WEBVTT - Church Culture with Edward Rivera 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:07.360 Welcome back to the Overcome for podcast. I'm your host 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:12.119 Jennica Lopez. Thank you guys so much for choosing to 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:16.760 watch and listen to the podcast today. I am excited 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:21.120 to bring and present our guests today. He is a 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:27.760 member of Bethel Music. Yes, it was like Bethel Music. 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:30.319 For those or for those that know who don't know, 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:35.200 Bethel Music is probably one of the biggest Christian music brands. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:39.000 I feel that that is pretty out there. Anyways, his 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:43.320 name is Edward Rivera. I'm so excited to connect with 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.080 you and talk to you today because, you know, I 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:50.640 feel like people that have grown up in church, like 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:52.879 we were talking about when we were starting, when we 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.320 were chit chatting before we started, Yeah, there's like a 0:00:56.360 --> 0:01:02.560 specific connection, especially Spanish churches, and you know, I feel 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:04.039 like there's we all have some. 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:07.399 Shared stories, stories, trauma. 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:11.600 Trauma situations, and I said, like they're not unspoken of. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.440 There's people that talk about it. You know, maybe we 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.280 could just chat and see how it is and then 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.560 obviously talk about your growth and how you got to 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:24.119 where you're at right now. So who is where did 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.959 you come from? How did you Obviously you grew up 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.320 in church, tell me about like your first experience and 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:33.240 how growing up that. 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:34.040 Oh that was. 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:35.360 Well, first of all, I just want to say thank 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.320 you for having me. I'm so honored to be here. 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:41.039 And I've been watching your podcast for a minute too. 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:41.399 Really. 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:45.240 Yeah, of course I've learned about I've learned about stuff 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.360 I didn't even know, you know, like you have so 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:48.880 many topics, you talk about so many things. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:49.960 It's really cool. Thank you. 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.040 Yeah. So yeah, I've been doing this for a long 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:56.360 time now. I started off as a background singer first, 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:00.360 but growing up in church, like, singing was not something 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.400 I thought I was ever going to do because I 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:06.160 I just the only people I saw on stage was 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.480 like edemanas you know, like older ladies from church. They 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:12.440 were playing exactly the sisters of the church. They were 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.480 playing in my church specifically growing up. They were like 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.760 they were the only guy on stage was the drummer. 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:23.919 Everybody else was keyboard like girls. Okay, So I just thought, well, 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:27.120 singing is for girls. I never thought about it at. 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:29.520 All, so like it wasn't like a possibility. 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:31.840 I didn't even know you could do anything with it. 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.480 I just I wasn't even thinking about singing at all. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.800 And then until I was seventeen. That's when I like 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.839 really like met I guess met the Lord, like met God, 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.280 and yeah, like that's kind of what started everything. And 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.720 I was just like I I was at that point 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:49.360 in my life. I was kind of really empty and 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.160 really lonely and just going through it as a teenager, 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:54.560 you know, and I'm. 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:56.880 Broken. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.359 The world is yeah, the world's over. Everything's just gonna yeah. 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:03.040 So but yeah, I know it was good. Uh I 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.720 met him. I met the Lord at a youth. 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:09.960 Camp and me too, I thought it. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:14.000 Yeah, it's always youth camp and I went like my mom, 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:15.560 oh my god. 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:18.920 You know what though, like, and I'm so sorry to 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:20.800 cut you off, but these are the things that I'm saying, 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:24.880 Like I'm I think every person I know has been 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:26.360 saved at a youth camp. 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.280 Which is beautiful. 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.840 Yes the camp if you have it, if you're if 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.440 you're old, still going no, But and. 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:38.800 I like whether because I love I appreciate, you know, 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.640 being saved at a young age. You know, now that 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:45.800 I'm older, I feel like it's reborn. And I don't know, 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:48.480 maybe for you also the same, like you feel reborn 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:50.560 now that you get older, and you feel like you 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:56.080 meet not the better version of Christ, but like just 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:57.400 a new review. 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:02.040 A healthier a healthier Yes, understand who Yes, yeah, I 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:03.760 mean I'll tell you, I'll tell you. 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:06.120 I have so much. I'm sure you do too. 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:10.320 Church traumas, church stories, and yeah, like church was not something. 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.080 It didn't wasn't fun for me growing up, so like, uh, 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.320 it wasn't until that youth camp, Like I'm glad my 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.400 mom made me go to be honest, but yeah, like 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:26.039 it was, it was great. I'm I think everybody should go. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.440 Okay, so we've obviously like we're obviously talking about traumas. 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:34.120 Is there anything that like you've learned from then until now? Like, 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:37.640 I don't know, because I feel like there's so many 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:38.680 things that you can learn. 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:40.440 Oh my gosh, no, and I even said it. 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:42.760 You said it like a better understanding, a better version 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.800 of yourself, I think, or even understanding of even like 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:50.760 what who he is? Like I think as a kid, 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.200 you just believe whatever they tell you. So they're like, 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:55.320 if you do this, God's going to be mad at 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:57.360 you or God's watching you, and you start feeling like 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.880 so afraid and and feeling like that's of becomes the 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:02.640 foundation of your relationship with God. 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.080 It's like very fear based, yes, and. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.360 I feel like that still lives till this day? Does 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.560 it like linger for you? Where like at least for 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.400 me where I feel like I feel like I punish 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.840 myself mentally but under like I know that God's not 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:20.480 mad me, but I know in my head, like I 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.880 think it's that you're whatever you're doing, making like every 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:24.520 situation I. 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:25.640 Question myself exactly. 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.919 I think it's just like the accusation, like that voice 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:33.159 of shame, and you know, like for example, like I'm 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:33.880 tied it up right. 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:35.760 I have tracts everywhere too. I love it. 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.000 I love tattoos. But like growing up in church, like 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:40.480 it was like that is a no no, you know, it. 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.440 Was like laboo forbidden exactly. 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:44.640 So you start thinking, like, man, is God really this 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.680 mad about like you know, you start it starts to 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:48.839 mess with your understanding of who he is. 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:52.600 But the older you get and the more you grow. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.400 And the more you see things, and the more you 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.839 even understand as the word differently than when you were 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.000 a kid, because before they used to just tell you 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.320 what it meant, and now that you're older, you can 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.040 kind of you're old enough to question some of it 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.760 and to you know, and then just get like a 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.920 better understanding and you grow. So to answer your question, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.880 I feel like my biggest thing that I've learned, or 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:16.640 the way that I've grown, is more so my understanding 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:21.640 of who he is. So twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen, 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:25.400 when Hurricane Harvey hit in Houston, I was doing a 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.840 job out there, like a background job, and I didn't 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:30.320 know that there was a hurricane coming. 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:34.760 So at all, and you see nothing. I wasn't. I'm 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:36.480 from West Coast, like I don't think about hurt. 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:42.520 And I get there and they have like this hurricane 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:45.960 that came and they shut everything down and I was 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:46.920 like stuck out there. 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.040 It was like the most traumatic experience. 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.680 I couldn't I was out. I was stuck in Texas 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.599 and Houston for like two weeks. I was at someone's 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.040 house first, and like we have to get rescued at 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:57.440 some point. 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:58.680 Like it was just nuts. 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:02.400 But the whole time that's kind of what started everything 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:06.400 for me. The whole time, I was thinking, well, isn't 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.480 God the one that sends the hurricanes? Because that's what 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.600 they told me growing up, Like you know, it's like 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:14.880 he's mad at people. So yeah, sending hurricane Yeah, Like 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:16.400 how many times have they said that God's going to 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.440 punish California and We're gonna be in the water somewhere, 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:21.280 you know what I mean. Like it's all these curses 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:25.440 that people have spoken for so long, and then I'm 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.000 in it and I'm like, well what do I do 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:27.760 with that information? 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:31.760 Yeah? Am I did you send me here to die? 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:32.400 You know? 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.280 You start to question all these things that I've never 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:36.080 I questioned God in a way that I never had. 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.760 So that kind of catapulted like this curiosity in me 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.360 to like want to know him a little deeper and 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:44.440 want to know who he is. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:47.480 Because that's what I was gonna ask you, like, how 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:51.120 did your relationship shift? Like because there's people that like 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.880 saved saved young Christian their whole lives and then they 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:59.440 kind of just I mean like they just don't want 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:00.840 to have a reallyship. 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:01.360 With God at all? 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:02.560 Right, right, you know what I mean? 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:04.960 And I feel like, Okay, thank you God that I'm 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:10.040 able to understand and still question, how like for you, 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:15.040 how did you manage to that shift, like you know, 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.080 to not create that bitterness or to not create that 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:19.000 you know what I mean? 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.400 Yeah, like church or with God or anything. 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:26.760 Man, I think I had to dev I had to 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.360 own my relationship with him. So before I had a 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:33.280 relationship with him through church, through ministry, through singing on 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:36.839 a stage, through other people, I didn't. I don't think 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.120 I actually really knew who he was, like I was. 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:44.080 I knew who they told me he was, but it 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.800 didn't line up with like a lot of what they 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:48.520 told me was was like him was being him as 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.560 angry and bitter and and upset with me, and I'm 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:53.880 just like, you know, freaking all the time, scared, am 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:55.160 I gonna go to Hell today or something? 0:08:55.240 --> 0:09:01.400 You know, Like, But I think the shift was owning 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:01.880 that I said. 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.760 Like I said, after that hurricane situation, I decided to 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.360 be like I'm going to go on my own journey 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:10.600 of figuring out who you are because I need to 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:13.520 know you as good because I feel like you abandoned 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:17.600 me there, you know, so I'm like, I don't know 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:19.160 who you are, Like it was just like it was 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:20.920 just it just threw me off. So I started to 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:24.920 read on my own and ask questions. I asked a 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:26.920 lot of questions. I said, why do we believe this? 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:30.160 And like why can't what's so wrong about tattoos? And 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.000 you know, I started to question. But when you question, 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:34.559 I don't know if you have that same experience. 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:36.920 I don't. I don't actually don't know your church experience. 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:41.560 But if you question, it's if you question the pastor 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.480 if you question, it's almost like you're questioning God. Yes 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.360 you know, so then you don't even trust your own 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.680 thoughts or your own stuff. But I've developed my own 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.240 relationship with him. I've been able to like he know, 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:57.679 his voice is so certain that like I don't care 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.320 what people tell me, like if they know it was 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.079 like if people start coming for me for like how 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.960 I dress or how I look. I I know my 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.079 own truth. I have my own foundation, so that shame 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:13.640 doesn't hit me as it's like I'm shielded by truth. 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:17.760 You're and you're secure exactly where in what your foundation is. Yeah, 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.559 we're gonna go on a quick break and we will 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:21.640 be right back. Welcome back, you guys. 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:27.160 I'm actually curious to know your church history, Like do 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.880 we share traumas? Yeah, you know everybody away from church. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.000 I don't want to be a part of this. 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.240 I know, no, But that's the thing is a lot 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:37.200 of those people probably grew up in those situations and 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:40.839 are left and that left and just don't and they 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:44.640 have this specific image of what God is like, and 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.760 that's you know, and that what's that's what makes me 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:50.000 sad is that there's so many souls and so many 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:53.679 people that happen in situations. Grew up question grew up 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.240 in a Catholic even household where it was just super 0:10:56.320 --> 0:11:01.839 strict and super like this this, this this bad and 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:06.240 I'm luckily like my parents weren't like that. My mom obviously, 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.680 you know, I grew up Christian because my uncle's a 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.720 pastor and it was very important that you know, God 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:15.120 is there's a foundation. My mom wasn't the perfect Christian, Like, 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:17.839 you know, we weren't going to church every Sunday. But then 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.599 I went with my sister. At that point, I was 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:23.520 already old enough to take myself to drive, and you know, 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.440 I was in the worship team. I was very committed, 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:33.000 and you know it, it got to a point where 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:37.000 it was just like it just didn't feel peaceful anymore. 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.400 And it was also because of decision decisions of people 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.320 around me where it was like okay, like this isn't okay. 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:50.560 Like and I'm not saying like and I'm not shaming 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.680 those people, you know, but it was like the way 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.800 you see God in those times, it's like you're supposed 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:57.600 to be like the most perfect and the most holiest, 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.079 and everyone's trying to be like just like Jesus and 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:03.240 you know, forgetting that sin ever existed, you know. So 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:06.240 it was kind of like you're just carrying a lot 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:07.880 of weight and a lot of shame, and it's like 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:10.680 it doesn't feel okay, this doesn't feel. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:11.920 Like God, you know. 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:15.160 So and I left and I left, you know, and 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:17.920 it was like obviously, you know, they have like specific, 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:19.480 very specific. 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:21.720 Roles on how to be on the worship team or 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:22.040 to be. 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.359 Able to serve anything, to do anything. 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:28.840 And for me, I just feel like at the end 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:31.040 of the day, I'm still serving the Lord whether I 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:34.160 do anything. What, you know, if I go to church 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.280 every Sunday, you're not like, I'm still serving him and 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.719 I know it's pleasing him. So it's like and that's 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.000 where it was hard for people, at least for me 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.600 to make that shift and to like, you know, for 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:48.040 people to understand. And that's where you also lose friendships. 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:48.559 That's where you. 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:50.280 Also lose family members, and. 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:55.679 You know, it stays in the people have a very 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:57.240 old school mindset and it's. 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.840 Just not wonder where it comes from. 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.560 Well, Like, I don't like to use that word because 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:05.800 a lot of people talk because it's been tabooed. 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.560 But deconstruction is like such a big taboo word in 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:10.040 the church. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.959 But I don't feel like I deconstructed. I feel like 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:17.800 I reconstructed. I feel like I didn't want to lose 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:19.880 my faith, but I was definitely going to get to 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:21.480 the core of like what is it that I believe? 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.840 Why do I believe it? And I'm going to stand 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:24.160 on it. 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.400 Yeah, So once I started to get to the root 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:28.920 of it, then you start to see, like would you say, 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.040 you start to notice that like that doesn't feel like God, 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.720 or that doesn't look like God, or what you're saying 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.120 up there doesn't sound like who I know God to be. 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.480 So you start to kind of be like, what do 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:42.200 I do with that information? So I think it's super healthy, 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.720 like to go through that, like what you did to 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.080 question to do that, it's super healthy. I think that 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.120 as long as you continue to anchor yourself in that faith, 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:52.319 I think you're good. 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:54.760 Yeah, and that's what like, I think, that's what I 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.680 live off today. Like as long as I have a 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:01.360 good foundation, my relationship with God is you know, I'm 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.520 feeding all the right places. 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:05.480 You don't have to prove that to anyone, No, And. 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.240 I don't know, I realistically don't. And I've learned that 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.160 over the years to take that pressure off, you know 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:15.920 what I mean. I don't like it sounds bad, but 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:21.080 like being labeled as a Christian sets this perfect like 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.720 you have to be this certain way, and it's like no, like, yes, 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:26.880 I'm Christian, but I also you know, I do other things, 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:30.200 and but I'm okay with what I'm doing. I'm okay 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:32.880 with what I'm doing, and I'm at peace and I know. 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:34.320 And that's what matters exactly. 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.640 And my foundation is my foundation. Your foundation is your face. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:38.400 You know. 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.400 Everybody has their own rules and that that's why I 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.680 generally love to live by like you know what christ 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.080 is my foundation. That is the one I'm running to 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:51.560 be whatever, and without having that pressure on my friends 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:52.640 or anybody else. 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:54.760 Like you know, I'm. 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.960 Perfectly imperfect, but I'm still loved and I'm still seen, 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:03.400 and I'm still you know, a lot of beauty from ashes, 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.280 from what you know, from what my from what my 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.280 journey with God has been. He's created a lot, created 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.160 a lot of good things, and I'm grateful. And you know, 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:15.160 everyone has their own journey, and it's it hasn't been perfect. 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.760 It's been long and scary, and you know what, it's 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.480 hard even for me. I'm not gonna lie to you 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:22.640 like it's hard even for me as a I didn't 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.880 sign up to be a Christian influencer. 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:26.960 I don't even like that word or that label or 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:27.360 that name. 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.240 I didn't sign up what I because social media isn't 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.640 what it is now right. So in the beginning, you 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.200 just post because it's for your friends and you. 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:36.120 You love sharing. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.960 They celebrate you, and then all of a sudden you 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:40.640 realize that there's like people following you, and then they 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.160 start to they start to have opinions about what you're 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:46.080 doing and how you should live because they have a 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:49.280 different man. Okay, So I sing a lot in the Spanish, 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:54.520 you know, Spanish side, and a lot of the audience 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.760 is from Latin America, and how we do church here 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:03.400 in America is so different. Yes, especially so we would 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.080 I'm a part of the I was I grew up 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:06.280 as some as a god. I don't know if you know 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.360 anything about that. But there was a Spanish side, and 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.640 there was a white side, English side. When we called 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.360 it the white side, but it was English side, and 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:17.200 it was night and day Spanish side, so many rules. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:19.560 Boys said on one side, girl said on the other side, 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:21.040 and then we would go to the When we would 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.640 do the English side or the English part of the 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:27.280 ag some as a god, it would be like a party. 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.880 It'd be like fun, it'd be like so many things. 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:33.560 So I know that that comes from culture and tradition 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.800 and stuff from like that, from like the fifties, and 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:39.560 a lot of like people that hold onto those beliefs still, 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:43.240 but they're trying to put their own personal history or 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.280 their own personal beliefs onto me. Yeah, and I'm like, 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:48.720 I can't carry that. I didn't grow up that way. 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:52.120 I don't believe that, you know. I remember one time 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:55.360 this I went to go sing somewhere. It was a 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:57.760 youth conference and I went. It was like one of 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:00.720 my first times to like singing on my own, and 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.800 I wore these shorts and that's like a no no 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:06.719 in Spanish world. So I wore these shorts, and like, 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.040 I thought it was cool because it was youth and 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:11.639 like I do, I do. I've done youth stuff with 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:17.360 basketball shorts before, you know, at the time. And this lady, well, 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:19.960 she's like a big she was like a main pastor 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.800 for that whole thing. She grabs me right I'm about 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.000 to go on stage. She pulls me off and she's 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.359 like and she's like, she tells me something in Spanish, 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.840 but onlinkin though, because she's like, Mama said, I'm not collecta, 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:32.199 but I gotta look at this. 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:39.600 And I was like, what does she say? What's collecta? Behind? 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:41.920 I was just like, what's a collecta? 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.280 And then she told me and then I got what 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:45.680 she said and she told me she was like go. 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.320 And I was like whoa. Like that just threw me off. 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:56.399 And I remember being like super hurt by that and 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:57.960 being like why does it even matter? 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.119 You know, Like how I'm up there. 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:02.199 I don't sing in suit and a tie in my 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:06.040 house by myself, you know, privately, So why would I 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:08.440 feel like I have to dress up for you? 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.800 You know? So I have I have that. 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.760 I felt a lot of that pressure, like you, and 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.879 I think I had to just like you said, re 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.199 recognize that, like this is my relationship. I'm good. I 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:24.119 know I'm good. I don't have to prove it to y'all. 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:27.280 I don't have to post to prove it to y'all. 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:27.919 You know what I mean. 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.439 I like that that's your mentality because it's like you 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:32.360 really don't owe anyone. 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:35.640 You don't have to prove your salvation to anyone. 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.080 Exactly as long as you're good. 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.920 Come on exactly. That's what I'm saying. 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:41.320 Yes, we're gonna. 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:43.119 Go on a quick break and we will be right back. 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:45.840 Welcome back, you guys. So I want to talk about 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.879 how you got into Bethel. Oh yeah, like that journey. 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.800 How's it going now, dude? 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:53.199 I love that. 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:55.720 I love that I get to be like the like 0:18:56.200 --> 0:19:00.600 somebody representing for our people and like our culture and 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.520 be able to bring what our own history and our 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.359 own experience growing up in our own church culture and everything, 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:07.600 bringing that into this space. 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.360 It's so cool. I get to be a bridge between 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:11.840 them both. 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.040 So anyway, So it started, like I said, I was 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:18.760