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Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and

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Speaker 2: the man of the house, and of course she didn't

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Speaker 2: talk back.

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Speaker 3: She was both obedient and.

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Speaker 4: Soft by nature.

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Speaker 2: She was a good woman who always made good choices.

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Speaker 3: We're good mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 5: Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy? Shared all

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Speaker 5: their bad choices and.

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Speaker 3: Sound out they were so bad.

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Speaker 5: After all, we're expert overshares and your new besties.

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Speaker 1: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 6: I can do it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Meila.

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Speaker 6: Happy Humpday, bitches, Happy motherfucking hump day. How are you feeling?

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Speaker 3: I feel good.

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Speaker 1: I'm sore because yesterday I got my ass kicked by

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Speaker 1: our guest on top of a rooftop with the sun

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Speaker 1: blasting in my face, seeming which I needed because I

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I've sat in vitamin D

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Speaker 1: for a while, and now that I have this bleached

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Speaker 1: blonde ass hair, I need a tean more than fucking ever.

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Speaker 3: So I'm really excited to have our guest here.

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Speaker 1: You might have heard me mention her on our episode

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Speaker 1: with Lizzie Jeff I was gushing about this guest and

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Speaker 1: so I'm really excited that we made it happen. The

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Speaker 1: turnaround was quick, honey, Okay, So, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Peloton instructor, pilate's educator, and just bad bitch overall Jungle Johanna,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for having me all.

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Speaker 6: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday, Johanna had a class at the Lulu Lemon gym

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Speaker 1: store slash store, which I didn't even realize there it

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Speaker 1: was a's a gym, it's a pop up called studio

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Speaker 1: yet so it's here I believe until mid April or March.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Oh, so there's not a gym there all the time.

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Speaker 2: No, that's a pop up that they have.

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Speaker 1: That's a build out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I know production needs a raise. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: a pop up and they have different instructors. They have

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Speaker 2: like run clubs, gym, so all different fitness modalities and yeah,

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Speaker 2: just to promote Lulu Lemon.

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Speaker 1: It was beautiful, It really was. Yeah, it was really nice.

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Speaker 1: So many beautiful black women doing pilates on this rooftop

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Speaker 1: that is the goal and it was I was like,

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Speaker 1: I've taken a lot of pilates classes. You were doing

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Speaker 1: some moves I hain't never seen before. The one were

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Speaker 1: you like come back behind and tuck your leg in.

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Speaker 2: The little Chris Yes.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what the fuck is this? So I'm sore,

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome. He did great. I saw he was killing it.

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Speaker 1: I was trying.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, let me not embarrass her.

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Speaker 6: It is an hour long.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I felt like fucking an hour and a half.

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Speaker 2: It was honestly the first class I've taught since July,

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Speaker 2: because now that I work for Peloton, I only teach

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Speaker 2: for Peloton, So that was my first in person class

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Speaker 2: and I wasn't nervous, but I definitely was like, what

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Speaker 2: the fuck are you doing? Like I was like I

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Speaker 2: did the warm up. At the end, I was like

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Speaker 2: it we all.

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Speaker 6: You know did pilate. You do pilates for Peloton.

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Speaker 2: I do pilates, yoga and sculpted.

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Speaker 5: So I guess I think everybody because of twenty twenty.

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Speaker 5: I just when I think of Peloton, I think of

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Speaker 5: the bike and special shoes because everybody was crazy.

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Speaker 1: You had specially had to I was doing this the

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Speaker 1: guy briefly.

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Speaker 5: I was talking to this guy briefially, this German guy,

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Speaker 5: and he was like obsessed with Peloton and he.

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Speaker 6: Was there was like a black girl. He was like

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Speaker 6: the black girl's so good, and he's like, you can

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Speaker 6: use it. He has to get special shoes.

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Speaker 1: I was like special shoes.

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Speaker 5: So every time I think of Peloton, I'm like special

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Speaker 5: shoes the bike.

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Speaker 1: I do remember twenty twenty everyone had them. I was

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Speaker 1: I was like, how do I get a Peloton but

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Speaker 1: they were on Facebook marketplace.

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Speaker 5: And shit, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna get the shoes

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Speaker 5: just to come over.

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Speaker 6: Shit.

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Speaker 2: I love that. That's so good. Yeah. I mean we

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Speaker 2: have multiple modalities. We have hardware for the row, the bike,

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Speaker 2: and the tread, and then polates is now its own

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Speaker 2: modality on Peloton. So plates yoga sculpt which is like

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Speaker 2: an athletic yoga, and then just like regular vinyasa and

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Speaker 2: power yoga, which I don't teach, so I teach yoga pilates,

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Speaker 2: and then a class called Yoga plus Pilates and it's

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Speaker 2: like half yoga half plates. Yeah, it's lit. It is lit.

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Speaker 3: I see the clips that you know.

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Speaker 1: I just love how how honest and real you can

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Speaker 1: be there, because you know sometimes when you partner with

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Speaker 1: corporate companies like this, they want to censor you and

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Speaker 1: they want to like adjust the way you speak, and

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Speaker 1: you ain't adjusting shit over there.

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Speaker 2: I mean honestly, when they reached out to me, like

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Speaker 2: when I got the DM, I was like, it was

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Speaker 2: a DM. It was a DM, they level the DAM.

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Speaker 2: It was actually like a month ago today or like yeah,

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Speaker 2: like around this week that I actually saw the DM

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Speaker 2: because I'd taken like a little social media hiatus and

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Speaker 2: then I opened my DAM and I was like, this

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Speaker 2: is interesting. But when I had the first call with them,

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Speaker 2: I was just like hey, like like, have y'all seen

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Speaker 2: my content for real? Like have y'all y'all sure, because

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Speaker 2: like I just want to be clear, like I you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like did you actually like your Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And they were like yeah, And I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: I just really don't feel like I'm anything like what

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Speaker 2: you guys have on the platform. And they're like, well,

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Speaker 2: that's why we're interested. And I was like, all right,

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Speaker 2: well let's let's make a shake.

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Speaker 5: That's wonderful because I know sometimes i'll go to like

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Speaker 5: some workout classes at my very white gym, and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: oh my.

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Speaker 6: God, bitch, why is this the playlist?

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Speaker 5: Like I'm like, wouldn't be rude if I put on

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Speaker 5: headphones while you're doing moroves? And then I just I

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Speaker 5: can't it just even the language sometimes and you think

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Speaker 5: you could get past because you just want to get.

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Speaker 6: Fine and workout.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true.

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Speaker 5: But I'm like, I'll just go to the fucking workout

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Speaker 5: machine because this is stressing me up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, that's true.

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Speaker 5: Like why were listening to Backstreet boys and shits not

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Speaker 5: the workout?

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Speaker 2: I was thinking, yeah, no for sure. And I mean, listen,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of people that don't like my music,

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Speaker 2: which like I don't give a fuck, But I mean,

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Speaker 2: I've always played hip hop in my classes. I've always

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Speaker 2: played I'm a house music girl too.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: I'm a Miami girl in a Jersey girl. I worked

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Speaker 2: at Nightlight for years. So I love like a techno

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Speaker 2: that's like gives you anxiety, Like I love it.

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Speaker 6: It's very Miami.

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Speaker 2: It'd very like cocaine. Yeah, I love that shit too,

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Speaker 2: out of the chest, Like that's my vibe at like

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Speaker 2: seven am.

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Speaker 6: Oh lovely.

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Speaker 2: But I mean honestly, like, I was very very nervous

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Speaker 2: to join PEB the time because of all the things

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Speaker 2: you talked about. And I've been like extremely pleasantly surprised,

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Speaker 2: like the ability to like be myself. I mean, obviously

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Speaker 2: there's been a few things that I've had to like,

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Speaker 2: you know, you got read the room, you know, I

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Speaker 2: read the room in whatever situation I'm in, corporate or not.

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Speaker 2: But they really embraced me to be me, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I know some of the members might not necessarily

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Speaker 2: like you know, because they're probably just used to what

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Speaker 2: they're used to and because I'm so different from the

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Speaker 2: other Polates girls on the app, they're probably like what

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Speaker 2: the fuck is happening? But the demographic that I've sought

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Speaker 2: out to represent are getting it. So like I don't

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Speaker 2: give a fuck, Like the amount of DMS I get

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Speaker 2: from like women of color and just like diverse bodies,

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Speaker 2: like thank you so much. I'm like, great, this is

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Speaker 2: exactly what I sought out to do. So like, if

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Speaker 2: you're not fucking with it, like I don't care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think like when I think of Pilates too,

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Speaker 1: I think, like what a white space because obviously pilates

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Speaker 1: is an expensive workout essentially, especially if you're doing like

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Speaker 1: you know, with the machines and stuff. And I remember

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Speaker 1: when pilates first became a thing, Like I don't even

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Speaker 1: the first time I think I heard of pilates was

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Speaker 1: maybe like Mabe, like ten or twelve years ago or

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Speaker 1: something like that, and I remember like being intrigued.

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Speaker 3: But then it was like, yeah, it's seventy five a class.

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Speaker 1: I'm like seventy five classes anymore.

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Speaker 3: But I feel like back when it first became popular.

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Speaker 2: It depends in the space, right, because if you're doing

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Speaker 2: like a private reformer class like for two people easily, yeah,

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Speaker 2: or if you're doing three reformers, it might be fifty

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Speaker 2: an hour.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: I live in Miami, where like it's the pilates Mecca.

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Speaker 2: Like I remember when I started doing my teacher trainings

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Speaker 2: because it was like me, like three or four other

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Speaker 2: girls that were like known for pilates, you know. And

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Speaker 2: I remember, like I was doing my first promo for

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Speaker 2: my teacher training and I was like, we don't need

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Speaker 2: any more influencers, we need pilates instructors. And now I'm like,

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Speaker 2: we don't need no more y'all. We're done, Like we

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Speaker 2: don't need y'all. We need fucking plumbers, bitch, Okay, we

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Speaker 2: need labor back, you know. And yeah, there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of studios. The esthetic studio is definitely like what the

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Speaker 2: people want or you know, what they see on TikTok

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Speaker 2: and Pinterest and things like that. And then you have

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Speaker 2: like the og Polize instructors who are like extremely educated

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Speaker 2: in the space, but a lot of them are like

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Speaker 2: fucking haters because they've got these new spaces coming in

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Speaker 2: that aren't necessarily teaching polates the way the Jish would,

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Speaker 2: which is like Joseph, love you down, but like that

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Speaker 2: man dead, honey, Like you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 2: I get honoring the legacy, but like if Joseph was around,

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Speaker 2: like would he have taught the way that he taught? Also,

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Speaker 2: like polates was invented by a man, like anatomically, like

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Speaker 2: women move differently, and there were certain things that like

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Speaker 2: we could do maybe a little safer, maybe a little

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Speaker 2: bit more accommodating to the body. And so you know,

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Speaker 2: my approach to Polates is like, yes, classical lineage respect

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Speaker 2: to the foundation, but I'm gonna modify, I'm gonna progress,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna add props. Right, if I'm teaching polates to

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Speaker 2: a larger body, I can't do the same movement on

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Speaker 2: my body or your body. If I'm teaching to someone postpartum,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna look different. Beginner, it's gonna look different. A

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Speaker 2: lot of people of color who maybe have absolutely no

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Speaker 2: fitness background because they can't afford it or whatever the

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Speaker 2: circumstances or not. People of color doesn't matter, right, It's

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Speaker 2: like you're not gonna go off rip and like bring

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Speaker 2: your legs over your head. It's just not accessible. And

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Speaker 2: so there's you know, so pilates is great. I think

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of like divisive language with pilates, which

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Speaker 2: also I think if you're on Instagram and you hear

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Speaker 2: some influencers saying that this is polates and this isn't

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Speaker 2: and you've never done pilates, You're like, this shit looks messy, bitch.

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Speaker 2: I don't even want to do pilates. I'm gonna go

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Speaker 2: to the weight room. Right. It's like it is unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: like not a very welcoming modality as far as like

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Speaker 2: my experience has been, which is why I you know,

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Speaker 2: do what I do to change it. But yeah, it

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Speaker 2: can be pricey. It could also be in the park.

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Speaker 2: It could also be on Peloton for the Lol, you

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Speaker 2: know like that. I think it just you gotta find

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Speaker 2: what works for you.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm that's why, that's why I'm so

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Speaker 1: happy to see you in this space. Because like I

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Speaker 1: was saying, like, when I saw it, it didn't it

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Speaker 1: felt like, oh, this isn't for me.

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Speaker 3: Oh I can't afford this.

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Speaker 6: Oh.

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Speaker 1: And then I remember actually going into pilates for the

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Speaker 1: first time and literally not saying one person of color

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Speaker 1: in the space, and I was like, oh, this is

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Speaker 1: some white people, this is some white woman. Shit. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so seeing someone like you kind of just like

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Speaker 1: disrupt the space is so important. I think it's in

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Speaker 1: so important and I'm so glad it's you. And because

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Speaker 1: also like pilates, I've I've done a lot of plates classes.

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Speaker 3: That shit is amazing.

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Speaker 1: It actually, it really is so amazing, it really is,

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Speaker 1: and it's so fucking hard.

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Speaker 3: I saw this.

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Speaker 1: I saw this like instagram of like a bunch of

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Speaker 1: like weightlifters and a pilates class and like all the

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Speaker 1: women are like thriving and they're fucking like fighting for

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Speaker 1: their fucking trembling because like they're the tiny muscles that

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Speaker 1: they're not accessing with their weightlifting, no.

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Speaker 2: For sure. And I feel like there are a lot

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Speaker 2: of other disruptors in the space too, Like I will

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Speaker 2: say that, like I feel like we're having like a

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Speaker 2: black girl Polates revolution right now, and I fucking love

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Speaker 2: to see it, you know. And there are spaces and

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Speaker 2: women in this space that you know, have open studios

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Speaker 2: and done their own certifications and are also really fighting

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Speaker 2: the good fight, which like it's not just me in

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Speaker 2: the space. I just think I have a very unique

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Speaker 2: perspective and I'm also kind of like unhinged, you.

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Speaker 6: Know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: So it's like she's a personality, she's an instructor, she's

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Speaker 2: on peloton, you know what I mean. And Polates was

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Speaker 2: really the first model I ever did because I had

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Speaker 2: a classical dance background, so Pilates was just like such

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Speaker 2: an easy segue for me. And I remember taking classes

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Speaker 2: and I really got certified because I could not afford

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Speaker 2: the classes. I was like, well, I'm gonna get certified

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Speaker 2: so I could go here for free because it ain't

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Speaker 2: no fucking way. So to your point, like one thousand

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Speaker 2: percent and this is twenty fifteen, so like, yeah, ten,

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Speaker 2: twelve years ago.

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Speaker 5: You know, do you remember last year? I think it

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Speaker 5: was like I think it was last year. There was

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Speaker 5: like an Instagram reel going around from like an instructor

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Speaker 5: in Philadelphia, and I want to say she was black,

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Speaker 5: and she was like, like it was it was a

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Speaker 5: big deal because she was like, why do you think

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Speaker 5: it's so expensive? Not everybody's supposed to be in pilates.

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Speaker 5: It was very racist. It was very weird because she

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Speaker 5: was obviously black. And I think they were talking about like,

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Speaker 5: I know you mentioned Jonathan whoever, who made who Joseph

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Speaker 5: Joseph saiged fucking up.

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Speaker 6: Jonathan the man of Pilates.

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Speaker 5: But I remember when people were like clapping back about this. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: they were saying, like maybe the person who assisted him

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Speaker 5: in developing this was a black woman.

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Speaker 6: And it was like this whole, this whole thing.

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Speaker 5: And I remember because I'm from Philly and she was

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Speaker 5: from Philly, and I was like, bitch.

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Speaker 6: But that now that you speak of it, I remember.

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Speaker 5: I feel like that like it became more explosive and

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Speaker 5: black women and Pilates became more loud about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have many comments about that. Anyway, and one

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Speaker 2: more thing where what is like is Pilates, Like the

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Speaker 2: the lineage of Pilates does it come from yoga?

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Speaker 1: So it's its own modality. Wasn't he like in he

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Speaker 1: was like on the tape like he was injured. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so like healed himself.

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Speaker 2: Joseph Pilates was actually and I know the Pilates police

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Speaker 2: are going to like clip this, so I want to

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Speaker 2: try to get my words right. Joseph Pilates was a

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Speaker 2: a man who was just like a very active person.

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Speaker 2: So he did boxing, he did gymnastics. He was just

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Speaker 2: like almost like oh G fitness influencer, bodybuilding, all the things.

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Speaker 2: But he grew up with like a lot of illnesses.

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Speaker 2: So he had like I think like inumatory arthritis. I

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Speaker 2: think he had like rickets, hraumatic fever. He had like

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Speaker 2: some stuff going on. So I'm pretty sure like his

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Speaker 2: his health and wellness journey was to heal himself. And

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Speaker 2: he became a prisoner of war. I believe it was

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Speaker 2: during World War One. I think he was in a

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Speaker 2: traveling circus at the time and they kind of were like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're German, it's the war. We don't know if you're

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Speaker 2: a op so we're gonna detain you kind of like

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Speaker 2: what's going on, you know, when you're an immigrant, and

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Speaker 2: then they Okay. Anyway, so he was in jail, he

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Speaker 2: was in this internment camp, and he started to get

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Speaker 2: inspired by the cats outside of his window, Like he

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Speaker 2: would watch the cats outside of his prison window, and

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Speaker 2: he kind of like took the springs off of the

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Speaker 2: prison bed and started making these machines. Wow, lives machines

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Speaker 2: and like training his like roommates and things like that.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty pretty sure that's like the gist of the

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Speaker 2: story and that's where it came from. But yes, there's

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Speaker 2: definitely a little bit of yoga influence fitness calisthenics, so

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Speaker 2: it's its own modality. I think it gets often compared

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Speaker 2: to yoga because it's on a mat, and also sometimes

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Speaker 2: the movements that you see, like we have a move

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Speaker 2: called shell stretch which kind of looks like child's post,

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Speaker 2: which is yoga. There's like a slight difference, so there

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Speaker 2: are some movements that mimic one another. And then also

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Speaker 2: I just think with like all these studios opening up,

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Speaker 2: it's like, well, if we're gonna have yoga, we might

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Speaker 2: as all have pilates cause same same, not same same,

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Speaker 2: but to you, same same, right, And I think that's

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Speaker 2: like most of it is, like just the lack of

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Speaker 2: education around plates. And so I do understand like the

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Speaker 2: need and the importance of like educating people of like

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Speaker 2: what polates is and what polates isn't. But like, baby,

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Speaker 2: I've gone to a class that's not pilates and it's

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Speaker 2: a weight class on a mat and I've had the

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Speaker 2: fucking time of my life. I've gone to a classical

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Speaker 2: polates class and it's been the most boring shit and

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Speaker 2: the music's been trash and the instructor's been dry, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I never want to do this again. Like

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Speaker 2: I kind of look past the modality and I look

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Speaker 2: more of like what does it feel like versus like

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Speaker 2: what's it called and what does it look like? Now

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Speaker 2: it's an educator, of course, I'm going to teach polates

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Speaker 2: the right way X, Y, and Z. But like so

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Speaker 2: many conversations online about like solid core is not polates, lagrese,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like, who fucking cares, bitch, Like move

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Speaker 2: your body, feel good, be happy, be healthy, Like you're

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Speaker 2: not making more people come to the space if you're

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Speaker 2: bashing them for doing it a different way, and like

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Speaker 2: I'm sure Joseph Pilottes did shit a different way and

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Speaker 2: made you know what I mean. Like it's like I

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Speaker 2: don't know, like I don't want to do what everybody's doing,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. I think it's important to

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Speaker 2: just call you know, be safe, say hey, this isn't Polates,

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Speaker 2: this is a variation, this is something different, this is complimentary.

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Speaker 2: But I just feel like it's so like like every

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Speaker 2: time I get on threads, I'm like I gotta get

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Speaker 2: the funk off, Like it's just so divisive, and it's

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Speaker 2: just like I feel like we're in a world right

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Speaker 2: now where like we're just so like hyper competitive with

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Speaker 2: each other and it's like, Oh, she's doing something wrong

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Speaker 2: and I'm gonna tear her down. It's like, Babe, her

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Speaker 2: studio is popping, and she's got a gazillion followers, Like

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Speaker 2: you might want to take note of some of the

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Speaker 2: things that she's doing that are working. Like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I just I hate the nasty shit about Pilates.

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Speaker 5: Right, I'm wondering, like how what has been your journey

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Speaker 5: in like the health and fitness, Like what brought you

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Speaker 5: here to this space.

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Speaker 2: I mean really, I started as a dancer and then

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Speaker 2: I was a model, and I.

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Speaker 6: Was more specific because earlier.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday she was like me and Divinity were dancers and

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Speaker 1: I was like strippers and then immediately like put them

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Speaker 1: on a pole.

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Speaker 3: I was like, in my mind.

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Speaker 2: I could see it, and that's her also her real name,

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Speaker 2: so like that's my growing No, definitely not, she's at

390
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Speaker 2: a girl. She's amazing to No, ballerina. I was a

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Speaker 2: ballerina of the classical ballerina. Was taking classes in New

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Speaker 2: Jersey and then I would take like summer intensives in Manhattan.

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Speaker 2: So like one of the Peloton instructors, Ali Love, who

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Speaker 2: has been on Peloton since forever. She used to that's

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Speaker 2: the one the guy used to like, I Love, She's amazing. Yeah,

396
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Speaker 2: she's still there. She used to dance together. So like

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Speaker 2: the pipeline of like dancer model wellness, Like I always say,

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Speaker 2: like it's like sex worker to breath worker, or like

399
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Speaker 2: dancer to pilates, or like poll to polates, like yoga

400
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Speaker 2: model to yoga. Like I feel like that's such like

401
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Speaker 2: an easy pipeline. But I was kind of juggling all three.

402
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Speaker 2: I was working in night life. I was teaching polates

403
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Speaker 2: and I was modeling. And really what got me to

404
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Speaker 2: like this moment is I got fired for my nightlife job.

405
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Speaker 2: I was working at club Space in twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, I remember that fucking.

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Speaker 2: Club I was making bread.

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Speaker 3: Is that in Miami?

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Speaker 2: It's in Miami, like two stories, uh huh. It's like

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Speaker 2: after Hour's rave clubs. Yeah, I'm like coming in there

411
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Speaker 2: dressed up looking like a dominatrix. I'm like yelling at men.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting tipped like three k and night. I fucking

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Speaker 2: love it there. I'm like the worst version of myself,

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Speaker 2: but I'm making money and that's that's all I cared about, right, So,

415
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Speaker 2: like I didn't care how I made it. I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to make it. And I got fired because I

417
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Speaker 2: cussed somebody out. As per fucking usual.

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Speaker 3: You were in your role, you weren't here.

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Speaker 2: It was actually a black girl whos snitched on me too,

420
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Speaker 2: but that's a story for another day. The one only

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Speaker 2: other black fucking bottle girl there, but she ended up

422
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Speaker 2: getting fired, so karma. But yeah, I just like I'm like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: what am I gonna do? You know? Because I was

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Speaker 2: working in this club, and like I wasn't doing anything

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Speaker 2: to enhance my fitness practice. I was teaching at studios,

426
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Speaker 2: but like I would call out right like I make

427
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Speaker 2: like one hundred bucks at a studio or three k

428
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Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck it, I'm tired, so I'm gonna take

429
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Speaker 2: my ship. So like, I'm not hosting pop ups, I'm

430
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Speaker 2: not posting content on Instagram. I'm just working in the club.

431
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Speaker 2: I've been making cash and I was like, fuck, bro,

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Speaker 2: like I'm never gonna make this money again. What the fuck.

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Speaker 2: I just moved into a new apartment with my husband.

434
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,199
Speaker 2: The rent was fucking expensive, and I got fired and

435
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck am I gonna do?

436
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,280
Speaker 2: You know? And you know, I had people in my

437
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,879
Speaker 2: life at the time that were like, you gotta do

438
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 2: the wellness thing, and I'm like, I hate the wellness thing,

439
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 2: and they're like, why am I? Because I hate the

440
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 2: fucking industry. It's fucking toxic. Everyone's fake. It's a bunch

441
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 2: of white bitches that are just not cool. All my clients,

442
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 2: you know, they're they think they're fucking Hollywood, you know,

443
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: like I'm chasing after them for sessions or you know,

444
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 2: they don't want to pay or they haven't paid me

445
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 2: in three days. Like I'm running around Miami, I'm training

446
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,840
Speaker 2: like these fucking people who I just I didn't want

447
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: to do, Like I was like, this can't be what

448
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 2: the rest of my life is going to be, Like

449
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:48,159
Speaker 2: this is not it, you know, and boom, I started

450
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 2: working with Alo and they kind of endorsed me. And

451
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 2: at the time, ALA was like really popping, and they're

452
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 2: still really popping, but I think they were just like

453
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,159
Speaker 2: really hitt and scene and they were really making like

454
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,679
Speaker 2: you know, a community space and they wanted to endorse me,

455
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 2: and I was like bet like fuck yeah, you know,

456
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 2: and that kind of allowed me to rebrand. So it's

457
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: like now I'm coming back on the scene and now

458
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,640
Speaker 2: I'm working with Alos, so like cool, like you look good,

459
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 2: all right, You're that bitch for real you always have been.

460
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 2: But like if Alo says you're that bitch, you're that bitch,

461
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? And then you know, my

462
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 2: certifications kind of started off, which like really what happened

463
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,679
Speaker 2: was like ALA was like listen, like we have to

464
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 2: reschedule your filming. We don't know when we can rebook you.

465
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 2: And I hadn't launched with them yet, and that was

466
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 2: going to be like my big you know, reveal, and

467
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, what the fuck am I going

468
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 2: to do? And I had a student of mine and

469
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 2: asked me, like where to get certified? And I gave

470
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 2: her recommendation. She was like, why don't you host certifications?

471
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 2: And I was like, why the fuck would I do that?

472
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 2: And she was like, well, why wouldn't you do that?

473
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 2: And at the time, I was working at the club,

474
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: so I was like, I'm not fucking doing that shit.

475
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 2: And then when the ALO thing was on hold, I

476
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: was like, fuck it. I remember I was in Jamaica

477
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 2: with my husband. I was like, fuck it, babe, I'm

478
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 2: just gonna do a certification. I'm gonna post it. And

479
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 2: it sold out and like I offered a scholarship to

480
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 2: black women as part of it, and I still do.

481
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 2: And then one certification turned into I'm gonna start next

482
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:04,640
Speaker 2: week my seventeenth certification, you know, and so like it

483
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,439
Speaker 2: was really rejection that redirected me to like what I

484
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 2: was supposed to be doing because I never thought And

485
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 2: then of course now Peloton and now other things and

486
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 2: now we're here and whatever that wasn't like I wasn't

487
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna be this polates plug like it just

488
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 2: I just all roads led to it. Like it was

489
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,639
Speaker 2: like I was doing so many other things that weren't working.

490
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 2: I was like, well, look, it's health, it's wellness, it's

491
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,959
Speaker 2: you know, it's there's nothing wrong with it. It's not

492
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, because it's like it's like, well,

493
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, I'm sober and I have twelve

494
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 2: years sobriety, and my sponsors like, dude, like you think

495
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 2: you're supposed to have twelve years sobriety and like sell

496
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,400
Speaker 2: booze to people like you say, that's like what God

497
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 2: wants for you.

498
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 6: And I'm like that's challenging.

499
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 2: I was like, well, it wasn't even challenging because I

500
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 2: wanted to drink or do drugs. It was just challenging

501
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 2: because when you're in that environment around those people, you

502
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: have to be you gotta be, you gotta be you

503
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 2: know what I mean. I'm like, I'm like, hello, wake up,

504
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: you're yelling, you're angry, you're fucking you know, toxic, because

505
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 2: that's how you have to meet these people, you know

506
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: what I mean. Your clients are fucking whacked out, and

507
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: so I don't know, you know, like I just kind

508
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 2: of did everything wrong where the only road was like

509
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 2: the right one, and then the right one was like

510
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 2: my purpose. Now of course I'm making more money than

511
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 2: I've ever did. I'm helping people in the process. I'm happy.

512
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 2: I'm not like cutting people out in the club, you

513
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: know what I mean. Like I at three pm, girl,

514
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 2: I mean, my shift's there. I would get to work

515
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 2: three pm. I too be at work at three pm.

516
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 2: I would go to work at nine thirty. I'd get

517
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 2: off at like noon or two.

518
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 6: Like if I got I forgot Miami closes.

519
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,199
Speaker 2: If I get off at eight am, that was like,

520
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 2: oh shit, you did like a light shift. Like my

521
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 2: ships were like thirteen three pm.

522
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 6: My space is no joke. That's deep in the after

523
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 6: hours of Miami.

524
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 2: I'd been and I and I hadn't even worked in

525
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 2: a because I was actually what actually got me. There

526
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 2: was during COVID that had an open air space and

527
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 2: I was teaching pilates classes there. So I was in

528
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 2: that bitch teaching pilates and the manager girl was like, oh,

529
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 2: didn't you used to be a bottle girl? And I

530
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 2: was like no, because I'd worked at other clubs and

531
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I don't do that anymore. And

532
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 2: she was like no, like we really need someone to

533
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: like fill and I was like I'm not interested. She's

534
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: like we work ar bosom, Like I'm not interested. I'm

535
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 2: not interested. And finally one day I was like, fuck

536
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 2: all work. And then I got my first check and

537
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 2: I was like like, okay, I'm here, I do this

538
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 2: now I'm back.

539
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 6: The nightlife can be addicting for sure.

540
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 2: The money. Yeah.

541
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,679
Speaker 1: Speaking of cursing people out and just just and just like,

542
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 1: you know, you're definitely a spicy bitch, period period, spicy

543
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 1: forward y.

544
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 3: Have you made any bad choices this week?

545
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: Bad mom?

546
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 4: Not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

547
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: I'm so good living, you know what. Speaking of cursing

548
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 2: people out, I actually didn't curse someone out, and I

549
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 2: felt like really bad, Like I was mad at myself

550
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 2: about that. I was in first class and I'm not

551
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: saying that do sound Hollywood. I just I was in

552
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 2: first class. My hair was down. It was like this,

553
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 2: and you know, if you've ever been in first class,

554
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 2: like you have a lot of room with the person

555
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 2: in front of you, even with the seatback like you have,

556
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: like I mean, at least much room even with the

557
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 2: seat recline. So I get in. I'm in seat like

558
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 2: two D. So I'm not in the window seat, which

559
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: I would have preferred. I'm in the aisle seat and

560
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 2: I have my hair and I go and I lean

561
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 2: on the like the chair whatever. And I guess I

562
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 2: did this or some shit. We haven't even taken off yet,

563
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's like, you know, there's

564
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 2: people on the phone and they're kind of annoying, but

565
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: then they take off and they get off the phone.

566
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: It's like you're in a common area, bit you gotta

567
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: just kind of roll with it. So I guess I did.

568
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 2: I don't even remember doing what I did. And she

569
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 2: was like, excuse me, and she called me from over here,

570
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 2: but something told me to like be here. I don't

571
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: know why, because I feel like if I was here,

572
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: I would have had more space and I would have

573
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 2: felt like buck. And she was like, ah, she was like,

574
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: oh my god, you have a white lady. She's oh

575
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: my god, you have the most like beautiful hair, but

576
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 2: like every time you flip your hair back, like it's

577
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 2: in my way. And I said, I said, Oh, I said, well,

578
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 2: what would you suggest I do with my hair? And

579
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 2: I don't remember what she said, but I just turned

580
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 2: around and I sat in the chair and I was

581
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: tired because it was an early flight. And then I

582
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: was almost like self conscious of my hair and then

583
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 2: like I just get made fun of my hair as

584
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: a child. I don't know if you can relate like deeply,

585
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 2: deeply bully harassed. So then I immediately was like triggered,

586
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 2: and then I immediately started like flattening my hair out

587
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: and then I was like wait.

588
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 3: Like trying to make it, tame it, and then I.

589
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 2: Was like, oh, maybe I'll just put it in a bun.

590
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: And then like my scorpion moo came out and I

591
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 2: was like, maybe you should rock This bitch is shit,

592
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And I just didn't say anything.

593
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 2: And then I like kind of like meditated myself to sleep,

594
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: like I just was like, go to bed, bitch, Go

595
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 2: to bed, bitch. And then I woke up and it

596
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: was funny because the girl in the Flight of ten

597
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 2: was like a baddie, Like you could tell like she

598
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 2: was just like a baddy and she was like, oh

599
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: my god, I love how much are you have? And

600
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 2: I was like really, I was like, because, oh, girl

601
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 2: behind me, don't And I told the story and she

602
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 2: was like, ugh, the audacity, and it was just like

603
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: I felt like she needed to get cussed out, you

604
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:36,479
Speaker 2: know what I mean.

605
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 5: I mean, I think what what you said was pretty good.

606
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 5: What would you suggest I do?

607
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 6: Bitch?

608
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 2: That's a pretty good you know? But I did she

609
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up after that. She did, But like

610
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: I felt like she was also with her husband. And

611
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 2: that's the other thing too, Like I have a husband,

612
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 2: and it's like your husband should be like shut the

613
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: f like, you know what I mean, Like sometimes you're

614
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: like sometimes my man was like baby like, so I'm like,

615
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: oh you, this is how you talk to people, you

616
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: know what I mean. And I don't even think like

617
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 2: there was obviously like undertones and microaggressions. I don't even

618
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,239
Speaker 2: think she realized how problematic she was breaking. But I

619
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 2: was just like, on the last day of fucking Black History,

620
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 2: literally here we are.

621
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 6: Then you're fuming in this two D right.

622
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 2: Then I go on Threads and say something and then

623
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,479
Speaker 2: like I don't know what's up with Threads, but like

624
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 2: they really hate women on that app. Every app they

625
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 2: hate one but really on threads and then it's a

626
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: bunch of white men like you're a fucking liar, go

627
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: post videos on YouTube, bitch, And I was like, yo,

628
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 2: I'm locked, Like what is happening? Like like I just

629
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 2: like I want to express myself. And I was like, cool,

630
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 2: let me go to threads and make it therapeutic. And

631
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: I was like, well, now I'm triggered twice. So I

632
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 2: just ate the little biscuit and knocked out, like that

633
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 2: was it.

634
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure that she's still thinking about it and

635
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: probably wondering does she think I'm racist.

636
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 5: We're doing a new thing and it's called We're karen

637
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:53,880
Speaker 5: Ing too, So.

638
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 1: I wanted to do it today actually did a yoga studio.

639
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: I love that reverse, Karen. That's beautiful thought about you.

640
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 6: In your heart.

641
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: It was moment my mom was white, So that's.

642
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 6: Easy adopted in your heart.

643
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 5: Whenever you're feeling like should I do that, I'm gonna go, Karen,

644
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 5: fuck going, quiet, quiet, go Karen.

645
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 2: I thought about that today because I was at the

646
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 2: hotel and it's a very you know, high end hotel

647
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: and was Hollywood and last night the elevator was broken.

648
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 2: I had to walk up seven places to stay. Oh,

649
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 2: elevator is still broken. Tell us the elevator is still broken.

650
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 2: What hotel? That's crazy. The elevator was broken and then

651
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 2: there was a fire in the kitchen. There was no breakfast.

652
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 6: That is ghetto as hell.

653
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, is someone going to take

654
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 2: like help me with my luggage? And they were like yeah,

655
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, should I go to the front

656
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: desk and like request? And I was like, let me

657
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: get the fuck out of here.

658
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: I need a SPA credit something.

659
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 6: I'm coming back.

660
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 3: My knees are in pain.

661
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 2: It was crazy last night. Then again, yeah, it was wild.

662
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, that's a that's crazy.

663
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 3: I approve of this reverse Karen moment.

664
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: I do too. I was just like, what the fuck.

665
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 5: Because you got to think, if fucking Barbara was there,

666
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 5: she would get some money back because she's going to

667
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 5: go to the management all the way to the top.

668
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: Why shouldn't Well, technically she's probably you're not paying for

669
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: this hotel, it doesn't matter.

670
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 5: But she could get fifty dollars rocture for breakfast.

671
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 2: Out the street except a friends and family. No, it

672
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: was wild. I kind of was like still and they

673
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 2: were like, we don't have any hot breakfast.

674
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 1: And I was like, the fuck these hotels don't get

675
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: the fuck O. When I was in Vegas, the water

676
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 1: was out the whole hotel. We couldn't take showers.

677
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 5: Vegas.

678
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 6: That's a big hotel.

679
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: Vegas is ghetto.

680
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: I was what They're like, yeah, but you can use

681
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: the SPA shower and I would get a SPA credit.

682
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 2: Vegas hotels would be like thirty nine dollars a night

683
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: just so you can go and gamble all your money.

684
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: You know, it didn't used to be that, used to

685
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 1: be luxury.

686
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 2: Remember back in the day, have you seen the W

687
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 2: in Vegas? Now that she is there's a W in

688
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: Vegas exactly, I don't know. It might not even be

689
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: there anymore. I remember I did like a stint where

690
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: I went to audition to like work at the pools

691
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: like for Vegas. And obviously I worked at the W

692
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 2: and I was like, I worked at the W, two

693
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: at the Whole, at the club in Miami, and I

694
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 2: was just like, people live here, like this is rough.

695
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: I forgot his resonances.

696
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 6: Whiskey Blue or something like that. Yeah, I did. I

697
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 6: did the one in Atlanta.

698
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 5: I opened it we have, we have commonality in our hospitality.

699
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 5: When you're like they're racist, I was like, they are racist?

700
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 5: How do you eat races in the night club?

701
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: Wild?

702
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: You mentioned your mom is white? Yes, so tell me

703
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: a little bit about like you're the early the early days, Johanna,

704
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: Who are you young, Johannah, before pilates where you're from?

705
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,239
Speaker 1: Who's your mom? And yo, daddy? Yes you're obviously your

706
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: dad's black. I'm assuming yes, you too, right, I love

707
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,679
Speaker 1: that even though right now, like justin Timberlake, I'm I

708
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: was telling them, I feel like I feel like I

709
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: look in sync with this blonde.

710
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: The first I'm sending to everybody right in a box,

711
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: I'm screaming. Justin's problematic too, now though, right? Why how

712
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: you do he said some ship didn't get arrested. I mean, listen,

713
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: no shake, well he got he says, problematic towards us, no,

714
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 2: just he just not doing the right thing. But towards

715
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 2: the black people. Well, the jand of thing was a

716
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 2: little he did throw her.

717
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: Well, you know, Brittany, they didn't know our boys, they.

718
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 6: Didn't know better.

719
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: Back then they were allowed to be mean too.

720
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: Women publish our boy Van Blith and I was watching

721
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,719
Speaker 1: his reeling posted the other day and he was breaking

722
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: down like White's journey from black to white dedication, white vacation,

723
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 1: the white vacationers.

724
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, and he was like, Miley Cyrus, remember she vacation

725
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 5: from being white when she was dating Biber.

726
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: Sure is in there?

727
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, Rachel, he said, he's ambiguous.

728
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: Who else was on there?

729
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: Kelsey the guy who's now with Taylor.

730
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 2: Swift's oh yeah.

731
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: And then in the comments and was like, oh, then

732
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 1: they also he had a he had uh, he had

733
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 1: a really random one. It was historic Hurst, you know,

734
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: the Hurst family, like they're super wealthy. But I guess

735
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: the daughter joined the Black Panther movement for a while,

736
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: but then got caught.

737
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 3: And then was like they.

738
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 6: Washed me.

739
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 2: Who was and militia like screaming, who's the white lady

740
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: that said she was black but she had an afro?

741
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 6: Rachel? Yeah, I kind of liked her.

742
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: We watched the whole I'm like, Rachel could do hair.

743
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 5: Rachel did beautiful art and brains, beautiful gown.

744
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 6: She's still doing.

745
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: She's she's committed.

746
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 6: She's the only fan she remember we looked recently, but.

747
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: She's still committed. She hasn't watched a white vacation.

748
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 5: Okay, what do you believe in? We went off topic,

749
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 5: but we have a I have a theory. I'm not

750
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 5: going to bring Erica into this. I have a theory

751
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 5: about sometimes you just have a white soul and sometimes

752
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 5: you just have a black soul. Rachel just might have

753
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 5: a black soul and a white body. And there's some

754
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 5: black people just have white soul.

755
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 1: So like she came back as a black, she was

756
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: white black in another life and came back white.

757
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 2: I don't know how that really. I just know just

758
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 2: because I don't have it.

759
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 3: I work with ancestry, and maybe there's something.

760
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: Like she might have something in the lithias. We don't

761
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 2: know about it, a little, a little couple of drops.

762
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

763
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 5: I remember the deep research. Her parents said, hell no,

764
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 5: we don't know what the fun happened with. Our parents

765
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 5: were like, Rachel is confused.

766
00:30:59,040 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: That's rol.

767
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom is white, my dad is black. He's Jamaican,

768
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 2: and my parents actually met in Manhattan. My dad this

769
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 2: is actually a funny story, a true story. My dad's

770
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 2: a chef. Well he's retired, but he's always been a chef,

771
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 2: and they used to work at a restaurant in Manhattan

772
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: called Giggles. So my mom is a waitress and my

773
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 2: dad is a chef. And if you know anything like

774
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 2: in service, you know, the window is like in the

775
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: back of the house, in the back of the tables,

776
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 2: and there's a service window. And my mom is a

777
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: white woman with a fat ass, always has been and

778
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 2: regular white, just wasp. She is from Detroit. She is Croatian,

779
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: blonde hair, blue eyes, five ten five eleve and she

780
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 2: always had ass, still does to this day shout out

781
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 2: to Leslie. And my dad obviously is Jamaican. And so

782
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 2: they would they would put her in the back tables

783
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: because the black people would usually send the black tables,

784
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: not on some racist shit, they would just choose to

785
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,239
Speaker 2: sit in the back. And so they were like, well,

786
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: have her be the waitress in that section. So she

787
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: would always talk to my dad through the window. And

788
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: then that's where they met Jungle. And I was born

789
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 2: in Jersey. My parents moved to Jersey to the burbs

790
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 2: because that's what people do. And it's interesting because I've

791
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 2: also seen this and I don't know if you can

792
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,479
Speaker 2: relate or if you've seen this, but like there's been

793
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: a lot of conversation about like the white mom on

794
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 2: like there's been a lot of bibracial look.

795
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 5: Everyone went that I've been seeing it and some of it.

796
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 5: I've been seeing it and it's interesting. Some of it,

797
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 5: I feel like it's salad. It's like a lot of perspective.

798
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: Yes, I will tell you that I feel like I

799
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 2: have a very unique experience because my mother is white.

800
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 2: But I was not raised by my mother. I was

801
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 2: raised by my grandma and my aunt. They were both

802
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: repairs of both Jamaica, and my mom worked mys My

803
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 2: mom worked on Wall Street. My mom went to work.

804
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 2: My mom really didn't raise me. Like, I don't have

805
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: a lot of memory of my mom. Like, I just don't.

806
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: Me and my mom were cool, but my mom is

807
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 2: not very maternal. Love her down. But like I was

808
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: raised by Jamaican people. My mother also has zero family.

809
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: I have no white family. I have no uncles, I

810
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 2: have no aunts. We just found out about an aunt

811
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: cousin who lives in Santa Barbara. I'm gonna meet them

812
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 2: at some point. I don't know. I had your only

813
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: child from my mom and my dad Jamaican, So yeah.

814
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: Thank you for her. He had kids before her.

815
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, multiple and multiple wives, but you know, he

816
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: just doing what he supposed to, don't And my parents

817
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: are still together. But I was not raised by white people,

818
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: and I think that the white mom conversation is usually

819
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: coming from like a girl who's raised by her white family.

820
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: Maybe the mom and dad weren't together, so now the

821
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 2: white side is racist and they're adopting all these white trades.

822
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 2: I didn't have that. So I was raised by Jamaican's,

823
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: you know. And I know being Jamaican and being Black

824
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: American is also different. Also not trying to have that

825
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: conversation because that's another exhausting one that I can't get

826
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 2: down with. But my dad is also very fair skinned

827
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: like myself. My whole family's fair skinned. But we're all Jamaican,

828
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: we're all black. But my dad is born in nineteen

829
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 2: forty three, so there was no like mix, like he'd

830
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: be like, you're black, you're black or black. That's it.

831
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: That's the end of the fucking conversation, you know what

832
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: I mean. But my dad is very white perceived, and

833
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 2: my dad speaks pure Patsoa. When he opens his mouth,

834
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 2: it's like he looks Puerto Rican. But it's pure Patswai

835
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: when he speaks, and so you know, growing up, I've

836
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 2: always acted like this. I always had black friends. I

837
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: was raised by black people. I remember I used to

838
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 2: get made fun of my hair because I'm also very

839
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 2: fair skinned, so I didn't physically look black, so I

840
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: didn't know. I remember I was like six years old.

841
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: I was on the bus, so they used to like

842
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 2: throw shit my hair, pull my hair, and I came

843
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 2: home crying and I was like, Dad, like, why do

844
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 2: I have hair like this? Like Mommy's hair is not

845
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,399
Speaker 2: like this. And my dad always kept his hair short,

846
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 2: so I didn't know kind of hair he had. And

847
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 2: my Dad's like, it's because you're black. And I was

848
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: like what and he was like, we're black. And I

849
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 2: was like, but we don't look black, and my dad

850
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 2: was like, we're black. Black is not a look. Black

851
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 2: is a feeling. There are many ways to be black.

852
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: You are black, be proud of your blackness. Never straighten

853
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 2: your hair, and of course I did, but my dad

854
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 2: was bury. My dad would take like Murray's fucking hair green.

855
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:36,439
Speaker 2: My dad always had my hair out like he hated

856
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: when I straightened my hair. He hated it. When I

857
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 2: braided it, he loved, you know, me rocking my hair natural.

858
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 2: And so like the white mom conversation, I don't relate

859
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 2: to it because it wasn't my experience. And the conversation

860
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,280
Speaker 2: is really that like if you're raised by a white woman,

861
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 2: you're problematic.

862
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 5: Or you're just gonna adopt a lot of perspective and

863
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 5: opinion and stereotypes that you don't recognize, yes, by way

864
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 5: of white perspective experience.

865
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 2: So people meet me and they're like, oh, your mom's black,

866
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, but thank you. I know, I

867
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 2: know what you mean. And it's not saying that I'm

868
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 2: discounting my mom in any space, you know what I mean.

869
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: But like, my grandmother was a no pair. My grandma

870
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 2: was the oldest of thirteen. My dad had six kids.

871
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: My mom was like, you know what, I'm gonna let

872
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 2: y'all do this kid shit. I'm gonna go to work.

873
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 2: And that's kind of what it was for me, you know,

874
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: But I always knew. I remember, like I had a

875
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 2: friend who's mixed and I was like, you know, when

876
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 2: did you have the conversation about being And she was like, wow,

877
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: I was in college in the swim team, and I said, well,

878
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: first of all, you're.

879
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:33,240
Speaker 6: How'd you are?

880
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: And I was many years what the fuck like?

881
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 2: And I you know, and it's like, it's just so

882
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 2: interesting to get these perspectives from different people that are mixed.

883
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 2: I've always and people be like, you're not black, You're mixed,

884
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, no shit, bitch.

885
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 6: You know what I feel like if you're black, you're black.

886
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 2: I feel the same way. But it's very obvious to say, like, yes,

887
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 2: I have a privilege, right, yes, I also have afforded

888
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 2: opportunities because of the way I look. I would be

889
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: an asshole if I were like, well, I've never experienced

890
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 2: anything and I don't really you know, I don't see

891
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 2: color like that would be dumb. But I use my

892
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 2: privilege to uplift the unprivileged. I use my privilege to

893
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 2: say the things that other people can't say because I

894
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 2: know I could get away with that shit. So I'm

895
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 2: gonna say my ship and that's how I've always been.

896
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing, Thank you for I'm well to

897
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: answer your question from my perspective. My mom is Latina

898
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 1: and also grew up in white spaces herself and my

899
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: the Mexican side of my family when they immigrated here

900
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: very much as tried to assimilate as much as possible,

901
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: even though they don't look white at all. My grandmother

902
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: is brown and looks very indigenous Mexican beautiful. But so

903
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 1: I don't.

904
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 2: I was.

905
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: I've been watching the rhetoric two on Instagram around like

906
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 1: if you have a white mom.

907
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 2: I hate it, Honestly, I don't like.

908
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: Well, I just think it's like another form of divisiveness

909
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 1: and it's just like you guys, it's just it's just

910
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm tired of feeling shame around the fact I didn't.

911
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: I didn't choose my fucking mommy or daddy. Shit exactly

912
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 1: Like I'm sorry, you know, but I very much feel

913
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: black and black as period. And I also feel Latina as.

914
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah I should.

915
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: So I'm very proud of both sides and I wrapped

916
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: both sides.

917
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 2: And anybody else has an opinion about it. No, absolutely,

918
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 2: I feel Latino too because my husband's Lions too.

919
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 3: You know, I'm there some Latin Latino in you.

920
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: I have Latino. There's a super Bowl. I was Puerto

921
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 2: Ricans where in Miami. People think people think I'm Dominican,

922
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 2: and so they'll speak to me in Spanish and then

923
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 2: I don't speak Spanish and they're like, oh, you're Puerto

924
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 2: Rican because like Puerto Ricans from Jersey don't speak Spanish.

925
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, I don't speak Spanish because I'm

926
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 2: not Latin. I'm black. And then they're like, you know black,

927
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 2: and I'm like I can't do this today, Like I fucking.

928
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 6: Let me hear your pata. Well we have sex. I'm like,

929
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 6: talk talk to me and pata no, see, I would cringe.

930
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 2: Like so my father loves a British accent in a

931
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:58,240
Speaker 2: Jamaican accent and I can't do either one. Like I can't.

932
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,760
Speaker 2: I've never dated dude with British accent. I've never dated.

933
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 2: I can't. I'm like, sounds like I'm good.

934
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 6: Wait, how did you meet your husband through his sister?

935
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: Actually? Really, his sister was like a mutual friend of

936
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 2: some friends that I used to be friends with. And like,

937
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 2: I know that was weird.

938
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 5: That makes me remember remember She's like, you have a

939
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 5: Matro Friday, are still friends?

940
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 2: I'm like that's yo. You never know life come at

941
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 2: your past, okay. And I used to work at a

942
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 2: club and it was her birthday. So the friend that

943
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 2: I was from and at the time, they were like

944
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 2: Lucy's coming with her brother. And I remember Lucy posting

945
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,800
Speaker 2: her brother on Instium because I was actually dating somebody

946
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 2: when I met my man, like we were on out.

947
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 2: It was his white boy. It was not good for

948
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: the brand, but yeah, money, so you know, it was

949
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,439
Speaker 2: in Miami. It was in Miami, and I was dating

950
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: this guy and he had money and he was so

951
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 2: mean and terrible. He was a ginger too, so he

952
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 2: was like really problematic, but.

953
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 6: I liked it.

954
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 2: I was like, I do too, but it was not great.

955
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 2: And he was funny though, and I was just like

956
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 2: this same working but I had like unblocked him and

957
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: we were kind of texting it, you know how it ghoes,

958
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: and I remember her talking about some dude. We were

959
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 2: just like trauma bonding over men in the dms, and

960
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 2: then she ended up posting her brother. So I was like, oh,

961
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 2: you and your man, you're good, and she's like, that's

962
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: my brother and all I wrote was oh. But I

963
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: wrote it like oh, that's all I said, and say

964
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 2: anything else, so I guess she she peeped it so

965
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: on her birthday, she brought her brother and I was

966
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 2: like he walked in and I was like, Oh, that's

967
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 2: Lucy's brother, and like immediately, I'm just like talking to

968
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 2: this man. And this man could not be more disinterested

969
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 2: and I thought he was playing hard to get, but

970
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: he just a gemini. He really didn't give a fuck.

971
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 2: So I'm talking to him and I'm talking to him

972
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 2: and I'm talking to him and I'm talking to him.

973
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 2: I'm talking and he goes to the bathroom and I'm like,

974
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 2: I'm like, Lucy. I was like, I'm gonna fuck your brother.

975
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 6: And she's like, not talk to him. Not No.

976
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 2: I was like, Lucy, I'm like what a fuck. I

977
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 2: was like, I'm gonna fuck your brother. And she was like,

978
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 2: oh my god. And my friends were like, I think

979
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 2: he really likes you. But I was like, really, because

980
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 2: he's not talking to me. And then I think it

981
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: finally hited me. My husband's also just like very awkward,

982
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: like we talked about it all the time and I

983
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 2: was like, listen, I kind of have a man like

984
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna hold you, like I don't, I

985
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck I'm doing, you know, And

986
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 2: he was like well, I'm not gonna hold you. Like,

987
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 2: I have a child, and i have a really problematic

988
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 2: baby mama, and I'm living on my friend's couch right now,

989
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 2: and I'm kind of not like that's what I got

990
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,879
Speaker 2: going on. And I was like, perfect, we could fuck

991
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 2: and never talk again. It's fantastic. Now I'm a stepmom

992
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 2: and we're married.

993
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 6: How does your stepchild she will.

994
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 2: Be eleven in March. She's right on the cups of

995
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 2: Pisces and aries.

996
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 6: Nice, she's nice. She's the same age as our kids.

997
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. I would love to like, yeah,

998
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 2: she's like she's Dominican and Argentinian.

999
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 6: Your husband's Argentina.

1000
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: Yes, before we get into step motherhood, because I have

1001
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 1: a lot of questions and I'm so curious. I'm also

1002
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 1: curious too, like what is your journey with like sex,

1003
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: and like your parents, like did they talk to you

1004
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 1: about sex? Because it seems like you're a very openly

1005
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: sexual person and I'm just curious, like, yeah, how that

1006
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 1: played out.

1007
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 3: In your in your life?

1008
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I lost my virginity playing truth ordare. Yeah,

1009
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 2: so like I never really held I think I was

1010
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 2: thirteen or fourteen, Okay, I was very fast and promiscuits

1011
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 2: in high school. But it was weird because they nobody

1012
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 2: really called me a hoe because that was funny. Does

1013
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 2: that make sense, you know what I mean? Like I

1014
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: felt like I wasn't out, like they were like, oh,

1015
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 2: she's just like that's Joe, you know what I mean.

1016
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 2: And I never like fucked older dudes or anything weird

1017
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: like that. So sex for me was never really like

1018
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: a sex with your parents. It was a sex. It

1019
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 2: was don't get pregnant, you know, like typical Jamaican shit,

1020
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 2: don't get pregnant. They taught me how to use condoms,

1021
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 2: but I also grew up with the naked mom.

1022
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: Okay.

1023
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 2: So, and I danced and I was always around women,

1024
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: and I liked women, like I was into girls at

1025
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 2: a young age. I didn't act on it young, but

1026
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 2: like I liked boobs, like I would just stare at

1027
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: like in the dance, like I was a dancer ballet,

1028
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: so like the girls would change and they'd be like

1029
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,720
Speaker 2: what are you staring at? And I'm like, you're tits,

1030
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: Like they're beautiful, like you know what I mean, Like

1031
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 2: I love I want its, you know. So I don't know,

1032
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 2: like I've always had this like sex is great and

1033
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 2: beautiful and all the things, but like, I don't find

1034
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 2: it to be taboo. I don't find it to be weird.

1035
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 2: I'm not like as kinky as you would think I

1036
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 2: might be. Like I'm kind of I'm kind of a

1037
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: pillow princess just you know whatever. But I just like,

1038
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like I had sex in school and

1039
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 2: then I didn't have sex for years because I just

1040
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: like didn't didn't. I had a lesbian phase for a bit.

1041
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: I had a girlfriend for like a year and a

1042
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 2: half and she was a virgo and was she was

1043
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 2: she a girly girl.

1044
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 5: She is she is, she was lesbian area.

1045
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 2: She had short she looked like Amber Rose.

1046
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 1: Okay, so she was a lipstick lesbian.

1047
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she also was very sporty. She was athletic.

1048
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 2: And then I had like my little short hair, like

1049
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: my hair was like that, but it was red like

1050
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:33,879
Speaker 2: it was giving Charlie Baltimore. I see.

1051
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: I know good about Charlie, but I knew that I'm

1052
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: stepping into my lesbian era. Guys, I know I've talked

1053
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: about this, but it's I want that.

1054
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 3: I think it's like beyond me now.

1055
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 6: I think that's beyond.

1056
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 3: I think it's just my hair now, like.

1057
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 2: Because I find like when girls go into their lesbian era,

1058
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 2: like they lose their fashion sense, Like just you know

1059
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: what I mean, I'm like, but why are you doing

1060
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 2: a rebox?

1061
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 3: Well, I mean I've sucked women before.

1062
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: It's more so she will always cause me by fun,

1063
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 1: like I'm just bisexual for fun.

1064
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 2: I love that.

1065
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 1: And I've tried to date a woman, but every time

1066
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 1: I fucked her, I thought about a dick. I was like,

1067
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: I really wish a dick was hair. I agree, and

1068
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: I still I'm always gonna wish a dick was there.

1069
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just gonna start like attracting more women because

1070
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: because is this is this racist? What is it not racist?

1071
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: What's the opposite of am I am I giving lesbians

1072
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: a stereotype because I have short hair?

1073
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 3: Yes, you are okay, Well at least we're clear about it.

1074
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: Yes, I know not all people who short to have

1075
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: are lesbians, but a lot of you guys are.

1076
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 2: Yes, guy me, I mean I was a lesbian.

1077
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 5: When I came back from college. First off, I've had

1078
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 5: short hair since I was eighteen. This guy is like,

1079
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, I'm dating a girl. He's like, oh, yeah,

1080
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 5: that makes sense. I was like, what are you talking about?

1081
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 5: I was like your hair, see I know?

1082
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's then along cut like I can't.

1083
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,399
Speaker 1: But you tried, you did the lesbian thing. Didn't work out.

1084
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 1: It didn't work out.

1085
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: I mean also I was very young also like this

1086
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: before it got sober, Like I was very much like

1087
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:49,879
Speaker 2: on drugs and.

1088
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 3: What kind of drugs.

1089
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: I did a lot of blow that was kind of

1090
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 2: my thing. But I was a drinker. Alcohol was really

1091
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 2: my thing. Black out, drinker, get violent. Yeah, when's your birthday?

1092
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 2: I'm Libra October twelfth. Okay, yeah, So I get very

1093
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 2: violent when I drink and I black out, and it's

1094
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 2: always been like that for me, and then you have

1095
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 2: the coke and it's like, wait, way worse. So I

1096
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 2: used to get violent with her, like we skin fistfights

1097
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: and shit, and she would like beat my ass because

1098
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 2: like I was out of control. And so she was

1099
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 2: actually the reason why I got sober, because she was like,

1100
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 2: you need to get sober, and did you go to rehab?

1101
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: I never went to rehab, but I did and still

1102
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 2: continue to go to AA. I'm very like open and

1103
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 2: loud and proud about that. And it was kind of

1104
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: like serendipitous because I was working at this boutique. I

1105
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 2: was living in Tampa at the time, and I got

1106
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: off of work at eight and the meeting was at

1107
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: A fifteen and it was around the corner and it

1108
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 2: was the gang Lesbian AA. So I was like, cool,

1109
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 2: this is exact where fun I'm supposed to be, you know,

1110
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 2: and immediately identified. I remember this guy's name was. I

1111
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: shouldn't have said his name. I'm sorry. It was at

1112
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 2: man named And a lot of people said things in

1113
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 2: the meeting, but the one thing I remembered was he

1114
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 2: shared and he was like, you know, I remember that

1115
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 2: I would go out every night and wake up every

1116
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 2: morning and I didn't know where I was and people

1117
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 2: were mad at me and I didn't know why. And

1118
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's me. I'm an alcoholic, Like

1119
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 2: that was it. That's what it took for me. I

1120
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 2: didn't like have to go back and forth like oh,

1121
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 2: maybe because I don't drink bourbon or because I was like,

1122
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 2: I got what, that's me. What do I need to

1123
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 2: do to get better? And and I went through that journey,

1124
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 2: in that process and the steps, and I relapsed a

1125
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 2: few times. I didn't stay sober from that one meeting.

1126
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 2: But did you have to change your circle? Yeah, I

1127
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 2: mean I moved. I moved. I moved to Miami, and

1128
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 2: even in Miami, like, but.

1129
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 3: I still would say, that's pretty challenge that I worked

1130
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 3: in night.

1131
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 2: I got to kind of like live vicariously, right, Like

1132
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 2: my friends were all getting sucked up and I was

1133
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 2: at work. So I would see my friends, They're getting

1134
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 2: sucked up. I'm dancing at the club at Live with

1135
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 2: like fucking Pasti's on and like a feather head dress.

1136
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 2: And then I go home and they're doing blow and

1137
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 2: I'm like right a night. So it was like perfect,

1138
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 2: Like I still got to be social, like I feel

1139
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 2: like I needed that experience. I also got so I

1140
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: got married very young in sobriety to a Frenchman.

1141
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: Oh this is not your first marriage, No, this is

1142
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 1: my second.

1143
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 2: I always knew i'd be somebody's ex wife for sure. Wow,

1144
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: it's not my husband's either. I think it's my husband's third.

1145
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 2: Three times a time, how do.

1146
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 6: I think it's your husband?

1147
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 2: I think it's the first one he did like someoney

1148
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: needed papers, did that, and then his ex wife and

1149
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:57,800
Speaker 2: then me.

1150
00:45:57,960 --> 00:45:59,919
Speaker 3: How long were you married to the Frenchman.

1151
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: Enough time for him to get a papers?

1152
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:02,720
Speaker 1: Also, it was a paper situation.

1153
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 2: It wasn't a paper situation, but I think the marriage

1154
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 2: was a paper situation. The relationship was real, but like, honestly, and.

1155
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 3: You married him early on, you said in your sobriety.

1156
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:12,760
Speaker 2: I married him early on in sobriety, early on in life, honestly,

1157
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: And I don't know. And his mom hated me. His

1158
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 2: mom like tried to put hands on me the first

1159
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: day we knew, Like she didn't like I was black

1160
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: and I had tattoos. It was mama was fighting. Yeah,

1161
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 2: it was crazy. It was just crazy. It was just crazy,

1162
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 2: but it made sense at the time. Like it was crazy,

1163
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 2: but I wasn't drinking and I was like, this man's

1164
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 2: going to keep me sober for like whatever reason, I'm

1165
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: not going to get in as much trouble, and like

1166
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 2: there was love there for sure, but I started fucking

1167
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 2: around on him like I was twenty one. I didn't

1168
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 2: want to be married, you know, no hope for that, No,

1169
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 2: And then I was like fucking this guy for like

1170
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,320
Speaker 2: years in the midst of it, and I think he

1171
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 2: knew and he's he just never said he knew, cause

1172
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,280
Speaker 2: one day he was just like, I think we should

1173
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 2: see other people. And I was like, really, I already am,

1174
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, all right, beb Then he started

1175
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: fucking this girl I knew from AA.

1176
00:46:58,920 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 6: Was he from AA?

1177
00:46:59,680 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: He?

1178
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: I was like, why you keep fucking like we're all

1179
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: not good, like we need help? Why are you fucking

1180
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 2: a bunch of help? Then she turned into a day,

1181
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 2: which is like, hey, no, tino'shade. You know, I'm here

1182
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 2: for the girls to gaze in the days. I just

1183
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 2: it was a lot. It was a lot. And then

1184
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 2: I think she ended up relapsing, which again, karma, you know,

1185
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 2: I don't wish that for you, but like God's plan,

1186
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: you know. And I think you just had a baby

1187
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: with a non Jewish girl.

1188
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I'm still like the path.

1189
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 2: But I love that. Actually I don't know. I don't

1190
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 2: know who she is, but it came up on like

1191
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:33,959
Speaker 2: something I got on my page and I was like.

1192
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: Oh, go for him.

1193
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 2: I love that.

1194
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,359
Speaker 6: And even married now to your current husband.

1195
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 2: Like a year and a half. I think we got

1196
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 2: married June tenth, twenty twenty four.

1197
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 6: And how long have you? How long are you guys together?

1198
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 6: Before that.

1199
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 2: We started dating. November twenty nineteen, we started dating like

1200
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 2: right before COVID.

1201
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 1: Wow, okay, did you guys did you have like a

1202
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: wedding because I feel like I didn't peep that on Instagram.

1203
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: No, I've been married twice and I went to the

1204
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 2: court toy. I just I'm not interested in that. It

1205
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 2: just seems really expensive and really nervoct. Like I'm just

1206
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 2: not I've never dreamed of my wedding as a child.

1207
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: I never was like I'm going to have this wedding

1208
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna like wear this Monique Lilier dress. Like

1209
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 2: I just never I thought having like a lit ass

1210
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 2: ever had that Monique Lilye.

1211
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember like when I was like, yeah.

1212
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 2: It's like that girl, for the fuck is Monique lily.

1213
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 3: It's a wedding design.

1214
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1215
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 5: Maybe I never dreamed of it as a little girl either,

1216
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,760
Speaker 5: because who the fuck is Monique Lilia.

1217
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: Away she has a storm on losa Oka.

1218
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like everyone was wearing her dresses for

1219
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 2: like she was like the moment, you know, and I

1220
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: just never thought of that. It was just never like

1221
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 2: I never thought that that was gonna be a thing

1222
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 2: for me and I was like, I gotta pay for

1223
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 2: this shirt, like my Jamakan daddy is not paying for

1224
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 2: no Monique lily A.

1225
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 5: Okay, the bitch, I'm wading for one expensive dress, one

1226
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 5: expensive story.

1227
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 6: They were.

1228
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 5: I was like, this one's beautiful. She's like, I write

1229
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 5: down the price. I'm like, why the bitch gotta write

1230
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 5: it down. She was over there for a minute. I

1231
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 5: was like, did you write it down? She like slid

1232
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 5: it back to me. I was like, fifteen thousand dollars.

1233
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,280
Speaker 2: This one was seventeen.

1234
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 6: I was like, okay, well.

1235
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go home, yeah, literally and talk about this.

1236
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 2: You just got married, right, Yeah, congratulations.

1237
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 5: But now that you say that, I was like, I

1238
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 5: don't know if that's in It's never really been in

1239
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:08,439
Speaker 5: my personality either.

1240
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 6: So I went to Vegas and I saw it.

1241
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 5: That shit looked lit and I were stripper shoes and

1242
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 5: we had a bachelor bachelor party.

1243
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 6: It was great. We had a good cue.

1244
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 2: Congratulations. I love that.

1245
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: I want to play a little game with you before

1246
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: we get into motherhood, because I do have questions, Like

1247
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: I said, but we play a game on our show

1248
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: called Trigger I'm triggered, and so basically, what I'm gonna

1249
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: do is I'm gonna say a word, maybe two words,

1250
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 1: and you just say the first thing that comes to mind.

1251
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 1: Don't overthink it.

1252
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 2: Look becauseie' is like lit okay, a bad habit doom

1253
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:48,959
Speaker 2: scrolling like chronically online. Oh Jesus yeah, bad astrology, sign

1254
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:59,320
Speaker 2: yours libra. Marriage, yeah, we hear, religion, no breastfeeding. Absolutely Miami.

1255
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, really you would leave, you'd have somewhere else.

1256
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 2: I can't, so I'm there. But I just like I

1257
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 2: love the like I go to Miami. I have my family,

1258
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 2: I enjoy the weather. I do my little routine.

1259
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: Why can't you because your haas has a restaurant as a.

1260
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: Restaurant and then my daughter my stepdaughter, okay, got it,

1261
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 2: step motherhood, No, no, okay. I would not do this

1262
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 2: shit again. Oh yeah, no, it's rough. I just I don't.

1263
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do it if I had the choice to

1264
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 2: do it again. If they were like, hey, like you

1265
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 2: can meet a man with no kids, I would. I

1266
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 2: would go there.

1267
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 1: Oh well, let's get into that. Sure, last time you

1268
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: had sex.

1269
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 2: Right before I left, like two three days ago.

1270
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 1: Favorite sex position on my back pillow, princess pillow, fucking

1271
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: princess favorite porn category interracial.

1272
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: Gang bang and latinas with big Tits. Big Tits always

1273
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 2: wanted big breast.

1274
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 6: Ballet.

1275
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,439
Speaker 2: I have fake boves and they're still small. Oh really Yeah, I.

1276
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: Like interest inter racial gang bang as well.

1277
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had to take a look at those.

1278
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 2: Something about the.

1279
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: Difference in color that turns me on, I don't know.

1280
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:09,839
Speaker 3: But also it has to be.

1281
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 5: The right white girl because the difference of color, or

1282
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 5: is it just like raunchy, Like.

1283
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 3: Well, it's both.

1284
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 1: I've said this before on the show that I really

1285
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: like black women sucking the shadow white women like they're

1286
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 1: like Dominican that I like gay porn, Liken, I like

1287
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: love me important secret addictions.

1288
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 2: I like two Men because I like Dick.

1289
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 6: I don't like.

1290
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: Keep every time I see it, like in like the

1291
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: like in the Options, I'm.

1292
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 5: Like, look, you'll never go I don't want it.

1293
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 2: I like Raunchy. I wanted to be like almost like

1294
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 2: Broke Black Mountain, like IM like two straight men cops playing.

1295
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 5: I like when they're straight and they're like pretending they're

1296
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:46,800
Speaker 5: they're they're.

1297
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 2: Not gay, like very like Interview with the Vampire, you know,

1298
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 2: Like I.

1299
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 6: Love Interview with the vampire.

1300
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:52,919
Speaker 2: Let's I did.

1301
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: I did just watch that again. I watched that on

1302
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: We're watching cam and he's.

1303
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 2: Like, I think, okay, what is going on? But it's vampires.

1304
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 2: And then Antonio Banderas's hairline and that ship is so

1305
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: tea the widow's wait, who's who's the black hair? He's

1306
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 2: like the ancient at the end, he's that's Antonio Bandera's end.

1307
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,879
Speaker 2: He's like the ancient. Fucking I forget the character name,

1308
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 2: that's Antonio.

1309
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 3: He's not bad.

1310
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 2: Lois no Louis No, Louis is red kid who is also.

1311
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:26,439
Speaker 6: Eating No, no, no, we're talking.

1312
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 5: You didn't see the new one. They redid it, No, guys,

1313
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 5: I didn't. They reached it with black people. It's a

1314
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 5: series of.

1315
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 1: Talking about the organic one. Anyway, I don't want to

1316
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: see any gay porns at all.

1317
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 6: You didn't look at him yet.

1318
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 3: I have looked at them. I have.

1319
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 6: I tried.

1320
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 3: I listened to you one.

1321
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 2: No don't.

1322
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: I've literally tried. And I'm to know my absolute favorite.

1323
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 6: And I really felt bad about it for a long

1324
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 6: time and I was like, of course you do you like.

1325
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: Wait the other so she Keem bought us a projector

1326
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 1: for the room and so you watch your own porn.

1327
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 2: Fu.

1328
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: I did do that. Actually I watched the projector, but

1329
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: I put the projector on the ceiling in the bed,

1330
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,839
Speaker 1: so it's all that's perfectly Oh my god.

1331
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, the lay back, and.

1332
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,520
Speaker 1: So I I was watching porn and then I was like,

1333
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go on my hidden folders. I'm gonna go

1334
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 1: fuck watch myself. And I was telling my friend Ashley.

1335
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I get really turned on

1336
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:22,240
Speaker 1: watching myself.

1337
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 6: Fuck.

1338
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 1: I was like, and watching myself masturbate is that weird?

1339
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 3: And she was like kind of.

1340
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, if I'm going to get

1341
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: turned on by anyone, shouldn't it be myself.

1342
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 2: I tell my husband he's not watching me, then he

1343
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: is cheating.

1344
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 6: I always saw, like what are you looking at?

1345
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 2: But it's always black girl. So I'm like, all right,

1346
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:41,320
Speaker 2: that's fine. Oh really because Atlanta's always get white bitches.

1347
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:42,839
Speaker 6: And I'm like, I don't look anything like this.

1348
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 2: My husband only while he watching the website is like

1349
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:50,799
Speaker 2: something ebony, like that's his ship because he only likes

1350
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 2: because you.

1351
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 5: Got to get off of the other one.

1352
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: My husband only wants like only.

1353
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: Like I'm going to look up that tonight and put

1354
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: it on my projector wants a picture?

1355
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 6: Do you guys?

1356
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:03,240
Speaker 2: Perfect?

1357
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: It won't be gay porn, love language gifts?

1358
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 3: Uh, deal breaker?

1359
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:19,359
Speaker 2: Huh. I don't think I have one cheating lying? I mean,

1360
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 2: what's like, what's the outside baby? I mean, having a

1361
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 2: baby on me is? I don't know.

1362
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 3: You might forgive, it might be forgivable.

1363
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 2: No, No, I think it's that Okay. I had to

1364
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 2: think that's crazy?

1365
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 3: Do you want more more kids? I do toxic trait?

1366
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 2: We did that one already. Oh no, we didn't do

1367
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 2: them scrolling. I think that's bad. How my toxic trait is?

1368
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 2: I gossip, y'all. I don't even hold you. I'm not

1369
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 2: even gonna hold you.

1370
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,919
Speaker 6: Those bitches a good moms. One of them like SKay

1371
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 6: porn and the other hold and I'm.

1372
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 2: Like, hey, off the record, like this stays here, and

1373
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, rely got us stop? You know what

1374
00:54:57,560 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 2: I mean. Kanzie's laughing because we were in the truck

1375
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 2: and she was it stays in the truck, and I

1376
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 2: was like, absolutely, it doesn't go anywhere. But that's I

1377
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 2: need to work on that.

1378
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 5: But you gotta get yourh off, you don't you don't

1379
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 5: tell anybody. It's gonna make a bad difference to but

1380
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 5: you might repeat it.

1381
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 2: I might not repeat it. I'm gonna just keep it

1382
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 2: in the vault, you know what I mean.

1383
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 3: So we can't tell you shit.

1384
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: If it's a secret, don't tell.

1385
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,399
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna listen. I'm not. I'm not gonna eir

1386
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 2: nobody shit out. But I'm definitely gonna use it as

1387
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,400
Speaker 2: like information. You know what I mean.

1388
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: You're gonna remember clock it? Yeah, as they do for sure,

1389
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 1: there clocking it. I read said that to me the

1390
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 1: other day. Femininity.

1391
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 2: I think femininity for me is just like being who

1392
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 2: you are.

1393
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 3: Masculinity.

1394
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 2: I don't love those terms because I feel like they're

1395
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:50,240
Speaker 2: like I feel like I'm a very masculine woman. Masculinity,

1396
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 2: I don't know, just like holding the ship down, turn

1397
00:55:53,719 --> 00:56:02,240
Speaker 2: on beard, manifestation, masturbation. I masturbate and think about getting pregnant,

1398
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:03,960
Speaker 2: which is really counterproductive.

1399
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 6: You have a breeding, kink, I don't.

1400
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: Have a breeding No. Wait, I think I misunderstood the question. No. No,

1401
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: that was like, that's not like what turns me on,

1402
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 2: But that's what I manifest because I believe that's a portal.

1403
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 2: Like every time I have sex, I think about getting pregnant.

1404
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: That's good celebrity crush.

1405
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 2: Honestly, not always. But I saw Tyrese three days ago,

1406
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: just physically, not saw him. I saw him like now,

1407
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 2: and I saw his person. Yeah, three days ago in Miami.

1408
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 2: He looked good. I don't remember the of his style.

1409
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 2: I was looking at his face. He looked good.

1410
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 6: Okay, Eric had a bad experience.

1411
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 2: I believe it, But I'm saying he looked crush. I

1412
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 2: mean celebrity crush. There's so many I like right now,

1413
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 2: I really love. I don't remember his name, Sterling, he's that.

1414
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: Oh he's on Paradise, Yesling Brown?

1415
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 6: What's this?

1416
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 2: Then?

1417
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 5: Is his name?

1418
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 2: Brown?

1419
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 3: Sterling Brown?

1420
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 2: Harley K. Brown?

1421
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 6: You know what he is?

1422
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: Looks he looks like a dad.

1423
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 2: When I like black man, I like very dark black men,

1424
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 2: like even you remember Kofe from Insecure?

1425
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 6: God, Yes, yes, I think.

1426
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 3: It's kind of short.

1427
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: Though it's unfortunate.

1428
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 2: But yes, they say about the short ones, we're all

1429
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 2: the same size when we're on.

1430
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 6: Our back, the short kings.

1431
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 2: I don't have a thing with height at all, and

1432
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm very tall. I've never had a thing with height.

1433
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 2: It does mother My husband is six four, but that's

1434
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 2: like the tallest man i've every day in my life.

1435
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:32,959
Speaker 2: My ex husband was five nine.

1436
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 3: Therapy.

1437
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 2: I'm not in therapy right now. I just the problem

1438
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 2: I have with therapy is like it happens on Monday,

1439
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 2: I deal with it, and now we're talking about a Thursday,

1440
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 2: and now I'm upset all over again. I need like

1441
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 2: a therapist, like on the spot, you know what I mean.

1442
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 6: So let's move through this.

1443
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 2: I've been in therapy but at this current moment, and

1444
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:59,439
Speaker 2: maybe I just haven't found the right therapist. But right now,

1445
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 2: like therapy, I'm not No, I'm not I'm not against it,

1446
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 2: but right now I'm just not doing it.

1447
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 3: Best advice you've ever gotten.

1448
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 2: My mom. My mom said the worst thing anyone could

1449
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 2: ever say to you was no. So like I just

1450
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 2: asked for suit, like the worst which you gonna tell

1451
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 2: me no? Like okay, And it's also like the no

1452
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 2: is not forever. So like I just be shooting my shot,

1453
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 2: shoot it. I just be in, hey, can I do this?

1454
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:23,920
Speaker 2: Can I do that?

1455
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1456
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 2: And like a lot of times people are so caught

1457
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 2: off guarth that they say yeah, you punk them literally

1458
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 2: into the yes.

1459
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 6: I love that.

1460
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 2: That was a fun game.

1461
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 6: That's it.

1462
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 3: You've survived. Trigger.

1463
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that wasn't that trigger.

1464
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 3: But okay, let's talk about motherhood.

1465
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and let's talk about let's talk about your journey

1466
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: in motherhood. Because you said you did want to have

1467
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: you want to have a child, So what's the what's

1468
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: your where's your Where are you at with that?

1469
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 2: I mean we've been trying, you know. But I'm also

1470
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 2: not home a lot, so there's that, you know. And

1471
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 2: my husband owns a business. You know. I be tired, bitch,

1472
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 2: I just be tired. I have a step daughter who's ten.

1473
00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 2: I met her when she was four. I did not

1474
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 2: want you children until I met my husband's daughter. I

1475
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: didn't want kids. It was not in the card to me.

1476
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: I used to always date like older men with money

1477
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 2: that had kids that were my age, so we never

1478
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 2: had to have those conversations. And I never thought about

1479
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 2: having kids as a child. I never thought about kids.

1480
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 2: I never had names for kids. I had friends who

1481
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 2: had kids, and I was like, oh my god, I

1482
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 2: love your kids, but like bye, I just wasn't into it.

1483
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 2: And I met my stepdaughter and I like immediately was

1484
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 2: obsessed with her and worked tight. We've always been tight.

1485
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 2: My husband's ex wife was extremely problematic. They just had

1486
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 2: a lot of unresolved shit. They also dated from like

1487
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 2: they were together for fourteen years, you know, so like college,

1488
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 2: you know, and then there was that the divorce was messy.

1489
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,479
Speaker 2: She was messy. He was messy too, but of course,

1490
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 2: like that's my man, you know what I mean. So

1491
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: I would definitely say when it comes to step motherhood,

1492
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 2: like I had therapy around that, and I have like

1493
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: some women that I like reached out to around that

1494
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 2: because I would say, like, all of a sudden, I

1495
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 2: had a kid in my life, you know what I mean,

1496
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, there's this kid in my life,

1497
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 2: and it's like I can't not show interest in the

1498
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 2: kid because then obviously me and this man are not

1499
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 2: gonna last, you know what I mean. It's like, oh, well,

1500
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: and I'm seeing how upset my husband is because my

1501
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 2: my husband's ex wife really tried to keep him from her,

1502
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 2: and my husband was devastated. I remember like the first

1503
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:21,920
Speaker 2: Christmas we spent together, he didn't get to see his

1504
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 2: daughter and we had been dating like barely a month,

1505
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 2: and he was like came to my house like in

1506
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 2: tears and I was just like, I'm gonna kill this bitch,

1507
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like I don't know the backstory,

1508
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 2: but like I know that, like the only person that

1509
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 2: should be make my nigga cries me and I'm you know,

1510
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 2: I'm kind of helpless, you know. And you know, when

1511
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 2: you're dealing with custody and when you're trying to get

1512
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 2: what you want, you know. I think my husband was

1513
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 2: just very accommodating, and it would piss me off because

1514
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, why is this fucking girl telling you what

1515
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 2: to do? And you're you know what I mean. Like,

1516
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 2: I will say I definitely did not mind my business

1517
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 2: when I should have. Like I'll be the first to

1518
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 2: say that, Like there were times where like I really

1519
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 2: needed to stay in my lane and I didn't. But

1520
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 2: at the same time, there were things that were happening

1521
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:07,720
Speaker 2: that were harming my stepdaughter. So it really wasn't about

1522
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 2: like when it came to their shit. I never got

1523
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 2: involved when it started to affect my stepdaughter, and like

1524
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 2: I don't even want to, but like even though I don't, like,

1525
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 2: this is the mother of my husband's child, right, So

1526
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 2: like are we friends? No, I still don't even want

1527
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 2: to get into details because I don't want to put

1528
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 2: her on blasts because at the end of the day,

1529
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 2: like good mom's bad choices, right, Like, sometimes you make

1530
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 2: a bad choice, you know, And I've had to really

1531
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 2: heal myself and forgive her, and a lot of it

1532
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 2: really wasn't directed towards me. I can't imagine what it's

1533
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 2: like to be a single mom. I don't come from

1534
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 2: a single mother household. I hope that if I do

1535
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 2: have kids, I don't become a single mom, but I

1536
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 2: also know sometimes it's bigger than you, and so I've

1537
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 2: really had to like take a step back and be like,

1538
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 2: I have no idea what this is like, and so

1539
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 2: like I might need to just kind of shut the

1540
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 2: fuck up right here, because I can't imagine seeing my

1541
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 2: ex husband with a new person who is now taking

1542
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 2: on the role of motherhood. My husband's ex wife is Dominican,

1543
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 2: so people think I'm my daughter's mom, and I know,

1544
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: and she's you know, tell my daughter, like, make sure

1545
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 2: you tell people that's not your mom.

1546
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: And it's like, does she call you mom?

1547
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 2: No? And I would never never even allow that she

1548
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 2: has a mom. She has a mom, you know, I'm Joe.

1549
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 2: She calls me Joe. That's what she calls me, or

1550
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 2: she calls me now she's like sassy. Like now she's like,

1551
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: oh stepmother. And I'm like, all right, bitch, you know,

1552
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 2: like I'm like, all right, girl, We've grown a lot.

1553
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 2: She did apologize to me last.

1554
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 1: Year Stepmom's mom, Mom, Mom, sorry mom.

1555
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I did try to make things right with

1556
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 2: her because I was talking about her online. Look, this

1557
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,000
Speaker 2: was a while ago, but I would like make memes

1558
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,480
Speaker 2: and shit, you know Ivy Petty and my husband is

1559
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 2: not on social media. Well he knew because I would

1560
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 2: show him. Yeah, I wasn't doing behind his back, and

1561
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 2: he says something to me. He was like, you know,

1562
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 2: you're really putting me in a really fucked up position

1563
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 2: when you talked about Gala. My stopta Gala's mom, because

1564
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 2: I have to choose you over her mom every day time.

1565
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 2: And at one point, how do you think all was

1566
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 2: gonna feel when she grows up to know you're talking

1567
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 2: about her mom. She's like, and I'm gonna have to

1568
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 2: defend you, and then I'm choosing between you and my daughter.

1569
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 2: And my husband made it very clear when we started

1570
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:10,720
Speaker 2: dying he's like, you always be number two to me.

1571
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 2: He was like, you always be number two to my daughter.

1572
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 2: He's like, and I think that's a okay number two

1573
01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 2: and a half. He's like, you will always be number

1574
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 2: two to my kid, and you either got to fuck

1575
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,840
Speaker 2: with it or this ain't gonna work. And I really

1576
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 2: was not used to being number two and anything. So

1577
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 2: it was very hard for me now because my husband

1578
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 2: and my fucking daughter are like this, like I'm the

1579
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:28,919
Speaker 2: third wheel always like I'm like, what are you'all doing today?

1580
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 2: He's like, we're getting pedicures. I'm like, y'all have fun

1581
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 2: like and I'm like, please go, like please enjoy that shit,

1582
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 2: Like I love that for y'all. But I tried to

1583
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 2: make amends to her a couple of years ago. She

1584
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:40,880
Speaker 2: really did not. She was not open to it. She

1585
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 2: also said some crazy shit to me and I was like,

1586
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 2: all right, bitch, like bet it's on site, and I

1587
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 2: blocked her. And it was funny because I did a

1588
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 2: retreat in d R a year ago and I told

1589
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 2: my really good friend Jasmine. She's like, what do you

1590
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,360
Speaker 2: think do your you know, we're all metaphysical baddies. She's like,

1591
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 2: what do you think dor is meant to tell you?

1592
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:57,800
Speaker 2: And I said, I think has something to do with my

1593
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 2: man's baby mama.

1594
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 1: Oh, because that's what she's from.

1595
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, I feel like she gonna

1596
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 2: something something's with her and she goes, why would you

1597
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 2: say that? Now? Mind you also like not to also

1598
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 2: air her shit out, but like she doesn't talk to

1599
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 2: her mom, her mom talks to me. It's it's a

1600
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 2: lot going on. It's a lot going on. But I

1601
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 2: always wanted to be like, I want my stepdaughter to

1602
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 2: be rooted in family, and I want my stepdaughter to

1603
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 2: know that Joe brings the family together. So in Christmas,

1604
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 2: her mom comes to the house and her sisters come

1605
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 2: to the house. And I don't want my stepdaughter to

1606
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 2: ever think of me being because I could be the

1607
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 2: way that their family could be, which would be just say,

1608
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 2: because if I told my husband I don't want the

1609
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:30,680
Speaker 2: people at the house, then people would not be at

1610
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 2: the house. But I was like, I think about my

1611
01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 2: stepdaughter before I think about anything else. And I'm in

1612
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 2: dr My husband texts me and he's like, yeah, I

1613
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 2: spoke to my ex and she wants to talk to you.

1614
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,600
Speaker 2: And I'm like about what and he's like, I don't know,

1615
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 2: but she wants to talk to you. She apologized me

1616
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:49,400
Speaker 2: and we got really close, which was like weird for

1617
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 2: me because my husband's like, oh, that's your friend now,

1618
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 2: and I'm like, all right, first of all, like this

1619
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 2: is your ex wife, so.

1620
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 1: Like he's probably y'all gona be over there talking about me.

1621
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 2: And I was like, I wouldn't even know this bitch

1622
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 2: if it wasn't for you, Like I'm doing this for shift,

1623
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 2: for you, and I'm trying to be cool for y'all,

1624
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 2: so like, don't play in my fucking face because I

1625
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 2: can make it difficult for you too.

1626
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 6: Thanks, But you did tell me I was making it difficult.

1627
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 2: Now I'm making it n right, Like let's what is

1628
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:11,240
Speaker 2: happening here? And it got like weird and she did

1629
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 2: some shit and I called her out, but I was

1630
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 2: a real fucking animal about it because that's just how

1631
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 2: I am and now awareness but you know, it was

1632
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:21,720
Speaker 2: great because now they talk right, because like I was

1633
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 2: in the middle of it, and it was really hard

1634
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 2: for me because I was like, this is y'all had

1635
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 2: a baby together, Like I need you'all to figure it

1636
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 2: the fuck out. Like, why am I in the middle

1637
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,560
Speaker 2: of the shit. I'm also traveling, so I'm like, I

1638
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 2: can't even help you with what you need help with

1639
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 2: because I'm not around, Like you need to talk to

1640
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 2: my husband, And so now they're cool, they talk. We

1641
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,320
Speaker 2: just went through a custody thing. We just signed over

1642
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 2: the paperwork, so we're trying to have one week on,

1643
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 2: one week off. We just my husband just had his

1644
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 2: full week with his daughter first time ever.

1645
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 3: Wow.

1646
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 2: My daughter's also like obsessed with her dad. She loves

1647
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 2: her mom. That's her mom. I don't like, we're very

1648
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 2: different politically. There's a lot of things that I just

1649
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 2: don't and I don't want to get into it because

1650
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,520
Speaker 2: I really don't want to shit on her because that's

1651
01:05:58,600 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 2: my daughter's mom.

1652
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,480
Speaker 1: Of course, that's it.

1653
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:02,720
Speaker 2: Two years ago, I would have aired all her shit out,

1654
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But I think that's what

1655
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 2: mother hit is about, like stepmother, adopted mother, you gotta

1656
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 2: put your kid first, and I'm gonna put my kid first.

1657
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 2: And like now I'm trying to like navigate because my

1658
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 2: husband has very gentle parenting, which I don't fucking agree with,

1659
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,840
Speaker 2: and I know her mom is on that ass which

1660
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:23,560
Speaker 2: I respect and like, like I want to call her

1661
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 2: and be like, girl, fucking what are you doing. So

1662
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:27,320
Speaker 2: like it's like that's the thing. It's like stepmom is

1663
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 2: saying one thing and dad is like, ah, fuck it,

1664
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:31,560
Speaker 2: she's not gonna respect me. So we had this conversation

1665
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 2: and we kind of got into a fight. Me and

1666
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 2: my husband said, take my stepdaught to school, and she's like, oh,

1667
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 2: where's my backpack? And I go, why would I have

1668
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 2: her backpack? And she's like, oh, I thought you had it.

1669
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,120
Speaker 2: I said, you know what, you never forget though, the

1670
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 2: fucking iPad. I said, put the iPad in the car

1671
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 2: and shut the door. Your dad will drop your backpack off.

1672
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:46,480
Speaker 2: And I called them and I'm like, she's not focused,

1673
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:49,200
Speaker 2: She's not you know. And so it's hard because it's

1674
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:53,440
Speaker 2: like I'm navigating a child that is my responsibility but

1675
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 2: has all these other thoughts and traits that didn't come

1676
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:58,920
Speaker 2: for me. And then she's being told something completely different

1677
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 2: by both of her parents, and I'm trying to reinforce

1678
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 2: the things, but sometimes the thinks I'm reinforcing I don't

1679
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,680
Speaker 2: actually agree with. That's why when you were like step motherhood,

1680
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 2: I was like, yo, I would not do the shit again. Right,

1681
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:11,840
Speaker 2: It's a lot. I navigated a lot better. Also, like

1682
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 2: my stepdaughter's like my homie. She's so lovely to me,

1683
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 2: Like she could really make things hard on me, and

1684
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 2: she never has. We have a great relationship. But that's

1685
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 2: daddy's girl. Like I'm like, I'll pick her from school.

1686
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:23,360
Speaker 2: She be like, where's my dad, And I'm like, I

1687
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 2: work and she'll be like okay. Like sometimes I feel

1688
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 2: like I'm the fucking help and I hate that because

1689
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel all these motherfucking bills and y'all

1690
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:34,720
Speaker 2: talk to me like like sometimes I get like and

1691
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, and now I'm like, I wanna have my

1692
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:37,720
Speaker 2: own kid. But it's also like.

1693
01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 3: Well, she's there's a lesson.

1694
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 1: There's there's definitely a lesson that you're probably meant to

1695
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 1: receive before you do have your absolutely.

1696
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I take the lesson. And also like sometimes

1697
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 2: I think like, well, maybe this is the only kid

1698
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,440
Speaker 2: I have because I haven't gotten pregnant yet, you know,

1699
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 2: so like I'm not just gonna throw her to the side,

1700
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 2: because you know, you know, she's my kid, you know,

1701
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,880
Speaker 2: she is a child in my life that I'm responsible

1702
01:08:01,880 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 2: for and like God forbid something happened with her mother,

1703
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:06,320
Speaker 2: she would be with this whole time, you know. So

1704
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:08,240
Speaker 2: it's definitely a lot of learning. It's a lot easier,

1705
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:10,360
Speaker 2: And I think what has made things a lot easier

1706
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:13,440
Speaker 2: is like the cohesion between the parents, Like we're all

1707
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,080
Speaker 2: in a group chat now, you know, if she needs

1708
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 2: help with something, if he's like, yo, I need you

1709
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,760
Speaker 2: to come get gala, I got it. You know. But

1710
01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 2: they parallel parent, they don't call parent. So it's it's

1711
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 2: definitely not the ideal situation, but it's way better than

1712
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:27,320
Speaker 2: it was.

1713
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 5: The shout out to you because I can't imagine stepparent

1714
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:32,480
Speaker 5: is like, would.

1715
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,719
Speaker 2: You be cool if your your you know, father's kids

1716
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:36,800
Speaker 2: had like, like, have you had that experience of like

1717
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 2: the father of your kids dating somebody else and having

1718
01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 2: to navigate that? How's that been for you? Yeah?

1719
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 1: You know, it hasn't been I think as in all

1720
01:08:49,120 --> 01:08:51,599
Speaker 1: encompassing as it has been for you. It's more so

1721
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:55,799
Speaker 1: I've actually prayed that my child's father would find somebody

1722
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:59,599
Speaker 1: that wants to be really present from my daughter, because

1723
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,599
Speaker 1: he was one girl for a while and my daughter

1724
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:06,640
Speaker 1: would come back looking busted as hair dry like and

1725
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 1: this woman has a child. This woman has a child,

1726
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 1: So I'm like, but like, what are you doing? Like

1727
01:09:12,280 --> 01:09:13,400
Speaker 1: her hair will be fucked up.

1728
01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:15,639
Speaker 2: That's how I felt with her mom sometimes. And I'm

1729
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 2: like and now I'm out in the street, right because

1730
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 2: like we'll do a drop off in a public place

1731
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:21,280
Speaker 2: and my kid's hair looks crazy and black girl's looking

1732
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:22,760
Speaker 2: at me like, oh, you don't call your kid's hair,

1733
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 2: and I'm like, it's not me.

1734
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 6: That is such a black violation.

1735
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:29,799
Speaker 5: I'm like, this is not this is not its like

1736
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:31,840
Speaker 5: a like a specific black violation. Like if you as

1737
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:33,519
Speaker 5: a mom, if you see a black child and the

1738
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,599
Speaker 5: kid hair is kids not done, it's like right like

1739
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:39,599
Speaker 5: and especially when I see mixed children, like mixed children

1740
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:43,040
Speaker 5: and the mom's white, I'm like, come on, this is

1741
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:44,680
Speaker 5: your responsibility to learn how to do this.

1742
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,280
Speaker 2: No for sure, even like in the beginning, like when

1743
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: they were having problems, like I remember my husband's like,

1744
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:50,360
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know how to do my daughter's hair.

1745
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 2: And I called my ex wife and she won't help

1746
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 2: me because they were going through it. And I said, Okay,

1747
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:55,519
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come over and I'm gonna teach you how

1748
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:57,360
Speaker 2: to do her hair. And that's when I met his daughter,

1749
01:09:57,439 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 2: like for real.

1750
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,959
Speaker 6: And I was like, ah, she needed a hairstyle.

1751
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 2: I was like, she has very soft hair. She doesn't

1752
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:04,920
Speaker 2: have hair like us at all. Her hair is like not,

1753
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,639
Speaker 2: she's got like a hair. But dads don't be knowing shit.

1754
01:10:07,680 --> 01:10:11,160
Speaker 2: They listen, let me tell you this man's ponytail. Ponytail

1755
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:13,880
Speaker 2: game on point. The edges is slicked. He got it

1756
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 2: going on.

1757
01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:15,160
Speaker 6: He got it, he got it together.

1758
01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 2: He got it together.

1759
01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 5: So what has your what is you guys' journey been

1760
01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:20,840
Speaker 5: looking like as far as your pregnancy journey, and like,

1761
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:21,800
Speaker 5: how long have you been trying?

1762
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what has that been? I have been trying.

1763
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:27,000
Speaker 2: I'd probably say since June twenty four.

1764
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 6: This is your first time ever in your life trying

1765
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:29,639
Speaker 6: to have a baby.

1766
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so that's not that Yeah. I mean I've

1767
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:35,080
Speaker 2: been pregnant before, Okay, when I was very young.

1768
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 6: Okay, But.

1769
01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:40,800
Speaker 2: It's interesting because my husband didn't want more kids. So

1770
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:42,839
Speaker 2: like we had a moment where we broke up because

1771
01:10:42,960 --> 01:10:43,920
Speaker 2: I was like, well if you don't, I was like,

1772
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be a stunt mom, but here

1773
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,920
Speaker 2: we are, so like compromise motherfucker, Like, what are we doing?

1774
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,080
Speaker 2: You know? And he's like, Okay, at five years, if

1775
01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 2: you're not already pregnant, we'll try. And we started trying

1776
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 2: in June, which was before the five years. We've still

1777
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:59,200
Speaker 2: been trying. I have a really great job and I'm

1778
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,559
Speaker 2: in a really good place financially where IVF is an

1779
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 2: option for me. IVF was really hard for me to

1780
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:07,280
Speaker 2: swallow because I feel like it's so taboo in the

1781
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,080
Speaker 2: black community, and I feel like there's such a huge

1782
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 2: stigma around it.

1783
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:12,679
Speaker 6: Did did the doctor tell you should try that route?

1784
01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:14,840
Speaker 2: Or you just said, Okay, here's the thing too, though,

1785
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:16,880
Speaker 2: like I've done a lot of Western medicine. It's so

1786
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:18,439
Speaker 2: funny because like I ended up talking to my dad

1787
01:11:18,479 --> 01:11:21,760
Speaker 2: about this, who like is rosta Jamaican? And I thought

1788
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:23,960
Speaker 2: I was gonna get a very different answer, and he

1789
01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:26,800
Speaker 2: was like, straight up, he was like, stop going to

1790
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:30,679
Speaker 2: Africans and drinking teas and do and blaying with the goats.

1791
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 2: He was like, go to the fucking doctor and get

1792
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,040
Speaker 2: the fucking help you need. He's like, cut that shit out.

1793
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,520
Speaker 2: He's like, I love that for you. Stop at the acupuncture,

1794
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:41,760
Speaker 2: stop at the massage, Stop at the womb healing go

1795
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 2: to the blood cloud doctor and I was like, okay, sir.

1796
01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:46,120
Speaker 2: He was like, if you want to be a mom,

1797
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:47,760
Speaker 2: you go to any lengths to be a mom. He

1798
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 2: was like, jah, got you. I know. So I also

1799
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 2: had people in my life in the past that like

1800
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,800
Speaker 2: just talked about how like IVF is playing God. Maybe

1801
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:00,479
Speaker 2: you're just not supposed to be a mom. And I'm like,

1802
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,960
Speaker 2: you know, it was really hard for me to wrestle with.

1803
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 2: And I still feel like there's no one I could

1804
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,960
Speaker 2: talk to about this. I don't know many women of

1805
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,160
Speaker 2: color who have undergo IVF that are open about it

1806
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 2: on social media. I also understand why they're not. I

1807
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,600
Speaker 2: don't think it's anyone's business, but it's something that I

1808
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:20,600
Speaker 2: would like to advocate for. And like, I have inexplained infertility.

1809
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:22,400
Speaker 2: No one's even told me I'm not fertile, right. I

1810
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:24,640
Speaker 2: have friends that get pregnant at forty you know, then

1811
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:27,040
Speaker 2: there's a conversation around like maybe you're not getting pregnant

1812
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:29,080
Speaker 2: because that's not your person and you're not supposed to

1813
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:31,759
Speaker 2: And I'm like, ah, and you know me, I'm a libra,

1814
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,439
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, maybe he's not mine. I that like,

1815
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:37,920
Speaker 2: I just I'm very impressionable, which is like also probably

1816
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:40,200
Speaker 2: my toxic trade. I listen to everything that anyone says

1817
01:12:40,280 --> 01:12:42,200
Speaker 2: and I fucking run with it. You know, that's my

1818
01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:46,120
Speaker 2: toxic trade for sure. And I don't know. It was

1819
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:47,880
Speaker 2: just something that was also something that like, you know,

1820
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:49,320
Speaker 2: cause you and I talked yesterday and you were like,

1821
01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 2: is this something you want to share? And I was like, no,

1822
01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:53,280
Speaker 2: because I know there's bitches that don't fuck with me

1823
01:12:53,360 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 2: that might prey on my ship, and you were like, what,

1824
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:56,679
Speaker 2: you're protected? And I was like, oh yeah, there's bitches

1825
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:58,400
Speaker 2: that pray me now and I still get the blessings right.

1826
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 2: It's just not something that I've ever brought. The people

1827
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:03,599
Speaker 2: in my life that know me very much know what's

1828
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:05,800
Speaker 2: going on, but it's not something I talk about on

1829
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:09,000
Speaker 2: social media. So I'm gonna freeze my eggs in May.

1830
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:15,880
Speaker 2: I'm doing that, and I'm gonna fucking do the things.

1831
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 5: Have you been like timing it, because like, I want

1832
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,599
Speaker 5: to get pregnant in the next eighteen to twenty four months,

1833
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:23,880
Speaker 5: are you like looking at your ovulation.

1834
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:25,519
Speaker 2: Also not doing that? Because okay, Like I'm also like

1835
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:27,200
Speaker 2: scared of like the oor ring because like the government's

1836
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 2: gonna have my empty Yeah, just get on.

1837
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 5: I mean you can just like take your temperature yourself

1838
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:32,960
Speaker 5: so you're not really like.

1839
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:33,559
Speaker 6: You're just jumping.

1840
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 2: But but I am because I'm doing like I'm making

1841
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:38,240
Speaker 2: sure I'm fucking within the window.

1842
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:40,799
Speaker 6: I'll here you are fucking I'm.

1843
01:13:40,120 --> 01:13:42,280
Speaker 2: In the window. But I'm usually not here during the window.

1844
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:43,040
Speaker 2: That's the other ship.

1845
01:13:43,120 --> 01:13:45,519
Speaker 6: The girl. You don't just get sneezed on and get pregnant.

1846
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:47,760
Speaker 2: But it's like the window will happen and I'm filming

1847
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:51,240
Speaker 2: Peloton or the women. The window will happen and I'm here,

1848
01:13:51,479 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 2: you know, like the window.

1849
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:54,600
Speaker 1: Are you willing to And I know you're at the

1850
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:56,960
Speaker 1: height of your career at this very moment, so this

1851
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,160
Speaker 1: is probably a fucking stupid question because I get it,

1852
01:13:59,439 --> 01:14:02,479
Speaker 1: But are you willing to slow down to have a child?

1853
01:14:02,520 --> 01:14:02,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1854
01:14:03,400 --> 01:14:06,799
Speaker 1: Because it sounds like maybe that's maybe possibly the missing

1855
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:10,639
Speaker 1: piece is like the slowing down your body also believing

1856
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:12,000
Speaker 1: you want to have a child, Like.

1857
01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:13,439
Speaker 3: Bits you don't want to have a child, you out

1858
01:14:13,479 --> 01:14:14,360
Speaker 3: you living your dreams?

1859
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:17,160
Speaker 2: Why I want to at least freeze my embryos and

1860
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:19,240
Speaker 2: then you know what I mean. I was trying to

1861
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:20,960
Speaker 2: slow down before I got their job at Peloton, I

1862
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 2: was trying to get pregnant for six months, so I

1863
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:26,080
Speaker 2: was already slowing down. I wasn't teaching as much. And

1864
01:14:26,080 --> 01:14:27,800
Speaker 2: then when I got the call from Peloton, I was like, well, shit,

1865
01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:28,519
Speaker 2: I guess I didn't.

1866
01:14:28,320 --> 01:14:30,879
Speaker 6: Have a kid right now, you can Peloton pregnant?

1867
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:37,240
Speaker 2: I for sure, I just have definitely. And that's the

1868
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:38,560
Speaker 2: thing too. The reason why I don't talk about on

1869
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 2: social media is like the unsolicited advice. Yeah, Like I

1870
01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:42,439
Speaker 2: talk about my acne and like people are like, I'm

1871
01:14:42,439 --> 01:14:44,000
Speaker 2: gonna send you this Korean skincare. I'm like, bitch, I

1872
01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:46,479
Speaker 2: don't fucking know you. And I'm cool with my pimples,

1873
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:48,880
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna talk to my dermatologist, not you, Becky,

1874
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 2: Like I don't fucking know you. Like that's the thing

1875
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:53,080
Speaker 2: with Peloton, Like Peloton really makes you know. You're in

1876
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,960
Speaker 2: people's homes and so people think.

1877
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,120
Speaker 1: They know you.

1878
01:14:55,160 --> 01:14:57,559
Speaker 2: People think they know you. Yeah, welcome, and I mean, listen,

1879
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:00,280
Speaker 2: it's beautiful, right, It's beautiful that people feel seen and

1880
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:03,400
Speaker 2: herd and feel connected to you. But the unsolicited advice

1881
01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 2: for me, so like that Also the reason why I

1882
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:08,120
Speaker 2: haven't talked about like my fertility journey is because I'm

1883
01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 2: really just not like, oh, just drink this tea and

1884
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,760
Speaker 2: and I'm like thank you, like thank you.

1885
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:15,960
Speaker 1: Ultimately, you know what you need to do. So if

1886
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,080
Speaker 1: the IVF is what you need to do, then fucking

1887
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,720
Speaker 1: do it. And I and I actually we have a

1888
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:22,120
Speaker 1: mutual friend that did iva. I love that me and you,

1889
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:26,400
Speaker 1: And she's a black woman Oka and she has and

1890
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:28,600
Speaker 1: she has a daughter now beautiful and worked out for

1891
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:30,839
Speaker 1: her and he's very happy and there's no regrets.

1892
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 3: And it was challenging.

1893
01:15:32,880 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm afraid of.

1894
01:15:34,320 --> 01:15:35,080
Speaker 3: It was challenging.

1895
01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:35,759
Speaker 2: I'm afraid.

1896
01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:38,880
Speaker 1: But and and you know, I think I could quote

1897
01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:40,519
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong, but I do think IVF like

1898
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:43,080
Speaker 1: it does, it takes a toll on your energy level

1899
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:44,120
Speaker 1: and all those things.

1900
01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:45,960
Speaker 2: So it scares me the most.

1901
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:49,000
Speaker 1: So just like, definitely do doing all your research and

1902
01:15:49,040 --> 01:15:51,360
Speaker 1: talking to other women and sharing in the space. Thank

1903
01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:53,240
Speaker 1: you for feeling safe enough to share in this space. Yeah,

1904
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:55,400
Speaker 1: I'm sure other women will who have had IVF might

1905
01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:56,960
Speaker 1: be reaching out to you with unsolicited.

1906
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:59,240
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that. I'm okay with it if you

1907
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:00,920
Speaker 2: went through the journey. I'm like, okay. It was like,

1908
01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:03,120
Speaker 2: oh I got pregnant five times, and I'm like, that's

1909
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:05,680
Speaker 2: I love that for congratulations. I just like, that's not

1910
01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:07,640
Speaker 2: helpful for me to hear. And then it was like,

1911
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:09,280
Speaker 2: you know, everyone was getting pregnant and.

1912
01:16:09,200 --> 01:16:11,800
Speaker 3: I was just like and I was what does that

1913
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:12,400
Speaker 3: feel like for you?

1914
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:15,280
Speaker 2: Now? It feels great? Now it feels great, Like seeing

1915
01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:18,240
Speaker 2: Clarissa in class yesterday was amazing, you know what I mean,

1916
01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:20,760
Speaker 2: and I knew she was pregnant. Now it feels great

1917
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:22,800
Speaker 2: because I'm also in a space where I'm getting everything

1918
01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:24,840
Speaker 2: I want. And I also like I had a lunch

1919
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:26,840
Speaker 2: with like the big boss at Peloton shot out gen

1920
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:29,680
Speaker 2: Cotter my bitch, and she knows. I was like, look,

1921
01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:31,160
Speaker 2: I'm taking me off to freeze my eggs and she

1922
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:32,559
Speaker 2: was like, oh wow. She was like how old are you?

1923
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:33,720
Speaker 2: And I was like I'm thirty seven and she was

1924
01:16:33,720 --> 01:16:34,360
Speaker 2: like yeah, and I was.

1925
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:37,160
Speaker 6: Like yeah, yeah, that's yeah, Like that's I mean firm.

1926
01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm not affirm. Yeah, but I'm not

1927
01:16:39,439 --> 01:16:39,880
Speaker 2: thirty one.

1928
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:41,679
Speaker 6: It's like I'm in denial about my age.

1929
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:44,519
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I'm not in denial about my age. I'm

1930
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 2: just saying and that's the hard thing too. Well, let

1931
01:16:46,200 --> 01:16:47,519
Speaker 2: me get to this point. I'll get to another point.

1932
01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:49,639
Speaker 2: And I was like, yo, like I'm a peloton instructor.

1933
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:53,080
Speaker 2: Like the likelihood of me being a peloton instructor is

1934
01:16:53,120 --> 01:16:55,240
Speaker 2: way less than me getting pregnant. So if I could

1935
01:16:55,240 --> 01:16:57,479
Speaker 2: do that, I could do this. And she was like yes,

1936
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,320
Speaker 2: So like that's kind of how I look at it.

1937
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:02,360
Speaker 2: And it's hard to talk to doctors because it's like

1938
01:17:02,479 --> 01:17:04,040
Speaker 2: I feel like they're just trying to sell you shit.

1939
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:07,120
Speaker 2: Like I had to do an ultrasound, and the ultrasound

1940
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:08,519
Speaker 2: had to be at a certain time because there's a

1941
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:09,960
Speaker 2: lot that goes into it, and like I won't even

1942
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:11,920
Speaker 2: worry with the details, but like you have to start

1943
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:13,840
Speaker 2: getting testing and the testing has to happen around time,

1944
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:15,519
Speaker 2: so like day nineteen, you do this, day five, you

1945
01:17:15,560 --> 01:17:17,200
Speaker 2: do this, day twelve, you do this. And I had

1946
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,760
Speaker 2: to do testing day nineteen. I was in New York

1947
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:20,559
Speaker 2: and they're like, you can go anywhere, you pay for it,

1948
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:22,880
Speaker 2: you get it reimbursed whatever. So I go and get

1949
01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:24,800
Speaker 2: the ultrasound and she's like, your amage looks good. You

1950
01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 2: have a lot of follicles. You have more follicles on this.

1951
01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:28,360
Speaker 2: I think whatever, and she's like, when are you starting

1952
01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:30,240
Speaker 2: your IVF journey? And like what I loved about my

1953
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:32,080
Speaker 2: IVF doctors, Like when my husband and I went in,

1954
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:34,040
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I don't want to do

1955
01:17:34,080 --> 01:17:35,000
Speaker 2: this and I don't want to do this and I

1956
01:17:35,040 --> 01:17:36,200
Speaker 2: really don't want to do and he goes, why don't

1957
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:37,479
Speaker 2: we just get a bunch of testing done and let's

1958
01:17:37,479 --> 01:17:39,800
Speaker 2: see which I liked. He wasn't pushing a dream. He

1959
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:42,120
Speaker 2: didn't say he's also Indian, he's brown, he was in

1960
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:43,960
Speaker 2: a hospital. It's a um like. He didn't say a

1961
01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:45,679
Speaker 2: word about He's like, let's just get some testing done

1962
01:17:45,720 --> 01:17:48,400
Speaker 2: and I'll see you after that. So this woman who

1963
01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:50,800
Speaker 2: was Asian was like, when a you're doing your IVF

1964
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:52,040
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I haven't real you know,

1965
01:17:52,080 --> 01:17:54,320
Speaker 2: we're just and she was like, well based on your age,

1966
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:57,400
Speaker 2: and I was like, bitch, fuck you, yeah, fuck you,

1967
01:17:57,680 --> 01:17:59,360
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it with you anyway. I don't like

1968
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:01,559
Speaker 2: what you're fucking talking to me. And I remember calling

1969
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,719
Speaker 2: my husband and then I was like feeling the feels.

1970
01:18:03,760 --> 01:18:05,040
Speaker 2: My husband's like a sheer doctor, and I go, know,

1971
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:06,599
Speaker 2: and he goes fuck her and I was like, all right, bet,

1972
01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:08,720
Speaker 2: and my husband doesn't want My husband thinks that if

1973
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:10,840
Speaker 2: we just fuck more, I'll get pregnant. That's like his thing.

1974
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:12,639
Speaker 2: And I said, babe, how long is the ovulation window?

1975
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:14,320
Speaker 2: And he's like it's like a week and I was like, okay,

1976
01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:17,200
Speaker 2: so it's not it's like twelve hours. I was like,

1977
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:19,040
Speaker 2: so I need you do some fucking research before you

1978
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:20,720
Speaker 2: talk to me about And that was the thing, like

1979
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:22,559
Speaker 2: I was not now, but like a year ago, like

1980
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,439
Speaker 2: I was just like angry. I would get my period

1981
01:18:24,479 --> 01:18:26,760
Speaker 2: and I'd literally want to cut myself, or like my

1982
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:30,120
Speaker 2: period would commet like thirty six or thirty seven days

1983
01:18:30,160 --> 01:18:31,720
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't take a test because I was like

1984
01:18:31,760 --> 01:18:33,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to take a test. Let me just wait.

1985
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:35,479
Speaker 2: And then I get my period and I would be

1986
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:37,680
Speaker 2: like devastated, suicidal.

1987
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:38,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry.

1988
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,080
Speaker 2: That's a lot.

1989
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:41,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1990
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:44,759
Speaker 1: So I understand the urgency behind it and the desire

1991
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:47,600
Speaker 1: to just just make sure it happens and wanting it

1992
01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:48,960
Speaker 1: just not leaving it too.

1993
01:18:49,240 --> 01:18:51,040
Speaker 2: But there's that, and then there's like, well I could

1994
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:52,760
Speaker 2: be forty, like I don't know, I just want to

1995
01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:55,840
Speaker 2: have a little spank bank if you will. You know,

1996
01:18:55,840 --> 01:18:57,160
Speaker 2: I just want to have a little backup, you know,

1997
01:18:57,240 --> 01:18:59,600
Speaker 2: just in case. And I am healthy and listen, my

1998
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,320
Speaker 2: husband and have the best ferm either. And my husband

1999
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:02,680
Speaker 2: was with his ex wife for ten years before she

2000
01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:05,280
Speaker 2: got pregnant. Oh wow, right, you know, and me and

2001
01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:07,120
Speaker 2: my husband have never used condoms, and this man's been

2002
01:19:07,120 --> 01:19:10,200
Speaker 2: pulling out for five years. So I'm like, what's wrong

2003
01:19:10,200 --> 01:19:12,559
Speaker 2: with your shit? And we did the test and it's

2004
01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:14,320
Speaker 2: like his sperm is fine. It's not great, it's not bad,

2005
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:16,639
Speaker 2: it's just fine. But my husband is always in the heat.

2006
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:18,960
Speaker 2: He's a chef. The balls always hot, that's by the thing,

2007
01:19:19,080 --> 01:19:21,240
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So you know he's not

2008
01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:26,880
Speaker 2: not his balls. That's a sting. She's at a barbecue balls.

2009
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:30,200
Speaker 2: Where's the pit barbecue sa barbecue balls? Yeah.

2010
01:19:30,240 --> 01:19:31,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, level.

2011
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:33,920
Speaker 2: He's also got like a vein. That's a problem. I

2012
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:36,920
Speaker 2: don't fucking know. Don't tell about that man's vein. No, no, listen,

2013
01:19:36,960 --> 01:19:40,479
Speaker 2: the ve Listen. The first off, the dick is digging. Okay, no, no,

2014
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:42,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't saying that. But there's a certain vein that

2015
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:45,439
Speaker 2: creates warming. And know this, there's like a vein and

2016
01:19:45,479 --> 01:19:47,800
Speaker 2: if this vein is too pronounced. No, it's like a thing.

2017
01:19:47,840 --> 01:19:49,480
Speaker 2: He went to the doctor, he went to the wologist.

2018
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:51,880
Speaker 2: He was you know, he doesn't smoke weed at the moment,

2019
01:19:51,960 --> 01:19:56,320
Speaker 2: but that boy smokes, so you know, we're trying. He

2020
01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:58,840
Speaker 2: does not want me to do IVF, but he's also like,

2021
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:01,040
Speaker 2: do whatever the fuck makes you happy. I support you.

2022
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:05,000
Speaker 2: I would love not to do it, but I also

2023
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:09,080
Speaker 2: think that like God made doctors, so like, let's use

2024
01:20:09,120 --> 01:20:12,840
Speaker 2: these people that are here to like help. But I will.

2025
01:20:12,880 --> 01:20:16,400
Speaker 2: I will be documenting the whole journey, which I think

2026
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:19,400
Speaker 2: I don't know because I was like, I'll document it

2027
01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:21,840
Speaker 2: when I get pregnant and then document the journey. But

2028
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:24,000
Speaker 2: it's like, and that's the thing. I'm terrified that it

2029
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,400
Speaker 2: doesn't work, and then I do it and it doesn't work,

2030
01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:28,160
Speaker 2: or like the eggs are bad, or like, hey, we

2031
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:29,720
Speaker 2: did it, you gotta do another cycle. Like I'm not

2032
01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:34,519
Speaker 2: even we're not even exact, we're exactly exactly, but like

2033
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:36,799
Speaker 2: I am a scorpial moon, so like I've been honoring

2034
01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:39,519
Speaker 2: those thoughts. Yeah, I mean I understand I'm a double scorpio,

2035
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:41,040
Speaker 2: which I'm always scorpial moon too.

2036
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm a Scorpio rising.

2037
01:20:42,080 --> 01:20:44,040
Speaker 2: If you were a scorpial moon, that would be so scary.

2038
01:20:44,080 --> 01:20:45,679
Speaker 3: I would be a devastating person.

2039
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:46,439
Speaker 1: I was a.

2040
01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:49,520
Speaker 3: Moon sagittarius.

2041
01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:51,200
Speaker 2: Oh my rising is a sagittarists.

2042
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:53,800
Speaker 1: We have a lot of Okay, yeah, I must my

2043
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:58,200
Speaker 1: son is a scorpio, but yeah, the scorpio moons are intense.

2044
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,240
Speaker 1: There's a lot, there's a lot of it's a lot. Well,

2045
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:03,479
Speaker 1: you're here to like transcend a lot of things. You're here,

2046
01:21:03,640 --> 01:21:06,080
Speaker 1: You're You're meant for this, You're meant for this ship.

2047
01:21:06,160 --> 01:21:08,280
Speaker 2: You know what I mean. I literally have a rebirth

2048
01:21:08,360 --> 01:21:10,720
Speaker 2: every other year. It's insane. Yeah, Like when you were

2049
01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:12,679
Speaker 2: in nightlife, you were a model, you had an agency,

2050
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:15,840
Speaker 2: you were from Teleson. Now you're doing it like it's

2051
01:21:15,880 --> 01:21:17,400
Speaker 2: like now you're gonna be a mom, step mom. Like

2052
01:21:17,439 --> 01:21:22,479
Speaker 2: there's definitely been a lot of transformation. I think that

2053
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:27,640
Speaker 2: also like God's plan always, always, always, always, always. So

2054
01:21:27,920 --> 01:21:29,840
Speaker 2: that's why I'm kind of like the IVF thing is

2055
01:21:29,880 --> 01:21:33,840
Speaker 2: like it's definitely been a struggle. But the more women

2056
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:36,320
Speaker 2: I talk to, and especially black women, they're like, ah,

2057
01:21:36,439 --> 01:21:38,400
Speaker 2: so fucking litly a lot of them. A lot of

2058
01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:40,760
Speaker 2: my friends can't afford IVF and they're like, bitch, I

2059
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:42,800
Speaker 2: wish I had the money to do it, please do it,

2060
01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:45,439
Speaker 2: And so I'm gonna do it. Do it. See what happens.

2061
01:21:45,560 --> 01:21:48,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, do it and go in and go in with

2062
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:50,960
Speaker 1: positivity and and and.

2063
01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:54,880
Speaker 3: Like maybe like releasing so much expectation. No, I like

2064
01:21:54,920 --> 01:21:57,639
Speaker 3: our bodies feel that like gripping on for that.

2065
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:00,880
Speaker 1: So I'm really excited to see what the next ten

2066
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:02,960
Speaker 1: to twelve months look like for you. And maybe oh

2067
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:06,280
Speaker 1: my god, you being a fucking pregnant Peloton instructor, that's

2068
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:07,000
Speaker 1: like next level.

2069
01:22:07,479 --> 01:22:10,400
Speaker 2: It's gonna give Rihanna, you know what I mean. I

2070
01:22:10,479 --> 01:22:16,120
Speaker 2: will be naked in all the yesstal.

2071
01:22:14,400 --> 01:22:16,280
Speaker 1: Do you know you know what Pelotons want to let

2072
01:22:16,280 --> 01:22:19,400
Speaker 1: you know, You're gonna have a whole like community of

2073
01:22:19,479 --> 01:22:21,960
Speaker 1: pregnant moms its sign ups. So don't don't play no

2074
01:22:22,080 --> 01:22:24,320
Speaker 1: games around Johanna's pregnancy.

2075
01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:26,120
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a whole demographic.

2076
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,960
Speaker 2: But listen, a lot of the girlies have been pregnant

2077
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,840
Speaker 2: on Peloton. There's a lot of months, and like that's

2078
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:33,080
Speaker 2: the most like and I really want to give like

2079
01:22:33,120 --> 01:22:35,680
Speaker 2: I really want to shout out the Peloton instructors, like

2080
01:22:35,720 --> 01:22:38,280
Speaker 2: I really need to give them their flowers, because these

2081
01:22:38,280 --> 01:22:41,320
Speaker 2: bitches do it all. Okay, you got Tunday who's on

2082
01:22:41,439 --> 01:22:44,559
Speaker 2: Sisters on BT. You've got Ali Love who just had

2083
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:46,240
Speaker 2: a baby and hang them out with a new program.

2084
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:48,800
Speaker 2: She's also on the Today Show. You've got Robin, I

2085
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:52,200
Speaker 2: mean fucking Robin Virgo, fucking multi like twenty seven times

2086
01:22:52,240 --> 01:22:56,360
Speaker 2: marathon runner, VP of instructor programming, fucking mama to fucking

2087
01:22:56,840 --> 01:23:01,080
Speaker 2: cookbook high rocks. Like these women are insane and they're

2088
01:23:01,080 --> 01:23:04,240
Speaker 2: doing all the things, you know, and so I look

2089
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:05,880
Speaker 2: at them like, oh, yeah, they could do it. I

2090
01:23:05,920 --> 01:23:09,720
Speaker 2: could do really really inspiring to see that, Like a

2091
01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:13,120
Speaker 2: bike gave them this platform to do really like all

2092
01:23:13,160 --> 01:23:14,879
Speaker 2: the things that they really want to do. My girl Camilla,

2093
01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:17,760
Speaker 2: she's from Argentina. She's singing, she's got her own songs. Now,

2094
01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:20,320
Speaker 2: she's got a podcast. Like it's just really beautiful to

2095
01:23:20,400 --> 01:23:22,400
Speaker 2: see that. And it just reminds me that, like the

2096
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:24,120
Speaker 2: sky's the limit and they're all moms and they're all

2097
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:26,400
Speaker 2: doing Camilla's not a mom yet, but like they're all moms.

2098
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,559
Speaker 2: They're all doing the things, and it's like, yeah, like

2099
01:23:28,720 --> 01:23:29,080
Speaker 2: why not.

2100
01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:32,400
Speaker 1: Absolutely moms can do it all, baby, Absolutely and use

2101
01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,519
Speaker 1: your platform, use what you got and use it all

2102
01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:35,880
Speaker 1: all the things for sure.

2103
01:23:36,320 --> 01:23:38,160
Speaker 6: Oh before we get out here, you have to pick

2104
01:23:38,240 --> 01:23:38,759
Speaker 6: a card.

2105
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:41,559
Speaker 3: I love and an affirmation. Do you have an affirmation

2106
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:42,000
Speaker 3: for us?

2107
01:23:42,080 --> 01:23:44,479
Speaker 2: I mean my affirmation is always my mantra, which is

2108
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:46,120
Speaker 2: do no harm, to take no shit, Do.

2109
01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:48,479
Speaker 6: No harm, take no shit period.

2110
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:51,120
Speaker 2: Also, I want to shout out Lulu Lemon for gifting

2111
01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:53,360
Speaker 2: the girls too beautiful set ya.

2112
01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:55,439
Speaker 5: I'm trying to get in my workout eras yeah, I

2113
01:23:55,439 --> 01:23:56,879
Speaker 5: look like that, I'll go, yeah.

2114
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:59,160
Speaker 2: I'm excited to see both of you. And also like

2115
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:00,920
Speaker 2: I want to give shout out to lul Lemon too,

2116
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:05,240
Speaker 2: because they really are putting on for women of color,

2117
01:24:05,479 --> 01:24:07,599
Speaker 2: like they they had that studio, yet there's a lot

2118
01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:10,040
Speaker 2: of black instructors that are teaching on that you know

2119
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:12,720
Speaker 2: studio over the month of the pop up. And I've

2120
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:14,840
Speaker 2: worked with a lot of brands, and I will say

2121
01:24:14,840 --> 01:24:16,519
Speaker 2: that like Lulu Lemon is really doing the work in

2122
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:19,559
Speaker 2: the community, and like supporting the nonprofit I work for

2123
01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:23,360
Speaker 2: and is really just they are who they say they are.

2124
01:24:23,479 --> 01:24:25,320
Speaker 2: And I think like as somebody who's really trying to

2125
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:27,320
Speaker 2: make changes in wellness and is really advocating for black

2126
01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:32,000
Speaker 2: and brown people. I cannot align myself with brands that

2127
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:33,640
Speaker 2: don't really believe in what I believe in. I've done

2128
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:35,120
Speaker 2: it before and it's come back to bite me in

2129
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:37,040
Speaker 2: the ass, and so like, I want to give them

2130
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:38,439
Speaker 2: their flowers because they're doing the things.

2131
01:24:38,479 --> 01:24:41,759
Speaker 7: Okay, shout out to Lululemon to get some Lulu Lemon guys,

2132
01:24:41,800 --> 01:24:59,160
Speaker 7: lululemones and Peloton obviously, Queen, Queen of Swords, what does

2133
01:24:59,160 --> 01:24:59,439
Speaker 7: she love?

2134
01:24:59,520 --> 01:25:00,160
Speaker 2: What's going on?

2135
01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:00,800
Speaker 1: What is she doing?

2136
01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:07,320
Speaker 2: She's black for sure, period? Oh gorgeous. Okay, well she's black.

2137
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:08,880
Speaker 2: There's some down here. I'm gonna go ahead and face

2138
01:25:08,920 --> 01:25:16,960
Speaker 2: a baby child. That's her and her baby on the throne, period. Right,

2139
01:25:17,200 --> 01:25:21,320
Speaker 2: that's a baby. Look, that's a baby. That's somebody's baby.

2140
01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:26,600
Speaker 1: Okay, is a baby, y'all. The Queen of Swords combines

2141
01:25:26,640 --> 01:25:29,280
Speaker 1: the mental clarity and intellectual power of the Suit of

2142
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:32,479
Speaker 1: Swords with the maturity and receptive receptiveness of the Queen.

2143
01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:34,680
Speaker 1: You have the gift of being able to use your

2144
01:25:34,680 --> 01:25:38,160
Speaker 1: intellect and unbiased judgment while also remaining flexible and open

2145
01:25:38,200 --> 01:25:41,320
Speaker 1: to receive input from other sources. As you lead from

2146
01:25:41,360 --> 01:25:43,800
Speaker 1: the head and not the heart, you are better able

2147
01:25:43,840 --> 01:25:49,760
Speaker 1: to discern situations without the influence of emotion or sentimentality.

2148
01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:50,840
Speaker 3: That word that I hopefully I said that right.

2149
01:25:51,040 --> 01:25:53,519
Speaker 1: You may believe that empathy or compassion towards others will

2150
01:25:53,520 --> 01:25:57,040
Speaker 1: distract will distract you from the task at hand. Instead,

2151
01:25:57,120 --> 01:26:00,160
Speaker 1: you prefer to know the how, what, why, where, and

2152
01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:02,479
Speaker 1: who of everything to help you make sense of your

2153
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:06,120
Speaker 1: environment and better understand others. The Queen of Swords notes

2154
01:26:06,120 --> 01:26:08,479
Speaker 1: that you are a truth seeker. You are open to

2155
01:26:08,520 --> 01:26:11,120
Speaker 1: hearing the thoughts and opinions of others, but ultimately you

2156
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:13,800
Speaker 1: filter that information to decipher what is true and what

2157
01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:16,759
Speaker 1: is not. When interacting with others, you will not tolerate

2158
01:26:16,840 --> 01:26:20,000
Speaker 1: mistruths or excessive fluff. You prefer to get to the

2159
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,240
Speaker 1: heart of the matter without engaging in too much chit

2160
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:26,760
Speaker 1: chat or gossip. The Queen of Swords suggests that you

2161
01:26:26,840 --> 01:26:29,040
Speaker 1: have an innate ability to tell it like it is.

2162
01:26:29,439 --> 01:26:32,280
Speaker 1: You are a quick thinker and highly perceptive, piercing through

2163
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:34,599
Speaker 1: the noise and confusion to get straight to the point.

2164
01:26:34,840 --> 01:26:38,280
Speaker 1: There's no beating around the bush or softening of your comments, opinions,

2165
01:26:38,320 --> 01:26:40,840
Speaker 1: or thoughts. You are upfront and honest in your views

2166
01:26:40,840 --> 01:26:43,439
Speaker 1: and you expect the same from others. For this reason,

2167
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:46,120
Speaker 1: many people respect your opinion and come to you for

2168
01:26:46,160 --> 01:26:50,720
Speaker 1: advice when they need clarity. As a determined, independent, and

2169
01:26:50,800 --> 01:26:54,000
Speaker 1: resilient person, you have established clear boundaries, and you are

2170
01:26:54,040 --> 01:26:56,960
Speaker 1: quick to call out someone who crosses them. People do

2171
01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:59,360
Speaker 1: not mess with you, not because you threaten them or

2172
01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:04,760
Speaker 1: inflict violets anymore, but because but because you SETX. You

2173
01:27:04,880 --> 01:27:09,160
Speaker 1: set expectations up you, Because you set expectations up front

2174
01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:11,559
Speaker 1: about how you want to be treated. Some people might

2175
01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:14,040
Speaker 1: be intimidated by you, but once they get past your

2176
01:27:14,040 --> 01:27:16,799
Speaker 1: tough exterior and develop a sense of trust and respect,

2177
01:27:16,920 --> 01:27:18,400
Speaker 1: they see your softer side.

2178
01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:20,759
Speaker 2: That was perfect, Honestly, that's fine.

2179
01:27:21,040 --> 01:27:22,320
Speaker 1: The cars never lie.

2180
01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:24,880
Speaker 2: They never lie. I love this. This was such a treat. Yeah,

2181
01:27:24,920 --> 01:27:28,720
Speaker 2: when do you come in to Miami soon? I want

2182
01:27:28,720 --> 01:27:29,160
Speaker 2: to cry.

2183
01:27:29,680 --> 01:27:32,040
Speaker 1: I would like to wait. We were supposed to go

2184
01:27:32,040 --> 01:27:33,960
Speaker 1: to actually when we were in Miami, like in twenty

2185
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:36,559
Speaker 1: twenty three, supposed to kick we were supposed to here

2186
01:27:37,040 --> 01:27:39,880
Speaker 1: far and like we were our friend.

2187
01:27:40,040 --> 01:27:40,479
Speaker 3: To the house.

2188
01:27:40,680 --> 01:27:41,920
Speaker 6: We were like where are we?

2189
01:27:41,920 --> 01:27:43,680
Speaker 2: We were like in a residential actress and I was like,

2190
01:27:43,720 --> 01:27:44,280
Speaker 2: oh nothing.

2191
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:44,960
Speaker 6: Well.

2192
01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:47,200
Speaker 1: Also, we were like on one every single day, we're

2193
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:49,479
Speaker 1: fucked up. And so I think your class was like

2194
01:27:49,479 --> 01:27:50,840
Speaker 1: at like nine am, and I was trying to like

2195
01:27:50,880 --> 01:27:52,479
Speaker 1: get I was like trying to like tell we're going

2196
01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:54,120
Speaker 1: to go to jungle h House class at nine, bitch,

2197
01:27:54,120 --> 01:27:55,360
Speaker 1: we were like probably up till nine.

2198
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:56,840
Speaker 6: I love that, and so we didn't make it. So

2199
01:27:56,880 --> 01:27:58,080
Speaker 6: Miami just has that energy.

2200
01:27:58,120 --> 01:27:58,759
Speaker 2: I don't.

2201
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:01,320
Speaker 6: I have to be careful because I get confused me.

2202
01:28:01,479 --> 01:28:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know what, they have a great one

2203
01:28:02,880 --> 01:28:04,479
Speaker 2: in the scene too, Like for people like that aren't

2204
01:28:04,479 --> 01:28:06,200
Speaker 2: trying to party, but like want to do social ship

2205
01:28:06,200 --> 01:28:07,960
Speaker 2: and wellness. Like Miami is absolutely.

2206
01:28:07,560 --> 01:28:09,880
Speaker 6: That we're gonna tap in with you next. Yeah, I'll

2207
01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:11,240
Speaker 6: doftary for you.

2208
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:14,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, itunerary for you, and like we'll do it, and

2209
01:28:14,360 --> 01:28:16,599
Speaker 2: like we'll make sure that I'm there, I know, because

2210
01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:18,519
Speaker 2: because you're going to get so fucking hot.

2211
01:28:18,640 --> 01:28:19,200
Speaker 6: I like hot.

2212
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:21,519
Speaker 5: I want to have my titties out, but like the human,

2213
01:28:22,080 --> 01:28:23,640
Speaker 5: I just like to be in the warm water with

2214
01:28:23,680 --> 01:28:24,080
Speaker 5: my titties.

2215
01:28:24,439 --> 01:28:24,519
Speaker 6: No.

2216
01:28:24,640 --> 01:28:26,120
Speaker 2: Same, Absolutely, we can definitely do that.

2217
01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:30,160
Speaker 3: We'll be there soon. And where can our people find you?

2218
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:33,200
Speaker 2: I only have Instagram, so junk Johanna, I'm not on TikTok.

2219
01:28:33,439 --> 01:28:34,400
Speaker 6: You on threads.

2220
01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:39,599
Speaker 2: I'm on threads. Unfortunately, apparently there's a TikTok floating up.

2221
01:28:40,040 --> 01:28:41,760
Speaker 2: There's there's some like fucked up tiktoks about me. I

2222
01:28:41,760 --> 01:28:45,439
Speaker 2: think I'm not eCos right now. Actually Instagram Junkle Johannah,

2223
01:28:45,439 --> 01:28:49,360
Speaker 2: and then Peloton. I'm gonna post today a sixty day

2224
01:28:49,360 --> 01:28:51,760
Speaker 2: free trial. So whenever this comes out, I'll post a

2225
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:53,280
Speaker 2: sixty day free trial and you can tap in with

2226
01:28:53,320 --> 01:28:54,960
Speaker 2: Peloton and try me and try the other instructor.

2227
01:28:54,960 --> 01:28:57,680
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I don't special shoes you.

2228
01:28:57,920 --> 01:28:59,800
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going I'm down in that app.

2229
01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:01,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'll send you.

2230
01:29:01,360 --> 01:29:01,680
Speaker 6: I got you.

2231
01:29:01,880 --> 01:29:05,280
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm excited, And y'all know where to find us

2232
01:29:05,360 --> 01:29:08,439
Speaker 1: at Good Mom's, Underscore, Bad Choices on Instagram. Make sure

2233
01:29:08,479 --> 01:29:10,240
Speaker 1: you chap into our retreats.

2234
01:29:10,240 --> 01:29:11,640
Speaker 3: We're going to Costa Rica.

2235
01:29:11,960 --> 01:29:16,840
Speaker 1: This summer and at Oregon Yes beautiful, and so we

2236
01:29:16,920 --> 01:29:20,120
Speaker 1: have a Mommy and Me Retreat July fourteenth through the nineteenth.

2237
01:29:20,200 --> 01:29:22,719
Speaker 1: We're almost sold out, so if you're interested, definitely tap

2238
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:25,599
Speaker 1: in right now. And then we have our Women's retreat,

2239
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,960
Speaker 1: which is also filling up fast, and that's the July

2240
01:29:28,040 --> 01:29:30,799
Speaker 1: twenty fourth through the twenty ninth. We have payment plans,

2241
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:33,439
Speaker 1: so don't let your bank accounts stress you out. But

2242
01:29:33,520 --> 01:29:36,080
Speaker 1: I would recommend putting a deposit the fuck down now

2243
01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:38,760
Speaker 1: so that it doesn't stress you out. So all that

2244
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:45,719
Speaker 1: information is in the episode description and we love you next,

2245
01:29:46,360 --> 01:29:47,000
Speaker 1: Thank please?

2246
01:29:47,720 --> 01:29:49,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, been so good.

2247
01:29:49,640 --> 01:29:51,960
Speaker 4: Can't you tell I went through it route. That's since

2248
01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:53,840
Speaker 4: till I find a will may might have been known.

2249
01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:56,479
Speaker 4: Art that used to be broken tail now got the blues.

2250
01:29:56,560 --> 01:30:00,879
Speaker 4: Dancing might be Yeah, say jilt. We ran our voices,

2251
01:30:01,040 --> 01:30:03,360
Speaker 4: patriarch and kept it in the box to exploit this.

2252
01:30:03,680 --> 01:30:06,240
Speaker 2: Women put the pee in power, so it's pointless. They

2253
01:30:06,320 --> 01:30:08,759
Speaker 2: want me to be good, so I make bad choices.

2254
01:30:08,920 --> 01:30:11,360
Speaker 2: Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

2255
01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:14,480
Speaker 2: It he's in on the cannabis in their bathbon.

2256
01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:16,679
Speaker 4: Walked in Bosts cap and I blew his cat boss

2257
01:30:16,760 --> 01:30:17,280
Speaker 4: hot dog.

2258
01:30:17,439 --> 01:30:18,439
Speaker 2: Now I'm immune to.

2259
01:30:18,479 --> 01:30:20,920
Speaker 4: The cat called her being the waisted straight to it

2260
01:30:21,080 --> 01:30:21,880
Speaker 4: like a dollar sign.

2261
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:23,160
Speaker 2: Mother, rent the lover when too.

2262
01:30:23,200 --> 01:30:25,960
Speaker 4: It's like a water summer where you're renting winter reessential

2263
01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,360
Speaker 4: will win the summertime I do what doll ain't know

2264
01:30:28,400 --> 01:30:29,599
Speaker 4: when that needs to run it by