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Speaker 1: All right, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. It could be yours.

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Speaker 1: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 1: got it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.

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Speaker 1: She acts like a bigger subject hicks like a bitter

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Speaker 1: old biddy. Great day in radio. Sure you see it. No,

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Speaker 1: it wouldn't No, it wouldn't have Junior. You know, my

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Speaker 1: people will be talking, we'll be trending. All right, here

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Speaker 1: we go. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty year old

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Speaker 1: married man, and my wife and I have been married

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Speaker 1: for eleven years. When we got married, I was working

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Speaker 1: on my doctorate degree and I worked full time and

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Speaker 1: was struggled to take care of her and our newborn child.

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Speaker 1: She decided to start school herself after having our second child.

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Speaker 1: She got her master's degree twenty nineteen, and I expected

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Speaker 1: her to apply for a job, but instead she decided

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Speaker 1: to get her doctorate degree. This led to more financial

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Speaker 1: stress in our family. The little I made barely covered rent,

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Speaker 1: and the financial strain was great. I had to take

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Speaker 1: side hustles just to make ends meet, and I think

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Speaker 1: this led to a change and attitude for both of us,

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Speaker 1: and we began snapping at each other over the tiniest things.

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Speaker 1: I began to think of what to do to improve

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Speaker 1: our situation, and finally, by the grace of God, I

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Speaker 1: got a great job. I figured it would improve our marriage,

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Speaker 1: but things got worse. She is still snappy, complains all

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Speaker 1: the time, nags me about everything, and she's always tired

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Speaker 1: from school. She hardly takes care of herself, and when

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Speaker 1: I complain, all she says is who am I trying

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Speaker 1: to impress. Sex between us has dwindled to once or

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Speaker 1: twice a month, and even then it's a chore. She

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Speaker 1: only allows me to do a quickie and she starts

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Speaker 1: complaining if I take too long to finish. We hardly

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Speaker 1: talk as husband and wife, and I started sleeping in

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Speaker 1: another room anytime she's not home and I'm with our kids.

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Speaker 1: We're all in a good mood. Soon as she walks

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Speaker 1: in the atmosphere is tense. She acts like an old, bitter,

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Speaker 1: elderly woman, but she is only forty one. Is this

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Speaker 1: how ladies act after a while in marriage or is

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Speaker 1: this a special case? How can I get her back

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Speaker 1: to how she was? Well? I mean, you know, first

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Speaker 1: of all, you guys can talk more as husband and wife,

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Speaker 1: you know, And you got to consider this huge load

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Speaker 1: that she's taken on. She's studying for her doctorate degree,

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Speaker 1: she just had a baby. You know, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of things going on here. And I'm gonna tell you,

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Speaker 1: I honestly think she needs to see a doctor immediately.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she might be suffering from postpartum depression. It's

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Speaker 1: been a while, but if maybe if it's untreated. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's still some residual effects here from having this baby.

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Speaker 1: It happens a lot in women, many women after having

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Speaker 1: a baby. And again, she's got a lot on her

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Speaker 1: plate with school, the financial stress. You know, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: just affect you, it affects her in the whole family.

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Speaker 1: Even though you say you have a great job now,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem that easy for her to snap back.

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Speaker 1: I'm asking you to be a little more patient with her.

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Speaker 1: And if you guys can afford it. Maybe you can

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Speaker 1: get someone to help her with the kids and around

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Speaker 1: the house for a couple of days a week. You know,

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Speaker 1: maybe send her to the spot to see if she

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Speaker 1: can invite her girlfriends over or ask them to take

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Speaker 1: her out for a girl's night out. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: she needs to get out of the house, do something

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Speaker 1: different than what she's been doing. It seems like, you know,

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Speaker 1: working on her on her degree is really really hard

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Speaker 1: on her. Please be more supportive as a husband. But

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Speaker 1: but by all means, make sure she she sees a doctor. Steve, supportive,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know how it can be any

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Speaker 1: more supportive. I really don't great answer, though, Sherl. I

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Speaker 1: liked your answer, Uh, to protect this woman, But in

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Speaker 1: this case right here, I don't see how she needs protecting.

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Speaker 1: I think this woman has to step up and and

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Speaker 1: and get herself together and make some changes. Now, if

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Speaker 1: it's medical, then, like Shirley said, it could be this

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Speaker 1: postmonem But the baby eleven years ago. Now, no, she

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Speaker 1: had another one, and you're right, but she figged old

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Speaker 1: man man, My wife and I been married eleven years.

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Speaker 1: We got married. I was working on my doctor degree

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Speaker 1: I worked full time, struggling to take care of her

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Speaker 1: and our newborn child. She decided to start school herself

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Speaker 1: after having our second child. She got a master's degree

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Speaker 1: in twenty nineteen, that's two years ago. I expected her

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Speaker 1: to apply for a job, but instead she decided to

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Speaker 1: get a doctorate degree. Now, obviously this is too much

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Speaker 1: the children and the doctor to be. This led to

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Speaker 1: more financial stretch in the family. The little I may

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Speaker 1: barely covered rend the financial strain was great, which is

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Speaker 1: always a big cause in marriage is struggling. I took

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Speaker 1: sideline hustles to make ends meet, and I think this

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Speaker 1: led to a change in attitude for both of us.

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Speaker 1: We both again snapping over the tiniest things. I began

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Speaker 1: to think of what to do to improve our situation,

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Speaker 1: and finally, grace to God, I got a great job.

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Speaker 1: I figured it would improve our marriage, but thanks got worse.

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Speaker 1: She still snapping, complaints all the time, nags me about

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Speaker 1: everything as she's tired from school. She wanted to go

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Speaker 1: to school. She's snapping. She forty one to dude doing

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Speaker 1: all he can do. Now, let me tell you something, sir,

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Speaker 1: you can't make another person happy. Bishop Jakes told me

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Speaker 1: this one time, he says, Steve, you can't make another

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Speaker 1: person happy, nor is it your job. And if you

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Speaker 1: take on that job to make another person happy, you

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Speaker 1: have taken on a daunting, daunting responsibility because you can't

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Speaker 1: do it. She's not a happy person right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hang on, Steve. All right, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters subject she acts like a bitter old biddy.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. Watch curringe when I say this,

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Speaker 1: she acts like a bitter old BITTI figure year old

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Speaker 1: man married and got a wife eleven years. You was

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Speaker 1: working on your doctor degree, and you work full time,

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Speaker 1: and y'all were struggling taking care of her and newborn.

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Speaker 1: She decided to start school herself after having a second child.

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Speaker 1: She got a master's degree in two thousand nine. I

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Speaker 1: expect her to apply for a job, but instead she

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Speaker 1: decided to get a doctor degree. So y'all like degrees,

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Speaker 1: if y'all like making money as much as y'all like

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Speaker 1: you're having degrees, y'all might be on to something, but

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Speaker 1: we'll just leave that loan. That ain't my business. You know,

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Speaker 1: some people like degrees, so go ahead and get you

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Speaker 1: another one. Somebody once told me though, a very very

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Speaker 1: rich man was talking to a group of college students

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Speaker 1: at a big event, like was some type of conference

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Speaker 1: going on, and this guy was standing up to he

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Speaker 1: was talking about his degrees and how much he made

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Speaker 1: a year, and that he was going to go back

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Speaker 1: to get another because he wants to make a little

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Speaker 1: bit more year and thought necessary he'd get a third.

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Speaker 1: He said, sonly, may ask you something. If you have

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Speaker 1: a degree that ain't working for you, why would you

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Speaker 1: go get another one of them? And I kind of

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Speaker 1: I just thought about that, so I'm just I'm just

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Speaker 1: saying that because this might be that problem with this letter.

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Speaker 1: So now you all barely got you this. So finally,

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Speaker 1: by the grace of God, you got a good job

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Speaker 1: and you thought it would smooth everything out when it didn't.

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Speaker 1: She's still snap it complains all the time, nags me

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Speaker 1: about everything, and she's tied from school. She says she

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Speaker 1: wanted to go to school sometimes, man, you make decisions. Man,

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Speaker 1: I hate to get spiritual on you, but I gotta

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Speaker 1: tell you this because I've done this myself several hundred times.

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Speaker 1: You make a decision without asking God anything about it.

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Speaker 1: You just you could go through your plan. And now

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Speaker 1: you're miserable because that might not have been the best

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Speaker 1: way to do it. Just because you make a decision,

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Speaker 1: don't and you want to do it, don't make it

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Speaker 1: the right decision for you. So now you're miserable. And

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Speaker 1: now you're making the man miserable. Nags you about everything.

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Speaker 1: She's already tired for school, and now hit the part

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Speaker 1: she hardly takes care of herself. Here we go, Now

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Speaker 1: we're in a dangerous party that she don't take care

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Speaker 1: of herself. And then when I complain about that, all

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Speaker 1: she says is, who am I trying to impress? Hell?

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Speaker 1: How about me? But see this woman is tripping a

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Speaker 1: little bit because it's just about her. Now, I went

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Speaker 1: back school to get me a doctorate degree. I'm tired,

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Speaker 1: I ain't fit to do nothing else. Who am I

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Speaker 1: trying to impress me? Your husband? She did? She didn't,

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Speaker 1: She didn't forgot the same thing it took to get

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Speaker 1: your babyhook. It's gonna take the same thing, Keith. Sex

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Speaker 1: between us has dwindled down to once or twice a month. See,

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Speaker 1: we're in trouble now. Now you ain't taking care of yourself,

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Speaker 1: and now we're having sex once or twice a month.

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Speaker 1: He fitted problem. I probably don't anybody finny do this

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Speaker 1: one twice. Okay, I'm just saying. I'm just I'm hurt

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Speaker 1: and everything hurt. Everybody know that this is time to

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Speaker 1: change your tone because things just feeling to change. Anybody

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Speaker 1: feeling sit up here and do this when you watch

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Speaker 1: it twice a while that he didn't got the good job.

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Speaker 1: Somebody down there walking past him looking just like he liked.

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Speaker 1: She's taking care of herself and everything. Now, I'm all

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Speaker 1: for the institution to manage. I try to make it work.

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Speaker 1: But now even when you make love, it's a chore.

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Speaker 1: She only allows me to do it quickie, and she

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Speaker 1: starts complaining if I take long to finish. We hardly talk.

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Speaker 1: His husband and wife and I started sleeping in another

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Speaker 1: room anytime she got home, and I'm with our kids.

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Speaker 1: We all in a good move. Soon as she walk

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Speaker 1: in atmosphere is tip that reminds me of a person

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Speaker 1: we used to know. It's called black Cloud. See black

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Speaker 1: you ain't got some people walking in the room or

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Speaker 1: just black cloude And it's just people walking room, just

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Speaker 1: dog black Cloud. Just hear the ass come damn thunderstorm

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Speaker 1: walking in the room. Weather change. She acts like an

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Speaker 1: old bitty elderly woman, but she's only forty one. Is

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Speaker 1: this how ladies act after a wild in marriage? No,

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Speaker 1: by any means, nowhere near all of them. But you

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Speaker 1: got the one that do though. Is this a special case? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this kind of special. Now, changes happen in all marriages,

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Speaker 1: and you got to make adjustments, but she ain't making them.

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Speaker 1: So now how can I get her back to how

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Speaker 1: she was? I don't know. I don't know that. Surely

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Speaker 1: said get us some medical help, but I think it's

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Speaker 1: a mental thing. If you tied all the time, that

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Speaker 1: ain't medical, you're a bit off more than you choose.

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Speaker 1: You try to get a degree in something. Now you're

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Speaker 1: on a doctor. You know, y'all gonna just keep going

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Speaker 1: to school. I mean you can do that. Education is greater.

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Speaker 1: I think smart is a gift, but sign sometimes you're

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Speaker 1: doing more more than you can handle. And she'd a

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Speaker 1: been awful lot. We having sex once twice a month.

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Speaker 1: You nagging and complain about everything. You didn't let yourself go,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't taking care of yourself. Me and the

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Speaker 1: kids at home having a good time. You walk in

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Speaker 1: and a change because you evil. I'm not staying with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not doing that. I'm not staying No,

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Speaker 1: if you evil, I'm not staying with you. There's a

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Speaker 1: scripture that says it is better to live on the

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Speaker 1: corner of a rooftop than inside with a quarrelsome woman.

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Speaker 1: That's in Proverbs. I'm not fit to do that, and

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Speaker 1: you and you can't ask a man to do that. Ladies,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm dead. Once I feel like I'm dead,

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Speaker 1: I gets optimilation. Stuberry, that's what that part means, to death,

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Speaker 1: do us part and I feel dead? Time for us

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Speaker 1: to part at Steve Harvey them on Instagram and Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand, coming up

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Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour Sports Talk with Junior.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.