1: days to figure it out to be really honest, based
Speaker 1: on what I'm thinking that I'm going to do. But
Speaker 1: it will be virtual. I'm really excited. I can't wait
Speaker 1: for outside to open back up so that we can
Speaker 1: gather and celebrate in person. I want to meet so
Speaker 1: many of you, unless you are a psychopath, because if so,
Speaker 1: I don't want to meet you and we can just talk,
Speaker 1: you know, we can just keep it real instagrammy, how
Speaker 1: about that? But celebrating is a must. I celebrate all
Speaker 1: of the winds. I want to normalize celebrating all of
Speaker 1: the winds, no matter how small or how big. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite words is grandiose. So if I say
Speaker 1: it a lot, now you understand why how small, how grandiose.
Speaker 1: It's important to celebrate ourselves and to celebrate one another.
Speaker 1: And a lot of times people think it's silly to
Speaker 1: celebrate these moments like okay, you made it to a
Speaker 1: year or so what. But that kind of tells me
Speaker 1: a lot about that person as a human and how
Speaker 1: they process like emotional information, and it tells me about
Speaker 1: their emotional intelligence. And another thing is that I've seen
Speaker 1: online people particularly black particularly is a hard word to
Speaker 1: say if you say it fast, particularly of course, and
Speaker 1: then I said right that time, right, anyway, I've seen
Speaker 1: a lot of people online, particularly black women. While I
Speaker 1: said it perfect that time too. Sorry anyway, I digress
Speaker 1: black women online talking a lot about normalizing luxury for
Speaker 1: black women, which I fully goddamn support. We shouldn't even
Speaker 1: have to normalize it because it should just be a
Speaker 1: part of our damn existence and without anybody questioning it
Speaker 1: or having anything to say about it. However, I kind
Speaker 1: of feel more importantly that it is important for us
Speaker 1: to normalize or focus on the concept of normalizing the
Speaker 1: celebration of wh all of our wins, whatever they look like.
Speaker 1: And it's funny, you know, I had this show already
Speaker 1: and outlined, but just today I talked to my little brother,
Speaker 1: who definitely believes he is a fashion guru, and quite frankly,
Speaker 1: the kid wears some pretty amazing outfits. He has pretty
Speaker 1: good style, he's pretty dope. But shout out to my
Speaker 1: little brother Isaiah. I love that kid. Anyway, he posted
Speaker 1: on Instagram some in his stories, very nonchalantly that some
Speaker 1: Instagram fashion accounts or some style accounts on Instagram have
Speaker 1: featured him, like four of them, not like one, like
Speaker 1: four different ones, and the posts were like a month
Speaker 1: and some change old. So I sent him a DM
Speaker 1: like what's up with this? And sent all these celebration emojis,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, yes, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you share these before or tell me about him,
Speaker 1: to which he said that it wasn't really a big deal.
Speaker 1: And I told him, Oh, you're a damn lie. This
Speaker 1: is a big deal. This is great, This is you know, important,
Speaker 1: because this is important to you. You put a lot
Speaker 1: of effort into you know, how you dress, in your style,
Speaker 1: and for you to be acknowledged for it, like that's
Speaker 1: a thing. And in twenty twenty one, were celebrating all
Speaker 1: the winds Homie, like all of them. This is major
Speaker 1: and I'm proud of you and you are the man.
Speaker 1: My other brother, my middle brother, he was in a
Speaker 1: music video last year with Snoop Dog, So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm really excited for you, Like you know, me and
Speaker 1: my cousins we were like, all right, we see you
Speaker 1: out here winning in videos with Snoop Dog, like hobnobbing
Speaker 1: with snobs, okay, And I did the whole proud big
Speaker 1: sister thing again with him. Well out again. This was
Speaker 1: before this, because this just happened, but it's a major thing.
Speaker 1: We celebrate wins all day and day. That's what we're doing.
Speaker 1: And in a world where our lives mean so little
Speaker 1: to so many people, and even people who look like us.
Speaker 1: So let's just sit in that for him in at first.
Speaker 1: And no, I'm not only speaking about black on black crime.
Speaker 1: People always going to pull that out, you know, and
Speaker 1: not that it's not important or that it's not something
Speaker 1: that needs to be addressed. But that's not the only
Speaker 1: way that we tear each other down right in this life.
Speaker 1: Think about all the ways that it manifests itself in
Speaker 1: our daily lives, in our culture. Anyway. We need to
Speaker 1: celebrate ourselves, and we need to celebrate one another. We
Speaker 1: need to love up on each other. We need to
Speaker 1: cheer for each other. We need to be each other's
Speaker 1: greatest hype women and hype men and hype people. And
Speaker 1: we need to do this often for each other. We
Speaker 1: need to do it regularly. It needs to be something
Speaker 1: that is a part of our everyday movement because the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is that if we don't do
Speaker 1: it for one another, who will Please tell me that?
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like not celebrating our own winds
Speaker 1: individually and collectively is an indirect act of self loathing.
Speaker 1: So yes, normalize luxury. Absolutely, yes normalize celebrating one another
Speaker 1: and ourselves. But more importantly, how about we normalize black joy? Oop?
Speaker 1: Because it is not something that is I think it's
Speaker 1: not something that I feel is socially acceptable for black
Speaker 1: people to just be happy for no reason, Like there
Speaker 1: always has to be something up with it. It always
Speaker 1: has to be like a catch, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So why don't we start with normalizing black joy? Boom?
Speaker 1: There we go, woomp, there it is. I thought you knew.
Speaker 1: That's the pie. That's the whole pie. We can slice
Speaker 1: this pie up, however, we choose for T shirts, for
Speaker 1: likes on Instagram, for all of the things. We can
Speaker 1: slice it up and present it in different ways with
Speaker 1: the keys to start normalizing joy for black folks because
Speaker 1: we deserve to be happy. God damn, it's the very
Speaker 1: least that we could do is just be happy. Okay,
Speaker 1: think about it. Have you ever been in a joyous
Speaker 1: mood or you know, been in a really good mood? Well,
Speaker 1: let's just start with that shit start over. Have you
Speaker 1: ever been in a joyous mood? Because some of y'all
Speaker 1: I don't know, But have you ever been in a
Speaker 1: really joyful mood? Or your energy has really been up
Speaker 1: in light and somebody says to you, what are you
Speaker 1: so happy for? Or why are you in such a
Speaker 1: good mood? Or something to that effect that concept and
Speaker 1: just saying that to someone is crazy to me. And
Speaker 1: I know that I've done it in the past, and
Speaker 1: it's still insane. I ain't exempt. But the truth is,
Speaker 1: and I say this all the time, what is the
Speaker 1: alternative to me being in a good mood? I remember
Speaker 1: some years ago, it's probably like ten or fifteen years ago,
Speaker 1: my cousin Julia, who is a social worker, told me
Speaker 1: a story once about how someone at her job said
Speaker 1: something like that to her, and her response was just that,
Speaker 1: what is the alternative? And when I tell you that
Speaker 1: thing sad with me and I still carry it around
Speaker 1: with me to this day because the truth of the
Speaker 1: matter is, like, let's just keep it real. What is
Speaker 1: the damn alternative? Like, what are my other options? Being
Speaker 1: gloomy and sad and riddled with melancholy and sullen and
Speaker 1: all of the other synonyms that mean sad and gloomy
Speaker 1: and down not actively seeking out moments of joy and bliss,
Speaker 1: just down down bad, as they're saying. I think the
Speaker 1: kids say that now he was down bad I was
Speaker 1: down bad. I can't remember, you know, I've been I've
Speaker 1: been away from kids for a long time. It's time
Speaker 1: for me to get back around some kids because I
Speaker 1: need to learn some new slang. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: losing my cool auntie mojo. I need to get it back.
Speaker 1: But like, who wants to be the human manifestation of Yore?
Speaker 1: Raise your hand? I know I can't see it, but
Speaker 1: raise your hand anyway. Raise your hand if you know
Speaker 1: somebody who is like the human embodiment of Yore from
Speaker 1: what's the little name Winnie the Pooh. I'm getting old.
Speaker 1: Raise your hand if you know a human or because
Speaker 1: I know a couple of them and being around them
Speaker 1: sometimes can literally be draining on my spirit, because really
Speaker 1: that's exactly what some of you folks are out there
Speaker 1: in these streets, just out here walking around, just being
Speaker 1: sad and spread and gloom and doom everywhere you go.
Speaker 1: But you know, like, we got to do better than that.
Speaker 1: We owe it to ourselves. We owe it to ourselves
Speaker 1: first and foremost for ourselves. We gotta do better for
Speaker 1: our families. We have to do better for our friends,
Speaker 1: for our communities, for our children, and for the future
Speaker 1: generational melancholy and generational sadness better known as generational trauma.
Speaker 1: And this is just one of the ways that it
Speaker 1: manifests like it ain't what's up? We need to be
Speaker 1: out here trying to be all different types of happy,
Speaker 1: finding all different types of joy. Stop it, friends like
Speaker 1: we deserve better. So to our ancestors, they didn't die
Speaker 1: for us to be out here moping around and stuff
Speaker 1: and the words a little duvall smile, bitch, smile. So
Speaker 1: I'm sure that some of you are wondering how doth
Speaker 1: one turn this state of melancholy around? Mimi. I can
Speaker 1: just hear y'all ask, and I can feel into my spirit.
Speaker 1: And if you ain't asking, you should because you might
Speaker 1: be a human manifestation of Yore. And if you are,
Speaker 1: and nobody has told you, you need to get new friends.
Speaker 1: So let me share what I've done, or how I
Speaker 1: think it can be achieved. More than likely what I've done.
Speaker 1: Not that I used to be a human manifestation of Yore,
Speaker 1: but we all have down days, right. The most important
Speaker 1: thing is to always remember to be intentional. What do
Speaker 1: you mean by being intentional? Mimi? Once again I hear
Speaker 1: y'all asking me a question that is very simple. Being
Speaker 1: intentional is choosing how you move. It's about being strategic.
Speaker 1: If the goal is to find peace of mind and
Speaker 1: find joy and be happy, you create, excuse me, a
Speaker 1: strategy to get there. What does joy look like for you? Right?
Speaker 1: What does joy mean in your life? What does peace
Speaker 1: of mind like for you? How does it show up
Speaker 1: in your life? In your mind? Visualize this? What do
Speaker 1: you do when you are happy? And if you don't know,
Speaker 1: create it? Make it up. If your response is, well, shit,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever been happy, I don't
Speaker 1: know how to be happy. Make it up. Tap into
Speaker 1: that like juvenile or that you know, childlike place, because
Speaker 1: we all have it. Even if you had a fucked
Speaker 1: up childhood, you have it, and you have an imagination.
Speaker 1: Even if your imagination is dark, you still have one.
Speaker 1: It's still there, which lets me know that you can create.
Speaker 1: So you can create it to look however you want
Speaker 1: it to look. So visualize it and then create the
Speaker 1: imagery that you want to create a life of joy
Speaker 1: and to create and to create, excuse me, a life
Speaker 1: of peace? Right? Dream it? Dream the life wherein you
Speaker 1: are filled with joy, and you feel at peace. Now
Speaker 1: you need to create the life's map to get there.
Speaker 1: It's just like goal setting. It's just goal setting on
Speaker 1: a much more grandiose level. There goes the grandiose word again. Huh.
Speaker 1: You create the map. Here's the thing, the keys that
Speaker 1: you are in control of all of this. And don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, this shit is not easy work at all.
Speaker 1: But like I said earlier, what's the alternative a life
Speaker 1: of discomfort or being content with being miserable? No, it's
Speaker 1: a no for me, dog, I ain't doing that. So
Speaker 1: be intentional and choose. Be intentional about your life. Be
Speaker 1: intentional about your smile, Be intentional about your joy. Being intentional,
Speaker 1: Oh little little look when you keep saying it, it's
Speaker 1: hard to say. Be intentional about your happiness. Be intentional
Speaker 1: about your energy. Be intentional about your love, where you
Speaker 1: put it, where you share it, who you share it with.
Speaker 1: Be intentional about the love you receive. Be intentional about
Speaker 1: what you share with the world. Be intentional about what
Speaker 1: you take or receive from the world. But most importantly,
Speaker 1: be intentional about your peace and mind. And we can
Speaker 1: start by just doing a check in with yourself, checking
Speaker 1: your energy and checking your intentions as you navigate through
Speaker 1: your day every single day, because we know when we
Speaker 1: ain't right, we know when our intentions are not good.
Speaker 1: We know we know when we fucked up. We know.
Speaker 1: It ain't no secret. And you can act like you
Speaker 1: don't know, but you know, and you know better than
Speaker 1: anybody else because it's your mind. The thought comes in
Speaker 1: your head and before you even act on it, you
Speaker 1: know it's there. And if you feel like you don't
Speaker 1: have any control over those thoughts, you definitely need to
Speaker 1: talk to somebody because some other things need to be
Speaker 1: tended to. And that doesn't mean that if you are
Speaker 1: doing something the world deems wrong, that it's wrong. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not here to judge, and I'm not saying go
Speaker 1: out here and commit crimes and think that it's okay
Speaker 1: or anything. What I am saying, though, is that judgment
Speaker 1: is not for man's, for God or for whoever or
Speaker 1: whatever you believe in. So don't worry about what other
Speaker 1: people have to say about your roadmap to happiness and
Speaker 1: your intentional life and what you choose to do and
Speaker 1: how you choose to set your intentions for your life,
Speaker 1: because it's yours. It's not theirs. You know when your
Speaker 1: intentions are ill advised, right, Like I said, we know,
Speaker 1: but you got to make sure that you're living your
Speaker 1: life for you and be intentional and do the things
Speaker 1: that are important to you and that you want to do.
Speaker 1: Like I said, don't go all here while and for respect,
Speaker 1: doing a whole bunch of bad stuff to hurt people. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you know when you ain't right, And I know
Speaker 1: it seems like it's a heavy load because it is.
Speaker 1: It is. People make it seem like being happy and
Speaker 1: living a joyful life is easy. No, it's not. The
Speaker 1: shit is hard work. It's hard work. Be like you
Speaker 1: gotta work like joy is hard work. Happiness hard work.
Speaker 1: Peace of mind is hard work. And if you throw
Speaker 1: in some mental health issues, whether they be small or
Speaker 1: drum roll grandiose, it's even harder work. I am tired.
Speaker 1: It's really hard work. And like, at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it boils down to what kind of life
Speaker 1: do you want to live? It also comes down to
Speaker 1: who's in control of your life? You know, I know
Speaker 1: I don't like people telling me what to do, but
Speaker 1: that's my own you know issue, right, But because of that,
Speaker 1: I want to constantly be in a space where I
Speaker 1: am choosing the life that I live and I am
Speaker 1: being intentional about the way that I move on earth
Speaker 1: every single day. And when your intentions are pure, you
Speaker 1: can kind of live free and move toward a place
Speaker 1: of peace. You know, it's not a destination. I always
Speaker 1: say that joy and happiness is like a spectrum, Like
Speaker 1: it's different points on the spectrum that you're gonna you're
Speaker 1: gonna hit or you're gonna you're gonna touch in your life.
Speaker 1: It's not like you look at the map and you
Speaker 1: drive to that place and that's the destination. No, you're
Speaker 1: always driving. You're gonna be driving forever. But along the
Speaker 1: journey or the road trip, you're gonna have moments of peace,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have moments of happiness, You're gonna have moments
Speaker 1: of joy. So you need to map that out, like
Speaker 1: on this journey, where do I want to go on
Speaker 1: this journey to try to get there? And it is
Speaker 1: hard work, but it's kind of essential. You know, for
Speaker 1: your physical health, your mental health could because when you're
Speaker 1: mental healthing right, your physical health suffers. And likewise, when
Speaker 1: you're physical healthing right, your mental health suffers. So I mean, like,
Speaker 1: it's not really too many ways around it. You know,
Speaker 1: some of y'all ain't right, and sometimes I ain't right.
Speaker 1: I'm been not right before, but I'm constantly working on
Speaker 1: being the best meeting that I can be. I'm always
Speaker 1: working at being my best, at least at the very
Speaker 1: least being better than I was yesterday. And some of
Speaker 1: us are out here and our intentions are all kind
Speaker 1: of all kinds of ft up in murky, but they
Speaker 1: don't have to stay in that space. That's the thing
Speaker 1: that is the listen. That is the wonderful thing about God.
Speaker 1: And I don't really care what anybody has to say,
Speaker 1: like that is the amazing thing. Every day that we
Speaker 1: wake up, it's another opportunity to do it again, to
Speaker 1: fix what we couldn't get right the day before. That's
Speaker 1: grace and mercy, you know. And I don't have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with any kind of religious beliefs. That's just
Speaker 1: grace and mercy. The grace that is extended that we
Speaker 1: are we don't really deserve. If you want me to
Speaker 1: be honest, we don't. So you don't have to stay
Speaker 1: in that space. You don't have to remain there. You
Speaker 1: have the free will to set your intentions to get
Speaker 1: up and get out of that space. You have the
Speaker 1: power to choose how you want to show up in
Speaker 1: the world. You choose. You don't let the world, nor
Speaker 1: do you let anyone else choose for you. And that
Speaker 1: is an act of freedom because it is your life,
Speaker 1: it is your choice, and you deserve to be free. So,
Speaker 1: friends and ken, today's straight fact question is from a
Speaker 1: young lady named Renee. Renee lives in Atlanta, and Renee says,
Speaker 1: I am noticing that I'm becoming one of my friend's
Speaker 1: convenient friend and convenient isn't quotation marks Not that social
Speaker 1: media media really matters, but I noticed that they always
Speaker 1: invite me out at the last minute, never really for
Speaker 1: any planned outings. Also, they post heavily all the exciting
Speaker 1: and fun events that I would actually like to attend
Speaker 1: if they would let me know ahead of time with
Speaker 1: their other friends others also in quotation marks. Am I
Speaker 1: being sensitive or is this something that I should bring
Speaker 1: up to them? First of all our name. I went
Speaker 1: through something like this in my early twenties with a
Speaker 1: friend of mine, and what she said to me was
Speaker 1: that she basically said that I was a flake and that.
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of times she would invite me
Speaker 1: out and I would flake on her, and so she
Speaker 1: kind of just stopped inviting me out. Well, that situation
Speaker 1: was twofold, but this isn't about me. I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: it about you. So what I'm saying the reason that
Speaker 1: I brought that up is because it allowed me an
Speaker 1: opportunity to reflect before we go on about you know
Speaker 1: how you should address it with your friend. Take a
Speaker 1: minute and reflect. Is there something that could be going on?
Speaker 1: How am I contributing to this? If I am contributing
Speaker 1: to this, I'm not saying that it's your fault at all,
Speaker 1: but take a minute, just a quick minute to reflect.
Speaker 1: Because once she told me that, I was able to reflect,
Speaker 1: like excuse me, I was able to reflect like, well, damn,
Speaker 1: she's right. I do like basically flake out at the
Speaker 1: last minute. I don't blame her because she addressed that
Speaker 1: with me and because she said that to me. Since then,
Speaker 1: I don't flake out on my friends at all. If
Speaker 1: I say I'm going to be somewhere, I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 1: I'll probably be late, but I'm gonna be there. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna show up because it's important to show up for people.
Speaker 1: It's so important. It's something that I live my life by.
Speaker 1: And also, if I don't want to go, then I
Speaker 1: don't go. But I say that I'm not gonna go
Speaker 1: if I'm not sure we're about it, I'll say I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if I'm gonna be able to make it
Speaker 1: or I'm really going to try to make it, but
Speaker 1: I can't guarantee. At the end of the day, you know,
Speaker 1: I just had to do some self reflection and it
Speaker 1: actually changed my life. So think about that first two.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna negate any feelings. You are allowed by
Speaker 1: the universe. You are free, you are worthy, and you
Speaker 1: are validated in feeling however you feel. Even if people
Speaker 1: think you're being sensitive, or you're being dramatic, or you're
Speaker 1: being extra all things that I hate for people to
Speaker 1: say to other people, you have the right to feel
Speaker 1: that way. So in saying that, I would say that
Speaker 1: the next thing is that if someone is your friend,
Speaker 1: you also are free to address them. I don't recommend
Speaker 1: being super defensive. I don't recommend being super I'm bad
Speaker 1: if I don't recommend being super aggressive. So this is
Speaker 1: another way that you might want to check yourself. I
Speaker 1: don't know you renee, so I don't know how you
Speaker 1: approach situations. But something that I always tell my aunt actually,
Speaker 1: which is interesting because she's the aunt, but I always
Speaker 1: tell her that you get more bees with honey than
Speaker 1: you do with vinegar. It's an old adage, you know,
Speaker 1: black people. Old black people say it all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm sure other people say it. But as you know,
Speaker 1: you already know how I get down. So anyway, I
Speaker 1: would say, go to her and have a conversation with her.
Speaker 1: And social media does matter. All of these things matter
Speaker 1: because you're bringing it up. So it's an issue. If
Speaker 1: it's an issue and it's on your heart, let it
Speaker 1: come out of your mouth. Say it to your friend.
Speaker 1: If you love her and you care about her, and
Speaker 1: you guys are really friends and your friendship is important
Speaker 1: to you, then it is important that you go to
Speaker 1: her and you say, hey, I noticed that, and then
Speaker 1: you finish. It's that simple. And how she responds, what
Speaker 1: she says, how she addresses the issue, and how she
Speaker 1: moves and navigates through your friendship after you address it
Speaker 1: with her will tell you everything you need to know. So,
Speaker 1: as with most of these questions, that I get for
Speaker 1: straight facts. It's all about communication. Go to the person,
Speaker 1: state how you feel or state what you're thinking, speak
Speaker 1: your peace, and have a conversation like your adults. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. If she comes at you sideways,
Speaker 1: then you know, maybe this check ain't my friend. If
Speaker 1: she tries to tell you, if she gaslights you and
Speaker 1: say no, because people are notorious for that. She gaslights
Speaker 1: you and say no, you're crazy, that's not true. That'll
Speaker 1: tell you a lot too, because you know they had
Speaker 1: to come from somewhere. Either way, Just talk to her.
Speaker 1: I hope that helps. Good luck with your friend, and
Speaker 1: you might want to be considering yourself lucky that she
Speaker 1: isn't inviting you out to all these places, because from
Speaker 1: the looks of it, down in Atlanta, people are wiling
Speaker 1: for respect hanging out in strip clubs and clubs and
Speaker 1: lounges and stuff, and they don't have no mask on.
Speaker 1: So maybe it's good that she doesn't invite you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, just always look for the positive
Speaker 1: and every situation syst be good. So for we got
Speaker 1: to do better today this episode in the spirit of
Speaker 1: today being March first, which is the first day of
Speaker 1: women's history months. I just thought that this will be
Speaker 1: a great quote. The quote is by the amazing ancestor
Speaker 1: Hattie McDaniel. And if you don't know who Hattie McDaniel is,
Speaker 1: please just pause this and go google it and come
Speaker 1: back to it, because you need to know who she is.
Speaker 1: Hattie McDaniel said, a woman's gifts will make room for her.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it to you again because that's what
Speaker 1: I do. A woman's gifts will make room for her,
Speaker 1: so first and foremost, like I said, shout out to
Speaker 1: Hattie McDaniel. And this quote was originally a Bible verse
Speaker 1: in Proverbs eighteen sixteen. It says a man's gift makes
Speaker 1: room for him, but Auntie Hattie said, it ain't all
Speaker 1: about men and their gifts. We have gifts as well. Shit,
Speaker 1: we are the gifts, okay. And it's funny that this
Speaker 1: verse speaks of men. But I can't help but to
Speaker 1: feel like women were counted out of the concept of
Speaker 1: gifts making room for you when this was written in
Speaker 1: the age of pronouns and such. You know, put some
Speaker 1: respect on my pronoun, okay. A woman's gifts will make
Speaker 1: room for her. Put some respect on my her name.
Speaker 1: Now that we've cleared that up, I found this interpretation
Speaker 1: of the quote or the verse online and it says,
Speaker 1: what you were designed to be known for as your gift.
Speaker 1: God has put a gift or talent in every person
Speaker 1: that the world will make room for. It is this
Speaker 1: gift that will enable you to fulfill your vision. I
Speaker 1: enjoy this interpretation. I like this breakdown because it's inclusive,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, and I also like it because it
Speaker 1: lays it out in the most simple way. I always say,
Speaker 1: break it down to the last compound, and this is
Speaker 1: broken down to the very last compound. The truth is
Speaker 1: that your true God given gifts, when you acknowledge and
Speaker 1: accept them, will create a space in your life and
Speaker 1: an energy in your life to thrive. And as long
Speaker 1: as you stay out of your own way, you will
Speaker 1: thrive and live in those gifts and reap the reward
Speaker 1: of that God given gift. So I leave you with
Speaker 1: this thought, friends and ken, do you know what your
Speaker 1: gift is? Have you identified your God given gift? And
Speaker 1: if so, what is it and how does it show
Speaker 1: up in your life? Is it a part of how
Speaker 1: you fulfill your vision? Do you even have a vision.
Speaker 1: If you have not identified your God given gift, or
Speaker 1: your triple g as we'll call it, how will you
Speaker 1: begin to tap into finding it? You could be very
Speaker 1: well sitting on what it takes to save this incredibly
Speaker 1: disturbing world that we live in. So tap in, friends,
Speaker 1: and can tap into your triple g because it's time.
Speaker 1: The world is waiting for you, friends and ken. The
Speaker 1: first thing I want to do is always the first
Speaker 1: thing that I do when it's time for me to
Speaker 1: show gratitude, and that is for me to thank God.
Speaker 1: Because God is supreme. I recognize and appreciate the grace
Speaker 1: that God extends me every single day of my life.
Speaker 1: And I am beyond grateful because there's nowhere written that
Speaker 1: says that that's how it has to go for me.
Speaker 1: I also want to thank me for all the hard work,
Speaker 1: for the consistency, for the determination that I show. I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to myself for being committed to this podcast and
Speaker 1: showing gratitude for yourself as a form of self care.
Speaker 1: And we know that here at hand, me my purse,
Speaker 1: we are all about self care. I am thankful for
Speaker 1: my family, my friends, my supporters, and of course you
Speaker 1: out there listening. I love you guys so much and
Speaker 1: I'm honored to share this time and my energy with you,
Speaker 1: especially if you keep coming back. I cannot wait until
Speaker 1: the next time we get to do this again. Remember
Speaker 1: that the next release for shows, which will be March fifteenth,
Speaker 1: I'm releasing two shows on that day and they will
Speaker 1: be very informative. We're going to talk a little bit
Speaker 1: about racism inequity in specific sector in this country, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be really informative. It's going to be
Speaker 1: really good. So please make sure you listen. And you
Speaker 1: don't have to listen to both of the shows in
Speaker 1: one day unless you want to. I highly recommend it,
Speaker 1: but you may not have time to do that. But
Speaker 1: I want you to know that the shows are going
Speaker 1: to be really amazing. I have some really amazing guests
Speaker 1: on both shows. I also want to take some time
Speaker 1: out and thank one more time Gina, the creator of
Speaker 1: the Bedroom Bartender, for sharing that amazing recipe in all
Speaker 1: the accoutrements that go along with it, bringing her vision
Speaker 1: to life. For our drink today, which is called the
Speaker 1: Black Toddy and celebration of the culmination of Black History
Speaker 1: Month and to celebrate our Auntie Billie Holiday. I got
Speaker 1: to make sure to watch that movie on Hulu because
Speaker 1: Gina said that it was good. Now hold up, before
Speaker 1: you exit out of whatever streaming service you are using
Speaker 1: the listen to this, I want you to stop what
Speaker 1: you're doing because I'm about to ruin the image in
Speaker 1: the style that you used to know. I want you
Speaker 1: to stop what you're doing, and if you haven't already
Speaker 1: done so, scroll up and go subscribe or follow if
Speaker 1: that is an option on the streaming service where you
Speaker 1: are listening. I do also want you to get on
Speaker 1: over to Instagram and follow me at hand Me My
Speaker 1: Purse Underscore Podcast again that has hand Me My Purse
Speaker 1: Underscore podcast, and you can also follow me on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get my Twitter armstrong at h M
Speaker 1: M P Underscore Podcast again. On Twitter at h M
Speaker 1: m P Underscore Podcast, and on Facebook just search hand
Speaker 1: Me My Purse podcast. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher,
Speaker 1: or Pandora, or any other medium that allows you to
Speaker 1: do so, please rate and review the show or give
Speaker 1: it a thumbs up. Please don't give it a thumbs
Speaker 1: down unless you really hate it. Then I want you
Speaker 1: to give it a thumbs down, but only if you
Speaker 1: really don't like it. Be sure to share hand me
Speaker 1: my person with your friends, your loved one and loved
Speaker 1: ones excuse me, and even people you don't really like
Speaker 1: or people you don't know if you like, because they
Speaker 1: should not be denied all of this lovely right. The
Speaker 1: best way for people to find that, correct me. The
Speaker 1: best way for people to find out about this show
Speaker 1: is by you, guys telling them all about it. So
Speaker 1: tell a friend to tell a friend, and maybe they
Speaker 1: will tell a friend. Also, if you submit a review,
Speaker 1: your review may be featured on an episode on an
Speaker 1: upcoming episode in the very near future, probably in about
Speaker 1: a month, I'm going to start reading reviews of the show,
Speaker 1: and I want to share with you what other people
Speaker 1: are saying about the show. So I'm going to start
Speaker 1: doing that. So please just take two minutes out of
Speaker 1: your time if it takes that long, it might take
Speaker 1: less than that to review the show. Let people know
Speaker 1: how you feel about it, what you think, and be honest.
Speaker 1: Remember to subscribe and or follow the show so that
Speaker 1: you are the first to know when I drop a
Speaker 1: new episode, which is always on the first and fifteenth
Speaker 1: of every month. Follow Himing my Purse on social media
Speaker 1: and rate and review the show, and tell your friends
Speaker 1: and your ken about hand Me my Purse, because sharing,
Speaker 1: my friends is caring. Show notes will always be available
Speaker 1: at hand Me my Purse dot busprout dot com, and
Speaker 1: I highly suggest that you get into the habit of
Speaker 1: reading the show notes because all of the links to
Speaker 1: all of the things that I talk about, all the
Speaker 1: information that I share, are in the show notes, and
Speaker 1: I don't write them for any for no reason. I
Speaker 1: write them so that you can have access to the
Speaker 1: information that I share with you, So read them. Please,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. Also, just an fyi that opening
Speaker 1: and closing music for hand Me My Purse is provided
Speaker 1: by Gloomy Tunes, which is a local music producer in
Speaker 1: Baltimore City. Please submit your questions for the straight fact segment,
Speaker 1: as well as photos, stories, and quotes about your aunties
Speaker 1: too hello at hand Me my Purse dot com or
Speaker 1: send a DM to me on Instagram. They may be
Speaker 1: featured on a future episode or on our social media page.
Speaker 1: And just an fyi, you can expect a brand new
Speaker 1: episode of Handing My Purse to podcast on the first
Speaker 1: and fifteenth of every single month. So the same way
Speaker 1: you expected those checks on the first and the fifteenth
Speaker 1: early in the morning, you already know your girl is
Speaker 1: gonna have you covered on those days again, the first
Speaker 1: and fifteenth of every month on your podcast streaming services
Speaker 1: such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher. These are for my
Speaker 1: international friends and Ken and anywhere else you may even
Speaker 1: think that you can find it, or you can just
Speaker 1: go straight to my bus Sproute website and find it there.
Speaker 1: I look forward to you, looking forward to listening and
Speaker 1: on my