1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,920
Speaker 1: Ow, hey everybody. I'm Michelle Vutell.

2
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,159
Speaker 2: And I'm Jordan Carlos, and welcome to Adulting from w

3
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,800
Speaker 2: NYC Studios, the podcast where we learn how to be

4
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,160
Speaker 2: grown ass adults together.

5
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 3: That's right.

6
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,599
Speaker 4: We recorded this episode at Union Hall in Brooklyn with

7
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,400
Speaker 4: some really amazing people.

8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, christ Stefano, who's basically like, I don't know if

9
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,799
Speaker 2: a hogie could talk, Oh my god.

10
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,280
Speaker 1: And also Jim Gaffigan.

11
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, if oh, no, cheesecake could talk.

12
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:32,960
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

13
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,840
Speaker 6: You can't say that about our guests.

14
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,239
Speaker 7: But everybody loves cheesecake.

15
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,280
Speaker 4: Plus Jim Gaffigan also helps our audience figure out what

16
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,280
Speaker 4: they do about the void. Okay, that's an actual question

17
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,320
Speaker 4: from our audience.

18
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:46,479
Speaker 8: It's true.

19
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 2: So stay tuned and let's all lit tool together.

20
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,720
Speaker 4: Oh like a fine wine better with age and bitter

21
00:00:53,760 --> 00:01:00,800
Speaker 4: when left alone. Aw, I'm doing open because this is

22
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,200
Speaker 4: a Jordan carl yump.

23
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,520
Speaker 3: That beautiful style.

24
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,160
Speaker 9: This crowd is.

25
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,000
Speaker 1: Sing know how you feeling?

26
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,560
Speaker 9: Oh wow, yes.

27
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,280
Speaker 1: Make some noise of you in twenties. Oh that bitch

28
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: sounds like real fucking horny.

29
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,160
Speaker 4: I like, she sounds like she wants something on the

30
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,679
Speaker 4: price of right. That's a twenty something kind.

31
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,200
Speaker 1: Of scream, makes some noise.

32
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:35,959
Speaker 4: In your thirties, makes a noise in your forties.

33
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 3: Exactly, say the drop of that's a.

34
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,560
Speaker 1: Forty something kind of fucking scream.

35
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,600
Speaker 6: Whoa what time is the show?

36
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:48,080
Speaker 3: Stumper?

37
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:53,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Hold dear, oh makes you in your fifties?

38
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:55,760
Speaker 6: All dead?

39
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,840
Speaker 3: They're all dead. They're all dead.

40
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,520
Speaker 1: They're not dead, they're just lying.

41
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,200
Speaker 7: In New Jersey.

42
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:03,760
Speaker 3: That's good.

43
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,320
Speaker 4: So different, different Jersey because I'm from Jersey.

44
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:11,840
Speaker 3: One in Jersey.

45
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 7: You came all the way here?

46
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,959
Speaker 9: Why no, please?

47
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:16,239
Speaker 3: Day?

48
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 7: Oh my god, came from Jersey?

49
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:18,760
Speaker 6: Did you pay?

50
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:18,920
Speaker 5: Like?

51
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,000
Speaker 3: Did you?

52
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:21,200
Speaker 10: Oh?

53
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,440
Speaker 3: Oh my god? I'm what's your name?

54
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 6: Tony? Justin?

55
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,120
Speaker 10: Is your name?

56
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:43,079
Speaker 2: Justin? Nailed it across?

57
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:43,440
Speaker 3: Yes?

58
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,720
Speaker 7: Wow, you could just reduce him to a stereot.

59
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,120
Speaker 3: That would be great.

60
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 1: I have risen I come again.

61
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,200
Speaker 6: This is too much and.

62
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,280
Speaker 1: It's just not enough.

63
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 6: So yes, we talk.

64
00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,239
Speaker 3: About like you know, life. We check in with each other.

65
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 3: How you made it through this week?

66
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,720
Speaker 6: You're doing bro?

67
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a battlefield, yo, and likes a battlefield

68
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 2: it is. I'm like check in and and you're usually okay,

69
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,280
Speaker 2: you're still with it, you know me?

70
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm all right, right out of the house.

71
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,560
Speaker 4: But it's harder the older you get. It's hard to

72
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,840
Speaker 4: leave your house, especially if you like.

73
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 1: The people you live with. Anybody else just want to

74
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:24,200
Speaker 1: stay home.

75
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 6: L Let me just tell you what happened to me

76
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,320
Speaker 6: last week.

77
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 4: What happened I did the road. That means it's a comic.

78
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 4: You go on the road, you travel to a show.

79
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,200
Speaker 4: I was in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I was like a like

80
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 4: a fucking colonial Airbnb or bed and breakfast. The buyers

81
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,400
Speaker 4: always think like, let's put them up in a nice place,

82
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,000
Speaker 4: but that shit's always dusty and haunted.

83
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, straight up ghost, I'm like, who's looking at me?

84
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,800
Speaker 1: You know I can't. I gotta jerk off under.

85
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,280
Speaker 11: The sheets because I think a ghost is watching me,

86
00:03:58,440 --> 00:03:59,840
Speaker 11: watching you from the corner.

87
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,640
Speaker 1: I'm just very Catholic that way.

88
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:02,040
Speaker 5: And so.

89
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,520
Speaker 4: I'm laying in bed watching like a fucking game show.

90
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,280
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't feel comfortable. It's like one thirty

91
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,160
Speaker 4: two o'clock in the morning. I turned the pillow over

92
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,680
Speaker 4: to get the cold side on the pillow.

93
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,440
Speaker 6: Sure, and a fucking.

94
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,800
Speaker 1: Dear tick crawled out.

95
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:22,840
Speaker 4: No, stop, bitch, why that up so quick? And you

96
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,279
Speaker 4: know what I said in that moment, Oh no you didn't.

97
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,839
Speaker 4: I was like Octavia Spencer in every movie.

98
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,359
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh no you didn't.

99
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,560
Speaker 1: You like, That's how I got.

100
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,040
Speaker 7: The fish.

101
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 4: You fuck the fish I get every time you can't

102
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,320
Speaker 4: be late for work, fucking fish every time.

103
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,279
Speaker 2: It's hard to know, though, because sometimes the tick could

104
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:46,599
Speaker 2: be a dog.

105
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 4: I think talking about fucking fish, it's hard.

106
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 9: To know when you fish.

107
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:58,000
Speaker 4: Trust me, ladies, Am I right, fellas?

108
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 2: I just I was just saying to distinguish between the

109
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,080
Speaker 2: deer tick in and a dog to oh my.

110
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,080
Speaker 1: God, yes, Neil, de grass tights and let's do it.

111
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,400
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, you might have been you might have been,

112
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,039
Speaker 2: you know, you know, mistaken. It could have been a

113
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,880
Speaker 2: dog tick and not a deer tick exactly. A deer

114
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,080
Speaker 2: tick is worse because you can get lime disease a

115
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:27,080
Speaker 2: dog tick. You cannot get lime disease from okay, goodbye.

116
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,400
Speaker 3: You can get a dog from dog ticks, all right?

117
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:28,920
Speaker 3: I got.

118
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,800
Speaker 4: I took video of a said tick okay, and I

119
00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,200
Speaker 4: sent video to a bunch of people, including my mom,

120
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,000
Speaker 4: who just learned what Google was, and so we learned

121
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,599
Speaker 4: that it was a deer tick because of the back legs,

122
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,920
Speaker 4: and so because it was an old ass spend and breakfast,

123
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,520
Speaker 4: nobody was at the front desk, and I was like,

124
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 4: what this.

125
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,279
Speaker 1: Feels like a setup?

126
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,440
Speaker 7: Was anybody in the hotel.

127
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:55,159
Speaker 4: But you, I don't know, it was haunted, right, So

128
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 4: I got my stuff and I just left and I

129
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Speaker 4: went to the sleep Quality Inn.

130
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,520
Speaker 3: We were just in there.

131
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,960
Speaker 1: Baby, Do you and your wife like leaving the house?

132
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,560
Speaker 3: We don't like leaving the house.

133
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,600
Speaker 4: You guys would I feel like you guys would never

134
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,960
Speaker 4: leave because you live in Bay Ridge.

135
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 3: Okay, first of all, why don't you just out.

136
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,640
Speaker 6: Dinner a super cool looking group of people.

137
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,359
Speaker 1: Do you and your wife go out dancing?

138
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,960
Speaker 7: Do we go out dancing?

139
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

140
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,400
Speaker 7: What is it nineteen forty three? No, we don't go

141
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,920
Speaker 7: out to clubs. And we used to.

142
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 3: I mean we used to do that.

143
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:29,960
Speaker 2: We used to go to clubs back in the day,

144
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,479
Speaker 2: back when we were like in our twenties.

145
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,599
Speaker 1: We had them good knees.

146
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, we had those good knees.

147
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,680
Speaker 2: You know, I don't even know if people go out

148
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,200
Speaker 2: like club and I love Dan.

149
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,719
Speaker 4: I just do a disco like fucking swirl in my

150
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 4: Famimi room.

151
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like Alexa, play me gos stir fry right,

152
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 2: I'm in the kitchen and it's like, yeah, that's right,

153
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,960
Speaker 2: that's right.

154
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,520
Speaker 4: And my husband is from Holland and when we were

155
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,120
Speaker 4: like my husband and I were long distance dating New

156
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,000
Speaker 4: York City to Amsterdam, which is just a great one

157
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,600
Speaker 4: night stand that worked out. I took him out because

158
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,559
Speaker 4: I used to I used to do my mom's from Jamaica,

159
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:09,680
Speaker 4: and I.

160
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,240
Speaker 1: Used to do a lot of reggae dance like that

161
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,800
Speaker 1: was my thing. And so I brought my fan.

162
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,040
Speaker 4: Boyfriend's cute, little white European dude and it was his

163
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,600
Speaker 4: first time at this reggae joint and it was his birthday.

164
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:29,560
Speaker 1: And the bouncer is like nice and you know, nice

165
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 1: for a bouncer, and I never forget. Christ was just

166
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,920
Speaker 1: like it's my birthday.

167
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,760
Speaker 4: I was like, it's his birthday and he's like awesome,

168
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,040
Speaker 4: and then bouncer puts his hands out for him to

169
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 4: like search him, and then heist goes in for a hug.

170
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 4: He's like, thank you man, Oh, I love America.

171
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,920
Speaker 3: Oh what to do?

172
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,600
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, happy birthday.

173
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:52,320
Speaker 3: I don't know.

174
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,920
Speaker 1: And we haven't been out since.

175
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,360
Speaker 6: Welcome back to what Delton. Everybody.

176
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:25,360
Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm exciting to bring this motherfucker to the stage.

177
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,320
Speaker 1: He's so fucking dope. He's on the show before, but

178
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,720
Speaker 1: now he's doing it as a podcast.

179
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:34,280
Speaker 4: Guy Code a bunch of failed pilots.

180
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 6: He's got his own.

181
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,600
Speaker 7: He got his own Baptiste.

182
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,720
Speaker 2: Special called Size three The Eight Ways from Christmas Stefan.

183
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:51,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Wow, it's true.

184
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,600
Speaker 3: Chrissy, Chrissy wanting done, Chrissy pilot. What are you gonna do?

185
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:56,960
Speaker 3: I'm a failure?

186
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:57,559
Speaker 5: Got it?

187
00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,880
Speaker 3: Listen, we try. You know it doesn't work.

188
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,360
Speaker 7: You're doing great, buddy.

189
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,360
Speaker 1: You grew up in Brooklyn.

190
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,760
Speaker 5: I did not far from here. I like you guys

191
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,800
Speaker 5: have done with the place. It's changed a lot, but

192
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,560
Speaker 5: it's nice though.

193
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,240
Speaker 3: I like it.

194
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 5: You know, look at friendly people. You know, nobody has

195
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,600
Speaker 5: a gun.

196
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 3: It's nice. Nobody's you know, nobody went to jail. Anybody

197
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:23,760
Speaker 3: go to jail. Nice different Brooklyn. If this was the like,

198
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 3: yeah you just got out.

199
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,079
Speaker 2: You know, look, nice people. This crowd is like mass

200
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:33,720
Speaker 2: incoceration must stop. Yeah, yeah immediately. Now it's smart.

201
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,079
Speaker 7: Now give me my ex florentine.

202
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're supposed to eat florentine. I know, ordained said,

203
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,920
Speaker 3: I don't know, yeh, but germs make you strong.

204
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,800
Speaker 5: No, I guess. I guess. I get sick a lot.

205
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,439
Speaker 5: I have in ear infection, so I don't know. Yeah,

206
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,640
Speaker 5: I'm like three years old, but I've always come in

207
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,040
Speaker 5: with the most ridiculous ship to my doctor.

208
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,719
Speaker 4: That's okay, buddy, you gotta put a roxide on a

209
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:02,840
Speaker 4: Q tip and put in your ear.

210
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,360
Speaker 3: Some people insane. I'm just gonna do antibiotics, but I

211
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,040
Speaker 3: appreciate it.

212
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:12,000
Speaker 5: People have been like boiling onion, fucking put the water

213
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,800
Speaker 5: in the you know, blessed, speaking your intentions into the onion.

214
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,439
Speaker 5: It's like, I'm just gonna go standard anti beats.

215
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,560
Speaker 3: And we'll see what happens. Let's just do that.

216
00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 2: You know what's so funny about Q tips on the

217
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,520
Speaker 2: side of the box and says do not put these

218
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:30,440
Speaker 2: in your ears. Yeah, people just stay put it immediately, boom,

219
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:31,360
Speaker 2: You're done.

220
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,880
Speaker 7: Fuck you Q tip.

221
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:33,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

222
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,319
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, speaking of jail, it's fucking nuts

223
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,439
Speaker 1: that your dad was in jail.

224
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,000
Speaker 3: It was nuts that he was in jail.

225
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was in jail for uh, you know, I

226
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,880
Speaker 5: mean he was uh, I don't know what he was doing.

227
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,040
Speaker 5: It really was mostly before I was born, truly, Like

228
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,319
Speaker 5: he was in jail once for like three months when

229
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 5: I was like eight, But the biggest time he did

230
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,880
Speaker 5: was before they met at a walkathon. My parents. My

231
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,560
Speaker 5: that's true. My mom is was like in Colombia, like

232
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 5: grad school. Like my mother is like an Ivy League student,

233
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,840
Speaker 5: and my dad's name is Tony Balls.

234
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,360
Speaker 3: I swear to god, you'd be like that.

235
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:15,920
Speaker 5: Balls is zh like an Ivy League woman that you know.

236
00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, And my dad was doing like had just got

237
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,000
Speaker 3: out of you.

238
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 5: He was doing like comedy service like halfway house, picking

239
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 5: up garbage on the side of the water, and my

240
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,480
Speaker 5: mother was walking in the walkathon and he flirted with

241
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,160
Speaker 5: my mom with the fucking garbage pick.

242
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,400
Speaker 3: Up things, thought you and talks with this guy.

243
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,360
Speaker 2: I swear to God that the Upper West is a

244
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,280
Speaker 2: different place back in the day it was.

245
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,040
Speaker 1: It was a different place I would love to see.

246
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:46,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I had the pilot so didn't go as

247
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:51,440
Speaker 5: you mentioned, Thank you, CBS, Comedy Central, MTV. It's all

248
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,520
Speaker 5: just looking any local fucking toilet. You can find any

249
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,400
Speaker 5: pilot I've ever done.

250
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 2: But you are you're also a dad I am, and

251
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,800
Speaker 2: you're also a co parent.

252
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 3: I am a co parent. How do you like to

253
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:03,959
Speaker 3: a child of diversity?

254
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:05,680
Speaker 9: Half Puerto Rican? So go me?

255
00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:08,480
Speaker 5: Absolutely, you thought I was just gonna be a white,

256
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,120
Speaker 5: evil piece of shit, but no, I'm one of the good,

257
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:12,959
Speaker 5: straight white males.

258
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,880
Speaker 4: Yay, So did your parents teach you how to co parent?

259
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,320
Speaker 3: My parents actually did teach me how to co parent.

260
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,880
Speaker 3: You know. It's uh. I will say that.

261
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,400
Speaker 5: My although it was one of those things like my

262
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:30,680
Speaker 5: mother fucking hated my father, but they I never really

263
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 5: found that out until I was old enough to like

264
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,480
Speaker 5: just understand two adults, because my dad would be white

265
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,640
Speaker 5: knuckling the steering wheel driving back to Staten Island. But

266
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,920
Speaker 5: like I, he never said a bad word about my mom.

267
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 5: So that's what I've learned. Like, I'll never put that

268
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,560
Speaker 5: energy around my kid, you know me and I just

269
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,280
Speaker 5: want my daughter to look at both of us like, oh,

270
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,320
Speaker 5: these are just two people that love me and love

271
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,280
Speaker 5: each other, but they're just not romantically involved.

272
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 9: That's what I saw.

273
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,120
Speaker 3: I just want them to have an easy life and

274
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 3: as easy as I.

275
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 9: Can make it.

276
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,840
Speaker 1: What happens when homegirls dating other men.

277
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,000
Speaker 3: I don't know that she is. I mean, she's she

278
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:04,720
Speaker 3: I don't know.

279
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,720
Speaker 5: I mean I feel like when she does start dating,

280
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,920
Speaker 5: I'll know because my daughter will tell me. My daughter

281
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,840
Speaker 5: just goes to big mouth and my dad's just like,

282
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 5: don't be a rat, you know, But my kid just

283
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,640
Speaker 5: she just regurgitates it.

284
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,160
Speaker 3: She's like, Mommy said this, and he's like, we gotta

285
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,840
Speaker 3: work on this. I swear that's like a fear of

286
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 3: my father.

287
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,360
Speaker 7: I know my kid, My kid is.

288
00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:24,719
Speaker 3: My kid's a big rat as well.

289
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,120
Speaker 2: She tells like I let her stay up till eight

290
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,520
Speaker 2: forty five, like watching My Little Pony. Yeah, the new

291
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:34,000
Speaker 2: ones are a little more empowering and uh and so

292
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,560
Speaker 2: like I was like, it's our secret. This is you

293
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,680
Speaker 2: and my and my time. Mommy's out with her friends

294
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,880
Speaker 2: and she's like, okay.

295
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,959
Speaker 7: She goes to bed. The next morning, she's like.

296
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 3: Mommy, you're gonna kill daddy.

297
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,600
Speaker 7: He let me stay up till eight forty five.

298
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,720
Speaker 3: I was like, what the fuck are you? Fucking stooly?

299
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 3: I get it, school pitch, Yeah, that's what it is.

300
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,400
Speaker 9: Man, It's terrible.

301
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:57,400
Speaker 4: I oh man, how why are you teaching your daughter?

302
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,440
Speaker 4: How do you raise a fucking independent straw woman?

303
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:03,240
Speaker 7: Have you met her?

304
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,160
Speaker 2: Have you seen his daughter, like she's done. It's already,

305
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:06,959
Speaker 2: the cake is baked.

306
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,959
Speaker 5: You know what it is like the women in my family,

307
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 5: like three women are firefighters.

308
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like a reality show. I know.

309
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,080
Speaker 5: My kid's mom is like just like a real deal

310
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,720
Speaker 5: old school like Brooklyn Puerto Rican girls. So it's like, yeah,

311
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,600
Speaker 5: the you know, the women there are like they're like

312
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 5: the strongest, most independent women.

313
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,320
Speaker 1: The old school, real deal Puerto Rican.

314
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 7: Here we go.

315
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,480
Speaker 5: So let me give you an example of like what

316
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,200
Speaker 5: like a real deal Puerto Rican girl would do. We

317
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,920
Speaker 5: were living at a building in Park Slope, which is

318
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,200
Speaker 5: like a you know, gentrified neighbor where we are now,

319
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 5: we're living in a building you remember.

320
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,320
Speaker 3: When we were neighbors in parks as well.

321
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,360
Speaker 5: So woman got on the elevator and my daughter was

322
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,040
Speaker 5: like ten months old. It's me and my daughter and

323
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 5: my kid's mom. My daughter had to pass a fire

324
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,760
Speaker 5: in she's a baby. This woman gets on you know,

325
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,760
Speaker 5: very like woke, fucking you know, like millennial woman like.

326
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,400
Speaker 3: Scarves, keen wha, you know, like just.

327
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 5: Hashtagging everything being like yeah, as a girl, Lisa, I'm

328
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 5: going in the food come up comes in, you know,

329
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 5: with her articles like because and she's not used people

330
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,960
Speaker 5: like that, Like they find their circles and everything is

331
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:09,840
Speaker 5: like yes they tweeted out.

332
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,360
Speaker 3: They're like yes, I agree with that.

333
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they live in there in their world, the

334
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 5: utopian thing, right, they live there.

335
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 3: My kid's mom, she's not like that. She's just like

336
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 3: I don't know.

337
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,400
Speaker 5: So the lady gets on and she's like ooh, she's like,

338
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:25,080
Speaker 5: how hold your baby? And I'm like I cut you know,

339
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 5: cause I know how my kids mom gets, I know.

340
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,560
Speaker 3: So I was like, she's ten months old, have a

341
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 3: great day.

342
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 9: That's it.

343
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:36,720
Speaker 5: I cut it off because I know, because I just know, Wow,

344
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 5: who this girl is.

345
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,440
Speaker 3: So I was like, she's ten months old, have a

346
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,760
Speaker 3: nice day, like, you know, trying.

347
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,920
Speaker 5: To be like whatever you're gonna say right now, you

348
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:47,640
Speaker 5: got three more floors, so just don't. But I tried

349
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,960
Speaker 5: to do that with you know, verbal, you know communication,

350
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:50,680
Speaker 5: you know, I don't want.

351
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 3: To say what i'd say. It did cues.

352
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 5: This lady doesn't get the cues, so read the fucking room.

353
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,040
Speaker 5: She's like, well she's like ten months old, she goes.

354
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,480
Speaker 5: I hate to break it to you. She was like,

355
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 5: we just I just read an article me and my

356
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,320
Speaker 5: partner just read an article. She was like, and babies

357
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,560
Speaker 5: are not supposed to be having pass fires after six months,

358
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,320
Speaker 5: so like you should try to wean her off it.

359
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 5: And my kid's mom hit the emergency brake on the elevator.

360
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,000
Speaker 3: That's what happened.

361
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 5: So that's now where it's stuck in between the third

362
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,280
Speaker 5: and second floors.

363
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 3: My kid's mom is like, what did your article say

364
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 3: that she fucking bronx tail this lag?

365
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 10: Yeah, just.

366
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 3: Then and that, you know, so that's who she is.

367
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 5: So I don't think my daughter's gonna have a problem

368
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 5: being a strong independent woman.

369
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,000
Speaker 7: You know, I'm I'm talking about.

370
00:16:41,960 --> 00:17:02,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, welcome back to adults.

371
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 3: Oh, how we're doing? How are we doing?

372
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:11,399
Speaker 7: Okay?

373
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 1: All right, you guys asked us questions about adulting. Are

374
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 1: we gonna answer them.

375
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 3: We're gonna answer them. Okay, do you like kickball?

376
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 2: I don't like kickball because when I was little, I

377
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 2: used to sprain my ankle.

378
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 7: Doing it all the time and I was thank you,

379
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 7: and they.

380
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 2: Don't be They'd always be like moving easy, yeah, easy. Yeah.

381
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 10: I was like, I'll show you.

382
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 3: And uh I never did.

383
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,160
Speaker 7: Uh is my bully here?

384
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,479
Speaker 1: You're really going through it?

385
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 2: I know.

386
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 7: Do you like kickball?

387
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 6: Are you okay?

388
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 9: No?

389
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, here we go.

390
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 2: A couple more questions from the audience about adulting.

391
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 3: Yes, no, that's not Nope.

392
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:52,679
Speaker 9: We're not doing now.

393
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,880
Speaker 4: This is very long. How many assholes have you meant

394
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 4: so far? And describe the worst one? Please, he's in

395
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 4: your own words.

396
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 1: Okay, hand him a lecture. Next question, how do you

397
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 1: keep plants alive?

398
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 3: Is this the person just asking?

399
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 2: There is a sociopath in the crowd and they are

400
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:21,920
Speaker 2: asking a lot of questions.

401
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, are you here?

402
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 7: How do you keep a plant alive?

403
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 3: I want to know?

404
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 7: We got too many plants were full?

405
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 6: Oh my god? All right, I'm so excited to bring our.

406
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 4: Last guest to the motherfucking stage. He is God damn powerhouse, powerhouse. Yes,

407
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,200
Speaker 4: I mean I could listen his credits, but we ain't

408
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,239
Speaker 4: got all my fucking night. And he's so great and

409
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 4: he's funny, and he's lovely, he's gracious, he's gracious.

410
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 5: Please give it up for Jim.

411
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 2: What's up man, Jim Yaffick and everybody, thank.

412
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,440
Speaker 9: You, thank you. I am that good lfe.

413
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 6: He's here.

414
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,640
Speaker 8: It is It is good to be thank you. Can

415
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 8: I say something about Chris. You know a lot of

416
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 8: you people don't realize he doesn't have a daughter. That

417
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 8: is all part of an act. Like backstage, he was like,

418
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 8: I can't believe they fell for it. He's not his

419
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 8: dad all that he's from Iowa.

420
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,719
Speaker 9: It is like all this charade. He's like these people.

421
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,880
Speaker 8: I go port news thing like that's wrong, and he goes,

422
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 8: do you do your whitebread thing?

423
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,919
Speaker 9: Anyway? He's not authentic.

424
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 3: He's not authentic.

425
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 7: You're a dad. Many times I am, I am how

426
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 7: many kids do you have?

427
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 8: I have five children in New York State, in New

428
00:19:54,680 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 8: York City, and I regret it completely. But it's not

429
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 8: like you can give them back. You can't do there's

430
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 8: no return policy.

431
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,919
Speaker 1: Really, did you always want to have a big family?

432
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 3: I know, I don't think I did.

433
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 8: I mean I when I was dating my wife, who

434
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 8: is from a large family, I'm one of six kids,

435
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 8: so I would jokingly say we're going to have six

436
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 8: kids and uh, and then we had five.

437
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 4: So so yeah, she's a boss ass bitch.

438
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 9: Yeah no, she's crazy.

439
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: I mean, she's like one of those women who get

440
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: it done.

441
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 8: And you'll notice it in my stand up. I never

442
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 8: say anything against her. I'm afraid of her. There's a

443
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,639
Speaker 8: you know, there's respect and that comes very close to fear.

444
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 9: But she is amazing.

445
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 4: What are your fears as a dad? Like the time

446
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 4: stifying but before they're born, and then after like what happened?

447
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 8: Well, I think the first, you know, I had gotten

448
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 8: to a point where I was like, all right, I

449
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 8: think I can do this. But I was afraid of

450
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 8: my selfishness. Honestly, you know, that's the thing I was

451
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 8: most afraid of. And then I also, you know, when

452
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 8: there were like five of them, I was just like,

453
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 8: you know, it almost was easier with five. I was like,

454
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 8: all right, I kind of I'm gonna suck at this,

455
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 8: so let's spread it around.

456
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 9: But like, it is.

457
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 8: Aund I mean, I guess I'm not supposed to be honest, but.

458
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 9: No, it is.

459
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 8: It is one of those things where it's terrifying. I mean,

460
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 8: you try your best, but I think the expectation is

461
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 8: you're not going to get an a as a parent.

462
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,399
Speaker 4: And also nobody talks about the dynamic between you and

463
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 4: your partner that changes when you have children.

464
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 9: It is no joke.

465
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 1: It's no fucking joke.

466
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 8: It is Yeah, I mean my wife and I used

467
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 8: to sit around drink wine.

468
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

469
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 7: Now you can drink wine if you want, right, not really.

470
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 8: But here's the thing that you're gonna notice is that

471
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,679
Speaker 8: I mean, and and some of this is meant in humor,

472
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 8: but like as they get older, they don't go to sleep, right. So,

473
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 8: like I have a fourteen year old and you're like,

474
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 8: why don't you go to sleep? And they're like no,

475
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 8: and you're like all right, and then we you know

476
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 8: what I mean, So like your baby, You're like, all right,

477
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,239
Speaker 8: let's let's stick the baby in the other room so

478
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 8: we can make love. Then it's just like I don't

479
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 8: know how we're gonna do this, you know what I mean.

480
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 8: We're locking doors, you know what I mean? Are you

481
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 8: gonna lock the door and then we can't fall asleep.

482
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 8: We've gotta unlock it before we fall asleep.

483
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

484
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 8: But it's I mean, these are good problems. These are

485
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 8: great problems to happen. Michelle looks so terrified.

486
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 4: Legit terrified. What was it like, were you know Jenny's

487
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 4: social before like going out to dinner with like friends or.

488
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 7: You want to know if you'll ever go to dinner again?

489
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,719
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's I think there's stuff. How

490
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 8: old are your kids?

491
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 7: My kids are six and two.

492
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, so like, look, it's a juggling it's juggling life.

493
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

494
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 4: Why do we feel like because we care about our

495
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 4: career that we're selfish.

496
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 9: I think it's I think it's a balancing act.

497
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 8: I think we figure out things and then it's, like

498
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,479
Speaker 8: any other boundary, we have to relearn that boundary over

499
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 8: the course of life. Because I think people in entertainment

500
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 8: were fools. We are essentially fools. We It's always that

501
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 8: scene in The Wizard Oz where you look behind the

502
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 8: curtain and you're like, oh, you know what I mean?

503
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 8: And it's every every stage of the entertainment industry.

504
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 9: Is that That is.

505
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 4: A story that I wish I had twenty five years ago.

506
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 8: No, it's like think about it every you know, like

507
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 8: as comedians were like the Montreal Comedy Festival, it will

508
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 8: change my life.

509
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 9: And you get up there and you're like, what, yeah,

510
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 9: I love how I love the Montreal Comedy Festival. But

511
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,400
Speaker 9: I had this. I did Letterman.

512
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 8: I got off stage and I was like, is there

513
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 8: a room you're gonna put me in with Tom Cruise

514
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 8: or something like it's this mythology that we create. Right,

515
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,919
Speaker 8: So I think that I think that parenting is also

516
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 8: about re establishing those boundaries, like finding a balance between

517
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 8: career and work. Because also I think it's important for

518
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 8: you to have a healthy creative life.

519
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 9: That makes you a better parent.

520
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't if you can be an inspiration from them.

521
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 8: Absolutely, But I think you also get to the point

522
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 8: where you realize you have no control over that, like

523
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 8: nature versus nurture.

524
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 9: It's like there is some of that.

525
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 7: There's nothing, there's nothing you can do after very and.

526
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 8: So so I don't know what do you know what

527
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 8: made you who you are today?

528
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 3: Yes?

529
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 9: I know what what did? What made a.

530
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 3: Lot of mother, my mother, my father? Uh?

531
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,719
Speaker 7: Improv comedy made me?

532
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 3: Who am right?

533
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 9: Uc B.

534
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 3: May polar never at the.

535
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 9: Well.

536
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 8: I have a theory that like, look, it's you know,

537
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 8: it's all comedians have this kind of duality. Uh, there's

538
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 8: there's who the comedian is, who they want to be.

539
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 9: It's like it's it's it's what we projected out. So

540
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 9: like you soul, it's so do you know what I mean?

541
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 8: And it's like, I mean I also am like a

542
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 8: guy who essentially just wanted an adjective before pale.

543
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 9: That's what I wanted.

544
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 8: That's all I wanted in life was funny, pale person.

545
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 8: That's all I wanted, was like, really white? Can we

546
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 8: just put funny in front of really white? That's all

547
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 8: I wanted. And I think most comedians are like that.

548
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,360
Speaker 4: What is the most yah, what is the most adult

549
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 4: thing you would love your children to do in like

550
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 4: the next year?

551
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 2: Oh, do they take care of each other?

552
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 3: That's a question.

553
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's that's an interesting thing. I don't know adult thing.

554
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 8: It just varies because like there's moments where you're like

555
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 8: we're killing it, We're doing great, and then.

556
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 9: You're like, they're all gonna be homeless, you know what

557
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 9: I mean.

558
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 7: It's like between homes.

559
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 8: But as a parent, when you do want them, like,

560
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 8: I feel like so much of parenting if you have

561
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 8: more than one child is like, I want you guys

562
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 8: to like each other when I'm dead. It's a very

563
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 8: strange and I remember seeing my mom do that too, Kyl.

564
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 9: You guys just hang around each other after I'm down.

565
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: I watch Lifetime.

566
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 3: I get it.

567
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm the.

568
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 1: Only child who I don't.

569
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 8: Know what adult thing I want them to do because

570
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,719
Speaker 8: they're they're six to fourteen, so there they are different

571
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 8: stages and and so it's like the only family game

572
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 8: we can do is charades, and they're all.

573
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 3: That at it.

574
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 8: Adults is where you guys find out I can't read. Okay,

575
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 8: is agreeing to disagree?

576
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 9: Adult?

577
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 3: Is agreed to disagree?

578
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 7: Adult?

579
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: Is that adults?

580
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 7: I think so.

581
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 4: I mean that's like you know how people are like,

582
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 4: don't go to bed angry. That's what you do, That's

583
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 4: what you gotta do.

584
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 2: Agreeing to disagree is like the hardest thing to do

585
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 2: because you're both angry.

586
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 7: At the end, you're like, okay, yeah, back away, slows.

587
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: Are there two questions there?

588
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 8: Yes, there's another one. How did you become so talented?

589
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 8: That's not even the question.

590
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 9: I just know that is.

591
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 5: That is?

592
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 8: That is the question. But there's a lot of stuff

593
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 8: scribbled at top there.

594
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: We get that, We get that, Oh that's the main question.

595
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 5: I don't know.

596
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 4: I think confidence and believing in yourself, which is also confidence.

597
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 9: I think a level of insanity.

598
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 8: Because repeatedly doing something and expecting a different result, it's

599
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 8: insanity because there's a long time we did this where

600
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 8: people looked at you like.

601
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 9: You're crazy, and we're like, I'm going to do it again?

602
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 3: Too true?

603
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 9: Oh this is a long one.

604
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 8: First reaction you had when you woke up next to

605
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 8: someone you don't remember taking home home?

606
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 9: Yeah, you wrote this.

607
00:28:58,560 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 4: Too due, all.

608
00:28:59,400 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 9: Right, no.

609
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 3: Home home.

610
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 8: First reaction you had when you woke up next to

611
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 8: someone you don't remember taking home?

612
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 9: How often does that happen?

613
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 3: I don't, I don't know.

614
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 7: I mean for this free wheeling Brooklyn crowd.

615
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 9: My wife was the first woman I ever kissed.

616
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 2: Oh really, no, are like he's that white?

617
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 3: It was under the holy ship he is Christian? Oh

618
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: my god, I bought it.

619
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 9: That's what Midwesterners are really like.

620
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 3: I thought it was under a street lamp.

621
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 2: My god, first time I ever brought somebody home that

622
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: it didn't know that.

623
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 7: It's never happened, believe it or not.

624
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 4: I've always been like, I've been watching you sleep the

625
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 4: whole night.

626
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 6: I made you eggs.

627
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 7: I made egg whites, and they made the regular eggs.

628
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 7: I didn't know what you want.

629
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 6: Please don't leave.

630
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 9: Doors lock.

631
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: I can't.

632
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 6: I don't know.

633
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 4: That never happened to me because I'm always like, let

634
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 4: me see your ID and I take a picture.

635
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: Nice whatever.

636
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 6: I've seen law and order.

637
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: Don't know how that shouldn't got a question?

638
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 7: All right?

639
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 3: The question is what should I name the baby?

640
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 9: Oh?

641
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: Which? What are people?

642
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 6: Your food?

643
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: Hum?

644
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: Okay, okay?

645
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 6: Next?

646
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 3: Who did? I don't want to?

647
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 7: I think Jordan is a strong name.

648
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 3: Uh.

649
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 7: I think you know. What I think is a good

650
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 7: name is uh?

651
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 9: What is it?

652
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: It's it's a Linux. I think Linux is a cool name.

653
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 3: I think you're.

654
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 9: Saying, ok you.

655
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 3: Ah, But no one I don't like a cat dying.

656
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 8: No one ever agrees on names, no one ever, because

657
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 8: they're all made up.

658
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 9: Like sometimes people go, oh, that name, it's made up.

659
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 8: All names are they were like a set of names

660
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 8: that came with humans.

661
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like.

662
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 9: They're all made up.

663
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: It's true.

664
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 4: And I hate when like people ask you what are

665
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 4: the names and then you see and you're just like Lisa,

666
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 4: and they're like, oh, I knew Lisa.

667
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: She was a fucking whore. It's like.

668
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 9: That sound effectual. Never get bored.

669
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 6: What's the next question? I hope it's not about a

670
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 6: baby name.

671
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 3: Is it racist to quit smoking blunts?

672
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 7: Jim I wrote that.

673
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 8: I know what's struggling with this a lot?

674
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: What what what how much anxiety is this person?

675
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: Oh?

676
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 7: I love it.

677
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 3: I met the person with more anxiety than me.

678
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 7: Like if I quick this ship? Am I really a

679
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 7: black man?

680
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: All right?

681
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 9: Okay? What do you do with the void?

682
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 3: The void?

683
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 9: The void?

684
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: The void?

685
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 8: By the way, if you wrote this, your handwriting is terrified.

686
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's probably not that these are brainbusters.

687
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 9: What is this is like my handwriting? Actually the void?

688
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 8: It looks like two different people wrote this. Someone and

689
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 8: then someone stuck a gun to their head.

690
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 3: Void?

691
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 9: What do you do with the void?

692
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: Is Satan out there?

693
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 9: What is going on?

694
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 6: Are you okay? Are you like stuck an inceptions?

695
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 9: You love these questions, these questions.

696
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 7: These questions are from the dark side of the street.

697
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 7: These are questions answer.

698
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 3: That's the last lesson.

699
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 7: What do you do when you have concer.

700
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 6: Let's says?

701
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 9: Do you enjoy? Regret it?

702
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 7: You know what? I want to thank death for coming tonight.

703
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 4: Honest you guys, thank you for coming to show.

704
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 7: Guys, are seriously DJ gone will? This was such a

705
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 7: fun show.

706
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 2: We had Christian Stephano and Jim Gaffigan, both really fun dads,

707
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: join us to share their stories and answer our questions.

708
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: They were so good.

709
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 4: I mean, you think you know everything and you don't.

710
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: You know.

711
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 4: I learned a lot of things about ticks and why

712
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 4: Jordan hates kickball.

713
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's just leave it at The Adulting was produced

714
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: by Blakeney Schick and O'delia Rubin. The Adulting team includes

715
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 2: Joanna Solatarov, Paula Schumann, Joe Floord ed Haber, and Irene Trudeau.

716
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 2: The live show is produced by Christian Banda. Our theme

717
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 2: music is by Isaac Jones, with additional music by Don Will.

718
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 4: Did you guys love this episode as much as I did?

719
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 4: Because it's very important that you rate us great? Is

720
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 4: my favorite four letter work. Can you guys write a review?

721
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 4: I mean, I love you so much if you do,

722
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 4: gold Star for everybody.

723
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 2: Okay, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Don't miss out

724
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,919
Speaker 2: on our next episode.

725
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: Guys, don't forget there's fleshable wife.

726
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 4: Nobody should have a dirty booty yum