1
00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,440
Speaker 1: Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,920
Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,

3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,800
Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

4
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,360
Speaker 1: often out of her ass. His podcast should not be

5
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,920
Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. It should be taking with a huge

6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,960
Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes.

7
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:25,080
Speaker 2: Only these you need help, You're the problems. Come on,

8
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:36,840
Speaker 2: come do gollam, take a pill. I think you're insane.

9
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:45,680
Speaker 2: Do what I said, dumb ass. Listen to me, you

10
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:53,519
Speaker 2: god that song, It's the essence of my being. I

11
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,600
Speaker 2: am sweet and lovely Lisa, and welcome to Shrink This

12
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 2: with Lisa Lampinelli, the podcast that teaches you how to live.

13
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,759
Speaker 2: But absolutely you should not take any of the advice.

14
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,360
Speaker 2: You should ignore us. But wait, I'm going to start over.

15
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to start over. I think you should listen

16
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,120
Speaker 2: to us. I'm not starting over because I'm not afraid

17
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,600
Speaker 2: to have been vulnerable and human. Unlike you people, I

18
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,000
Speaker 2: put myself out there. I make the mistakes on air,

19
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,360
Speaker 2: and damn it, we're keeping them on. So Celia, you

20
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,839
Speaker 2: control freak people. Pleasing twat, don't you edit a thing?

21
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,920
Speaker 2: It's Lisa Warts and All on Shrink This with Lisa Leipadelli,

22
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,880
Speaker 2: the podcast where we give you advice and I think

23
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,679
Speaker 2: you should listen, and I'm here with my brilliant sidekick,

24
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:51,520
Speaker 2: Nick Scubilety. Have to mood like I am.

25
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a little I drove in today, so it

26
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,160
Speaker 3: required more focus.

27
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

28
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I may never do it again. It

29
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:02,040
Speaker 3: was nice today. Anybody feel listen.

30
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 2: To you Boom podcast over and over and here how

31
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 2: great you are, which is not what I did. I

32
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 2: made the mistake on the drive of listening. You have

33
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 2: to be careful of what you intake. Correct and guess

34
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,600
Speaker 2: what I in took today on my drive. No, never

35
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,640
Speaker 2: Jackerys and they're not a sponsor. Fuck them because they

36
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 2: never sent me anything free. Yeah, but I made the

37
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 2: mistake of listening to a two parter on a cult escapee. Now,

38
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,480
Speaker 2: this is a depressing subject, so you gotta I gotta

39
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 2: be careful and monitor what I'm listening to. Did you did?

40
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 2: Did you listen to something harrowing? Also?

41
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 3: No, just music at a low volume.

42
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:41,760
Speaker 2: See that's better.

43
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,480
Speaker 3: What was the cult?

44
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,920
Speaker 2: Oh, fundamentalist Christian cult? And it was such a great podcast,

45
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,720
Speaker 2: And of course after episode one, I noticed my neck

46
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,520
Speaker 2: really hurts and my back hurts, and I'm tense and

47
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,880
Speaker 2: I just can't wait for I'm like, I'm not listening

48
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,600
Speaker 2: to episode two, but you have to because episode two

49
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,280
Speaker 2: is the one where she escapes, because I want to

50
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,560
Speaker 2: have some hope that she escaped. And then she escaped

51
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,959
Speaker 2: and it wasn't worth the payoff?

52
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,119
Speaker 3: Why not? Wasn't good?

53
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,519
Speaker 2: I mean it was great, but it still made me depressed.

54
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, how you get involved with that shit

55
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,360
Speaker 2: in the first place. Nobody's trying to put me in

56
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 2: a call. You know what I'm saying.

57
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,679
Speaker 3: I feel you. She escaped and now she works here.

58
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,560
Speaker 3: What's up Celia?

59
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 2: Oh she's our former trad wife, Celia Seljia. I could

60
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,040
Speaker 2: I just call you Selja to give it a Hispanic flare? Absolutely?

61
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,560
Speaker 2: I enjoy that. Yes, you know that's that's actually a

62
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,280
Speaker 2: Hispanic name. Well listen, don't be racist, all right, stop

63
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,040
Speaker 2: being racist.

64
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,120
Speaker 3: She escapes the racist I know well.

65
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,600
Speaker 2: That that happens. That's the trajectory of all of them.

66
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 2: But I love how our podcast starts off as being

67
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,360
Speaker 2: one thing and now it's not about anything. I decided

68
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,400
Speaker 2: I'm really exhausted after one episode. I'm quitting. It's It's

69
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,960
Speaker 2: it people. I hope you enjoy our two parter.

70
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,960
Speaker 3: About escaping I escaped.

71
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,120
Speaker 2: The cult of Elvis Durande I did. He said to me,

72
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,840
Speaker 2: do a podcast, and I said, damn you, I'll do two,

73
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,599
Speaker 2: two episodes that is, but I'm bumped. No sound effects, guy,

74
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 2: I don't get a sound effects guy effects.

75
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:26,440
Speaker 3: No hit a cool button.

76
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,680
Speaker 2: I wish I could at least the penis sound. I

77
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,640
Speaker 2: want to hear that week. Please. Of course, I'll get

78
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,279
Speaker 2: a button just for it, like a little splurt, even

79
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,640
Speaker 2: though I haven't heard a splurt in a while. Thank god,

80
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:47,640
Speaker 2: I right now listen. Speaking of not splurting. That's our

81
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,000
Speaker 2: subject today because we got a lot of letters about

82
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 2: people who well, I will actually preface this with a

83
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,440
Speaker 2: story of my own me personally, I feel like I

84
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 2: have a strong belief that the worst thing that happened

85
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,680
Speaker 2: in my life was I got the flu. But not

86
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,120
Speaker 2: for the reasons you will think it is. Once you

87
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:13,040
Speaker 2: get the flu, oh my god, you get to have

88
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:17,840
Speaker 2: a loane time. It's like forced by yourself. You're with

89
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,200
Speaker 2: your three little dogs, You're on a couch, you're laying

90
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,360
Speaker 2: a certain way, and yes you're shitting and throwing up,

91
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,760
Speaker 2: but it's a small price to pay for the fact

92
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,440
Speaker 2: that you can't lift your head up. No one will

93
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,520
Speaker 2: call you, you don't have to respond to anything. So

94
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,520
Speaker 2: I had such forced alone time for like a week

95
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,360
Speaker 2: that I was like, oh shit, now I want it

96
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 2: all the time. I'm fantasizing about the flu. So that's

97
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,400
Speaker 2: not good. It just shows me I shouldn't have to

98
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,960
Speaker 2: get sick, like literally sick and sick and tired of

99
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,279
Speaker 2: being sick and tired got it like we It just

100
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,359
Speaker 2: shouldn't have to be sick to take the time to

101
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,120
Speaker 2: not respond to anybody and to just be by myself.

102
00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,520
Speaker 2: Can you relate to this?

103
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,679
Speaker 3: In September I got COVID.

104
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:02,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.

105
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,720
Speaker 3: Home for five days.

106
00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:04,839
Speaker 2: Best days of your life.

107
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,160
Speaker 3: And by the once like the fever and the shaking

108
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:07,920
Speaker 3: and the chills went.

109
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

110
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,640
Speaker 3: I was like looking like lightly looking at work from

111
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,520
Speaker 3: home jobs. I was like, this is realy nice.

112
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 2: It's hard though, because you're a personal trainer who could

113
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,280
Speaker 2: be found at by the way Nick scopes what is it?

114
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:23,800
Speaker 2: And what on?

115
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,160
Speaker 3: All on all the plant and all.

116
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:37,320
Speaker 2: The stupid things they're also yeah, farmers only tradwives, you

117
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 2: could be a tradi dot com. Yeah, brandos only do

118
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,800
Speaker 2: But like, isn't it just the best to not have

119
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,600
Speaker 2: to deal with? But also it's because do you think

120
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,159
Speaker 2: it's because we frontload our lives so much, with so

121
00:06:53,279 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 2: much to do, that we drive ourselves to need alone time.

122
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,479
Speaker 2: When we all wes should do is admit we need

123
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 2: it and then we don't have to get sick to

124
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:10,280
Speaker 2: take it. It's ridiculous. It's like, what's the point. What's

125
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,640
Speaker 2: the point of this driving and striving and doing more.

126
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 2: I wrote an entire play last year about doing less

127
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 2: and I don't. And by the way, writing a play

128
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 2: is a lot of work, so you do more inherently.

129
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,440
Speaker 2: But once I'm done with this play, I'll do less.

130
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,720
Speaker 2: And it's like, wow, what was the lesson in writing

131
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 2: seventy five pages of do less? It was that I'm

132
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,120
Speaker 2: still doing too much. And it's not by anybody else's

133
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,080
Speaker 2: else's standards. It's not as much as a mom with kids,

134
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 2: or as much as a guy who's running around and

135
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,520
Speaker 2: like dating or doing this and has a job. I

136
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,680
Speaker 2: just do too much for me. I think I just

137
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,480
Speaker 2: don't admit that I need just shutting off. Sometimes.

138
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,600
Speaker 3: I agree. I you know, I go back and forth

139
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,920
Speaker 3: on this subject all the time because I do love

140
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 3: my alone time. But at the same time, when I

141
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,640
Speaker 3: do take off from work or I have time to myself,

142
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,200
Speaker 3: it's cool for like an hour or two, or like

143
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,200
Speaker 3: a day or two, and then I start to get

144
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,800
Speaker 3: like I gotta do something, yeah, or then even work.

145
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,760
Speaker 3: I know, for me, like this week was a really

146
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,520
Speaker 3: busy week for me, I'll get too comfortable, yes, and

147
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 3: like I almost like I got to rush through everything

148
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,160
Speaker 3: to get to my downtime. It's like I struggle with

149
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,720
Speaker 3: this a lot. I go back and forth, and I

150
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,960
Speaker 3: really don't know what the answer is.

151
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,120
Speaker 2: I don't know the answer because you would think by

152
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,040
Speaker 2: my age sixty three, you know that they go proud

153
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,520
Speaker 2: senior citizen. I'm a proud and I'm not a silver

154
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 2: single who let their hair go gray. Shut up fucking

155
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:45,080
Speaker 2: Collie anyway. I yeah, It's like I don't want to

156
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,240
Speaker 2: tip into I heard a quote I'm too old to

157
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,880
Speaker 2: act old. It's like I don't want to tip into

158
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,840
Speaker 2: the old lady who never leaves the shoe. You never

159
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,319
Speaker 2: leave the house, because like old ladies when they're eighty,

160
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,040
Speaker 2: there's a lot of them are super happy to just

161
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,160
Speaker 2: stay home and they'll go to like church and bingo.

162
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 2: And that was my mom. She was like, twice out

163
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,680
Speaker 2: of the house a week is enough, and like, yes,

164
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,440
Speaker 2: does she get to be the judge of what's enough

165
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,880
Speaker 2: for her? Yes? But to me that feels scary. The

166
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,760
Speaker 2: idea of not having something to do at least five

167
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,120
Speaker 2: six days a week makes me feel like I'm going

168
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,000
Speaker 2: to tip into the other extreme. So I think there's

169
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,960
Speaker 2: like the two extremes. There's like the I need all

170
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,760
Speaker 2: the alone time and I'm sorry, but guess I have

171
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,080
Speaker 2: no patience for and I don't care if anybody even

172
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,800
Speaker 2: hates me after this. The I am socially anxious. I

173
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 2: don't like going to parties. Just ask me to go

174
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,160
Speaker 2: somewhere and I'll just say no. It's like, well, then

175
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:48,480
Speaker 2: I'm glad you have no friends dialogue exactly. There's that extreme,

176
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 2: and then there's the oh my god, I just have

177
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,840
Speaker 2: to do and do and do and do. So I

178
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 2: don't know where the balance is only a parent when

179
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,240
Speaker 2: like we're sick, like when we go, oh, I've finally

180
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,560
Speaker 2: balance it out. I had three days at home to myself,

181
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,280
Speaker 2: and now I get to go three days out.

182
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, now you don't have it. It's when you don't

183
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,160
Speaker 3: have a choice. Yeah, I have to make the decision.

184
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,880
Speaker 3: Because every time I've like been chilling and I've chose

185
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,160
Speaker 3: to like go somewhere and do something, it's never been bad.

186
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,600
Speaker 3: It's always been like, oh that was fun.

187
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,320
Speaker 2: But also, you and I have this thing where we're

188
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,440
Speaker 2: high energy. So we'll never go to a place and

189
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,800
Speaker 2: be half asked about it. We're not I wouldn't say

190
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,440
Speaker 2: life of the party all the time, but we'll bring

191
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,240
Speaker 2: it fully. We won't go and go look, I'm just

192
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,520
Speaker 2: gonna like be mellow at your house, Like if I

193
00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,120
Speaker 2: don't bring the right energy, like I'm sorry, No, we

194
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 2: just go and we go full out.

195
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I was just gonna say that. It's

196
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,960
Speaker 3: trying to like we feel like we have to be on.

197
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,400
Speaker 3: I know you can't just go and show up and

198
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,040
Speaker 3: being because I've gone places a little MOPy or tired and.

199
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,439
Speaker 2: They're like, what's wrong? You're usually okay, I'm Nick you

200
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,280
Speaker 2: doing okay?

201
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:51,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

202
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,000
Speaker 2: Nick? I noticed something. Is it the fact that you

203
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:54,880
Speaker 2: own have a girlfriend?

204
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,199
Speaker 3: Maybe is it the.

205
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,160
Speaker 2: Way game like they have to then plod and asked

206
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,760
Speaker 2: you what's wrong? Like it's like, dude, I just was

207
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:06,360
Speaker 2: like being me. Do you think actually we're even supposed

208
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,480
Speaker 2: to be up up up all the time when we're

209
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:12,680
Speaker 2: out in these situations bringing ourselves as our true self

210
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,679
Speaker 2: might look different than we think.

211
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I mean do you think that like people?

212
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 3: Because well, especially for you, like I know for me

213
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,960
Speaker 3: and my friend group, but because you are who you are,

214
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,800
Speaker 3: I think people expect you to be a certain way

215
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 3: when they meet you, and they're probably like if you

216
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,000
Speaker 3: have any bit of lull that like you want to

217
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 3: be on and good to go, and you always show

218
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,880
Speaker 3: up to shit, you don't. I never cancel, you never can.

219
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 2: I can't do two things. And it was because it

220
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,240
Speaker 2: was way back a few months ago over the holidays,

221
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,840
Speaker 2: because of again being sick. Yeah, and when my dog Parker,

222
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,760
Speaker 2: like I mean it was it's not a blessing, but

223
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 2: like I went home one day and like his two

224
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:53,200
Speaker 2: back legs were like faced in like he's in a pla.

225
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,719
Speaker 2: He was in position five ballet because he had like

226
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,880
Speaker 2: a disc problem, And I was like, oh my god,

227
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,319
Speaker 2: I'm so sad for the dog. And thank god it

228
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,679
Speaker 2: got fixed. I'm like, oh my god, I get to

229
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,640
Speaker 2: stay home with him. If you it is a true

230
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,400
Speaker 2: friend who will say yes, stay home with your dog.

231
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,760
Speaker 2: And if they don't say yes, stay home with your dog,

232
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 2: then that's not a good friend. You just cross them

233
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:20,040
Speaker 2: off the list. Ye. So yeah that it's like those

234
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,319
Speaker 2: things converge and you're all of a sudden like, oh,

235
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,040
Speaker 2: I'm allowed to stay home. Yeah I'm not bring that.

236
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 2: But but other than that, I rarely cancel.

237
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,920
Speaker 3: That's never. But I even want to, like I find

238
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,280
Speaker 3: this for our like our diner nights when it's like me,

239
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 3: you and the other two comics.

240
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, we go together once a week and like talk.

241
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 2: We ostensibly started this as a writing group, but none

242
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,000
Speaker 2: of us wants to write anything. Somebody's that we sit

243
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,600
Speaker 2: around and make fun of the two Greek owners exactly.

244
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,880
Speaker 3: And I always want but like for those times like

245
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,640
Speaker 3: it should be chill, right, just and it is chill.

246
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 3: It's so fun. I enjoy it. But I'm always like, oh,

247
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,000
Speaker 3: maybe I should like take a nap before tonight, like

248
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,760
Speaker 3: just to be ready, like because bring it, yeah, just

249
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 3: to bring it in and have fun and be good

250
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 3: to go, like I always like make sure, like I

251
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,119
Speaker 3: like to, I get out of work early on Tuesdays,

252
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,079
Speaker 3: go home, I chill, I have like dinner a little bit,

253
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,480
Speaker 3: like a light dinner, and then I go to the diet,

254
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 3: like want to have a nice downtime, set.

255
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,199
Speaker 2: It up nice.

256
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, before I hate that, I'm like that, but I'm like, oh,

257
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 3: I have a little downtime and then go it's weird.

258
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,360
Speaker 2: Our other two guys, Our other two friends, Bo and Andrew.

259
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,000
Speaker 2: It is never questioned if either one of them are

260
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 2: in like sort of a down mood or more mellow

261
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,280
Speaker 2: or whatever, because they're just allowed to be full human beings.

262
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,520
Speaker 2: But I think me and you, it's like we have

263
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,480
Speaker 2: to bring it. Yeah, And I don't like that about myself.

264
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:34,280
Speaker 2: I love I would love to be like boring. Yeah,

265
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,560
Speaker 2: And you know, people listening to this podcast are like,

266
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,600
Speaker 2: you are, don't worry about it, no, But I like

267
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,400
Speaker 2: want to be just with family. It's tough too, because

268
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,600
Speaker 2: I have a family. One half of my family is

269
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 2: super heightened. My sister's side of the family. They bring

270
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,560
Speaker 2: it there loud, They're always playing games, which I love

271
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 2: all that stuff. So I feel this pressure that I'm

272
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,640
Speaker 2: going to be the boring one, and they're going to

273
00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 2: be like, are you okay? My sister? I love her,

274
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,800
Speaker 2: her biggest heart in the world, but the two things

275
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,320
Speaker 2: she says it drives me nuts. Are are you okay?

276
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,640
Speaker 2: And when I tell her something good happens, she goes,

277
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:13,439
Speaker 2: good for you. I'm like, I'm not the special needs

278
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 2: bagger at the grocery store, but a good for you

279
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 2: sounds very sort of insulting, but I don't I know

280
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 2: she doesn't mean it that way. So but around family,

281
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,880
Speaker 2: I feel like, oh, I have to present well. It's

282
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:32,160
Speaker 2: so hard to even say I'm okay and have them

283
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 2: sort of accept it. So that's why I think the

284
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 2: alone time for us is like, oh wow, we get

285
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,280
Speaker 2: to not pretend anything.

286
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

287
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 2: But the the other side of it is if I

288
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,520
Speaker 2: go two days and realize I have not spoken words

289
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,000
Speaker 2: out loud, like I've done that where I'm like, oh

290
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 2: my god, all I've said all day is who's a

291
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:59,600
Speaker 2: good boy? No, like, who's a good boy, who's a

292
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:05,000
Speaker 2: good girl. We're all trees to get my dog to

293
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 2: Parker to come to me. I have to trees, like,

294
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 2: you can't even say it normalous They respond to like

295
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 2: voice sounds, I guess, and I'm like, I have not

296
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 2: spoken a word. And I also like, just real quick, like,

297
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,800
Speaker 2: are you I think we're both considered extroverts.

298
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 3: Correct, I guess, I.

299
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 2: Know, but I think we have a little, you know,

300
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 2: introverted need. Also like, there's also a little need for

301
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,800
Speaker 2: introversion sometimes, and we shouldn't drive ourselves into being ill

302
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,960
Speaker 2: to get this job done. But yet, what's the fear

303
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 2: by the way of actually, okay, I'm feeling totally well,

304
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,040
Speaker 2: I'm one hundred percent like right now we're taping the podcast.

305
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,440
Speaker 2: I was in a terrible mood because of my back, neck,

306
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,720
Speaker 2: thighs and other issues. But I said, you know what

307
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,200
Speaker 2: I got the podcast gets me in a good mood,

308
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,240
Speaker 2: which proves extraversion. I love that the energy is up.

309
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:05,480
Speaker 2: But the idea of going home after and like just

310
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:11,240
Speaker 2: canceling the dinner, oh god, it's even uncomfortable, say, canceling

311
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,880
Speaker 2: on a dinner. I can't say. Two good friends, I

312
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 2: love them, I want one of them's leaving for Florida

313
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,120
Speaker 2: for like months to do a show, so I'm like, oh, yeah,

314
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 2: my last chance to see him before he goes the

315
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 2: idea of canceling it makes me so uncomfortable because the

316
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 2: story I tell in my head is I'm Lisa. I

317
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 2: don't cancel, but maybe I'm Lisa who sometimes has to cancel.

318
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 2: Like we construct these artificial identities for ourselves. Oh, I'm

319
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 2: the person who always dot dot dot. I'm the person

320
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: who always you know what, I shed one of those.

321
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm the person who quote always brings something when I'm

322
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 2: invited to a party. Fuck you. You come to my

323
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,320
Speaker 2: house a lot and you never bring anything. I'm not

324
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 2: bringing anything to your house, so I have to deconstruct.

325
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,600
Speaker 2: I'm always the person who shows up, maybe to my

326
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 2: detriment if I'm tired. So are you a canceler? Ever?

327
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 2: Not really? I know you a lot more.

328
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,719
Speaker 3: This is a small percentage, but I will tell you this.

329
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,199
Speaker 3: I have a weird if I do cancel something, I

330
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 3: have this weird like almost like fomo.

331
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 2: Oh see you get that.

332
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 3: Not not fomo, but I'm like the only thing that

333
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:27,119
Speaker 3: I've canceled the most, probably honestly, is dates. Sometimes we're like,

334
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's Friday night, or you said yes to

335
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 3: something earlier in the week and it's for me Friday night.

336
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 3: When it's Friday night and work's done. Yeah, I don't

337
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 3: know what it is, but my body's like, it's.

338
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 2: Beautiful to stay on a Friday. It's doesn't feel like

339
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,359
Speaker 2: you're cheating life. Also, I would say on behalf of

340
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 2: every girl you canceled on for dates, you've done a service.

341
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,800
Speaker 2: They are thanking you. They've saved themselves from getting not

342
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 2: up from by some wap guinea bastard who won't watch

343
00:17:54,760 --> 00:18:01,040
Speaker 2: any shows. Others say say, I, no, don't edit that.

344
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 2: I'm perfection.

345
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,719
Speaker 3: I don't know about you, but there's times where I

346
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 3: look forward to a day where I don't have anything.

347
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 3: Love it right. The morning comes, it's slow, it's nice

348
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 3: the first few hours. Then I feel like I gotta

349
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,160
Speaker 3: do something m and then I do something for a while,

350
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 3: and then the long story of it is it takes

351
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 3: me a while to settle in to do it. Yes, nothing.

352
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 3: And I want to know if you were the same

353
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 3: way or if you're like, nah, I'm chilling, because it

354
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,880
Speaker 3: takes me, like to like three pm to be like okay,

355
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:31,639
Speaker 3: we can relax.

356
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 2: We will like settle into it.

357
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 3: To the day of doing like nothing, you know what

358
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 3: I mean, maybe an errand or two, but like, it

359
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 3: takes me a while to settle.

360
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,359
Speaker 2: H I think I've just had more practice at it.

361
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 2: So when I get up, I don't even set that alarm,

362
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,400
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, you get up. When you get up,

363
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 2: those freaking dogs will eat whenever I get to them.

364
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 2: Nobody's dying in this house. It's fine. So it doesn't

365
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 2: take me much settling in time anymore. But I remember

366
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,199
Speaker 2: when I used to go on vacation. There was this

367
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 2: really fancy spot I used to go to when I

368
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 2: thought I was a big shot, and they all said,

369
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 2: it's gonna take you three days to get into the

370
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: mindset of this place, for you to let go of work,

371
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 2: for you, let go of your like family obligations. So

372
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 2: I see how that could translate into just if you

373
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 2: have one day, it's gonna take you like a third

374
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 2: of it just to gear up into it. So my

375
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,159
Speaker 2: advice to you, even though you didn't ask, because I'm

376
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 2: always about giving advice when I'm not asked, like, don't

377
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 2: set the alarm and allow yourself to if you know

378
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm gonna break this. I'm gonna go

379
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 2: like grab coffee. I'm gonna like go to Duncan Dundas

380
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go and you know, take a walk, be

381
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 2: like okay, well I'm allowed to do that. So nothing

382
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 2: I don't think means laying down the whole day, even

383
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 2: though that's the goal. I think like the oh, I

384
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 2: allowed myself to do that thing, and even though it

385
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,639
Speaker 2: doesn't look strictly like nothing, it's still fine. Yeah, you know,

386
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 2: I think for me, it's just like, oh, I don't

387
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 2: want to interact with people for that day. I just

388
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,400
Speaker 2: want to be like, oh, I can just never say

389
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,479
Speaker 2: words out loud that aren't treat which is how I

390
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 2: call Parker and you. Okay, So next, who wrote to us?

391
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 3: Let's see? We have a letter here, Yes, from Chase

392
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 3: Chase Range, Illinois.

393
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: Sounds gay.

394
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 3: I'm in he probably is. Let's see, okay, Lisa, I

395
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 3: am thirty four years old, single guy gay. These are

396
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 3: my letters I wrote. Why are you keep putting these

397
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 3: in here?

398
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 2: You name your kid Chase? Come on, he's gonna be

399
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: chasing Dick. And it's I mean, it is what it is, Chase.

400
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 3: It's also spelled c h a ce.

401
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 2: Oh wait, It'sasse. Get the hell out of I'm joking.

402
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 2: Of course, I don't have any idea, but Yeshase.

403
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 3: So I'm a thirty four year old single guy. Gay

404
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 3: love you by the way. I love interacting with people

405
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: and socializing, but I'm simply lazy all caps. H. I

406
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 3: also feel quite satisfied with my relationship to the real Housewife.

407
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 3: Oh no, oh boy just took a turn. Their drama

408
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 3: and shit talking is enough to fill my cup and

409
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 3: my butt. No, that's here's the problem. I do not

410
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 3: want to die alone. I feel like I need to

411
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 3: be seeking a partner since I am not getting any younger.

412
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 3: But like I said, I am lazy all caps again.

413
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 3: Love you bie, Okay caps exclamation points.

414
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 2: Very good, They're rather to be exclamation boys after that.

415
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 2: I think Chase is very judgmental of himself. And the

416
00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 2: reason I say this is there's abs I I've rarely

417
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: met anyone who's quote lazy. That's such a judgy word.

418
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 2: People say I'm going to take a day and like

419
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 2: do nothing at home. I'm so lazy. It's like, no,

420
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 2: you're not. You're human and we're human being, not a

421
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 2: human doing. I know that's a cliche, but it's true.

422
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,439
Speaker 2: You know, and you've never been to a twelve step meeting. Uh,

423
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 2: but lazy is such a judgment on yourself. So I

424
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 2: think it's first of all, Chase, if I may call

425
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: you that, watch how you talk about yourself. Because I

426
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 2: never liked when, like Nick, you've done this where you're like, oh,

427
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 2: I'm so stupid or I'm so dumb. It's like, first

428
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 2: of all, if you're saying it, you're probably not it.

429
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 2: Like it's the people who go, am I a narcissist?

430
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I hope I'm not an narcissist. Of

431
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 2: course you're not, because you're questioning it. I guarantee you

432
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 2: Chase isn't lazy, but maybe is overly judgmental on the

433
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: time that he's spending by himself. Also, the one place

434
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 2: I'm going to judge check is how about we subtract

435
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: the drama of the Real housewives and then add actual

436
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 2: people in yeah, who don't come complete with drama, but

437
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 2: will invariably have some drama.

438
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 3: For sure.

439
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 2: There's no one I'm friends with who hasn't had a

440
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 2: tiny bit of dramatic content just because that's how we live.

441
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 2: Someone has somebody dying, someone has a sick dog, somebody

442
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,399
Speaker 2: has a bald head and tits. Nick, And this is

443
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 2: what happens. So that's enough dramatic content. And also then

444
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 2: it's called living because it seems really weird to be

445
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: so wrapped up in drama that doesn't really exist for you,

446
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 2: Like those aren't people who are serving you? And ask yourself?

447
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 2: Are you protecting yourself from interaction with others and getting

448
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 2: that little fix from people who don't know you on

449
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: a television It's like watching the Sopranos and thinking we're

450
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: friends with them, even though I think you and I

451
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 2: probably are friends with them in our minds. Yeah, oh totally,

452
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: they would so hang out with us, Like I mean,

453
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: I'm like Eadie Falco's sister. I think anyway, maybe your mom.

454
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, what do you think? Do you

455
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: to me? He sounds like it's I'm initially like chuckle

456
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: is his letter, But then I'm like, I'm a little

457
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: sad that he calls himself names like that.

458
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just dealing with some stuff on the inside there.

459
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 3: I think step one is stop watching the Real Housewives.

460
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I mean, well, I remember when I

461
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: did The Celebrity Apprentice, and this is of course before

462
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: Trump became anything. It was just like a fun show

463
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 2: to do that'll be silly. It turned me so off

464
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 2: to do to watching any kind of reality show because

465
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's not real. Everybody's fake, it's bullshit, and

466
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 2: you get so heyight in watching it. Like I if

467
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to watch a good drama on TV, say

468
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 2: it's like a Handmaid's Tale or something like that, you're

469
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: just like, Oh, it's worth it because of the art

470
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: of it. But watching these other things, it like just

471
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 2: get you keyed up and makes you think you know

472
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 2: people you don't.

473
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, awful people. Yeah, truly, it's the worst. I Mean.

474
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,360
Speaker 3: The thing that gets me with his letter is he said,

475
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: I feel like I need to be seeking a partner

476
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,959
Speaker 3: all that getting any younger. And I've gone back and

477
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 3: forth on this. I've asked a therapists about this brad

478
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 3: or guy, you know, I feel like he says, I

479
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: feel like I need to be seeking a partner, And

480
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 3: I always think do I like, do you need to

481
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 3: actively be looking and the apps and doing this and

482
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: making yourself go out or are you just like doing

483
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 3: stuff that makes you happy and as you live through

484
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: life you meet that person, Like, what's the answer is it? Like, No,

485
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 3: I have no idea.

486
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 2: As a single goal who's dated both in the era

487
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: of apps and things like that. Plus the old fashioned

488
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 2: way when they would drive up to your farm and

489
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: a horse and buggy and would trade your father would

490
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: trade you for two goats the sheep, and that's pretty

491
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 2: good price for me. I gotta tell you, I honestly,

492
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 2: in my gut, I feel like just living life and

493
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 2: seeing what happens, because then you're just open to things.

494
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,239
Speaker 2: And that's where all good ideas come from, is just

495
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 2: having some And again that's alone time. It's going. I'm

496
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: allowing myself to live my life alone and still look outward.

497
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 2: You can still walk down the street by yourself, but

498
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: not have your eyes and your phone or to the ground.

499
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 2: You can still be looking outward and be open, but

500
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 2: you don't have to be actively like searching and striving

501
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 2: sound like they will never get you the results you want.

502
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, that's the best example I can think

503
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 3: of right off the top of my head. Is like

504
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 3: the New Year's resolutioners, oh terrible. Never like when you

505
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 3: go from just you know, fucking off for lack of

506
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: a better word, the last four months of the year,

507
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 3: you've been drinking and going to parties and eating sugar,

508
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 3: and now you're like, all right, no carbs and no

509
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 3: alcoholics extreme, gonna go here and guess what. More times

510
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 3: than not you're gonna say relapse, but you're gonna it's

511
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 3: gonna come back.

512
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

513
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: Right, So it's like if you're going out, say he

514
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 3: he he has a he's motivated one day and he

515
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 3: flips the script. Yeah, I'm gonna done being lazy. I'm

516
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 3: gonna go out and I'm gonna chase men. I'm gonna

517
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 3: pull my ween around and do all this stuff turned.

518
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: Him into a bottom.

519
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 3: I'm just bottom. Probably think we're gonna ask me, I'm

520
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 3: gonna m find out. But if he flips the script

521
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 3: and he's like, I'm gonna go hard, like New Year's

522
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 3: Resolution style and go into it. And then if he's

523
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 3: disappointed or like things aren't going his way and he's like, oh,

524
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go back to what I was doing,

525
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 3: and then he'll go deeper into what he was already

526
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 3: doing as opposed to like, hey, maybe once a week.

527
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 2: Well it's once a week go to a bar. Yeah,

528
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: it's go with the flow. You. If no one has

529
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 2: ever gotten burnt out on anything, if they just want

530
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 2: with the flow. True, so you've never like been but

531
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 2: I used to think it was great to be driven

532
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: and to strive and to find a calm plishment. And

533
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 2: it's just like, I don't know. I mean, every friend

534
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 2: I've kind of met in the past, you know, twenty years,

535
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 2: has been just because you happen to go someplace and

536
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 2: you vibed and you got it. Was like, I'm going

537
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: to actively seek friendships. God damn it, I'm going to

538
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 2: this connection group and we are going to all do

539
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 2: a forced hike together. Like, by the way, yeah, don't

540
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: don't ever name physical activity for me, but yeah, I

541
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 2: think poor Chase I would be like, Also, thirty four

542
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 2: is to me not in quote danger of dying alone.

543
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: And that's a little young to be dramatic, but I

544
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: get it. That's where he is. Housewives, Yep, they sure have.

545
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 2: And you know what it is to dying alone. Guess what, Chase?

546
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: Everyone dies alone. Like if you could have a wife

547
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: sitting there, you're still alone in your death. Like there's

548
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: just the reality. I think it's acceptance that and not

549
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: in a fatalistic depressing way. Man, We're all gonna die

550
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: alone and that's okay. And I have to accept that

551
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 2: my body's gonna slow down. I'm gonna you know, getting

552
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 2: an acceptance of these inevitable things really free you up

553
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 2: to be more inflow and meet people and be present

554
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: and be in conversation and not have it forced. Does

555
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: that make sense to you? Yeah?

556
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 3: I think like also too. And I've done this in

557
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 3: the past, where like, say you're on a dating app

558
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 3: and you get a match and you're excited about it,

559
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, I get a match and like

560
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 3: maybe it doesn't pan out, or like they're not responsive

561
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 3: or x y Z or like you get excited about

562
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 3: all these opportunities, but then say they fall through and

563
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: you just start going down the other way versus like

564
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: you know, you're waiting for them to respond. It's like

565
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 3: it's just like a constant Yeah. I mean, hey, like,

566
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 3: are they gonna get back to me? Is this gonna?

567
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 3: Is this the one? Is this the Meanwhile? If you

568
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: just lived your life and do stuff you live your life,

569
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 3: you kind of This is something that my therapist told me,

570
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 3: was like people just kind of are attracted to like

571
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: you and.

572
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: What you're doing, your energy, you're vibe.

573
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got your own shit. You're not like, Hey,

574
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 3: what do you like a puppy dog following them around?

575
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 3: Be like you like me? You like me? You got

576
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: your own shit going on? Yeah, they find that attractive

577
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 3: if they like you, great.

578
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: So I think Chase should get out of the house

579
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 2: once twice a week. Yeah, get rid of the real

580
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 2: house while I stop watching some real dramatic stuff. So

581
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 2: you could talk to someone about something other than those

582
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 2: bitchy queens and just don't be so hard on yourself.

583
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 2: Don't call yourself lazy. We'll do that for you. Do

584
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 2: you have another letter? We do this, bitch.

585
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: We have a lady.

586
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: Oh, or, as we like to be called, a bit

587
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 2: clams clams. Yes, Melissa from New Rochelle, Oh, New York, Okay,

588
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: where my grandmother lived. Oh really, God, rest the soul.

589
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 3: Oh God, she had a penthouse.

590
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 2: Arleen had it going on. I'm keeping my first don't

591
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 2: damp my jewelry a way she's.

592
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 3: That is literally, I think the ghost of her just

593
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 3: went inside of you.

594
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm telling you those women all wanted to keep their

595
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: jewelry away from one particular cousin who was mean to them.

596
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 2: She didn't call me on yours poort aponted the anniversary

597
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: and now she's dead to make give my sapphires.

598
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,239
Speaker 3: Sorry, it's true. Melissa from New Rochelle, New York. I'm

599
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: gonna talk like this, Okay, Dear Lisa. First off, I'm

600
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 3: a huge fan and also have an ex husband with

601
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 3: big balls done that.

602
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: That's a good reason for a long time. By the way, boy,

603
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 2: living alone, I never have to be in danger that

604
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 2: two disco balls are gonna hit me in the naggin

605
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: pretty big. Okay, Okay, let's.

606
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 3: Come back to that. But now I live alone in

607
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 3: New York City and I absolutely love it, having my

608
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 3: sex and the city mom. The thought of going out

609
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 3: after a long workday is not appealing in any way.

610
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: But with friends wanting to get together, I'm struggling with

611
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 3: how to balance my love of being alone with the

612
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 3: pressure to be social and keep friendships alive. What do

613
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 3: you recommend? Thanks in advance.

614
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like she's killing it. I mean

615
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 2: like Chase is the fucking idiot. It sounds like like

616
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 2: the she says balance, here's the problem with balance. You're not.

617
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: You only start talking about balance when you're out of it.

618
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,239
Speaker 2: Then you notice it and you're like, oh shit, I

619
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: felt so in balanced yesterday what happened. So I think

620
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 2: it's like kind of going maybe setting up a loose

621
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 2: sort of network of Like, Okay, my loose schedule is

622
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 2: I always take Friday night and Sunday to like do

623
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: nothing and be by myself. But Saturday, you know, do

624
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 2: something with friends or do something with family. It's not

625
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: having this sort of all or nothing. I think the

626
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 2: big problem with people is it's either all or nothing.

627
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 2: And that's the problem with classifying ourselves even though we

628
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 2: all do it as introverts or extroverts, because no, I

629
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 2: always need to be alone, I always need to be

630
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: with people. No, like it has to be balanced somehow.

631
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: So I mean, I don't think she sounds like Sah.

632
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: First of all, she's from New Rochelle and she finally

633
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: escaped it and lives in New York City. I mean,

634
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: enjoy it and don't. By the way, those of you

635
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: who live in New York City, trust me. I lived

636
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 2: in New York for years. Never once went to a museum,

637
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: never once went to Central Park and laid out there

638
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: like some Mama luke who thinks it's their backyard. I

639
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 2: never once went to a trendy singles BA called Adam

640
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 2: Zappa or Adam's rib something. Those were the days when

641
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: we would go to the singles BAS. You'd sit up

642
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: there with your martini and your Donna Karen rap dress,

643
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 2: and the men would come up and early, lady, how

644
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: you doing looking for it to good BA. But never

645
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: did any of that stuff, so she's probably having her

646
00:33:59,120 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: little moment.

647
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 3: It sounds awesome. My first thought, like, this is the

648
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 3: women I date. She has an ex husband with big balls.

649
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 3: I could fill the space.

650
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 2: Always get rid of the ex husband with big balls.

651
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: That's right. And she's like, now I live in New

652
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 3: York City alone and absolutely love it. You're single and

653
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,439
Speaker 3: you're living in New York City.

654
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, again, what.

655
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 3: Seems to be a night one night.

656
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: You know what she needs to do is set up,

657
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 2: set up. See this is where you're doing to get

658
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: horny and try to bang the listeners. Listen, people, I'm

659
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 2: trying to protect you. If you're a woman or a

660
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: gay man out there, don't bang that. It's always a

661
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 2: road to trouble. But we'll talk about emotional unavailability in

662
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:46,959
Speaker 2: a different podcast episode. Yes, that is not even make sense.

663
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 2: You just got obsessed with wicked six months ago, I

664
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 2: don't know, I know you're gay. Now. I think she

665
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 2: and Chase should actually hook up and like switch a lot.

666
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 2: I don't even hook up physically because he's he's a

667
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: gay and like kind of she should educate him a

668
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:06,760
Speaker 2: little in like connecting. But like there's too much pressure

669
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,479
Speaker 2: in New York though, to do things. I do find

670
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 2: that's that where the balance gets tipped, where you're like

671
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 2: every night there's like a cool restaurant or a cool bar,

672
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 2: a cool opening of something, and it's just like, eh,

673
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 2: the beauty is. I remember once when I was sitting

674
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 2: I had been invited to a like a movie premiere

675
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: of some I don't know, it was a big deal.

676
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 2: It was a Jim Carrey movie or something. And I

677
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: was literally I said no because I didn't feel those

678
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,800
Speaker 2: things fed my soul anymore. And I was literally across

679
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: the street in a diner watching people, and I was like, oh,

680
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: that's the thing I was supposed to go to. I've

681
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: never been happier sitting alone by myself in a diner.

682
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 2: So you like you notice the times when you are

683
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 2: kind of like making the right choice of like, oh,

684
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 2: being around those people wasn't feeding it. Being alone did so.

685
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, Yeah, this is like I want

686
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 3: to like help her, but it seems like life's going

687
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 3: pretty good.

688
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: It seems like that's a humble brag letter. Yeah, I'm

689
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: living in New York my life. I mean, like what

690
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 2: seems to what is there a kernel of something in

691
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: it that sounds tragically?

692
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 3: I mean the line I thought of going out after

693
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 3: a long day of work is not appealing anyway.

694
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that's something you got to just

695
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 2: accept about yourself. By the way, save it for the weekend. Now,

696
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 2: the problem is then you're going to try to stuff it.

697
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 2: That's where the balance problem will come in, where you

698
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 2: s'll try to stuff it all into the weekend and

699
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 2: then hates the weekends. So maybe it's going one day

700
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 2: a week, I'm going to go for drinks with the

701
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 2: girlies there, go and watch a Real Housewives with the

702
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 2: girl with the gal pals. I don't know what girls do.

703
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 2: I think that's what they do. I probably correct. She

704
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: is definitely not. Maybe I think Celia is a potential

705
00:36:53,080 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 2: scissorer from way back, way back. Yet yes, no, but

706
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 2: I think it's like basically, take one night a week,

707
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 2: fall on the sword and be like, I gotta make

708
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 2: something happen one night a week. Then take your Saturday

709
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 2: or your Friday, and then allow yourself. I think all

710
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: of this is like allowing yourself to be yourself and

711
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: find your own balance and stop questioning what's right for

712
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 2: you on the inside and doesn't have to look like

713
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 2: a TV show. That's probably probably why I never went

714
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 2: to any trendy things or went to museums or anything,

715
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 2: because I didn't feel it on the inside. It was like, well,

716
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 2: I'm should be going. Anytime you're saying should, it's probably

717
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 2: a don't right.

718
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like to fall on the sword thing. I

719
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: think that's what you should do, so you should do Melissa,

720
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 3: fall on the sword, sit on the sword. My nickname

721
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 3: in high school is excaliburs.

722
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, so we don't. Could you

723
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 2: please explain that it sounds very inter resting out of a.

724
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,919
Speaker 3: Rock and fight another army.

725
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 2: I think that's wow, someone's taking Shakespeare class. Listen. I

726
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 2: think we've been helpful to Chase. I think Melissa has

727
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 2: done some gentle bragging and we kind of hate her

728
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: a little bit now, and you're gonna date her? Uh

729
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 2: if you have a question for me, make sure to

730
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: email us us shrink this show at gmail dot com.

731
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 2: That I was gonna spell it, but I'm like, really,

732
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 2: could you like spell it without wait? See if you

733
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: could spell it Nick without looking down? Because you got

734
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 2: what was your GPA in college?

735
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: Oh?

736
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 3: College was good? What collge? We were at a three? Even?

737
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 3: Remember what was your school?

738
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

739
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 3: Personality? Yes, look, dude, Celia's faces.

740
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 2: I know it's pretty crazy. So try to spell shrink

741
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: this show at Gmail without.

742
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 3: Looking s h R I N hey t h s

743
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: s h W.

744
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 2: Every week I like to show that you know Lisa

745
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: Lampinelli despite my famed fortune. In general, overall, Jones Sequa

746
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 2: are absolutely imperfect, just like the rest of you.

747
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 3: Am.

748
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: I less imperfect than most of you, duh obvi, but

749
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: I still make mistakes. And this is when I told

750
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 2: my friend Andrew Ginsberg about because whenever I do something bad,

751
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: I try to confess to you because they hold you accountable. No,

752
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: just because I feel I could be open. Now, Nick,

753
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 2: tell me please if you can relate to this. It

754
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 2: was a very busy day on the road. It's very

755
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,800
Speaker 2: a lot of traffic, A lot of people wanted to

756
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 2: get a certain place at a certain time, and heck, yeah,

757
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: I'm one of them two right, and there I am

758
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 2: in my I don't like to brag twenty ten Lexus

759
00:39:55,880 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 2: SUV with my three hundred and sixteen thousand mile because

760
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 2: I feel at heart, you know, I'm the gal who

761
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 2: drives a car into the ground. I'm a gal who,

762
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 2: like my dad or my mom, has that work ethic, like, man,

763
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 2: we're gonna buy that car, and we're gonna get everything

764
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 2: out of it. I remember once having a freaking car,

765
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 2: Chevy Chavette in my first car when I was in

766
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 2: my twenties, and I didn't get rid of it until

767
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: the window broke, so you had to put like plastic

768
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 2: on it. And my mother, in all her inemitable power

769
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: and lightness of being, said, you look like a Puerto Rican. Really,

770
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 2: that's why I figure better get that change. So I

771
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 2: like a car that I drive into the ground, but

772
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 2: it still looks good. Lexus has never looked bad. Yeah,

773
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 2: so I'm driving, But I've always said to myself, this

774
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: car doesn't really suit me. I have Toyota personality. I'm

775
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 2: raised like a human. I'm raised lower middle class. We

776
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 2: didn't have tons, we had to take our student loans,

777
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 2: so we were thank god privileged enough to go to college.

778
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 2: But very basic folk. I'm very dunkin donuts. I'm basic

779
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 2: as fuck. So at heart, I know I'm a Toyota

780
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: person driving Alexis. But now we're in the heavy traffic

781
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 2: day I referenced and some guy. I know it was

782
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: a guy because I'm assuming. I'm sure he was white,

783
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 2: because I'm assuming that too, because all white men are terrible, right.

784
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 2: He literally cuts me off so close. And I rarely

785
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: get scared on the road. I always say my two

786
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 2: talents ever were driving and comedy. That's all I can do,

787
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 2: so I never really get that scared. He cuts me

788
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: off like within an inch, and I was like ugh,

789
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 2: And the first oh my god, it's so evil. The

790
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: first thought that comes to my mind as I watch

791
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,879
Speaker 2: him drive in front of me. I don't even beat

792
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 2: the horn. I don't do anything outward. It's all my

793
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 2: internal fuck up, which is huh, enjoy your fucking Nissan, asshole.

794
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 2: Even saying it, I'm so grossed out because it's such

795
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 2: a like rich people asshole move. And again, yet did

796
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: I do it anything outward?

797
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: No?

798
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 2: I didn't beep. I didn't follow him. I didn't roll

799
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 2: down the windows. I've always said I have rage everywhere,

800
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 2: but the road I've never because it's just too much

801
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 2: at stakes. It's very really scary. It's too much a

802
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,919
Speaker 2: stake when you're driving. But the first thought was I'm

803
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 2: better than you because I drive this fucking car and

804
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,840
Speaker 2: you're a piece of shit. No guarantee you. He's a

805
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 2: piece of shit for all different reasons. It's not a

806
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 2: Nissan because guess what this is how God got me

807
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: back A mere two weeks later, Fucking Lexus starts shaking

808
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 2: in the front boo. I'm like, after only three hundred

809
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: and sixteen thousand miles, how dare you? And do you

810
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 2: know what I took it in? They had me convinced

811
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: I have to buy a new car, and I said,

812
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 2: you know what your penance and your practice is now.

813
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 2: You gotta go back and buy the car that's really you.

814
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 2: You gotta buy Toyota. No, not a Nissan. They're kind

815
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 2: of the same, they are they have just our family's

816
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 2: a Toyota family. And I was like, this is the

817
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: Universe's way of teaching me that that little part of

818
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 2: my ego that's still attached to things is just not

819
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 2: something I need anymore. I need to be driving around

820
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 2: in a regular car like a regular person, because that's

821
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 2: who I am internally, and legit is alexis better than

822
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 2: a Toyota. Maybe it has a little more pickup, maybe

823
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 2: it's more roomy. Whatever it is, I'm not fancy. So

824
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: go back to your roots. Get a Toyota, Lisa, and

825
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 2: see how that feels. And it does feel a little weird,

826
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 2: I know. Well, luckily Angel intervened as part three of

827
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: the story. My mechanic ended up fixing the lexus, so

828
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 2: I get to push off my ego issues until my

829
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: lexus truly breaks down. But I did talk to my

830
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 2: shrink about going to that judgment with that guy, and

831
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 2: she says, I think the most uncomfortable thing for you

832
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 2: to do, which is obviously when we're uncomfortable, there's the

833
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 2: best growth is going to be getting the car you wait,

834
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 2: the car you need, versus the car car you want.

835
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 2: And I think that car is going to be a

836
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: fucking toy owner. Yeah it is, so, I mean I

837
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 2: think those so I like when I have a fuck

838
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 2: up that actually drives me to work on an issue.

839
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: You know, I like that. I thought it and owned it,

840
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: and it was embarrassing to say it. The first time

841
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 2: I told our friend Andrew, I was so embarrassed because

842
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 2: he's like a Volvo driver. But he's a basic guy

843
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 2: too at heart, He's he's like just us. I think,

844
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 2: my dirty Italian self someday have to just buy a Toyota.

845
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 2: But I'm not getting a fucking Camra. I like them,

846
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 2: but they're too small. I just feel like I'm and

847
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 2: also like to Mike pull down my own veil. I'm

848
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,359
Speaker 2: getting older and uh getting in and out of one

849
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 2: of those fucking back seats. No, yeah, you gotta have

850
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: an issuvou because I'm always making out, as you know,

851
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 2: constantly having the sex in the car. That is my

852
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: That's going to be my fuck up next week is

853
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 2: that I had the sex in a car. Can you

854
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 2: imagine ever paying for sex? No, that's for a different episode.

855
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 2: The only reason I thought, I was thinking, why would

856
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 2: I ever be in a backseat of a car. Probably

857
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 2: just be life. I drove up on some male hooker

858
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: just happened to be standing there. Hey, hey, sailor, you

859
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 2: want to hop in the back of my Toyota? I

860
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 2: mean it could happen.

861
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 3: I hope it does happen.

862
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 2: I do. I did have a dream that I was

863
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 2: making out with a really hot guy in the back

864
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: of a truck. The others I don't know, some guy

865
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: supposedly from my past.

866
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 3: You don't remember who was though, No, but he was hot.

867
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 2: How hot?

868
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 3: Are we talking?

869
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 2: Like a little football player, not a big football player,

870
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 2: at a little tiny football player.

871
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 3: A corner like a bottle head, a corner.

872
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 2: This paper? Yeah with Nick, Oh my god, listen, we

873
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: gotta go. I've shown you my flaws. Next time we

874
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 2: speak you may be talking to Toyota driver. But for now,

875
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 2: thank god, my ego gets the lexus. All right, Yeah,

876
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,439
Speaker 2: all right, So Nick, it's been a pleasure. Tell people

877
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 2: once again where they can find you.

878
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 3: You could follow me on social media at nick scopes

879
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,959
Speaker 3: like the Mouthwashed because I'm fresh and mintye.

880
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,240
Speaker 2: No, you're neither, And you can find me at Lisa

881
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: Klampa now Lisa Lampinelle. If you can't smell it, well,

882
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: then you don't deserve to borow. And please come back

883
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: again and hear our next episode of shrink This, and

884
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 2: make sure to send us your questions at shrinth This

885
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 2: show at gmail dot com at shrinthstop up timemalth dot

886
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 2: com and make sure to follow us on socials and

887
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 2: make sure to listen to shrink this on your iHeartRadio

888
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 2: app or wherever you get your podcasts, which should be

889
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app.

890
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 3: With you, stupid