Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of emergency, and are calm.
Speaker 2: I'm in the hospital.
Speaker 1: You're not in the hospital. We can see that you're
Speaker 1: like not in the hospital.
Speaker 2: Wait, did you get your back ground?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was gonna say, did you get your assistant
Speaker 1: to move all your furniture and stuff to the hospital.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wanted it to feel more like home. So as
Speaker 2: you can see, I have blue comforter now I normally
Speaker 2: have a white comforter that's actually the hospital bed. And
Speaker 2: I just put some plushes and shit on it.
Speaker 1: I thought that was like the techless stuff that they
Speaker 1: gave you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're right, it is techless and ni shit.
Speaker 2: It's like it's just like I kind of made it.
Speaker 1: It's easy.
Speaker 2: I kind of made it. So I just feel good
Speaker 2: about myself. I feel happy, amazing.
Speaker 1: I think what you need, like, Okay, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: really real and like if it's too much, you tell me.
Speaker 1: I think what needs to happen to you is you
Speaker 1: need to go out for dinner with friends and it's
Speaker 1: like a really good dinner, right, and it's like so good,
Speaker 1: and like you usually don't get a drink, but you
Speaker 1: got a drink this night and you had a blast.
Speaker 1: It was like just like the perfect amount like loosening
Speaker 1: you up. You had like absolutely no perception of like
Speaker 1: being perceived, like you just felt awesome. You had a
Speaker 1: laugh with your girls, you know what. And even on
Speaker 1: top of that, photos were taking of you and your
Speaker 1: friends and you looked at them immediately and you were like,
Speaker 1: this is like what I'm going to show my kids.
Speaker 1: These are the people that I love. Like whatever. And
Speaker 1: then you're walking to your driver because at this you
Speaker 1: have a driver. Your life is like so set up,
Speaker 1: you're not even you don't have to call an uber,
Speaker 1: like your driver's outside. Yeah, the driver for some reason
Speaker 1: is an extra block away, and you're like, whatever, I'll
Speaker 1: just walk to him. I don't want them to do
Speaker 1: like a loop. It's nice. Now I'm gonna walk. As
Speaker 1: you're walking, somebody you don't know comes up hits you
Speaker 1: straight in the nose. You immediately start bleeding. You fall
Speaker 1: to the floor. They're kicking you in the stomach, but
Speaker 1: you're so shocked by being hit in the face that
Speaker 1: you don't you're in shock, so you don't even feel
Speaker 1: the blows. And then they dig in your pockets and
Speaker 1: they take your wallet and they take your iPhone, and
Speaker 1: at this point, you have the iPhone fifteen because Apple
Speaker 1: gave it to you before it came out, and you're just.
Speaker 2: They are left there. They gave me the eleven and
Speaker 2: twelve and thirteen before it came out. I have the fourteen,
Speaker 2: but I had to keep it like really on the low.
Speaker 1: Because is this your takeaway from me saying you should
Speaker 1: be jumped?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I'm just saying that I have all I
Speaker 2: get all the iPhones, all the Apple products early, like
Speaker 2: that's why, like I'm.
Speaker 1: So lit, and that's why you were saw after to
Speaker 1: be jumped.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, I mean.
Speaker 1: Basically, you get beat up. I think you need to
Speaker 1: get beat up. That's what I'm saying. I think you
Speaker 1: need to get like absolutely demolished by sture.
Speaker 2: I just I wouldn't let that happen, Like even in
Speaker 2: the hypothetical, like that just couldn't happen.
Speaker 1: What would you do in the hypothetical, Like what would
Speaker 1: you change? You're a bit an email?
Speaker 2: I have a gun in the hypothetical and a bomb.
Speaker 1: Sorry, the police are after me because they found out
Speaker 1: that I called a hit man on you. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm admitting because I called a hit man on you
Speaker 1: what you said you had a gun and a ball. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're in a residential neighborhood.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck about the civilians. I'll blow
Speaker 2: them all straight up. Also, I worked out today. I
Speaker 2: have a nice little pump going.
Speaker 1: I want to pump you.
Speaker 2: Damn damn. Okay, well I haven't worked out. Hold on,
Speaker 2: I think I'll win it. Yes, hold on, is my
Speaker 2: mic peeking? It sounds like it's peaking. It could just
Speaker 2: be me. Okay, a little room updated rooms here, room tour. Uh,
Speaker 2: you're drunk. I drank this new protein powder because I
Speaker 2: got vegan protein powder because it's like, I do not
Speaker 2: need that much shit going into my body, that much dairy.
Speaker 2: And I got a vegan protein powder, and it was
Speaker 2: the most rancid thing in the world that I've ever
Speaker 2: put in my body. It was It literally made me dizzy.
Speaker 2: It tastes fermented. It was like flaky and gritty.
Speaker 1: It was alcohol.
Speaker 2: But yeah, the protein powder was literally rancid. It was
Speaker 2: just like ground up peas and legumes and grass and shit.
Speaker 2: It literally tastes like I went to a freshly cut lawn. Actually, no,
Speaker 2: three day old. The grash was already dried up, and
Speaker 2: I ground that up into a powder and drink.
Speaker 1: It was into the little like piles. Okay, do they
Speaker 1: make lawnmowers that like suck that shit up? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Right, uh I think, But they also have like leaf blowers,
Speaker 2: But they do have ones with backpacks on that like
Speaker 2: does like big vacuums, but I think they're less used.
Speaker 1: But so your protein powder sex balls or it tastes
Speaker 1: like balls, it has you like gas up.
Speaker 2: I'm also curious if it's because I did two scoops
Speaker 2: of protein pattern instead of one in the serving, and
Speaker 2: then I also added marine college into it. So I'm
Speaker 2: curious if it had a reaction or if I didn't
Speaker 2: have enough water.
Speaker 1: Well, while I've been in New York, I've definitely drank
Speaker 1: more than I ever usually do. And now are you
Speaker 1: serving while I talk?
Speaker 2: Yeah, a fucking course.
Speaker 3: My god.
Speaker 1: But I genuinely think I'm gonna have to go back
Speaker 1: to LA and like go to the hospital.
Speaker 2: Because we're taking you to rehab. Girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had too much of a problem. No, but
Speaker 1: I think like the mix of it, like I still am.
Speaker 1: What I will say is I was talking about this
Speaker 1: last night to a friend. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: feel good that I've had like more to drink than
Speaker 1: I usually do. But what I do feel good about
Speaker 1: is like I've hit like a really good point of
Speaker 1: self control, where like even when I'm like I'm being
Speaker 1: crazy right now, it's always like and at three or
Speaker 1: four drinks and like it's over like such a long
Speaker 1: time that I'm never like I never wake up anymore,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I feel like shit. I just like
Speaker 1: because i have like insane guilt about like substances, I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh my God, like I'm gonna die. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna die. But it's like never that deep. But because
Speaker 1: of that and because of my caffeine intake and now
Speaker 1: that I'm a Coca Cola drinker, I think I am
Speaker 1: two steps away from a kidney stone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And what that being said, let's have a shit
Speaker 2: a sip, shall we? Yeah? You've been in that fashion Week.
Speaker 2: I flew out for literally twenty four hours, I think it.
Speaker 1: Was, which was awesome.
Speaker 2: Same thing I've ever done in my entire life, Like
Speaker 2: the one of the most erratic decisions I've ever made,
Speaker 2: probably the most erratic decision. But I was at like
Speaker 2: the the I was, I was hanging out with Yoster
Speaker 2: and they were like, I'm I'm gonna have so much
Speaker 2: fomo about the party and about New York in general
Speaker 2: and everything, and I was like, oh, trust my fomo
Speaker 2: is like actually insane, Like I think I've gotten over
Speaker 2: it a little bit recently, but it is like it's dangerous.
Speaker 2: My fomo is dangerous. It's a danger to me myself
Speaker 2: and others like it's it really it could become an
Speaker 2: actual problem. So last second, we decided to book like
Speaker 2: flights for the next day at midnight to fly to
Speaker 2: New York and then fly out thirty six hours later
Speaker 2: and have a little have a little fun while I
Speaker 2: was there. But this is like I just got back
Speaker 2: two days prior, so I was in New York for
Speaker 2: a month, and then I flew back for two days
Speaker 2: worked out of course, obviously, and then I hopped on
Speaker 2: a plane the very next day to go back to
Speaker 2: New York. And it was actually insane. It I feel
Speaker 2: like it could have been more fun, Like I could
Speaker 2: have had more fun and made more out of it,
Speaker 2: but I was just so fucking exhausted, Like I was
Speaker 2: so ti ty.
Speaker 1: I feel like you had like a really good time though,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like you you were like on such
Speaker 1: a good one that night, and I was like, Dawn,
Speaker 1: I literally was jealous, Like I was so jealous of
Speaker 1: like how much fun you seemed like you were having.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just like I had to have fun, Like
Speaker 2: I it would have been like the biggest waste of
Speaker 2: money ever if I didn't have fun.
Speaker 1: So it would have been a financial hole of a decision.
Speaker 2: Speaking of financial holes and me literally being robbed, me
Speaker 2: being robbed, Like we don't have to go into details,
Speaker 2: but I was robbed by an acquaintance.
Speaker 1: And a mass robbing.
Speaker 2: It was insane, uncomfortable, boiled my fucking blood. I've never
Speaker 2: been taken advantage of in this way before you say that.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like on call with you right now,
Speaker 1: like literally, hello, oh.
Speaker 2: You just steal out of my bank account. It's different, I.
Speaker 1: Guess because you don't stop me. Ever, you're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: she needs to stop doing that. Like, but you say
Speaker 1: that to people, you don't say like yeah, like it
Speaker 1: and I needed the Burken like I needed it yeah
Speaker 1: for fashion week.
Speaker 2: Yeah I don't know. I don't think you needed it.
Speaker 1: Well, they were taking pictures of me and I needed
Speaker 1: my broken for fashion week. That okay, let's talk about
Speaker 1: this fashion week. If you are like all the people
Speaker 1: who like partake in like the stopping for their photos
Speaker 1: on the like, this is such a nightmare. Like my
Speaker 1: biggest nightmare is having to have a photo taken of
Speaker 1: me by someone who doesn't know me, and I don't
Speaker 1: know them, and they're just kind of guessing if I'm
Speaker 1: important And most times I don't seem that important because
Speaker 1: I'm not wearing like the boo boo the fool.
Speaker 2: You're not.
Speaker 1: Like, That's the thing is, especially seeing those rooms. I
Speaker 1: am not and I'm okay with that, Like I am
Speaker 1: okay with being like the least important person in the room.
Speaker 1: I do not want to go into those rooms and
Speaker 1: like be like looked at. It's such a weird game.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just thought about that because like, ill stop,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't.
Speaker 2: Like, girl, the cops are going off today and you
Speaker 2: said blue lives matter.
Speaker 1: No I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 1: What's I think? I farted? No, I literally farted. He
Speaker 1: forgot to turn off his mic and he fucking tooted.
Speaker 3: Fuck I thought it was Yeah, I thought, I muted.
Speaker 2: Do you want camera privilege?
Speaker 3: Yes? Please beg me? Oh my god true? Can I
Speaker 3: please have camera privileges?
Speaker 1: The thing is Kay's in like a dark, scary room,
Speaker 1: Like Kayle looks like he's like being held somewhere.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: When I saw this background, I was like, are you okay?
Speaker 1: Turn turn turn on the camera.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, I'm just in it like a room. It's
Speaker 3: like a normal rooms.
Speaker 1: You were in a brick home, You're in someone's basement.
Speaker 3: I am in someone's basement. Yeah, actually, yeah, this is
Speaker 3: literally a basement.
Speaker 1: Is it actually?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 3: It actually is? But like for real, I'm dead ass, like,
Speaker 3: this is a basement in an apartment in New York.
Speaker 1: Are you cold?
Speaker 3: It's pretty cold. It's really wet too. The floor is
Speaker 3: really wet.
Speaker 2: Is it a dirt floor?
Speaker 1: That's probably from you squirting all over it?
Speaker 3: At that It's it's like their fault, you know, you know,
Speaker 3: like those chambers that Jagsaw would put people in in
Speaker 3: the Saw movies.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like that, and you're okay with that.
Speaker 3: I'm okay with it. I like getting treated like that.
Speaker 2: It's crazy how you've ignored every single question I've asked
Speaker 2: and answered all of vinyas, it's.
Speaker 3: Just like I prioritize, I prioritize attention from women because they,
Speaker 3: you know, they should be put on a pedestal.
Speaker 2: In my opinion, honestly, I agree with that, Like why
Speaker 2: do you all have.
Speaker 1: To turn everything into like proving that you don't hate women?
Speaker 1: You thinking for that answer, Like.
Speaker 3: I'll stop talking, so I guess you just continue. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, I'm just gonna I'm gonna continue like writing
Speaker 3: my notes and doing all the back end stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'm gonna get arrested in a second, so
Speaker 1: you keep.
Speaker 2: Cops are coming. They're literally out and about and proud.
Speaker 1: But what I was saying is, yeah, it was so embarrassing,
Speaker 1: Like I know, like I haven't posted about being a
Speaker 1: fashion week kind of but like just so that people
Speaker 1: know the reality of it is, I one had to
Speaker 1: tap out early like I did the weekend, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I cannot do this anymore because it is
Speaker 1: the most humiliating thing ever, Like I cannot believe people
Speaker 1: have the kind of like self importance and confidence and
Speaker 1: not even in like a bashful way, like God bless
Speaker 1: that I wish I had that kind of like self
Speaker 1: importance and like belief in myself to like walk a
Speaker 1: red carpet and like because like the photographers can like
Speaker 1: feel like the energy of if they think you are
Speaker 1: important and if you are not like serving that you're
Speaker 1: Kai Kai. Your camera is on?
Speaker 3: What's up?
Speaker 1: Your camera is on? Are you drinking?
Speaker 3: No? No? This is water?
Speaker 2: Why do you have water in?
Speaker 3: It's like a propel.
Speaker 2: It's like tequila, Like why are you actually no, You're
Speaker 2: you're done, Like you're done camera?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? I'm done?
Speaker 2: Camera off?
Speaker 1: We need to get a replacement for that guy I know,
Speaker 1: like who is saying no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the confidence it's it's like I was saying about
Speaker 2: like people who act in performing musicals and people who
Speaker 2: act in general and can perform on stage like that
Speaker 2: is so humiliating and the only way to combat that
Speaker 2: humiliation is being confident in yourself. And I wish I
Speaker 2: had that. I lack so much self confidence. Also, imposter
Speaker 2: syndrome has been going crazy lately.
Speaker 1: I know, I walk into a room and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I broke into this room. I'm like I snuck behind
Speaker 1: the security, Like it's so bad. Like like also just
Speaker 1: like also I'm very grateful for being able to be
Speaker 1: in the rooms, but I wish I had the like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was invited into this room, so I'm happy to
Speaker 1: be here. It was like I feel like I forced
Speaker 1: them to let me in the room for some reason,
Speaker 1: and then I don't feel important. Basically, what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is at that like Harper's bizarre thing, like I'm very
Speaker 1: hopeful that those photos never see the light of day
Speaker 1: and that they were never posted because no photographer who
Speaker 1: took a photo me was confident in taking the photo
Speaker 1: of me. It was literally Pitofi liked did I explain
Speaker 1: this to you? Like literally, I like show up to
Speaker 1: this c event and there's like like celebrities there, and
Speaker 1: like I do not warant myself as a celebrity, Like
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm just like random comedian who like does
Speaker 1: my things. Like I would never see like John Mulaney
Speaker 1: on that carpet, although there was like a few comedians there,
Speaker 1: but they were like so far in their career that
Speaker 1: I'm like, I was like I should be here, Like
Speaker 1: this is weird that I'm here. But even though there
Speaker 1: was like a plethora of like the spectrum of like
Speaker 1: people there, like it was like a huge like whatever
Speaker 1: range and like it was.
Speaker 2: The thing of other other side of the range.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm literally like I'm like weird niche on the internet,
Speaker 1: like extremist. No, I'm not. No, Drew, stop, you have
Speaker 1: to stop, Like we can't publicize that stuff because.
Speaker 2: Like, well you said blue Lives matter. I'm a Republican,
Speaker 2: we should be a.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't say that. You're saying all of that.
Speaker 1: I would never publicly say that because I'm smart.
Speaker 2: Do you mean by that.
Speaker 1: The idea that life in our private time we're like.
Speaker 2: Just like blue Lives matter? Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I would literally pay money to see a timeline
Speaker 1: where we're sitting at coffee and we're like, and that's
Speaker 1: my thing, Like I just need on a shirt or something.
Speaker 2: Literally this thing I got into an uber. Oh this
Speaker 2: is actually crazy. I got so. I was in your
Speaker 2: hotel room and I was hopping in an uber to
Speaker 2: go to the party. And I walk out and it's
Speaker 2: like a kind of fancy hotel, I guess, and like
Speaker 2: other people, cool people were staying there or whatever. Are
Speaker 2: my eyes too close together? I feel like they are.
Speaker 2: I think I'm just now realizing it.
Speaker 1: Your eyes are not too close together.
Speaker 2: But I guess they were like important people in that
Speaker 2: hotel that we weren't aware of because they were like
Speaker 2: paparazzi out front and I walk out and the paparazzi
Speaker 2: take mad photos of me, because oh that was the.
Speaker 1: Night there was a really purple magazine had a party on.
Speaker 2: The rowears that night. But I saw like a bunch
Speaker 2: of people that I knew, and a couple of people
Speaker 2: are like, hey, Drew, like I love the pod, Like whatever,
Speaker 2: I walk to my Uber. My Uber has a giant
Speaker 2: Blue Lives Matter flag on the back, not giant, like
Speaker 2: this big blue Lives Matter flag on the back of
Speaker 2: the car. And I'm like, these people just watched me
Speaker 2: get into this car with the Blue Lives Matter flag,
Speaker 2: Like what is going on? I hope they don't think
Speaker 2: anything of that. But I was also like, brave of
Speaker 2: you to like be driving for Uber and to run that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, It's just like, yeah, it is pretty crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like, also, is it that deep? Is anything you
Speaker 1: believe in? That deep? Put that ship on your car?
Speaker 1: Like really, Mitch, no, make me crash into the back
Speaker 1: of your fucking still not important. I'll crash into that
Speaker 1: thing if I see something that's intent because I'm gonna
Speaker 1: drive literally Also like that's not my business. I'm not planning,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not more likely to hit you if I
Speaker 1: don't know that there's a baby on board.
Speaker 2: Like also I maybe see a baby on board sticker
Speaker 2: I intentionally swear towards those cars. It's just like this
Speaker 2: thing like need I guess you're testing.
Speaker 1: You're also testing parental instincts, so like we need that
Speaker 1: and yeah, natural selection, like of course, like God gave
Speaker 1: us cars so we could, Like He'll be.
Speaker 2: One that I quoted about that like dear that was
Speaker 2: on the side of the road and it was like,
Speaker 2: hold on, let me find it, keep going, but wait,
Speaker 2: let me.
Speaker 1: Finish my awfully embarrassing, fucking Harper's Bizarre party. Very grateful
Speaker 1: that I got to go. It was a blast once
Speaker 1: I got insied. But like I I think I'm realizing,
Speaker 1: like I just don't. I'm like, like I've said, I'm
Speaker 1: an EmPATH. Like I'm just like like we're no different
Speaker 1: from each other, like you and me, as if you
Speaker 1: were like we are just people.
Speaker 2: Wait, I saw TikTok the other day saying like enya
Speaker 2: once a day on the pot or once an episode
Speaker 2: saying she's an impath, and I was like, there's no way,
Speaker 2: Like that's a reach. She doesn't say that, you literally
Speaker 2: just said it.
Speaker 1: I love I know I say it at this point,
Speaker 1: I think because I used to say it seriously and
Speaker 1: now I'm like, okay, bitch, yeah, I'm so sure. We're
Speaker 1: like I can be a cunt.
Speaker 2: This is a quote. One day, while doing nothing particularly
Speaker 2: out of the ordinary, because of natural laws, he was
Speaker 2: completely powerless. Oh yeah, understand or into it. He was
Speaker 2: killed instantly in a horrifying way by forces vastly in
Speaker 2: excess of anything he was ever designed to experience, for
Speaker 2: no reason, to no one's particular surprise or upset. In
Speaker 2: this we are more like him than different. That's me
Speaker 2: talking to the babies about natural in the car.
Speaker 1: After you fucking get the car. Are so whatever. I'm
Speaker 1: at this thing and I like feel I already feel
Speaker 1: like a fool because I think it's like very foolish
Speaker 1: for me to Andryan Beef, yes, because I fucked up
Speaker 1: and I made oryan late like it's squashed, but I
Speaker 1: really fucked up. That's the other thing. I'm like, damn, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know how everybody's so self sufficient and knows
Speaker 1: where to go and like and keep contract like next
Speaker 1: time I do like a fashion week, I need adderall bad,
Speaker 1: Like a Ivance needs to be put on my nightstand. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Vance needs to be put on my fucking nightstand because
Speaker 1: I forget like instantly. It's actually insane. And I kept
Speaker 1: sending people wrong addresses and telling people wrong things because
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, that's how I remember it, and
Speaker 1: it wasn't really.
Speaker 2: Well just literally like making people late. I think you
Speaker 2: get off on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah I do. No, it actually be so much anxiety.
Speaker 1: But I refused to view it well yeah, because it
Speaker 1: was like the fucking Fight for your Life challenge.
Speaker 2: It was literally a war zone to get in there.
Speaker 1: I have something else about that that's really funny and embarrassing,
Speaker 1: but anyways, I was like, oh, yeah, so I get
Speaker 1: pushed onto this carpet and literally someone famous is in
Speaker 1: front of me, and then it's me, and then it's
Speaker 1: a famous person. Bitch the silence. In my session it
Speaker 1: went for like.
Speaker 4: Photos to like oh literally, like if I.
Speaker 1: Was a photographer, they were like this. They were like.
Speaker 2: They pulled out their iPhone to take a pure of
Speaker 2: you and then they were like moving along.
Speaker 1: Literally with their fucking big as DSLRs. They were like,
Speaker 1: and then I do. It was just so embarrassing. And
Speaker 1: then because there was such a lull, some of them
Speaker 1: started taking photos of me out of like like literally pity.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: pity bitch. I don't want to be here. My team
Speaker 1: said I have to be here, but like, thank thank
Speaker 1: god I got invited, like I'm grateful for it. But
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, no, this is like a
Speaker 1: thing where like they feel bad for me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm important, so you.
Speaker 2: Don't have to feel behind you. We're so embarrassed. They
Speaker 2: were like, oh, that has to be the worst vibe.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I almost cried because I wanted to
Speaker 1: kill myself because I was like, this is just beyond
Speaker 1: a natural, like this should not even be a set
Speaker 1: up in general.
Speaker 2: Fucking weird, Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is so odd. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, hopefully, one day in the future, like if
Speaker 1: like I continue on my path, like that won't have
Speaker 1: to happen to me again. Because I was like, I
Speaker 1: genuinely cannot believe that people like are just so like
Speaker 1: tunnel visions for what they want that they are willing
Speaker 1: to like do that a bunch of times until it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's no doubt that you should be there. But I
Speaker 1: was like, I, this is so scary.
Speaker 2: I'm going to create a reverse red carpet where it's
Speaker 2: a bunch of celebrities taking pictures of paparazzi.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then the proparazzi will fucking cry and kill
Speaker 1: themselves because then they'll get extonstential about the way they
Speaker 1: like put people on a pedesel. But I guess we
Speaker 1: need to.
Speaker 2: Back paparazzi in the vicious way we just for me though.
Speaker 1: You just want attention. You just want attent and you
Speaker 1: but yeah, And then the other thing is I got
Speaker 1: really insecure about pulling up to the Heaven event and
Speaker 1: like because I was like, oh, I'm scared that people
Speaker 1: will like see me step out of one. I was
Speaker 1: going alone, which already I was like, this is embarrassing.
Speaker 1: I hate getting in a car and being seen alone.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, oh my god, what if
Speaker 1: i I've been calling Ubers Mitch tum Uber needs to
Speaker 1: figure something out, because why am I stepping into a
Speaker 1: two thousand and three Honda Civic that used to be
Speaker 1: a taxi. So when you open the doors, you see
Speaker 1: all the yellow paints, so like that is embarrassing. So
Speaker 1: and it was like just the same amount almost to
Speaker 1: get like an Uber black, And I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: just going to get an Uber black.
Speaker 2: All that extra money for what? Tell them? Tell them.
Speaker 1: They had the fucking they had the road closed off,
Speaker 1: so I had to walk up alone.
Speaker 2: And you're fucking big ass boots, your shoes, hurting your ankles.
Speaker 2: Did you learn a lesson? What's the lesson you learned,
Speaker 2: because there's a very big lesson there.
Speaker 1: I didn't learn shit, bitch. I was like, damn, my
Speaker 1: uber fucked up in what the wrong way?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, it's that you shouldn't care
Speaker 2: what other people think of you. Wait, hold on, write
Speaker 2: that fuck write that down.
Speaker 1: You should you think that's an original thought.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't care what other people think of you, because
Speaker 2: if if you do what other people want you to do,
Speaker 2: you're not even doing yourself. You're not even being yourself.
Speaker 2: And like the whole goal of life is to do
Speaker 2: you to be yourself, So don't do what other people
Speaker 2: expect of you. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you think that that is an original thought?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I just invented that. Right now, watch all the
Speaker 2: girlies in the comments, go ahead, let them know.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even like a coherent finished thought.
Speaker 2: All right, and we're back, Baby. We ran out of
Speaker 2: time because we are too stingy to zoom zoom. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like absolutely fucking not, but to totally want to aid
Speaker 2: the conversation I made my mom get be real and
Speaker 2: it is potentially the cutest thing I have ever seen
Speaker 2: in my entire fucking life. We'll insert the photos. I'm
Speaker 2: sending them to you right now and you but it's
Speaker 2: maybe one of the cutest things I've ever had someone
Speaker 2: do just so I could see what her day to
Speaker 2: day life looks like, and like, it's just so sweet.
Speaker 2: It makes me. Oh, no, she's serving down. She's on
Speaker 2: a cruise right now, like she's turning.
Speaker 1: Oh she wait, was she doing her nails on the cruise?
Speaker 2: No, she was doing them in right before she left. Yeah,
Speaker 2: right before she least she had to get looking good.
Speaker 2: But yeah, she's just kind of updating me day to
Speaker 2: day and I love it so fucking much. And it
Speaker 2: makes me kind of sad because I want to see
Speaker 2: them more often.
Speaker 5: It's just like it sucks because it's like the lack
Speaker 5: of inconvenience of being able to drive to your family,
Speaker 5: Like it's just like it's such a bigger commitment than
Speaker 5: it is when you live with them, because it's one
Speaker 5: thing to just drive their house and then leave when
Speaker 5: you want, but.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you have to like really pack it
Speaker 1: up and make it worth your while and stay there
Speaker 1: for long so that it feels like it was worth
Speaker 1: like getting on a three to six hour long flight.
Speaker 1: What they need to do is give us as that are,
Speaker 1: like for you it would be an hour, then for
Speaker 1: me it would be like two and a half hours
Speaker 1: to get to my parents' house. Like put that bitch
Speaker 1: at hyper speed exactly.
Speaker 2: But the craziest thing is my flight to New York
Speaker 2: was only four hours, which I was actually pissed about
Speaker 2: because I was supposed to sleep since it was a
Speaker 2: red eye. But it was four hours, a little less
Speaker 2: than four hours on a normal fucking airplane. And if
Speaker 2: they can do it.
Speaker 1: Just crazy because that's supposed to be like almost a
Speaker 1: six hour fly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if they can do it, why don't they do
Speaker 2: it every single time? I don't get it, but I
Speaker 2: guess they do have to.
Speaker 1: Like maybe it's like safety and like wind and stuff.
Speaker 2: This bullshit, it's all bullshit. I don't need to be
Speaker 2: safe on an airplane. I need to get to where
Speaker 2: I'm going. I don't care how or when.
Speaker 1: Probably the most high death like my fingers have been seen,
Speaker 1: like to the public ever, Like, isn't that kind of crazy?
Speaker 2: Damn? Let me suck on those real quick, put them back,
Speaker 2: put them back.
Speaker 1: I don't put this face your mother, you're my mother.
Speaker 1: But yeah, basically I was humiliated. I've been humiliated all weekend.
Speaker 1: But I got to go to some really good shows.
Speaker 1: I got to see Sandy Leang, which was a fucking dream.
Speaker 1: I got to see Bagon, which was a fucking dream, Sleigh.
Speaker 1: I got to see Puppets and Puppets, which was very good.
Speaker 2: You should.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was supposed to go to the Mirror.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to go to the Oh bitch, no,
Speaker 1: because I got this old ass iPhone. I was like,
Speaker 1: I might as well use my eyes while the mirror
Speaker 1: because these videos suck. But I was supposed to go
Speaker 1: to the air play show, but I had to tap
Speaker 1: out because I was freaking.
Speaker 2: The fuck out because I like both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just like I couldn't believe being around
Speaker 1: and I'm not really I'm not that I'm not a
Speaker 1: social person. Like if I get into conversation with someone,
Speaker 1: I feel like I carry it out really well. But
Speaker 1: like when I show up somewhere like alone, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I feel like again, I already feel like an intruder
Speaker 1: and a baby. Also, look at my hand right now,
Speaker 1: like it's a woman's hand. I was talking to Elsie
Speaker 1: about that and she was like, oh my god, like
Speaker 1: that she saw your hand. She saw my hand the
Speaker 1: other day and she was like, wow, like, ya has
Speaker 1: like a woman's hand. And I was like, I was
Speaker 1: thinking that the other day because I used to feel
Speaker 1: like I had baby hands. But now as I'm approaching
Speaker 1: twenty four years old, which is so scary and crazy,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have woman hands. We are like
Speaker 1: in our mid twenties.
Speaker 2: True, No, I'm sixteen, bitch, don't ever say that to
Speaker 2: me ever. I fucking as.
Speaker 1: Okay, well you're sixteen, but I need you to hurry
Speaker 1: up in h fastics. The fact that I spent all
Speaker 1: my time with a sixteen year old.
Speaker 3: Is like, it's crazy that we're in our mid twenties.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, what you want us to do is
Speaker 2: be like your own nest. Fuck Kui, But I love you.
Speaker 1: You're aging gracefully for somebody with the genetics that you
Speaker 1: were gifted.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hello, oh my god, Oh.
Speaker 1: Your boatox looks really good. It's cool that Kai got
Speaker 1: a really good but talks that you can't tell that
Speaker 1: he has like botox and filler in it.
Speaker 2: Do you have the face?
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't I swear to god it
Speaker 3: actually Oh yeah, it's that one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Baby come back.
Speaker 1: Did y'all see that video of Zach Effron looking fucking terrifying,
Speaker 1: like looking like the mask?
Speaker 2: Wait, yeah, why what happened to him?
Speaker 3: Didn't he get like crazy filler or something.
Speaker 2: No, everybody thought he got plastic surgery. But he was
Speaker 2: running around his house in socks and in his underwear
Speaker 2: and he slipped fell, hit his jaw on the ground.
Speaker 2: It was like hanging down and completely fucked up his
Speaker 2: jaw and he had to get like reconstructive plastic surgery
Speaker 2: on his serious, dead serious. He didn't talk about it
Speaker 2: because he was like he didn't even know what was
Speaker 2: happening until his friend was like, dude, the internet thinks
Speaker 2: you got plastic surgery. And he just recently addressed it
Speaker 2: in like an interview recently. It's the craziest thing. Guess
Speaker 2: what he was chasing. Guess what he was chasing?
Speaker 3: The bag?
Speaker 1: Bitches, you said the bag?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, what he was trying to do was trying
Speaker 2: to slip and fall on a dildo and just like
Speaker 2: kind of scoot around.
Speaker 3: Wait, Drew, are you dead serious everywhere?
Speaker 2: No, I'm dead serious about Like.
Speaker 1: Wait, what movie? There's something that's something like that happens
Speaker 1: that they're sitting in the living room and they're trying
Speaker 1: to get someone to sign something and they're like running
Speaker 1: around and the guy slips on the rug and like
Speaker 1: hits his head and dies. Oh that's breaking bad.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, yeah, you know what was what I'm talking about? Yeah,
Speaker 2: the dude that likes Sky Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah yeah. If you're watching the show when you
Speaker 1: just so happen to be in one of the last seasons,
Speaker 1: like who the fuck told you to watch this fucking
Speaker 1: podcast episode? You dump bitch?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Literally, but don't stop, please, please don't stop. Ch
Speaker 2: actually ironically what the.
Speaker 3: Zech everyone think is fascinating because like, I don't I
Speaker 3: still don't fully know if you're fucking with me, but
Speaker 3: like being serious, if you're serious, I feel like that's
Speaker 3: a lie.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know. He also said it in an interview,
Speaker 2: and he was like, I just don't use social media
Speaker 2: because if I cared, and it sucks because like if
Speaker 2: I cared as much about how wait, if I cared
Speaker 2: as much about how much people think, does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Like if he cared about what people thought about him
Speaker 2: as much as people think and care about him, he
Speaker 2: would like lose his mind. But he was just like,
Speaker 2: I actually don't have social media. I don't give a ship,
Speaker 2: and I just collect my bag and I move on.
Speaker 2: I watched one of his movies recently called like Firestarter,
Speaker 2: and she went to.
Speaker 1: Columbia and got some jaw Feller, that's what happened.
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, he got he got fucking bike, flat bike
Speaker 2: juice pumped into his jaw. But he was in this
Speaker 2: movie called fire Starter, And the only reason why I
Speaker 2: watched it was because I thought it was like a
Speaker 2: Prodigy documentary, like the I was gonna make that joke
Speaker 2: and I started watching it and I was like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is a movie about a girl with like fire telekinesis
Speaker 2: and her parents are both like telekinetic, and.
Speaker 1: That zac Efron wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was the dad and he had to play
Speaker 2: like a serious dad role and I I'm not I
Speaker 2: don't normally say this about people because I am also
Speaker 2: bad at it, but dude, his acting and that was
Speaker 2: so bad, Like I literally like, I was like, oh.
Speaker 1: Well, did you actually know? It was because he had
Speaker 1: a bunch of medication that he had to take after
Speaker 1: his fucking accident, so it made it really hard for him.
Speaker 2: Didn't take any medication because it was it was a
Speaker 2: dildo up his butt and that stuff like stops pain.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, well it hurt him because he doesn't do
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: The male is basically opium if you can hit it.
Speaker 3: Have you guys seen or heard of that Zacha from
Speaker 3: movie where he plays like an aspiring DJ you brought.
Speaker 1: I have heard of it, but I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: Is it funny?
Speaker 3: I mean it's like funny not on purpose because he's
Speaker 3: he's basically like he's like plays this white dude. That's
Speaker 3: like I need to be famous for make for being
Speaker 3: a DJ, and then he like moves to LA and
Speaker 3: the love lead is like Emily Radakowski and he's struggling
Speaker 3: to make this hit eight M song. And the way
Speaker 3: that he breaks through is his friends like, bro, you
Speaker 3: have to reference real life, like you have to sample
Speaker 3: the things around you. So he like is working on
Speaker 3: a roof and he's using a nail gun and he
Speaker 3: samples the nail gun as like the high hat. And
Speaker 3: then it like does this whole montage of him like
Speaker 3: sampling all these objects in the house and creating like
Speaker 3: an a Vichy song.
Speaker 1: It's there is like, actually, I'm not kidding. There's nothing
Speaker 1: more embarrassing than be like yeah, and I was flushing
Speaker 1: the toilet in like the sound, and when back up,
Speaker 1: I like like, Charlie Pooth, bitch, you need to go
Speaker 1: do pottery or something you.
Speaker 2: God don't talk about. That's my twins.
Speaker 1: You have got iPhone? Why is he always on that iPhone?
Speaker 1: If I had the money Charlie Pooth had, I would
Speaker 1: not be on iPhone dot com. I would be out
Speaker 1: like I would be like not on iPhone?
Speaker 2: A gay? Oh, a man with an iPhone is gay?
Speaker 2: If you work from home, you're gay. If you eat Kiwi's,
Speaker 2: you're bisexual. Just say that why kiwis because that's a
Speaker 2: gay ass fruit because it's.
Speaker 1: Like a little ball sack. But also when you open it,
Speaker 1: it's kuci.
Speaker 2: I just I like think about a kiwi. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: is not a straight fruit.
Speaker 1: It is a little fruity Yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Got a little sugar in your taying can what the fuck.
Speaker 1: Did you just said?
Speaker 2: Was that a slur where you.
Speaker 1: Call like that was really derogatory? Like what you say?
Speaker 1: It's like a thing that and during Pride month and
Speaker 1: during every month is Pride month, baby.
Speaker 2: Get into it. And to me recently was like you know,
Speaker 2: do I've like been watching you walk for like three
Speaker 2: months now and like you're you have like a gayer
Speaker 2: walk recently and I and it has literally like freaked
Speaker 2: me out because I was like I do, and I
Speaker 2: like even recorded myself walking.
Speaker 1: Lially those hips a little more.
Speaker 2: You know what it is? It's because one of my
Speaker 2: legs is shorter than the other and it makes me
Speaker 2: walk weird.
Speaker 1: No, it's because being ran through is having its side effect.
Speaker 2: It's because I have such a giant fucking cock. It's
Speaker 2: like a tripod and I have to walk with three legs.
Speaker 3: Speaking of this, I went on the subreddit for the
Speaker 3: podcast recently, and I think it's like the highest rated
Speaker 3: post on the subreddit, and it's the video of that
Speaker 3: little baby gorilla like and the title just says, Drew.
Speaker 2: That video, recreate it. I'm literally going to recreate it.
Speaker 1: Like that monkey is living so peacefully and it's because
Speaker 1: it doesn't have TikTok like dead ass. They need to
Speaker 1: do like a test run and give monkeys like iPhones
Speaker 1: that are connected to the internet and see what the
Speaker 1: fuck happens.
Speaker 2: Like I'm pretty sure they have. They gave them like neuralink.
Speaker 3: No, that's like, oh they did. They literally did.
Speaker 1: And they die.
Speaker 3: They all died. That's what that's.
Speaker 2: Brain. I'm a human. I can take that ship. I
Speaker 2: swear to God. I want it so bad.
Speaker 1: I don't think you will like that because you already think, bitch,
Speaker 1: you went through a whole phase where you thought people
Speaker 1: were following you. Oh my god, Drew.
Speaker 3: Drew installing grinder into his brain.
Speaker 1: He's like, get it out, Drew, just like just ignoring him,
Speaker 1: faking like he's doing.
Speaker 2: And talking shit about me while doing it. I'm grinder famous.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's something to brag about.
Speaker 4: Views the other day, they can they give you bitches
Speaker 4: of view count over there.
Speaker 1: I see. The thing is, I've never had any kind
Speaker 1: of dating or hooking up app because I live in
Speaker 1: real life and I get bitches in real life and
Speaker 1: it's like super easy, like I get picked up quick,
Speaker 1: I'm after I'm hot, commodity like I don't. But yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all are fucking freaks. I'm just never going back to LA.
Speaker 1: I think, like, I don't like, I just don't feel
Speaker 1: like I need.
Speaker 2: To go back me being in LA. I'm gonna fly.
Speaker 1: Okay to do this. I didn't go back to LA
Speaker 1: because one, I want to see my family. So currently
Speaker 1: when this episode goes up, I will be in Miami
Speaker 1: and prepare my body to see Lady Gaga. Oh Hello,
Speaker 1: where did you go?
Speaker 2: Hello?
Speaker 1: Why did you get off the screen?
Speaker 2: How are you gonna see Gaga without me?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I had to because you've been like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight. So I was like,
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to see Lady Gaga, Like.
Speaker 2: I want to see your mother.
Speaker 1: You did miss Lady Gaga though, so that is kind
Speaker 1: of sad.
Speaker 2: Is she gonna? Oh, I don't give a fuck about
Speaker 2: Lady Gaga?
Speaker 1: Like who do you want to see? Like Jack carlow.
Speaker 2: Yep, oh yeah, oh illo, mgk let go Griles, naked,
Speaker 2: mouse naked like you just a couple to name it?
Speaker 2: Things like you.
Speaker 1: S can't say that about a woman you don't know,
Speaker 1: Like that's that's just how you feel. Why do you
Speaker 1: put your voice down so low, like it's like you're
Speaker 1: playing a character. So then it makes me confused because
Speaker 1: then I don't believe it.
Speaker 2: You guys get so bloody pressed when.
Speaker 1: A man, Oh you know what that reminds me. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna save a bunch of the topics I
Speaker 1: have for when we're back at home because I feel
Speaker 1: like it has to be the extravaganza episode. But why
Speaker 1: will this always be a thing?
Speaker 2: You get a rich us, you can get a blue one.
Speaker 2: When people try to figure out our tongues are purple.
Speaker 1: You cannot read, bitch.
Speaker 2: That was crazy, Well I understood it was like why
Speaker 2: we get we each get a slushy ones red, one's blue.
Speaker 2: Then we make out and we make purple in our mouths.
Speaker 1: Which one is not how that works, like that's it,
Speaker 1: but why is that has always been like since the
Speaker 1: dawn of time on the Internet, that has been like
Speaker 1: a thing people say, like let's go to seven and
Speaker 1: eleven and then make out like.
Speaker 2: Like what are you talker?
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, it's very tumbler, but like the fact that
Speaker 1: it's still happening with this like weird Vinny Hacker esque guy,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why will there always be like an awkwardly
Speaker 1: buff like young man who's like talking like this? And
Speaker 1: like why are there always people who want to see
Speaker 1: someone talking like this? Like the world is genuinely way
Speaker 1: too vast.
Speaker 2: Like it is, girl, I was I stumbled. Do you
Speaker 2: remember the coffee family on Vine, like Peyton Coffee all
Speaker 2: those like that family, Well, I like they're basically like
Speaker 2: a content house family, but they like are kind of
Speaker 2: shrouded in like a lot of levels of love, like
Speaker 2: they do love each other, but they all make content
Speaker 2: and it's very scheduled or it seems very scheduled and
Speaker 2: very and authentic. And it started with the dad on Vine. Well,
Speaker 2: the kids got tiktoks, blew the fuck up on TikTok,
Speaker 2: Like they're massive, and I like went to their days
Speaker 2: and I went to the boys. I G go to
Speaker 2: his I G. It's crazy like on the photos, the
Speaker 2: captions are like leave a like if you want to
Speaker 2: date me? Or like why aren't we dating? Like I
Speaker 2: want to date you? And like all this crazy shit
Speaker 2: and like why are we dating?
Speaker 1: I want to date you? Can I see you? Can
Speaker 1: you please answer text?
Speaker 2: It's literally crazy because like these little girls are like
Speaker 2: I'll date you, I'll date you, I'll.
Speaker 1: D you to go swimming. Who wants to go on
Speaker 1: a date?
Speaker 2: Back?
Speaker 1: Why e physque update? Don't look at the caption, Look
Speaker 1: at me, she said? Dressed nice? Who else is excited
Speaker 1: for summer? Five people on my sorry post this on
Speaker 1: their story and tag me, oh what more to come?
Speaker 1: Like it's a one kiss is all it takes. Pick
Speaker 1: up the phone, one cass, It's all it takes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 2: Bitch, I got a zip of soda and I'm a
Speaker 2: while in the fuck ut.
Speaker 1: Is gross that you were drinking that that is what
Speaker 1: is left behind at the gas station in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: Like what you just picked up and.
Speaker 2: You were drinking it. I need you to tell me
Speaker 2: what this fucking is You carry on for just a second,
Speaker 2: but I found something underneath the sink, and it is
Speaker 2: actually maybe the most disgusting, scary thing I've ever seen
Speaker 2: in my life.
Speaker 1: I did you keep it?
Speaker 2: Because I wanted to fucking ask you if you knew
Speaker 2: what it was, because it's literally terrifying. It is maybe
Speaker 2: the source of the black mold in our house hold
Speaker 2: on Oh my god, this guy.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Yeah, I just can't believe that there's always a
Speaker 1: space on the Internet for stuff like that, and it's
Speaker 1: like so crazy.
Speaker 3: It's like, I feel like I saw this TikTok recently
Speaker 3: where it was like it was like a a like
Speaker 3: middle school lunch area and there are these two weird
Speaker 3: kids like making out. It was like the weird couple
Speaker 3: that were like way too physically affectionate and like weird's everybody.
Speaker 2: I'm back. Are you ready? It's like, I actually don't
Speaker 2: think you're ready. What the fuck is this? What is
Speaker 2: this that's new? I know it's new, I don't know
Speaker 2: what the fuck it is. Drink Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: literally just realized what it is. It's my fucking cum jar.
Speaker 2: I forgot about it. This is like I got.
Speaker 1: Scared that it was something like really bad and you.
Speaker 2: Were like, gon, know this is actually I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is. Older. I asked Josh if you knew
Speaker 2: what it was, and he was like no, and Josiah
Speaker 2: watered my plants and I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: But there's it doesn't stink unless I haven't. The fact that.
Speaker 1: You see that under the sink and you were brave enough.
Speaker 2: To give it a whiff, well, no, I I grabbed
Speaker 2: it out and I was like, I was like, I
Speaker 2: need the water my plants. Oh, it's water Wednesday. Everybody,
Speaker 2: you should change your watering schedule for your plants to Wednesday,
Speaker 2: so you remember, ww water Wednesday. You only need to
Speaker 2: water your plants once a week. That's a big mistake
Speaker 2: everybody makes as they water them every day. That's why.
Speaker 2: But I pulled it out and I was like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck is this? And I was like, oh, maybe
Speaker 2: it's just like plant, but no, it's nothing. It kind
Speaker 2: of looks like dipspit if you've ever seen dipspit. One time,
Speaker 2: I was at a my brother's seventh grade football game,
Speaker 2: so I was probably like three or four. It's like
Speaker 2: one of my most visceral memories. And we were sitting
Speaker 2: in the stands, and I saw like a Gateorade bottle
Speaker 2: in a soda a soda can, and then I had
Speaker 2: my own Gatoray bottle, and the two other bottles were
Speaker 2: my dad's, and I grabbed what I thought was my
Speaker 2: Gateorade bottle. I opened it and drank it, and it
Speaker 2: was my dad's dipspit. And I drank his spit mixed
Speaker 2: with fucking nicotine and tobacco, and I drank it. And
Speaker 2: it was the most vile thing I have ever put
Speaker 2: into my body as a four year old at like
Speaker 2: it was. It was crazy, and it wasn't the only
Speaker 2: time that.
Speaker 1: You clarifying as a four year old, like because you've
Speaker 1: had worstship as of now, Like as a four year old,
Speaker 1: that was the worst thing ever, But now it's probably.
Speaker 2: I started doing crazy shit.
Speaker 1: It sounded like you needed like government involvement in your childhood.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, alright, wait ky, what were you saying? You
Speaker 1: said the TikTok the two weird kids.
Speaker 3: It was just like, yeah, it was like an eighth
Speaker 3: grade lunch area and there are these two like kids
Speaker 3: like all over each other, like straddling each other. True,
Speaker 3: what are you? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Okay, oh he's lip syncing. He's lip syncing too.
Speaker 3: Oh okay. Yeah, so they were like straddling each other.
Speaker 3: And then the comments was like why are they Why
Speaker 3: is there always like a super horny, weird couple at
Speaker 3: everybody's middle school? And I was like, I had that
Speaker 3: at my At my school, there were like weird kids
Speaker 3: that were for doras.
Speaker 2: And I'm so envious of those kids because they are
Speaker 2: able to be themselves. Oh my fucking god. Wait, they
Speaker 2: took my advice and be yourself because first you have
Speaker 2: to love yourself.
Speaker 1: They were taking your advice, Like why do you keep
Speaker 1: saying that, Like you've definitely been told that are you
Speaker 1: gonna love.
Speaker 2: Someone else if you don't even love yourself?
Speaker 3: That one's good too, Drew. You should write that down.
Speaker 2: Can you write it down? No? But I fully know
Speaker 2: what you mean. And I am unironically like jealous of
Speaker 2: those kids because they fully are literally themselves and they're
Speaker 2: okay with it. And I bet they were raised by
Speaker 2: really cool parents. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I never had that experience because I was like quarterback,
Speaker 3: like I had that. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Well, in my middle school, all the popular kids were
Speaker 1: the horny ones, like the quiet kids, like, we're not
Speaker 1: like the horny ones, Like the popular kids were always
Speaker 1: ones being fucking horny and doing crazy shit.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be one of those quiet, weird kids,
Speaker 2: but I faked it.
Speaker 1: That's when you made it. Yeah you did.
Speaker 2: You're still now. I'm an inspiration to all of them.
Speaker 2: And I love you. Look look at me, Look at me.
Speaker 2: I love you. I love you. Why don't we go
Speaker 2: on a date. Leave it? Like if you want to
Speaker 2: date me?
Speaker 1: I want like someone to go into my ear with
Speaker 1: like a pressure washer.
Speaker 2: Girl, I have a penis. I can do pressure washing
Speaker 2: with my wiener.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just like take it and you know when
Speaker 1: you bend a host so that the pressure is like stronger,
Speaker 1: I'll just do that with your wiener while you're you.
Speaker 2: Just pinched the tip a little bit, put your thumb
Speaker 2: over it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: So there was this TikTok of worms that have been
Speaker 2: had had their guts populated with literally me plastic plastic
Speaker 2: eating bacteria. So these worms can eat bacteria and then
Speaker 2: the I mean eat plastic in the bacteria and their
Speaker 2: guts dissolve it and make it what is it compost waste? Yeah,
Speaker 2: bio waste. I don't know, but it's like it makes
Speaker 2: it so these worms can eat plastic and survive and
Speaker 2: then break down plastic as well, so it's life saving,
Speaker 2: earth saving whatever. Why was I tagged in that video?
Speaker 2: I actually don't know why, but I was tagged in
Speaker 2: that video more than any other videos.
Speaker 1: Because you've talked about it. That's how I know about that.
Speaker 2: Actually talked about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were. You were like, they they've done this,
Speaker 1: and they need to like step it up so that
Speaker 1: we could just keep using classic, which is actually one
Speaker 1: of my notes. I was like, damn, it's actually shameful
Speaker 1: that plastic is so bad because it is so fun.
Speaker 1: Like I love little plastic things like that's it, I think,
Speaker 1: And I love being wasteful.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I was about to say, you're losing me there,
Speaker 2: but I like being assuming as much garbage and shit
Speaker 2: as possible. To fill the landfill and create more garbage
Speaker 2: on the ocean islands is actually my goal, Like that's
Speaker 2: really what I want to Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, Like everybody, I just like to be going
Speaker 1: against the grain, and I feel like everybody is like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, we got to do this. We got
Speaker 1: to do that, but I think, like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: buy an island and see how fast I can feel
Speaker 1: it with my own track.
Speaker 2: That is actually fucking genius new mister Beast video idea,
Speaker 2: Mister Beach, mister.
Speaker 1: Pace is the least sustainable human.
Speaker 2: On her Okay, speaking of sustainability, this kind of taps
Speaker 2: in so like, if you look around my room, it's
Speaker 2: pretty like maximalist, like I have everything all it, all
Speaker 2: the time. Today it was the first time that I
Speaker 2: came home and I was like I was already kind
Speaker 2: of in like a bad mood, not like a bad mood,
Speaker 2: but just like it could have became a bad mood.
Speaker 2: And I looked around at my space and I freaked
Speaker 2: the fuck out. I was like, there's too much shit
Speaker 2: in here, it's too collectered. Now I'm okay with it,
Speaker 2: but like, I haven't ever felt that about my space,
Speaker 2: and it scared me because it's the beginning of the end.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna have to get rid of everything.
Speaker 2: You know. What it is is the bedroom I stayed
Speaker 2: in New York was like perfect, Oh yeah, it was
Speaker 2: just so like a yeah.
Speaker 1: But I think about that too. I'm like, damn, at
Speaker 1: one point. Well, I stopped having stuff, but I like
Speaker 1: having stuff. I think we just need to do a
Speaker 1: better job at like spreading it through the house. But
Speaker 1: that would mean like buying more furniture for the rest
Speaker 1: of the house. And I'm like, are we gonna move?
Speaker 1: Like what is our issue? Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I sent you a new house. I sent you a
Speaker 2: new listing that is literally below our budget. Four bedrooms,
Speaker 2: three bath and it has house in the back. One
Speaker 2: of the bedrooms is a house in the back that
Speaker 2: has a kitchen in its own bathroom attached. So we
Speaker 2: can make that either the podcast story studio or my
Speaker 2: bedroom either one.
Speaker 1: Well, I actually just looked it up and fucking Charlie
Speaker 1: bought the house.
Speaker 2: Themelia Yeah Charlie Charlie challenge. Put two pencils on top
Speaker 2: of each other and ask.
Speaker 1: Dixy looks so good with the shaved hand.
Speaker 2: He fucking ate down. I don't do that shit about
Speaker 2: her not eating because she fucking ate I.
Speaker 1: Would not survive with a shaved head.
Speaker 2: You kind of did, though you have like a tiny
Speaker 2: little haircut.
Speaker 1: I just have to like I have like a like
Speaker 1: a wider baby face, and I don't have the jawnline
Speaker 1: for that from certain angles.
Speaker 3: Itch.
Speaker 2: No, if I had a shaved head, I would literally
Speaker 2: look like a neanderthal. Like, I would literally look so bad.
Speaker 2: I already have like kind of the like caveman forehead
Speaker 2: a bit, and if I shave my head, it would
Speaker 2: be bad.
Speaker 1: We'll just shave that braw bone down. Girl, you're my neanderthal.
Speaker 2: Maybe, yeah, well, I'm just like a furry man. I
Speaker 2: have hair all over my body and like I love
Speaker 2: my fur and like, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Got a nice big cock too.
Speaker 1: It's funny because you only get so many words to
Speaker 1: share every single episode, and those are the ones you choose.
Speaker 3: I know, I have like a tweet amount of words
Speaker 3: each episode.
Speaker 1: We'll give you one twenty.
Speaker 2: Character forty four characters.
Speaker 1: Okay, this headphone is like actually hurting my ear. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm bitch. Im about to start fucking answering
Speaker 1: calls with this big bitch of my ear.
Speaker 2: The one TikTok, the twink and the mean girl. Oh
Speaker 2: friend putting on.
Speaker 4: The mean lady?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, her boyfriend putting on her program, which
Speaker 2: I fucking love being called a program of the twink
Speaker 2: and the mean Lady.
Speaker 1: I know I was like, you know what, that is
Speaker 1: a pretty good first straight twin, first straight twink right here, No, Drew,
Speaker 1: I think they like, I don't know that they identify
Speaker 1: you as straight, which maybe we have to clarify that
Speaker 1: you are the first straight twink.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I commented it okay alert.
Speaker 1: And I saw that and I was like, damn, am
Speaker 1: I really classified as the mean lady? And then I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, like on my friend Leebwood, shit,
Speaker 1: like yeah, on my friend Lee Wwitch Joan Rivers Yeah,
Speaker 1: and fuck you bitches, I will.
Speaker 2: Say, but being bitter and hateful is over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is like I've been like tapping out, like
Speaker 1: you would be shocked. Someone brought someone up that I
Speaker 1: would love to talk about, and I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm not gonna be giving my energy here anymore.
Speaker 1: But I will continue to be hateful like there is
Speaker 1: no one doing that, Like God gave me that one
Speaker 1: strain of DNA that makes me bitter and hateful and
Speaker 1: honestly like it is my one joy in life is
Speaker 1: like complaining and being a fucking cunt. Like I am
Speaker 1: nice to the people I love and I am nice
Speaker 1: to strangers, but if you do anything that deserves. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm nice to strangers, to the ones you love. No,
Speaker 1: to the ones who haven't given me a reason to
Speaker 1: be a bitch.
Speaker 2: I'm just fucking with you, and.
Speaker 1: Even ones who like give me a reason to be
Speaker 1: a bitch. Usually I'm too frightful to actually be mean
Speaker 1: to strangers because I'm like, you know what, that's not worth.
Speaker 2: They're gonna hit me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, you're crazy and you might fucking hit me, bitch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah I will.
Speaker 2: I will be better than hateful. I think I'm tapping
Speaker 2: out of it for now. It comes in waves like
Speaker 2: I'm like, I love being hateful. I love being hateful.
Speaker 2: I am the meanest person alive. And then I dip
Speaker 2: way deep down and I'm like, I don't want to
Speaker 2: partake in the shit talking. Like as much as I
Speaker 2: used to love it, it just isn't for me right now. However,
Speaker 2: of course, I say this every single time there is
Speaker 2: one person when their name is brought up, I.
Speaker 1: It's going down.
Speaker 2: It's deserved, It's deserved. Let me just say that much.
Speaker 1: Also, like we need to clarify we don't sit around
Speaker 1: and like talk shit. What we really do is sit
Speaker 1: around with our friends and put on really fucked up
Speaker 1: dumb videos on YouTube and then crack up at it
Speaker 1: and the fucked up dumb videos of question, aren't that
Speaker 1: fucked up and domb We're literally like, let's look up lightning.
Speaker 2: And flooding about to say, chance is futile when life
Speaker 2: is infinite? Think about that?
Speaker 1: Life is not infinite?
Speaker 2: Well like the universe?
Speaker 3: True? True?
Speaker 2: Think about that. I'm thinking like, basically, if the universe
Speaker 2: is infinite and if time is infinite. Sorry, I fucked
Speaker 2: up the quote. Chance is futile when time is infinite.
Speaker 2: If it really does go on forever and ever and
Speaker 2: ever and ever, in eighty trillion billion quadrillion years, there
Speaker 2: will be another universe where we host a podcast and
Speaker 2: accept of it doing well, it tanks and flops.
Speaker 1: Bitch, true, that's what's happening.
Speaker 2: Are we in our flap era?
Speaker 1: We're in our flop era?
Speaker 2: Well, no, what it is is We're not in our
Speaker 2: flap era because the same people tune in each week,
Speaker 2: but not enough bitches are making tiktoks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like where are the first?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 1: What it is? Too? Is like I don't. I'm always
Speaker 1: like where why don't people thirst over me as if
Speaker 1: I don't post a photo every once a month. And
Speaker 1: it's like the photo of me in question is literally
Speaker 1: dark light and like you can't see me.
Speaker 2: I'd like to take ig pictures I haven't posted since me. Well,
Speaker 2: well broke up.
Speaker 1: We have the nude ones of you. Oh I actually
Speaker 1: I caught up with Bella and like, she misses you.
Speaker 1: She misses you a lot. She she was like, granted,
Speaker 1: like she was off a kin or two, but she
Speaker 1: was like she was going in. She was like, I
Speaker 1: missed them, Like I miss his smell sometimes when I
Speaker 1: walk by, like like like a wet towel that's been
Speaker 1: out for too long and like was folded up on itself.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, like that it'll do remind me of
Speaker 1: True And I miss him a lot.
Speaker 2: And yeah, are you like are you are you telling
Speaker 2: the truth right now?
Speaker 1: Because I'm freaking lying. Bitch, I didn't fucking hang out
Speaker 1: with belhadid Are you dumb? Like why, like in what
Speaker 1: world would shell yourself?
Speaker 2: Bitch? Die die? You're gonna die. You're gonna die.
Speaker 4: Ew me when I'm on a eagle at the age
Speaker 4: of ten and I'm covering my camera, all right, Well
Speaker 4: that was it for this episode.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening. And here's my media.
Speaker 1: Also good news, I will not be cutting my hair anymore.
Speaker 1: It's finally at a healthy length and I cut off
Speaker 1: all the dead ends. I know people are gonna be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it feels like your hair hasn't been growing,
Speaker 1: But it's actually because I've been cutting it a lot,
Speaker 1: so don't be mean to me. No one said that
Speaker 1: to me. That's just me, like being insecure. I have
Speaker 1: really bad news because I've still just been listening to
Speaker 1: Amplified Heart. It's literally like the only thing I listened to.
Speaker 1: I liked that new Khalila song Washed Away, and then
Speaker 1: I was listening to Stereo Lab. But that will be
Speaker 1: ending because I won't be seeing them, and it will
Speaker 1: make me.
Speaker 2: Say, yeah, I'm seeing Stereolab on the fifteenth.
Speaker 1: I Love Your Smile by Shnis. Is still something in rotation? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have nothing new in rotation, Sorry guys. Oh but
Speaker 1: I did watch Funny Pages and I really liked it.
Speaker 1: Good movies, really did movie. And I watched class Action
Speaker 1: Park and I loved it. Except I hate when like
Speaker 1: fucking people who are in their forties are like I
Speaker 1: just grew up at a different time. Oh man, it
Speaker 1: was the fucking best, which is like something we do.
Speaker 1: We're always like we're the lust generation that went outside,
Speaker 1: but these bitches are like we went outside. We were
Speaker 1: like our parents didn't check up on us. And I
Speaker 1: was like, so you mean CPS was supposed to be involved.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you bragging about, bitch?
Speaker 2: But yeah, okay, word well, uh, I've been listening to
Speaker 2: a lot of new stuff recently. Actually, obviously I have
Speaker 2: to shout out Young Lean's new songs. Lazy Summer Day
Speaker 2: is actually a smash hit and y'all need to recognize
Speaker 2: now before it blows up later so you can say, oh,
Speaker 2: I was there before it blew up, because this is
Speaker 2: another like pop off song for him. I've been getting into.
Speaker 2: I think it's Bauhaus b a U H a U S.
Speaker 2: And I really like Bela Lugo. C's Dead the official version,
Speaker 2: that's really good. Been listening to Big Thief a little bit,
Speaker 2: so like Mary and Cattails are like really really nice,
Speaker 2: and Dragon New Warm Mountain I believe or something like that.
Speaker 1: Also, hearing that live was awesome. We never I don't
Speaker 1: know if we ever said, but they invited us to
Speaker 1: the show and it was so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was literally such it was insane. Is so good,
Speaker 2: it's sick for sick is so good. But also this
Speaker 2: is a crazy new development. Mazi star is in my rotation.
Speaker 1: Oh you've been You've been tapping into missus Mazziana.
Speaker 2: I haven't gone too deep yet. I've only really listened
Speaker 2: and listened to like Fade into You and Cry Cry.
Speaker 2: But Fade into You is like on this same level
Speaker 2: of hyper as like hyperballad in my brain, where like
Speaker 2: I can scream every single lyric to that song and
Speaker 2: I like and I can listen to it over and
Speaker 2: over and over again, and it's one of those songs
Speaker 2: that it's so embarrassing but I put it on and
Speaker 2: I literally feel like the main character, Like I am
Speaker 2: like the main character.
Speaker 1: It's just such a good song. You should listen to
Speaker 1: the album among my swan so the one that Cry
Speaker 1: Cry is on. I love that album. Also, you have
Speaker 1: like a minute left because Zone is gonna cut us off.
Speaker 2: And then Uh. For media, I've been watching for movies
Speaker 2: and TV. I've been watching the new Game of Throne
Speaker 2: spin off really good, but with all that said, thank
Speaker 2: you guys so fucking much for listening. We love you, genuinely,
Speaker 2: thank you, like on ironically, thank you for tuning in
Speaker 2: each and every week like you are amazing.
Speaker 1: And can't wait to be back at home in our
Speaker 1: stink dungeon, in our stinky dungeon set