Speaker 1: Pushkin. So the other week I was staying in a
Speaker 1: hotel on Hollywood Boulevard for a few days. It was
Speaker 1: a fine hotel, if not a fine hotel. Its most
Speaker 1: compelling feature was the pool area, which looked exactly like
Speaker 1: how people think Hollywood looks. A shimmering blue roushak plot
Speaker 1: surrounded by lounge chairs, each holding a yellow and white
Speaker 1: striped towel rolled up like a Swiss cake made of
Speaker 1: terry cloth. Attractive staff flitted to and fro trays of
Speaker 1: champagne and potato chips. I was at a cafe by
Speaker 1: the pool, eating a salad. Shakespeare once described someone's youth
Speaker 1: as their salad days, a time of carefree innocence. But
Speaker 1: my salad days didn't begin until I reached middle age
Speaker 1: and realized if I didn't start pounding vegetables, my body
Speaker 1: would molt into a piece of uncooked dough. The sandwich
Speaker 1: days would be a better phrase for my care for youth.
Speaker 1: So there I was pool side, virtuously eating my raw vegetables,
Speaker 1: as well as reading a book. It was a novel
Speaker 1: about a formerly successful, newly middle aged man, recently single,
Speaker 1: who decides to travel to find himself. Yeah, if it
Speaker 1: had been a podcast, I'd have a copyright claim. Palm
Speaker 1: Trees Swede American songbook music dribbled out some invisible speakers.
Speaker 1: Two young couples entered the pool area, and they looked
Speaker 1: as if they were from Central Casting, which, considering this
Speaker 1: was LA, might have been the case. They were all slim, smiling,
Speaker 1: and wearing black bathing suits, the men in trunks, the
Speaker 1: women in bikinis. They called over the waiter and ordered
Speaker 1: a round of spritzes. I looked down at my long
Speaker 1: sleeved sweater and corduroy slacks, forked a tiddley wink of
Speaker 1: radish into my mouth and went back to my book.
Speaker 1: Earlier that day, I'd walked along Hollywood boulevards, concrete galaxy
Speaker 1: of stars floating amidst the Milky Way of celebrities for tourists,
Speaker 1: street merchants, and unhoused people. Soon I found myself in
Speaker 1: front of the famous Hollywood landmark, Gramin's Chinese Theater, built
Speaker 1: in nineteen twenty seven by Sid Grammin. Built to look
Speaker 1: like a Chinese pagoda, It's set back from the street
Speaker 1: and has kind of a courtyard outfront. The story goes
Speaker 1: that when they were completing construction on it. Sid was
Speaker 1: inspecting things with an actress who stepped into the wet
Speaker 1: pavement by mistake. Instead of getting upset, Sid got an idea.
Speaker 1: He decided he would invite celebrities to dip their hands
Speaker 1: and feet into the pavement on purpose, and it would
Speaker 1: serve as sort of a monument to Hollywood, the town
Speaker 1: that lined his pockets. So the area is covered with
Speaker 1: the feet and hands of the many famous Hollywood stars
Speaker 1: that have come before. You can see Shirley Temple's little feet.
Speaker 1: You can see Carrie Grants also kind of little feet.
Speaker 1: When I was there, I saw a German tourist try
Speaker 1: to fit her hand into scarlet to a Hanson's hand.
Speaker 1: If you look closely, you can see the Melbrook's right
Speaker 1: hand has an extra finger. The comedian secretly wore prosthetic
Speaker 1: when he pressed his hand into the wet concrete. But
Speaker 1: a keen observer would realize that for a place that's
Speaker 1: been around since nineteen twenty seven, there really aren't that
Speaker 1: many slabs, which is odd because stars have been dipping
Speaker 1: their extremities in the concrete at Grammins for nearly a century.
Speaker 1: It turns out the theater removes slabs of sidewalk from
Speaker 1: time to time when a celebrity star is faded, or
Speaker 1: if they just need space to make room for the
Speaker 1: new kid in town, then the imprints of the formerly
Speaker 1: famous are stored somewhere in the theater. I imagine that
Speaker 1: inside Grummins is a room filled with hands and footprints
Speaker 1: that looks like an archaeological dick stacks of concrete indentations
Speaker 1: of people who made their literal mark on the landscape
Speaker 1: of Hollywood and never imagined that the ground could be
Speaker 1: pulled out from under them and they would be replaced
Speaker 1: by someone else. Later, as I'm dutifully eating my salad
Speaker 1: poolside at the hotel, I noticed one of the women
Speaker 1: from the blackclad foursome emerged from the pool, and I
Speaker 1: noticed someone else watching her. It's a silver haired stranger
Speaker 1: who selected a lounge chair one seat away from the couples,
Speaker 1: despite the many other available chairs around the pool. He
Speaker 1: looks to be what would be called a silver fox,
Speaker 1: gray hair, lean tan body, his white teeth flashed in
Speaker 1: the sun. He smiles and appears to start talking to
Speaker 1: the woman, while she looks on with that kind of
Speaker 1: grimace of someone who doesn't want to be rude, but
Speaker 1: is thinking what's going on here? Finally, her partner stands
Speaker 1: up and puts his arm around her, and they turned
Speaker 1: back to the other couple. The fox keeps chatting with them,
Speaker 1: even though their body language their backs mostly turned towards
Speaker 1: him indicate that they'd rather he didn't. At last, he
Speaker 1: took a hint, stood up and jumped in the pool,
Speaker 1: did a lap, and returned to his lounge chair. I
Speaker 1: closed my book. As I returned to my room, I
Speaker 1: walked by the couples and the silver Fox, and that's
Speaker 1: when I recognized him. He was an actor who started
Speaker 1: Who's the Boss, one of the most popular sitcoms of
Speaker 1: the eighties. When I was a kid, it was on
Speaker 1: all the time, and yet that hit shows last season
Speaker 1: was in nineteen ninety two, which is probably before the
Speaker 1: couple he'd been chatting with We're even born to them.
Speaker 1: He was just a guy interrupting their pool day. As
Speaker 1: I passed, I noticed the footprints he'd made stepping out
Speaker 1: of the pool, evaporating in the sun. All that is
Speaker 1: to say that novel I was reading by the pool
Speaker 1: really good. It was called Less. It won a Pulitzer
Speaker 1: and today I'm gonna be talking with the author. I'm
Speaker 1: Brendan Francis Newnham. This is Not Lost, and I'll be
Speaker 1: right back after this break. Welcome back to episode one
Speaker 1: of Not Lost Chat, my series of conversations with fellow travelers.
Speaker 1: I'm Brendan Francis Nunham, audio producer, journalist, dinner freeloader, and
Speaker 1: for the next half dozen or so episodes, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be doing something a little bit different. I will
Speaker 1: be in a studio speaking with writers, musicians, actors, and
Speaker 1: others about their journeys. Someday in the future I'll be
Speaker 1: out in the field going on more journeys on my own.
Speaker 1: But until then, we have this to enjoy. Also, since
Speaker 1: so many of you have been asking me for practical
Speaker 1: travel information, which if you've listened to the show, I
Speaker 1: clearly don't have a lot of. In each of these episodes,
Speaker 1: I've invited a frequent traveler of some renown. We will
Speaker 1: help answer your questions. But first, about that book I
Speaker 1: was reading by the pool in Hollywood. Less is named
Speaker 1: after its protagonist, Arthur Less, who is a mildly successful
Speaker 1: author who was surprised to find himself middle aged and
Speaker 1: a Drift. The author of Less is Andrew shown Grier,
Speaker 1: who coincidentally, I'm sure is also a novelist and travel
Speaker 1: writer probably definitely not a drift. After he won a
Speaker 1: Poulter for Less, he wrote a sequel called Less is Lost,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to talk with him about these books.
Speaker 1: So I decided to reach out Andrew Shan Greer, thanks
Speaker 1: for green to chat with me. I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1: And also it seems like a perfect fit for maybe
Speaker 1: able to be on this podcast. It, I mean, it
Speaker 1: really is in fact, so I'm not to be a
Speaker 1: modest but you know, recently New York Magazine named Not
Speaker 1: Lost one of the best podcasts of twenty twenty two,
Speaker 1: and in the review describing Not Losses said, quote kind
Speaker 1: of has the slight energy of Andrew Shong Grier's Less,
Speaker 1: But let's not oversell it. What right I think that?
Speaker 1: To make you read that correctly? I think I think
Speaker 1: I think I was nagged by the reporter. But anyway,
Speaker 1: nonetheless he piqued my interest. But yes, for better or worse,
Speaker 1: I feel like the journey I took on this show,
Speaker 1: at least for season one, mirrored that of your part
Speaker 1: agonist Arthur lest Essentially, you know, he's a mildly successful
Speaker 1: novelist in the throes of middle age who in the
Speaker 1: first book goes on a journey to avoid the agony
Speaker 1: of attending the marriage of his ex boyfriend. And yes,
Speaker 1: all that does, except for the last part, sound eerily familiar.
Speaker 1: And in the first book he goes from San Francisco
Speaker 1: to New York to Mexico City, to Berlin, to Paris,
Speaker 1: to Morocco and then India. And in the most recent
Speaker 1: book he's in need of money and he ends up
Speaker 1: traveling around the US. And so I guess, just stepping
Speaker 1: way back, why is Arthur Less always traveling? I would
Speaker 1: say it started off as a very practical reason, which
Speaker 1: is that I was in order to make a buck,
Speaker 1: because I'm just a novelist. I was pitching myself as
Speaker 1: a travel writer, and I would pitch ideas to in
Speaker 1: flight magazines for United and stuff like that. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I was already finding myself traveling around. And I was
Speaker 1: working on a novel about a sad, sack, middle aged
Speaker 1: game a man in San Francisco, and the novel was
Speaker 1: just a drag and I thought, what if I make
Speaker 1: him travel? What if I have memories of travel because
Speaker 1: I have all these notes, because if you're a travel
Speaker 1: writer or sitting alone in a restaurant in Saigon for
Speaker 1: hours just writing down what dog walks in, And so
Speaker 1: I thought, I will, I'll use my notes. And I
Speaker 1: enjoyed writing the travels so much that I ditched the
Speaker 1: other part of the novel and I made it a
Speaker 1: comedy about him traveling and it was great fun. And
Speaker 1: I started pitching ideas to fit the novel, not to
Speaker 1: fit where I wanted to go. Yeah, can we talk
Speaker 1: about that for a moment, because, as you just said,
Speaker 1: to help support your creative writing, you work as a
Speaker 1: travel writer. In other words, it's a job. Yeah. Now
Speaker 1: I'm someone who's done some travel writing. I have a
Speaker 1: travel show, and I find that my friends and people
Speaker 1: I meet often forget the fact that it's actually work.
Speaker 1: Does that happen to you? Like, I feel like people
Speaker 1: think it's all Margarita's and cha cha cha. Yeah. People
Speaker 1: people get very envious of my being able to travel.
Speaker 1: But I will tell them like, well, like I just
Speaker 1: took a trip to Australia and I was there for
Speaker 1: three days and then I flew back, And that sounds
Speaker 1: fun to people, and I know how to enjoy it,
Speaker 1: but it is madness, you know. And I'm still suffering
Speaker 1: the jet leg from that for three days in Australia.
Speaker 1: And it was, you know, the first time I went
Speaker 1: to Japan, in fact to research for Less, I was
Speaker 1: only in Kyoto for four days, and you can't do
Speaker 1: very much, especially if you're having to gather information about
Speaker 1: three hotels and five restaurants in that time. You can't
Speaker 1: do much else but eat the same meal five times
Speaker 1: in a row and sleep in very similar hotels. So
Speaker 1: you have to get used to that tedium. You mentioned
Speaker 1: that you drew from your notebook in many of Arthur's misadventures.
Speaker 1: So what about the most recent book, where Less is
Speaker 1: traveling across the United States. As I understand it, you
Speaker 1: yourself also drove across the United States in an RV.
Speaker 1: Kind of things occurred on your journey that ended up
Speaker 1: making it in the book. Yeah. I took two different
Speaker 1: RV trips. One was like a big Cruise America RV
Speaker 1: through the Southwest, and the second was these handmade little
Speaker 1: camper vans this guy makes out of Atlanta. What never
Speaker 1: made it in was when I would get the story
Speaker 1: of the diner cook who would tell me your life story.
Speaker 1: I didn't put anything like that in, but I would
Speaker 1: put in things like when I went to a rural
Speaker 1: bar outside of Muscle Show's, Alabama and it was kind
Speaker 1: of like a Peewee Herman movie where I walk in
Speaker 1: and the jukebox stops and everyone stares at me. I
Speaker 1: put that down verbatim in the novel because I thought
Speaker 1: it was so funny. I did not belong in that
Speaker 1: bar and they were awfully nice to me. Well, you
Speaker 1: allude to this a little bit in Definitely Less is Lost.
Speaker 1: But you know, traveling across the United States as a
Speaker 1: gay man is I'm assuming different than it was for
Speaker 1: me as just a straight white guy. First of all,
Speaker 1: I was saying, I don't think it's different at all.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about you, but I bet the
Speaker 1: awkwardness of feeling foreign in your own country is something
Speaker 1: a lot of people share, and that it's most apparent
Speaker 1: for me that people can sense something different about me,
Speaker 1: but they can't quit put their finger on it. And
Speaker 1: that's what happened when I showed up at the RV
Speaker 1: park and there was a woman who said, now you're
Speaker 1: not from here are you? And I said I was
Speaker 1: from Maryland and she said, now, I thought you're from
Speaker 1: the Netherlands. There was just something about me she couldn't
Speaker 1: quite name that was not what she would call American,
Speaker 1: and I knew what it was. But that was actually
Speaker 1: the real surprise to me going around is that as
Speaker 1: much as I dressed myself up in Walmart when I
Speaker 1: thought was straight guyed clothing, everybody knew I was gay yea,
Speaker 1: whether they knew that's what they were talking about or not.
Speaker 1: And it was not dangerous for me. Yeah. So maybe
Speaker 1: stepping back to Arthur, and I guess I am asking
Speaker 1: this about you too, Like what is the appeal of travel?
Speaker 1: I think it's two things, and I don't share necessarily
Speaker 1: both of them. One is the sense of being wrong
Speaker 1: all the time. And if you are wrong at home
Speaker 1: all the time about like how to order a bagel,
Speaker 1: you're kind of like a loser. But when you travel,
Speaker 1: being wrong is like the name of the game, Like
Speaker 1: that's part of the experience, is to challenge yourself with
Speaker 1: There are other ways to get onto a subway or
Speaker 1: the different people around the world have a different idea
Speaker 1: of what a sidewalk is you start to realize that
Speaker 1: it's arbitrary the system you thought should always be in place,
Speaker 1: and that's eye opening and liberating because if you make mistakes,
Speaker 1: that's normal. Yeah, so that's good for him. He is
Speaker 1: a character who is utterly innocent about the sort of
Speaker 1: dangers of the world or the problems he himself is causing.
Speaker 1: And then at the end of each he keeps choosing
Speaker 1: doubling down on innocence. You know, like, the next town
Speaker 1: is going to be better. I'm going to get it
Speaker 1: right this time. I'm sure. I'm sure it's going to improve,
Speaker 1: which I found really sweet to write about and which
Speaker 1: I think is part of travel too. You're like, well,
Speaker 1: let's try the next town. You know, who knows what's
Speaker 1: going to happen there. I consider travel kind of the
Speaker 1: laziest form of learning in that sense too, where you
Speaker 1: arrive in a place and just waking up, getting breakfast,
Speaker 1: getting somewhere, getting a cup of coffee. You're learning all across,
Speaker 1: you know, just by survival, because you know you're in
Speaker 1: a different place. You might be a better traveler than
Speaker 1: I am, though I already have that sense that I
Speaker 1: am quite incompetent at those but I agree it's it's
Speaker 1: a great learning experience. Now, when I've done traditional travel writing,
Speaker 1: I've found that the frame is too limiting, like you
Speaker 1: have to leave out all the stuff that's the best
Speaker 1: part of traveling. Oh yeah, random meeting of people, Yeah
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, misadventures, romance, whatever. And when I was making
Speaker 1: this show, I tried to make it in a way
Speaker 1: where I could include all of that stuff. And I'm
Speaker 1: wondering if you kind of viewed your novels in a
Speaker 1: similar fashion, like that they were a place you could
Speaker 1: open up about what it's really like to go somewhere.
Speaker 1: I think you're totally right. Like I in the books,
Speaker 1: I don't have to put in every restaurant that I've
Speaker 1: been assigned, or sit down with the manager for two
Speaker 1: hours as they take you on a hotel to where
Speaker 1: you're never going to put in the article, you know,
Speaker 1: all those really important parts when they need a sidebar
Speaker 1: of like you know, five places to get a great
Speaker 1: bond me in ho Chi Min City. I didn't have
Speaker 1: to do that for the book, but for less everything
Speaker 1: else got put into the book because you're right, you
Speaker 1: can't put things that are too personal. So when you're
Speaker 1: you know this is your second this is the follow
Speaker 1: up to Less. When you're touring for these books or
Speaker 1: people are talking about them, why do you think they
Speaker 1: enjoy them so much? I people tell me. I can
Speaker 1: only report what people tell me. They find them to
Speaker 1: be like a big, warm hug, that's what everyone says. Now.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I wrote them as a hug,
Speaker 1: but I do think that it's because I'm not making
Speaker 1: fun of the places I'm going to. They're not cruel.
Speaker 1: People are, especially after being trapped inside so much that
Speaker 1: they're enjoying this sort of fantasy of travel as trouble,
Speaker 1: where everything certainly is going to turn out okay. Because
Speaker 1: I think in a comedy you have there's a tacit
Speaker 1: understanding with the author that it's not funny unless it
Speaker 1: turns out okay. So we're going to laugh assuming that's
Speaker 1: how it's going to be, and when you're actually traveling,
Speaker 1: you're not sure that's how it's going to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's where the panic comes in. Like these books aren't
Speaker 1: simply hugs, Like they contain a certain amount of pathos.
Speaker 1: Arthur is a little heartbroken and a drift. You know,
Speaker 1: he's single at middle age, while most of his friends
Speaker 1: are in couples. And actually, on that point in particular,
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Yeah, absolutely, How would
Speaker 1: you describe the difference between traveling when single versus traveling
Speaker 1: while in a relationship. Oooh, that is a juicy question.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I get in there and that liberty
Speaker 1: to answer that fully. Well, they're definitely very different. I
Speaker 1: think when you're single, you're looking for an experience. You
Speaker 1: have the kind of person you would never meet anywhere else,
Speaker 1: and you might find that if you're open to it
Speaker 1: in these in these in places where you go, you're
Speaker 1: open to it. But if you're not single, it's you
Speaker 1: have it. You're open to something different, which is that
Speaker 1: you can't sit at a bar and just talk with
Speaker 1: the locals for hours because you're not trying to pick
Speaker 1: anyone up. Yeah, but so you're never going to get
Speaker 1: that intimate pillow talk from around the world, but you
Speaker 1: do get the bud light talk. Each is different. They
Speaker 1: both had their pros and columns. Yeah, I also think
Speaker 1: I've done both, and I do feel like traveling for
Speaker 1: better worse is a little bit of a narcotic in
Speaker 1: that you're on you know, it is a little bit fantasy,
Speaker 1: and part of the allure is that anything can happen,
Speaker 1: whereas when you're with someone, even if they're not with you,
Speaker 1: there is a ballast, which is a good thing but
Speaker 1: also changes the experience. Couldn't you get close enough to
Speaker 1: the fire where there's a little vibration of possibility and
Speaker 1: you're like, actually, I don't have to push the button.
Speaker 1: I can't push the button, so I don't have to,
Speaker 1: but I can just still imagine what might have happened.
Speaker 1: Good Night, everybody, you know, well, Andy, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming to chat with me, and thanks for
Speaker 1: making these books. They're they're just wonderful and inspiring me
Speaker 1: to want to go hit the road for me too,
Speaker 1: And I've just left the road. Thanks so much for
Speaker 1: chatting with me today. Thank you for having me. Andrew
Speaker 1: Sean Greer's most recent book is called Less's Lost. I
Speaker 1: saw it at the airport when I was returning from
Speaker 1: la which to me that means you've made it. Forget
Speaker 1: the Pulitzer. If they're selling your book next to the
Speaker 1: neck Pillows and Peanut M and M's, you are a
Speaker 1: popular author. And speaking of airports, it's almost time for
Speaker 1: us to talk about the less sexy parts of traveling.
Speaker 1: So after a quick break, comedian and master of impressions,
Speaker 1: Jay Farrow channels a former president to help me answer
Speaker 1: some of your travel questions. If I'm sitting in the
Speaker 1: seat and the person beside me is acting our rate,
Speaker 1: I'm going to call a flight attendant before I stick
Speaker 1: my size thirteen foot up there, tiny ass, not lost,
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. So I asked some of you
Speaker 1: to send me travel etiquete questions via my small but
Speaker 1: mighty social media channels. BF Newnham on Twitter. Thank you,
Speaker 1: I asked because during my recent excursion to La I
Speaker 1: realized that I've kind of forgotten how to be with
Speaker 1: other people in public, specifically in airports, in shuttles, in hotels. Anyway,
Speaker 1: you gave me some great questions, and today I have
Speaker 1: actor and comedian Jay Farrow here to answer some of them.
Speaker 1: Jay is best known as being that guy on Saturday
Speaker 1: Night Live who did amazing impressions of Barack Obama, Kendrick Lamar,
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart, and countless others. He has gone on to
Speaker 1: work on a number of TV shows and movies, including Unsane, White, Famous,
Speaker 1: and most recently comedy centrals out of office, and he
Speaker 1: also does stand up, which is where he started. And
Speaker 1: he's currently on tour all over the world, which means
Speaker 1: he's traveling a lot. And Jay, welcome, glad you're here.
Speaker 1: Tell me how do you feel about all this traveling.
Speaker 1: It's only a pain in the ass if I have
Speaker 1: to ride air lines because they're trash. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean. They really not a good airline. It was
Speaker 1: messed up. That was so bad. One time I ended
Speaker 1: up getting the mechanical problems and um, we took off
Speaker 1: from Texas and then we got stuck in Portland and
Speaker 1: my destination was Virginia, Like what, why do we go back?
Speaker 1: Why do we go back here? Yeah, that's the wrong direction. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I like it when it's a straight flight, and I
Speaker 1: like when I have my bag. That's the only listen.
Speaker 1: As long as I can get my bag back. I'm
Speaker 1: good man, because I got oils and stuff in there
Speaker 1: that I need for my hair, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I've got I've got essentials that I need for the
Speaker 1: Jay Ferrell package. Are you a carry on guy or
Speaker 1: you or check? I got? I have so much stuff
Speaker 1: I have to check in check. I'm a check in guy.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's underrated frankly because you once you
Speaker 1: drop off your big bag, It's like life is a
Speaker 1: lot easier when you're gonna in and around the airport. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I got a question. Do you fit when you travel?
Speaker 1: Do you still put your mask on? Because I kind
Speaker 1: of feel like the only sub zero out here? What
Speaker 1: do you mean by sub era that you do wear
Speaker 1: your mask? Yeah? I wear my mask. I The only
Speaker 1: reason I don't recently is because I had COVID, So
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in that sixty day window where
Speaker 1: I get to like do whatever I want. You know,
Speaker 1: even if the pandemic didn't exist. A mask in an airplane,
Speaker 1: isn't it bad? I don't like like being so close
Speaker 1: to all these strangers in the recycled error me neither.
Speaker 1: I still do a social distancing. I'm like your backup
Speaker 1: six feet or I'm a stone Coast stunning, stone Coat stunning.
Speaker 1: Is that is that a move? Like? What is that move? Oh?
Speaker 1: You don't even know. It's a wrestling move from the
Speaker 1: Attitude era WWF. Stone Coast. Steve Auston does this thing
Speaker 1: where he flicks you off, he kicks you and he
Speaker 1: grabs your neck with his arm and like go like
Speaker 1: this and my knees hit the ground and you bounce
Speaker 1: up and do a flip. That that doesn't seem like something,
Speaker 1: um that would be acceptable in an airport. Jay, you
Speaker 1: don't think it. You don't think it is. Well, I
Speaker 1: think I should try it and report back to you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think I should do it. Yeah, let me know.
Speaker 1: Do you get recognized at airport? It's like do people
Speaker 1: come up to you and do the thing? You know what? Man?
Speaker 1: Even with a mask on, I get recognized. It just
Speaker 1: it blows my mind. I'm like, how the hell do
Speaker 1: you know? Like my nose is covered, how do you
Speaker 1: know who I am? And then looking at them, it's
Speaker 1: I think it's just the eyes. It was the eyes
Speaker 1: of the window window to the soul right. Like I'm
Speaker 1: just chilling and people still come up to me, and
Speaker 1: its just like Jack, I'm like, oh, I got a
Speaker 1: mask on, I fist bumped you. It's like seventies all
Speaker 1: day with me? Hey, what up? Brother? You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying? Because I easily get sick, Like for instance,
Speaker 1: I was I traveled to Raleigh on North Carolina. I
Speaker 1: got sick. I got sick because this dude he was
Speaker 1: his hand. He came up to me and I normally like,
Speaker 1: I said, I like doing this, but he wouldn't take
Speaker 1: this for an answer, and so I like, I took
Speaker 1: him and I gave him my hand, and his hand
Speaker 1: was so freaking sweaty. Up, it was slipping, slick hand sweaty.
Speaker 1: So I touched. I was like, oh god, I'm sitting
Speaker 1: and I'm and I don't even know if it was
Speaker 1: from him. Yeah, but I got sick that following day.
Speaker 1: All right, well, look it sounds like you are. You're
Speaker 1: well traveled on tour, so you're perfectly prepared to help
Speaker 1: our audience. They submitted some traveling questions. Okay, can you
Speaker 1: help us with these? Absolutely what we're doing, all right.
Speaker 1: So the first question comes from Lee, and the question
Speaker 1: is what's a polite way to let a chatty seat
Speaker 1: neighbor on a plane know that you're not in the
Speaker 1: mood to talk. Oh oh wow wow, just um admit conversation.
Speaker 1: Just look at them and just put your head down
Speaker 1: like this. So look at them and close your eyes
Speaker 1: and fall asleep while they're talking. In yep, that's exactly
Speaker 1: what you do. Because and I feel like that's so yo, bro, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, I have put my headphones on, right, why
Speaker 1: are you trying to talk to me? I have put
Speaker 1: them on. You watched me put them on. Read the
Speaker 1: room broad Yeah, you know, if you could, I would
Speaker 1: love to hear how Kevin Hart might react if someone
Speaker 1: started to talk to him like this on an airplane. Listen,
Speaker 1: God damn it, listen, listen. I'm not on this. I'm
Speaker 1: not sitting here to talk to you. Listen. I've had
Speaker 1: I've had a very rough, long, long shooting day. I'm
Speaker 1: not here to talk. Listen. I should be on a
Speaker 1: private jet. I don't understand why the hell I am
Speaker 1: on frontier airlines. I don't even know, fam, I don't
Speaker 1: know why I'm up here. Listen, Listen, this wappen, This wappen.
Speaker 1: I have mechanical problems and a plane couldn't take off,
Speaker 1: couldn't get another to seat. Everything was sold out to
Speaker 1: the only damn option. So I need you to shut
Speaker 1: the hell up and let me sleep. God damn it,
Speaker 1: that is uncanny. All right, I think we got the answer.
Speaker 1: I will say addendum to that, we're just as equally
Speaker 1: as bad as when you're in the aisle seat. You're
Speaker 1: finally situated, you got your headphones, your bag, maybe your
Speaker 1: books out, every you know, you kind of checked around,
Speaker 1: and then they want to go to the bathroom. Oh man,
Speaker 1: it's like after your table's down, after the drink is out.
Speaker 1: It's like we had this whole twenty minute pre am,
Speaker 1: but you could have gone. But now I'm sure your
Speaker 1: bladder was was was on fun percent, but not now
Speaker 1: it's old. It's one hundred point one. I have to
Speaker 1: get up, Like, come on, broxactly exactly do you do you?
Speaker 1: Are you the person that gets up? Or do you
Speaker 1: just take your feet and just move move in a
Speaker 1: seat like this, I stay in the seat and I
Speaker 1: just move my feet to the side and let them walk.
Speaker 1: I can't do that, but I might give a look
Speaker 1: of I might do an exhalation, like throw my headphones down,
Speaker 1: slam up the table, and then stand there and just
Speaker 1: not look them in the eye. This shit. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what. That doesn't do anybody any good,
Speaker 1: but I do it anyone? All right? We got another question.
Speaker 1: This one comes from the shell from State College, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: So our question is when checking into a hotel Is
Speaker 1: it acceptable to lie about a special occasion to try
Speaker 1: to get a room upgrade? Why or why not? Um?
Speaker 1: I feel like if you want to have fun with
Speaker 1: your partner, like sometimes you might do that. You know,
Speaker 1: you just be hey, you know this is such and
Speaker 1: such as bird. Oh it's a special occasion where you
Speaker 1: can't say birthday because they got your license. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. What they look down like, Wait a second,
Speaker 1: Wait a second. It's just your birthdays in August. It
Speaker 1: can't be anything sprasial. You have to But if you say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's our anniversary or something like that, or you know somebody,
Speaker 1: we just got a job promotion and something like, I
Speaker 1: don't think anything's wrong with that. I mean, if you're
Speaker 1: just trying to you know, I think like concierge's are
Speaker 1: one of the few people in modern capitalism that have
Speaker 1: the ability to upgrade you or not. Right Like, they
Speaker 1: have a bunch of rooms, they know who's filling them
Speaker 1: up or not, and they have a little bit of latitude.
Speaker 1: So why not pour on the charm a little bit,
Speaker 1: give them a little wink. I think I think it's fun,
Speaker 1: That's what I say. I mean, even like when you
Speaker 1: go into restaurants sometime. Now you can use the birthday
Speaker 1: thing at restaurants. And then my sister went into one
Speaker 1: restaurant and had a birthday five times in the span
Speaker 1: of two and a half months. They were like, wait
Speaker 1: a minute's birthday again. I feel sorry for the people
Speaker 1: who have to sing the song. Yeah, like at the restaurant,
Speaker 1: because you know, like they will be in the middle
Speaker 1: of some doing some other shit and they gotta drop
Speaker 1: everything they're doing to come out saying happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1: Fucking hands are hurting, hands are hurting, You're exhausted, You're
Speaker 1: like just broke up with Kennedy the dishwasher, and now
Speaker 1: you're gonna singing a happy birthday, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to do no, I'm not singing no. All right, So
Speaker 1: this is our last question, uh, and maybe you can
Speaker 1: answer this as former President Barack Obama, And the question
Speaker 1: is when is it okay to push the flight attendant
Speaker 1: call button? Like what need qualifies as urgent enough to
Speaker 1: push it? What would make you push it? Well, if
Speaker 1: I'm if I'm sitting in the seat and the person
Speaker 1: beside me um is acting, I rate irrascible. What I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do is Um, I'm gonna call flight attendant before
Speaker 1: I stick my size thirteen foot up there kind of
Speaker 1: ass And that's when you call him when you have
Speaker 1: a problem. If you have a problem with the seat
Speaker 1: or you can't get the seat belt out the them
Speaker 1: and the buckle is caught in the back and you
Speaker 1: don't want to touch that because it's COVID down there,
Speaker 1: so you don't want to get it, so you want
Speaker 1: them to get it for you. So you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: you put your hands down there and you get my
Speaker 1: belt because I'm not gonna get COVID. You are ensured
Speaker 1: by Belta me I'm not. So they might have Obamacare,
Speaker 1: though they might have Obamacare. I mean I think Trump
Speaker 1: pretty much, uh, try to get that shit out of it. So, um,
Speaker 1: you know they might have it, but it's it's not
Speaker 1: active if they do, right, Jay, do you want to
Speaker 1: imitate my voice and say goodbye to Jay Farah? Thanks
Speaker 1: for coming on to not lost. Um you know, I'm
Speaker 1: i pot rose with my impressions. They're not microwavable, so
Speaker 1: that's not that ain't fair enough? Well, look, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming by. Good luck at the rest
Speaker 1: of your tour. If anyone sees Jay farre on the airport,
Speaker 1: do not approach him. It's just just stay six feet
Speaker 1: away or I will stone cold stun your punk ass. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was Jay Farrow, honest, it was not someone impersonating
Speaker 1: Jay Farrow, I promise you. Which come to think of it,
Speaker 1: he could totally make a bundle just impersonating other people
Speaker 1: for podcasts. So if you hear Barack Obama on a
Speaker 1: future episode of the show, you are right to be suspicious.
Speaker 1: If you have travel questions that you one answered in
Speaker 1: a future episode, you can email them to me at
Speaker 1: not Lost at Pushkin dot fm or ping me at
Speaker 1: b F Newnham on Twitter. Not Lost Chat could not
Speaker 1: have been made without ACE producer Jordan Belly, who honestly
Speaker 1: travels a lot more than me, so maybe she should
Speaker 1: be hosting this. The show is written and hosted by
Speaker 1: me Brendan Francis Nunham. We receive top notch booking assistance
Speaker 1: from Laura Morgan, who always has the nicest zoom background around. Laura,
Speaker 1: please book your interior designer for me some day. This
Speaker 1: episode was edited by the Great Julia Barton with assistance
Speaker 1: from our managing producer Jacob Smith, our mix engineer who
Speaker 1: has the patience of job is the unflappable Sarah Brugere
Speaker 1: Not Lost as a co production of Pushkin Industries, Topic
Speaker 1: Studios and iHeartMedia. It was developed at Topic Studios and
Speaker 1: in case you're wondering, this show has some executive producers
Speaker 1: including me Brendan, Francis Nunham, Christy Gressman, Maria Zuckerman, Lisa
Speaker 1: lang Gang and Lata Mulad. If you dig what you here,
Speaker 1: please tell a friend to make a comment at Apple Podcast,
Speaker 1: get a tattoo, whatever it takes to spread the word,
Speaker 1: it's appreciated. And if your inboxes lonely, you can sign
Speaker 1: up for the Pushkin newsletter at Pushkin dot fm, slash
Speaker 1: Newsletter and to find more pushin podcasts. And I really
Speaker 1: mean this, there are some pretty great podcasts bipping and
Speaker 1: bopping around here these days. You can listen and find
Speaker 1: them on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or you know
Speaker 1: where wherever you listen to podcasts. That is all for
Speaker 1: this episode. Thanks everybody. We'll definitely do Robbie Downey Junior Listen, Listen.
Speaker 1: It's it's just bro It's so arduous when you sit
Speaker 1: down beside somebody and they're just you know, falling asleep,
Speaker 1: and they're spitting all over your arm, and you know
Speaker 1: you're just like, you know, I don't want your DNA
Speaker 1: or me, And and what you're what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: You're gonna stone close, stun them