1 00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:22,476 Speaker 1: Pushkin. A lot I want to talk to you about 2 00:00:22,476 --> 00:00:27,916 Speaker 1: tonight is why positive thinkers get positive results, and they 3 00:00:27,956 --> 00:00:32,876 Speaker 1: do too, that's for sure. Pastor Norman Vincent Peale officiated 4 00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:36,196 Speaker 1: Donald Trump's first marriage, but that's not his biggest claim 5 00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:41,356 Speaker 1: to fame. Take charge of your thoughts. You can do 6 00:00:41,796 --> 00:00:45,556 Speaker 1: what your will. Peel is famous for his nineteen fifty 7 00:00:45,596 --> 00:00:48,916 Speaker 1: two books The Power of Positive Thinking. Peel was one 8 00:00:48,956 --> 00:00:51,636 Speaker 1: of the first to argue for the power of positive thought, 9 00:00:52,196 --> 00:00:54,516 Speaker 1: the idea that if you get rid of your negativity 10 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,276 Speaker 1: and crush all your worries about the obstacles in your path, 11 00:00:57,716 --> 00:00:59,876 Speaker 1: then things will work out just the way you hope 12 00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:03,916 Speaker 1: they would. The concept was simple and really appealing. Simply 13 00:01:04,036 --> 00:01:07,036 Speaker 1: visualize a great job or the perfect marriage, and it'll happen. 14 00:01:07,916 --> 00:01:12,756 Speaker 1: You think positively in order to send out positive emanations 15 00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:19,956 Speaker 1: to reproduce themselves in kind in positive results. But Peele says, 16 00:01:20,276 --> 00:01:22,316 Speaker 1: if you think about the pitfalls you could meet along 17 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:26,516 Speaker 1: the way, then they'll appear. You'll be punished for your pessimism. 18 00:01:26,676 --> 00:01:33,956 Speaker 1: You can destroy yourself or you can create yourself by 19 00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:39,036 Speaker 1: the manner and quality of your thoughts. Peele's idea that 20 00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:41,436 Speaker 1: the path to happiness was in our heads took a 21 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:46,156 Speaker 1: troubled postwar American public by storm. The Power of Positive 22 00:01:46,196 --> 00:01:48,796 Speaker 1: Thinking remained on the best seller list for one hundred 23 00:01:48,836 --> 00:01:53,076 Speaker 1: and eighty six weeks and was translated into fifteen different languages. 24 00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:58,356 Speaker 1: And on this basis and by this method, positive thinkers 25 00:01:59,356 --> 00:02:10,956 Speaker 1: always get positive results. But the notion that negative thinking 26 00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:13,516 Speaker 1: could bring you down didn't end in the nineteen fifties. 27 00:02:14,276 --> 00:02:17,716 Speaker 1: That same punished for pessimism idea continues in the rhetoric 28 00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:21,796 Speaker 1: of self help gurus. Today. Everything we think and feel 29 00:02:21,956 --> 00:02:25,516 Speaker 1: is creating our future, so wrote Rhnda Burne in her 30 00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:28,756 Speaker 1: two thousand and six book The Secret. She argued that 31 00:02:28,836 --> 00:02:32,156 Speaker 1: the power of positive thought was a basic physical law 32 00:02:32,196 --> 00:02:36,316 Speaker 1: of the universe. Her theory became a favorite subject on 33 00:02:36,436 --> 00:02:40,396 Speaker 1: daytime talk shows and most importantly, won the Oprah Seal 34 00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:42,996 Speaker 1: of approval. All of my guests today say they have 35 00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:47,356 Speaker 1: uncovered the secret to bringing love, to bringing happiness, even 36 00:02:47,556 --> 00:02:51,276 Speaker 1: wealth into anybody's life. The secret is the law of attraction. 37 00:02:51,596 --> 00:02:53,756 Speaker 1: It means that the energy you put out into the 38 00:02:53,796 --> 00:02:56,716 Speaker 1: world is always going to be coming back to you. 39 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,356 Speaker 1: Think good things, and good things will come drawn to 40 00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:03,876 Speaker 1: you like a magnet. But as Burne warned. If you're 41 00:03:03,876 --> 00:03:06,556 Speaker 1: worried or in fear, then you're bringing more of that 42 00:03:06,756 --> 00:03:11,476 Speaker 1: into your life too, Even if you don't fully subscribe 43 00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:13,876 Speaker 1: to the law of attraction. I bet you agree that 44 00:03:13,956 --> 00:03:17,476 Speaker 1: thinking positively is probably a good thing. Human thought may 45 00:03:17,516 --> 00:03:20,236 Speaker 1: not work like a magnet, but a little optimism is 46 00:03:20,276 --> 00:03:23,876 Speaker 1: presumably still useful for meeting our goals. And it seems 47 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:26,636 Speaker 1: obvious that too much negative thinking could bring us down. 48 00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:30,116 Speaker 1: But is that really the case. Does envisioning a positive 49 00:03:30,156 --> 00:03:33,036 Speaker 1: future actually help it come about? And is it helping 50 00:03:33,036 --> 00:03:41,516 Speaker 1: our happiness in the way we think our minds are 51 00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:43,996 Speaker 1: constantly telling us what to do to be happy. But 52 00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:46,556 Speaker 1: what if our minds are wrong? What if our minds 53 00:03:46,556 --> 00:03:49,276 Speaker 1: are lying to us, leading us away from what will 54 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:53,156 Speaker 1: really make us happy? The good dues is that understanding 55 00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:55,356 Speaker 1: the science of the mind can point us all back 56 00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:59,236 Speaker 1: in the right direction. You're listening to the Happiness Lab 57 00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:07,956 Speaker 1: with doctor Laurie Santois his world records in swimming. I 58 00:04:08,076 --> 00:04:10,716 Speaker 1: think it's forty eight, keep losing track of it. It's 59 00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:14,196 Speaker 1: forty something world records. I think the next postest person 60 00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:18,516 Speaker 1: is twenty something. You know he's just obliterated the record books. 61 00:04:19,036 --> 00:04:21,836 Speaker 1: This is Bob Bowman, the man who coached swimmer Michael 62 00:04:21,836 --> 00:04:26,716 Speaker 1: Phelps to twenty three Olympic gold medals. Twenty freaking three. 63 00:04:26,836 --> 00:04:30,596 Speaker 1: I think the next closest person is nine, and that's 64 00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:35,676 Speaker 1: Mark Spitz, right, and Lassie Varon and Carl Lewis. Bob 65 00:04:35,756 --> 00:04:39,196 Speaker 1: was the first person to spot Michael's immense potential. He 66 00:04:39,276 --> 00:04:41,596 Speaker 1: knew it the instant the fifth grader entered the water 67 00:04:41,836 --> 00:04:44,996 Speaker 1: his Baltimore Swim club, Michael stood out. He was heading 68 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,596 Speaker 1: shoulders above the rest of the group. Then I went 69 00:04:47,596 --> 00:04:49,636 Speaker 1: home and I could not sleep that night because I 70 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:52,756 Speaker 1: was like, Wow, this kid is something, and I better 71 00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,796 Speaker 1: step up my game because he's way ahead of me 72 00:04:54,956 --> 00:04:57,916 Speaker 1: right now. As the youngest pupil at bobs swimming practice, 73 00:04:58,116 --> 00:04:59,996 Speaker 1: eleven year old Michael would be placed at the back 74 00:05:00,036 --> 00:05:02,716 Speaker 1: of the group, behind boys three and four years older 75 00:05:02,756 --> 00:05:05,396 Speaker 1: than him as everyone set off for their daily laps. 76 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:08,196 Speaker 1: And I remember by the end of it, he had 77 00:05:08,236 --> 00:05:11,516 Speaker 1: worked his way last to first and was swimming times 78 00:05:11,556 --> 00:05:14,276 Speaker 1: that no eleven year old and swimming practice, And the 79 00:05:14,316 --> 00:05:17,316 Speaker 1: first thing I remember doing was like, don't act like 80 00:05:17,356 --> 00:05:19,756 Speaker 1: you're excited, just act like it's normal. I was like, Okay, 81 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:23,356 Speaker 1: nice job. See tomorrow. Even in those first practice sessions, 82 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:26,076 Speaker 1: Bob could see that Michael was a very raw talent. 83 00:05:26,436 --> 00:05:30,036 Speaker 1: What I saw was someone who had rather undisciplined strokes, 84 00:05:30,356 --> 00:05:32,476 Speaker 1: so he wasn't very efficient. He just used a lot 85 00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:36,996 Speaker 1: of energy. He had an incredible mental capacity to want 86 00:05:36,996 --> 00:05:41,556 Speaker 1: to compete, to give his best effort when it was needed, 87 00:05:41,996 --> 00:05:44,516 Speaker 1: but in practice he was very sloppy and sometimes he 88 00:05:44,516 --> 00:05:48,196 Speaker 1: wouldn't pay attention to things. Michael was particularly resistant to 89 00:05:48,236 --> 00:05:51,036 Speaker 1: altering his front crawl rhythm to adopt the so called 90 00:05:51,156 --> 00:05:53,556 Speaker 1: six beat kick, which means you're going to take six 91 00:05:53,676 --> 00:05:57,476 Speaker 1: kicks for every two arm strokes. This is a critical thing. 92 00:05:57,676 --> 00:06:00,516 Speaker 1: Michael only took two, so he just moved his arms 93 00:06:00,516 --> 00:06:04,596 Speaker 1: like a madman and didn't kick at all, and doing that, 94 00:06:04,676 --> 00:06:08,116 Speaker 1: he was the fastest eleven year old in America. Nevertheless, 95 00:06:08,356 --> 00:06:11,036 Speaker 1: Bob wanted to fix this stroke problem, but it meant 96 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:13,956 Speaker 1: engaging the young Phelps in a battle of wills. If 97 00:06:13,996 --> 00:06:16,636 Speaker 1: Michael stuck to the six beat kick, all was well. 98 00:06:16,956 --> 00:06:19,156 Speaker 1: But if he fell back into his bad habit, he 99 00:06:19,236 --> 00:06:21,716 Speaker 1: got pulled out of the pool. So the first practice 100 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,556 Speaker 1: he made it about five minutes before he didn't do it, 101 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:29,196 Speaker 1: and I kicked him out of practice next day about 102 00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:34,276 Speaker 1: twenty minutes, kicked out the next day about forty made 103 00:06:34,276 --> 00:06:37,276 Speaker 1: it an hour on about the fourth day, but after 104 00:06:37,316 --> 00:06:40,156 Speaker 1: that he never had to go back, right. That's what 105 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:44,436 Speaker 1: made Michael Michael Phels. But Michael's physical training could only 106 00:06:44,476 --> 00:06:46,956 Speaker 1: take him so far. To get to the next level, 107 00:06:47,236 --> 00:06:50,956 Speaker 1: Bob had to introduce his pupil to mental training. Oh, 108 00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:53,556 Speaker 1: you have to have the software and the hardware, right. 109 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:58,756 Speaker 1: Nobody just gets a Mac with nothing on it. Yeah, 110 00:06:58,796 --> 00:07:00,836 Speaker 1: so you have to work on the software too, and 111 00:07:00,876 --> 00:07:03,516 Speaker 1: you have to constantly be upgrading it. And that's where 112 00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:05,956 Speaker 1: I think the mental training comes in. It just makes 113 00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:09,756 Speaker 1: everything you do more meaningful. When Bob talks about mental training, 114 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,076 Speaker 1: he sounds a little like a positive thinking guru. One 115 00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,956 Speaker 1: thing you need to have is what I call your 116 00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:17,916 Speaker 1: dream goal, your vision, right, And I said, you know, Michael, 117 00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:21,396 Speaker 1: what's your dream goal? Think about it? And he would 118 00:07:21,396 --> 00:07:24,316 Speaker 1: always say swim in the Olympics. But Michael didn't just 119 00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:27,316 Speaker 1: want Olympic glory. He developed a list of goals for 120 00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:30,076 Speaker 1: his career, a list of goals for the year, and 121 00:07:30,236 --> 00:07:32,636 Speaker 1: even goals for his next training session. And I had 122 00:07:32,716 --> 00:07:35,356 Speaker 1: him put it on his refrigerator because that's where he 123 00:07:35,396 --> 00:07:36,916 Speaker 1: went most of the time. Right, he'd see it one 124 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,756 Speaker 1: hundred times a day. He was eating NonStop. At this time, 125 00:07:39,956 --> 00:07:42,396 Speaker 1: Michael had to focus on meeting all these goals during 126 00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:45,436 Speaker 1: swim practice, which took a lot of hard work. You know, 127 00:07:45,516 --> 00:07:48,076 Speaker 1: one of the things that by swimmers hate hearing me 128 00:07:48,196 --> 00:07:52,436 Speaker 1: say is, you know it takes what it takes. You 129 00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:54,116 Speaker 1: can't you don't get to make up what it takes. 130 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:55,956 Speaker 1: This is what it takes. So you can either do 131 00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:58,196 Speaker 1: it or not, but realize this is what it's going 132 00:07:58,236 --> 00:08:01,836 Speaker 1: to take. Bob also taught Michael a very advanced form 133 00:08:01,876 --> 00:08:05,956 Speaker 1: of mental training, the art of visualization. Competing for a 134 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:10,396 Speaker 1: gold medal. In his mind, let's see yourself swimming the 135 00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:14,036 Speaker 1: race and the time that you want to swim. See 136 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,516 Speaker 1: yourself swimming at the tempo. You know, make it as 137 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,956 Speaker 1: vivid as you can smell the chlorine. You know what 138 00:08:18,996 --> 00:08:20,356 Speaker 1: a lot of these pools are going to be like, 139 00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:23,836 Speaker 1: So you know, make sure that your mental pictures. It's 140 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,596 Speaker 1: like a movie, but it's very detail. And he would 141 00:08:27,676 --> 00:08:32,236 Speaker 1: start doing that. Bob's visualization technique is based on the 142 00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:36,356 Speaker 1: latest science of what researchers call mental practice. A form 143 00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:38,596 Speaker 1: of practice that you do not in the physical world, 144 00:08:38,916 --> 00:08:42,276 Speaker 1: but inside your head. It turns out that's simply imagining 145 00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:46,036 Speaker 1: a behavior, say swimming an Olympic race or practicing the violin, 146 00:08:46,396 --> 00:08:48,356 Speaker 1: can train your mind in some of the same ways 147 00:08:48,556 --> 00:08:50,956 Speaker 1: as hopping into a real pool or picking up an 148 00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:54,716 Speaker 1: actual instrument. Mental practice works because our minds aren't all 149 00:08:54,756 --> 00:08:57,636 Speaker 1: that great at telling the difference between something that's really 150 00:08:57,636 --> 00:09:01,676 Speaker 1: happening to us and something we just imagined. Envisioning an 151 00:09:01,676 --> 00:09:05,396 Speaker 1: activity vividly, it turns out, recruits the same brain circuits 152 00:09:05,476 --> 00:09:09,476 Speaker 1: as experiencing that event in real life, which means minds 153 00:09:09,476 --> 00:09:11,716 Speaker 1: can learn from imagined events in a lot of the 154 00:09:11,756 --> 00:09:15,396 Speaker 1: same ways as we learn from real events. Scientists have 155 00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:17,916 Speaker 1: done some clever experiments to show the power of mental 156 00:09:17,956 --> 00:09:21,036 Speaker 1: simulation to influence what we learn in the real world. 157 00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:24,556 Speaker 1: The psychologist carry Morwdge in his colleagues wanted to see 158 00:09:24,556 --> 00:09:27,316 Speaker 1: if simply imagining eating lots of bad food can have 159 00:09:27,396 --> 00:09:30,316 Speaker 1: the same consequences as actually eating a lot of bad food. 160 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:34,316 Speaker 1: Morwig had his subjects imagine one of two activities, either 161 00:09:34,476 --> 00:09:37,956 Speaker 1: putting thirty quarters into a laundry machine slowly, one by one, 162 00:09:38,556 --> 00:09:43,356 Speaker 1: or eating thirty pieces of Eminem's candy slowly, one by one. Afterwards, 163 00:09:43,436 --> 00:09:45,476 Speaker 1: he made both groups of subjects sit in a room 164 00:09:45,476 --> 00:09:49,316 Speaker 1: with a real candy dish. Did simulating eating the M 165 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:53,196 Speaker 1: and ms affect how many real Eminem's people ate? Morwig 166 00:09:53,236 --> 00:09:55,836 Speaker 1: found that people who imagined eating M and m's ate 167 00:09:55,876 --> 00:10:00,036 Speaker 1: about half as many as people who imagine popping quarters. Mentally, 168 00:10:00,156 --> 00:10:03,036 Speaker 1: eating of food feel so much like you're actually doing 169 00:10:03,076 --> 00:10:06,396 Speaker 1: it that you eat less chocolate in real life. Merely 170 00:10:06,436 --> 00:10:10,196 Speaker 1: imagining causes enough of the same cues and zoological signals 171 00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:12,476 Speaker 1: that we can learn from a behavior we just saw 172 00:10:12,516 --> 00:10:16,916 Speaker 1: inside our heads. Mental practice, it turns out, can also 173 00:10:16,956 --> 00:10:20,316 Speaker 1: make perfect, or in the case of Michael Phelps, more 174 00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:22,716 Speaker 1: than perfect. We used to call it the movie right 175 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:25,836 Speaker 1: like back then there wasn't you know, digital, We had 176 00:10:25,996 --> 00:10:29,996 Speaker 1: VHS tapes, so I would carry it into practice. So 177 00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:33,236 Speaker 1: let's say we were doing a series and practice where 178 00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:37,636 Speaker 1: Michael was swimming one hundred meters freestop. I would say, 179 00:10:37,996 --> 00:10:41,156 Speaker 1: put in the videotape and run your rehearsal of your 180 00:10:41,196 --> 00:10:43,236 Speaker 1: race right now, see the movie right now as you're 181 00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:45,396 Speaker 1: doing this last one hundred meters and hit the time. 182 00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:47,556 Speaker 1: Was the kind of thing Michael wasn't envisioning his head 183 00:10:47,596 --> 00:10:51,556 Speaker 1: always positive, like the perfect race, everything goes perfectly well, 184 00:10:51,596 --> 00:10:54,236 Speaker 1: you know, I used to think it was until after 185 00:10:54,276 --> 00:10:58,676 Speaker 1: the Beijing Olympics. Yes, the two thousand and eight Beijing Olympics. 186 00:10:59,196 --> 00:11:02,076 Speaker 1: That year, Michael was hoping to smash the record in 187 00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:04,956 Speaker 1: the two hundred meter butterfly final. It was his best 188 00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:09,236 Speaker 1: event and quite frankly, he and I were both hoping 189 00:11:09,276 --> 00:11:13,596 Speaker 1: for a performance that would last forever. That butterfly final 190 00:11:13,796 --> 00:11:16,356 Speaker 1: was definitely a race that fans would remember, but not 191 00:11:16,436 --> 00:11:19,916 Speaker 1: for the reasons Bob expected. A real life disaster struck 192 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:23,036 Speaker 1: during that race, one that challenged the tenets of positive 193 00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:27,436 Speaker 1: thinking right to the core. The Happiness Lab will be 194 00:11:27,476 --> 00:11:41,156 Speaker 1: back in a moment. Michael Phelps was about to begin 195 00:11:41,236 --> 00:11:43,676 Speaker 1: one of the biggest races of his career, the two 196 00:11:43,756 --> 00:11:48,236 Speaker 1: hundred meter men's butterfly Olympic Final. Coach Bob Bowman was 197 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:51,916 Speaker 1: poolside when the race suddenly went wrong. After the dive, 198 00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:54,956 Speaker 1: he noticed in the first fifty meters that his goggles 199 00:11:54,956 --> 00:11:58,716 Speaker 1: are filling up with water, but he knew he couldn't 200 00:11:58,756 --> 00:12:02,076 Speaker 1: stop and take his goggles off because that would be disqualification. 201 00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:04,236 Speaker 1: He would have broken stroke, so he was stuck with 202 00:12:04,236 --> 00:12:06,276 Speaker 1: the goggles and by the time he was halfway through 203 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:09,236 Speaker 1: the race, he could not see anything. Think about this 204 00:12:09,316 --> 00:12:12,316 Speaker 1: for a second, your Michael Phelps, You've trained for this 205 00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:15,756 Speaker 1: moment your entire life. You've been reminded of how important 206 00:12:15,756 --> 00:12:18,316 Speaker 1: the gold medal is every time you went to the refrigerator. 207 00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:22,916 Speaker 1: You've played mental videotape after mental videotape of the perfect race. 208 00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:25,876 Speaker 1: But when you dive into the pool, your goggles fill 209 00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:31,116 Speaker 1: with water in your swimming blind. What did Michael do well? 210 00:12:31,276 --> 00:12:33,916 Speaker 1: Even though his coach didn't realize it, Michael had a 211 00:12:33,916 --> 00:12:37,236 Speaker 1: tape for that too. It turns out Michael had gotten 212 00:12:37,276 --> 00:12:40,916 Speaker 1: so bored with all those think positive, perfect race visualizations 213 00:12:41,236 --> 00:12:44,196 Speaker 1: that he threw some not so perfect mental simulations into 214 00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:47,156 Speaker 1: the mix. And I had no idea he was doing that. 215 00:12:47,196 --> 00:12:50,516 Speaker 1: He did that on his own. Very important. The importance 216 00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:52,236 Speaker 1: of this is clear when we cut back to that 217 00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:55,076 Speaker 1: butterfly race. How did Michael deal with the tragedy of 218 00:12:55,076 --> 00:12:58,476 Speaker 1: swimming blind? He played back a mental movie. So what 219 00:12:58,596 --> 00:13:01,196 Speaker 1: he decided to do was revert back to what he 220 00:13:01,236 --> 00:13:04,236 Speaker 1: had seen and worked on so hard mentally. And he's like, 221 00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:06,396 Speaker 1: I hope at nineteen strokes. I'm going to hit the wall. 222 00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:09,556 Speaker 1: He did, and then he made the last fifties. Okay, 223 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,716 Speaker 1: at twenty, I really hope I'm going to get this done, 224 00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:16,236 Speaker 1: and he did. The result was a world record gold medal, 225 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:20,596 Speaker 1: and if you ever watched the video of it, Michael 226 00:13:20,996 --> 00:13:23,276 Speaker 1: takes off his throws off his cap and goggles and 227 00:13:23,476 --> 00:13:27,836 Speaker 1: he looks like somebody who got last place, right, And 228 00:13:29,516 --> 00:13:31,596 Speaker 1: he went into this tantrum like he used to have. 229 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,436 Speaker 1: What he was like twelve, you know, my goggles filled up. 230 00:13:34,516 --> 00:13:36,036 Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do. I just count on 231 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:39,036 Speaker 1: my strokes. I could have gone one fifty point five. 232 00:13:39,076 --> 00:13:41,756 Speaker 1: I went one fifty two flat. I'm like, uh, you know, 233 00:13:41,876 --> 00:13:43,916 Speaker 1: we're kind of in front of a few billion people 234 00:13:43,996 --> 00:13:48,316 Speaker 1: right now, gold medal, world record, let's just smile. And 235 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:52,236 Speaker 1: he did. But that's a perfect example of him taking 236 00:13:52,236 --> 00:13:55,396 Speaker 1: what we had rehearsed so many times and putting it 237 00:13:55,436 --> 00:14:00,436 Speaker 1: to practice under incredible pressure. Right. And my first thought 238 00:14:00,436 --> 00:14:02,316 Speaker 1: about that is who does that? What kind of freak 239 00:14:02,436 --> 00:14:04,436 Speaker 1: is this? It does that? But when you can go 240 00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:06,916 Speaker 1: back and dissect how he got there, he had been 241 00:14:06,916 --> 00:14:09,716 Speaker 1: prepared for that for a very long time. I saw 242 00:14:09,756 --> 00:14:11,356 Speaker 1: an interview with him where he was asked what was 243 00:14:11,396 --> 00:14:13,596 Speaker 1: it like to swim blind? And I think he said, 244 00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:18,996 Speaker 1: just like I imagined it would exactly exactly. Michael didn't 245 00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:22,156 Speaker 1: just visualize all the positive stuff, the perfect race when 246 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:25,196 Speaker 1: everything went well. He also simulated what it felt like 247 00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:28,436 Speaker 1: to swim blind, and so he swam perfectly in spite 248 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,356 Speaker 1: of the awful situation, and in the end he won 249 00:14:31,396 --> 00:14:34,556 Speaker 1: the race, got the gold, and even took the world record. 250 00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:39,036 Speaker 1: Bob Breckens. Things would have been very different if Michael's 251 00:14:39,076 --> 00:14:44,036 Speaker 1: visualizations had used purely positive thinking. Your brain is a computer, right, 252 00:14:44,236 --> 00:14:48,756 Speaker 1: That's what I say, and you're giving it input, right, 253 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,076 Speaker 1: So you're giving it, on the one hand, the input 254 00:14:51,116 --> 00:14:53,556 Speaker 1: of the things that you want to do. On the 255 00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:58,836 Speaker 1: second part, you're rehearsing a database of scenarios so that 256 00:14:58,876 --> 00:15:02,036 Speaker 1: you're ready for whatever comes up. If you dive in 257 00:15:02,036 --> 00:15:04,836 Speaker 1: and something doesn't go well, you can immediately call on 258 00:15:04,876 --> 00:15:07,196 Speaker 1: these other scenarios. But if you haven't put those in 259 00:15:07,236 --> 00:15:09,756 Speaker 1: your database, you don't get to call on those. You 260 00:15:09,796 --> 00:15:12,276 Speaker 1: have to consciously start thinking about what to do. And 261 00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:13,916 Speaker 1: we all know that's not the best way to be 262 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,236 Speaker 1: in competition, right. You want to shut your brain off 263 00:15:16,236 --> 00:15:20,676 Speaker 1: and just let it automatically happen. Michael Phelps is a 264 00:15:20,676 --> 00:15:23,476 Speaker 1: one in a million, maybe one in a billion athlete, 265 00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:27,396 Speaker 1: but science suggests the strategy he used, focusing his mental 266 00:15:27,476 --> 00:15:31,356 Speaker 1: energy on the worst possible outcome that nightmare scenario is 267 00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:34,436 Speaker 1: one that all of us can learn from. Despite what 268 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:37,236 Speaker 1: shelves of self help books say, it turns out that 269 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:42,036 Speaker 1: negative thinking is really really helpful. In fact, new research 270 00:15:42,156 --> 00:15:45,836 Speaker 1: is beginning to show that positive thinking focusing only on 271 00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:49,316 Speaker 1: the good outcomes, can be a recipe for disaster. Or 272 00:15:49,396 --> 00:15:54,596 Speaker 1: we find is the more positive people think about the future, 273 00:15:54,796 --> 00:15:59,436 Speaker 1: actually the less well they do in reaching the positive future. 274 00:15:59,996 --> 00:16:03,436 Speaker 1: I'm talking with gabrielle Otingen, professor of psychology at NYU, 275 00:16:03,836 --> 00:16:07,196 Speaker 1: an author of a book entitled Rethinking Positive Thinking. We 276 00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:10,116 Speaker 1: need to listen to all of the positive fantasies and 277 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:14,356 Speaker 1: daydreams because they are an expression of our needs, so 278 00:16:14,716 --> 00:16:18,116 Speaker 1: we know where to go. The only problem is that 279 00:16:18,196 --> 00:16:22,356 Speaker 1: these positive fantasies and datreams accept our energy. They are 280 00:16:22,396 --> 00:16:28,396 Speaker 1: actually an impediment to our actual successes. Gabriel's work has 281 00:16:28,476 --> 00:16:32,076 Speaker 1: documented lots of cases were more positive thinking leads to 282 00:16:32,196 --> 00:16:37,596 Speaker 1: worst outcomes. The more positively people enrolled in a weight 283 00:16:37,636 --> 00:16:42,236 Speaker 1: production program, fantasized about their success in the program, the 284 00:16:42,396 --> 00:16:47,356 Speaker 1: fewer pounds they shed, or the more positively university credits. 285 00:16:47,796 --> 00:16:53,356 Speaker 1: Fantasized about success in transferring into the work life, the 286 00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:56,836 Speaker 1: fewer dollars they earned two years later, the fewer job 287 00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:00,796 Speaker 1: offers they had gotten, and the fewer job applications that 288 00:17:00,876 --> 00:17:04,396 Speaker 1: had sent out. You name the goal, and research shows 289 00:17:04,436 --> 00:17:07,476 Speaker 1: that positive thinking makes it less likely you'll reach it. 290 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:11,716 Speaker 1: Those who fantasy about starting a romantic relationship are more 291 00:17:11,796 --> 00:17:15,156 Speaker 1: likely to remain alone. People who dream of an ideal 292 00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:19,636 Speaker 1: future get more depressed. Carefully imagine getting good grades, and 293 00:17:19,716 --> 00:17:23,676 Speaker 1: you risk flunking the class. The downside of positive thinking 294 00:17:23,956 --> 00:17:27,996 Speaker 1: even extends to physical outcomes. Elderly individuals who dream of 295 00:17:27,996 --> 00:17:30,716 Speaker 1: a full recovery after their hip surgery are the ones 296 00:17:30,756 --> 00:17:35,796 Speaker 1: who can walk the fewest steps afterwards. Simply put, positive 297 00:17:35,796 --> 00:17:39,956 Speaker 1: thinking alone doesn't work. I asked Gabrielle if people are 298 00:17:39,996 --> 00:17:42,516 Speaker 1: shocked when they hear about this work, whether she gets 299 00:17:42,516 --> 00:17:47,356 Speaker 1: a lot of pushback. I do. But on the other hand, 300 00:17:48,036 --> 00:17:53,316 Speaker 1: people are sometimes grateful because this positive thinking alone did 301 00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:56,436 Speaker 1: not work for them, and they always think something is 302 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,756 Speaker 1: wrong with them, and they feel kind of relieved that 303 00:18:00,276 --> 00:18:03,916 Speaker 1: they are not alone, where they experience that they can 304 00:18:03,956 --> 00:18:07,756 Speaker 1: sink positive and positive and positive and still things don't 305 00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,556 Speaker 1: rain from heaven. The coolest thing about Gabrielle's work is 306 00:18:11,556 --> 00:18:15,436 Speaker 1: that she's figured out why positive fantasies are counterproductive, the 307 00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:19,596 Speaker 1: reason mentally simulating our desired outcome makes us think we 308 00:18:19,636 --> 00:18:22,716 Speaker 1: already got there, like we just ate all the eminem's 309 00:18:22,796 --> 00:18:27,076 Speaker 1: we need in their mind, they experience this desired future 310 00:18:27,716 --> 00:18:32,316 Speaker 1: already there, and therefore they relax. So it's almost like 311 00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:35,916 Speaker 1: the simple act of experiencing this positive fantasy, it's like 312 00:18:35,956 --> 00:18:38,436 Speaker 1: it confuses our mind. Our mind thinks we've already gotten it, 313 00:18:38,476 --> 00:18:41,276 Speaker 1: so we don't have to put energy in exactly, you 314 00:18:41,316 --> 00:18:45,156 Speaker 1: can measure that by lord blood pressure, for example. And 315 00:18:45,196 --> 00:18:47,636 Speaker 1: so how do we actually get the energy back we 316 00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:51,316 Speaker 1: need to realize our goals? Oddly enough, we need a 317 00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:55,836 Speaker 1: burst of negative thinking, just like Michael Phelps visualizing swimming blind, 318 00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:59,156 Speaker 1: getting to our own personal goals requires thinking about the 319 00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:03,116 Speaker 1: obstacles that block our path. It's kind of contraintuitive that 320 00:19:03,196 --> 00:19:06,796 Speaker 1: the obstacles in our way are actually the trigger for 321 00:19:07,076 --> 00:19:11,556 Speaker 1: overcoming them and getting to implement all positive fantasies. But 322 00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:15,156 Speaker 1: it's exactly what we've found. We need to ground our 323 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:19,196 Speaker 1: positive fantasies in the gritty reality. It's a strategy, Gabrielle 324 00:19:19,236 --> 00:19:23,356 Speaker 1: calls mental contrasting. Every time we have a positive ambition 325 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,156 Speaker 1: for ourselves, we need to directly contrast that goal mentally 326 00:19:27,436 --> 00:19:30,836 Speaker 1: with the reality of the situation, the actual obstacles in 327 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,116 Speaker 1: our way. And we need to simulate all of the obstacles, 328 00:19:34,116 --> 00:19:37,516 Speaker 1: both the physical ones like a pair of goggles falling off, 329 00:19:37,836 --> 00:19:41,396 Speaker 1: but also the mental obstacles are dumb habits, fears, and 330 00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:45,956 Speaker 1: bad tendencies. That's a critical point in mental contrasting. Identify 331 00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:49,796 Speaker 1: the inner obstacle and get rid of the excuses. Then 332 00:19:49,836 --> 00:19:55,036 Speaker 1: we get the energy to overcome these obstacles. Mental contrasting 333 00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:58,316 Speaker 1: is not just negative thinking or simply ruminating about all 334 00:19:58,356 --> 00:20:01,596 Speaker 1: the bad stuff. It's making sure you factor the obstacles 335 00:20:01,636 --> 00:20:05,996 Speaker 1: you're facing into your plans. It's contrasting the harsh realities 336 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,956 Speaker 1: of the world with what you'd like to see in 337 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:11,436 Speaker 1: the future, and that helps you determine whether your vision 338 00:20:11,556 --> 00:20:16,276 Speaker 1: is really achievable or worth it. If the obstacle is 339 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:23,396 Speaker 1: just too formidable or too costly to overcome, we can 340 00:20:23,636 --> 00:20:27,476 Speaker 1: then say Okay, I can let go without having a 341 00:20:27,516 --> 00:20:31,876 Speaker 1: bad conscience, and then I am free to invest my 342 00:20:32,036 --> 00:20:37,556 Speaker 1: energy to more feasible wishes. So it is a strategy 343 00:20:37,596 --> 00:20:41,836 Speaker 1: to set priorities and to let go from wishes that 344 00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:47,236 Speaker 1: is simply not feasible or too costly. Mental contrasting can 345 00:20:47,276 --> 00:20:50,196 Speaker 1: help us get our goals in line with what's actually doable, 346 00:20:50,556 --> 00:20:53,516 Speaker 1: what's really worth our effort. But that doesn't mean that 347 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,116 Speaker 1: mental contrasting causes you to give up when the going 348 00:20:56,116 --> 00:20:59,636 Speaker 1: gets tough. In fact, this strategy can be essential for 349 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,276 Speaker 1: getting through the toughest physical and mental challenges a person 350 00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:06,716 Speaker 1: can face. Check check. This is Kristen back with Laurie 351 00:21:06,756 --> 00:21:10,876 Speaker 1: Santo's all right. Kristen is a decorated veteran of one 352 00:21:10,876 --> 00:21:14,516 Speaker 1: of the most elite military forces, a unit where even 353 00:21:14,516 --> 00:21:16,996 Speaker 1: if you're lucky enough to try out, the chances of 354 00:21:16,996 --> 00:21:20,436 Speaker 1: you making the grade are tiny. It's probably like seven percent. 355 00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:23,676 Speaker 1: I think back when I joined, it was like the 356 00:21:23,756 --> 00:21:26,956 Speaker 1: late eighties early nineties, and there was really no publicity 357 00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:29,596 Speaker 1: for the seal teams. But it was a really crappy 358 00:21:29,676 --> 00:21:33,316 Speaker 1: movie called Navy Seals. And after I saw that movie 359 00:21:33,356 --> 00:21:36,956 Speaker 1: about the Navy Seals, I was like I'm gonna do that. Nowadays, 360 00:21:36,956 --> 00:21:39,636 Speaker 1: the Navy Seals are famous. They're the unit that killed 361 00:21:39,636 --> 00:21:44,276 Speaker 1: Osama bin Laden, and their extreme training techniques made great television. 362 00:21:44,676 --> 00:21:47,796 Speaker 1: They're shouted at, made to carry heavy logs, and thrown 363 00:21:47,836 --> 00:21:51,156 Speaker 1: into the freezing ocean with their hands tied. And that's 364 00:21:51,196 --> 00:21:53,596 Speaker 1: just the warm up for the real challenge of joining 365 00:21:53,596 --> 00:21:57,596 Speaker 1: the Seals. Hell Week, you start training all they're doing, 366 00:21:57,956 --> 00:22:00,596 Speaker 1: defeating the heck outia. You're gonna be awake for six days. 367 00:22:01,116 --> 00:22:03,756 Speaker 1: You're gonna be working out constantly for six days. You're 368 00:22:03,796 --> 00:22:05,996 Speaker 1: making you do, you know, a thousand sit ups and 369 00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:08,636 Speaker 1: hundreds and hundred of pushups, and you swim for seven 370 00:22:08,636 --> 00:22:11,236 Speaker 1: miles and you run four miles, and it's just like 371 00:22:11,276 --> 00:22:15,116 Speaker 1: a constant physical abuse. And what they're trying to do 372 00:22:15,156 --> 00:22:17,036 Speaker 1: is they're trying to make you break. They're trying to 373 00:22:17,076 --> 00:22:18,956 Speaker 1: make your body break or your mind break, you know, 374 00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:22,156 Speaker 1: one or the other. The attrition rate for wannabe Seals 375 00:22:22,236 --> 00:22:26,116 Speaker 1: is insane. During Hell Week, recruit after recruit just gives up. 376 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:30,396 Speaker 1: It's even ritualized to drop out. Recruits need to walk 377 00:22:30,396 --> 00:22:33,676 Speaker 1: over to a brass ship's bell, assuming they can even walk, 378 00:22:34,116 --> 00:22:38,076 Speaker 1: and ring it to signal their surrender. But part of 379 00:22:38,076 --> 00:22:40,956 Speaker 1: what makes Kristen such an incredible person is that she 380 00:22:41,116 --> 00:22:44,156 Speaker 1: never hit that bell. You never quit, you still keep going. 381 00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:47,836 Speaker 1: And so you're barely walking, but you're still going. You know, 382 00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:50,716 Speaker 1: you're doing fushups and you're like your knees are on 383 00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:53,716 Speaker 1: the ground and you're barely moving. Well, you're still doing it. 384 00:22:54,156 --> 00:22:55,876 Speaker 1: And they kind of have to train you that hard 385 00:22:55,956 --> 00:22:58,676 Speaker 1: physically because that's what you're going to deal with physically 386 00:22:58,676 --> 00:23:00,796 Speaker 1: when you're actually in the job, right exactly. I mean 387 00:23:00,836 --> 00:23:03,076 Speaker 1: a physical is a huge part of it, but I 388 00:23:03,116 --> 00:23:05,836 Speaker 1: think the mental is bigger. Why do the Seals make 389 00:23:05,836 --> 00:23:09,596 Speaker 1: their recruits train so hard? It's the old military adage, 390 00:23:10,076 --> 00:23:14,476 Speaker 1: train hard, fight easy. Having survived Hell Week, Kristen had 391 00:23:14,516 --> 00:23:17,276 Speaker 1: the confidence that she could meet even the greatest mental 392 00:23:17,316 --> 00:23:21,796 Speaker 1: and physical challenges and still succeed. But once becoming part 393 00:23:21,836 --> 00:23:24,716 Speaker 1: of the Seal's proper Kristen found that the unit doesn't 394 00:23:24,716 --> 00:23:27,796 Speaker 1: just practice in the real world. They also practice in 395 00:23:27,836 --> 00:23:31,676 Speaker 1: their heads. And this elite unit takes the simulations Michael 396 00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:35,036 Speaker 1: Phelps and Gabrielle Otingen recommend to a whole new level. 397 00:23:35,356 --> 00:23:37,316 Speaker 1: So we've practice all the bad stuff to make sure 398 00:23:37,356 --> 00:23:38,796 Speaker 1: that when we do get there. We go, wow, this 399 00:23:38,756 --> 00:23:41,916 Speaker 1: is easy. I've already seen something like that, or I've 400 00:23:41,956 --> 00:23:44,476 Speaker 1: already been there, so that you're not quite as shocked 401 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:48,276 Speaker 1: when you know it really hits the fan. Just like 402 00:23:48,356 --> 00:23:51,676 Speaker 1: with Michael Phelps imagining a race, thinking of every stroke, 403 00:23:51,756 --> 00:23:54,596 Speaker 1: in every detail, down to the smell of the chlorinated water, 404 00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:58,716 Speaker 1: Kristen would painstakingly plan every facet of her missions in 405 00:23:58,796 --> 00:24:02,596 Speaker 1: Iraq and Afghanistan. So we do sand tables interactually these 406 00:24:02,596 --> 00:24:06,396 Speaker 1: big tables with sand, and then we shaved the sand 407 00:24:06,516 --> 00:24:09,636 Speaker 1: into the terrain. And so if it's a mountain over there, 408 00:24:09,676 --> 00:24:11,956 Speaker 1: in a valley here, and it's a stream here, we'll 409 00:24:12,116 --> 00:24:14,236 Speaker 1: make it as close as possible to what that train's 410 00:24:14,276 --> 00:24:18,076 Speaker 1: gonna look like. If we encounter enemy forces here, then 411 00:24:18,196 --> 00:24:20,156 Speaker 1: this is gonna be your heart our way out. If 412 00:24:20,156 --> 00:24:21,716 Speaker 1: this doesn't work, I want to go back to here. 413 00:24:21,996 --> 00:24:24,876 Speaker 1: We're constantly nitpicking and constantly saying what if this happens, 414 00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:27,396 Speaker 1: what if that happens, And then we throw on all 415 00:24:27,436 --> 00:24:30,236 Speaker 1: the other ranches in the machine to make things break down, 416 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,916 Speaker 1: and this happens. This happens. So just like Michael Phelps, 417 00:24:32,996 --> 00:24:36,436 Speaker 1: maybe a little little harsher and word weird stuff happens. 418 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,276 Speaker 1: So when you guys swim, it's like legit and with 419 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:41,436 Speaker 1: big bags of mortars and things like that, one hundred 420 00:24:41,436 --> 00:24:44,356 Speaker 1: pounds and through the water for seven miles. So I'm 421 00:24:44,356 --> 00:24:46,436 Speaker 1: not sure how much of this is classified, but I'm wondering, like, 422 00:24:46,916 --> 00:24:51,156 Speaker 1: if this kind of simulation was classified, there was there 423 00:24:51,236 --> 00:24:53,156 Speaker 1: like you know, or maybe in vague terms, you can 424 00:24:53,156 --> 00:24:55,236 Speaker 1: tell it was there one time where those simulations really 425 00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:57,716 Speaker 1: paid off. I mean, I could probably tell you that 426 00:24:57,876 --> 00:25:01,716 Speaker 1: every mission goes that way. You'd never go as accord 427 00:25:01,756 --> 00:25:04,516 Speaker 1: in Flan. I didn't push Kristen to tell me any 428 00:25:04,556 --> 00:25:06,996 Speaker 1: more of her war stories. There's a good reason her 429 00:25:06,996 --> 00:25:11,996 Speaker 1: activities are classified. I deployed thirteen times overseas. I did 430 00:25:12,036 --> 00:25:16,316 Speaker 1: a lot of work behind enemy lines in deep I 431 00:25:16,396 --> 00:25:18,796 Speaker 1: was kind of sneaky, peeky, so I did a lot 432 00:25:18,836 --> 00:25:21,676 Speaker 1: of the stuff that you would do like in other agencies. 433 00:25:22,076 --> 00:25:24,676 Speaker 1: But Kristen's most important role in the Seals was as 434 00:25:24,716 --> 00:25:28,556 Speaker 1: a planner, the person charged with predicting the terrible obstacles. 435 00:25:28,876 --> 00:25:31,076 Speaker 1: She's trained more in the okay, what could go wrong 436 00:25:31,156 --> 00:25:34,436 Speaker 1: next thought than nearly anyone else in our nation. I 437 00:25:34,556 --> 00:25:36,476 Speaker 1: do it out of habit because I did it so 438 00:25:36,516 --> 00:25:39,916 Speaker 1: many times, and because it's a habit, Kristen really gets 439 00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:42,236 Speaker 1: that the kind of positive thinking we're often told to 440 00:25:42,276 --> 00:25:45,556 Speaker 1: adopt by well meaning friends and self help grows, it 441 00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:47,836 Speaker 1: isn't all that helpful when the bullets start to fly. 442 00:25:48,236 --> 00:25:50,516 Speaker 1: We always plan on all the negatives and all the 443 00:25:50,516 --> 00:25:53,636 Speaker 1: bad stuff happen. Hope is not a course of ashion. 444 00:25:54,156 --> 00:25:56,036 Speaker 1: If all you have is hope, then you don't have 445 00:25:56,156 --> 00:25:58,996 Speaker 1: very much. Kristen's training in the Seals made her the 446 00:25:59,116 --> 00:26:03,516 Speaker 1: human embodiment of mental contrasting, thinking through all the possible 447 00:26:03,516 --> 00:26:07,076 Speaker 1: obstacles before they happen. But there's a second reason I 448 00:26:07,116 --> 00:26:10,356 Speaker 1: wanted to interview Kristen for this episode, and that's because 449 00:26:10,676 --> 00:26:13,236 Speaker 1: she's also faced a different kind of battle, one that 450 00:26:13,276 --> 00:26:17,276 Speaker 1: she began speaking about publicly only after leaving the Armed Services. 451 00:26:17,836 --> 00:26:20,836 Speaker 1: Right after I retired, I knew who I was, you know, 452 00:26:21,596 --> 00:26:25,156 Speaker 1: borned Christopher, but Kristen was part of my life since 453 00:26:25,156 --> 00:26:27,716 Speaker 1: I was like a very young age, I knew who 454 00:26:27,756 --> 00:26:31,156 Speaker 1: I was. Kristen is a transgender woman and the author 455 00:26:31,196 --> 00:26:34,236 Speaker 1: of Warrior Princess, a US Navy Seals journey to coming 456 00:26:34,236 --> 00:26:37,596 Speaker 1: out transgender. After she left the military, she made the 457 00:26:37,636 --> 00:26:40,436 Speaker 1: courageous decision to live in accord with her gender identity, 458 00:26:40,756 --> 00:26:42,676 Speaker 1: not the sex she happened to be assigned at birth. 459 00:26:43,116 --> 00:26:44,876 Speaker 1: She has now gone on to become one of the 460 00:26:44,876 --> 00:26:49,916 Speaker 1: country's most celebrated transactivists, but like many trans people, Kristen 461 00:26:49,996 --> 00:26:52,476 Speaker 1: has also faced a number of harrowing challenges in the 462 00:26:52,476 --> 00:26:56,316 Speaker 1: process of her transition from daily harassment and discrimination to 463 00:26:56,436 --> 00:27:00,036 Speaker 1: acts of physical violence. I wanted to learn how Kristen's 464 00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:04,596 Speaker 1: expertise in mental contrasting helped her navigate this difficult personal challenge. 465 00:27:05,596 --> 00:27:09,436 Speaker 1: Her honest answer blindsided me and taught me that the 466 00:27:09,476 --> 00:27:12,796 Speaker 1: lives of the mind go way deeper than we often realize. 467 00:27:14,476 --> 00:27:23,996 Speaker 1: The happiness lab will be right back. Unless we understand 468 00:27:24,036 --> 00:27:26,476 Speaker 1: what the obstacle is, we will not have the energy 469 00:27:26,516 --> 00:27:29,996 Speaker 1: to overcome the obstacle, and we will also when we 470 00:27:30,036 --> 00:27:33,596 Speaker 1: don't imagine the obstacle, we will not be creative in 471 00:27:33,756 --> 00:27:38,156 Speaker 1: finding solutions to overcome the obstacle. Gabrielle Outingen's work on 472 00:27:38,236 --> 00:27:41,636 Speaker 1: mental contrasting has shown just how powerful thinking about our 473 00:27:41,676 --> 00:27:45,236 Speaker 1: obstacles can be. Her studies have shown time and again 474 00:27:45,516 --> 00:27:48,356 Speaker 1: that simulating the barriers to our goals can give us 475 00:27:48,356 --> 00:27:51,516 Speaker 1: the motivation we need to solve them. The blood pressure 476 00:27:51,516 --> 00:27:56,596 Speaker 1: goes up provides the oxygen to get going. But there's 477 00:27:56,636 --> 00:27:59,556 Speaker 1: one more feature of mental contrasting that makes it such 478 00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:03,196 Speaker 1: a powerful strategy. It gets our minds to start planning. 479 00:28:03,756 --> 00:28:06,916 Speaker 1: When we think about obstacles, our brains naturally want to 480 00:28:06,956 --> 00:28:10,516 Speaker 1: search for solutions to those obstacles. Very often, this solution 481 00:28:10,556 --> 00:28:12,876 Speaker 1: comes already when you think about the obstacle. When you 482 00:28:12,916 --> 00:28:17,196 Speaker 1: imagine the obstacle happening, you will suddenly understand, Ah, this 483 00:28:17,316 --> 00:28:20,076 Speaker 1: is what I could do in order to overcome the 484 00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:24,956 Speaker 1: obstaclet Why didn't I discover that years ago? Thinking through 485 00:28:24,996 --> 00:28:27,916 Speaker 1: all those inner and outer obstacles drives our mind into 486 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:31,476 Speaker 1: plotting mode. We turn on our inner navy seals. We 487 00:28:31,556 --> 00:28:33,996 Speaker 1: hunger down at our mental stand tables to work out 488 00:28:33,996 --> 00:28:37,996 Speaker 1: a plan that can successfully overcome the barrier we've identified. 489 00:28:38,876 --> 00:28:40,996 Speaker 1: But Gabrielle has found a new way to put this 490 00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:45,356 Speaker 1: planning process into overdrive by adding one additional form of 491 00:28:45,436 --> 00:28:50,596 Speaker 1: mental practice. In addition to simulating the obstacles, Gabrielle recommends 492 00:28:50,676 --> 00:28:54,596 Speaker 1: also taking time to imagine, very intentionally, what it would 493 00:28:54,596 --> 00:28:57,836 Speaker 1: feel like to implement our plan whenever the obstacle comes up. 494 00:28:58,476 --> 00:29:00,596 Speaker 1: Kind of like what Michael Phelps did in his training. 495 00:29:00,956 --> 00:29:04,756 Speaker 1: If goggles come off, then take exactly nineteen strokes. This 496 00:29:04,836 --> 00:29:08,356 Speaker 1: intentional simulation of an if then plan is a strategy 497 00:29:08,396 --> 00:29:12,956 Speaker 1: that researchers have called implementation intentions. The practice was developed 498 00:29:12,956 --> 00:29:17,156 Speaker 1: by Gabrielle's husband, the psychologist Peter Goldwitzer. The couple has 499 00:29:17,196 --> 00:29:19,796 Speaker 1: now teamed up to study the power of using these 500 00:29:19,796 --> 00:29:23,156 Speaker 1: two mental practices in parallel. They've even tied the two 501 00:29:23,156 --> 00:29:26,956 Speaker 1: techniques together into one convenient package. It's even got a 502 00:29:26,996 --> 00:29:32,116 Speaker 1: hanti acronym whoop woop, that's right, that's right, whoop, which 503 00:29:32,156 --> 00:29:37,316 Speaker 1: means wish, outcome obstacle and then plan. So it is 504 00:29:37,556 --> 00:29:41,396 Speaker 1: identify a wish that is dear to your heart, find 505 00:29:41,636 --> 00:29:48,676 Speaker 1: the best outcome and imagine it. Find the inner central obstacle, 506 00:29:49,316 --> 00:29:53,276 Speaker 1: meaning the obstacle in you that stands in the way, 507 00:29:53,516 --> 00:30:00,076 Speaker 1: and imagine the obstacle, and then form an if then plan. 508 00:30:00,676 --> 00:30:07,116 Speaker 1: So wish outcome obstacle plan. So that's then what we 509 00:30:07,236 --> 00:30:11,476 Speaker 1: call whoop. Let's try it now really quickly. What's something 510 00:30:11,596 --> 00:30:14,396 Speaker 1: you wish for? What's a goal you really want to 511 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:17,796 Speaker 1: achieve in life? Now take a second to think of 512 00:30:17,796 --> 00:30:21,036 Speaker 1: the outcome, what your life will really be like if 513 00:30:21,036 --> 00:30:25,396 Speaker 1: you actually achieve that wish, But what are the obstacles? 514 00:30:26,956 --> 00:30:31,876 Speaker 1: Non judgmentally think of what's really in your way? And 515 00:30:32,236 --> 00:30:35,756 Speaker 1: now that you know the obstacles, what's your plan how 516 00:30:35,796 --> 00:30:39,236 Speaker 1: will you actually overcome the barriers to realize in your goal. 517 00:30:40,396 --> 00:30:43,476 Speaker 1: That only took a few seconds and Gabrielle recommends taking 518 00:30:43,476 --> 00:30:46,836 Speaker 1: a bit longer to whoop, but you get the general idea. 519 00:30:46,956 --> 00:30:50,796 Speaker 1: It's a simple technique, but one that's really powerful. Research 520 00:30:50,836 --> 00:30:54,436 Speaker 1: shows it helps people eat healthier, lose more weight, study 521 00:30:54,476 --> 00:30:58,396 Speaker 1: more effectively, and even procrastinate less. It can help depress 522 00:30:58,436 --> 00:31:01,716 Speaker 1: people exercise and be more social, and even helps patients 523 00:31:01,716 --> 00:31:06,116 Speaker 1: recover faster and take their medications more regularly. When you 524 00:31:06,156 --> 00:31:09,996 Speaker 1: ask people, how did it work for you, the obstacle 525 00:31:10,116 --> 00:31:13,476 Speaker 1: didn't appear, so they can't even remember that the obstacle 526 00:31:13,596 --> 00:31:17,636 Speaker 1: appeared because they've just automatically summar did it. And that's 527 00:31:17,636 --> 00:31:21,436 Speaker 1: why whooping is so powerful. It harnesses the processes we 528 00:31:21,516 --> 00:31:24,276 Speaker 1: learned about in the first part of this episode. One 529 00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:27,276 Speaker 1: of the most awesome features of our mind. Our brains 530 00:31:27,316 --> 00:31:31,716 Speaker 1: can automatically learn from mental practice. Imagine eating a bunch 531 00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:34,036 Speaker 1: of M and m's and you've learned what it feels 532 00:31:34,076 --> 00:31:37,556 Speaker 1: like you're done eating them. Imagine swimming the perfect race 533 00:31:37,836 --> 00:31:40,596 Speaker 1: and your brain knows what to do. And imagine the 534 00:31:40,636 --> 00:31:43,756 Speaker 1: solution to a tough obstacle and your brain has already 535 00:31:43,756 --> 00:31:47,876 Speaker 1: figured out how to overcome it automatically. But there is 536 00:31:47,956 --> 00:31:50,876 Speaker 1: one small challenge to whooping. Like all other good things 537 00:31:50,916 --> 00:31:53,436 Speaker 1: in life, we actually have to do it for it 538 00:31:53,476 --> 00:31:56,676 Speaker 1: to work, and that can be tough in reality, not 539 00:31:56,756 --> 00:31:59,916 Speaker 1: just because it takes time, but also because doing it 540 00:31:59,916 --> 00:32:03,316 Speaker 1: well involves taking a long, hard look at yourself and 541 00:32:03,396 --> 00:32:10,356 Speaker 1: your circumstances. Whatever the obstacle is, it needs to be identifying, honestly, 542 00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:14,316 Speaker 1: without excuses, and then you can see whether you will 543 00:32:14,676 --> 00:32:19,516 Speaker 1: be able to overcome it or not. Whooping works because 544 00:32:19,516 --> 00:32:22,636 Speaker 1: it forces you to ask some tough questions. What are 545 00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:26,076 Speaker 1: my inner obstacles? What am I afraid of? What are 546 00:32:26,116 --> 00:32:30,316 Speaker 1: my real priorities? What are my insecurities? Are the people 547 00:32:30,396 --> 00:32:33,156 Speaker 1: around me preventing me from doing what I really want? 548 00:32:34,076 --> 00:32:36,716 Speaker 1: People who employ techniques like whoop know that this part, 549 00:32:36,876 --> 00:32:40,916 Speaker 1: the unfettered honesty can be daunting. Remember what Bob Bowman 550 00:32:40,996 --> 00:32:44,076 Speaker 1: told his swimmers. Every day, it takes what it takes. 551 00:32:44,756 --> 00:32:47,476 Speaker 1: Some obstacles require a lot of work, and that can 552 00:32:47,516 --> 00:32:50,116 Speaker 1: be tough to come to terms with, so tough that 553 00:32:50,196 --> 00:32:52,796 Speaker 1: we sometimes would rather put on blinders and just think 554 00:32:52,836 --> 00:32:56,796 Speaker 1: positive instead. Even people who understand the power of mental 555 00:32:56,836 --> 00:32:59,436 Speaker 1: practice aren't always able to put the work in for 556 00:32:59,556 --> 00:33:03,196 Speaker 1: goals that really matter are most personal ones, the ones 557 00:33:03,236 --> 00:33:05,756 Speaker 1: that involve a really long, hard look at the inner 558 00:33:05,796 --> 00:33:10,556 Speaker 1: obstacles we face. It's worse than combat because combat is 559 00:33:10,676 --> 00:33:17,596 Speaker 1: very cut and dry. But this is, this is you 560 00:33:17,636 --> 00:33:21,956 Speaker 1: don't know. When Kristin left the Navy Seals and began 561 00:33:22,036 --> 00:33:26,436 Speaker 1: her transition, she found enemies on all sides. I'm one 562 00:33:26,476 --> 00:33:29,756 Speaker 1: of one. I'm the only transgender Navy seal. I'm the 563 00:33:29,796 --> 00:33:32,636 Speaker 1: only female Navy seal. I'm the only however you want 564 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:36,876 Speaker 1: to explain it, I'm a very small minority. I went 565 00:33:36,916 --> 00:33:41,196 Speaker 1: to the inauguration of Donald Trump, and people are angry 566 00:33:41,236 --> 00:33:42,596 Speaker 1: at me for doing it. It It says, why would you 567 00:33:42,636 --> 00:33:44,356 Speaker 1: do that? And I said, because I was being visible, 568 00:33:44,596 --> 00:33:46,716 Speaker 1: because I was sitting there amongst all of these people 569 00:33:46,716 --> 00:33:49,676 Speaker 1: and all the supporters and everyone that loves our president. 570 00:33:49,996 --> 00:33:52,716 Speaker 1: There automatically have all those respect for the military and 571 00:33:52,756 --> 00:33:55,236 Speaker 1: patriots and all the stuff that they talk about. But 572 00:33:55,316 --> 00:33:58,196 Speaker 1: they don't respect transgender people. But now they're in a 573 00:33:58,236 --> 00:34:00,956 Speaker 1: weird conundrum whether what are they gonna do. They're not 574 00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,596 Speaker 1: gonna walk up to me and start yelling at you're 575 00:34:02,636 --> 00:34:05,356 Speaker 1: disrespecting me because they can't because the nets against a uniform. 576 00:34:05,396 --> 00:34:07,796 Speaker 1: So they're in a really weird spot that I forced 577 00:34:07,836 --> 00:34:10,756 Speaker 1: them into. I'm gonna worth you to be with me 578 00:34:10,996 --> 00:34:14,436 Speaker 1: and talk to me and be respectful, and they are. 579 00:34:15,396 --> 00:34:17,516 Speaker 1: Kristen has been made to feel like an outsider on 580 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:20,116 Speaker 1: the other side of the political aisle as well. Some 581 00:34:20,316 --> 00:34:22,996 Speaker 1: liberals are suspicious of anyone who served so long in 582 00:34:23,036 --> 00:34:26,356 Speaker 1: the military, and Kristin says people make assumptions about her 583 00:34:26,396 --> 00:34:28,716 Speaker 1: all the time, so it kind of bums me out. 584 00:34:28,796 --> 00:34:31,676 Speaker 1: You know. It makes me feel like I'm not worthy 585 00:34:31,756 --> 00:34:35,276 Speaker 1: or valid even amongst the LGBT community, And I'm not 586 00:34:35,356 --> 00:34:40,676 Speaker 1: worthy or or validated amongst the women's groups or the 587 00:34:40,796 --> 00:34:44,516 Speaker 1: civil rights groups because they never invite the end. But 588 00:34:44,636 --> 00:34:48,236 Speaker 1: Kristen's new identity also brought more intense challenges than feeling 589 00:34:48,276 --> 00:34:52,476 Speaker 1: misunderstood on both sides. Like many transgender people, she also 590 00:34:52,516 --> 00:34:57,476 Speaker 1: faced physical violence. In two twelve, I was out in 591 00:34:57,556 --> 00:35:01,116 Speaker 1: Florida and I was walking down this sidewalk and I 592 00:35:01,156 --> 00:35:03,436 Speaker 1: was alone, which is a mistake that I learned the 593 00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:06,236 Speaker 1: hard way. I was ignorant to the fact that I 594 00:35:06,236 --> 00:35:08,476 Speaker 1: had to always protect myself and always be on guard. 595 00:35:08,516 --> 00:35:11,476 Speaker 1: So I'm walking on a sidewalk and four dudes I 596 00:35:11,476 --> 00:35:13,516 Speaker 1: don't want to call them gentlemen because I definitely weren't. 597 00:35:13,916 --> 00:35:15,956 Speaker 1: One of them ran out behind me real fast and 598 00:35:15,996 --> 00:35:18,436 Speaker 1: he was yelling fag and hit me in the back 599 00:35:18,436 --> 00:35:20,796 Speaker 1: of the head, total sucker punch, and I was knocked 600 00:35:20,796 --> 00:35:22,996 Speaker 1: out and I went down like a sack of potatoes. 601 00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:25,476 Speaker 1: I'm on the ground with four guys not for me, 602 00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:27,996 Speaker 1: you know, trying to kill me. So I gained my 603 00:35:27,996 --> 00:35:31,356 Speaker 1: conscienceness back and I was getting up and one of 604 00:35:31,396 --> 00:35:34,196 Speaker 1: them kicked me my head just like a football boom. 605 00:35:34,196 --> 00:35:36,716 Speaker 1: I got knocked out again. How do you bounce back 606 00:35:36,716 --> 00:35:41,156 Speaker 1: from something like that or how do you survive knowing 607 00:35:41,236 --> 00:35:42,876 Speaker 1: that this is the world that you're going to live in? 608 00:35:43,956 --> 00:35:46,396 Speaker 1: And so at that point I started really looking at 609 00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:48,156 Speaker 1: my life and looking at the world around me in 610 00:35:48,276 --> 00:35:50,996 Speaker 1: a whole different light. And that's kind of when I 611 00:35:51,036 --> 00:35:54,716 Speaker 1: started becoming an activist. After Kristin recovered, she made a 612 00:35:54,756 --> 00:35:57,476 Speaker 1: film about her story set up her own charity and 613 00:35:57,596 --> 00:36:00,596 Speaker 1: even ran for a seat in Congress. She has now 614 00:36:00,676 --> 00:36:03,436 Speaker 1: dedicated her time and energy to the biggest fight of 615 00:36:03,436 --> 00:36:06,596 Speaker 1: her life, making the world safer and more inclusive for 616 00:36:06,636 --> 00:36:10,076 Speaker 1: trans people. And as you might imagine, a challenging goal 617 00:36:10,156 --> 00:36:14,556 Speaker 1: like that faces lots and lots of obstacles. And that 618 00:36:14,636 --> 00:36:17,236 Speaker 1: was why I wanted to talk with Kristen so badly 619 00:36:17,276 --> 00:36:20,156 Speaker 1: for this episode. Do you use the same process that 620 00:36:20,196 --> 00:36:21,676 Speaker 1: you use as a seal? You know? Do you get 621 00:36:21,676 --> 00:36:24,636 Speaker 1: out the sand? Do you think through all these negative scenarios. 622 00:36:26,196 --> 00:36:28,676 Speaker 1: It's a great point, and I wish I did, but 623 00:36:28,756 --> 00:36:32,796 Speaker 1: I don't, And maybe that's one of my problems. I'll 624 00:36:32,836 --> 00:36:36,756 Speaker 1: be honest. I was pretty shocked by this reply. Kristen 625 00:36:36,836 --> 00:36:39,596 Speaker 1: has years of training in the power of negative thinking. 626 00:36:39,996 --> 00:36:43,036 Speaker 1: She knows better than anyone that hope isn't a replacement 627 00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:45,916 Speaker 1: for planning, but even she has trouble thinking about the 628 00:36:45,956 --> 00:36:48,516 Speaker 1: obstacles when it comes to the goals that are most 629 00:36:48,556 --> 00:36:52,236 Speaker 1: dear to her, especially when those obstacles aren't just personal 630 00:36:52,516 --> 00:36:55,796 Speaker 1: but societal as well. Looking head on at the real 631 00:36:55,836 --> 00:36:59,196 Speaker 1: barriers can be scary, but it's a necessary step from 632 00:36:59,236 --> 00:37:03,476 Speaker 1: making big changes. But Kristen's not alone. We all find 633 00:37:03,476 --> 00:37:06,116 Speaker 1: it tough to look directly at the hurdles that stop 634 00:37:06,196 --> 00:37:09,276 Speaker 1: us from achieving what we care about most deeply, and 635 00:37:09,396 --> 00:37:12,596 Speaker 1: even once we're ready to face those obstacles, we sometimes 636 00:37:12,596 --> 00:37:15,676 Speaker 1: have trouble taking the time we need to practice these techniques. 637 00:37:16,436 --> 00:37:19,916 Speaker 1: Kristen's military training required hours and hours of practice at 638 00:37:19,916 --> 00:37:22,876 Speaker 1: those sand tables. The seals also gave her the structure 639 00:37:22,916 --> 00:37:25,916 Speaker 1: she needed to take the necessary time to imagine and plan. 640 00:37:26,316 --> 00:37:28,996 Speaker 1: But Kristen can't do that nowadays because there are many 641 00:37:29,036 --> 00:37:32,516 Speaker 1: forms of activism keep her really, really busy and famished 642 00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:36,916 Speaker 1: for time. So you talked about the whoop and the planning, 643 00:37:37,396 --> 00:37:40,076 Speaker 1: and if I planned well, I don't have the luxury 644 00:37:40,116 --> 00:37:42,036 Speaker 1: to clianic because I feel like I'm always playing catch up. 645 00:37:43,436 --> 00:37:47,116 Speaker 1: The science shows the many benefits of mental practice. You 646 00:37:47,356 --> 00:37:51,316 Speaker 1: increase the chances of achieving realistic goals. You can discard 647 00:37:51,356 --> 00:37:54,356 Speaker 1: the impossible fantasies which make you feel defeated and a 648 00:37:54,356 --> 00:37:57,556 Speaker 1: bit guilty. You can even harness your brain to work 649 00:37:57,636 --> 00:38:00,956 Speaker 1: with you rather than against you, pursuing your objectives with 650 00:38:01,116 --> 00:38:04,516 Speaker 1: greater energy and self confidence. But as we've seen in 651 00:38:04,556 --> 00:38:09,036 Speaker 1: this episode, mental practice and whooping takes work. Successfully get 652 00:38:09,276 --> 00:38:12,076 Speaker 1: to our goals requires an honest look at the real 653 00:38:12,196 --> 00:38:16,436 Speaker 1: challenges we face, and doing it right takes time. It 654 00:38:16,516 --> 00:38:19,676 Speaker 1: might just be five minutes of quiet reflection, but even 655 00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:22,756 Speaker 1: those few minutes can feel prohibitive when we're already feeling 656 00:38:22,796 --> 00:38:26,116 Speaker 1: overwhelmed by the challenges ahead. But there's hope for all 657 00:38:26,156 --> 00:38:28,796 Speaker 1: of us. Kristin told me after our interview that our 658 00:38:28,796 --> 00:38:31,636 Speaker 1: discussion changed her that she's planning to bring whoop and 659 00:38:31,676 --> 00:38:35,036 Speaker 1: other techniques into her activism despite the hard work it takes. 660 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,916 Speaker 1: I've had a lot of goods and bads, and I 661 00:38:37,996 --> 00:38:42,156 Speaker 1: do find that the balance that we can find between 662 00:38:42,196 --> 00:38:45,476 Speaker 1: the goods and the bads, between seeing life is positive 663 00:38:45,516 --> 00:38:48,356 Speaker 1: but also knowing that negatives exist and a plan for 664 00:38:48,356 --> 00:38:51,236 Speaker 1: those negatives, and to try to understand that, you know, 665 00:38:51,396 --> 00:38:54,956 Speaker 1: life is not always going to be perfect, and it's 666 00:38:54,956 --> 00:38:56,996 Speaker 1: not going to always be fun. That you're going to 667 00:38:57,076 --> 00:39:01,476 Speaker 1: run into some hard times and some difficult situations. Taking 668 00:39:01,516 --> 00:39:03,836 Speaker 1: a long, hard look at the struggles ahead is not 669 00:39:03,876 --> 00:39:07,036 Speaker 1: as enjoyable as fantasizing about how amazing it would feel 670 00:39:07,156 --> 00:39:09,876 Speaker 1: so simply have achieved our goals, to have learned that 671 00:39:09,916 --> 00:39:13,316 Speaker 1: new language, run that half marathon, or created a more 672 00:39:13,356 --> 00:39:17,516 Speaker 1: inclusive society for people of all identities. Often it feels 673 00:39:17,516 --> 00:39:20,396 Speaker 1: easier to put on our rose colored glasses and ignore 674 00:39:20,436 --> 00:39:23,716 Speaker 1: the challenges ahead. But that's not the way we become 675 00:39:23,716 --> 00:39:27,876 Speaker 1: our best selves or our best societies. Even a podcast 676 00:39:27,876 --> 00:39:31,676 Speaker 1: about happiness recognizes that sometimes we got to look on 677 00:39:31,676 --> 00:39:34,756 Speaker 1: the dark side. The good news is that once we 678 00:39:34,796 --> 00:39:37,236 Speaker 1: take the time to do that, once we face the 679 00:39:37,276 --> 00:39:40,036 Speaker 1: obstacles head on, our minds give us the power to 680 00:39:40,116 --> 00:39:44,236 Speaker 1: harness the automatic energy that comes from mental contrasting and planning. 681 00:39:44,556 --> 00:39:47,956 Speaker 1: It comes really easy once we do the work. We've 682 00:39:47,996 --> 00:39:50,556 Speaker 1: just got to put the time in. It only takes 683 00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:52,916 Speaker 1: a few minutes a day, and the benefits of that 684 00:39:52,996 --> 00:39:56,156 Speaker 1: work can be impressive. I had to go through forty 685 00:39:56,196 --> 00:39:58,596 Speaker 1: some years of denying who I was. I'm looking in 686 00:39:58,676 --> 00:40:03,036 Speaker 1: a mirror and kind of hate myself. But I've made 687 00:40:03,076 --> 00:40:05,676 Speaker 1: it and I'm here and now I'm happy. So just 688 00:40:05,716 --> 00:40:08,596 Speaker 1: put your head down and be good to yourself. The 689 00:40:08,676 --> 00:40:12,556 Speaker 1: question why will you finally be good to yourself? Why 690 00:40:12,596 --> 00:40:14,876 Speaker 1: will you actually put your head down and take the 691 00:40:14,876 --> 00:40:17,636 Speaker 1: time needed to whoop it up, play that mental obstacles 692 00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:21,036 Speaker 1: videotape and move toward the goal You've been fantasizing about. 693 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,916 Speaker 1: When you're done, you can come back and learn more 694 00:40:23,956 --> 00:40:27,316 Speaker 1: concrete strategies for meeting your goals, ones that will cover 695 00:40:27,596 --> 00:40:30,476 Speaker 1: in the next episode of The Happiness Lab with me 696 00:40:30,916 --> 00:40:43,316 Speaker 1: Doctor Laurie Santos. If you enjoyed the show, I'd be 697 00:40:43,356 --> 00:40:45,636 Speaker 1: super grateful if you could spread the word by leaving 698 00:40:45,636 --> 00:40:48,516 Speaker 1: a rating and a review. It really does help other 699 00:40:48,556 --> 00:40:51,676 Speaker 1: listeners find us, and don't forget to tell your friends. 700 00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:54,196 Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about the science you 701 00:40:54,276 --> 00:40:56,996 Speaker 1: heard on the show, then check out our website Happiness 702 00:40:57,036 --> 00:40:59,316 Speaker 1: Lab dot fm. You can also sign up for our 703 00:40:59,356 --> 00:41:03,036 Speaker 1: newsletter to get exclusive content. The Happiness Lab is co 704 00:41:03,116 --> 00:41:05,956 Speaker 1: written and produced by Ryan Dilley. The show is mixed 705 00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:08,956 Speaker 1: and mastered by Evan Viola and edited by Julia Barton, 706 00:41:09,476 --> 00:41:13,076 Speaker 1: fact checking by Joseph Fridman, and our original music was 707 00:41:13,116 --> 00:41:17,756 Speaker 1: composed by Zachary Silver. Special thanks to Mia LaBelle, Carly 708 00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:22,916 Speaker 1: mcgliorre Heather Faine, Maggie Taylor, Maya Kanig, and Jacob Weisberg. 709 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:25,956 Speaker 1: The Happiness Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries 710 00:41:26,116 --> 00:41:27,916 Speaker 1: and Me Doctor Laurie Sanders