1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine, Hey Bessies. Today on the bright Side, we're 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,799 Speaker 1: joined by psychologist, author, and host of the award winning 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: podcast Therapy for Black Girls, Doctor Joy Harden Bradford is 4 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: here and just in time from Mental Health Day. She's 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 1: going to answer all the questions we're too afraid to 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: ask about therapy. It's Wednesday, October ninth. I'm Simone Boyce. 7 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 2: Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 2: share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. 10 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: Today's Wellness Wednesday is presented by Coligard. 11 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 3: Simone. 12 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 2: Tomorrow ten ten is World Mental Health Day, which, according 13 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 2: to the World Health Organization, is a day dedicated to 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 2: raising awareness and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health. 15 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 2: So today we are dedicating Wellness Wednesday to mental health 16 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: and specifically we're focusing on therapy. 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: Danielle, I feel like the word therapy means so many 18 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: different things to so many different people. So today we 19 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: wanted to set aside some time to ask all the 20 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: questions you may have been afraid to ask and get 21 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: answers from a therapist perspective. Questions like is my therapist 22 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: judging me when I drop all my baggage at their door. 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: What kind of therapy is right for me? And how 24 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: do you know when it's time for you and your 25 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,839 Speaker 1: therapist to part ways? Mm? 26 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 3: Is my therapist judging me? 27 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,479 Speaker 1: That's what I've always wondered. 28 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I talk about therapy a lot, 29 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 2: and not in the way that I'm trying to like 30 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: drop a quote from a therapist, but it's been such 31 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 2: a helpful tool for me. I remember when I was younger, 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: I felt frustrated all the time, and in my communication 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 2: I would get an email and I would see I 34 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 2: didn't know how to reply, or if I was in 35 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 2: conflict with a friend or a loved one, I didn't 36 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 2: know how to approach it. 37 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 3: And now it's not like those. 38 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 2: Things are any easier necessarily, but I feel like I'm 39 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 2: so much less frustrated because I have communication tools. How 40 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 2: do you feel because I know you've dipped in and out? 41 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, this one. I've tried several different types of therapy, 42 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: and I think that's an important part of the conversation. 43 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: We talk a lot about one on one talk therapy, 44 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: but there are so many different forms that can be 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: helpful and that can serve you. And earlier this year, 46 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: I tried group therapy and I was such a skeptic 47 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: at the beginning, but completely blown away by the results 48 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: at the end. And one thing the therapist told us 49 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: before we walked into this experience was that you're going 50 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: to be shocked by how much of your healing comes 51 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: from watching other people here. 52 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 3: That's really cool. 53 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 2: I've tried CBT, which was my first introduction to therapy, 54 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 2: and it was helpful. I don't know if it was 55 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: the best for me. What I've landed on is gestalt therapy, 56 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: and gestalt is like the practice. It's a regular talk therapy, 57 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: but it's the practice of being in relationship to something 58 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 2: all the time. You could even be in relationship to 59 00:02:56,040 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 2: a tree or a chair. But that that has helped. 60 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 2: I think I'm like relationally focused, so it makes sense. 61 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,519 Speaker 2: But there's still so many versions I want to try, 62 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: and there's no one size. 63 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 3: Fits all approach. It's all super personal. 64 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: You know. 65 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 2: I have a lot of family members who refuse to 66 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 2: go to therapy. 67 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 3: Oh no, And. 68 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 2: If you're listening, I'm not saying you all need it, 69 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 2: but you need it maybe but maybe no, But what 70 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 2: I've learned is that it is really personal. I think 71 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 2: one of the hesitations I've heard from family members is 72 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 2: it feels like it's opening Pandora's box. It can be 73 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: very painful. I have to be honest. The first two 74 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: years of therapy, I was sitting on my couch crying 75 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 2: a whole lot. I still cry in therapy, but not 76 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 2: like I used to. It is a little bit about 77 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 2: opening Pandora's box. Not everybody wants to do that. Yeah, 78 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 2: it's super confronting. 79 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: Well, hey, maybe this is a great episode to send 80 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: to your family members who might be verra curious. 81 00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 3: Well, I'm actually really sad. 82 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: I was way for this conversation and I can't wait 83 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 2: to hear everything you chatted about with today's guest. 84 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: Yes, it's perfect timing in honor of World Mental Health Day. 85 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: I truly just fell in love with doctor joy Hard 86 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 1: and Bradford and the work that she does. I can 87 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: see why so many people love her because she just 88 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: has this like calming energy about her that makes you 89 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: want to trust her instantly. She's a licensed psychologist, the 90 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: author of Sisterhood Heels, and the founder and host of 91 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls. I'm so excited for you and 92 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 1: our Brightside bessies to hear this interview. Here's my conversation 93 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: with doctor Joy, Hard and Bradford. Welcome to the bright Side, 94 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: doctor Joy, Bradford, very happy to be here with you, Samo. 95 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: So tomorrow is World Mental Health Day, and I think 96 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: a lot of our bright Side besties who are listening 97 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: have questions about therapy, where to start, and what the 98 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: benefits are. So I'm thrilled that we get to talk 99 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: to you today because you are such an essential voice 100 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: in this space, as evidenced by the fact that in 101 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one you want a web Be Award for 102 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,239 Speaker 1: your podcast Therapy for Black Girls. And in your acceptance speech, 103 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: you said, I am because we are. Tell us what 104 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: those five words mean to you, Yeah, I. 105 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 4: Think it really means that community is the backbone of 106 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 4: everything that we do, and I feel like that has 107 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 4: kind of been a model for my life. I really 108 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 4: want to be of service to people through mental health 109 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,919 Speaker 4: awareness and breaking the stigma related to mental health. And 110 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 4: so those five words felt like a great acceptance speech 111 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 4: for a speech that only requires five words. 112 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: And I found this quote on your website too. It 113 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,039 Speaker 1: said a lot of times when we talk about mental 114 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: illness or mental health. I think there's a lot missing 115 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: from the conversation. What did you think was missing from 116 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: the conversation when you became a therapist, and what did 117 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: you think that you could contribute to it. 118 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 4: I think that I've always felt that there was a 119 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 4: lot missing as it relates to communities of color. So 120 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 4: we know that a lot of the interventions, a lot 121 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 4: of the theories that we use as therapists are all 122 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 4: kind of created for and by straight white men in 123 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 4: and so there's of course a lot that is missing 124 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 4: from the conversation where you're talking about using those same 125 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 4: techniques on people who are not straight white men. And 126 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 4: so I think that there's a lot of conversation and 127 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 4: information missing as it relates to what therapy looks like 128 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 4: in communities of color, how symptoms may even look different 129 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 4: in our communities. And so I really have aimed to 130 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 4: have therapy for black girls, and the work that I've 131 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 4: done as a part of my career be an effort 132 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 4: to kind of create some of that work, right, to 133 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 4: be able to kind of give voice and look at 134 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 4: different ways that healing happens in communities of color. 135 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 1: Okay, you have to forgive me joy because I'm on 136 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: my period right now, so my emotions are all over 137 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: the place. So I'm probably going to get emotional during 138 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: this interview. But I got emotional as I was preparing 139 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 1: for this interview with you because I was raised by 140 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: a black mom who I don't think ever had the 141 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: option of doing therapy when she was a little girl, 142 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: and she went through some stuff, and her sisters went 143 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: through some stuff, and her parents went or some stuff, 144 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: but it was always swept under the rug. And as 145 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: I was preparing for this conversation, I was really struck 146 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: by this idea of the generational impact of therapy and 147 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: this specific question, how would my life look different if 148 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: my mom had gotten therapy as a young woman. Can 149 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: you speak to the collective healing aspect of this? 150 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, that feels so important. I appreciate you sharing that 151 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 4: with us today and even thinking about my own family, right, like, 152 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 4: when I think about, like, oh, what kinds of conversations 153 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 4: did we have about mental health? There weren't any directly, 154 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 4: but I definitely remember, like my mother and my aunties 155 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 4: talking about their nerves being bad. 156 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: Right, So now I know that what they were. 157 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 4: Describing was anxiety, but at the time they didn't have 158 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 4: language for that, right, And it sounds like the same 159 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 4: thing with your mom and your family, right, Like so 160 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 4: many things that have happened in our lives and in 161 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 4: our family's lives have been traumatic, but we didn't use 162 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 4: the word trauma, right, Like, I think for a lot 163 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 4: of us, it was just what life was. And so 164 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 4: it is only now in looking back that we were able 165 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,679 Speaker 4: to say, like, oh, that was really a big deal, 166 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 4: and more care should have been taken, more support should 167 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 4: have been offered after that thing happened. And so I 168 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 4: think the fact that we are having these kinds of 169 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 4: conversations today, the fact that we are talking to our 170 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 4: girlfriends and our children and our sisters now about these things, 171 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 4: means that our mothers and grandmothers also are feeling some 172 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 4: of that, right, Like they are also able to reimagine, like, oh, 173 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 4: that thing that happened to me was traumatic, and like 174 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 4: I can give myself grace and I can take care 175 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 4: of myself when difficult things happen. And so I think 176 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 4: that that is really where some of that generational healing happens, 177 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 4: in that we are now having these conversations, we're going 178 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,839 Speaker 4: to therapy. We're doing the kinds of things that our 179 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 4: mothers and grandmothers didn't even have language for. 180 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 1: You know, the statistics back up everything you're saying about 181 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: the disparities and the stigma surrounding mental health issues, particularly 182 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: in communities of color. I mean, statistics show that most 183 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: therapists are white women, twenty five percent of therapists identify 184 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: as minorities. And you've been so outspoken about the importance 185 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: of having a therapist who can provide culturally informed services 186 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: for patients. Why is that piece of this so important. 187 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of research that talks about 188 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 4: even like depression, how depression symptoms look different in communities 189 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 4: of colors, especially Black women, right, So, I think in 190 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 4: a lot of Black women, depression often presents as a 191 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 4: more physical kind of symptoms and more stomach aches, more headaches, 192 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 4: And when you think about it, it kind of makes 193 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 4: sense because we have not had the luxury of being 194 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 4: able to sit in a corner and cry like that 195 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 4: is not typically our lived experience, and so of course 196 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 4: symptoms may look very different. But if you don't have 197 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 4: a provider who knows to look for a different range 198 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 4: of symptoms, then things can be missed, and so it's 199 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 4: really important that we are at the table in terms 200 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 4: of being providers, so that we are kind of being 201 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 4: attuned to the ways that our culture shapes how we 202 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 4: talk about mental health. The relationships we have to faith 203 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 4: and spirituality. I think have been demonized when people of 204 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 4: color are not actually the providers because they don't have 205 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 4: the understanding and the context to the role that faith 206 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 4: and religion has in our lives. And so I think 207 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 4: that we just add much more to the table and 208 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 4: much more to the conversation that make sure that people 209 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 4: are then getting the care that they actually deserve. 210 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: You are named a game changer by Glamour. You are 211 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: truly one of the pioneers who is actively reducing the 212 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:36,359 Speaker 1: stigma surrounding mental health and therapy. When you survey the landscape, 213 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: where do you think we are with that stigma right now? 214 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,959 Speaker 1: I think we've come a very far away. 215 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 4: Like, I think we've done a lot of incredible work, 216 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 4: but I think that there are still more work to 217 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 4: be done, right, Like, I don't know that we're ever 218 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 4: really finished. Just by the fact that we are having 219 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,199 Speaker 4: this conversation, so many young people are sharing their experiences 220 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 4: with therapy online. Every time somebody who's a public figure 221 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,440 Speaker 4: or somebody who has a large platform talk about like 222 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 4: their own struggles with mental health or mental illness, it 223 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 4: makes it more okay for other people to say, like, oh, 224 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 4: I didn't know that this was a thing that you 225 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 4: could talk with the therapist about, or oh, I don't 226 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 4: feel so alone because other people feel this way as well. 227 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 4: And so I think the more that we talk about it, 228 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 4: the more that we share our experiences, we're continuing to 229 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 4: really chip away at that stigma. 230 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: Well, you brought up young people being really engaged in 231 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: this conversation, and I think there's a really interesting dynamic there. 232 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: It feels like, and I would need to look at 233 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: the research on this, but it feels like we are 234 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: the first generation that is prioritizing therapy in such a 235 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: powerful way. Why do you think that is? Like, why 236 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: do you think things are changing with us and with 237 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: the youth? You know? 238 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 4: So, I think some of it is related to school 239 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 4: counselors in school. So I don't know about you, but 240 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 4: when I was in school, like the school counselor really 241 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 4: was only in charge of like scheduling, like they didn't 242 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 4: actually talk to you about any kind of mental health concerns. 243 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 4: School counselors now actually are there to tend to the 244 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,199 Speaker 4: socio emotional needs of students, like dealing with big feelings 245 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 4: and how to meditate and all of these kinds of 246 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 4: things that are really helpful in giving kids language to 247 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 4: describe their interior experiences. I also think that, you know, 248 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 4: because so many of us are aware of the kinds 249 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 4: of things that there could be helpful for, we're also 250 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 4: talking to our kids about it or getting kids support 251 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,599 Speaker 4: when they needed, you know. I definitely think a byproduct 252 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 4: of the pandemic was that so many people were struggling, 253 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 4: right and we know that kids especially were really hit 254 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 4: hard by being pulled away from their social connections and 255 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 4: you know, all the things that they were used to, 256 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 4: and so a lot of kids needed some additional support. 257 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 4: And so I think because people are recognizing that kids 258 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 4: have feelings that they need to tend to as well, 259 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 4: it is easier for young people to continue to talk 260 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 4: more about this much more openly. 261 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: It's time for a short break, but we'll be right 262 00:12:55,120 --> 00:13:07,239 Speaker 1: back to wellness Wednesday with doctor joy Hard and Bradford. 263 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 1: And we're back with doctor joy Hard and Bradford. For 264 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: people who have never done therapy before, can you talk 265 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: a bit about the value of a therapist, like, what 266 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 1: does a therapist uniquely bring to your interior experience as 267 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 1: opposed to just talking to a friend offloading to a spouse. 268 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: What are the benefits here? I think it does. 269 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 4: Largely feel like a very foreign experience. Even though so 270 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 4: many of us are talking, you still don't really know 271 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 4: what's happening behind the closed doors. Are in the private zoom, right, 272 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,680 Speaker 4: And I think the difference of talking to a therapist 273 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 4: versus like a friend or somebody else in your life 274 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 4: is that it is much more about you. So when 275 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 4: you're talking to a friend, like you might vent and 276 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 4: talk about what's going on with you, and there's also 277 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 4: the expectation that your friend is going to talk about 278 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 4: what's going on with them, yes, whereas with a therapist, 279 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 4: they're there really to just hold space for you and 280 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 4: your concerns, which I think is also a little weird 281 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 4: because it's like, I'm sharing all this information about you, 282 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 4: but I know nothing about what's happening with a therapist 283 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,480 Speaker 4: one hundred percent. That's how it's designed, that's how it's 284 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 4: designed to be, right, and I think it is a 285 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 4: great experience because so many of us don't actually slow 286 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 4: down or have those spaces where like people are actually 287 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 4: centering our needs, and so therapy, I think is really 288 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 4: great to be able to just give you space to 289 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 4: talk through whatever is going on with you. 290 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: It's actually a place to be selfish, yes, which is 291 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: kind of nice. And as you get older, it's rare 292 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: to find those opportunities as you add more responsibilities into 293 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: your life. Exactly. You know you brought up the awkwardness 294 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: of like sharing all of your dirty laundry with a therapist, right, 295 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: I have so been there. I think anybody who has 296 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: done therapy has felt that feeling of like that first 297 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 1: meeting with a therapist. It's so scary it takes a 298 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 1: lot of bravery. I got invited to this group therapy 299 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: retreat earlier this year, and at the beginning of it, 300 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: they asked all of us to pick a spot in 301 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 1: the room based on how scared we were to start 302 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: this experience. None of us knew each other. A couple 303 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: of people knew each other, but it was mostly strangers, 304 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: and so it was only me and my friend Mariah, 305 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: who are all the way on the terrified side of 306 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: the scale, isolated from everyone else, and we were like, 307 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to y'all. I'm not sharing 308 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: my secrets. I don't know any of y'all. Y'all gonna 309 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: go around town spread my business. But once I started 310 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: to feel the trust and trust the process and open 311 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: up my heart, the healing from that point on was magical. 312 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: And I think the healing in therapy, if you surrender 313 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 1: to it, is truly magical. 314 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, So, first of all, I love that you talked 315 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 4: about like a group therapy experience, because group therapy is 316 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: actually my favorite way to practice therapy because I think 317 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 4: what you just said right, like, there's probably something that 318 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 4: happened in that weekend or week however long y'all been 319 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 4: together that it might take six months to a year 320 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 4: for you to get to with an individual therapy, And 321 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 4: so group therapy really just kind of pours gasoline on 322 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 4: healing in a lot of ways because there are just 323 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 4: so many more people to kind of project off of, 324 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 4: and all of this stuff is like in the room 325 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 4: at the same time. 326 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 1: So I love that you talked about it. On that note, 327 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: they were like, watch, sixty percent of your healing is 328 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: going to come from watching someone else's healing, and it 329 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: was so true everything you said. I stand ten toes 330 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: down on it because it was like six months of 331 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: therapy packed into five days. I'm always afraid, though, that 332 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: therapists are going to judge me and think my baggage 333 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: is worse than everyone else's. So will you share what 334 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: that first meeting is like? From a therapist perspective. 335 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 4: The concern around your therapist judging you is a very 336 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 4: common one. So I just want to first normalize this 337 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 4: idea that it is very weird and awkward to be 338 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 4: talking to a stranger about some very personal stuff. But 339 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 4: I also want you to trust that your therapist has 340 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 4: been trained to be able to hear all these things 341 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 4: that you feel like and because it's your personal experience, 342 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 4: you feel like nobody else in the world has ever 343 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,919 Speaker 4: felt this way or has had any of these experiences. 344 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 4: But as a therapist, we've also had the experience of 345 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 4: hearing multiple people share things that are probably very similar 346 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,120 Speaker 4: to what you're sharing, and so even if the content 347 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 4: is not the same as like another client, we've heard 348 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 4: a lot of things, and so you can trust that 349 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 4: you are not shocking your therapists that we've done enough 350 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 4: training to be able to hold whatever it is that 351 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 4: you come into the room with. But I also want 352 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 4: to give you permission that if you feel judged by 353 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,120 Speaker 4: your therapist, to tell them that, because I think that 354 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 4: that is also a great way to just practice advocating 355 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 4: for yourself. Therapy, I think is cool in so many 356 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,640 Speaker 4: different ways. But one of my favorite things about therapy 357 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 4: is that it allows you to have some difficult conversations 358 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 4: that you might not have in other places in your life. 359 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 4: So being able to tell the therapist, who is in 360 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 4: a bit of an authority role, hey, I'm kind of 361 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 4: feeling judged by this thing that I shared with you, 362 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 4: and then you be able to talk to your therapist 363 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 4: about that and them share whether they are are judging 364 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 4: you or not. Really is a great conversation that provides 365 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 4: a model for you to have those same kinds of 366 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 4: conversations and other places in your life. 367 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: That piece that you mentioned about feeling like no one 368 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: has ever experienced problems like mine, and no one's going 369 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 1: through my struggles, nobody understands, and then only to find 370 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: out that as a therapist you see some of the 371 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: same recurring themes come up over and over again. Wow, 372 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 1: what a powerful reminder and something to keep in mind 373 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,880 Speaker 1: as we're spiraling. You know, what are some of those 374 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 1: recurring themes that keep coming up? 375 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 4: So I think anxiety has been for years the number 376 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 4: one the most diagnosed mental health condition, and especially kind 377 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 4: of coming out of the pandemic. I think the pandemic 378 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 4: also provided this opportunity for people to really reimagine and 379 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 4: re examine their values. I think lots of people are 380 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 4: trying to come to groups with I thought that this 381 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 4: thing was really important in my life, but now it 382 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 4: isn't so much, and so what does that mean for 383 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,199 Speaker 4: the rest of my life? So lots of transitions like 384 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,640 Speaker 4: purpose in life kinds of things, and lots of anxiety. 385 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: For patients who are looking for a therapist who is 386 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 1: a person of color, will you tell us more about 387 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls database, Lo, this is huge? 388 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So we have over six thousand therapists across 389 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 4: the country and in Canada who really love doing great 390 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 4: work with black women and girls. So they don't necessarily 391 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 4: see black women and girls exclusively, but they really want 392 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 4: to make sure that they are able to be found. 393 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 4: And so I'm just so excited that, like so many 394 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 4: people have become members of our directory and really want 395 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 4: to be found by clients. And I think when you 396 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 4: are looking for a therapist, it is a bit like dating, right, 397 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,959 Speaker 4: Like you are trying to see who's going to be 398 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 4: the best fit for you. And I encourage people even 399 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 4: though I know it's so hard, because, especially if you've 400 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,639 Speaker 4: been wanting to do therapy for a long time, you 401 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 4: finally have the bravery to make that call, and then 402 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,640 Speaker 4: you maybe go to a couple of sessions and you're like, oh, 403 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,680 Speaker 4: I don't know that this person is actually a great 404 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 4: fit for me. That it's totally okay because the first 405 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,160 Speaker 4: therapist is not necessarily going to be the best fit 406 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 4: for you, And so I think it is okay to 407 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 4: kind of continue to try different therapists until you find 408 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 4: somebody who's actually going to. 409 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: Be a great fit for you. How do you know 410 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: when it's the right fit? 411 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I often use this example, you know, 412 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,720 Speaker 4: you sometimes like we go to a dentist who doesn't 413 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 4: have the greatest bedside manner, but they're like an excellent dentist, 414 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,680 Speaker 4: and so we go because it's like, oh, I only 415 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 4: see them once or twice a year. Right with your therapist, 416 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,919 Speaker 4: It's likely not going to be that you're gonna want 417 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 4: to find somebody who has a great bedside manner or 418 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 4: somebody who you really feel like you click with, because 419 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 4: you're likely going to be meeting with them on a 420 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 4: weekly or maybe every other week. Basis, the number one 421 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,719 Speaker 4: key to success in the therapeutic relationship is the relationship 422 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,160 Speaker 4: that you have with your therapist. So no matter how 423 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 4: we practice, no matter what our degree is in, if 424 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 4: the relationship with the therapist is strong, you're more likely 425 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 4: to see success in therapy. I do think it's also 426 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 4: really important to make sure that the therapist has training 427 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 4: in the thing that you are coming to them for. Right, 428 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 4: So you might find a therapist's website and follow them 429 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 4: on social and you're like, oh, I really love their personality, 430 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 4: But if they're not trained in the thing that you 431 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 4: are needing assistance with, it's probably not going to be 432 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 4: helpful for you. 433 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 1: So let's say that you've been going to therapy for 434 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 1: a minute, you have a good relationship with your therapist, 435 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: it can still sometimes be hard to bring up the 436 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: issues that you want to talk about. What would you 437 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 1: say to someone who has something that they know that 438 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: they need to unpack with their practitioner, but it feels 439 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 1: difficult or shameful to bring it up in their session. 440 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, So first, I think it is important to be 441 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 4: okay that it is slow to warm up to some people, right, 442 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 4: Like that is a part of what it means to 443 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 4: develop healthy relationships with other people is that you kind 444 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 4: of feel them out, like, okay, can I trust this person? 445 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 4: And so that's totally okay that you don't then necessarily 446 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 4: feel comfortable sharing everything in your first session. But if 447 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 4: you are feeling anxious or you're a little worried and 448 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 4: you know there's something you want to share that you 449 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 4: just can't quite bring yourself to share, I would say 450 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 4: to share that, to share that there is something I 451 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,199 Speaker 4: want to tell you and it's feeling very difficult for 452 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 4: me to bring it up, And then you will likely 453 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 4: have an incredible conversation with your therapist about what's making 454 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 4: it difficult. In what other places in your life do 455 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 4: you have difficulty disclosing you know, things like this, who 456 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 4: has made you feel bad about this thing in the past, Like, 457 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 4: there's incredible, excellent work that can be done without you 458 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 4: ever even bringing up the thing, and then I think 459 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 4: that those conversations then make it easier. They're almost a 460 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 4: gateway to you feeling okay, this person gets me. I 461 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 4: think I can trust them, and then it is much 462 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 4: easier to share whatever the thing is. 463 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: I love that advice exactly when it comes to the 464 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: idea of like ending a relationship with the therapist. I 465 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: thought you had some really interesting thoughts on this on 466 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 1: your Therapy for Black Girls podcast. This you talked about 467 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: this online phenomenon of people saying that they were fired 468 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 1: by their therapist. Can you unpack that a little describe 469 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: a center car on which a therapist would tell a 470 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: client that they won't be continuing the therapeutic relationship. 471 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:06,919 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. 472 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 473 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 4: And I think for a lot of clients that feels 474 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 4: very hard to hear sometimes because of what we talked 475 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 4: about earlier, like this idea that I'm too much and 476 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 4: so even this therapist now feels like I'm too much 477 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 4: for them to work with. 478 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 1: But there are some very good. 479 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,919 Speaker 4: Cases why a therapist might feel like I'm not doing 480 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 4: the best service to you because maybe you are presenting 481 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 4: with a concern that I don't actually have expertise with, 482 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 4: right So maybe you came in talking about anxiety, and 483 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 4: you know, I felt like I had a good grasp 484 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 4: on that, but then as we continue to talk, maybe 485 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 4: there's something else going on that I don't have the 486 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 4: appropriate training, and it would be more damaging for me 487 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 4: to kind of continue working with you as opposed to 488 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 4: referring you to somebody who does have training in whatever 489 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 4: the thing is. So I think when people are talking 490 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 4: about being fired, usually what has happened is that the 491 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 4: therapist feels like, Okay, I've maxed out on my skills 492 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 4: here and I don't know that I'm actually going to 493 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 4: be the best person to help you anymore. 494 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 1: Well, I think it's important to remember that there are 495 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 1: so many different types of therapy too. Like I had 496 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: a really successful experience with EMDR therapy, which involves this track, 497 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: this movement between your eyes and honestly it's kind of 498 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 1: magical and mystical. I don't know how to explain it, 499 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: but it helps you repackage and reprocess your trauma. There's 500 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: you know, attachment based therapy, there's cognitive behavioral therapy. How 501 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 1: do people figure out what is the best kind of 502 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: therapy for them? Like, where do you start in terms 503 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: of being your own best advocate. 504 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think when people see all of that, 505 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 4: it can be really overwhelming, especially if you're new to therapy. Now, 506 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 4: I think for people who are kind of therapy savvy, 507 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 4: maybe they work with therapists before they kind of know like, Okay, 508 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 4: I already tried cognitive behavioral and now I want to 509 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 4: try EMDR are something different. But I think as a 510 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 4: new person kind of coming into therapy, which you really 511 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 4: want to look at is do they have success helping 512 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,479 Speaker 4: people through whatever it is that you want them to 513 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 4: help you through, because there are lots of different ways 514 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 4: to get to healing, as we already talked about, right like, yeah, 515 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,199 Speaker 4: you know, the way I practice therapy may look very 516 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 4: different from the way that somebody practices emd R, but 517 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 4: that doesn't mean that you can't still get good results 518 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 4: regardless of. 519 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,720 Speaker 1: How we practice. We have to take another quick break, 520 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 1: but we'll be right back with doctor joy Hard and 521 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: Bradford and we're back. As much as we have normalized 522 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: this conversation around therapy and mental health, and you've been 523 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: a huge part of that, there are still some barriers 524 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: in the way. For a lot of people. Therapy can 525 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 1: be expensive. I know that in the past, when I 526 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: haven't been able to afford it, it's been easy to 527 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: be like, well, I guess I can't do therapy right now, 528 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: or I guess I can't even heal right now. What 529 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 1: are some practices that we can try by ourselves that 530 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: might be helpful in our healing process if therapy isn't 531 00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 1: on the table right now. 532 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 4: So I want to first just offer people some resources 533 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 4: because to your point, like you are correct that therapy 534 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,640 Speaker 4: can be very expensive, But there are lots of organizations 535 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,360 Speaker 4: that offer either vouchers for therapy or like half therapists 536 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:16,160 Speaker 4: who offers some of their sessions at a much discounted rate. 537 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 4: So the Loveland Foundation is a great organization that provides vouchers, 538 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 4: especially for women of color who are interested in therapy. 539 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,120 Speaker 4: The Open Path Collective is another organization that has therapists 540 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,440 Speaker 4: who offer their services at a sliding scale. I also 541 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 4: encourage people to make sure that you're looking at your benefits. 542 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 4: So if you are employed at a place that has 543 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 4: like an EAP program, sometimes you can get like six 544 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,400 Speaker 4: to eight, maybe even twelve sessions completely covered without even 545 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 4: having to use your insurance because your workplace participates in 546 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 4: an EAP program, So definitely make sure you check out 547 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,959 Speaker 4: those options if you do actually want to go to therapy. 548 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 4: But cost is an issue. But to your question around 549 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 4: like what kinds of things can we do otherwise to 550 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,919 Speaker 4: take care of our mental health. So the number one 551 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 4: one thing that I think that people overlook in terms 552 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 4: of taking care of their mental health is sleep. So 553 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 4: I think many of us are really not getting enough sleep, 554 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 4: or if we are getting sleep, it's not restorative, and 555 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 4: so paying attention to getting six to eight hours of 556 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 4: quality sleep every night can do. 557 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: Wonders for your mental health. 558 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 4: So having a good sleep hygiene routine, trying to go 559 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 4: to bed at the same time every night, waking up 560 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 4: at the same time in the morning, even on the weekends, 561 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 4: even though I know that's hard, but really getting your 562 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 4: body into that routine I think can really really be good. 563 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 4: Physical activity is also really good for our mental health. 564 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 4: So there's all this research that talks about the endorphins 565 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 4: and the serotonin that we really experience and like get 566 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 4: a boost from when we are just even doing light 567 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 4: physical activity. So just going for a walk or you know, 568 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 4: kind of brisk walk in your neighborhood or my favorite, 569 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 4: which is hula hooping in the middle of my kitchen, Like, 570 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 4: any kind of physical activity is really good for your 571 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 4: mental health. And then making sure that we are intentional 572 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,040 Speaker 4: about our social connection. So isolation and loneliness it's a 573 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 4: really big hindrance to our mental health, and so making 574 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 4: sure that we're staying connected to people, that we're letting 575 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 4: people know how we're doing, is a great way to 576 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 4: protect your mental health. Well to your point, sisterhood, friendship, 577 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 4: community can be completely life changing, and you wrote a 578 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 4: book all about that, Sisterhood Heals, a love letter to 579 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:26,680 Speaker 4: Black women and the transformative nature of sisterhood. What did 580 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 4: you discover as you were writing that book. I discovered 581 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 4: just how important black women have been to my life 582 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 4: and how important we typically are into each other's lives, right, 583 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 4: like in the book is really a celebration of who 584 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 4: we are to one another, but also an invitation to 585 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 4: how we can do that even better. I think, if 586 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 4: anything else that we have learned through the pandemic is 587 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 4: that the only way to get through difficult times is together. 588 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 4: And so the book is really a guide to how 589 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 4: we can do a better job of showing up for 590 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 4: one another. 591 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 1: Someone the other day was asking me about this quote 592 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: that I said, joy is a suit power, And the 593 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: only way that I could think to explain it was 594 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 1: really in the context of black women and the black 595 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:12,480 Speaker 1: women who raised me, and you know, seeing my auntie 596 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: who's still out a smile on her face even though 597 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: she was dealing with cancer, or my mom hosting these 598 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: magical gatherings and these like powerful times of connection even 599 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: though she was supporting my dad through his really difficult 600 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 1: health struggles. What does that phrase joy as a superpower 601 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: mean to you? 602 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, I appreciate you sharing those examples, and I think 603 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 4: joy is the thing that allows us to get through 604 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,120 Speaker 4: the more difficult times right now when the world feels 605 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 4: so difficult, so many tragedies, so much stress, and we 606 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 4: can feel guilty about even trying to connect with joy 607 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,239 Speaker 4: because it feels like that doesn't feel like a good 608 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 4: thing to do when so many bad things are happening. 609 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 4: But joy is really what allows you to continue to 610 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 4: show up for those times. It's what is restorative, it's 611 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 4: what refused us, and it's really important for us stay 612 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 4: connected to joyful things even despite difficult things happening in 613 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 4: the background. And so I think that that is another 614 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 4: mental health practice that we can, you know, incorporate into 615 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 4: our lives is to stay connected to joy and be 616 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 4: intentional about creating joyful experiences, even if it is just 617 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 4: going for a walk on the weekend or having a 618 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 4: nice couple of hot chalk with like, whatever those little 619 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 4: things are for you, making sure that you're adding that 620 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 4: to your schedule. 621 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 1: I want to end our conversation, doctor Joy by talking 622 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: about the results of therapy, because it's often hard to 623 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: predict how therapy is going to change us. I mean, 624 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 1: sometimes people make big life changes, they blow up their 625 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: lives after having these realizations and discoveries and therapy. And 626 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 1: then another side effect or byproduct of therapy that we 627 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: don't often talk about is that healing itself can be isolating. 628 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:55,040 Speaker 1: Sometimes those realizations and revelations that you have in therapy 629 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 1: are going to cause you to take action and perhaps 630 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: isolate yourself from people in your life for are toxic 631 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 1: and who are not a part of your healing. Can 632 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 1: you talk a little bit about what we can expect 633 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: from therapy, how it's going to change us. Yeah, I 634 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: mean I feel like you said a mouthful. 635 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 4: There's a moone because you're right, Like, sometimes we learn 636 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 4: things about ourselves about how our relationships to other people 637 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 4: actually are not in the best interests of our mental health, 638 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 4: and so we decide to maybe put some distance there. 639 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 4: But it also opens up your capacity to connect with 640 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 4: other people who may be a better fit for you. 641 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 1: Right. 642 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 4: It also allows you to develop a different kind of 643 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 4: support system that actually helps you to thrive as opposed 644 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 4: to limits your possibility. So I think that it can 645 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 4: mean that you are leaving some things behind, but it 646 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 4: also means that you are opening the door for lots 647 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 4: of incredible things. 648 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 1: But it can be painful, Like I. 649 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 4: Don't want to kind of override this idea that it 650 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 4: can be really difficult to kind of tear down all 651 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 4: these pieces that maybe are familiar, which is why many 652 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,719 Speaker 4: of us stay there because they're familiar, even if they 653 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 4: are not the healthiest for us. And it can be 654 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 4: differ to create space for something that is new, even 655 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 4: if it is healthier. And so part of what therapy 656 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,239 Speaker 4: will be is allowing you to build the resources and 657 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 4: build the support to support this life that is on 658 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,080 Speaker 4: the other side of therapy. And so typically when you're 659 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 4: working with your therapist, they are not going to take 660 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 4: something away from you without giving you something to replace it. 661 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 4: And so that's what therapy really is. It's about you 662 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 4: having a better idea of the patterns that you find 663 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 4: yourself in, as it relates to behaviors, as it relates 664 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,840 Speaker 4: to relationships, and then realizing and choosing to do something different. 665 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 1: How do we break those patterns? That's a million dollar question, right, 666 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: it really is. 667 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 4: And I think the first part is recognizing the patterns, right, 668 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 4: like when you realize, like, oh, I keep dating the 669 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 4: same person even though they look very different, they come 670 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,600 Speaker 4: from very different places. Like they're typically patterns that we 671 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 4: fall into in our lives, and sometimes we can't see 672 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 4: them because we're too close to it. And so I 673 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 4: think the first step is recognizing when you've gotten yourself 674 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 4: into a pattern and then also understanding like how that 675 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 4: pattern develops. And so for a lot of us, I 676 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,880 Speaker 4: think it's some childhood stuff, right, Like it is something 677 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 4: that we're trying to work through from our childhood, but 678 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,000 Speaker 4: we're working it out in real time with other people 679 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 4: in our lives, and so therapy really helps you to 680 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 4: recognize the pattern, understand why it's happening, and then put 681 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 4: some other things in place so that you don't keep 682 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 4: repeating that pattern. 683 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 1: Can I ask you a personal question, where are you 684 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,680 Speaker 1: in your healing journey? Because whenever I see or meet 685 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: a therapist, I'm like, oh, they're healed. They got to 686 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: figure out they graduated, they graduated. 687 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 4: Or absolutely not, absolutely not someone. So I think, you know, 688 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 4: most therapists who are self aware also have their own therapists. 689 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 4: So on Tuesdays at two o'clock, I am talking in 690 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 4: the virtual zoom room with my own therapist because I 691 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 4: think you realize, like every new phase of my life, 692 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 4: I have realized I've needed an additional level of support. 693 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 4: You know. I think in grad school, like I had 694 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,240 Speaker 4: like lots of imposter syndrome, and so I was talking 695 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 4: to my therapist about that, and recently entrepreneurship and like 696 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 4: writing the book, and like all of that has unlocked 697 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 4: all of these other like insecurities and like worries that 698 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 4: I didn't have language for before because they weren't things 699 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 4: that I was doing. And I'm the mother of two 700 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,839 Speaker 4: small boys eight and ten year olds, and so being 701 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,160 Speaker 4: a mother and like all the challenges they have as 702 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 4: they grow throughout their life also unlocks of these other 703 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 4: things for me, and so I find that as I 704 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 4: grow in life, as I you know, transition in into 705 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 4: different roles, I need different levels of support. So I'm 706 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 4: not at all one hundred percent healed, nor is any 707 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:33,720 Speaker 4: of us. 708 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 2: Well. 709 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 1: Doctor Joy, thank you so much for sharing the bright 710 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: side of therapy with us today. On the bright side, 711 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 1: You're welcome. This has been a pleasure. Doctor Joy Harden 712 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 1: Bradford is a licensed psychologist, speaker, and the host of 713 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,680 Speaker 1: the podcast Therapy for Black Girls, as well as the 714 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:58,240 Speaker 1: author of Sisterhood Heals, The Transformative Power of Healing in Community. 715 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 3: That's it for today's show. 716 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,840 Speaker 2: Tomorrow, we're keeping the mental health conversation going with Anna 717 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,479 Speaker 2: Marie Tenler. She's the author of the New York Times 718 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 2: bestseller men have called her crazy. Thank you to our 719 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,320 Speaker 2: partners at Coligard, the one of a kind way to 720 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,560 Speaker 2: screen for colon cancer in the privacy and comfort of 721 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 2: your own home. Talk to your doctor or healthcare provider, 722 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 2: or go to coliguard dot com slash podcast to see 723 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 2: if you are eligible to order online. If you're forty 724 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,040 Speaker 2: five or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider. 725 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,160 Speaker 3: About screening for colon cancer. With Coli Guard. 726 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 2: You can also request a col of Guard prescription today 727 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,440 Speaker 2: at coliguard dot com. 728 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:42,520 Speaker 1: Slash podcast, join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side 729 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 1: and connect with us on social media at Hello Sunshine 730 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:49,439 Speaker 1: on Instagram and at The bright Side Pod on TikTok oh, 731 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,880 Speaker 1: and feel free to tag us at Simone Boyce and 732 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,360 Speaker 1: at Danielle Robe. 733 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,800 Speaker 2: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, 734 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 735 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.