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Speaker 1: Oh, my God's name, we try to get me. I

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Speaker 1: think you should tell the listeners what you just told me,

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Speaker 1: because then you're probably going to get a lot of

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Speaker 1: people slide in your d M s. God, should I

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Speaker 1: do cameo? I'm gonna need cameo if I do that.

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Speaker 1: We quit. That was not a good idea. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: quit came out. Um, I was just telling Kelly's story

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Speaker 1: that I got a d M. Wait, let me just

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Speaker 1: give a shout out if I'm going to tell the story.

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Speaker 1: Lord wasn't prepared, Susan. I'm like, why do this to yourself? Literally?

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Speaker 1: Just our listener, Nikki Um and she had seen a

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Speaker 1: story that was it was a like a oh, it

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Speaker 1: was like a burrito being rolled at chipot you know

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Speaker 1: they stuff them stuff. And it said feels sexual. But

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like you mean it's sexual, but something

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Speaker 1: about the way you're telling it feels sexual. I mean

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Speaker 1: it was like they do stuff these burritos, but against you.

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Speaker 1: Just remember dot dot dot. And she was like, this

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Speaker 1: makes me think about casual because I think I talked

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Speaker 1: over you. Um, when the odds are stacked against you,

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Speaker 1: just remember dot dot dot. And she said this reminds

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Speaker 1: me about casual. I love listening to you and Kelly

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Speaker 1: or something like that. So I just I responded center

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Speaker 1: a voicetown. I just read I just said act casual.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, oh my god, this made my week,

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Speaker 1: he felt because telling the story. But it actually made

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Speaker 1: my day so right, And you have to just I

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Speaker 1: feel like you have to embrace it a little more

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Speaker 1: because you get like this too when people stop you

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Speaker 1: in public and you're like, oh my god, I feel

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Speaker 1: so I'm so nervous or whatever. Lean in. The people

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Speaker 1: love you. I mean, Chip is back in Canada. I

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Speaker 1: mean literally, are you moving there? Like what's happening? Might

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Speaker 1: get dual citizen ship. I should figure out. I should

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Speaker 1: look up how to apply for it. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: they let you in. I feel like Canada's are stricked

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Speaker 1: on the COVID well, I mean it is really strict.

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Speaker 1: So I'm in the Ontario province, I'm in Niagara Falls

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Speaker 1: and they are on lockdown again and uh, we're shooting.

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Speaker 1: Canada's got talent. And I think Lindsay and I might

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Speaker 1: be the only people staying in this hotel. It is

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Speaker 1: so weird, like there's no front desk workers. The front

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Speaker 1: door locks, and thirty were not allowed to leave or

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Speaker 1: we can't get back in. Um they there's only two

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Speaker 1: days a week that you can request to have your

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Speaker 1: room cleaned. So like when we got here, I've got

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Speaker 1: like five bars of soap, tons of shampoo, lots of

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Speaker 1: trash bags, like I can put trash outside of my

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Speaker 1: door and some magical ferry picks it up for in

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Speaker 1: the day. But like it's weird, Like I haven't seen

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Speaker 1: another person at the elevator near the elevator in the elevator.

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Speaker 1: It's and there's there's thirty two floors in this hotel.

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Speaker 1: It's a big hotel. You're like, what's that movie with

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Speaker 1: Macaulay Culkin where he lives? I mean, I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's like some movie with a kid who lives in

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Speaker 1: a hotel. If you guys know when you're listening, please

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Speaker 1: email us because our d m me whatever because I

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Speaker 1: cannot remember there. It's like Richie rich or did I

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Speaker 1: make this up? Um? No? I feel like, should I

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Speaker 1: write this movie about chick who lives in the Canadian

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Speaker 1: boy finds an orangutang in a hotel that's called Dustin Checks.

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Speaker 1: Heead Where did you find that? Just just googled movie

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Speaker 1: kid Lives in Hotel. Wow, there's the Florida Project. We

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Speaker 1: don't I don't think we really have to find this.

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Speaker 1: One of our listeners will will know way more than

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Speaker 1: we do about this movie. So somebody please let us

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Speaker 1: know what it is. Um we are here, speaking of

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Speaker 1: the listeners. The reason I wanted to tell you that

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Speaker 1: story is because obviously we're here this week. Did you

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Speaker 1: listener emails? So I'll give you that, I'll give you

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Speaker 1: and if anyone else wants a voice in it from

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Speaker 1: Chip doesn't are free now that we're not on came

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Speaker 1: Do you know that I did not know that Instagram

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Speaker 1: does voice notes, and I got one this week from

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Speaker 1: another listener actually, and uh, well she was she's a listener,

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Speaker 1: but she also was at the conference I went to,

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Speaker 1: but we never crossed paths, and so she was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you're you were at this conference too,

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Speaker 1: and she sent me all this voice note about like

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Speaker 1: her experience. I was like, oh my god, you can

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Speaker 1: do that. Well, I this is the first time I've

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Speaker 1: ever done it. And I will warn you that you

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Speaker 1: know on your iPhone if you want to do a

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Speaker 1: voice that you can listen to it before it sends,

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Speaker 1: and this one when you stop recording, it just goes

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Speaker 1: yeah better better what you want to say? Wow? Um,

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Speaker 1: as people, I had a missed call on my Instagram

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Speaker 1: from my friends. Yeah, so if anyone wants to talk

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Speaker 1: to Chip, you guys should just call on on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I think we I think you have to be following

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Speaker 1: each other. Oh each other. Yeah, I think you both

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Speaker 1: have call each other. I'm just trying to slide your

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Speaker 1: d ms with weird stuff. I mean, try calling me,

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Speaker 1: you never know, might answer casual. Anyway, let's get to

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Speaker 1: business here, because we actually to get through. I told

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Speaker 1: you guys when we were doing the Sex and Dating podcast,

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Speaker 1: I had posted to two questions on my Instagram and

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Speaker 1: Chip and I only got through the first one because

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Speaker 1: we got so many d ms from you guys. It's

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Speaker 1: amazing and it was so great. Everyone loved that podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chip post for you. Did I have a co host today?

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Speaker 1: Does anyone know where is he? I'm right here. I'm

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Speaker 1: just in Canada. You're you're what you said? Got stopped

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Speaker 1: at the border COVID check. Just how to run a

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Speaker 1: little round quick? Sorry, Okay, he's probably on Dropbox again,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I said a lot of people loved

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Speaker 1: that Sex and Dating podcast. I got so much feedback

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Speaker 1: from you guys of just some of the stuff resonating

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Speaker 1: with you or encouragement to me or um, just some

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Speaker 1: of the topics. I think a lot of people really

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Speaker 1: feel vulnerable around the topic of new beginnings around sex

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Speaker 1: and dating. It's like the universal thing, like we said

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Speaker 1: on that podcast. Well, I mean, look, I think that

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Speaker 1: sex and dating is always it always has like fear

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Speaker 1: attached to it in some way. You know, there's always

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Speaker 1: something to worry about. Ulnerable, and the like the doing

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Speaker 1: it again for the first time I think is magnified.

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Speaker 1: So that's probably the order you get. That's it from me. Like,

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Speaker 1: do you remember when you're in your twenties and you

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Speaker 1: broke up with somebody, You're like, fuck it here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, let's go see what's out there, and it

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Speaker 1: was kind of almost exciting sometimes, where now it's just

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Speaker 1: it's hard and it's sad. And if you're an adult

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Speaker 1: or like doing any sort of self reflection and you're

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Speaker 1: kind of repeat being bad patterns and relationships, it's like

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Speaker 1: that thing that I've vined about where I'm just like

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Speaker 1: you gotta gotta stop for a second and look back

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Speaker 1: and be like, why am I repeating these patterns? Or

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Speaker 1: what did I bump up against with myself in this relationship?

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Speaker 1: Or you know, like what you did like which didn't

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Speaker 1: like all of those things, you start asking yourself this question.

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Speaker 1: So it's just a little more serious. Well, it's definitely

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Speaker 1: more serious. And I think like, because we know ourselves

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Speaker 1: better as we reage, Like we know what we don't

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Speaker 1: like about other people, we know what we don't like

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Speaker 1: about ourselves. Like, there's all of those things come into play.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, remember when you were like a kid,

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Speaker 1: you'd be like, oh, I'm not I'm not going with

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Speaker 1: Robert anymore. I'm going with John. You know, like it

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Speaker 1: literally going out what y'all going out? I think we

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Speaker 1: said going with who are you going with? It feels

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Speaker 1: very Canadian of you. I don't know why talking to

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Speaker 1: who are you talking to? Oh? Talking to you? That

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Speaker 1: was a little older for me. I remember how a

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Speaker 1: boyfriend in fifth grade I probably like spoke to him

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Speaker 1: three times in the hall. It was like that, you know,

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Speaker 1: actually he passed a note while you go out with me? Yes,

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Speaker 1: and then like right, like like where are you going? Right?

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Speaker 1: And your mom because math math today? But no, like

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Speaker 1: the group of guys would go something like to the

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Speaker 1: movies and the group of girls would meet them, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, going out with his name is Morgan?

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Speaker 1: Did you give a hand job? No? Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: I was so innocent, wasn't you? A guy fingered a girl?

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Speaker 1: And when we were in high school on our period

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Speaker 1: and everyone talks about it. Well, okay, first of all,

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Speaker 1: because let's talk about her ble like it's like that's

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Speaker 1: going to be your first experience being fingered on your period.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like it's the only time to go out

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Speaker 1: with Johnny. You gotta just do it, are you Johnny?

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Speaker 1: Is that the taste of the story? Okay? I never

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Speaker 1: know with you? You know, No, I'm not Johnny, And

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Speaker 1: I could say the person's name, but I'm just he's

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Speaker 1: a cop now, so I don't need to get arrested. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we gotta do. We're acting way too casual right now. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I want to get to the second question, and then

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Speaker 1: we have some listener emails I want to get to

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Speaker 1: as well. But the second question that I put on

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Speaker 1: my Instagram was what do you want to know from

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Speaker 1: us about starting over in sex and dating? And so

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Speaker 1: I picked the top questions and I am going to

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Speaker 1: read them now. Wait, your new microphone set up is

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Speaker 1: pretty dope. Thank you. You should see Kelly right now.

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Speaker 1: She looks like she's in a recording studio, like a

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Speaker 1: radio studio, except for my face. I looked terrible. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you guys are going to see her next week. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm probably going to post this video. Didn't have time

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Speaker 1: to do anything with myself before this, but cover everything

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Speaker 1: with the microphone. Yeah, I'm just like, maybe I have

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Speaker 1: to post this video now so you can see how Yeah, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: So this comes from Janine. She says when should milestones happen?

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Speaker 1: I e saying I love you wanting to move in

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Speaker 1: and talk about engagement hmmm from the two single people, well,

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Speaker 1: let us tell you. I mean, my opinion on it

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Speaker 1: is that you should do it when you really feel

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Speaker 1: like you want to talk about it, Like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: agree with that. Um, It's it's like, I don't think

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Speaker 1: there should be rules for these sorts of things. Like

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Speaker 1: I believe that I believe in love at first sight.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that it's like the best approach to

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Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, the second you walked in,

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with you. But I think that

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Speaker 1: like if I think it's possible to go home and

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Speaker 1: be like, holy sh it, this is the person that

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Speaker 1: I want to spend the rest of my life with

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Speaker 1: and UM, and then you just have to, like, I

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Speaker 1: think you have to say it when you feel like

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Speaker 1: it's the right time. UM. And I don't know that

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Speaker 1: there's a magic answer for that. I think you just

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Speaker 1: have to trust your gut on it, and you have

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Speaker 1: to be willing for the I'm not UM to reciprocate.

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Speaker 1: I I saw a meme UM the other day. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you sent it Tom Kelly, if I

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Speaker 1: just saw it, but it said UM. Someone asked like,

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Speaker 1: what's a good way to respond to somebody that tells

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Speaker 1: you that they love you and you you're not there yet?

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Speaker 1: And the response was, Hey, we're reading the same book.

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Speaker 1: I'm just not to that chapter yet. Oh that's good.

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Speaker 1: I didn't. Yeah, I love that. So I think it's

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Speaker 1: important to follow your gut and do it when you

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Speaker 1: think UM is the right time. And I think talking

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Speaker 1: about engagement, like you can there's so many different levels

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Speaker 1: of that. It's like asking someone to marry you one thing,

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Speaker 1: but to be like, hey, like I like you, I'll

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Speaker 1: see a future. I can see engagement in our future. Like.

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Speaker 1: I think it's that's fair to talk about when you

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Speaker 1: just feel like it doesn't have to be a pressure situation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the engagement part, I do believe becomes a conversation between

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Speaker 1: the two of you about Yes, like what you just said,

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Speaker 1: I am feeling this. This is the way I feel

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Speaker 1: see this, this relationship going. Are you on the same

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Speaker 1: page even and like, what was the timeline for you?

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Speaker 1: Look like, um and just getting on the same page.

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Speaker 1: I love you thing. I love that response. I think

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Speaker 1: that's good because I think there's so many other factors

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Speaker 1: to like. I mean, you said you believe in love

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Speaker 1: love at first side, but I don't think you can

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Speaker 1: fall in love with somebody. I think you can have

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Speaker 1: a connection. This is my opinion. Um, the other parts

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Speaker 1: feel like lust or excitement or I've read a bunch

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Speaker 1: of stuff about just the hormones that can happen at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship. I think it's like the

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Speaker 1: first three months or something, and so real love comes

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Speaker 1: into play when you actually start experiencing real life together.

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Speaker 1: And um, I think that a lot of factors can happen,

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Speaker 1: like how quickly they moved into this relationship for their

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Speaker 1: last relationship, or just where they are in their life

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Speaker 1: can even play into this, or what their last relationship

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Speaker 1: experience was, like it was a terrible breakup. Someone might

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Speaker 1: be a little more hesitant and it doesn't mean they

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Speaker 1: don't have the feelings, but they could be fearful or scared.

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Speaker 1: So I just think it's like you said, you have

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Speaker 1: to follow your own gut and just own your own

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Speaker 1: truth and just be willing to put yourself out there,

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Speaker 1: you know, without it necessarily being reciprocated back right. Well,

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Speaker 1: And I also yeah, and I also think too it's

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Speaker 1: like it might not feel really good in the moment

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Speaker 1: if someone doesn't reciprocate, but if it's not going to

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Speaker 1: work out, it's better to know sooner than later. Um,

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Speaker 1: And I agree with you on the love at first

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Speaker 1: sight thing. I think in hindsight you can look back

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Speaker 1: and be like, I knew that, but what you're feeling

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Speaker 1: that first night probably isn't true love, But like it

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Speaker 1: all becomes one thing and you can look back on

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Speaker 1: your first date and be like, the second you walked

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Speaker 1: in that bar, I knew you were the one. Like yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that that is love at first sight. It's just

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Speaker 1: you haven't gotten a true love yet, so love evolves too.

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Speaker 1: Like I think you have this the first time you

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Speaker 1: say I love you, you're still like butterflies and all

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Speaker 1: this stuff. And it's like, but you can fall deeper

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Speaker 1: in love with people too as you grow and evolve together.

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Speaker 1: So I think it's just the love transitions into something

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Speaker 1: kind of different. Um, the moving thing. That's also it's

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Speaker 1: a very I don't know, I've done it where I've

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Speaker 1: done that too fast and that was too intense, um.

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Speaker 1: And then I've done it where I should have done

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Speaker 1: it quicker, and that kind of inhibited their relationship and

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Speaker 1: there was a lack of security because of that. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's also other factors like if you live in a

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Speaker 1: really expensive city where it makes sense to sort of

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Speaker 1: combine expenses, um, you might make that move sooner than later.

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Speaker 1: To um. I I do think that like it can

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Speaker 1: cause like problems that when you really see somebody ship, yes,

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Speaker 1: but it also cannot teach you if this is the

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Speaker 1: person that you can spend time with you know, like

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Speaker 1: it can those problems can work both ways. Um, but

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Speaker 1: if you're spending the night at someone tell us every

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Speaker 1: fucking night, like, you might as well save some money

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Speaker 1: on rent. Well, and I'll say too, as a girl,

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Speaker 1: it is a pain in the ass to be spending

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Speaker 1: so much time at someone's house and not have your ship,

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Speaker 1: Like we need stuff, we need a blow dryer, we

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Speaker 1: need you know, and so. And then if if you

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Speaker 1: kind of move in or you leave a bunch of

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Speaker 1: stuff over there, it's like it's still a pain in

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Speaker 1: the ask because you don't have half your just the

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Speaker 1: back and forth is exhausting, it's sucking, exhausting. And um,

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Speaker 1: I think for that reason, it's a conversation that if

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Speaker 1: you find yourself in this situation, you just have to

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Speaker 1: have yeah, yeah, my my. Um. I never with my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend in Los Angeles. We ended up. When we moved

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Speaker 1: to Nashville, we moved in together, and um, he lived

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Speaker 1: like I mean, it wasn't that far away, but depending

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Speaker 1: on what hour of the day I drove there, Like

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Speaker 1: I could get there in eighteen minutes on the weekend

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Speaker 1: when there wasn't a ton of traffic. But on a

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Speaker 1: normal night it could take me an hour and that's

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Speaker 1: just a lot of time, you know, especially after work

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Speaker 1: you just want to go home. Yeah, I get that.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know that we really helped anything here.

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Speaker 1: But the truth is, yeah, like Janine, I just think

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Speaker 1: it's one of those questions. There isn't a right or wrong.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing that we could list out as like this

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Speaker 1: is you know, six months to this and a year

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Speaker 1: to this. It really is based on each each relationship,

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Speaker 1: and it differs relationship to relationships. So my biggest thing

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Speaker 1: to say to you is just stay true to yourself

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Speaker 1: and stay in touch with yourself and your wants and

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Speaker 1: your needs and hopefully you're in a relationship where you

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Speaker 1: can communicate that with your part and rappenly. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean my mother would tell you not to move in

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Speaker 1: with somebody and tell you're married. So it depends on like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not like we're not Emily Post, we're not taking etiquette. Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I would much rather know that I'm about

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Speaker 1: to make a mistake married. So I was just thinking,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I want to get married before I

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Speaker 1: live with somebody, And you don't you try clothes on

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Speaker 1: before you leave the store, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: That's like, I mean, it's so funny because my mother

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Speaker 1: is like, why buy the cow when the milk is free?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, but like what if the milk

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Speaker 1: is sour? Right? You know, I just don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: think that I get what she's saying. And that's a

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Speaker 1: very old mentality, Like it's a it's an old programming thing.

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Speaker 1: And I mean that could work for a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: but if it's truly a relationship that's meant to work,

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Speaker 1: if they move in with you, it's not going to

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Speaker 1: be like I got what I needed from them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I agree. All let's move on. Let's move

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Speaker 1: on to Jessica. She says, thoughts on setting and sticking

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Speaker 1: to boundaries in regards to having sex with someone new.

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Speaker 1: I'm personally terrible at boundaries, So take it a right,

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Speaker 1: I am to Jessica. You have really had to go there. Um,

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, I am coming out of the drive.

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Speaker 1: But also I don't want any fucking boundaries when I

337
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Speaker 1: come to Seriously, Um, just knock on the door, I'll

338
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Speaker 1: do I'll do whatever. You don't even knock just come

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Speaker 1: in like you're the pizza delivery guy. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to Yeah, seriously, what are you in too? Um? No,

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Speaker 1: I do. Look, I think that um, every sexual encounter

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Speaker 1: should you should feel safe and UM it's the sooner

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Speaker 1: you start with boundaries, the easier they are to lay.

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Speaker 1: So if it's not something that you're comfortable with, I

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Speaker 1: think it's okay to be like yo, I don't or

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Speaker 1: that this doesn't feel good. I think you can just

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Speaker 1: say that like, hey, I don't really like that, or um,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to try that now. UM. I think

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Speaker 1: you can work into the rearse to like if you

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Speaker 1: have kinks um, or like have fantasized about trying some things, like, um,

351
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Speaker 1: you might want to let that those things out of

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Speaker 1: the bag. I wouldn't do it on the first date,

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Speaker 1: but like try to get to that, Like, if you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're sexually compatible, you might want to get

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Speaker 1: to them sooner than later so that like someone doesn't

356
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Speaker 1: think that you know, um, ye're into one thing and

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Speaker 1: then suddenly it's like the freak show comes out and

358
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Speaker 1: what the funk was this? Um? But uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think that's also like you can talk about those

360
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Speaker 1: things without even doing them for a while. Um. I

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Speaker 1: just it's just about open communication really, um. And I

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Speaker 1: think the sooner the better. Okay, I do feel like

363
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Speaker 1: the gay community is a little different than um. Like,

364
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Speaker 1: she's a girl writing and she's in a heterosexual situation,

365
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 1: and like I think the the well the game in

366
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Speaker 1: that I know are just a little looser and faster

367
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Speaker 1: because because y'all just don't I don't know, it's it's

368
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Speaker 1: just fun and exciting and what you basically your description

369
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Speaker 1: is like, yeah, let's go. So as a female, let

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Speaker 1: me take this approach. I am I as an almost

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Speaker 1: forty year old. Now that is so weird to say,

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Speaker 1: but it's I think that I am finally figuring out

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Speaker 1: what I really want in a relationship and and I'm

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Speaker 1: also to a place where I have a different level

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Speaker 1: of confidence in myself and this is like very new

376
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Speaker 1: for me. But I'm kind of settling into I know

377
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Speaker 1: what I want and I'm like super unwilling to compromise

378
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Speaker 1: it anymore. Um. And that goes with sex too, So

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Speaker 1: for me, it's turned into like I'm not really I'm

380
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Speaker 1: not interested in just hooking up with people that actually

381
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Speaker 1: like does not interest me. At all, But I want

382
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Speaker 1: to be in a situation the next time I have

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Speaker 1: sex that is like very safe, like you said, but

384
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Speaker 1: also like I just know I'm valued and I'm seen

385
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Speaker 1: for who I am and all of those things first

386
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Speaker 1: and then to me sex and it is an extension

387
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Speaker 1: of that. Does that make sense? And so then it's

388
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,880
Speaker 1: like I don't know. Then it is safe, and then

389
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 1: it is like whatever it turns into. I I mean,

390
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: it also makes it so much better. It makes it

391
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 1: so much better and deeper, and mentally, I was like, well, girl,

392
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: we don't need the details. I'm just I realized, to

393
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: use a really interesting word, there were joys. But yeah,

394
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: you're gonna You're going to make him work for it.

395
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 1: I want to make him work for it because I

396
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: think I'm worth it. You're born again virgin am. I though,

397
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 1: um yeah, look, I don't want to sell flipping about

398
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: it either. Um, but I do. Yeah, it's uh. I

399
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 1: think boundaries are good and bad. You know, like there's

400
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Speaker 1: you don't want to because I don't want to say

401
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: the boundaries are bad because that's not true. They can

402
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: they can see, they can walls seem bad. Um, So

403
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 1: you know I think that Um, you like you you're

404
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: walking in with boundaries right now, is what you're saying, Like,

405
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: this is my boundary and it doesn't necessarily have to

406
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 1: be communicated on your first date. Life. No, buddy, you're

407
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: not getting you're not getting into my band. But that's

408
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: a boundary that you have set for yourself that is like, Okay,

409
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 1: this is my expectation, this is what I want is

410
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: a value myself. Um So, I mean, I guess your

411
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: answer would be to like start to start to figure

412
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Speaker 1: out what your boundaries are even before you're in the

413
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: room with somebody, right Yeah. I think it's more about

414
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: the relationship with yourself because then you're gonna know really

415
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: quickly with someone that's not I'm not saying like, oh god,

416
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,239
Speaker 1: you gotta wait six months until you have sex, you know,

417
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: or like this many dates until you have sex. I

418
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,959
Speaker 1: don't think that's how it works. I think it's more

419
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: about a feeling, And it's about the feeling that you

420
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 1: get when you're around this person knowing that you have

421
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: the relationship with yourself that you have. And so if

422
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: I have my boundaries right now and I go in

423
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Speaker 1: with somebody and I'm like, Wow, they're really hot, and

424
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 1: you know, make me all excited. It's like, but but

425
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: like in the past, maybe I would have acted on

426
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: that versus like taking the time to to ask myself

427
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: the questions like, but how do I feel like? Am

428
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 1: I being authentically myself? Do I feel seen by this person?

429
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: You know? And maybe I do on the first date?

430
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, um, but it just I just yeah,

431
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: I don't think it's like a number thing again. I

432
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: think it's more about the boundaries that I would say

433
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 1: would be boundaries with myself to know how I want

434
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 1: to feel, how I want to be treated, and how

435
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: I want to be respected by the person that I'm

436
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: giving myself to in that way. Yeah, well, I also

437
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: think too, it's like approaching something um with that sort

438
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 1: of intention, approaching sex with that sort of intention too.

439
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: It's like the one thing you can't control is whether

440
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: or not the relationship is going to work out. At

441
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: that point, you know it's but at least you can

442
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: feel good about UM, you know your approach to it

443
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 1: if you have done it with the intention UM to

444
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,360
Speaker 1: serve yourself best. Yeah, and if it doesn't work out,

445
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: then like you don't feel like, well funk, I'm a horror.

446
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 1: That just sucked that dude, right, Yeah, there's no shame

447
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: in it. Yeah, it's just an experience that added to

448
00:24:52,520 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: your life story, right, Yeah, that you wanted. So yeah, yeah, Sarah,

449
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 1: she says, ten years into marriage and trying to reset

450
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 1: sex expectations, say, sex expectations ten times expectation. Let's just

451
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: make it work. One expectations ten years into. I mean, look,

452
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm not married, so I'm not really in the authority

453
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: of your longest relationship. It was like three years, Okay,

454
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: I did a nine year once. Yeah, yeah, I get

455
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: what she's saying, because it shifts and like, definitely the

456
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: lust has worn off and we don't know if there's

457
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: children involved. Yeah, there's kids, there's jobs, there's life responsibilities,

458
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 1: there's house, there's like all the bills, there's so much

459
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: ship and who knows what they each relationship has been through.

460
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 1: And so it's definitely not this like fairy tale rom

461
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 1: com sich anymore. It is or just like hot you

462
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: know whatever. But I do think that that setting the

463
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: sexpectations about what's realistic is a good conversation. And also

464
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 1: it's like maybe spice things up within that, you know,

465
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: like add a little extra flare so that if it's

466
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: happening once a week, it's really fucking fun, right, Yeah,

467
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: And I think I think it was like it could

468
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: help to sort of revisit some of the things that

469
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: you loved when you were younger. Like I don't know,

470
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: it's like surprise your partner, you know, Like I mean

471
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 1: this could be a bad example, but like give him

472
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: a blowjob while driving, or have sex in the car,

473
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: like do things that like we're exciting back then that

474
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: like you might sound like might make you cringe a

475
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: little bit to think about, but like I do think

476
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: that there are ways to like find excitement makes sex

477
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 1: a little risky, you know, like, um, I can't think

478
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: of a good example, but like just yeah, I think

479
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 1: it's I think like that could be a fun way

480
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:06,120
Speaker 1: to spice things back up without it being like you've

481
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 1: got to search for like weird toys or stuff that

482
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: like it's totally outside of your wheelhouse that would you know,

483
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: make you feel really uncomfortable. Um. And I like I

484
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: also think too, it's like, um, it's probably just really

485
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: important to talk about it, like make sure that your

486
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: partner knows that it's still important to you. Mm hmm.

487
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: You know. I mean people, I can't remember if it

488
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,479
Speaker 1: was you I was talking about this with. But like

489
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: people always are like, oh, I don't want to schedule sex,

490
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: but life honestly gets so busy, and it's just like

491
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 1: maybe you schedule a date night and sex it's part

492
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: of that. But like I just think, and then it's

493
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: like do something nice for each other, or do something

494
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: different than sitting on your couch watching a show at night,

495
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: like spice things up that way. But like, if your

496
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: life is that busy, and especially if kids are involved,

497
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: maybe you have to schedule it a little bit. And

498
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: like I think that's okay. I've actually had some sex

499
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: therapists on here that have talked about that, and and

500
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: also they've said it can end up being really spicy

501
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 1: because then that day like start sending like naughty text

502
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: or something, you know, make it really fun, and so

503
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: then the build up is there, Um, buy some new lingerie,

504
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 1: like just do something that keeps it interesting, and like

505
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: that's what we do at the beginning of their relationship,

506
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 1: you know, So don't just get so comfortable that you

507
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 1: stop doing the fun stuff, because that's why it's sucking fun. Well,

508
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: and I think you know we did. We talked about

509
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: on here the scheduling a sex thing and like, to me,

510
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: the idea of like every Tuesday at seven thirty, we're

511
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: fucking like that sounds really boring and that sounds pressure. Yeah, totally.

512
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: But if you're at work on a Thursday and you're like,

513
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to fund the ship out of you tonight,

514
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: you know, like that is scheduling. That's also a way

515
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: of scheduling sex. You know, like you said, an expectation

516
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: that it like it does it makes the a hotter.

517
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: You start to build the anticipation for it, like, um,

518
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: or I want you to fund the ship out of

519
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: me tonight, like let's do this. Um. You know that

520
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: to me is alsome. That's a really sexy way and

521
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: scheduling sex. I think like you set that expectation earlier

522
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: in the day or you just say like we're doing

523
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 1: date night on Saturday. Yeah um, And that that to

524
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: me is not cringe worthy scheduling. Okay, well, I'm glad

525
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: that you feel that way. I mean, I actually think,

526
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: like I've been in relationships before, we've had to set

527
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: a date night because life was so hectic and so

528
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 1: every Tuesday was date night, you know, And so I

529
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: think it can be like that. But I actually looked

530
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: forward to it every week because it's like reconnecting with

531
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,959
Speaker 1: your partner. You can do fun activities together, hopefully without

532
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: kids for a minute. And um yeah, and sex is

533
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: usually a part of that. And so I think it

534
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: just makes it. It's fun because at least you're like, Okay,

535
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: we're disconnected this weekend, but I know I have Tuesday

536
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: coming up, and so then then anticipation really built. Right.

537
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: Um Mica asked, did I miss your post about a breakup?

538
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: Did you recently go through one trying to catch up? Yes? Yes,

539
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: I need to say about it. Um dating, Oh, how

540
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: do you date in COVID age? It's so scary. Yeah.

541
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: I take your vitamins and just get back out there.

542
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: Be vaccinated. Well, being vaccinated doesn't stop you from getting it, clearly,

543
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: it does make your case. Yeah, it definitely makes your case.

544
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: I'm hoping the CDC keeps these changes coming to where

545
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: quarantine is not eight hundred days and it's five like

546
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: it is. I mean, I hope it just all starts.

547
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: We start to operate like this is the flu like

548
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: everything else, you know, Um, and that will hopefully. I

549
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: feel like it's shifting that way. I don't know, is

550
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: that just me? Is that my fantasy? No? I think

551
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: you're It turns you on, And I'm like, oh, COVID

552
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: lowering the protocols of COVID so hot. I hear the

553
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: CDC is gonna send a new message on Saturday, let's

554
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: plan the fuck. I always start talking about COVID andseexically, um,

555
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, assuming that our listeners are in

556
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: the US, I mean it's like ship, I'm in Ontario

557
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: right now, they're on lockdown again. Like there is real

558
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: fear out there for people depending on where they live. Um.

559
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I think that, um, you know,

560
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: a getting vaccinated will help, um, alleviate some of the

561
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 1: fear around all of this. But UM, I think you know,

562
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: it's going to be a case by case basis based

563
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: on you know, how scared people are of this thing

564
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: because it is a scary, real thing. Um. I personally

565
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: live in a city that has forgotten that COVID exists.

566
00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: So do you guys Tennessee. I just went to Texas

567
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: because I was just in Texas and I was like, oh, no,

568
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: COVID here, interesting Okay, I was at a two hundred

569
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: person conference and yeah, COVID didn't exist. Yeah, so it, Um,

570
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel scary to me today. Um, you know,

571
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: I just, I just I hope that I expect the

572
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: best out of humanity, and I hope that people who

573
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: are sick decided to stay home even if they have

574
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: a date schedule. I love that you still expect the

575
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: best of humanity after this, because I'm like, why where

576
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: are you getting your information on that naive little kid?

577
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: It's sweet, it's real cute. Yeah, that just has not

578
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: been my takeaway unfortunately. Yeah, anyway, do you want to

579
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: talk more about COVID? We gotta stop. Okay. Um, so

580
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: that's that was it for the questions that I picked.

581
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: We just wanted to go out on that net, really

582
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 1: go out with a COVID bang bang? Is anyone still listening?

583
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 1: I wish you could see how she's working this microphone.

584
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: He keeps falling over as it's like ending you on

585
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 1: the chip looks really inappropriate. I'm a hot mess today.

586
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: I feel I don't feel like I'm one of my

587
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: best hosting behavior. I think you look cute. Gee, thanks thanks? Okay,

588
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to go into so I got

589
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 1: so much feedback from you guys about this sober Curious

590
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: journey I've been on chip. I'm one day eight. What

591
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: do you think about I only know that because I

592
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: actually took the time to count before this podcast, which

593
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 1: is great. It's like you just forget for for me.

594
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: I have and um, I feel amazing and I'm still

595
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: going strong with it and I still planned to. But

596
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: I did a whole podcast about how I just was

597
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: taking a little break from rinking. I think, but I

598
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: don't really know, Like I'm I'm just curious about what

599
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: this would feel like to remove alcohol from my life.

600
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: So if you haven't listened to that podcast, you can

601
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 1: go check it out. I think it's called Sober Curious.

602
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 1: It's definitely part of this New Beginnings month because it

603
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: is a new beginning for me. Um. But I wanted

604
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: to read some of the feedback that I got because

605
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: there was a couple of questions mixed into this. Sarah

606
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 1: said to me, I don't drink, and I haven't in

607
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: about ten years. The amount of people that make comments

608
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 1: about it is insane. The first question is why I

609
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: never had a bad relationship. It's just not a relationship

610
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: I wanted at all. People can't wrap their head around it.

611
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: I feel like people assume I was an alcoholic. So

612
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: she's saying, people come to her and she's like, oh,

613
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: I don't drink or whatever, and they're like why, Yeah,

614
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: Allison says the same thing like our friend Allison who

615
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,320
Speaker 1: doesn't drink. Yeah, And Alison has never had a problem

616
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: with She's just never been interested. And she's like, is

617
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: the biggest party animal I know, Like she's always allows

618
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: one to leave a party. Um, and she doesn't do

619
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: anything like yeah, no drugs, no alcohol. Yeah, She's just

620
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: it's just has never interested her. But yeah, she remarks

621
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 1: all the time that like how obvious it is that

622
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: it makes it's other people's discomfort with it. She's like,

623
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 1: she's like, I am perfectly comfortable being at a party

624
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 1: with the drunkest people in the world. Everyone's smoking weed.

625
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: Like she doesn't care, She's not judging anybody. She's just here,

626
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: not fun. She's like, why are people judging me? Right,

627
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable. You know what it is though, And I

628
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 1: truly believe this, And I actually remember this from when

629
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: I was drinking, Like I act like it was like

630
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: so long ago drink back when I used to drink

631
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: eighty eight days ago. Um. But it's like it just

632
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: makes you uncomfortable if you're drinking and you're getting hammered

633
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,479
Speaker 1: because you realize they're sober eyes on you. And so

634
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 1: when everyone else is doing it, usually people are pretty

635
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 1: on par with saying stupid ship or dancing around like

636
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: a fool. It's what you're doing that you start to

637
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: have to question if someone else is not doing right.

638
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: So it really has nothing to do with the sober person.

639
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: And like I feel the same. I still have been

640
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 1: going out and going to dinners and I still want

641
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: to go dance. Like it doesn't it's not stopped me

642
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 1: from doing the things that I want to do. We

643
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 1: just went to the Bahamas and like there was a

644
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 1: lot of alcohol flowing and it was fine. It's just

645
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: like I'm still having fun with my friends, and it's like,

646
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: you guys are my friends because you're my friends, not

647
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: because we just are drinking buddies. So the biggest thing

648
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: that's made me question or think about is like I

649
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: really only want to be around people that when I'm

650
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: not drinking, I want to actually be around, right, I

651
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: mean that's a really good point. Like, I think if

652
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,280
Speaker 1: somebody is uncomfortable with the fact that yourselber, it's because

653
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: it's like it is a much deeper shame than I

654
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: could even put my finger on, Like you know, it's

655
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 1: like there's some weird shame that's going on. It's like,

656
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 1: that's the dumbest Why aren't you drinking? Yeah, it's not

657
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: none of your business because I don't want to Why

658
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:03,439
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, I don't want to drink every day, even

659
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: when I'm with my friends. Like sometimes I'm just like,

660
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: you know what, I just want to water tonight, Like,

661
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 1: and if someone said why, I'd be like, because I

662
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 1: want to the water, right. It's just actually, like, I mean,

663
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: there has to be some sort of response we can

664
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: come up with to those kind of people who if

665
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: they're like, why why are you drinking? I mean it

666
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: back at m I think that's the thing that this

667
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 1: book I'm reading, um Quit Like a Woman talks about

668
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,720
Speaker 1: is just how normalized over drinking. It's like our culture

669
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: is obsessed with drinking, and advertising makes some people companies

670
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: make so much money on alcohol, and so it's just

671
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: like constantly programmed into it's it's glamorized, it's sexualized, it's

672
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 1: all the things, and so when much likely yes, So

673
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: then it's like someone says I'm not drinking, and um,

674
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: people's what what? And it's like why is We start

675
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: saying back to them, why is that your question? Like?

676
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: Who cares? Why are you? Why do you expect everyone

677
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: to drink? That's the bigger issue. Well, I mean the

678
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: programming starts at this a young age too. It's like

679
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: the cool kids in high school. I'm doing air quotes

680
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: for those who aren't looking. The cool kids in high

681
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: school are generally the ones that like drink first, so

682
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: it becomes a thing that cool people do, and then

683
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: the people that were less inclined to drink in the

684
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: first place they drink to fit in. It's this weird

685
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: programming things that starts at a very young age and

686
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 1: suddenly like if you don't drink, you're not cool, and

687
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:40,439
Speaker 1: it that carries on through life and it's just it's

688
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: not true. Right. I have noticed that there's certain situations

689
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: where I just want to have a soda, water and

690
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 1: a lime in my hand more than others. And usually

691
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: it has to do with I just don't feel like

692
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: dealing with people being like, oh, you're not drinking what

693
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 1: or like just just it's like literally to make other

694
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: people more comfortable. It's weird. I'll probably get over that though,

695
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 1: pretty soon. I do love to buy Alison and like

696
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: it's one of my favorite things. Like I'll go like

697
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: get around of drinks at the bar and I'll be like,

698
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 1: I got you. She doesn't even drink it just funny

699
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 1: dot yeah even good. Haneken has one called the double zero, Right.

700
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 1: I see a lot of people drinking as these days.

701
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, let's just make it a thing. There's

702
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: all sorts of options out there these days. So Taylor said,

703
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: today's episode brings she's talking about this souber curious episode.

704
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,479
Speaker 1: Today's episode brings so many feelings. First, you should listen

705
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: to First, you should listen to the episode of You

706
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: Need Therapy from Amy Brown's podcast Next Network. I'm sure

707
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: you know it. I do, Taylor, because I'm also want

708
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 1: Same Network. It came out on March eighth, and it's

709
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: called The Gray Area of Drinking. I'm very much like Chip,

710
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 1: I can take your leave drinking. However, my husband is

711
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: much like you. He was mindlessly drinking not realizing it

712
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 1: was suppressing so many emotions. He decided to be sober

713
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 1: for an undecided amount of time and he is coming

714
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: on two years. That's awesome, by the way, um he

715
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: says the same thing. He doesn't miss it. And it's

716
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 1: crazy how much our culture survives off of drinking in

717
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: every activity. That episode has really helped me understand him

718
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: better and him to understand that he isn't an alcoholic.

719
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: Thank you for talking about this. It will help a

720
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 1: lot more people than you realize. I have two things

721
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: to say. One, if anyone is listening in Questioning and

722
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: Drinking and has you know, has a problem with alcohol

723
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: or is an alcoholic or identifies in an as an alcoholic,

724
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 1: I don't there's no shame in that either. And that's

725
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: I want to be very clear about that. Like, you

726
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 1: are so worthy of all the things and whatever. You

727
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: have a drinking problem, go get help. It's it's like,

728
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: so there's steps to help you do this. And I

729
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 1: don't want us to sit here and be like, he's

730
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: not an acoholic though, and that be the like message

731
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: and putting out you know. Um, so if that is

732
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: the case in your life, like the courageous thing is

733
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 1: to go get help, I believe, and um, it's a

734
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 1: hard process for some but like it's okay too, And

735
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: I just I don't know, I do other twelve stepwork

736
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: because I just wanted to make sure I'm not like saying, well,

737
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 1: I don't identify as an alcoholic in a shaming way

738
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: to anyone, but I don't identify as an alcoholic. I

739
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,919
Speaker 1: do identify as other things. And so you know, I'm

740
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: doing the work around that to help myself have a

741
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: more fulfilling life. But um, that's why those programs are there,

742
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: and they're so helpful and so much support and so

743
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: much understanding, and so let's take the shame out of it. Um.

744
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 1: But I do think that the whole point again being

745
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 1: how much our culture puts around this drinking stuff. I

746
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: kind of forgot the second thing I was gonna says,

747
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: But it's it's just about like the I think the

748
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: more people just get honest with themselves and say, like, yeah,

749
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what drinking is even bring into my life,

750
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: Like do I even like it anymore? That was sort

751
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: of how I felt like. It was, just like I

752
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: don't know what's the positive here. I just couldn't find it. Anymore. Right, Yeah,

753
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: I I think it's like to going back to the

754
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: last question we're talking about, like the question like, well,

755
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: why aren't you drinking? I mean, I think more people

756
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 1: need to ask exactly, he said, ask yourself, why are you? Um?

757
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: You know, and I think it's because a lot of

758
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:38,399
Speaker 1: people just drink because it's time to drink, you know. Um.

759
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 1: We've been sold that, um through advertising and just programming

760
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,800
Speaker 1: and um. And that's fine. If you're choosing to drink

761
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: because you have fun and you want to drink, like,

762
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 1: no judgment. Um. If you think that you have a problem,

763
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,439
Speaker 1: you should seek help, because you probably do. I want

764
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: to start saying to people, I just thought of it.

765
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: What is it someone says to me? Why, I'm just

766
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 1: gonna say, well, what's your fationship with alcohol? Yeah? Because

767
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: I swear to God it will make every single person

768
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable exactly, But stop asking me that damn question.

769
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 1: Let me live my life. UM. Sorry I cut you off.

770
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 1: It's we're saying the same thing, so um, and I

771
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: forgot what I was saying anyway, So we're nailing it today.

772
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: We are nailing it. Oh wait, well, so what's your

773
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 1: relationship with alcohol? My relationship right now is that there

774
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 1: is none to be had. So even if I wanted

775
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: to drink Canada, is that Canada doesn't have alcohol. Well,

776
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is the only store that is

777
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: open in this hotel is the wine store. We're back

778
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 1: in lockdown, so right, yeah, everybody needs a bottle of wine.

779
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 1: But yeah, this comes from m she said. Okay, I

780
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 1: see what you're saying a little bit because I want

781
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: to say this too. I get so many messages from

782
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 1: you guys that are so encouraging and inspiring and just

783
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: like telling me your stories about something you heard that

784
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: really helped you, and I relish in those. They make

785
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: my day. They make everything that I do with this

786
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: podcast worth it um, and it's so encouraging it makes

787
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: me want to keep going. And I feel sort of

788
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,280
Speaker 1: like a douchebag being like, oh, look at this person

789
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: telling me how much I helped them, Like you know,

790
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: so I would never read them out loud, but I

791
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: want you to know how much they mean to me.

792
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 1: And I screenshot all of them, every single one of them.

793
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: I have a folder on my phone of just encouraging things.

794
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: So when I have bad days or I'm like is

795
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: anyone even listening? You know that kind of feeling. I

796
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: go read those and I'm like, yes, this helped Susan.

797
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: It didn't help Susan, but like it. It makes it

798
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: all worth it. Even if it was one person, it

799
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: would make it worth it to me. So thank you

800
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 1: from the bottom of my heart for those messages. They

801
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: do not go lost or they're not lost on me

802
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: at all. This one is like sort of like that.

803
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 1: So I feel a little bit do she being like, listen,

804
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: how much I am helping this person? But I'm gonna

805
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: read this because I think she had more um to

806
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: say that. The reason I wanted to read it I

807
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: remember now wh I've screened at it. It's just like

808
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: an encouragement of anyone who's considering the not drinking thing too,

809
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 1: or just taking a break even always d m me

810
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: if you have questions or it's hard or it's a

811
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 1: hard day, or you're like what does this look like?

812
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: And how do I do this on a day to day? Um,

813
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: But also know that they were going to be people

814
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: in your life who really do encourage you. And I

815
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: think a lot of people now are just really leaning

816
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: into how difficult that journey might be because of the

817
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: way our culture operates around alcohol, and um, I don't know.

818
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: I've just I've gotten so much encouragement you would dodge

819
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 1: if it's crazy. It's just like hundreds of messages from people,

820
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:53,319
Speaker 1: and so many messages from people who are saying, I've

821
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: been doing this too, but thank you for being public

822
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: about it and trying to normalize this because it's isolating,

823
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,919
Speaker 1: you know. So anyway, the message says, I just wanted

824
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: to say how inspiring you are too many with your

825
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: sober journey, and with each day comes another level of

826
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 1: bravery and vulnerability, especially with the world watching and listening.

827
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 1: You're so strong and you might not know, but you're

828
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: another person's strength. Keep doing you for you, and I'm

829
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: so excited to see all the amazing things that continue

830
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: to unravel for you. Happy New Years to you and

831
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 1: your story. Cheers. So it was that one line that said,

832
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 1: you're so strong and you might not know it, but

833
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: you're another person's strength. So I just I think it's

834
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: really important that we just keep telling our stories, even

835
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: are vulnerable ones, because people listening like there's always someone

836
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: affected by it in general, in life. This isn't just

837
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: for us, but we just a bigger platform than you

838
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:43,919
Speaker 1: know some people might on a day to day Well. Yeah,

839
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's like even friend to friend level,

840
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 1: like share what you're going through, right, talk to your friends. Yeah,

841
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: talk to your friends, talk to your family, like, talk

842
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 1: to you have a support system. Isn't it amazing how

843
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:04,240
Speaker 1: much that doesn't happen. Yeah, it's well because we're often

844
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: so tied to the outcome of well, if I say

845
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 1: this to somebody, it's gonna do this or they're going

846
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: to react in this way, and it's like, no, funk.

847
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: The outcome, like what you need is the release often

848
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: of like getting something off of your chest or um,

849
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: taking a step forward whatever it is that you need,

850
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: and you're taking a step toward it, um, And it

851
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 1: can be so freeing just to like take that step. Um.

852
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: And you know, I think like I've learned a lot

853
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: about myself just by joining this podcast and yeah, just

854
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 1: sharing things, like you know, I've said things about myself

855
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: on here that I don't know that I've would have

856
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 1: ever said. I learned a lot about you on the uh. Well, yeah,

857
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: I mean it's like this is like the exercise of

858
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,320
Speaker 1: doing this is like taught me that sometimes just saying

859
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: things about yourself is really freeing and it's not gonna

860
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: be the end of the world, and it's it's been

861
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: pretty awesome. So before you know what, you could be

862
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 1: sending voice notes to random stranger. Yeah, all right, this

863
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: comes from this Girl's name is Jenny Garth, and I'm like,

864
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: I love it, she said, souber curious here, Hi, Kelly,

865
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 1: and Ship. I was so happy to see that today's

866
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: podcast topic was sober curious. I began a one day

867
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: alcohol free challenge at the end of November. I'm currently

868
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:45,959
Speaker 1: on day forty four. This was actually a while ago

869
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: that she sent this to me, so just further than

870
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: that now. But good for you, Jenny, that's awesome. But

871
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: like you, Kelly, I don't know the number off hand anymore.

872
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: It's just become a normal I started drinking more during

873
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 1: quarantine like the rest of the world, But once my

874
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: life began to its somewhat back to normal, my drinking

875
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: did not return to normal. This is exactly what happened

876
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 1: to me. I knew I needed to experience life without it.

877
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: Without it for a while, I was ready, and I

878
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: decided on a date to start and ended up kicking

879
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: it off a day earlier than I planned. I have

880
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 1: noticed that I'm much more focused. My skin looks so

881
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: much better, I'm happier, and my anxiety is gone. I

882
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: had a few social gatherings over the past forty four days,

883
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: and I have not struggled to say sober at them.

884
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: You're right that other people's reactions are the issues, but

885
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: I really think that it's more about them not wanting

886
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: to think about their own drinking habits. I don't know

887
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 1: what will happen over after these next one after these

888
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: one days, I may pick up a drink or I

889
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: may not, but it may. It made me see that

890
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:44,839
Speaker 1: life without it is pretty great and I'm really not

891
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: missing anything. Bonus, there's an app that tracks money and

892
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: calories saved so far, this is crazy. I have saved

893
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars and over two sorry, twenty six thousand calories.

894
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 1: Now please open that alcohol eat bar. I really should. Jeez,

895
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 1: thanks for all the laughs and so glad you're I

896
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: mean right, it's like since what I'm telling you, I

897
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 1: literally lost five pounds, which like on me, is not

898
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,359
Speaker 1: really a good thing. Actually, I've been trying to put

899
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: it back on, but I just stopping drinking wine. I

900
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: didn't realize. I'm like, oh, my face is all of

901
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: a sudden, like a lot skinnier. This is crazy. It

902
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: was like swollen from all the sugar. Um. The anxiety

903
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 1: being being gone is a huge thing. Like I don't

904
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: think we realized the ups and downs, like like the

905
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 1: toll that drinking puts on your emotional state. But it

906
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 1: is a depressant and we just never talk about that.

907
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,720
Speaker 1: I mean unless it's like when you're having a scary

908
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,240
Speaker 1: Sunday or something like that. But it's like, no, every

909
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: time you drink, it really is contributing to that, and

910
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 1: so people use it for this way to like soothe

911
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,799
Speaker 1: their anxiety at the end of the hard day. But

912
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: it's like that's actually like not the right route if

913
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 1: you actually want to see your anxiety, because it's only

914
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: going to exacerbate any issue you might have there. Yeah,

915
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 1: I do think, I mean it's been marketed that way though. Yeah,

916
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: unwind at the end of the day exactly. Um, okay,

917
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: moving on from the drinking. This comes from I can't

918
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: see your name because the screenshot it and it didn't

919
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: sure her name, so we'll call her Katie. Um. Oh,

920
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 1: this one is from Katie. Okay, that's where I saw

921
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: that I'm just a psychic. So basically I've been Oh,

922
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 1: this is really sad. This message made me really upset.

923
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: She said, Hey, Kelly, do you have any advice on

924
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,399
Speaker 1: being treated badly by coworkers and how to deal with it?

925
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: Any podcast on this topic. I treat others how I

926
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: want to be treated and struggle when I'm threatened badly.

927
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, I can address on the podcast,

928
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 1: but can you tell me more? And she said so, Basically,

929
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 1: I've been through so much workplace bullying. I'm I work

930
00:51:53,560 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: in an early childhood preschool, I mean um early childhood preschool,

931
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,879
Speaker 1: and I have some terrible experiences that made me want

932
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 1: to leave the industry forever. My anxiety got so much

933
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: worse as a result, and I became burnt out. I'm

934
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: better now, but I still struggle when I speak professionally

935
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: and respectfully and the person either ignores me, is rude,

936
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 1: or snaps those kind of things which can make it

937
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: hard to get the job done. Yesterday I also felt like,

938
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: why do I bother being so kind to everyone and

939
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: going above and beyond when some people are just so rude? Back.

940
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't want to be so kind to

941
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 1: people who aren't to me, but I also won't stoop

942
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: to their level, if you get what I mean, what

943
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:43,560
Speaker 1: do I do? I think that you should keeping you

944
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: like the world needs more people like you, and um,

945
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 1: you cannot internalize the fact that these people are assholes.

946
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with you, and UM, I

947
00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: think you should continue to kill them with kindness and UM.

948
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: You know. I know it sounds like non advice to

949
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: be like, well, don't let it bother you, because it

950
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: clearly does. But I think you need to remind yourself

951
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 1: every day that you're a nice person who approaches life

952
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:19,880
Speaker 1: with kindness and UM. What you're doing is um is

953
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:25,399
Speaker 1: good and UM and it's necessary in the world. So

954
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 1: try not to let it affect you because it probably

955
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: has literally nothing to do with you. And UM. If

956
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: someone is not in a position or a place in

957
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:42,919
Speaker 1: their life to accept your kindness, um, you know, keep

958
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:45,879
Speaker 1: giving it to them because they probably need it, right.

959
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: I mean. Also, I'm just like, do they not have

960
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 1: HR or some sort of like weird right? Why is

961
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 1: this happening? I can't really understand why adults would behave

962
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: that way. But also the one thing that I would

963
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: definitely say is you know how they always say the

964
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: way someone treats you is a direct reflection of what's

965
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 1: happening inside of them versus actually something with you. And

966
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 1: so that's another thing to really remember. If someone is

967
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 1: bullying you, bullying you at a preschool, I mean, what,

968
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: this is crazy, but that's about them, it really is.

969
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 1: And so I hate that it makes you, you know,

970
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 1: have more anxiety than normal. And I can understand why,

971
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 1: I especially if you're spending so much time there each week.

972
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: There are some podcasts I've put up about anxiety and

973
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 1: then like tricks to get through Anxiety UM meditation podcast.

974
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 1: There's one with tapp with Brad. He's an amazing He

975
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 1: helps you tap on certain parts of your body that

976
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 1: helped really solve your soothe your body. Excuse me. Um.

977
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: It's kind of similar to like an E. M. D

978
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,480
Speaker 1: R type therapy and that could be a good way

979
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 1: to start your day. Or maybe put some affirmations on

980
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: your mirror and say them before you go to school

981
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:54,760
Speaker 1: every day until your brain starts to believe it. Um.

982
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: But yeah, and also like maybe look for a new job.

983
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 1: Also it sounds like a way you want to spend

984
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 1: your life. You know, if assuming that the person who's

985
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 1: bullying you isn't the boss, I think you need to

986
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: take it up with them because you know, kids, kids

987
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 1: absorb what's going on around them. And and if bullying

988
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 1: is happening amongst the faculty of a preschool, right, um, yeah,

989
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 1: what kind of lessons are being taught to the children.

990
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 1: So if I were the owner or the manager or whatever,

991
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 1: the person that sits at the top, um, I would

992
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: want to know that that kind of stuff is going

993
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 1: on because I wouldn't want those types of people working

994
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 1: in my organization. Yeah, so I think the best thing

995
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 1: that I would say is just remember to always like,

996
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 1: never abandon yourself here and what you need to do

997
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: for you to keep yourself in a healthy headspace before

998
00:55:56,920 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 1: you go to work, during work, um, after work, just

999
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 1: take care of yourself and yeah, we're here if you

1000
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: need us. Because that sounds hard, Yeah, I don't like it.

1001
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 1: It needs to be an environment where you feel safe. Also,

1002
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here acting like it's crazy to be bullied

1003
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 1: as an adult, yet I was also bullied as an

1004
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: adult recently on national television, and it is crazy. But

1005
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: you know what I've walked away from that, really really

1006
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 1: learning is we can't control other people, especially their projection

1007
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 1: of what's happening internally for them went to us. I

1008
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: took it so personally and it hurts so much, and

1009
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:37,240
Speaker 1: I was super fucking angry even for a really long time,

1010
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: and even recently I had a conversation. Didn't even tell

1011
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 1: you this. I had a conversation with one of the

1012
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 1: producers from Very Cavalry, and Um, I got a lot

1013
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 1: of insight, first of all, but also I just got

1014
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 1: a lot of peace because we kind of made amends

1015
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: with each other, and um, yeah, it was what I

1016
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 1: thought it was and the best thing that I've ever

1017
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: gotten to And the like acceptance piece of what was

1018
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: happening was a direct reflection of the other person involved

1019
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 1: in my scenario, and that's what can you do about that.

1020
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 1: You can't do about that. So I didn't like the

1021
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 1: symptoms of that thing, and because of that, the relationship

1022
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 1: will never exist again. Um. But yeah, it's just it's

1023
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: really not personal a lot of times what people do. Yeah,

1024
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 1: and it's I guess it's from the outside looking in

1025
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: and with some space between it happening and today, it's

1026
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: you can look back on it or I could say like, um, yeah,

1027
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 1: you just can't buy into that, but it's happening to you.

1028
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: You know, it's happening, and in that particular instance, like

1029
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 1: it was happening to you publicly, so it was like yeah,

1030
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 1: I think like truthfully, you were more worried about that

1031
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: the perception because you're like, this is what people are

1032
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: going to think of me, but I think it wasn't true. Yeah,

1033
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 1: so it's but I think like in those moments, and

1034
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: this is such a a unique scenario because like, oh

1035
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: my god, that happened to me. But there is like

1036
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 1: you know, like someone at work can be like she's

1037
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 1: sleeping with everybody, you know, like they can say things

1038
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: that are not true. I think that like you have

1039
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: to know yourself and not have to worry about what

1040
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 1: people are saying about you and how people are judging

1041
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 1: you and all of that. Ship Like I think as

1042
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 1: you get older, um, and you experience more life, like

1043
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 1: you you learned that um, yeah, well you just said

1044
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: that that that I cared so much because um of

1045
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 1: the perception and that it wasn't it's not true for

1046
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 1: me and it wasn't what happened at all, and so

1047
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: that was really difficult. But I think I can relate

1048
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: it back to our listeners email in the way that

1049
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 1: I took it so personal, because you know, it was

1050
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: a nine year relationship, it was a real friendship. It

1051
00:58:56,800 --> 00:59:00,360
Speaker 1: was a real friendship, and it really fucking hurt. And

1052
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 1: so for me personally, there's a lot of grieving involved.

1053
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 1: And so I don't know if you feel that coming

1054
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: home from school every day, but I feel for you

1055
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 1: because that is a tough part of this process, and

1056
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,960
Speaker 1: it's a tough part of getting past what other people

1057
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 1: are saying to you or saying about you, or all

1058
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: of those things. And so I think that it is

1059
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 1: important to feel those feelings as uncomfortable as they maybe

1060
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 1: or like I didn't want to feel them because I

1061
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 1: didn't want to be dealing with that and it was

1062
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: very frustrating, um, but it's important. I mean, there was

1063
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 1: multiple days I got in my backyard and beat the

1064
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: ship out of an old trash can with a bat

1065
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 1: because I was so mad, you know, or like I

1066
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 1: started boxing. It's like, there's all these things that I've

1067
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: done to get these feelings out of my body, and

1068
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: I think that's a really important part of this process.

1069
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: And what's happened for me now is, um, I've run

1070
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:55,640
Speaker 1: into some other people from that situation, and I just don't.

1071
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 1: It doesn't affect me the same way. Like it's not

1072
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: like I'm like thrilled about it, but I don't. It

1073
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 1: doesn't have this power over me to make me crumble

1074
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 1: the way it would have in the past. And UM,

1075
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 1: I just think you have to get to acceptance within

1076
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: yourself and stop looking for it from those kind of

1077
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: people because they're just not capable at all. Right, Okay,

1078
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 1: last one, This one comes from Anna, and she said,

1079
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: mine's too long to type, but I'm gonna keep it

1080
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 1: real with you. I legit have sex and dating anxiety

1081
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 1: because the last I dated, the last guy I dated

1082
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 1: and had sex with, I didn't really care for him

1083
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 1: that much l O L and I hated every time

1084
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 1: we had sex. It's a weird feeling, kind of hard

1085
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 1: to explain, I guess. So now I'm scared to fall

1086
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 1: into that situation again. So I said, can I ask

1087
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 1: some questions? She said, yes, worry all in a relationship

1088
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: or just casual sex? She said, in a relationship for

1089
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: a little over a year, Okay, I said, this is interesting.

1090
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: Let me think on it. We'll address on the podcast.

1091
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 1: She said, I've never felt like this before. It was

1092
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 1: just so weird. Um. I said, how did it end?

1093
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: And she said, I think I realized I liked the

1094
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 1: idea of him and what he could be, and not

1095
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 1: not actually him. I thought sex would get better and

1096
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 1: was also confused that there was something wrong with me.

1097
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 1: I sound like an asshole. I felt bad for like

1098
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 1: a week after we break up. Broke up, but then

1099
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 1: I remembered what a douchebag asshole he was, and I

1100
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 1: was mad at myself that I stayed with him for

1101
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 1: so long. I just I'm scared to make the mistake again. Yeah,

1102
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 1: you can't answer. Yeah, she's looking for advice here, Bud.

1103
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:37,919
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna let you take

1104
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:41,240
Speaker 1: this one. Why you think this is right up my alley?

1105
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 1: Shots fired is what you're trying to say a little bit.

1106
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 1: But I don't think it's shots fired. Um, all right,

1107
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 1: I'll take it. God, you can't. We can't sit here

1108
01:01:55,280 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 1: in silence. It's the do do do do? Do? Do Do

1109
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 1: do do? I when I read that email the first time,

1110
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 1: are sorry? It was a d M. I um immediately

1111
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: thought of times in my life where I've self abandoned

1112
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: and to me, if I'm not in myself and I'm

1113
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 1: just doing something for the sake of doing it because

1114
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 1: I feel like I should, or because the other person

1115
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 1: wants to I especially sex, I can't connect either and

1116
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:25,919
Speaker 1: I don't like it, you know. And so I think

1117
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: as women, there is a huge pressure to do that. Unfortunately,

1118
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: like it's subconscious. I don't think we know we're doing it,

1119
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:36,760
Speaker 1: but there's a lot of programming around like just go

1120
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 1: be the good wife or the good girlfriend or this

1121
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: is what we do, you know. And I'm obviously just

1122
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 1: starting to break out of that mentality myself, like it's

1123
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 1: just like, no, it's not. No, it's not We deserve

1124
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 1: to have the same kind of happiness as anyone and

1125
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 1: that programming needs to die. So I just hear a

1126
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 1: lot of that in here. It's just like while we

1127
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: were dating for years, I thought I had to or

1128
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 1: I up to having sex with them, but I didn't

1129
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 1: like it, you know. And it's like instead of us

1130
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 1: saying ourselves, huh, my body is just like not responding, well,

1131
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: I don't like this. We're sort of like stuff that

1132
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: feeling down and we let our minds take over and

1133
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 1: we're like, but I should like this, so I'm gonna

1134
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 1: do it. The funny thing I thought was at the

1135
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: end of it, she says, I walked away and after

1136
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 1: a week of being sad, I remembered what a douchebag

1137
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 1: asshole it was. And I'm like, so, of course you

1138
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to have sex with them. Who wants to

1139
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: day to doucee bag douchebag asshole? Yeah, I mean it's

1140
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us UM find ourselves in

1141
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: situations that go on well past their expiration date, you know,

1142
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 1: and it can be scary because like when you end

1143
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: a relationship with somebody, it's it can change a lot

1144
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 1: of things in your life. You know, it changes your schedule,

1145
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,600
Speaker 1: your habits, it might change where you live if you're

1146
01:03:56,640 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: living together. Like there there can be a dominoque to

1147
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 1: um finally sort of uh accepting the truth of you

1148
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 1: not being happy in the situation, and it is really scary.

1149
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 1: I mean, my my last relationship, like I UM, I

1150
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: couldn't put my finger on why I wasn't happy, and

1151
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 1: it was like it wasn't abusive and we weren't fighting, like,

1152
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 1: but I just wasn't happy and um, and I let

1153
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 1: it drag on for longer than it should have, and

1154
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: it was I think there was also fear of like

1155
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 1: hurting him, I know, I know, like, Um, I realized

1156
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: it was self I knew it was selfish. Um. I

1157
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:47,920
Speaker 1: just couldn't put my finger on it. You know. So

1158
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 1: even when we finally got to the breakup portion, um,

1159
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 1: the like act of breaking up, like I didn't know

1160
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 1: what to say, like, you know, I felt like a

1161
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: cow word um and um. But the truth was I

1162
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 1: just wasn't into it, like I had fallen out of love.

1163
01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 1: And it's like what a mean thing to say to something,

1164
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 1: Like it's just such a hurtful thing to say to somebody,

1165
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: but it's it was even worse like having him every

1166
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:21,760
Speaker 1: day feel like walking on eggshells around me and like

1167
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 1: what is going on here? And um, and there was,

1168
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 1: you know, there was. You can love a human without

1169
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: being in love with them, you know, And it's, um,

1170
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: the literally last thing you want to do is have

1171
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 1: sex with somebody when you're well, like when you're in

1172
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 1: that position like you're just like because it's you're you're

1173
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 1: mad at yourself. Um um. You know, obviously my situation

1174
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:51,880
Speaker 1: was different because he wasn't a douche bag, you know, like,

1175
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 1: but I do think probably there were similarities because I

1176
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: was scared of what my life was going to become,

1177
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: because I had gotten used to this being my life.

1178
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,800
Speaker 1: So I think that like, people find themselves in that

1179
01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: situation a lot, like even when there's like abuse and

1180
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 1: things like, like you're just scared of change, and in

1181
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 1: those situations, I think it's always best just to um um,

1182
01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 1: choose yourself. Like I know it feels really selfish and um,

1183
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 1: but you have you feel so much better once you

1184
01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:31,400
Speaker 1: choose yourself. I agree with that. Yeah, stop self abandoning

1185
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 1: and choose yourself. And the way I think you avoided

1186
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,959
Speaker 1: in the next relationship is to know what you want,

1187
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 1: so make the list. Like you know, something that's so

1188
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 1: interesting about me? I you know, I do all this

1189
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 1: work right, like I'm I love let me say and

1190
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,720
Speaker 1: let me take that back. I see so much value

1191
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 1: in therapy, in spiritual work and connection and you know,

1192
01:06:56,600 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: healing old traumas and growing as a person that stuff.

1193
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: Like I'm constantly reading books and trying different kinds of

1194
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:06,280
Speaker 1: help and all that stuff, and do you know it

1195
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 1: was never on my list in a partner until now

1196
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,080
Speaker 1: they know that they are on a spiritual journey of

1197
01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 1: their own. Literally, why the funk is that not at

1198
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,400
Speaker 1: the top of my list? It's literally probably the most

1199
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 1: important thing to me in my own life, and I

1200
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:25,840
Speaker 1: have not had enough self awareness about that being as

1201
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:30,320
Speaker 1: important to me as it was or is until now. Yeah,

1202
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 1: I just want so interesting. It is interesting, But I

1203
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 1: feel like, but we also hear things like opposites attract,

1204
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:42,080
Speaker 1: like don't date yourself, Like there's those things that like

1205
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:48,600
Speaker 1: you're hearing too that like play into that. Like I just, honestly,

1206
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 1: I think it was more like I just wasn't being

1207
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 1: honest with myself or I wasn't I think I was

1208
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: scared it didn't exist, and so I got scared to

1209
01:07:58,560 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: even write it down or ask for it. Right. And

1210
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:05,280
Speaker 1: the thing about opposites attract this this lady I follow

1211
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,200
Speaker 1: Amy Chance. She's also been on the podcast She's like

1212
01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:10,439
Speaker 1: the Breakup boot Camp Expert. She actually posted something about

1213
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:12,200
Speaker 1: that today, oddly, which is funny that you said it,

1214
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:16,479
Speaker 1: but she said, we're told that, but actually in most

1215
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 1: successful marriages that people have very similar values, they have

1216
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 1: very similar or they have similar interests of some sort,

1217
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:29,839
Speaker 1: and they even are like the same level of attractedness,

1218
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 1: Like you know, that's actually attractiveness. You're right, thank you? Um,

1219
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:42,760
Speaker 1: but yeah, like because then so that actually isn't opposite.

1220
01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously there's gonna be things you're not completely

1221
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 1: aligned on or whatever. But I think it really is

1222
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,759
Speaker 1: important to really ask yourself, like what are your core

1223
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:53,800
Speaker 1: values and what are the things that you just like

1224
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:57,599
Speaker 1: you're non negotiables, you know, and not straight away from that.

1225
01:08:57,640 --> 01:08:59,360
Speaker 1: I know anytime I've done that in my life, the

1226
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:05,680
Speaker 1: relationship explodes, right right, Yeah, I mean yeah, I think

1227
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:07,800
Speaker 1: you can look back on any other relationships in your

1228
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 1: life that didn't work and probably go back to the

1229
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:16,000
Speaker 1: first week and identified a lot of the red flags

1230
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,160
Speaker 1: where you're like, well why did this wasn't gonna work?

1231
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:21,160
Speaker 1: But like the sex was great or you know, not

1232
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:22,960
Speaker 1: that you were having sex in the first week, but

1233
01:09:23,479 --> 01:09:34,720
Speaker 1: um yeah, oh yeah, give me hot Hey tonight after

1234
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 1: work we're going to talk about nobody give you a

1235
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 1: PCR where we get off nasal swabs the negative result. Um. Anyway,

1236
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 1: I'm sure like you can look back on things most

1237
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 1: relationships that end up Boreley and be like, oh well, ship,

1238
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:02,200
Speaker 1: all the signs were there. I saw them, and I

1239
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:05,439
Speaker 1: chose to fucking step right over that because of the shilds,

1240
01:10:05,479 --> 01:10:09,720
Speaker 1: like we should all over ourselves, because most of us

1241
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: were also programmed that we have to be in fucking relationships,

1242
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:17,639
Speaker 1: you know, like I it's it starts as a child.

1243
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:24,719
Speaker 1: It's like fucking princesses, Barbie and Ken like, you know, it's, yeah,

1244
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 1: why why isn't there a Disney move about loving yourself? Right?

1245
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:30,760
Speaker 1: I think they're starting to make that transition, I heard

1246
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,760
Speaker 1: because they've gotten so much ship about the toxic kind

1247
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:37,160
Speaker 1: of relationships. They're pitching the kids, like the woman comes

1248
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:40,040
Speaker 1: and gets rescued and it's like, then her life is

1249
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,439
Speaker 1: great and whatever. I'm like, that's a recipe for love addiction.

1250
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:50,599
Speaker 1: Whoah the shiny night. Yeah. I mean, seriously, Disney better

1251
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:55,839
Speaker 1: come with some self love asap or they're like totally canceled. Anyway.

1252
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,160
Speaker 1: I think it all goes back to to know what

1253
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,640
Speaker 1: you want yourself and not to be aired like it

1254
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:03,400
Speaker 1: does exist. I actually have finally hit this point where

1255
01:11:03,439 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, every single kind of thing that any person

1256
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 1: could want exist. This is a whole world of people

1257
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 1: and it's out there, and it's just like, go put

1258
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,720
Speaker 1: yourself in these situations where you're around people with that

1259
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:21,120
Speaker 1: are like minded, you know, or um, you're not like

1260
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:24,200
Speaker 1: just going after this sense Like if I keep going

1261
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:27,000
Speaker 1: after random guys in Nashville or whatever for the rest

1262
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 1: of my life, I may not find what I want.

1263
01:11:29,439 --> 01:11:35,200
Speaker 1: But if I keeping to music and go to Bridgetown

1264
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:38,920
Speaker 1: Arena and be like a concert, no, but I mean,

1265
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,439
Speaker 1: I told you I went to this conference this weekend

1266
01:11:41,439 --> 01:11:43,360
Speaker 1: and I was shocked thinking it was going to be

1267
01:11:43,400 --> 01:11:46,400
Speaker 1: all women there to work on their feminine energy, and

1268
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:49,160
Speaker 1: there was a ton of single men who would come

1269
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,920
Speaker 1: on their own, and I was just like, oh, these

1270
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:54,800
Speaker 1: people do exist. You know, I'm not ready to date yet,

1271
01:11:54,840 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 1: but like they're out there and only two Okay, I'm

1272
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 1: just kidding. I'm kidding, Mom. That did not happen, um,

1273
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 1: But it was just for me. It was a really

1274
01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:12,200
Speaker 1: good practice of seeing that what I want is actually

1275
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:14,840
Speaker 1: out there and I just have to start opening my

1276
01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:18,519
Speaker 1: eyes to that and accepting that and not being scared

1277
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:22,559
Speaker 1: of what my true my true wants in a relationship are.

1278
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:25,160
Speaker 1: I think it's been really scared. Only you can make

1279
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:28,840
Speaker 1: you happy, you know. It's yeah, it's only you can

1280
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:35,400
Speaker 1: make you happy, and it's I think a relationship can enhance. Yeah,

1281
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 1: but I think that relationship is going to be easier

1282
01:12:37,960 --> 01:12:45,679
Speaker 1: to find, an easier to um uh foster once you're happy, yeah,

1283
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:48,960
Speaker 1: with yourself. You know, I do agree with that. You

1284
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:51,680
Speaker 1: have to have the courage to say this is you know,

1285
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:53,240
Speaker 1: make your list, this is what I want, This is

1286
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:54,720
Speaker 1: what's going to make me happy. This is what I

1287
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:56,679
Speaker 1: know is going to make me happy, and I don't

1288
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:59,200
Speaker 1: care how people feel about it, like this is my boundary,

1289
01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 1: like we're talking about earlier. Yeah, I'm starting to learn

1290
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:04,280
Speaker 1: all of these things. A little late to the game

1291
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:09,080
Speaker 1: totally actually, like Emil to the game. No, everyone's on

1292
01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 1: a different journey, you know, it's fuck it. I'm right

1293
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:17,439
Speaker 1: on time, timeline. You are right on time. Okay. And

1294
01:13:17,479 --> 01:13:21,640
Speaker 1: on that note, um when you guys, I hope we've

1295
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:23,360
Speaker 1: answered your questions about Oh you know, what else I

1296
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,920
Speaker 1: want to say is we get I get more d

1297
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,120
Speaker 1: m s about this stuff than people emailing. If you

1298
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 1: have a longer story, don't be afraid to email the

1299
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:33,439
Speaker 1: edge at the Velvet. If I could get the email

1300
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:38,240
Speaker 1: right there. Probably the Edge at Velvet's Edge dot com, UM,

1301
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:41,040
Speaker 1: because I do check it, I promise, and I think

1302
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:44,560
Speaker 1: sometimes the long d m s can be hard for everybody,

1303
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:46,760
Speaker 1: so send them to the email if you have a

1304
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:48,120
Speaker 1: lot of questions or if you have a lot of

1305
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:50,479
Speaker 1: thoughts you want to share with us. UM, it's the

1306
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:54,000
Speaker 1: edge at velvet Edge dot com. My Instagram is at

1307
01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:58,559
Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge. Chip Mine is at chip dorsh, which is

1308
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:03,720
Speaker 1: h P d O R. Speaking of d ms, I

1309
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:05,640
Speaker 1: get d m s referencing you all the time, and

1310
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:08,599
Speaker 1: the P is capital. It's like c h I capital.

1311
01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm so glad to notice that one day that you

1312
01:14:12,640 --> 01:14:18,439
Speaker 1: did that. All right, Well, when you guys are going

1313
01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:22,160
Speaker 1: into your weekend and it's freezing fucking gold here, so

1314
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:24,760
Speaker 1: it is around the rest of the company, but I

1315
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 1: am in no your falls. I don't want to hear

1316
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:30,000
Speaker 1: what the cold is. It's cool to me. I'm from

1317
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 1: the Louisiana. I can't survive in Canada. Uh. When you're

1318
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:38,320
Speaker 1: going into your weekend, hope you're staying warm. I hope

1319
01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:40,400
Speaker 1: that you're living your best life, and I hope that

1320
01:14:40,439 --> 01:14:44,719
Speaker 1: you always remember too casual you know what I forgot

1321
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:48,360
Speaker 1: to say. I hope you're living on the edge. I

1322
01:14:48,439 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 1: thought I did it so well. I flowed better, the

1323
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:54,360
Speaker 1: flow was there. Live on the edge and always remember

1324
01:14:54,439 --> 01:14:58,200
Speaker 1: to act casual. I'm never going to get it right.

1325
01:14:58,280 --> 01:15:01,360
Speaker 1: Let's all just accept it, Okay. That's the fun part

1326
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:04,240
Speaker 1: of saying it. Alright, alright, bye bye