WEBVTT - “I GREW UP ON A RESERVATION” 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:02.520 All from Rati tug Satte. 0:00:03.800 --> 0:00:06.480 Hello, Hello, Hi, what's your name? 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:09.800 Well, you can call me Cam, because I mean, I'm 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:12.600 sure my name is kind of hard to pronounce. 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:14.760 What's your name? 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:17.599 Ratieron tug Satte. 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:19.279 Say one more time? 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.360 Ratzer on tug sat. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:29.479 Ratieran pag sat Yes. Why why did you shorten that 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:29.960 to Cam? 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.240 Well, so it's it's it's a long story. 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:33.760 Uh. 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.600 So I grew up in a part of the Iroquois 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:47.400 Confederacy and basically I'm Mohawk, uh native. Uh So we 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:51.000 have names that are given to us by shaman, and 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:55.880 then we have our birth certificate names, which is usually Americanized. 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.280 Oh okay, so your Americanized birth certificate name is Cam, 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.160 and uh, your your real name is the other one? 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:04.320 Yes, exactly. 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:06.240 What are your friends call you? 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.520 Oh? They just called me Cam. 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:11.839 Does anyone call you by your real name? 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.160 No? Because I mean I moved out a little bit ago, 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:23.000 just off the border of our reservation. Uh about nine 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:25.399 years ago. I would say, mm hmm. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:26.840 How old are you? 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:28.360 I'm about to turn nineteen? 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.800 Oh cool man. Uh. Where where was your reservation again? 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:38.240 It's in upstate New York. Uh, it's uh called AQUOSOSNY. 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:39.319 I don't know if you've heard of it? 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.920 Mm hmm. Is it like a well known reservation? 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:47.600 Yeah, I would say that. How big is it spans 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:55.000 from about I'm bad with my Canadian Uh what would 0:01:55.040 --> 0:02:00.080 you say? Like geography? I think like under Quebec and 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:02.520 then it goes all the way to like downstate New. 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:06.040 York and you go up there your whole life. 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:08.680 Yeah, I mean. 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:13.799 I I spent some time in Italy. That's pretty much 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:18.200 all of my heritage is Native and Italian, so I've 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.919 been hopping through families pretty much all of my life. 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:24.600 What was it like growing up on the reservation. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.760 Well, I mean I could definitely get into a lot 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:36.320 of the dark history of stuff up here. Well, we 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:39.639 have a lot of gangs up here that are run 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.880 by you know MS thirteen. We have like a separate branch, 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:45.799 so the way that a lot of things work up 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:51.360 here anyway, I guess you can break down gang activity throughout. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:53.680 I mean even just the United States is a total 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:58.320 of you know, easiest, easiest borders to enter and a 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.480 lot we get a lot of opium and cracked and 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:05.760 mess and stuff like that up here, So you know, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:08.480 there's a lot of poverty and a lot of our 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.800 just an upstate New York in general, our kind of 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:18.200 local culture is propped up by drugs. 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:24.359 Mhm. And are you were you ever involved in any 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:27.840 of that stuff growing up or stay away from it? 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:35.360 Well, it's it's a yes and no. I guess my 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:44.240 parents met my my father was selling drugs to people, uh, 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:49.440 you know all throughout uh you know the reservation him 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:55.320 and another like addict were you know, using a uh 0:03:55.720 --> 0:04:02.119 charity organization too, I guess money through and that's where 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:04.280 he met my mom, who was using at the time. 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:12.800 And you know, there was a lot of uh drama there. 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:15.160 But I mean on my my mom's side of the family, 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:20.560 we have a lot of run ins with mafia, especially 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.360 in Drague. I don't know if you've heard of it. 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:29.440 It's uh Sicilian mafia. My let's see my what third cousin, 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:35.040 I would say, uh was pretty close with I'm trying 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:36.120 to think of Tony Bennett. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:39.320 I don't do you know that musician Tony Bennett. 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:39.479 No. 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:47.599 I think if the opening song of good Fellas, I 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:52.279 think he Rags to riches he wrote that song, well, 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:58.919 uh so hypothetically allegedly, how However, I may phrase it 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:01.880 to uh not land any of us in any trouble. 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:07.640 But they lived with each other in Watertown, New York 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:11.320 for a while, and his fame was pretty much brought 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:18.960 up on money being funneled through local mafia sect, I guess, 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:23.800 you could say. And that's one of the many things 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:26.560 that brought you know, his rise to fame. And that's 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.480 where that side of the family got, I guess connected 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:32.599 with some of the mafia. And I do have some 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:37.880 brothers and sisters back home, like in Italy anyway that 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.400 that do still run. The only things that I have 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:45.600 ever done I washed bitcoin through several cash app accounts. 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.279 Somebody would make a purchase on some form of illegal 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:52.400 goods and I would get the bitcoin, take ten percent 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.719 of it, and then send it through multiple accounts to 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:58.159 get to the main account. But I stopped doing that, 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:06.000 especially because recently have started to actually have a family, 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:10.279 you know, uh my my girlfriend soon to be fiance, 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:14.279 you know, has has been a major part of my life. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.360 And that's the reason I won't go to the military 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:19.080 now is because I'm I'm I don't want to risk 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.120 any of that anymore. And I mean I could very well, 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.479 you know, go into you know, criminal organizations at any 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:29.080 moment in time, or do more than selling weed. I mean, 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:33.080 of course, I mean everybody up here pushes at least 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:38.520 announced a month, like but you know, that's really nothing 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.080 in the grand scheme of things. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.719 But I have to ask you before you continue any further. 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.960 Are you about to get whacked for talking about all 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:47.080 this on the Gecko Show? 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.960 I don't believe so. I mean, a lot of the 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:55.760 people who I mentioned are dead, and a lot of 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:59.320 the people are either arrested, and a lot of a 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:01.520 lot of the people that I I do know who 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:05.520 are you know, currently engaged in this sort of behavior, 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:09.560 are usually across seas and whatnot. I did want to 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.480 bring up one thing, but before I forgot I did 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:13.480 call you at one point. Do you remember the name 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.440 Peeballs Pretzel shop by any chance? 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:20.800 Yes, I do, I do remember that. Yeah, it was 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.800 in front the whole time. The pretzel shop was just 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:23.240 a front. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.080 Yeah, no fucking I got that removed by the way. 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.080 Just so then, like, if I ever were to call 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.120 you again, you wouldn't you know, get a little bit worried, 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:34.480 you know, for my safety. 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.080 Damn, dude, I don't remember what we talked about or whatever. 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:44.760 I think I was probably yeah, pretty much, Yeah, I 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:49.760 do remember that. But but that aside. Hmmm, well, okay, 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.520 I have a bunch of questions. Okay, first of all, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.000 what do you mean isn't weeds legal in New York? Well, 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:56.520 how are they pushing an ounce of weed? 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:01.320 Well, because everybody grows I mean legal, you know. It's 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.160 you You can go to like any neighborhood, any you know, 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:06.680 like little crack house on the side, and you'd be like, hey, 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:08.240 can I go see your shed? And you'll probably see 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:14.280 like at least ten plants. It's it's technically you're not 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:16.080 supposed to have that many plants. But at this point, 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:17.840 you know, so many people are growing that there's pretty 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:22.000 much nothing anybody can do. Especially the cops around here 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:25.640 are fucking awful at their job. Like you know, uh, 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:28.720 the amount of shit that people do on the daily. 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.560 It's just impossible to regulate, especially because so much of 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.120 our like I was saying before, our economy has propped 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:40.000 up so much on a legal drug use. We ye 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:42.560 some of the like In the town that I live 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:44.400 in right now, we have three main restaurants that are 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.520 all run by this one guy, and he was pushing 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:52.920 coke to probably the entire North Country. It's it's it's 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:57.080 been a not very hidden thing, especially. 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:02.800 I mean, your life is a movie, you know. 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:04.640 I probably have the most boring life out of any 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.000 of all these crack heads up here. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.120 Cam are you Okay? 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.440 Oh, I'm fucking wonderful. If it's a breathing thing, it's 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:17.720 because I'm smoking a cigarette. 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.120 Okay, yeah, because you're breathing heavily. And I didn't know 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:22.640 if you were having a heart attack or what was 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.559 going on. But I want to know. I it's been 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:27.920 cool hearing about the don't know a cool, but it's 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:32.880 been it's been interesting hearing about the the lore of 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.640 your town and your family. But like, tell me about you, Like, 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:42.880 so you were what what working washing bitcoin for some 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:47.440 mafia folks, and now you're eighteen nineteen and you're you're 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:51.360 moving out where you like You're You're not still on 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:53.960 the reservation, right, No. 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:59.240 I'm like right on the outskirts. I mean it's right now. 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.320 I'm most just focusing on, you know, working volunteering so 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:06.000 I can become a chef. I'm planning on going to 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:11.319 the culinary and stud of America sometime next year. Yeah, 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.959 it's I'll be one of the one of the first 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:18.920 people maybe other than like two people my family actually 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.800 went to college and completed it because of you know, 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:24.079 all the crazy shit that happened is up here. 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:27.520 And so you're gonna go for culinary and what what's 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.280 your what's your ultimate goal? You want to be a chef? 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:32.160 Yeah? 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.760 Yeah. One of my plans I was making with my 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:38.320 friend is that we were going to run a place 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:41.880 from there's this big highway that goes from like pretty 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:43.640 much the all of the East Coast, you know, through 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.640 Baltimore to all the way up to New York. And 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.680 we wanted to open up some lounges for electric cars 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.040 where you could like, you know, sit down, eat, you know, 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.160 maybe hang out, have a drink, you know, play some 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.120 arcade games, whatever the fuck while you wait for your 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:59.120 car to charge. I've been recently writing a menu for it, 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.800 you know, trademarking some ship. But that's that's pretty much 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:03.520 my goal right now. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.240 And you know, do you have to have an electric 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:07.600 car to go to this restaurant? 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:12.400 Well no, but it certainly is definitely going to be 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.160 built around that. I mean, I hope to have things 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:18.320 be uh, you know, mostly environmentally friendly. You know stuff 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:22.880 that I guess if you your average electric car user, 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:26.760 you know, smug as a motherfucker thinks that they're great 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:30.079 for the environment even though they perpetuate you know, child 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:35.800 slavery and fucking uh mines in Africa sort of thing. 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:36.080 You know. 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.679 It's like all that organic food stuff. Like, hey, I'm 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.320 into it, like like definitely, don't get me wrong in that, Like, 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:44.800 I'm into it, but I think it will be a 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.800 good uh and easy an easy market to corner. 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:51.320 Give me some menu items, are we is this like 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:56.120 a chuck e cheese style chili fries, hamburger shit? Or 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.360 are we going classes? Let's just throw me some menu items. 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:04.240 Well, right now, I'm working on breakfast items. I learned 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:08.320 how to make a really amazing Hollandais sauce. I was 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.600 one of the only people in my culinary class before 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.400 to actually pretty much get it on the first try. 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.080 I had some experience at one of the places up 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:22.120 here I don't really remember the name right now, but 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.080 they were voted by the New York Times of having 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.440 the best Hollandais sauce. But I wanted to play around 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:32.240 with that sum for you know, morning options I wanted 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:36.520 to Right now, I'm more in the stage of not 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:42.080 necessarily the actual menu creation rather than ingredients that would 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.680 work well in this sort of thing. I was thinking 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:48.360 a lot of pescatarian stuff. I mean, I my some 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:53.040 of my family right now, you know, deliver fish some 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:57.120 of the best quality like thirty eight dollars per pounds 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:58.520 to salmon, shit like that. 0:12:59.720 --> 0:12:59.880 You know. 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:04.360 Uh So like I was thinking, you know, mostly uh, 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.520 I guess what whatever would qualify as like hips or food. 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.280 I haven't gotten to that market right now, but uh, 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:13.400 right now I'm working at a co op with like 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.240 a food co op. Uh, and I'll be getting some 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.280 more experience in that sort of market because it is 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:23.320 kind of uh meant for I guess environmentalists and vegans 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:24.720 and vegetarians, et cetera. 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.880 Nice, nice, nice, This is cool. You got a little 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.719 you gotta you got a real life going on. You 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.120 gotta you got a wife too, Tell me about that. 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:37.080 Oh many guys. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:41.400 Uh, this is gonna sound a little bit crazy, and 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:45.640 I and I know it is. But no, I I've 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.000 I've been seeing this girl for a while. She's she's 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.440 been a you know, amazing part of my life. You know, 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.120 we almost had had a child a few months ago, 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.040 but she unfortunately miscarried. 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.679 I'm ah, that's that. 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.160 That was one of the things that I kind of 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.320 took as a sign of, you know, maybe maybe it's 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:08.600 time to wait, no matter how you know depressing it is, 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:10.040 but wait. 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.280 Just real quick as you you breaface this by saying 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.600 you were going to say something crazy. 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.160 Yeah, we have been together for less than a year, 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:25.440 but you know, it's it's it's I I've connected very 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.040 well with her and all of her family, and it's 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:31.000 been the first time I really believe that I've you know, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.680 been a part of a family. I mean I've I've 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:37.800 been pretty much traded and needs as a token piece 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:39.760 for all of my life. And it's and it's nice 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:43.040 to be able to, I guess, settle down and have 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:47.800 a feeling of actual family rather than you know, being 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:52.200 the oh yeah, you're too uh immature or fucking uh 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.880 psychologically mangled in order to to have this child. So 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:00.520 I get passed between parts of the reservation, in parts 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.640 of Italy, parts of Malta, you know, farther up to 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:07.080 the United States. You know, I live with my grandmother 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.480 right now, So you know, it's it's at least unstable, 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:13.560 but I'm kind of it gets it gets lonely. I mean, 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.400 most of the time I'm here by myself, but I 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.920 do plan on moving in with her pretty soon. 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:24.040 Okay, hmm hmm. I mean, look, man, I don't think 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.240 that's that crazy. I think you've definitely been through a 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:31.040 lot of stuff, and this is definitely providing you with 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.880 a lot of the things that you felt as though 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.960 you didn't have when you were growing up, or that 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.240 you are you know, I mean that you just didn't 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:43.680 have in your life at all. But it's funny to 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.960 me because despite everything that happened to you, you know, 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:52.520 or maybe not even just maybe you know, would in 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:57.200 spite be the same as despite I'm gonna say it is. 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:01.480 I'm gonna say it's not crazy. I was just gonna 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.360 say it's interesting because even though all that stuff happened, you, 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:07.240 you know, you're a very you know, just at least 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:10.400 from talking to you, you're a very mature guy, and 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:14.760 you've got a lot of plans for your life. And 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:19.240 you you know, despite all of the universe's attempts to 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.360 fuck you up, you've stayed. It seems, at least to me, 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.640 pretty resilient. So I admire that. 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.080 I mean, yeah, that's that's This is where I guess 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:29.960 the downside's coming is. This is one of the things 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:31.320 that I wanted to talk about, is that you know, 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.440 I feel like, despite I do believe I am a 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.040 creative person, and I mean, I don't like to talk 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.320 myself up. It feels a little bit wrong, but you know, 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:41.880 it's it's been one of those things where you know, 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:43.560 there's so many different things that I want to do, 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.920 but I feel like I don't have the mental tools 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:48.280 to be able to do a lot of the things 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:50.160 that I want to do. And it's it's just been 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:55.680 difficult because I mean, I love music, and I love art, 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.800 and I love cooking. It just feels like, you know, 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.400 whenever I try to do any of these things, it fails. 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:05.439 But I and I have this issue where whenever I 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:09.440 think I'm being smart about something, it's I have this dilemma. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:16.040 It's uh like I am either being stupid, which is 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.000 causing me to feel like I'm being smart about it, 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:22.160 or I'm you know, being smart about it, but I'm 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:27.560 too I guess, uh too stupid. To realize that I'm 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:29.639 that I'm being smart and I I've run to that 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.560 issue a lot, so it ends up in me giving 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:33.840 up on a lot of things that I do. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.240 Damn, I'm gonna be honest. I I you've lost me 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:39.520 on this, but I would love to hear an example 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:40.960 and maybe I'll understand. 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:48.000 Well, like, uh, I, I I have a lot of 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.080 you know, I talk my ass off. If you can't 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:52.280 be if you can't tell already, you know, especially after 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.840 I started doing you know, mushrooms and ship, you know, 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:58.200 I I feel like my my voice has been more 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:01.000 important to me than ever. And it's like I'll tell 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.560 somebody an idea I have and the first thing I 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.600 think is like, wow, this is such a smart idea, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:11.239 and then I go, no, I'm not being smart. This 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.840 is probably something everybody else thought. I'm just being stupid 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:14.880 and that's what's making. 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:16.280 Well, let me tell you, well, I'll tell you this 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:20.240 much about what you just said just now is the 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:23.439 and we're you know, look, I'm about to get all 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:26.440 Tony Robbins on you and shit, But I mean, yeah, 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.440 everyone's had every smart idea, but it's about what you do, right, 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:33.680 So look, I don't know. I don't know how active 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:38.960 your plans are for this Tesla cafe. But it's about 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.399 what you do. And when you're young, I feel like, 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:43.320 I mean, don't go into a crazy amount of debt 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:47.680 or you know, do something like fucking stupid. But when 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:52.440 you're fucking nineteen, you can just you can just try stuff. 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:55.440 You know, you can just go for it, especially right now, 0:18:56.680 --> 0:19:02.199 you know, when when you don't have a child. If 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:04.280 you don't have a child and you don't have I mean, 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.639 because that's a huge responsibility, and you know, nobody else 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:12.000 is really like, uh, you know, depending on you to 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.000 eat and live. You can kinda just take the time 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:18.280 to screw around and see what happens. I mean, that's 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:20.920 what's great about that time in life. And it's cool 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:22.720 that you have all these different ideas because you can 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.960 just say fucking and give one a try. 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:30.240 I just I definitely I worry about becoming my father, 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:32.960 and I will explain that it's like he does this 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.840 thing where he goes on these high rades about like, 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.960 oh yeah, I should pitch this idea to fucking Elon 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:47.440 Musk about you know, mining hydrogen on fucking whatever planet. 0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:50.040 And I'm like and then he sketches out this whole 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.800 fucking thing, you know, does all this crazy shit for 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.720 absolutely no reason, and then just sits on his ass, 0:19:56.760 --> 0:20:01.159 you know, and like he's not a bad dude. 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:01.880 But he. 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:05.960 Is a parasitic type. I will say, you know. 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.760 He are you saying he's he's all talk. 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:10.840 Yeah, that's one. 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:13.040 Of the things that that kind of it makes me mad, 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.360 to be honest. Like it it's like he talks himself 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.800 up and talks up all of his ideas, but you know, 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:24.040 he he never tries, and he puts down everybody in 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.960 his way, like you know, he thinks that he's much 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:31.040 smarter than everybody else. And and it's and it's it's 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.680 sad to watch him, you know, burn through friendships and relationships. 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:36.560 I mean, I don't live with him, you know, we 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:40.480 don't have the greatest of relationships. I mean I've I've 0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:42.800 beat the fuck out of him multiple times. You know, 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:46.760 he's he but all all definitely deserves But you know, 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.400 it's it's just if that gives you any insight into 0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:53.280 the kind of person I guess maybe that I am, 0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:54.280 or that he. 0:20:54.200 --> 0:21:01.200 Is, well camp, I mean, you have a self awareness 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:05.480 about this stuff. You have a model that you do 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:10.160 not wish to follow, and so I think that's gonna 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:11.879 be a helpful thing for you. I don't know what 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:13.639 your dad's dad was like or if you thought the 0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:21.200 same thing about him, but mhmm, you know, yeah, man, 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:23.960 I just feel like if you have don't don't don't 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:25.959 have so many ideas that you don't end up actually 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.960 doing anything. You know. I think that. But you're a 0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:31.680 you've been through a lot, You're you're seemed to be 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:36.240 an enterprising young guy, and so I would take whatever 0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:41.320 energy you have right now and instead of uh, you know, 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.639 shutting your eyes and thinking as many fucking thoughts as 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:46.879 you can possibly think and as many ideas about everything 0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:50.040 as you possibly can, just go and try some stuff. 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:59.480 Yeah, I I I it's it's it's definitely difficult, especially 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:02.560 not having a uh, you know, a mode of transport 0:22:02.720 --> 0:22:03.520 or any capital. 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:09.280 Like the jobs that I do work are strictly volunteer work. 0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:12.840 Uh Okay, So then why don't you want do you? 0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:16.440 Why don't you focus on whatever idea because look, I'm 0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:18.439 sure you have a billion ideas of things that you 0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:20.560 want to do. You talk about music, You talked about 0:22:21.080 --> 0:22:23.879 what whatnot. You're probably a little bit you Yeah, you know, 0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:31.760 opening up a restaurant requires more capital than than you 0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:34.199 currently have, which is fine. But I'm sure you have 0:22:34.240 --> 0:22:37.160 plenty of ideas that don't require any capital or any 0:22:37.400 --> 0:22:38.960 or or you know, don't require you to leave your 0:22:39.000 --> 0:22:40.800 fucking computer. So why don't you start with those? 0:22:42.000 --> 0:22:45.600 Yeah, I I I think that it would be in 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:49.399 my best interest. It's just you know, uh, I'm one 0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:53.320 of the people who who gets demotivated when I, uh 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:58.560 don't do something correct or feel like I'm struggling learning something, 0:22:58.600 --> 0:22:59.840 and that's that's one of the things. 0:23:00.800 --> 0:23:02.960 But you just you're not You're not like a Zen 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:08.640 mastered got You're like nineteen. Just just fuck around. Just 0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:11.480 just fu I swear to God, just like you can 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:15.440 get so wrapped up in your own head about perfection 0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:20.240