1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:22,555 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. If 2 00:00:22,595 --> 00:00:26,795 Speaker 1: I told you Donald Trump was an animal who should 3 00:00:26,955 --> 00:00:30,715 Speaker 1: be removed immediately, not removed from office, but just removed. 4 00:00:31,435 --> 00:00:34,275 Speaker 1: If I told you Trump was quote doing the work 5 00:00:34,395 --> 00:00:37,835 Speaker 1: of the devil. If I told you Trump was destroying 6 00:00:37,915 --> 00:00:41,355 Speaker 1: our country, quote as they tell us to be peaceful. 7 00:00:42,035 --> 00:00:45,595 Speaker 1: If I showed you two pictures, one of Trump and 8 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,595 Speaker 1: next to it one of me, and I'm holding a 9 00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:52,075 Speaker 1: baseball bat about to swing it, posed exactly as Robert 10 00:00:52,115 --> 00:00:55,715 Speaker 1: de Niro portraying Al Capone was in the movie The Untouchables, 11 00:00:55,915 --> 00:00:58,395 Speaker 1: just before he beat another character to death with a 12 00:00:58,395 --> 00:01:02,755 Speaker 1: baseball bat. If I showed you thirty other social media 13 00:01:02,835 --> 00:01:05,795 Speaker 1: posts I had made in twenty four hours, each of 14 00:01:05,795 --> 00:01:09,355 Speaker 1: them filled with threatening and violent and hateful language about 15 00:01:09,475 --> 00:01:15,155 Speaker 1: Donald Trump, what would you think I was trying to 16 00:01:15,195 --> 00:01:20,835 Speaker 1: tell you? What would you think I was hoping you 17 00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:28,275 Speaker 1: would do? Donald Trump is a stochastic terrorist, And the 18 00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:32,275 Speaker 1: Stormy Daniel's case is legitimate but comparatively trivial, and the 19 00:01:32,395 --> 00:01:37,075 Speaker 1: Jack Smith's Special Council investigations are legitimate and anything but trivial. 20 00:01:37,355 --> 00:01:42,435 Speaker 1: But Trump's posts yesterday about Alvin Bragg, the baseball bat 21 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,915 Speaker 1: photo post and the post reading quote a srost backed 22 00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:48,475 Speaker 1: animal who just doesn't care about right or wrong, no 23 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,515 Speaker 1: matter how many people are hurt. And the post reading quote, 24 00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:54,995 Speaker 1: this is the Gestapo, this is Russia and China but worse. 25 00:01:55,475 --> 00:01:59,355 Speaker 1: And the post reading quote who should be removed immediately. 26 00:01:59,915 --> 00:02:06,195 Speaker 1: These are terrorist threats, terrorist threats made by Donald Trump 27 00:02:07,155 --> 00:02:14,035 Speaker 1: on a public platform. Arrest him now for terrorism, and 28 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:18,795 Speaker 1: his intent and his process, and his awareness that his 29 00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:23,235 Speaker 1: words will be interpreted by the most deranged of his 30 00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:29,475 Speaker 1: cultists as calls as instructions to kill Alvin Bragg and 31 00:02:29,555 --> 00:02:32,675 Speaker 1: to kill Jack Smith, and to kill Latitia James, and 32 00:02:32,755 --> 00:02:36,315 Speaker 1: to kill Fanny Willis his awareness of all that process 33 00:02:36,475 --> 00:02:41,875 Speaker 1: is undeniable. Because Trump has used stochastic terrorism to incite 34 00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:46,115 Speaker 1: January sixth, and dozens and dozens of the violent insurrectionists 35 00:02:46,115 --> 00:02:48,675 Speaker 1: of that day who attacked the Capitol said on trial 36 00:02:48,795 --> 00:02:52,475 Speaker 1: under oath, most with a sense of surprise that everybody 37 00:02:52,515 --> 00:02:56,315 Speaker 1: didn't already understand this, that they went to capture or 38 00:02:56,515 --> 00:02:59,675 Speaker 1: kill senators and congressmen and a vice president and the 39 00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:07,595 Speaker 1: media because Donald Trump told them too. Stochastic terrorism is 40 00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:10,595 Speaker 1: often a vague thing. That is why it is used 41 00:03:11,035 --> 00:03:15,195 Speaker 1: you say something, somebody else goes and kills ormaimes or 42 00:03:15,315 --> 00:03:19,435 Speaker 1: destroys on your behalf, and you respond, I never told 43 00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:22,555 Speaker 1: them to do that. It is the King Henry. The 44 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:26,755 Speaker 1: second excuse. Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest, 45 00:03:27,315 --> 00:03:31,075 Speaker 1: said King Henry about the Archbishop of Canterbury on Christmas 46 00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:35,395 Speaker 1: Day eleven seventy, and four days later Hugh de Morville, 47 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:40,035 Speaker 1: William de Tracy, Reginald Fitzers and Richard LeBreton ran the 48 00:03:40,155 --> 00:03:45,795 Speaker 1: archbishop through with their swords. They in eleven seventy then 49 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:49,515 Speaker 1: expressed surprise that everybody didn't already understand that their king 50 00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:56,475 Speaker 1: had ordered them or somebody to kill the archbishop. The 51 00:03:56,595 --> 00:04:00,955 Speaker 1: murderers were excommunicated and punished, and on the premise then, 52 00:04:00,955 --> 00:04:04,075 Speaker 1: since he was only making a rhetorical statement, not unlike 53 00:04:04,675 --> 00:04:06,955 Speaker 1: strict attorney, Bragg is a danger to our country and 54 00:04:06,995 --> 00:04:10,915 Speaker 1: should be removed immediately. King Henry got the benefit of 55 00:04:10,955 --> 00:04:15,675 Speaker 1: the doubt, and he served another seventeen years as the 56 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:21,515 Speaker 1: King of England. But Trump has already lost that benefit 57 00:04:21,555 --> 00:04:24,955 Speaker 1: of the doubt. He attacked the FBI last summer for 58 00:04:25,315 --> 00:04:29,475 Speaker 1: executing a completely legal search warrant at Marilago days later, 59 00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:31,755 Speaker 1: a Trump fanatic tried to get into FBI headquarters in 60 00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:36,075 Speaker 1: Cincinnati to kill FBI agents. That was Trump committing terrorism 61 00:04:36,115 --> 00:04:42,035 Speaker 1: by proxy, stochastic terrorism. January sixth, bottled a series of 62 00:04:42,035 --> 00:04:47,075 Speaker 1: tweets and posts and speeches and his screeching quote that morning, 63 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,595 Speaker 1: if you don't fight like hell, You're not going to 64 00:04:49,675 --> 00:04:55,275 Speaker 1: have a country anymore. That was Trump committing terrorism by proxy, 65 00:04:55,595 --> 00:05:00,275 Speaker 1: stochastic terrorism. Before the two thousand and eight midterms, Trump 66 00:05:00,315 --> 00:05:03,195 Speaker 1: attacked Democrats and liberals in a way never heard before 67 00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:09,555 Speaker 1: in American politics. And Caesar Sayok then sent pipe bombs 68 00:05:09,595 --> 00:05:13,155 Speaker 1: to Joe Biden and Corey Booker and John Brennan and 69 00:05:13,315 --> 00:05:16,275 Speaker 1: James Clapper and Hillary Clinton and Robert de Niro and 70 00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:19,795 Speaker 1: Kamala Harris and Eric Holder and Barack Obama and George 71 00:05:19,795 --> 00:05:22,995 Speaker 1: Soros and Tom Steyer and Maxine Waters. And a year later, 72 00:05:23,035 --> 00:05:25,755 Speaker 1: when the FBI finally got through Sayok's laptop, it turned 73 00:05:25,755 --> 00:05:28,355 Speaker 1: out there was a second list of targets. And I 74 00:05:28,475 --> 00:05:31,355 Speaker 1: know this because I was on that list. That was 75 00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:40,195 Speaker 1: Trump committing terrorism by proxy, stochastic terrorism. And these social 76 00:05:40,315 --> 00:05:45,715 Speaker 1: media rage tweets yesterday, primarily against Alvin Bragg, but mentioning 77 00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:50,555 Speaker 1: James and Smith and Willis. They are implausibly deniable instructions 78 00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:54,155 Speaker 1: to whoever is sick enough and violent enough and lost 79 00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:58,995 Speaker 1: enough to accept them as what they were intended instructions. 80 00:06:00,355 --> 00:06:05,635 Speaker 1: Trump told me to attack Alvin Bragg. Trump committing terrorism 81 00:06:05,635 --> 00:06:11,915 Speaker 1: by proxy. Stochastic terrorism. This is going to have to stop, 82 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,115 Speaker 1: and it is going to have to stop immediately. Because 83 00:06:14,115 --> 00:06:16,595 Speaker 1: of all the things that happened on January six, twenty 84 00:06:16,715 --> 00:06:18,795 Speaker 1: twenty one, the one we talked the least about is 85 00:06:18,835 --> 00:06:22,035 Speaker 1: the fact that this country on that day was extraordinarily 86 00:06:22,075 --> 00:06:26,595 Speaker 1: goddamned lucky. Well, somebody's lucky is going to run out 87 00:06:26,715 --> 00:06:34,235 Speaker 1: hours or Trumps and no, specifically, precisely and exactly nobody 88 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:38,275 Speaker 1: should attack Trump or menace Trump, or shoot Trump or 89 00:06:38,395 --> 00:06:42,915 Speaker 1: kill Trump or any Republican. But if the words that 90 00:06:42,995 --> 00:06:46,675 Speaker 1: Trump wrote yesterday about Alban Bragg were written about him, 91 00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:53,395 Speaker 1: what would you think the writer meant? This is stochastic terrorism. 92 00:06:53,395 --> 00:06:58,475 Speaker 1: This is not subtle stochastic terrorism, nor vague stochastic terrorism, 93 00:06:58,515 --> 00:07:02,635 Speaker 1: nor gray area stochastic terrorism. The Department of Homeland Security 94 00:07:02,635 --> 00:07:06,155 Speaker 1: and the Department of Justice need to act immediately ahead 95 00:07:06,355 --> 00:07:09,475 Speaker 1: of the Special Prosecutor and with the same urgency with 96 00:07:09,515 --> 00:07:13,035 Speaker 1: which one would approach the Republican cliche of two thousand 97 00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:17,915 Speaker 1: and three, the ticking nuclear time bomb in some American city, Charge, 98 00:07:18,035 --> 00:07:23,635 Speaker 1: indict and arrest Trump, and do it today. He is 99 00:07:23,675 --> 00:07:28,475 Speaker 1: a stochastic terrorist. He must be stopped by the law, 100 00:07:29,195 --> 00:07:33,675 Speaker 1: not by vigilantism nor terrorism. And he must be prosecuted 101 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:37,035 Speaker 1: and convicted by the law, because, as we have all 102 00:07:37,035 --> 00:07:39,235 Speaker 1: seen for the last eight years, the moment you let 103 00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:42,635 Speaker 1: a stochastic terrorist like Donald Trump get away with it 104 00:07:42,755 --> 00:07:46,515 Speaker 1: once the premise will no one rid me of this 105 00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:53,195 Speaker 1: turbulent prosecutor, reporter, democrat, liberal vice president. The premise of 106 00:07:53,235 --> 00:07:56,475 Speaker 1: that becomes more and more normalized, and more and more prevalent, 107 00:07:56,515 --> 00:07:59,915 Speaker 1: and more and more understood by the diseased minds that 108 00:07:59,995 --> 00:08:06,835 Speaker 1: accept Trump's word as a message from their president. You 109 00:08:06,915 --> 00:08:09,915 Speaker 1: do not have to thrust a knife into someone to 110 00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:13,555 Speaker 1: be convicted of murder in this country, Ask Charles Manson. 111 00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:16,635 Speaker 1: You do not have to have built a bomb nor 112 00:08:16,755 --> 00:08:18,715 Speaker 1: thrown a bomb to go to jail because a bomb 113 00:08:18,755 --> 00:08:21,955 Speaker 1: was built and thrown. Ask Kathy Wilkerson of the weather Men. 114 00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:25,235 Speaker 1: You do not have to have protested the building of 115 00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:27,835 Speaker 1: cops city in Georgia, nor even who have been there 116 00:08:28,035 --> 00:08:31,275 Speaker 1: to be arrested and jailed without bond, asked to Cab 117 00:08:31,315 --> 00:08:35,675 Speaker 1: County District Attorney Sherry Boston. And you do not have 118 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,235 Speaker 1: to wait until somebody tries to hurt a man named 119 00:08:38,355 --> 00:08:46,675 Speaker 1: Alvin Bragg. To apprehend the creature who is inciting, insisting, demanding, encouraging, beseeching, instigating, 120 00:08:46,755 --> 00:08:52,755 Speaker 1: instructing somebody, anybody to hurt him or hurt Letitia James, 121 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:58,195 Speaker 1: or hurt Jack Smith or hurt Fanny Willis. Arrest Donald 122 00:08:58,195 --> 00:09:03,475 Speaker 1: Trump today. And when he is arrested in New York 123 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:09,915 Speaker 1: or elsewhere or everywhere, the judge or judges must do 124 00:09:10,155 --> 00:09:15,595 Speaker 1: two things. A complete gag order. Trump has lost his 125 00:09:15,795 --> 00:09:21,275 Speaker 1: right to speak aloud in this nation. And after his 126 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,835 Speaker 1: threats and his implorations, he has proven he is a 127 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:30,075 Speaker 1: material lethal danger to the prosecutors and the witnesses and 128 00:09:30,315 --> 00:09:36,755 Speaker 1: anyone who thwarts him. He wants them to be killed. 129 00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:42,875 Speaker 1: He wants others to kill them. There must not be, 130 00:09:43,795 --> 00:09:54,115 Speaker 1: there must never be bail for Donald Trump. Separate of 131 00:09:54,155 --> 00:09:56,195 Speaker 1: the commentary, let me give you the headlines from the 132 00:09:56,235 --> 00:09:58,955 Speaker 1: Trump Stormy Daniel's story. As you know, the grand jury 133 00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:02,395 Speaker 1: reconvened yesterday, but did not address this case. It will 134 00:10:02,595 --> 00:10:07,475 Speaker 1: reconvene Monday. Re reconvene, I guess, presumably to pick up 135 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:12,035 Speaker 1: Trump's indictment on business and electoral crimes. Attorney General Bragg 136 00:10:12,115 --> 00:10:15,115 Speaker 1: did act against some of those attempting to obstruct justice 137 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,195 Speaker 1: in this case, namely three of Kevin McCarthy's lawless fellow 138 00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:24,155 Speaker 1: travelers in Congress. The Manhattan District Attorney's General counsel replied 139 00:10:24,195 --> 00:10:27,675 Speaker 1: to a letter from Jamie Comer, whose college girlfriend says 140 00:10:27,675 --> 00:10:30,875 Speaker 1: he beat her, and Jim Jordan, who was accused of 141 00:10:30,915 --> 00:10:34,555 Speaker 1: covering up rape at Ohio State, and Brian Stile, who 142 00:10:34,595 --> 00:10:37,075 Speaker 1: appears to have misled the Capitol police into opening a 143 00:10:37,155 --> 00:10:40,515 Speaker 1: January sixth video viewing station they thought was for congressmen 144 00:10:40,755 --> 00:10:45,235 Speaker 1: but was actually for Tucker Carlson. The three wanted details 145 00:10:45,235 --> 00:10:49,755 Speaker 1: and documents from Bragg about the Trump investigation. The answer 146 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:56,635 Speaker 1: was ask Trump. The congressional letter to the Manhattan DA's 147 00:10:56,715 --> 00:11:00,635 Speaker 1: office quote only came after Donald Trump created a false 148 00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:03,795 Speaker 1: expectation that he would be arrested the next day, and 149 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,755 Speaker 1: his lawyers are portably urged you to intervene. Neither fact 150 00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:12,555 Speaker 1: is a legitimate basis for Congressional inquiry. The General Council 151 00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:15,115 Speaker 1: went on to remind the three McCarthy henchmen of the 152 00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:19,555 Speaker 1: independence of state law enforcement from federal interference. However, it 153 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,115 Speaker 1: does offer to meet with committee staff to see if 154 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,035 Speaker 1: there might be some basis to share any information, and 155 00:11:25,115 --> 00:11:29,195 Speaker 1: it underscores that the demands of the three scumbag congressmen 156 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:33,395 Speaker 1: are illegal. It was a very polite, very businesslike, and 157 00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:38,955 Speaker 1: very profound f you. As I have mentioned here previously, 158 00:11:38,995 --> 00:11:42,715 Speaker 1: Congress might have enough Republican votes to hold Alvin Bragg 159 00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:45,595 Speaker 1: in contempt. Such a citation would be referred to the 160 00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:49,915 Speaker 1: Department of Justice, which would ignore it. A Republican Attorney 161 00:11:49,955 --> 00:11:54,195 Speaker 1: General would probably also ignore. Politicians cannot access details of 162 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,755 Speaker 1: ongoing investigations, in part because so many of them are 163 00:11:56,755 --> 00:12:01,995 Speaker 1: the subjects of ongoing investigations. Back in Washington, Comer and 164 00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:06,715 Speaker 1: McCarthy replied by saying stupid things, even for them. McCarthy 165 00:12:06,755 --> 00:12:10,075 Speaker 1: said a Bragg quote, he doesn't prosecute anybody, He only 166 00:12:10,075 --> 00:12:16,515 Speaker 1: does political ones. Comer, who is just not bright, said 167 00:12:16,595 --> 00:12:20,715 Speaker 1: something even not brighter than usual. Quote a local DA 168 00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:24,715 Speaker 1: prosecuting a presidential candidate over federal election law. That happened 169 00:12:24,715 --> 00:12:29,115 Speaker 1: six years ago. That's a little unprecedented. Unquote. That also 170 00:12:29,195 --> 00:12:32,235 Speaker 1: neglects that you cannot prosecute a sitting president, so there 171 00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:35,075 Speaker 1: was no window for four of those years January twenty 172 00:12:35,315 --> 00:12:41,275 Speaker 1: seventeen to January twenty twenty one. Moron. One more headline 173 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:46,555 Speaker 1: Rolling Stone reporting Trump's lawyers have told him that if 174 00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:49,155 Speaker 1: he is indicted and tried in New York, he is 175 00:12:49,195 --> 00:12:51,955 Speaker 1: going to lose that case, and so should set his 176 00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:56,035 Speaker 1: hopes on the appeal, which might help to explain the 177 00:12:56,195 --> 00:13:10,355 Speaker 1: thirty four stochastic terrorist posts still ahead of us. On 178 00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:12,555 Speaker 1: this edition of Countdown, we are in the moment between 179 00:13:12,635 --> 00:13:17,595 Speaker 1: starbursts of excitement in the dominion lawsuit against Fox, but 180 00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:20,715 Speaker 1: maybe we ain't seen nothing yet. How about hearing this 181 00:13:21,755 --> 00:13:27,835 Speaker 1: The plaintiff calls as the next witness Rupert Murdock. And 182 00:13:27,955 --> 00:13:30,555 Speaker 1: there could be another lawsuit against Fox that would make 183 00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:32,955 Speaker 1: at least three big time ones, and it could stem 184 00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:36,955 Speaker 1: directly from Tucker Carlson's attempt to gaslight the world about 185 00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:39,795 Speaker 1: January sixth, and it may be filed by a man 186 00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:43,875 Speaker 1: named Ray Epps and in worse persons. He is an 187 00:13:43,955 --> 00:13:47,715 Speaker 1: upright congressman from Utah and a former football star. He's 188 00:13:47,715 --> 00:13:50,235 Speaker 1: trying to get the House to stop the Biden student 189 00:13:50,315 --> 00:13:56,835 Speaker 1: debt cancelation plan after he filed for bankruptcy five times. 190 00:13:56,835 --> 00:14:08,115 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. 191 00:14:12,235 --> 00:14:15,795 Speaker 1: Postscripts to the news some headlines, some update, some snarks, 192 00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:18,995 Speaker 1: some predictions. Dateline, Wilmington, Delaware. Just when you thought the 193 00:14:19,035 --> 00:14:23,555 Speaker 1: Dominion Voting System's defamation suit against Fox quote News unquote 194 00:14:23,635 --> 00:14:28,075 Speaker 1: was cooling off. At a preliminary hearing, the Delaware Superior 195 00:14:28,115 --> 00:14:30,835 Speaker 1: Court judge who will decide if the suit continues and 196 00:14:30,915 --> 00:14:34,075 Speaker 1: will preside over it if it does, ask the Fox 197 00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:38,595 Speaker 1: lawyers something very interesting. Did ownership quote have the power 198 00:14:38,675 --> 00:14:42,595 Speaker 1: to stop unquote TV hosts from booking guests who might 199 00:14:42,635 --> 00:14:46,395 Speaker 1: have been lying about the twenty twenty election outcome? Rupert 200 00:14:46,475 --> 00:14:50,115 Speaker 1: Murdoch said Judge Eric Davis holds a special role at 201 00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:53,675 Speaker 1: Fox Corporation that he may be able to be compelled 202 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:57,595 Speaker 1: to be here. Davis has yet to decide if he 203 00:14:57,675 --> 00:15:00,355 Speaker 1: might issue summary judgment. Both sides want it. If not, 204 00:15:00,715 --> 00:15:06,035 Speaker 1: jury selection starts April thirteenth, and Rupert Murdoch testimony begins, 205 00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:10,475 Speaker 1: we'll see Dateline Arizona. Fox may have another suit to 206 00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:13,155 Speaker 1: deal with a lawyer for Ray. Epps has written to 207 00:15:13,315 --> 00:15:16,955 Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson, Don't worry, somebody will read it to him, 208 00:15:16,995 --> 00:15:20,755 Speaker 1: demanding a retraction of his quote false and defamatory statements 209 00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:23,995 Speaker 1: that Epps was a government plant who instigated the January 210 00:15:24,035 --> 00:15:27,635 Speaker 1: sixth coup. He also wants a quote formal on air 211 00:15:27,715 --> 00:15:31,595 Speaker 1: apology for the lies from Carlson. The fanciful notions that 212 00:15:31,635 --> 00:15:35,195 Speaker 1: mister Carlson advances on his show regarding mister Epps's involvement 213 00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:39,235 Speaker 1: in the January sixth insurrection are demonstrably and already proven 214 00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:43,635 Speaker 1: to be false, and yet mister Carlson persists with his 215 00:15:44,075 --> 00:16:11,435 Speaker 1: assault on the truth. Thank Go, Nancy Faust and Dateline Tallahassee. 216 00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:14,395 Speaker 1: Ron de Santis announced details of his intention to roll 217 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:18,235 Speaker 1: back the First Amendment, and he emphasized one particular aspect. 218 00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:21,755 Speaker 1: If they're using anonymous sources, then that can be a 219 00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:26,995 Speaker 1: presumption that that was done with malice. On quote. Several 220 00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:31,395 Speaker 1: commentators have noted that if anonymous sources are suddenly presumed 221 00:16:31,435 --> 00:16:35,395 Speaker 1: to be evidence of malice, the entirety of right wing 222 00:16:35,515 --> 00:16:41,555 Speaker 1: media will disappear overnight. So go Ronda de Santis is 223 00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,675 Speaker 1: my choice for a leader of a party going after 224 00:16:43,755 --> 00:16:47,115 Speaker 1: drag queens while he wears high heeled shoes and tries 225 00:16:47,155 --> 00:17:03,355 Speaker 1: to put the New York posts out of business. Stell ahead. 226 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,235 Speaker 1: Every dog has its day, even the dog that bid 227 00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:11,115 Speaker 1: people please meet Mugs on Fridays with Thurber Next, first 228 00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:12,955 Speaker 1: time for the daily round up with the miscrants, morons 229 00:17:12,955 --> 00:17:16,515 Speaker 1: and Dunning Krueger Effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons 230 00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:22,635 Speaker 1: in the world Lebronze. Apple TV Plus. A year ago, 231 00:17:22,755 --> 00:17:27,075 Speaker 1: Apple TV Plus brought America possibly the worst set of 232 00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:31,875 Speaker 1: live sports broadcasts since Monday Night Football. Inexplicably put Dennis 233 00:17:31,915 --> 00:17:36,235 Speaker 1: Miller in the booth with Al Michaels Friday Night Baseball 234 00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:40,075 Speaker 1: on Apple TV Plus. I believe there were seven and 235 00:17:40,155 --> 00:17:43,155 Speaker 1: maybe eight different regular announcers who did two games every 236 00:17:43,155 --> 00:17:45,675 Speaker 1: Friday night, and they were all replaced for this season 237 00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:49,435 Speaker 1: except for one of the dugout reporters. Naturally, Apple has 238 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,955 Speaker 1: announced that something else has changed for this year. Friday 239 00:17:52,035 --> 00:17:54,595 Speaker 1: Night Baseball was free last year, but this year you'll 240 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:58,675 Speaker 1: need to have a subscription to Apple TV Plus seven 241 00:17:58,755 --> 00:18:04,435 Speaker 1: dollars a month to watch. Seven dollars. I mean, when 242 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:08,715 Speaker 1: Apple TV Friday Night Baseball was free, it was overpriced 243 00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:13,315 Speaker 1: runner up, the New York Post columnist Paul Sperry. Naturally, 244 00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:16,235 Speaker 1: the Murdock Rag's minion used the paper's unique ability to 245 00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:19,075 Speaker 1: leave out just enough facts to lie without really lying. 246 00:18:20,155 --> 00:18:23,035 Speaker 1: Sperry tweeted a link to a London Daily Mail article 247 00:18:23,075 --> 00:18:26,635 Speaker 1: from last year attacking Manhattan da Alvin Bragg's story of 248 00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:29,395 Speaker 1: having grown up in a rough neighborhood in Harlem. The 249 00:18:29,515 --> 00:18:32,075 Speaker 1: article noted that the brownstone on one hundred thirty ninth 250 00:18:32,115 --> 00:18:34,595 Speaker 1: Street in which he was raised is now worth two 251 00:18:34,675 --> 00:18:38,155 Speaker 1: point one million dollars. The article also left out that 252 00:18:38,235 --> 00:18:41,275 Speaker 1: in nineteen eighty five, when Bragg was growing up in 253 00:18:41,315 --> 00:18:44,355 Speaker 1: that neighborhood, the City of New York was auctioning off 254 00:18:44,475 --> 00:18:50,515 Speaker 1: brownstones throughout Harlem, including one on Bragg's exact street, on 255 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,315 Speaker 1: his block of one hundred and thirty ninth Streets Strivers Row, 256 00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:57,315 Speaker 1: one that the city owned because previous owners had defaulted 257 00:18:57,715 --> 00:19:01,155 Speaker 1: the entire building in a neighborhood where they're now worth 258 00:19:01,155 --> 00:19:04,875 Speaker 1: two point one million. The entire brownstone was auctioned for 259 00:19:04,955 --> 00:19:09,955 Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty six thousand. Paulsberry con Man, but 260 00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:14,315 Speaker 1: our winner, Burgess Owens all America defensive back, former New 261 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:18,275 Speaker 1: York Jet, member of the nineteen eighties Super Bowl champion Rails, 262 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:22,435 Speaker 1: and since twenty twenty one, the esteemed Republican congressman from 263 00:19:22,475 --> 00:19:26,795 Speaker 1: the fourth District of Utah. He is chairing a congressional 264 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:32,115 Speaker 1: committee investigating the Biden student debt relief program. Owens is 265 00:19:32,275 --> 00:19:37,995 Speaker 1: very pious about this quote. Debt cannot be canceled. He scolds, 266 00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:43,395 Speaker 1: only transferred from those who borrowed to those who did not. 267 00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:47,875 Speaker 1: The newspaper of the Salt Lake City Tribune noted something 268 00:19:48,195 --> 00:19:51,875 Speaker 1: else that was kind of flowery and unusual about Congressman Owens' 269 00:19:51,995 --> 00:19:56,475 Speaker 1: stance on this quote. Federal court records show Owens filed 270 00:19:56,515 --> 00:20:03,475 Speaker 1: for bankruptcy five times. No, Sir, debt cannot be canceled, cannet, Congressman, 271 00:20:03,675 --> 00:20:07,835 Speaker 1: but clearly it can try. Like hell huh Burgess one 272 00:20:08,035 --> 00:20:12,475 Speaker 1: All America Team two, Chapter seven bankruptcy filings, three, Chapter 273 00:20:12,555 --> 00:20:37,035 Speaker 1: thirteen bankruptcy filings. Owens two days worst person and still ahead. 274 00:20:37,075 --> 00:20:41,635 Speaker 1: On Countdown Fridays with James Thurber. James Thurbert loved dogs, 275 00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:48,835 Speaker 1: and he loved imperfect dogs like Mugs, the dog who 276 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:53,035 Speaker 1: bit people first. In each edition of Countdown, fittingly, we 277 00:20:53,115 --> 00:20:56,915 Speaker 1: feature a dog, usually an imperfect dog, who is in 278 00:20:56,915 --> 00:20:59,835 Speaker 1: need and who you can help. Every dog has its day. 279 00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,675 Speaker 1: Lace is not just on death row at the New 280 00:21:03,755 --> 00:21:08,875 Speaker 1: York Pound. He's been taken off the public lists. That 281 00:21:08,955 --> 00:21:11,275 Speaker 1: means he may be gone by the time you hear 282 00:21:11,315 --> 00:21:14,475 Speaker 1: about him. But our pledges to help a dog rescue 283 00:21:14,515 --> 00:21:17,115 Speaker 1: group pull and save and train him might yelp pull 284 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:21,275 Speaker 1: off a miracle. Lace is a gray black dog of pity, 285 00:21:21,355 --> 00:21:24,675 Speaker 1: so he's got strikes against him already. Yet he loves 286 00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,995 Speaker 1: other dogs and people. He may have too much energy 287 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,515 Speaker 1: for kids, but he's never bitten, he's never guarded stuff, 288 00:21:29,875 --> 00:21:33,235 Speaker 1: and he's eighteen months old. You can find Lace on 289 00:21:33,275 --> 00:21:36,715 Speaker 1: my Twitter feeds. Just your retweet can also help. Your 290 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:40,115 Speaker 1: pledge would help more. I thank you, and Lace thanks 291 00:21:40,155 --> 00:21:57,475 Speaker 1: you to the number one story on the Countdown and 292 00:21:57,555 --> 00:22:00,635 Speaker 1: Fridays with Thurber. And it's amazing to me in retrospect, 293 00:22:00,675 --> 00:22:06,035 Speaker 1: how I read all of his wonderful, realistic, goopy writing 294 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:11,235 Speaker 1: about dogs and enjoyed it thoroughly, years before I was 295 00:22:11,275 --> 00:22:16,795 Speaker 1: ever adopted by a dog. Now, reading his dog stories 296 00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:20,275 Speaker 1: and anecdotes is like reading about a bunch of friends, 297 00:22:21,275 --> 00:22:26,075 Speaker 1: even that one surly friend for whom we must continuously 298 00:22:26,155 --> 00:22:33,555 Speaker 1: make excuses. The dog that bit people by James Thurber. 299 00:22:35,835 --> 00:22:39,275 Speaker 1: Probably no one man should have as many dogs in 300 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:42,515 Speaker 1: this life as I have had, But there was more 301 00:22:42,515 --> 00:22:45,395 Speaker 1: pleasure than distress in them for me, except in the 302 00:22:45,435 --> 00:22:50,395 Speaker 1: case of an airedale named Mugs. He gave me more 303 00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:53,955 Speaker 1: trouble than all the other fifty four or five put together. 304 00:22:54,475 --> 00:22:58,675 Speaker 1: Although my moment of keenest embarrassment was the time a 305 00:22:58,715 --> 00:23:02,075 Speaker 1: Scotch Terrier named Genie, who had just had six puppies 306 00:23:02,075 --> 00:23:04,515 Speaker 1: in the clothes closet of a fourth floor apartment in 307 00:23:04,555 --> 00:23:08,995 Speaker 1: New York, had the unexpected seventh and last at the 308 00:23:08,995 --> 00:23:11,995 Speaker 1: corner of Eleventh Street and Fifth Avenue during a walk 309 00:23:12,155 --> 00:23:15,675 Speaker 1: she had insisted on taking. Then two there was the 310 00:23:15,755 --> 00:23:19,315 Speaker 1: prize winning French poodle, a giant, big black poodle, none 311 00:23:19,355 --> 00:23:23,715 Speaker 1: of your little, untroublesome white miniatures, who got sick riding 312 00:23:23,755 --> 00:23:26,235 Speaker 1: in the rumble seat of a car with me on 313 00:23:26,275 --> 00:23:28,675 Speaker 1: her way to the Greenwich Dog Show. She had a 314 00:23:28,715 --> 00:23:31,795 Speaker 1: red rubber bib tucked around her throat end. Since a 315 00:23:31,915 --> 00:23:34,875 Speaker 1: rainstorm came up when we were halfway through the Bronx, 316 00:23:35,355 --> 00:23:40,515 Speaker 1: I had to hold over her. A small green umbrella 317 00:23:40,835 --> 00:23:44,835 Speaker 1: really more of a parasol. The rain beat down fearfully, 318 00:23:44,875 --> 00:23:46,875 Speaker 1: and suddenly the driver of the car drove into a 319 00:23:46,915 --> 00:23:50,235 Speaker 1: big garage filled with mechanics. It happened so quickly that 320 00:23:50,275 --> 00:23:53,315 Speaker 1: I forgot to put the umbrella down, and I will 321 00:23:53,355 --> 00:23:59,115 Speaker 1: always remember with sickening distress the look of incredulity mixed 322 00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:02,315 Speaker 1: with hatred that came over the face of the particular 323 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:05,035 Speaker 1: hardened garage man that came over to see what we 324 00:24:05,075 --> 00:24:07,715 Speaker 1: wanted when he took a look at me and the poodle. 325 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:13,515 Speaker 1: All garage men and people of that intolerant stripe hate 326 00:24:13,635 --> 00:24:18,275 Speaker 1: poodles with their curious haircuts, especially the pom poms that 327 00:24:18,315 --> 00:24:20,635 Speaker 1: you got to leave on their hips if you expect 328 00:24:20,675 --> 00:24:26,435 Speaker 1: the dogs to win a prize. But the Airedale, as 329 00:24:26,435 --> 00:24:28,835 Speaker 1: I have said, was the worst of all my dogs. 330 00:24:28,955 --> 00:24:31,795 Speaker 1: He really wasn't my dog. Matter of fact, I came 331 00:24:31,835 --> 00:24:33,795 Speaker 1: home from a vacation one summer to find that my 332 00:24:33,835 --> 00:24:38,515 Speaker 1: brother Roy had bought him while I was away. The big, burly, 333 00:24:38,995 --> 00:24:42,835 Speaker 1: choleric dog. He always acted as if he thought I 334 00:24:42,995 --> 00:24:46,675 Speaker 1: wasn't one of the family. There was a slight advantage 335 00:24:46,675 --> 00:24:48,635 Speaker 1: in being one of the family, for he didn't bite 336 00:24:48,675 --> 00:24:52,115 Speaker 1: the family as often as a bit strangers still. In 337 00:24:52,155 --> 00:24:55,315 Speaker 1: the years that we had him, he bit everybody but mother, 338 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:59,195 Speaker 1: and he made a pass at her once but missed. 339 00:25:00,275 --> 00:25:02,515 Speaker 1: It was during the month when we suddenly had mice, 340 00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:07,035 Speaker 1: and Mugs refused to anything about them. Nobody ever had 341 00:25:07,155 --> 00:25:09,435 Speaker 1: mice exactly like the mice we had that month. They 342 00:25:09,435 --> 00:25:13,475 Speaker 1: acted like pet mice, almost like mice somebody had trained. 343 00:25:15,475 --> 00:25:17,995 Speaker 1: They were so friendly that one night, when Mother entertained 344 00:25:17,995 --> 00:25:21,275 Speaker 1: at dinner the Free relilas a club she and my 345 00:25:21,315 --> 00:25:23,995 Speaker 1: father had belonged to for twenty years, she put down 346 00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:25,995 Speaker 1: a lot of little dishes with food in them on 347 00:25:26,035 --> 00:25:29,355 Speaker 1: the pantry floor so that the mice would be satisfied 348 00:25:29,395 --> 00:25:31,675 Speaker 1: with that and would not come into the dining room. 349 00:25:32,915 --> 00:25:36,635 Speaker 1: Muggs stayed out in the pantry with the mice lying 350 00:25:36,675 --> 00:25:39,955 Speaker 1: on the floor, growling to himself, not at the mice, 351 00:25:40,515 --> 00:25:42,515 Speaker 1: but about all the people in the next room that 352 00:25:42,555 --> 00:25:46,715 Speaker 1: he would have liked to get at. Mother slipped out 353 00:25:46,715 --> 00:25:48,995 Speaker 1: into the pantry once to see how everything was going. 354 00:25:49,595 --> 00:25:53,035 Speaker 1: Everything was going fine. It made her so mad to 355 00:25:53,035 --> 00:25:56,555 Speaker 1: see Mugs lying there oblivious of the mice. They came 356 00:25:56,635 --> 00:26:00,795 Speaker 1: running up to her that she slapped him, and he 357 00:26:01,035 --> 00:26:04,835 Speaker 1: slashed at her, but didn't make it. He was sorry immediately. 358 00:26:05,155 --> 00:26:08,875 Speaker 1: Mother said he was always sorry, she said after he 359 00:26:08,955 --> 00:26:11,435 Speaker 1: bit someone. But we could not understand how she figured 360 00:26:11,475 --> 00:26:16,155 Speaker 1: this out. He didn't act sorry. Mother used to send 361 00:26:16,155 --> 00:26:18,555 Speaker 1: a box of candy every Christmas to the people the 362 00:26:18,595 --> 00:26:23,515 Speaker 1: airedale bit. The list finally contained forty or more names. 363 00:26:24,355 --> 00:26:26,555 Speaker 1: Nobody could understand why we did not get rid of 364 00:26:26,555 --> 00:26:28,795 Speaker 1: the dog. I didn't understand it very well myself, but 365 00:26:28,915 --> 00:26:32,755 Speaker 1: we didn't get rid of him. I think that one 366 00:26:32,835 --> 00:26:37,075 Speaker 1: or two people tried to poison Mugs. He acted poisoned 367 00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:41,195 Speaker 1: once in a while, and old Major Moberly fired at 368 00:26:41,275 --> 00:26:44,395 Speaker 1: him once with his service revolver near the Seneca Hotel 369 00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:48,355 Speaker 1: and He's Broad Street. But Muggs lived to almost eleven 370 00:26:48,435 --> 00:26:50,395 Speaker 1: years old, and even when he could hardly get around. 371 00:26:50,555 --> 00:26:53,515 Speaker 1: He bit a congressman who had called to see my 372 00:26:53,595 --> 00:26:58,115 Speaker 1: father on business. My mother had never liked the congressman. 373 00:26:59,195 --> 00:27:02,115 Speaker 1: She said the signs of his horoscope showed he couldn't 374 00:27:02,195 --> 00:27:05,315 Speaker 1: be trusted. He was saturned with the moon and virgo. 375 00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:08,755 Speaker 1: But she sent him a box of candy that Christmas. Anyway, 376 00:27:09,235 --> 00:27:12,715 Speaker 1: he sent it right back, probably because he suspected it 377 00:27:12,755 --> 00:27:17,075 Speaker 1: was trick candy. Mother persuaded herself that it was all 378 00:27:17,115 --> 00:27:18,915 Speaker 1: for the best that the dog had bitten him, even 379 00:27:18,955 --> 00:27:21,915 Speaker 1: though father lost an important business association because of it. 380 00:27:22,315 --> 00:27:25,555 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be associated with such a man. Mother said, 381 00:27:25,955 --> 00:27:30,235 Speaker 1: Muggs could read him like a book. We used to 382 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:33,555 Speaker 1: take turns feeding Mugs to be on his good side, 383 00:27:33,635 --> 00:27:36,235 Speaker 1: but that didn't always work. He was never in a 384 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:39,915 Speaker 1: very good humor even after a meal. Nobody knew exactly 385 00:27:39,955 --> 00:27:42,755 Speaker 1: what was the matter with him, but whatever it was, 386 00:27:42,835 --> 00:27:47,675 Speaker 1: it made him irascible, especially in the mornings. Roy my brother, 387 00:27:48,115 --> 00:27:51,155 Speaker 1: never felt very well in the morning either, especially before breakfast, 388 00:27:51,195 --> 00:27:54,195 Speaker 1: and once when he came downstairs and found that Muggs 389 00:27:54,275 --> 00:27:58,195 Speaker 1: had moodily chewed up the morning paper, he hit him 390 00:27:58,195 --> 00:28:01,475 Speaker 1: in the face with a grapefruit and then jumped up 391 00:28:01,475 --> 00:28:05,315 Speaker 1: on the dining room table, scattering dishes and overwear and 392 00:28:05,515 --> 00:28:10,035 Speaker 1: spilling the coffee. Mug's first free leap carried him all 393 00:28:10,075 --> 00:28:13,155 Speaker 1: the way across the table and into a brass fire 394 00:28:13,195 --> 00:28:15,755 Speaker 1: screen in front of the gas grate, but he was 395 00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:17,315 Speaker 1: back on his feet in a moment, and in the 396 00:28:17,395 --> 00:28:19,475 Speaker 1: end he got Roy and gave him a pretty vicious 397 00:28:19,475 --> 00:28:22,515 Speaker 1: bite in the leg. Then he was all over it. 398 00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:24,995 Speaker 1: He never bid anyone more than once at a time. 399 00:28:26,115 --> 00:28:29,315 Speaker 1: Mother always mentioned that as an argument in his favor. 400 00:28:29,595 --> 00:28:31,955 Speaker 1: She said he had a quick temper, but that he 401 00:28:31,995 --> 00:28:36,595 Speaker 1: didn't hold a grudge. She was forever defending him. I 402 00:28:36,635 --> 00:28:40,435 Speaker 1: think she liked him because he wasn't well. He's not strong, 403 00:28:41,315 --> 00:28:46,355 Speaker 1: she would say, pityingly, But that was inaccurate. He may 404 00:28:46,355 --> 00:28:51,235 Speaker 1: not have been well, but he was terribly strong. One 405 00:28:51,275 --> 00:28:54,195 Speaker 1: time my mother went to the Chittenden Hotel to call 406 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:57,755 Speaker 1: on a woman mental healer who was lecturing in Columbus 407 00:28:57,795 --> 00:29:02,035 Speaker 1: on the subject of harmonious vibrations. She wanted to find 408 00:29:02,035 --> 00:29:05,235 Speaker 1: out if it was possible to get harmonious vibrations into 409 00:29:05,235 --> 00:29:10,475 Speaker 1: a dog. He's a large, tan colored Airdale, Mother explained. 410 00:29:11,075 --> 00:29:13,395 Speaker 1: The woman said that she had never treated a dog, 411 00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:16,595 Speaker 1: but she advised my mother to hold the thought that 412 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:21,035 Speaker 1: he did not bite and would not bite. Mother was 413 00:29:21,075 --> 00:29:23,435 Speaker 1: holding the thought the very next morning when Muggs got 414 00:29:23,435 --> 00:29:26,475 Speaker 1: the ice man. But she blamed that slip up on 415 00:29:26,555 --> 00:29:29,115 Speaker 1: the ice man. If you didn't think he would bite you, 416 00:29:29,355 --> 00:29:32,955 Speaker 1: he wouldn't. Mother told him. He stomped out of the 417 00:29:32,955 --> 00:29:38,275 Speaker 1: house in a terrible jangle of vibrations. One morning when 418 00:29:38,355 --> 00:29:41,275 Speaker 1: Mugs bit me slightly more or less in passing. I 419 00:29:41,315 --> 00:29:44,715 Speaker 1: reached down and grabbed his short, stumpy tail and hoisted 420 00:29:44,795 --> 00:29:49,115 Speaker 1: him into the air. It was a foolhardy thing to do, 421 00:29:49,235 --> 00:29:51,475 Speaker 1: and the last time I saw my mother, about six 422 00:29:51,515 --> 00:29:54,075 Speaker 1: months ago, she said she didn't know what possessed me. 423 00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:58,595 Speaker 1: I don't either, except that I was pretty mad. As 424 00:29:58,635 --> 00:30:00,795 Speaker 1: long as I held the dog off the floor by 425 00:30:00,835 --> 00:30:03,075 Speaker 1: his tail, he couldn't get at me, but he twisted 426 00:30:03,075 --> 00:30:06,395 Speaker 1: and jerked so snarl all the time that I realized 427 00:30:07,075 --> 00:30:10,395 Speaker 1: I couldn't hold him that way very long, and I 428 00:30:10,435 --> 00:30:12,715 Speaker 1: carried him into the kitchen and flung him onto the 429 00:30:12,755 --> 00:30:14,715 Speaker 1: floor and shut the door on him just as he 430 00:30:14,955 --> 00:30:20,515 Speaker 1: crashed against it. But I forgot about the backstairs. Muggs 431 00:30:20,515 --> 00:30:23,675 Speaker 1: went up the backstairs and down the front stairs and 432 00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:27,075 Speaker 1: had me cornered in the living room. I managed to 433 00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:29,635 Speaker 1: get up onto the mantelpiece above the fireplace, but it 434 00:30:29,715 --> 00:30:33,795 Speaker 1: gave way and came down with a tremendous crash, throwing 435 00:30:33,835 --> 00:30:38,035 Speaker 1: a large marble clock, several vases, and myself heavily to 436 00:30:38,115 --> 00:30:42,675 Speaker 1: the floor. Muggs was so alarmed by the racket that 437 00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:45,715 Speaker 1: when I picked myself up, he had disappeared. We couldn't 438 00:30:45,715 --> 00:30:49,835 Speaker 1: find him anywhere, although we whistled and shouted, until old 439 00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:54,475 Speaker 1: Missus Detwiler called after dinner that night. Muggs had bitten 440 00:30:54,515 --> 00:30:56,795 Speaker 1: her once in the leg, and she came into the 441 00:30:56,835 --> 00:30:59,355 Speaker 1: living room only after we assured her that Muggs had 442 00:30:59,435 --> 00:31:03,875 Speaker 1: run away. She had just seated herself when with great 443 00:31:03,995 --> 00:31:08,835 Speaker 1: growling and scratching of claws, mugs emerged from under a 444 00:31:08,955 --> 00:31:12,395 Speaker 1: davenport where he had been quietly hiding all the time 445 00:31:13,155 --> 00:31:17,875 Speaker 1: and bit her again. Mother examined the bite and put 446 00:31:17,995 --> 00:31:20,275 Speaker 1: arnica on it and told Missus Detwiller that it was 447 00:31:20,315 --> 00:31:24,875 Speaker 1: only a bruise. He just bumped you, she said. But 448 00:31:25,075 --> 00:31:28,675 Speaker 1: Missus Detwiller left our house in a nasty state of mind. 449 00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:32,915 Speaker 1: Lots of people reported our airdale to the police, but 450 00:31:33,035 --> 00:31:35,395 Speaker 1: my father held a municipal office at the time and 451 00:31:35,475 --> 00:31:39,075 Speaker 1: was on friendly terms with the police. Even so, the 452 00:31:39,155 --> 00:31:41,755 Speaker 1: cops had been out a couple of times, once when 453 00:31:41,915 --> 00:31:45,435 Speaker 1: Muggs bit Missus Rufus Stirred event and again when he 454 00:31:45,475 --> 00:31:49,195 Speaker 1: bit Lieutenant Governor Malloy, But mother told him it hadn't 455 00:31:49,195 --> 00:31:51,235 Speaker 1: been Muggs's fault, but the fault of the people who 456 00:31:51,275 --> 00:31:55,835 Speaker 1: were bitten. When he starts for them, they scream, she explained, 457 00:31:56,395 --> 00:32:00,075 Speaker 1: and that excites him. The cops suggested that it might 458 00:32:00,115 --> 00:32:02,035 Speaker 1: be a good idea to tie the dog up, but 459 00:32:02,115 --> 00:32:05,115 Speaker 1: mother said that it mortified him to be up, and 460 00:32:05,155 --> 00:32:09,195 Speaker 1: that he wouldn't eat when he was tied up. Mugs 461 00:32:09,235 --> 00:32:11,875 Speaker 1: at his meals was an unusual sight because of the 462 00:32:11,875 --> 00:32:14,835 Speaker 1: fact that if you reach toward the floor, he would 463 00:32:15,435 --> 00:32:19,035 Speaker 1: bite you. We usually put his food plate on top 464 00:32:19,075 --> 00:32:22,035 Speaker 1: of an old kitchen table with a bench alongside the table. 465 00:32:22,195 --> 00:32:26,115 Speaker 1: Mugs would stand on the bench and eat. I remember 466 00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:29,395 Speaker 1: that my mother's uncle Horatio, who boasted that he was 467 00:32:29,635 --> 00:32:35,075 Speaker 1: the third man up Missionary Ridge, was flutteringly indignant when 468 00:32:35,115 --> 00:32:36,875 Speaker 1: he found out that we fed the dog on a 469 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:40,155 Speaker 1: table because we were afraid to put his plate on 470 00:32:40,195 --> 00:32:42,835 Speaker 1: the floor. He said he wasn't afraid of any dog 471 00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:44,835 Speaker 1: that ever lived, and that he would put the dog's 472 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:47,675 Speaker 1: plate on the floor if we would give it to him. 473 00:32:47,835 --> 00:32:50,395 Speaker 1: Roy said that if Uncle Horatio had fed mugs on 474 00:32:50,435 --> 00:32:52,795 Speaker 1: the ground just before the battle, he would have been 475 00:32:52,795 --> 00:32:58,555 Speaker 1: the first man up Missionary Ridge. Uncle Horatio was furious, 476 00:32:59,035 --> 00:33:05,115 Speaker 1: Ray raymen, now, he shouted, I'll feed them murmur on 477 00:33:05,155 --> 00:33:08,995 Speaker 1: the floor. Roy was all for giving him a chance, 478 00:33:09,035 --> 00:33:10,875 Speaker 1: but my father wouldn't hear of it. He said that 479 00:33:10,955 --> 00:33:15,475 Speaker 1: Muggs had already been fed. I'll feed him again, bawled 480 00:33:15,595 --> 00:33:21,075 Speaker 1: Uncle Horatio. We had quite a time quieting him. In 481 00:33:21,115 --> 00:33:24,275 Speaker 1: his last year. Muggs used to spend practically all of 482 00:33:24,315 --> 00:33:27,395 Speaker 1: his time outdoors. He didn't like to stay in the 483 00:33:27,435 --> 00:33:29,755 Speaker 1: house for some reason or other. Perhaps it held too 484 00:33:29,755 --> 00:33:33,315 Speaker 1: many unpleasant memories for him. Anyway, it was hard to 485 00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:35,115 Speaker 1: get him to come in, and as a result, the 486 00:33:35,155 --> 00:33:38,195 Speaker 1: garbage man, the iceman, and the laundryman would not come 487 00:33:38,355 --> 00:33:41,675 Speaker 1: near our house. We had to haul the garbage down 488 00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:44,235 Speaker 1: to the corner, take the laundry out, and bring it 489 00:33:44,275 --> 00:33:46,595 Speaker 1: back and meet the ice man a block from home. 490 00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,995 Speaker 1: After this had gone on for some time, we hit 491 00:33:50,075 --> 00:33:52,915 Speaker 1: on an ingenious arrangement for getting the dog in the 492 00:33:52,955 --> 00:33:55,395 Speaker 1: house so that we could lock him up while the 493 00:33:55,955 --> 00:34:00,355 Speaker 1: gas meter was read and so on. Muggs was afraid 494 00:34:00,515 --> 00:34:08,595 Speaker 1: of only one thing. An electrical storm. Thunder and lightning 495 00:34:08,675 --> 00:34:12,915 Speaker 1: frightened him out of his senses. I think he thought 496 00:34:12,915 --> 00:34:16,195 Speaker 1: a storm had broken the day the mantelpiece spell. He 497 00:34:16,235 --> 00:34:18,675 Speaker 1: would rush into the house and hide under a bed 498 00:34:18,755 --> 00:34:21,995 Speaker 1: or in a clothes closet, so we fixed up a 499 00:34:22,035 --> 00:34:25,235 Speaker 1: thunder machine out of a long, narrow piece of sheet 500 00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:28,395 Speaker 1: iron with a wooden handle on one end. Mother would 501 00:34:28,395 --> 00:34:31,475 Speaker 1: shake this vigorously when she wanted to get Mugs into 502 00:34:31,475 --> 00:34:34,395 Speaker 1: the house. It made an excellent imitation of thunder. But 503 00:34:34,475 --> 00:34:37,355 Speaker 1: I suppose it was the most roundabout system for running 504 00:34:37,355 --> 00:34:41,035 Speaker 1: a household that was ever devised. It took a lot 505 00:34:41,075 --> 00:34:44,995 Speaker 1: out of Mother. A few months before Mugs died, he 506 00:34:45,075 --> 00:34:50,955 Speaker 1: got to seeing things. He would rise slowly from the floor, 507 00:34:51,595 --> 00:34:58,995 Speaker 1: growling low and stalk, stiff legged and menacing toward nothing 508 00:34:59,035 --> 00:35:02,995 Speaker 1: at all. Sometimes the thing would be just a little 509 00:35:03,035 --> 00:35:06,075 Speaker 1: to the right or left of a visitor. Once a 510 00:35:06,115 --> 00:35:10,915 Speaker 1: fuller brush salesman got hysterics. Muggs came wandering into the 511 00:35:10,995 --> 00:35:14,275 Speaker 1: room like Hamlet following his father's ghost. His eyes were 512 00:35:14,275 --> 00:35:16,795 Speaker 1: fixed on a spot just to the left of the 513 00:35:16,835 --> 00:35:20,435 Speaker 1: fuller brushman, who stood it until Muggs was about three 514 00:35:20,995 --> 00:35:26,155 Speaker 1: slow creeping paces from him. Then he shouted it. Muggs 515 00:35:26,155 --> 00:35:29,235 Speaker 1: wavered on past him into the hallway, grumbling to himself, 516 00:35:29,235 --> 00:35:31,995 Speaker 1: but the fuller man went on shouting. I think Mother 517 00:35:32,035 --> 00:35:34,355 Speaker 1: had to throw a pan of cold water on him 518 00:35:34,355 --> 00:35:37,035 Speaker 1: before he stopped. That was the way she used to 519 00:35:37,075 --> 00:35:41,235 Speaker 1: stop us boys when we got into fights. Muggs died 520 00:35:41,315 --> 00:35:44,715 Speaker 1: quite suddenly one night. Mother wanted to bury him in 521 00:35:44,755 --> 00:35:47,355 Speaker 1: the family lot under a marble stone with some such 522 00:35:47,395 --> 00:35:50,795 Speaker 1: inscription as flights of angels seeing thee to thy rest. 523 00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:55,155 Speaker 1: But we persuaded her it was against the law. In 524 00:35:55,235 --> 00:35:57,435 Speaker 1: the end we just put up a smooth board above 525 00:35:57,475 --> 00:36:01,155 Speaker 1: his grave along a lonely road. On the board I 526 00:36:01,195 --> 00:36:07,475 Speaker 1: wrote with an indelible pencil, kab Khana. Mother was quite 527 00:36:07,515 --> 00:36:11,475 Speaker 1: pleased with the simple, classic dignity of the old Latin 528 00:36:11,515 --> 00:36:31,875 Speaker 1: epitaph The Dog that Bit People by James Thurber. I've 529 00:36:31,915 --> 00:36:33,755 Speaker 1: done all the damage I can do here. Thank you 530 00:36:33,795 --> 00:36:39,395 Speaker 1: for listening. Tell the others. Here are credits. Most of 531 00:36:39,435 --> 00:36:42,115 Speaker 1: the music was arranged, produced, and performed by Brian Ray 532 00:36:42,115 --> 00:36:45,475 Speaker 1: and John Philip Channel, who are the Countdown musical directors. 533 00:36:45,515 --> 00:36:49,235 Speaker 1: All orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Channel, guitarist based 534 00:36:49,235 --> 00:36:52,435 Speaker 1: and drums by Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers. 535 00:36:52,795 --> 00:36:55,795 Speaker 1: Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the 536 00:36:55,795 --> 00:36:59,555 Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Olderman 537 00:36:59,675 --> 00:37:01,915 Speaker 1: theme from ESPN two, and it was written by Mitch 538 00:37:01,955 --> 00:37:06,875 Speaker 1: Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Faust. 539 00:37:06,955 --> 00:37:10,275 Speaker 1: The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was 540 00:37:10,355 --> 00:37:13,835 Speaker 1: Larry David. Everything else is pretty much my fault. So 541 00:37:13,915 --> 00:37:16,395 Speaker 1: let's countdown for this, the eight hundred and eighth day 542 00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:20,115 Speaker 1: since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected 543 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:24,115 Speaker 1: government of the United States. Arrest him now for stochastic 544 00:37:24,195 --> 00:37:28,275 Speaker 1: terrorism while we still can. The next schedule in countdown 545 00:37:28,355 --> 00:37:31,835 Speaker 1: is Monday. Until then, I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 546 00:37:32,395 --> 00:37:47,275 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production 547 00:37:47,395 --> 00:37:52,715 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 548 00:37:52,795 --> 00:37:56,155 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.