Speaker 1: My mom was the first one to be like, does
Speaker 1: this seem off at all to you? It was really
Speaker 1: the first time someone said something that made me think,
Speaker 1: what do you mean off? Like? I was immediately defensive.
Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about
Speaker 2: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
Speaker 2: change everything.
Speaker 1: When I hear other people's horrific stories of things that
Speaker 1: have happened to them, I now have a lens of
Speaker 1: what a human experience to love so deeply that we're
Speaker 1: willing to suspend disbelief that high is Like, I truly
Speaker 1: believe that deception really comes from a deep desire to
Speaker 1: be loved, and I can sympathize with a desire to
Speaker 1: be loved.
Speaker 2: This is Kelsey's story of building her life around someone
Speaker 2: else's lies. Lies that consumed Kelsey's twenties, derailed her early
Speaker 2: career and destroyed her sense of trust. For many years,
Speaker 2: she tried to hide from the deception she experienced, but
Speaker 2: now she's ready to tell her story as a listener.
Speaker 2: Note names and locations have been changed to protect privacy.
Speaker 2: When she was a little girl, Kelsey's mom told her
Speaker 2: the origin story of their family unit It was a
Speaker 2: survival story.
Speaker 1: My dad was really abusive to all of us kids
Speaker 1: and my mom, and so my mom was finally able
Speaker 1: to get out when I was about three months old.
Speaker 1: She packed all of us up, left my dad, and
Speaker 1: drove cross country to my mom's hometown. That's where I
Speaker 1: spent most of my life.
Speaker 2: Her mom, in the three girls, started anew in a
Speaker 2: small West Coast town, but the fear of her dad
Speaker 2: was always looming in the background.
Speaker 1: He actually went to prison after my mom left, and
Speaker 1: if he got out of prison, there was this fear
Speaker 1: that my dad would find us one day.
Speaker 2: Nearly everyone in their new town was Mormon, and their
Speaker 2: family wasn't. Their dad was Cuban, so Kelsey and her
Speaker 2: sisters stood out in a sea of blonde hair and
Speaker 2: blue eyes.
Speaker 1: I remember my mom would like brush out my hair
Speaker 1: so I looked more white, and so I looked like
Speaker 1: the other Mormon girls in town, and then essentially told
Speaker 1: me not to talk about my background, which worked because
Speaker 1: she was also I think, hiding us from my dad
Speaker 1: in prison.
Speaker 2: Her mom's survival story had another chapter for Kelsey's entire childhood.
Speaker 2: Her mom battled breast cancer.
Speaker 1: It was finally getting away from my dad. But then
Speaker 1: she had a bout of answer. She thought she's going
Speaker 1: to die from.
Speaker 2: As a kid, Kelsey didn't know the details. She just
Speaker 2: knew her mom was exhausted and was always going to
Speaker 2: the hospital.
Speaker 1: And that was definitely on purpose. I think that she
Speaker 1: wanted to be super careful, and even when I asked
Speaker 1: her about it, I even remember her saying, this was private.
Speaker 1: This is adult things. I don't want to scare you.
Speaker 1: I'm protecting you from this information.
Speaker 2: Kelsey's escape was the Girl Scouts.
Speaker 1: I had this tiny pocket of girlhood that was so fun,
Speaker 1: like waiting once a week with my girlfriends to earn badges.
Speaker 1: When I think about where I felt like I mattered most,
Speaker 1: it was there.
Speaker 2: Over the summer, she started going to Girl Scout Camp.
Speaker 2: There she was allowed to just be a kid.
Speaker 1: I would go for weeks at a time. I just
Speaker 1: loved summer camp. I was meeting women who were older
Speaker 1: than me, who were models of what it was like
Speaker 1: to really be yourself. Oh. I have the best memories
Speaker 1: at Girl Scout Camp.
Speaker 2: The women who ran the camp were Kelsey's idols. She
Speaker 2: wanted to be just like them.
Speaker 1: I just thought they were so special. And cool. I
Speaker 1: just thought, that's it. I'll be there one day.
Speaker 2: As she got older and entered high school, she started
Speaker 2: dreaming about broadening her horizons.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do whatever it takes to get out
Speaker 1: of the state I was raised in and really find myself.
Speaker 1: So I got perfect grades and worked truly hard in school.
Speaker 1: That This was also around the same time that I
Speaker 1: fell in love for the first time, and I fell
Speaker 1: in love with a girl in the grade above me.
Speaker 2: Kelsey and her high school girlfriend kept their relationship a secret.
Speaker 2: It was in the mid two thousands and they were
Speaker 2: in a mostly Mormon community at the time.
Speaker 1: I think I was afraid of being gay, definitely afraid
Speaker 1: of the implications of it.
Speaker 2: So she set her sights on going to college in
Speaker 2: a place where she I could be out and be herself.
Speaker 2: She was accepted to her first choice and made the leap.
Speaker 1: I loved being on my own for the first time.
Speaker 1: I came out and openly had a relationship and thought
Speaker 1: that was so special. And I was doing really good
Speaker 1: in school.
Speaker 2: But her family's finances took an unexpected turn, so after
Speaker 2: the first year, Kelsey had to transfer to a new university,
Speaker 2: one that she'd be paying for herself.
Speaker 1: I transferred to the public university. I was just pretty
Speaker 1: isolated and it wasn't the dream for me, but it's
Speaker 1: all I could afford.
Speaker 2: She worked to put herself through college, and she started
Speaker 2: working summers as a counselor at her old girl Scout camp.
Speaker 1: It was life changing and I loved it.
Speaker 2: By her third summer, she earned an executive leadership role
Speaker 2: at the camp, helping coordinate all the younger counselors.
Speaker 1: I was doing real programming work and I went to
Speaker 1: I'm our camp that year early because senior staff meets
Speaker 1: early before counselors get there.
Speaker 2: Arriving at camp was a much anticipated reunion where she
Speaker 2: saw all of her closest friends again.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of friends at camp, like I
Speaker 1: had been really established there. This was the first work
Speaker 1: experience I ever had when I was out, and for
Speaker 1: the first time at camp we had other queer people.
Speaker 1: They really diversified our pool of hiring that year.
Speaker 2: One of the new counselors immediately caught Kelsey's attention. Her
Speaker 2: name was Morgan.
Speaker 1: I remember her walking into the office. She was very sporty,
Speaker 1: so she had the classic Arii look, and then they'll
Speaker 1: cut off hair, and she just had the most beautiful eyes.
Speaker 1: I just remember thinking, ah, mostly because it was the
Speaker 1: most radical thing I'd ever known for someone to cut
Speaker 1: off their hair.
Speaker 2: When they first met, Morgan was shy. She kept to
Speaker 2: herself and seemed guarded.
Speaker 1: I found her to be really mysterious.
Speaker 2: But she and Morgan had a close mutual friend In comment.
Speaker 1: My other camp friend really vouched for her and was like,
Speaker 1: trust me, when she opens up, you're going to love her.
Speaker 2: And over time she did. It felt like she chose Kelsey.
Speaker 1: I felt really honored. I just felt like she kind
Speaker 1: of opened up more to me. I felt really privileged
Speaker 1: to be the one person that she was opening up to.
Speaker 1: Like we would spend the weekend after training just talking.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you got
Speaker 1: her to talk to you. That's how shy she was.
Speaker 1: And she was telling me like really intimate details about
Speaker 1: her life.
Speaker 2: Even though Morgan was only twenty years old, she'd been
Speaker 2: through a lot.
Speaker 1: She had shared about some sexual assault, body dysmorphia, struggles
Speaker 1: with an eating disorder. I just felt like I really
Speaker 1: knew her.
Speaker 2: Morgan confided in her, forming close bonds was a hallmark
Speaker 2: of the camp experience. They would be spending every day
Speaker 2: together for the next three months.
Speaker 1: In camp time, that's three years. It's a massive amount
Speaker 1: of time that people don't normally get to spend in
Speaker 1: a very intense environment where you're like growing and learning
Speaker 1: and changing about yourself and funding things from kids and
Speaker 1: teaching kids of remarkable things that change you. It really
Speaker 1: is a lifetime together.
Speaker 2: At camp, there were no cell phones, no distractions from
Speaker 2: the outside world, and in this bubble, Kelsey knew she
Speaker 2: was developing feelings from Morgan, but she was in a
Speaker 2: leadership role, and then.
Speaker 1: There was this camp relationships are famously passionate and intense
Speaker 1: and destructive, which is why we avoid them at all costs.
Speaker 2: So they continued on with a supercharged friendship. It was
Speaker 2: a connection Morgan needed at home. She'd been struggling with
Speaker 2: an eating disorder.
Speaker 1: She had shared that she was really struggling with her
Speaker 1: eating disord order at camp and eating with your campers
Speaker 1: is such a huge part of the experience, Like you're
Speaker 1: with your campers twenty four to seven, and we're really
Speaker 1: rigid at camp about calorie intake and water intake.
Speaker 2: That kind of structure and vigilance around food was really
Speaker 2: triggering for Morgan. In fact, it was having an impact
Speaker 2: on her job performance.
Speaker 1: She had gotten disciplinary write ups from the camp director.
Speaker 1: If she didn't get it under control, this was not
Speaker 1: going to be the job for her.
Speaker 2: The idea of losing Morgan at camp was upsetting. Kelsey
Speaker 2: felt a responsibility to help as both a friend and
Speaker 2: a camp executive.
Speaker 1: And so she was really nervous about losing her job
Speaker 1: because she really loved the work. I remember spending all
Speaker 1: of my free time. I got books from the local
Speaker 1: library and brought them up to camp and was reading
Speaker 1: about eating disorders. Like I really became resource to stay in.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll help you stay don't worry. I've
Speaker 1: got this under control. And I really felt responsible for that.
Speaker 1: They were spending a lot of time together. Even when
Speaker 1: they had days off. We would travel as friends, like
Speaker 1: off to go to Walmart and get face wipes, or
Speaker 1: to a local festival. We tried to get as much
Speaker 1: time off from camp as possible. My outside of camp
Speaker 1: time be king Morgan time.
Speaker 2: About halfway through the summer, they took a day off
Speaker 2: together and drove to Kelsey's hometown.
Speaker 1: And I just think there was this little switch. One weekend,
Speaker 1: we were just alone for the first time really together,
Speaker 1: and then we kissed.
Speaker 2: Now it was clear that the attraction was mutual.
Speaker 1: After that week, we started sharing like a journal. So
Speaker 1: we had a notebook that we would write notes to
Speaker 1: each other and then keep it in a cubby, and
Speaker 1: then I'd write it put it away, and she'd write
Speaker 1: it and put it away, and so we sort of
Speaker 1: had this very sw romance at camp.
Speaker 2: Near the end of camp, Morgan's parents came to town.
Speaker 2: They were devout Mormons, and on that visit, Morgan wanted
Speaker 2: to come out to them. Kelsey drove her to meet them,
Speaker 2: to be there for emotional support.
Speaker 1: She met with her parents and I wasn't with her.
Speaker 1: I was in the parking lot, but I remember seeing
Speaker 1: them at a picnic bench. She came out to them
Speaker 1: and it didn't go well. She got back in the car.
Speaker 1: She was like, they believe I'm living in sin. They
Speaker 1: think this is wrong. They think that any person who
Speaker 1: had influence over me is of the devil, and that
Speaker 1: I should separate myself from those people. She was really
Speaker 1: really emotional about it.
Speaker 2: Her parents' rejection brought the two of them even closer.
Speaker 1: It sort of deepened that connection. It was like, look
Speaker 1: what we're fighting for.
Speaker 2: There was so much at stake, and Morgan was now
Speaker 2: left on our own. They made their relationship official, and
Speaker 2: when camp ended, Morgan couldn't go home, so they decided
Speaker 2: to move in together.
Speaker 1: We were all like, what cow adult, We are well
Speaker 1: for own space and our own beds. So it wasn't like, oh,
Speaker 1: I live with my girlfriend now. It was very much
Speaker 1: like we were just continuing the summer camp experience. I
Speaker 1: think we were on that high of the summer flame.
Speaker 2: It was Kelsey's last year of college. At first, living
Speaker 2: with Morgan was a novelty. Even mundane tasks were exciting.
Speaker 1: Figuring out bus schedules, like everything was just really fun.
Speaker 1: I also remember doing paintball fights and making cookies and
Speaker 1: burning them for the neighbors. But soon reality set in.
Speaker 1: I was working also a full time job while I
Speaker 1: was in school because I had to pay for it.
Speaker 1: I was doing everything to put me on the trajectory
Speaker 1: to go to my master's program, and at this point
Speaker 1: I was on track to be valedictorian.
Speaker 2: Kelsey's priority was school.
Speaker 1: We just weren't getting this much time together and we're
Speaker 1: like drifting a little bit.
Speaker 2: But right when the semester began picking up steam, Kelsey
Speaker 2: started receiving emails from Morgan's family.
Speaker 1: I remember them very explicitly. One was from her dad.
Speaker 1: One was from her mom, saying that it was an
Speaker 1: abomination that I was poisoning Morgan, that I took her
Speaker 1: away from the life of Christ. It didn't help that
Speaker 1: the person Morgan was waiting for it to come back
Speaker 1: from a mission had come back and they had really
Speaker 1: hoped that she would marry him. Every time I got
Speaker 1: a message from them, it was very nasty.
Speaker 2: The message was clear. They thought Kelsey brainwashed their daughter,
Speaker 2: and they wanted her to leave Morgan alone.
Speaker 1: Morgan's very sacred and pure. Stop this now before you
Speaker 1: ruin that forever for her, like they deeply wanted to
Speaker 1: make me hate myself, so I didn't feel deserving of Morgan.
Speaker 2: The messages were overwhelming.
Speaker 1: After a couple months, it got complicated very quickly. It
Speaker 1: was just that feeling of thinking that I was destroying
Speaker 1: someone's salvation.
Speaker 2: It was taxing, but Morgan was fixated. All she wanted
Speaker 2: to do was talk about her parents with Kelsey.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm with you, I care about you, but like,
Speaker 1: I can't process this with you all the time. I
Speaker 1: think I started feeling like she needs to branch out,
Speaker 1: like I realistically can't be everything for her.
Speaker 2: Between the stress of school and the drama with Morgan's parents,
Speaker 2: Kelsey's connection with Morgan was fading.
Speaker 1: That intimate connection felt like stayed at camp. In the
Speaker 1: real world, it was kind of hard to sustain because
Speaker 1: I had a lot of ambition. I was really excited
Speaker 1: about starting my life somewhere new, and it just suddenly
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is kind of affecting my ability
Speaker 1: to be president work in school, and I'm really rigid
Speaker 1: about doing right by my career.
Speaker 2: So Kelsey made a tough decision.
Speaker 1: Ultimately, I came home from school one day and said,
Speaker 1: this is not what I want anymore, and I think
Speaker 1: it's better if we break up. She said okay, and
Speaker 1: then left. What she would do a lot when she
Speaker 1: was trying to process something, she would go for a run.
Speaker 1: So she went for a run and came back and
Speaker 1: I was already asleep, and she was asleep, and we
Speaker 1: went to bed.
Speaker 2: The next day, Kelsey came home from school to find
Speaker 2: Morgan on their couch in tears. There was something she
Speaker 2: needed to tell Kelsey.
Speaker 1: I sat down with her and she had explained that
Speaker 1: she had been hiding something from me that she didn't
Speaker 1: want to talk to me about because she didn't want
Speaker 1: to burden me with it. But she just got really
Speaker 1: bad news. I honestly thought at the time that it
Speaker 1: was something with her parents.
Speaker 2: But it wasn't about her parents.
Speaker 1: That's when she shared that she had been living with
Speaker 1: terminal bone cancer and she was in remission, but her
Speaker 1: doctors gave her the prognosis when she was at the
Speaker 1: doctor today that she had three months to live.
Speaker 2: Just when Kelsey thought her relationship with Morgan was over,
Speaker 2: Morgan came to her with devastating news. She had bone
Speaker 2: cancer and she was Kelsey was no stranger to cancer.
Speaker 2: She grew up watching her mother's breast cancer go into
Speaker 2: remission and return again. It was a horrible cycle, and
Speaker 2: to think another person she loved was going through this
Speaker 2: was hard to fathom.
Speaker 1: I don't think I got it at first.
Speaker 2: Morgan had known about the diagnosis all along, but she
Speaker 2: was just telling her now that the cancer had returned
Speaker 2: when she only had three months to live.
Speaker 1: I asked her more details. She said she was diagnosed
Speaker 1: when she first went to college. She had an injury,
Speaker 1: a bone break. They did some testing and they discovered
Speaker 1: that she had cancer. She was fighting it for about
Speaker 1: a semester, but she beat that bout and then had
Speaker 1: overcurrence until that day.
Speaker 2: She was so flooded with grief for Morgan that the
Speaker 2: breakup became an afterthought.
Speaker 1: I remember feeling so deeply sabbed because my breakup with
Speaker 1: Morgan was never about not loving her. I cared about
Speaker 1: her so deeply. The thought of her dying was insane
Speaker 1: to me and felt so unfair, especially to have this
Speaker 1: prognosis with her family not being very close. I was
Speaker 1: devastated for her. We were sobbing, and then we went
Speaker 1: to bed and I remember holding her, thinking, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is like my partner going through cancer. This isn't
Speaker 1: oh my ex girlfriend from yesterday. This was someone I
Speaker 1: love so deeply dying, Like this really is the end
Speaker 1: of someone's life.
Speaker 2: The next morning, Kelsey woke up with a new perspective.
Speaker 1: It changed the way I framed our relationship. I felt
Speaker 1: grateful that she was alive, and I was ready to
Speaker 1: figure this out together.
Speaker 2: So she sat down at the kitchen table with her
Speaker 2: laptop and a notepad to talk about what this would mean. Luckily,
Speaker 2: Morgan had some answers.
Speaker 1: She's like, I already have a plan with my doctor.
Speaker 1: We're gonna start treatment. It's really unlikely that I'll survive
Speaker 1: this treatment, but it's worthy of taking a shot. And
Speaker 1: so that's what she did.
Speaker 2: During the day, Kelsey would attend class for her senior
Speaker 2: year of college, and Morgan would spend the day at
Speaker 2: the hospital.
Speaker 1: The next few weeks, she was doing treatment all the time,
Speaker 1: like four or five times a week. She would leave
Speaker 1: the house and come back really tired and struggle to
Speaker 1: keep a conversation, struggle to stay awake. She was just
Speaker 1: deeply impacted by the treatment.
Speaker 2: Quickly, Kelsey took on a caretake her role.
Speaker 1: I started really doing some research and taking care of her.
Speaker 2: I was making meals once again. She was juggling the
Speaker 2: way of school and being there for Morgan.
Speaker 1: I distinctly remember trying to complete homework and being like,
Speaker 1: I can't finish this. She's puking somewhere, thinking like, get
Speaker 1: your priority straight. This is someone's life, this is the
Speaker 1: end of their human life, and you're worried about like
Speaker 1: not finishing this math problem, Like why was I wasting
Speaker 1: my time on these early morning classes for like my
Speaker 1: own benefit when she only had a few months left
Speaker 1: to live. I just suddenly felt selfish and stupid. And
Speaker 1: that's really the moment that I reframed my entire life.
Speaker 2: For the first time in her life, Kelsey let school
Speaker 2: take a back seat.
Speaker 1: I was letting go of a lot of things I'd
Speaker 1: worked my whole life toward. But I was like, I
Speaker 1: can do this for three months for somebody to enjoy
Speaker 1: the last few months of their life.
Speaker 2: Christmas was a few weeks away. With Morgan's family out
Speaker 2: of the picture, they decided to celebrate with a family front.
Speaker 2: An older woman named Joanne, who had been a mentor
Speaker 2: to Morgan.
Speaker 1: For years, considered her like a second mom. We drove
Speaker 1: out of state to visit her. This family friend was
Speaker 1: with her when Morgan got her first diagnosis of having
Speaker 1: bone cancer, and she was with her when she was
Speaker 1: doing IVY treatments. To meet someone who was so intimately
Speaker 1: involved with her treatment, I felt really bonded right away.
Speaker 1: I remember her saying, I didn't even know what I
Speaker 1: was doing. I just got kind of thrown into this
Speaker 1: and I was like, I didn't know what I was
Speaker 1: doing either. It was a.
Speaker 2: Relief to talk with someone else who'd been involved with
Speaker 2: Morgan's care. She was a great resource. For Christmas, Morgan
Speaker 2: and Kelsey got each other something special.
Speaker 1: We got rings for our wedding.
Speaker 2: Rings for their wedding. Morgan wanted to get married to Kelsey.
Speaker 2: It was a legal and financial decision.
Speaker 1: Her attorney had shared with her that when she died,
Speaker 1: her health payout would be really big and it would
Speaker 1: go to her parents because that's next of kin, and
Speaker 1: that was really over for her, Like she had fought
Speaker 1: so hard for her queerness and now suddenly in her
Speaker 1: death as a queer woman, all this money would be
Speaker 1: granted to her parents. But if she were married to me,
Speaker 1: then I would get to decide where that money goes.
Speaker 2: Morgan wanted the money to be donated to a library foundation.
Speaker 2: Kelsey was honored to help facilitate one of her final wishes.
Speaker 1: Of course, whatever you need to do, what you want
Speaker 1: to do with the end of your life, so for
Speaker 1: her this was a really meaningful way of honoring her life.
Speaker 1: So we agreed that we would get married.
Speaker 2: Kelsey felt a responsibility to make sure every day was
Speaker 2: a good day.
Speaker 1: I tried to make our life so joyful and loving
Speaker 1: and silly. And that's how we just tried to spend
Speaker 1: our time. We didn't have very much left, but.
Speaker 2: The days were still difficult, especially as Morgan's health worsened.
Speaker 1: She would go to treatment and come back and throw up.
Speaker 1: She was tired all the time. I remember coming home
Speaker 1: from work and she'd have like fallen over. She seemed
Speaker 1: very weak to me. And this is also how my
Speaker 1: mom would describe her treatments going through breast cancer. Morgan
Speaker 1: would like lose her hair. I'd come home and she'd
Speaker 1: have taken a nap and she'd have hair on the pillow,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, oh my god, your hair.
Speaker 2: This only furthered Kelsey's resolve to support Morgan. She offered
Speaker 2: again to go to the hospital with her, to be
Speaker 2: by her side as she got treatment. Morgan said no,
Speaker 2: she didn't want to be a burden.
Speaker 1: She was very very clear that this was her private
Speaker 1: journey and that she had already burdened me enough and
Speaker 1: she didn't want me to lose work or lose school.
Speaker 2: After all, it was Kelsey's job that kept them afloat financially.
Speaker 2: As the weeks went on, the treatment seemed to be
Speaker 2: slowing the progression of her cancer, and Morgan hit the
Speaker 2: three month mark.
Speaker 1: By that time, we had gotten word that she'd beat
Speaker 1: that bout of cancer. There was a lot of medical language,
Speaker 1: but essentially it was like, we're doing good. Hold on,
Speaker 1: not you'll live, but like, I'm feeling okay today and
Speaker 1: for the next couple of weeks because I think this
Speaker 1: treatment is working.
Speaker 2: For the past three months, Kelsey had been bracing herself
Speaker 2: for the end, putting her all into caring for Morgan.
Speaker 2: It had been exhausting.
Speaker 1: I still worked full time. I still finished my degree.
Speaker 1: By the time graduation came around, I just like barely
Speaker 1: made it. Like I barely emotionally, physically, spiritually made it.
Speaker 1: I just remember being an empty person when my family
Speaker 1: came for graduation. I just felt like nothing.
Speaker 2: In her last semester, she earned b's and c's, and
Speaker 2: her dreams of being valedictorian were dashed. Instead of giving
Speaker 2: the valedictorian speech, she applied to be an honorary student
Speaker 2: speaker at commencement.
Speaker 1: I was able to stand alongside the valedictorian, which would
Speaker 1: have been me and share my story about what happened
Speaker 1: with my partner, like what it really meant for me
Speaker 1: to give up my schooling in order to help someone
Speaker 1: I loved.
Speaker 2: After she graduated, they finally had the time to plant
Speaker 2: a small wedding ceremony. At the time, same sex marriage
Speaker 2: wasn't legal in their state, so they had to travel.
Speaker 1: She didn't feel good enough to fly, but she did
Speaker 1: feel good enough to drive, so that's when we booked
Speaker 1: our trip for our wedding ceremony.
Speaker 2: Kelsey drove them to California, with Morgan asleep in a
Speaker 2: passenger seat. Along the way, they camped in national parks.
Speaker 1: There was something really beautiful and intimate. It felt like
Speaker 1: the end to me. She just didn't seem all there,
Speaker 1: but there's something about being in nature together, and our
Speaker 1: dynamic started in nature. It was actually really beautiful the
Speaker 1: whole trip. We took disposable cameras and it was very
Speaker 1: fleeting and lovely. And I remember one of the nights,
Speaker 1: just before we had our ceremony, we slept on the
Speaker 1: beach of the Lost Coast, and there was something really
Speaker 1: poetic about waking up. Morgan was still sleeping and I
Speaker 1: got out of the tent and like looked out into
Speaker 1: the ocean and just thought, like, if I can love
Speaker 1: someone this big one day after Morgan's passing, someone will
Speaker 1: be able to love me in this way.
Speaker 2: Back the day before the ceremony, they both sat down
Speaker 2: to write their vowels.
Speaker 1: We wrote our vows on like hotel nap kiss, like
Speaker 1: my white dresses in the corner. I'm like sitting down
Speaker 1: with this piece of paper, and I suddenly didn't know
Speaker 1: what to say. It's like, vows are for promising to someone,
Speaker 1: but I don't know how to promise something to her
Speaker 1: in her death. Like it just suddenly felt wrong.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was nerves she couldn't help but overthink the
Speaker 2: whole thing.
Speaker 1: I got a stopping into my head and so I
Speaker 1: like kind of cleared my head of everything. And this
Speaker 1: was the commitment she made, promising her that the memory
Speaker 1: of her and who I knew her to be, and
Speaker 1: like the love that people didn't get the chance to know,
Speaker 1: especially her family, that would live on.
Speaker 2: They delivered their vowels and signed the papers.
Speaker 1: Zequoia National Park, we drove into the woods and found
Speaker 1: a really neat tree that was two trees that like
Speaker 1: Corp screwed into one and there was like one little
Speaker 1: spot where you could squeeze into, and so we squeezed
Speaker 1: into these trees. Then signed the paperwork and we left.
Speaker 2: Being officially married was a relief. It was the final
Speaker 2: thing Morgan wanted to do before she passed away.
Speaker 1: We drove back from California and I was like driving
Speaker 1: into the sun as it was going down, thinking, I
Speaker 1: know in my heart that I'd done everything that I
Speaker 1: possibly can for Morgan to feel love twell. I felt
Speaker 1: like I had finished what I needed to do. I
Speaker 1: remember her looking at me with a lot of love
Speaker 1: and like she saw me as a wife. Like I
Speaker 1: almost felt her relief, like Okay, got it, Everything's going
Speaker 1: to be okay. I obviously interpret that differently.
Speaker 2: Now, in less than a year, Kelsey and Morgan went
Speaker 2: from being twenty one year old at camp to being
Speaker 2: a married couple handling a terminal disease. Now they were
Speaker 2: committed to each other for however much time Morgan had left,
Speaker 2: Kelsey had been accepted into a master's program across the country.
Speaker 2: Neither of them expected Morgan to be alive for that
Speaker 2: next chapter.
Speaker 1: We're legally married, and now it's a little complicated because
Speaker 1: I don't know how to bring up like how am
Speaker 1: I supposed to navigate the next few months.
Speaker 2: Morgan's successful treatment meant she had more time she could
Speaker 2: take a break from treatment, but her cancer was still
Speaker 2: deemed terminal. No one knew how long she really had left,
Speaker 2: not even her doctors.
Speaker 1: It was very much like, this is what we've been told,
Speaker 1: and we're lucky to have this little bit of extra time.
Speaker 1: It was suddenly another continuation, another chapter of live like
Speaker 1: you're dying.
Speaker 2: Kelsey didn't know what this meant for her plans to
Speaker 2: start graduate school. She barely got through her last semester.
Speaker 1: I was really conflicted. I was like, oh, no, this
Speaker 1: is everything I've worked for and I can still go.
Speaker 1: I still got in and I can still do it,
Speaker 1: but I can't because it's gonna be with Morgan. And
Speaker 1: I'm grateful that she's still alive. I'm truly grateful, but
Speaker 1: I also feel like I've lost myself and I don't
Speaker 1: know how to gain it back if she's still here.
Speaker 1: Like I hadn't planned for it.
Speaker 2: She was worried about juggling her master's program and supporting
Speaker 2: Morgan at the same time. She didn't even know if
Speaker 2: she could handle that, but she decided.
Speaker 1: I said we would do this, and we're married now,
Speaker 1: and so now we're going to travel across the country
Speaker 1: and start my masters together.
Speaker 2: They rented a U haul and began the cross country drive.
Speaker 2: Along the way, they made a pit stop to see
Speaker 2: Joant Morgan's mentor.
Speaker 1: She was sort of our middle point between the West
Speaker 1: Coast and the East Coast, And when we got to
Speaker 1: her place, I immediately sensed that there was some sort of
Speaker 1: tension between them, like maybe an argument had been had
Speaker 1: and I didn't know about it. It just felt like
Speaker 1: we were kind of dancing around something that was unsaid.
Speaker 2: It was clear something had come between Joanne and Morgan.
Speaker 2: Joanne said she wanted to talk to Kelsey in private,
Speaker 2: but they just couldn't find the right moment. At the
Speaker 2: end of their stay, I.
Speaker 1: Could tell that she was holding back from saying something,
Speaker 1: but she just said, Okay, good luck, and that was it.
Speaker 1: So there was sort of this like mystery about this
Speaker 1: odd dynamic. We had walked away from it, and that
Speaker 1: made me nervous. I distinctly remember being in the U
Speaker 1: hall and Morgan being asleep next to me and thinking
Speaker 1: we're about to move to a new state. I don't
Speaker 1: know anyone in. She doesn't know anyone in. We have
Speaker 1: no friends or family, and the one really close family
Speaker 1: connection that she has she sort of just had a
Speaker 1: rupture with. It was really the first time I thought like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is really just us now.
Speaker 2: When they arrived in their new city, they had to
Speaker 2: face the reality of living alone. Kelsey found a job
Speaker 2: in hospitality while she started her master's degree, but Morgan
Speaker 2: was too sick to work.
Speaker 1: And the reality of affording grad school, working full time,
Speaker 1: going to school full time, paying for both of our lives,
Speaker 1: and also paying for cancer treatments medicines was really a
Speaker 1: tremendous burden.
Speaker 2: Kelsey was only twenty two and she was the sole provider.
Speaker 2: Morgan found new doctors, and now that they were married,
Speaker 2: Kelsey was paying for more of Morgan's care.
Speaker 1: I would say like twenty five percent of every paycheck
Speaker 1: was going to Morgan, and so after a couple months
Speaker 1: of being on the East Coast, it was like thousands
Speaker 1: and thousands of dollars we were pouring into anything related
Speaker 1: to her health.
Speaker 2: Became hyper fixated on financials.
Speaker 1: I remember specifically googling what it actually costs if someone dies.
Speaker 1: She wanted to be cremated, and I just remember looking
Speaker 1: at this fifteen hundred dollars price tag thinking I'm never
Speaker 1: going to get what I need to cremate her.
Speaker 2: But she found it hard to have open conversations with
Speaker 2: Morgan about it.
Speaker 1: Because she didn't want to talk about death. It was
Speaker 1: just like every tiny little thing was overwhelmingly my responsibility.
Speaker 2: It had been a year since Morgan shared her diagnosis.
Speaker 2: Even though Kelsey was now paying for Morgan's care, she
Speaker 2: still wasn't privy to the details of it.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even sure how to broach the topic of like,
Speaker 1: can we go together to your doctor to get an
Speaker 1: update on what we can look at? Can we reassess
Speaker 1: your medications?
Speaker 2: But Morgan didn't want to talk about it. She wanted
Speaker 2: to do everything alone, and that worried Kel's what.
Speaker 1: Happens if I don't know where you are, how do
Speaker 1: I get like your health wreck? Like there was suddenly
Speaker 1: some logistics that didn't really have the answers to the.
Speaker 2: Lack of information was becoming a real problem for Kelsey.
Speaker 2: It became a wedge in their relationship.
Speaker 1: This is where things started shifting in our dynamic where
Speaker 1: it's like I need real concrete answers, what is your
Speaker 1: current prognosis, Like how is your body doing? Where is
Speaker 1: the cancer in your body?
Speaker 2: Without any answers, she was getting frustrated. She felt like
Speaker 2: she couldn't help Morgan if she didn't have all the information.
Speaker 2: That year, they spent Christmas with Kelsey's family.
Speaker 1: We flew home. Morgan was so sick that she could
Speaker 1: barely even talk. She was lethargic. She's sleeping all the time,
Speaker 1: she was throwing up. Whatever new medication, whatever new treatment
Speaker 1: she was trying, was really taxing. Like I remember taking
Speaker 1: photos together that trip, and she's sleeping in all of them.
Speaker 2: This was the second in time they thought it was
Speaker 2: their last Christmas together, and it was the first time
Speaker 2: Kelsey's mom was getting to really spend time with Morgan.
Speaker 1: My mom had pulled me aside at some point during
Speaker 1: this holiday, and she was the first one to be like,
Speaker 1: does this seem off at all to you? And it
Speaker 1: was really the first time someone said something that made
Speaker 1: me think, like, what do you mean off? I was
Speaker 1: immediately defensive.
Speaker 2: Still, Kelsey's mom insisted that something didn't add up. She
Speaker 2: was starting to feel skeptical about Morgan's story.
Speaker 1: My mom, who obviously has experience of cancer, was like,
Speaker 1: it just feels off, Like when she's around us, something
Speaker 1: feels off.
Speaker 2: Before this moment, Kelsey had never doubted Morgan's diagnosis. For
Speaker 2: nearly two years, her entire life revolved around Morgan's health.
Speaker 1: I had felt like a bad person for even feeling
Speaker 1: burdened by cancer. I had never considered doubting it at all.
Speaker 1: But this is when I started to feel doubtful. And
Speaker 1: that was when she started breaking bones.
Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal.
Speaker 1: I got a Facebook message She's like, I've been down
Speaker 1: a rabbit hole about Morgan. I have proof there's a
Speaker 1: lot more to the story. And that's when it really
Speaker 1: blew open.
Speaker 2: If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal
Speaker 2: team or want to tell us your Betrayal story, email
Speaker 2: us at Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. We're grateful for your support. One
Speaker 2: way to show support is by subscribing to our show
Speaker 2: on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 2: Betrayal five star reviews. Goal Line a big thank you
Speaker 2: to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of
Speaker 2: Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group and partnership
Speaker 2: with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy
Speaker 2: Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning,
Speaker 2: written and produced by Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman.
Speaker 2: Associate producers are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart
Speaker 2: team is Ali Perry and Jessica Krinchech. Audio editing and
Speaker 2: mixing by Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from Tanner Robbins.
Speaker 2: Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by
Speaker 2: Mob Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.