WEBVTT - Is OnlyFans Cheating? with Anna Roisman 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:02.200 Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:07.320 Hi, he just had beautiful three days of skiing love Doug. 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.000 Doug is in doggy daycare. 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.960 My friend told me about this dog walker and she's like, oh, yeah, 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.560 she's great. I send my dog once a week. And 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:17.640 so the dog walker came over to my house and I'm. 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:21.560 Like, how many days are possible? She's like, we do 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:22.480 it seven days a week. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.000 I'm like, I'll take five. He needs a lot of 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:27.640 fucking exercise, this dog. And he is such a moose. 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:29.640 He's like my sister said, it's a cross. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.960 Between a gorilla and I. I was a lion. 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:35.720 I've got a lions, like a full lions man. 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:39.519 I know, he's so funny looking. Oh my god. So 0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:41.839 now I'm training him. I am training him. 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.479 I have a parenting coach, I have a dog walker, 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:47.720 and I'm also taking parenting classes with my friend for 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:48.600 her kids. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:52.440 It takes a village, Chelsea. So I am literally deep in. 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.000 I don't know what has happened in my life, but 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:57.319 I'm learning a lot and a lot of really good 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:59.920 stuff about parenting in case I ever have to parent 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:02.560 a vagabond, which apparently I do. 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.039 Yeah, I mean, the thing is a tired dog is 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.640 a good dog, so getting him in playdates and everything, 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:08.399 that's perfect. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's very friendly. 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:12.600 She said, he's very She sent me a text to 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.480 dog Walker and she said he is one of the 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:19.560 most compassionate, compassionate, caring dogs I've ever met. And I'm like, 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.720 what a funny thing to say about a dog compassionate? 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:26.560 How did he just demonstrate that compassion. 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:28.760 Whose soul is in him? He must be an old 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.440 time I don't know. Maybe it's my mom. She's got No, 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:33.520 it's definitely not my mom. She wouldn't be like that. 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.760 But anyway, it's pretty cute and Bertice is really perking up. 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.440 She tries to play with him and then she like 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.160 barks at him, and it's pretty cute. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.240 They have a nice relationship and it'll keep changing too. 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.640 It's like they say, like the first three days the 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:48.520 dog is like adjusting. The first three weeks, they're like 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.520 getting to know whoever else is in the house. In 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.800 the first three months, like after three months they're sort 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.520 of like in the home. And you know, even today, 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:59.160 like Mimsy and Wendell are like snuggling and they just 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:00.080 started doing that. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.720 This week and it's just lovely. That is cute. 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.840 Yeah, so yeah, I had a full house this weekend 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:08.120 in Whistler. I had about nine people sleeping out my house, 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.080 and my house doesn't really fit nine people, so it 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:13.040 was close quarters and fun and a lot of my 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.359 friends I have just kid It's like a daycare here. 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.799 There's just kids running through my house all the time. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:19.640 It's so funny. 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:22.320 But you love a. 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.919 Teenager, and you know what, teenagers I think love you too, 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:26.679 because you're not afraid to talk about this stuff like 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.320 their parents won't talk about with them anyway. 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.440 So I have shows this weekend, That's what I'm doing. 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.400 I have a show tonight in Saskatoon, so I'm heading 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:38.760 out soon. And then I have a show tomorrow night 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:43.240 in Winnipeg, Canada. And then we added another Sydney show, 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:47.720 we added another Vancouver show Awesome, and we're adding a 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:48.359 bunch of shows. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:48.880 Yeah. 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:53.079 Well, Los Angeles has floated away over the last several days. 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.040 That's what's happening over here. Was it really bad? 0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:59.040 The river at the La River is like a monster. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:01.239 It's crazy, and apparently a lot of parts in the 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:02.560 valley are totally flooded. 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.240 Oh god, I don't know it. It would rain for 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.280 a week last week, so there was no skiing here. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.240 Now it's sunny, but it's like an ad for climate change. 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:13.079 The mountain it's so bear and you're like, I mean, 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:14.840 you can ski, but it's like it's not what it's 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:15.440 supposed to be. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.359 So yeah, it's a bummer. Anyway. 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.400 We have a very funny guest on the show today. 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:24.160 She's a comedian. She's a hot mess. I met her 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.880 on Instagram as I meet all my young lovers, and 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:29.840 you should follow her because she does a really good 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:33.280 impersonation of Chris Jenner. That's how I first found her. 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.600 But she does a lot of impersonations. Her name is 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:39.480 Anna Roysman. Hi, Anna, Hi, Where are you Anna? 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:40.640 I'm in New York. 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.040 Oh is this where you hail from New York? 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:47.280 I hail from Philadelphia, but yeah, I'm in New York mostly. 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.800 Right now, Catherine, I don't know if you're familiar with 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:51.640 Anna and in the way that I am, but I 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:54.080 found her. I discovered her because she does these ridiculous 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:59.320 impersonations of the Kardashians. Ye, well, of Chris Well, Chris 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.080 really Jenna, right, is the one that from the Kardashians 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:03.800 do you do all of them or do you just Chris. 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.920 I just do Chris. I could probably do the other ones. 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.360 But yeah, well you do a lot of you do 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.280 Steve from Sex and the City do a lot of 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:14.160 other impersonations too. But what caught my eye was the 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.320 Chris jenneral one because I forwarded it to Chris Jenner. 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.000 I was like, have you seen this fucking girl? You 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:19.040 look like an asshole? 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:20.120 I died. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.600 I know, I flew across the country as her, which 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:24.320 was psychotic. 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.560 That's really really funny. But you do a great impersonation. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:30.279 And I like any impersonations of all the because there's 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.719 so many TikTok Instagram impersonations of all the Kardashians and 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:35.440 some are obviously cream of the crop. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.560 So kudos to you, Anna, And I know you're a comedian. 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:40.040 I saw you at my one of my shows at 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:40.440 the Beacond. 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.280 We met there, yes, which was so fun. I was 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:44.000 a killer show. 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:45.280 Ah, thank you. 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:47.839 So you're a comic and I'm just learning about you 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:49.240 and I want to learn more about you. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:50.000 Thanks. 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.080 First of all, I'm so honored to be on here, 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:53.919 and I just have to say when you shared that 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:55.159 Chris Jenner video. 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:56.360 Last year, I. 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.359 Was in like my darkest time ever and I literally 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:00.960 said to my Boyfri and I'm gonna I'm gonna just 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.000 i wanna go to the airport as Chris. 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.480 Like she would never fly a commercial. This will be 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:05.040 so funny. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.200 And then I obviously thought I'd do it for like 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:08.920 twenty minutes, and I stayed in it the whole flight. 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:10.800 And then you shared it and I was like it 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:11.400 was worth it. 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:13.120 He wanted to kill me. We're like on the plane 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.039 and I'm wigged and I'm like, excuse me, I have to. 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.919 Go to the bathroom. Like I'm like walking down the aisles. 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.159 And when you shared it, I was like I cried. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.960 I was just like, oh my god. So many people 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:23.720 were so nice to me. They were like, I don't 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:25.080 know you did this, blah blah blah. 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.120 So thank you. You really picked me up at a 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:27.680 bad time. 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:30.039 Oh well, I'm happy to listen. Every time we're in 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:32.240 a dark place. This has happened to me so many 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.360 times in my life. A stranger literally will come out 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.440 of the fucking sky and tell you how much you 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.040 mean to them, or do something that lifts you up. 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.560 That is like the way the world works like the 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.120 universe has your back. Like just when you think you're 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.640 not you don't have it anymore, someone will say you 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.800 changed my life, or you did this or did do that. 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:51.640 So you always have to pay attention to those things. 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:53.480 That's something I used to think was corny, and now 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.279 as an older woman in the midst in the mid 0:05:56.360 --> 0:06:00.680 sunset of my life, I love all the signs that 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:03.240 you get that are reminders of like you're on the 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:06.120 right track. Everything is only temporary. When you're going through 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:08.320 a bad phase. That's only a bad phase. It doesn't 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:10.480 have to be permanent, and it won't be permanent whether 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:10.920 you want. 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:11.400 It to be or not. 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:12.840 Yeah, it's so true. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:14.240 Do you like when people come up to you out 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:15.960 of the blue and they're like, you know, when you're 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.359 out to dinner or something and they stop you. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:19.599 I mean, I don't mind. 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:21.279 I don't really care as long as people don't ask 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:23.440 me to get up when I'm like seated at a 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.560 dinner table like I once had a guy, like I've 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:28.240 had many guys do this, go come over here. It's 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:31.159 like like I'm a prostitute or something. I mean, that's 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:32.520 not even okay for a prostitute. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:32.839 Really. 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:34.839 It's it's like, why would I get up for my 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:38.360 dinner with my fucking family when I'm spending to go 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:38.719 take a. 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:40.640 What do you think I work for you? It's just 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:41.560 so stupid. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:42.279 Yeah. 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.000 The other thing is when people try to take pictures 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:44.600 in bathrooms. 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.920 I try to deter people from that behavior, but I 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.080 do find that it's always. 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:49.839 A nice message. 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.280 When you're feeling down or something bummed you out, or 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.920 you heard something you didn't like about yourself, there's always 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.760 a reinforcement right around the corner to validate you and 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.800 tell you like you are loved. That is happening all 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:03.240 the time in my life right now, so I'm very 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.080 attuned to it. So I would advise you to pay 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:07.479 attention to those things too. 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:07.919 Yeah. 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:08.400 Yeah. 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.840 I had a guy who once messaged me on Instagram 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:12.720 after I'd be like, I just saw you walking around 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.840 New York and I didn't say hi because you were 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.720 much shorter than I thought you'd be. 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:20.440 I was like, Okay, one of the dumbest things people 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.520 say to you, you're so small everyone, You're so small 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:24.080 in person. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.040 I'm like, I'm sorry that that thank you. 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.040 I think I think thank you, or you're so much prettier. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.880 You're so much prettier in person. 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:34.400 I love that one. And you're like, Akay, how. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.960 Big and ugly was I online for you? On a screen? 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:37.400 For you? 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:38.920 I know? I know? 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:41.440 So what's your story? Anna? Tell me? 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.840 Like how you got into comedy and like what you 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:45.720 want to do and where you're headed? 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.720 I mean, how I got into comedy. It's funny. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:52.040 I grew up thinking i'd be a very serious Broadway actress, like. 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:55.000 Will you look like you could be a veterinarian a doctor? 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.880 Like you look like a more serious person than you are. 0:07:58.640 --> 0:07:59.080 Thank you. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.920 It's the glasses, you know, and they gave me a complex. 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:06.240 When I first started auditioning, my agents literally would say like, hey, 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:08.840 so this one they actually want someone funny, so make 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:09.880 sure you wear your glasses. 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:12.200 And I was like the Tina fe effect, like what 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:12.880 I was like. 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:14.720 And then they'd be like, actually, they're looking for a 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.240 pretty girl, so if you could just wear contacts for 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:18.160 this audition, And. 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:21.120 Then I'd be like, who am I? 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:25.000 They do that much to your face? No, I thought 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:26.840 i'd be a Broadway actress. I moved to New York 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.520 City and I was like, they're waiting for me. I 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:30.679 am I am a singer. 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.160 I am here. I think the first sign should have 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.600 been I didn't go to college for musical theaters, so, 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:36.959 like you know, I. 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.360 Went for TV production and I wrote a lot and 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:41.679 I did theater, but I didn't like study it. My 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:43.400 parents were like, wait, why do you have to go 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:45.600 to the college, just saying we don't need that's that's 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:47.000 not a real degree. 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:47.760 And then I meant. 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:49.600 I went to New York and everyone was like trained, 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.160 and I was like, oh shit, I'm not. 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:52.480 I'm not one of these. 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:54.840 Like no one else wore like a leather jacket and 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:56.160 sneakers to this audition. 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:58.920 They're all in like character shoes and like dresses. And 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:00.680 I felt so out of place. And I started taking 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:03.120 classes at UCB, and I like met some cool. 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:05.280 People and I was like, oh, these are like more 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.080 people like me, you know, a room full of people 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.640 who start in their high school theater and then. 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.559 Moved to New York thinking they'd be a star, and 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:13.760 they're in an improv class. 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:14.440 I don't know. 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.280 It's funny how so many of us think like wait 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:18.959 till I get like. That's how I felt when I 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:20.440 moved to LA when I was nineteen I was like, 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:21.360 wait till they see me. 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:25.120 I was like, wait until everybody gets alone to this. 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:30.760 I know, like so delusional, but also you know, kind 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.679 of not. It's kind of nice to think that highly 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:33.360 of yourself. 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.360 You need to be delusional to do something like that. 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:39.000 To move to one of us exactly, you have to 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.200 be like, I'm not gonna be the biggest star. 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:42.839 Whatever the fuck you think you're doing. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.960 I mean, my goalposts are always like moving based on 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:47.920 what I'm doing, because I really have no long term plan. 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.040 I'm always just very in the moment, like, oh, what 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:51.200 looks like fun this year? 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:53.559 But I like that. I like that Hubris? 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:54.640 Yeah right? 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:56.840 And how are you finding Like let's talk about the 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:59.920 industry and like being a woman and being a comedian 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.280 and having all of these things, like how have you 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:03.400 found your way in? 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:05.040 How old are you? I'm old? 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:06.920 I'm thirty seven. 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:10.120 Okay, well I'm forty eight, So why don't you shill 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:10.880 that fuck up? 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:12.120 Wait? 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:13.880 I listened to ze Way's episode and I was like, 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:15.079 should I just say nineteen? 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.120 Like she's gonna ask me, should I just say it? 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.120 I never said what about ze Way? What a bitch? 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:19.480 See Way? 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.920 I was like Seaway, You're a fucking asshole. She lied 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.199 to me about her age a hook line and sinker. 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:25.600 By the way, I fucking fell for it. 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.040 I was like, I usually know bullshit, but I was like, 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:29.800 I don't know. And I was sober that day. 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:32.679 I wasn't even Stone Catherine, So what's It's almost like 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:35.199 when I'm sober, I'm at a disadvantage, you know what 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.280 I mean, Like for me to level up, I've got 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.000 to either have an edible or a cocktail. 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:42.400 I love it, but yeah, ze Way. 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:45.440 For everyone listening, she was our guest and she said 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.880 she was nineteen, and I believed her, and then we 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.160 share the same manager. So afterward I was like, I 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.560 can't believe zee Way's nineteen, and she's like she's not. 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.480 You idiot. Of all the people she could have lied to, 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:56.320 you took it. 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.240 I was like, Oh, she would have gotten her showtime 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:03.000 show at like six, started writing at like thirteen. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.280 Yeah, I know, Well, kudos to her forgetting, for being believable. 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:09.559 You know, you gotta give credit get beautiful. 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.600 I did think i'd be that successful by nineteen, you know. 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.199 I was like, there's no way I'm going to be 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:14.960 an adult and I'm. 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:15.960 Not like rich yet. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.320 And here I remember I remember having this age line, 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.480 and I remember I used to look at how old 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:24.560 Jennifer Aniston was when she got friends because that was 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:27.760 my age threshold, like and she was thirty two, I believe. 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.080 So I remember going like, okay, I haven't until thirty two. 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.280 Because I waited tables for like seven or eight years, 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:35.400 and I was very I was good at it, but 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:37.160 I was, you know, a big bitch, so a lot 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:38.920 of people, you know, there was a lot of arguments 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:39.959 and confrontations. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:43.560 I was the worst server too. I did it for 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:44.320 seven years. 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:47.079 I was fine with the service and like being effective 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.560 and like quick and I could remember everything. 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:52.520 I just didn't want the human interaction, like the people 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:52.840 were like. 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:54.640 I was just like, don't talk to me, you know 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.280 what I mean, Like I'm gonna get your food, like, 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:57.480 let's not get it twisted. 0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.160 I would lie to the tables and they'd order a 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.240 certain wine and if it wasn't a twist off, I'd 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:01.520 be like. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.520 Oh, I think we're like out of it. 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.959 I actually I recommend this one. They'd be like, you're 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:08.680 supposed to upsell. I'm like, I just want to do 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:09.680 the ones that twist off. 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.640 I really hate opening wine at the table. 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:16.640 I did the same thing at Chaia Brasserie in Venice, California. 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.720 I couldn't open bottles of wine like I just would 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.920 suck it up. So I told the staff at Chaia 0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:23.440 Venice that I was allergic to grapes, so that I 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.200 wasn't allowed to serve fie. There is no grape allergy, like, 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.520 no one has it. But I didn't know that, and 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.640 neither does anybody else. Oh my god, see Way probably 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:33.760 has it a grape allergy. 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:37.040 Actually she definitely does. Yeah, that's so funny. 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.120 It's like, I'm not going to bring a tray with 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.000 a bottle and a bunch of glasses over and not 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:41.800 fuck that up. 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:43.400 I'm not domesticated. 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.480 No, And I also would never pick up more than 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:46.360 one plate at a time. 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.480 Yeah, when you come over a but take one plate 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:51.840 and then come back five minutes later. So what has 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.319 your experience back to that question, what has been your 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.400 experience navigating this industry because it's a totally different medium 0:12:57.640 --> 0:12:59.800 than when I came up, Because you know, you're very 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:02.880 well known from your social stuff, and it's different now, 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.320 like it's not like you get fame necessarily for being 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:07.040 on television. 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:10.680 Yeah, it's crazy. I started to feel that, like the 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:11.680 video bug. 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:13.199 I feel like a long time ago when I first 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.400 started doing stand up, which was like ten years ago, 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:17.439 I guess, and I would do. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:19.240 Shows and then there would be some shitty shows where. 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.520 I'm like, oh, they give me like six minutes all 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.280 these fucking gross guys who have nothing nice do. They 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.600 don't even like bring you up on stage properly. And 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.440 I was like, or I could make a video and 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.440 it could go viral on YouTube and that would be 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:32.679 so funny and hundreds of thousands of people would see 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.760 it instead of the twenty people at this comedy club 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:36.360 in New York. 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:37.440 So, I don't know. 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.400 I started doing that like a while ago, and I 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:41.640 loved it. 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.439 And then I guess I hosted a game show. I 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:45.920 don't if you know this. I hosted a game show 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:47.720 for three years that like changed my life. 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:48.679 No, what's it called. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.120 It was called HQ Trivia. It was like on your 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:53.640 phone and it was super popular. It was like twice 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.360 a day it was live. Millions of people would tune in. 0:13:56.800 --> 0:14:00.480 We had like celebrities host like The Rock hosted, like 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:03.360 it was. It was crazy and it was like four 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.960 or five hundred thousand people a night playing this game 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.000 that I would host, and it just ended. 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:09.120 Like a year and a half ago. 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:11.880 I came back in the Pandemic, but that was on 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.760 an app and so like I was like posting every 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.520 night about that, and then in the Pandemic, I just 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:21.080 I accidentally did an impression and that went viral. It 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:22.960 was an accident. I didn't plan it at all and 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.160 it went kind of viral. And then the La Times 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.360 called me a TikToker and I was like, oh my. 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.240 God, so much pressure. You're like tktok. 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:32.400 I know I didn't even I don't even know if 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.480 I had to, I might have had like done a 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:37.040 couple things on TikTok, but nothing major. And I was like, wow, 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:38.640 I guess they didn't do their research. I'm just a 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:40.360 TikToker to the La Times. 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:44.080 Now that's cool. And I just I leaned in, you know, I. 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:48.920 Started making more videos daily like a crazy person. You 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:50.760 know the fact that my boyfriend hasn't left yet and 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.240 he's filmed a lot of my videos is a blessing. 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.000 What's the story with your boyfriend? How long have you 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:55.760 guys been together. 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.560 We've been together almost eight years. 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.360 Which oh, oh it was too long. 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:02.720 That's so long. 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.920 People gave up after your three or four They're like, 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:07.080 why aren't you getting married yet? 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.000 Now they don't even that's not even a question. 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:11.360 You know you're not getting Are you not into the marriage? 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.680 I never cared. I was never obsessed with marriage. I 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.200 never wanted kids. My mom is like, she's your hero, 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:17.960 Chelsea's your hero, because. 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.840 Like I have nieces now, and I'm like, they think 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:21.640 I'm the coolest person in the world, and I love 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:22.160 that role. 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.400 And I'm like, I never wanted my own kids, you know. 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:28.320 I love being like, Okay, good night, bye, now your 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.720 parents deal. Yeah, So my boyfriend and I and that 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.160 was something I told him straight up. I wasn't looking 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:35.920 for a boyfriend. I had gotten out of a breakup 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:37.720 and it was like a couple of years of me 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.000 just I was like the forty year old virgin again. 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:42.080 Like it was so fun being single. 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:44.920 Because I was with someone for eight years from like 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:46.280 college to twenty seven. 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:51.960 So you're you're you're you like long term relationships, I guess. Yeah, 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:53.000 it's nice though. 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.280 It's refreshing to hear that, like, you know, so many 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.680 young girls are like girls that are younger than me, 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.000 that are being honest about out what they want with 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.640 marriage and children, and like actually identifying it is such 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:09.400 an empowering and powerful thing to know and recognizing yourself 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.080 what you want, because I think that's such an issue 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.200 for so long. I think women for so long were 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.400 held so back, you know, and like housewives and da 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.120 da da, that you're like, you don't even think you 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:19.880 have a choice. 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:21.760 You just do what you're supposed to do. 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.080 So now to see all these women like, no, I'm 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.120 not getting married, I'm not having children. 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:26.840 That's not for me. 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:30.400 It's very like it's just a sign of like the 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.480 times that we live in, and there's it feels like 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.640 there's like some sort of female awakening that's been at 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.400 play for the last you know, fifty years, and we're 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:42.320 cruising into this really sweet spot, especially abudding up against 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.200 Roe v Wade being overturned and the way men are 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.520 and you know how stupid most of them can act 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:51.920 at times, and embarrassing it is as a society that 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.520 men get away with such nonsense behavior and we're we're like, 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.720 we're over here, we've had our shit together. This whole time, 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:01.800 and nobody has been giving us the wheel to drive. 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.240 So I'm true, Yeah, that's really refreshing. How do you 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:07.440 feel about children the same way you feel about getting married? 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:08.240 Yeah? 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:10.639 I never wanted kids. I love kids, kids like me, 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.440 but I never wanted to have kids of mine. 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.520 You say, I mean, do you have proof if that 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:15.440 children like you? 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:17.240 Yes? 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.840 Because I always have candy on me, and my sister's 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:21.880 three year old thinks I'm like the fucking. 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.719 God, like you know, or a child molester. 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.240 I know it's a candy on me. Watch out. 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.880 I actually speaking of child molesting. I got a ride 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.159 home from a child last night. I was flew in 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:38.800 from I. So I flew in from LA to Whistler. 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:40.679 I'm back in my I have a little ski a 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:44.560 situation of whistle that I'm obsessed with skiing. So I 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.760 came back yesterday and I stopped at my friend's house, 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:48.760 which is like forty minutes away, and she had dinner 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.520 and friends over and then everyone kind of fell asleep. 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:53.120 But I'm like, well, I don't want to sleep here, 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.520 like I just got home. I want to go to 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:58.560 in my bed. And this like nineteen year old kid was. 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.240 Like I'll drive you to Slirt's like forty minutes and 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:03.639 I was like, are you are you? 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.320 Do you have a license? I was like, how old 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.639 are you? Can you drive in the snow? He's like 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.600 I'm nineteen and I was like okay. 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.359 And then I like, you know, observed him for a 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.399 good forty five seconds and thought, yeah, actually this is 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:17.760 the guy I want to drive me home. 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:19.320 You were like, let me set you up in Z 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:20.960 way I know another nineteen year old. 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:23.720 Said, I only hang out with nineteen year olds these days, 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.359 so I want to introduce you to someone. 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:28.560 But yeah, he drove me home and it was really cute. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.280 I had my dog, Bernice because my friend was dog 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.119 sitting and he drove me home and it's like a 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.720 forty minute drive, and uh yeah, it was really funny. 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:36.840 I was like, he's like, I could give you ride 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:37.679 anytime you need one. 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:38.240 Chelse Ll. 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:43.119 You have a new driver, and I know I have 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:43.600 a new. 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.320 Nineteen year old driver. That's something I would totally do well. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.560 And he's not legal drinking age, so it's definitely likely 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:49.040 to be over. 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:51.080 He doesn't drink at all. We talked about lots of 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:52.160 drugs and alcohol on the way. 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:52.360 Home. 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.600 Yeah, he doesn't. A lot of kids don't drink. 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:54.920 Now. 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:57.880 It's weird. Yeah, it's funny. They're all straight edge. 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.080 They're not into it because I think alcohol is, like, 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:01.800 you know, it's seen its finest hour. 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:04.159 There's so many other. 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:07.960 Avenues to explore with mushrooms and microdosing, and I think 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:09.320 people are more on that train. 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.640 Yes, kids these days think that alcohol is boomer technology 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:13.480 is what they call it. 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.639 And I think that's oh, just great. I think am 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:16.280 I a boomer? 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:17.960 I'm the opposite of a boomer, but I am a 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:20.240 boomer probably. No, I think I'm younger than a boomer. 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.280 Yeah. By the way, Catherine, I like that merch hat 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.080 that dear Chelsea hat. I needed a black hat today, 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:25.680 and here we are. 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:26.480 That's so cute. 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:30.000 Where's our merch at Chelseahandler dot com, Chelsea Handler dot com. 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:31.400 Okay, quick shout out to merch. 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.280 Okay, so you know, okay, did you get the lowdown 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:37.080 of what we're doing today. We're basically gonna have fun 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:39.280 with our callers. They call in for real shit and 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:40.359 we give them real advice. 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:41.919 I can't wait, I've listened. 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:43.000 Okay, great, all. 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:44.159 Right, so we need to take a break, and then 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:49.800 we're going to be right back. Okay, and we're. 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:53.920 Back, We are back, We're back okay, and uh, these 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.240 are all going to be centered around things that you 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:58.280 have something to do with or you've talked about. 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:02.200 And so, okay, are you comfortable with questions about anal penetration? 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:02.520 Anna? 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:03.720 Absolutely? 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:06.960 Yeah, perfect, There is one about porn. So that's why 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:08.879 I was like, wait, they're they're not all about you. 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:11.680 But did you know I've post my ass all over Instagram? 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:13.720 Though I know that you wake up and do anal 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:14.320 every morning. 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:16.879 I mean, anyone worth their salt does that. That's the 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:17.800 first thing on the menu. 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:20.600 I promise my Instagram followers when Pennsylvania turned blue, I 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.960 would do ten photos of my ass on Instagram and 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:24.000 amazing I did. 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.200 And I was like, I love when we can combine 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.520 politics and sex. That's my favorite two of my favorite 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:34.760 topics interpersonal relationships. Well, I like the emotional psychodrama that 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:36.760 goes with it. Two, but I love sex and I 0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:37.760 love politics. 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:40.640 There you go, you would love that post. It was, Yeah, 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:42.640 I think my ass turned Pennsylvania blue. 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:45.359 I did it. 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:47.840 It's like the opposite of blue balls. It's like blue 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:50.120 ass smurf ass. 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:55.680 Well very appropriately. This email starts, am I the asshole? Probably, 0:20:57.119 --> 0:21:00.359 Zan says Dear Chelsea, Am I the asshole? That's what 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:03.439 I'm needing reassurance on I was in a relationship for 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:06.520 six months. We started talking in May, met in June, 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:09.720 and became official in August. We ended New Year's Eve. 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:12.879 In short, he felt as though I was not integrating 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:16.000 into his life. The first incident came in the form 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:18.399 of a wedding in October. He told me his cousin 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:20.720 was getting married in January. It was a big moment 0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:23.359 for the family and he wanted me to attend. I 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:25.320 told him it made me feel uncomfortable to meet the 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:28.760 entire family so soon into the relationship. I felt steps 0:21:28.800 --> 0:21:32.080 were being skipped, such as meeting individual members beforehand, and 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:36.120 given that it's a destination wedding, the cost included felt unreasonable. 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.679 He did not take it well. Ultimately, I bought a ticket, 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:43.560 but he never forgave me for hesitating. The second incident 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:46.639 involves his friends. Being thirty three, I've phased out of 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:50.240 the twenty somethings enjoyment of alcohol. Him being twenty six 0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:53.520 hasn't their idea of a good time as to be expected, 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:56.880 always involves drinking. Because of this, I don't fully enjoy 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.240 the moments we're all together. And when I asked him 0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:00.760 if there was ever a time he and his friends 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:03.159 got together and didn't drink, he couldn't really give me 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:06.359 an answer, but he said I was being selfish and uncompromising. 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:09.399 I feel like I am and was being rational, But 0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:11.960 his voice in my head and the accompanying guilt make 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:13.040 me question myself. 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:18.600 Am I the asshole? Zan is Xana gay Man is Zanna? Yes? Yes, oh, 0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:21.080 z Zan, You're not being an asshole at all. That's 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:21.480 like good. 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:25.120 All the red flags you identified them, You hesitated when 0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:26.399 you didn't want to go to the wedding. 0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:27.800 You for the right reasons. 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:32.480 There's nothing wrong with being like circumspect about meeting people's families. 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:34.800 They're being overwhelmed, and also the cost that was put 0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:36.640 into it. No, I don't think you were an. 0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:37.280 Asshole at all. 0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:41.880 I think you were actually had boundaries and were stating them, 0:22:42.000 --> 0:22:43.960 and you were being told that your boundaries aren't going 0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:44.680 to be respected. 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.359 Yeah, six or seven months, because it sounds like, you know, 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.320 they started talking in May and this wedding was in January, 0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:54.080 like six or seven months kind of feels like plenty 0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:54.960 of time. 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:55.760 To meet the family. 0:22:55.880 --> 0:22:58.399 And I get that it's like overwhelming being all at once, 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:01.159 but I think it's okay to be uncomfortable. But that 0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:02.959 feels like pretty appropriate timeline. 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:05.440 Yes, it is appropriate, But if the person doesn't want 0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:07.280 to do that, then the person doesn't want to do that. 0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:10.040 You can't make someone go and you're going to meet 0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:11.720 my whole family all in one fell swoop. 0:23:11.720 --> 0:23:13.399 I can imagine a lot of people. That would make 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:14.280 a lot very nervous. 0:23:14.280 --> 0:23:16.160 First of all, I would fucking run towards that wedding 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:18.760 because I love shit like that. But I have a 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:22.160 different personality type, right, Like I get it, Like if 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:24.720 that's overwhelming to some people, some people have serious like 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:26.400 social anxiety and whatever. 0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:28.800 I don't know. I think it's valid to not do 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:29.879 anything you don't want to do. 0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:32.360 I agree with you one thousand percent. I think it's 0:23:32.440 --> 0:23:34.520 like you were honest with this person. 0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:37.359 If they made you feel bad, then that's on them. 0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:39.000 If you're like, hey, I don't know how I feel 0:23:39.000 --> 0:23:41.840 about meeting your whole family, that's okay, you know, and 0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:43.160 then you know it's not going to work. 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:43.400 Out. 0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:46.240 I guess if they can't understand where you where your 0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:49.680 boundaries are. I made my boyfriend meet my parents three 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:51.879 weeks into dating, so I'm no one. 0:23:52.119 --> 0:23:52.840 I'm bad. 0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:55.159 Yeah, I never have any like rules around that. 0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:58.080 But also when you ask if you're an asshole, usually 0:23:58.240 --> 0:23:59.360 the assholes. 0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:00.000 Aren't asking that question. 0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:04.080 Yeah, okay, so we'll problem solved and they're not the 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:06.440 Zan Zan zan. 0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:10.040 Oh, and I wanted to address the drinking thing. That's ridiculous. 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:12.400 If Zan doesn't want to have a drink, who gives 0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:12.720 a ship? 0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:16.360 Yeah? No, one's what are you in. 0:24:16.320 --> 0:24:18.399 The DARE program where they're like, come on, I had 0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:20.480 a drink? Are you not? Are you a loser? You 0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:21.399 can't hang out with us? 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:21.680 No? 0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:25.000 Yeah, right right yeah, And I think that is just 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:26.439 sort of a clear sign that you're not in the 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:29.160 same place in life as this other guy. 0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:33.320 So well, thanks Anne, I'm glad Zan got out. 0:24:33.640 --> 0:24:36.840 Yes, yeah, okay, what's next? Next up? 0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:39.960 Our next one is a caller, and this is Elena. 0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:43.919 Elena is currently in Puerto Rico. She's on vacation, but 0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:47.320 she's calling in. Dear Chelsea, I heard you answer a 0:24:47.400 --> 0:24:50.080 question about porn in your last interview with ze way, 0:24:50.160 --> 0:24:52.800 and it brought up another question for me. I haven't 0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:55.560 felt comfortable talking about it because the second a woman 0:24:55.640 --> 0:24:57.919 brings up porn in any questioning way, I feel like 0:24:57.920 --> 0:25:02.080 we're labeled as prudes. I'm not against using porn. I 0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:05.320 completely believe in and support healthy porn consumption. But I 0:25:05.359 --> 0:25:08.160 recently found out that my boyfriend of two years has 0:25:08.200 --> 0:25:13.280 several OnlyFans subscriptions, paying for these girls monthly, even messaging them, 0:25:13.680 --> 0:25:16.800 talking to them, and tipping them for custom nude sets. 0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:17.760 Oh. 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:22.760 To me, this feels adjacent to cheating, though obviously not physically. 0:25:23.280 --> 0:25:25.160 It feels like a betrayal, and I was really hurt 0:25:25.200 --> 0:25:25.560 by it. 0:25:26.040 --> 0:25:28.199 When we talked about it, he said he didn't think 0:25:28.240 --> 0:25:30.119 it was a big deal at all and quote people 0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:33.440 in healthy relationships do this all the time. It felt 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:36.159 like a shitty response. Honestly, my gut says it's not 0:25:36.240 --> 0:25:39.399 normal or fine. To me, this crosses a line for me. 0:25:39.440 --> 0:25:42.840 With the payment and messaging. Looking at a potential future 0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:45.119 with him as a possible husband makes me really nervous 0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:46.960 after this, and I don't want to deal with this 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:48.680 when I'm six months pregnant with his kid. 0:25:49.280 --> 0:25:50.520 I've gotten mixed advice. 0:25:50.720 --> 0:25:52.919 Women tell me to run, some men say give him 0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:55.199 another chance, and other men even say this type of 0:25:55.240 --> 0:25:58.680 porn consumption is totally normal and natural. I'd love to 0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:01.080 hear your advice on this. I appreciate your show and 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:01.920 all of your advice. 0:26:02.080 --> 0:26:02.600 Elena. 0:26:03.320 --> 0:26:07.959 Hi, Elena, Hi, Hi, this is Anna, she's our special 0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:09.240 guest day Anna Roysman. 0:26:09.480 --> 0:26:11.000 Hi, Elena, I'm with you. 0:26:11.080 --> 0:26:13.640 I don't. I don't like that. I'm not into that 0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:15.400 paying's messaging what. 0:26:15.480 --> 0:26:17.720 Yeah, that is like that's flirting with if it was 0:26:17.920 --> 0:26:20.600 if it weren't an oly fan site and he was 0:26:20.720 --> 0:26:22.880 messaging anyone on the side, wouldn't you. 0:26:22.880 --> 0:26:26.399 Be put off by that? That's that is kind of cheating. 0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:29.399 It's flirting with another person when you're in supposedly a 0:26:29.440 --> 0:26:31.680 monogaous Does he know he's in a monogamous relationship? 0:26:32.080 --> 0:26:36.040 Yes, And I'd even asked him after I found this out, 0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:39.679 whether or not he wanted to continue a monogamous relationship 0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:43.359 or do something else, and he doubled down he said, yes, 0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:46.600 I would I want to maintain a monogamous. 0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:48.280 Relation, of course, because he's getting to watch porn and 0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:51.679 flirt and tip other women. No, it's like it's icky. 0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:53.919 I mean, I listen, I might be old fashioned, but 0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:56.000 I don't think so. I think I'm pretty fucking with it. 0:26:56.280 --> 0:26:59.040 And it's like that, especially even if he wasn't paying 0:26:59.080 --> 0:27:01.800 them and he was DM some girls flirting with them 0:27:01.840 --> 0:27:05.800 that would feel bad to you, and for sex, like 0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:08.359 watching them whatever they do on OnlyFans, right, is it 0:27:08.400 --> 0:27:10.320 all sex or is it just like sometimes you show 0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:11.640 like your vagina? 0:27:11.800 --> 0:27:12.520 What happens? 0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:15.080 I don't have any OnlyFans accounts that I follow. I've 0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:16.680 been trying to get on it, but I have someone 0:27:16.760 --> 0:27:17.159 blocked me. 0:27:17.960 --> 0:27:20.280 No, No, I am all for the girls on only 0:27:20.400 --> 0:27:22.440 Fans and so support them. 0:27:22.520 --> 0:27:26.280 But and so does your boyfriend. So last night very much. 0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:30.560 Very much. It's mainly, honestly, just been like nudes from them. 0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:33.960 It hasn't been like custom videos or anything like that. 0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:35.520 Yeah, but it's all gross. 0:27:36.160 --> 0:27:38.720 Yeah, it's like, I don't know, I want to like 0:27:38.840 --> 0:27:41.800 support his desires nothing. 0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:44.240 No, no, no, that's that's not a landing or too nice. 0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:46.240 You're being a little naive and you're being a little 0:27:46.240 --> 0:27:49.720 bit too nice. You don't need to support his porn interest. 0:27:49.480 --> 0:27:51.439 Right, It's not like he's picking up a guitar or 0:27:51.480 --> 0:27:53.560 like learning another language. 0:27:53.080 --> 0:27:57.879 Like that's not your responsibility a and like, yes, of 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.359 course kudos to anyone who has an only Fans, But 0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:03.520 if you want your boyfriend or your partner like that 0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:07.560 doesn't feel good to you, clearly because you're calling and 0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:11.720 it's just it key behavior and there's nothing no no, 0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:13.760 I think you need to move on from him, and 0:28:14.240 --> 0:28:17.800 also you need to have like a little bit more 0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:20.760 and better understanding of what you are and what you're 0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:23.359 not willing to like put up with within a relationship. 0:28:23.720 --> 0:28:24.520 Yeah right. 0:28:25.040 --> 0:28:26.680 I also wanted to say, when you called in, you 0:28:27.240 --> 0:28:31.280 give this whole description of like porn and porn, watching porn, 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:33.520 putting on porn. I mean porn, I'm gonna say, you 0:28:33.560 --> 0:28:35.679 know it's art, right, it's a form of art in 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:39.000 the but in only Fans where you're having a connection 0:28:39.040 --> 0:28:41.800 with someone who's sending your nudes personally and you paid 0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:45.040 them for it, that's a different that's not necessarily a porn, 0:28:45.280 --> 0:28:48.120 you know, that's totally I mean people people are dating 0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:49.840 online today, you know, that's the same thing as like 0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:52.080 having these like online relationships. I don't know, I think 0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:54.520 it's it's a different level than like him, if you 0:28:54.560 --> 0:28:57.160 walked in you're like, he's watching porn again on his computer. 0:28:57.360 --> 0:28:59.880 That's different than paying for someone to message him. 0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:04.240 Definitely. I have just asked different people's advice on this, 0:29:04.480 --> 0:29:07.240 as I mentioned in my email, and you know, a 0:29:07.280 --> 0:29:10.560 lot of women say the same thing, run get out. 0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:15.200 A lot of men have mixed advice, like some say, 0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:18.960 pill girl. I am so so sorry. I'm staying at 0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:23.080 a friend's house and the cat is no, I'm so sorry. 0:29:23.560 --> 0:29:26.720 First of all, stuff apologizing. You need to like boost 0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:29.440 up your self esteem. You're too nice. That's a very 0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:31.560 nice quality, but you need to have a little bit 0:29:31.600 --> 0:29:33.760 more like gumption and a little bit more. 0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:36.240 You are like a beautiful. 0:29:35.920 --> 0:29:40.480 Kind, caring individual who is thinking about a person, and 0:29:40.560 --> 0:29:42.480 you need to be thinking about yourself. Actually, you're giving 0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:44.400 him a little bit too much credit in this area. 0:29:44.680 --> 0:29:46.800 This is really about how you feel. It doesn't make 0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:48.880 you feel good, so it's not going to work for you. 0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:52.640 Yeah, right, thank you. Yeah, it's not gonna work for you. 0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:57.000 Yeah, you don't need to support his habits of messaging 0:29:57.040 --> 0:29:58.160 women for naked photos. 0:29:58.720 --> 0:30:02.320 Yeah, him like a year into a stating I've been 0:30:02.360 --> 0:30:04.800 doing for almost two and a half years and about 0:30:04.840 --> 0:30:08.440 a year and I asked him, because I was having 0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:11.800 some feelings. I wasn't sure if he I just had 0:30:11.840 --> 0:30:14.920 a sense there was something going on only fans wise, 0:30:15.360 --> 0:30:18.760 so I asked him, are you you know only fans, 0:30:18.840 --> 0:30:20.840 no judgment, it's fine, but I just want to know 0:30:20.920 --> 0:30:24.840 for me, for my future. And he was really adamant 0:30:24.840 --> 0:30:27.920 about it. He said, no, absolutely not. Why would I 0:30:27.920 --> 0:30:31.280 pay for something like that. So I think it's more 0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:34.080 frustrating too that he lied about it. 0:30:34.120 --> 0:30:36.440 You know, and you gave him an opportunity and then 0:30:36.520 --> 0:30:39.440 he blew it, so he lied to you. So no, 0:30:39.760 --> 0:30:41.760 you deserve better than this. This isn't going to be 0:30:41.840 --> 0:30:44.480 good enough for you, period. So are you ready to 0:30:44.480 --> 0:30:45.080 break up with him? 0:30:45.120 --> 0:30:45.760 Because you should? 0:30:46.800 --> 0:30:50.040 Thank you, Chelsey, I've honestly been confused by a lot 0:30:50.040 --> 0:30:52.760 of advice that I've gotten, Like men say, it's actually 0:30:52.800 --> 0:30:55.600 it's just porn. It's fine, and actually it's more ethical 0:30:56.080 --> 0:30:59.200 because it's from only fans, like you're controlling where the 0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:02.320 money goes. But I think I think there's a good 0:31:02.320 --> 0:31:04.560 percentage of women on only vans who are still trafficked, 0:31:04.800 --> 0:31:05.360 Like you. 0:31:05.240 --> 0:31:07.600 Know, yeah, that sounds like guys who love only vans 0:31:07.920 --> 0:31:10.800 only men would say that it's ethical gonna cheat anyway, 0:31:10.800 --> 0:31:12.880 so it's better that he's just cheating with someone online. 0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:14.000 Like whatever. 0:31:14.360 --> 0:31:17.000 Don't listen to men and give advice to women about 0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:20.520 fucking anything. You need to listen to women, and right 0:31:20.560 --> 0:31:23.120 now you need to listen to us. I can see 0:31:23.160 --> 0:31:25.719 this fixture very clearly. I'm sorry that you wasted two 0:31:25.760 --> 0:31:27.400 and a half years of your life, but there is 0:31:27.440 --> 0:31:29.760 somebody out there for you that is gonna appreciate and 0:31:29.840 --> 0:31:33.400 love you. It's actually it's a sea of men. They're everywhere. 0:31:33.760 --> 0:31:35.240 Everywhere you go, there they are. 0:31:35.440 --> 0:31:38.000 And you're gonna be stronger because of this situation. You're 0:31:38.000 --> 0:31:39.640 gonna know what you want when you don't want. 0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:42.080 And you need to also use your voice. 0:31:42.120 --> 0:31:44.440 Like your voice, I want you to use that as 0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:46.680 a tool for yourself, and I want you to write 0:31:46.760 --> 0:31:49.720 that down, like you need to get stronger in your voice, 0:31:50.000 --> 0:31:53.239 and I mean that actually audibly. And you know you 0:31:53.280 --> 0:31:56.120 need to like do some vocal exercises in the morning 0:31:56.160 --> 0:31:59.600 to like ground yourself because you're being This is what 0:31:59.680 --> 0:32:01.479 I see when I look at you, somebody who's just 0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:04.640 like in the air that is like kind of being directed, 0:32:04.680 --> 0:32:07.000 like you're like a hot air balloon. That it doesn't 0:32:07.040 --> 0:32:09.480 know where to land because you're kind of being directed 0:32:09.520 --> 0:32:11.240 by someone who doesn't have your best interest. 0:32:11.560 --> 0:32:14.440 Yeah, and you want to be grounded in who you are. 0:32:14.560 --> 0:32:17.120 You want to be a woman like you're a woman 0:32:17.240 --> 0:32:19.520 and you're powerful, and you have all of these amazing 0:32:19.560 --> 0:32:21.440 things going for you in your life. And I don't 0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:23.640 know half of them, but I already know that's true 0:32:23.680 --> 0:32:25.560 because it's true for every one of us. 0:32:25.680 --> 0:32:28.960 And this outward focus on that no, no, no, I 0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:31.160 don't like that at all. And you're better than that. 0:32:31.440 --> 0:32:32.520 Thank you, Chelsea. 0:32:32.800 --> 0:32:35.680 To Chelsea's point about you need to listen to women 0:32:35.760 --> 0:32:38.120 about this, it's not because women are always right all o. 0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:38.760 We usually are. 0:32:38.960 --> 0:32:41.480 It's because the women in your life are echoing what 0:32:41.640 --> 0:32:44.400 is coming up for you, what's coming from your gut 0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:46.440 and what your gut is telling you, and the men 0:32:46.480 --> 0:32:49.280 in your life are trying to like dissuade you from that. 0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:51.280 It sounds like the women. 0:32:51.120 --> 0:32:54.480 Are telling you exactly how you're feeling, and that's why 0:32:54.480 --> 0:32:55.280 you should listen to them. 0:32:55.880 --> 0:32:58.760 Thank you all so much. This is really helpful. It's 0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:00.440 so great to get your advice on this. 0:33:00.520 --> 0:33:00.840 Thank you. 0:33:01.280 --> 0:33:01.440 Well. 0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:03.480 I'll be thinking about you, honey, follow up with us. Okay, 0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:04.400 let us know how it goes. 0:33:04.480 --> 0:33:05.960 Let us know when you break up with your boyfriend, 0:33:05.960 --> 0:33:08.520 because you will and keep us posted. 0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:10.280 We'll have you on our matchmaking segment. 0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:13.000 Yes, oh that's fun. Yeah, I will put you on 0:33:13.040 --> 0:33:14.080 our matchmaking segment. 0:33:14.160 --> 0:33:14.640 I love that. 0:33:15.000 --> 0:33:15.880 Thank you so much. 0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:18.360 Okay, bye, Len, good luck bye. 0:33:19.040 --> 0:33:20.320 I love men. It's better. 0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:24.480 It's more ethical to watch porn when you're fucking so stupid. 0:33:24.760 --> 0:33:25.760 I love my brother. 0:33:25.960 --> 0:33:28.000 Over Christmas this year, he was like, Chelsea, let me 0:33:28.080 --> 0:33:31.640 I go no, no, let me tell you. Don't don't 0:33:32.000 --> 0:33:35.520 tell me anything, and don't start any sentence with let 0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:38.760 me no, no, no, I don't let you anymore. 0:33:38.960 --> 0:33:40.080 Don't talk to me like that. 0:33:41.400 --> 0:33:43.640 But I think this is such an interesting question. Brad 0:33:43.640 --> 0:33:45.520 and I, my husband and I were just having this 0:33:45.560 --> 0:33:48.000 discussion the other day. We were watching ninety Day Fiance 0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:50.760 and there was a similar situation, and it's like, where 0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:52.640 is the line? And I think the line has to 0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:55.920 be like when you start having direct conversations, like it's 0:33:55.920 --> 0:33:58.480 not just porn when you start like I mean, yeah, 0:33:58.560 --> 0:34:00.640 giving someone money, but even if you're not giving them money, 0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:03.320 if someone's sending you nudes and the DMS, like, no, 0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:05.400 that's not just like this is for fun and so 0:34:05.440 --> 0:34:08.439 I can jerk off. This is something more. That's yeah, 0:34:08.480 --> 0:34:09.720 that's too personalized. 0:34:09.880 --> 0:34:10.120 Yeah. 0:34:10.200 --> 0:34:11.760 I got mad at my boyfriend of the pandemic. 0:34:11.760 --> 0:34:14.920 He had a weekly D and D zoom game dungeons 0:34:14.960 --> 0:34:17.080 and trackets, and I was like, this is worse than port. 0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:20.239 I would feel better if you were actually like girl 0:34:20.239 --> 0:34:23.640 and jerking out. I'm like you and your your fourteen 0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:26.880 other like high school friends. They're all like men in 0:34:26.920 --> 0:34:29.760 their forties and they're like playing characters on their Zoom. 0:34:29.920 --> 0:34:32.600 I can't. I cannot with men in video games. I mean, 0:34:32.640 --> 0:34:36.280 it is a boner killer. It is a boner killer. 0:34:36.840 --> 0:34:39.160 I was like, have you heard of OnlyFans I made? 0:34:39.440 --> 0:34:41.400 Fuck, that's a boner lift your upper and this is 0:34:41.400 --> 0:34:44.120 a boner killer. It's just so like boners and you 0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:47.200 don't know which direction they're headed east, west, north or south. 0:34:48.719 --> 0:34:50.120 I was such a bitch. I'm like, let me play 0:34:50.160 --> 0:34:52.359 my saxophone. Remember when I used to do that. 0:34:53.000 --> 0:34:57.440 I'd be like, I'm I'm rehearsing in the other rooms. 0:35:01.960 --> 0:35:04.239 Well, our next question comes from Hobby and he'll be 0:35:04.280 --> 0:35:05.760 joining us on the phone as well. 0:35:06.120 --> 0:35:09.319 He is currently unemployed, and I thought that this would be. 0:35:09.320 --> 0:35:11.560 A perfect question for you since you had a podcast 0:35:11.560 --> 0:35:16.520 called Unemployed and you know about transitions. So yes, Hobby 0:35:16.600 --> 0:35:21.000 says Dear Chelsea. I'm currently working as a reality TV producer, 0:35:21.160 --> 0:35:23.560 and while I love the work, the short term contracts 0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:27.120 have been causing me some anxiety. Additionally, I had to 0:35:27.160 --> 0:35:29.879 move back to Miami to care for my sick mother 0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:32.560 he was living in LA, which added another layer of 0:35:32.560 --> 0:35:35.800 complexity to my life. I admire the stick with itness 0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:38.839 and resilience in the entertainment industry you have, and I'm 0:35:38.880 --> 0:35:41.200 curious to know if you have any advice for someone 0:35:41.239 --> 0:35:43.680 like me who feels at a crossroads. How do you 0:35:43.760 --> 0:35:46.719 navigate the uncertainty of short contracts and do you have 0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:49.719 any recommendations for building a backup plan or creating other 0:35:49.760 --> 0:35:53.960 income streams. Furthermore, given my current circumstances in my life, 0:35:54.040 --> 0:35:57.040 I'm contemplating whether I should consider moving back to LA 0:35:57.360 --> 0:36:01.040 or explore other options. I'd appreciate any insights or wisdom 0:36:01.160 --> 0:36:03.200 you could share based on your own experiences. 0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:05.440 Have HI havevey? 0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:09.000 Hey? How's it going good? 0:36:09.040 --> 0:36:09.480 How are you? 0:36:10.000 --> 0:36:12.959 I'm good good, I'm chilling, okay. 0:36:13.040 --> 0:36:14.120 So Okay, break it down. 0:36:14.160 --> 0:36:16.000 Well, Anna, this will be good for you too, because 0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:19.000 we're all like that in this business. That's what it's like, 0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:21.560 so we can relate for sure. It's like job to 0:36:21.640 --> 0:36:25.000 job to job to job. No job security ever, ever, ever, No. 0:36:25.000 --> 0:36:28.640 Four oh one K, no paid time off, none of that. 0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:33.600 And right now that's sounding like mighty tempting. It feels 0:36:33.600 --> 0:36:34.960 like I'm missing out on something. 0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:38.080 You know, you mean by not having a four oh. 0:36:37.960 --> 0:36:41.840 One K yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, or just like steady 0:36:41.840 --> 0:36:45.040 income throughout the year. Right now, Catherine knows, I'm unemployed. 0:36:45.440 --> 0:36:47.600 I've worked it out where I have two shows that 0:36:47.640 --> 0:36:49.919 I work on that kind of fill up nine months 0:36:49.960 --> 0:36:52.480 out of the year, and now these three months January 0:36:52.520 --> 0:36:55.680 to March, I'm just kind of hanging out, you know, 0:36:56.320 --> 0:36:59.760 and applying for gigs and crossing my fingers but nothing yet. 0:37:00.200 --> 0:37:01.680 Have you been doing it for a long time. 0:37:02.320 --> 0:37:05.360 I've been working in reality TV for like five years 0:37:05.440 --> 0:37:09.000 or so, producing like two ish years. 0:37:09.400 --> 0:37:10.920 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:14.879 Okay, I want to say Mozeltov to you for having 0:37:14.880 --> 0:37:17.920 a job nine months in a creative industry nine months 0:37:17.920 --> 0:37:18.480 out of the year. 0:37:18.560 --> 0:37:21.200 I'm like, oh god about that. 0:37:21.200 --> 0:37:23.560 That's like teachers, you know, they get like a summer off. 0:37:23.600 --> 0:37:25.600 I guess, I'm like, you're kind of living their schedule. 0:37:25.640 --> 0:37:27.600 But I'm like, if I was employed for nine months 0:37:27.680 --> 0:37:29.840 this year, I'd be like, you know, on a beach somewhere. 0:37:29.880 --> 0:37:33.120 I'd be in Miami with you. No, not to I 0:37:33.400 --> 0:37:35.920 understand though, that this lull, the three months is it 0:37:35.960 --> 0:37:37.680 feels slow and you have no idea what to do. 0:37:37.840 --> 0:37:40.200 But yeah, I feel slow, and then the demons start, 0:37:40.320 --> 0:37:43.360 you know, creeping back in and telling me that I'm 0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:45.800 never going to have a stable anything, never going to 0:37:45.840 --> 0:37:47.520 be able to buy a house, never gonna you know. 0:37:47.640 --> 0:37:49.320 Well, that's not true, that's not true. 0:37:49.440 --> 0:37:51.760 Those are your thoughts, Like, that's your just like shadows 0:37:51.760 --> 0:37:54.480 self telling you your That's what all of us have 0:37:54.840 --> 0:37:57.120 and experience when we don't have a lot going on, 0:37:57.360 --> 0:37:59.439 is our voices saying are you good enough? 0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:01.760 Are you going to this happen? That's bullshit. 0:38:01.840 --> 0:38:03.880 So first and foremost, we need you to spend these 0:38:03.920 --> 0:38:06.799 three months that you have off in a very much 0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:09.759 more productive way. And you sound like you have since 0:38:09.800 --> 0:38:11.759 you have a steady income for those nine months out 0:38:11.760 --> 0:38:14.520 of the year before you have something more that you're working. 0:38:14.600 --> 0:38:15.719 Maybe eleven months out of the year. 0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:17.080 I mean, it's a pretty good gig if you can 0:38:17.160 --> 0:38:19.560 swing working nine months out of the year and keep 0:38:19.560 --> 0:38:20.080 it that way. 0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:22.240 I would just say, but you need to put money. 0:38:22.040 --> 0:38:24.759 Aside in every paycheck first of all, for your own 0:38:24.800 --> 0:38:26.600 four oh one k for your own You have to 0:38:26.600 --> 0:38:29.239 start all of that shit yourself, and because then you're 0:38:29.280 --> 0:38:32.040 an island taking care of yourself and you're feeding yourself 0:38:32.080 --> 0:38:34.560 before you put yourself out there anymore. And there's a 0:38:34.600 --> 0:38:37.000 lot of self esteem that comes with managing your money 0:38:37.040 --> 0:38:40.200 in a very thoughtful, futuristic way. 0:38:40.360 --> 0:38:42.919 You're preparing for the future. You can't just like burn 0:38:43.000 --> 0:38:44.799 through everything and it feels. 0:38:44.560 --> 0:38:46.600 Very good, and you're going to feel a lot safer 0:38:46.719 --> 0:38:50.000 and like grounded and protected when you are looking out 0:38:50.000 --> 0:38:52.319 for yourself. And there's all sorts of accounts you could 0:38:52.400 --> 0:38:55.239 drop and they can take money from your paycheck. You 0:38:55.280 --> 0:38:57.719 can put it in yourself like you can design it 0:38:57.760 --> 0:39:00.200 however you want. But you need to start doing that anyway. 0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:02.279 You know, you're a brown man and you should be 0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:03.400 preparing for your future. 0:39:03.640 --> 0:39:05.000 Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, I do. 0:39:05.120 --> 0:39:06.520 I have a rough ira and I do have a 0:39:06.560 --> 0:39:09.080 good amount of savings, but it's like I don't know. 0:39:09.160 --> 0:39:11.640 I don't know if it's like the Cuban I'm Cuban 0:39:11.680 --> 0:39:15.280 and the trauma of coming from parents who came from nothing, 0:39:15.440 --> 0:39:17.439 Like I'm like, you gotta keep saving more, you gotta 0:39:17.480 --> 0:39:20.040 keep saving more, you know, Like, but I hear you. 0:39:20.560 --> 0:39:22.000 A lot of people feel that way. 0:39:22.160 --> 0:39:24.120 Like a lot of people feel exactly the way that 0:39:24.160 --> 0:39:25.560 you do. It's not as I did, to do with 0:39:25.640 --> 0:39:28.200 being Cuban. It has to do with the human experience, 0:39:28.640 --> 0:39:30.680 you know, you're I mean, not many people go through 0:39:30.719 --> 0:39:32.600 life going I'm going to be great this whole time. 0:39:32.680 --> 0:39:34.160 Everything's going to go my way. 0:39:34.480 --> 0:39:35.600 Yeah, true, true. 0:39:35.640 --> 0:39:37.560 Well are we gonna say Anna, I was gonna say, well, yeah, 0:39:37.560 --> 0:39:39.719 as a Jew, you know, my parents, they they I 0:39:39.760 --> 0:39:41.640 feel sorry for them that I did this, you know 0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:42.040 what I mean. 0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:44.600 I'm always broke and I'm always I feel for you 0:39:44.640 --> 0:39:47.399 because this is where I am today this morning. Even. 0:39:47.719 --> 0:39:49.759 But I was gonna say, you're a producer, and you. 0:39:49.680 --> 0:39:51.880 Don't have to put yourself in a little category of 0:39:51.920 --> 0:39:52.960 just a reality. 0:39:52.640 --> 0:39:55.680 TV producer, because that's a hard job. You're a producer. 0:39:55.719 --> 0:39:57.880 You could produce. You know how many people need producers, 0:39:57.920 --> 0:39:59.680 like on a podcast. 0:39:59.280 --> 0:40:04.960 Or first or film or you knows your name out there, Yeah, commercials, advertising, 0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:07.600 even social media people need people to produce videos for 0:40:07.800 --> 0:40:10.719 Like it's there's so much more work I think as 0:40:10.719 --> 0:40:12.920 a producer, because you're obviously organized. You know how to 0:40:12.960 --> 0:40:16.239 like book a place or guests or whatnot. You know, 0:40:16.440 --> 0:40:18.440 like you know how to get people together. So I 0:40:18.480 --> 0:40:21.640 think just exercise that and you might find something that 0:40:21.680 --> 0:40:24.279 you like. Even you're like, wait, reality TV, that's so 0:40:24.440 --> 0:40:27.319 of the past, Like look at me, I'm running you know, 0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:31.040 six podcasts now. I always think, take whatever skills you enjoy, 0:40:31.440 --> 0:40:34.600 because you obviously went in a creative route, you chose 0:40:34.680 --> 0:40:37.080 not to go into like a corporate job. Like take 0:40:37.120 --> 0:40:39.880 those skills and just go and try something else with it, 0:40:39.920 --> 0:40:41.600 because I think you seem. 0:40:41.360 --> 0:40:42.640 Like you could do that. 0:40:43.120 --> 0:40:44.040 Thank you, thank you. 0:40:44.360 --> 0:40:46.600 Yeah. I also have this like feeling that like I've 0:40:46.600 --> 0:40:48.839 got to be out in La you know, that's where 0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:50.880 I kind of like set up my like network of people. 0:40:50.920 --> 0:40:53.200 I lived there for two years, and like I wrote 0:40:53.200 --> 0:40:55.080 in the email, like I've been back home with Mom 0:40:55.160 --> 0:40:57.520 who's been sick. I have my ninety three year old 0:40:57.520 --> 0:40:59.759 grandfather here who I'm also like helping out, you know, 0:40:59.800 --> 0:41:01.560 make you know, a doctor's appointment to whatnot. And my 0:41:01.600 --> 0:41:03.600 dad is a truck driver who's gone half the time. 0:41:04.040 --> 0:41:05.759 And so I feel like a little bit of a 0:41:06.640 --> 0:41:08.920 how to be home right now here in Miami. And 0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:10.839 I'm sure there's a ton of ton of work here, 0:41:10.880 --> 0:41:13.319 But again, my network's kind of like in La. So 0:41:13.360 --> 0:41:15.480 I'm kind of like again at that's like cross roads. 0:41:15.520 --> 0:41:17.399 But first of all, you can you can reach out 0:41:17.440 --> 0:41:19.520 to your network in LA and I guarantee you they're 0:41:19.520 --> 0:41:20.840 going to have connections in Miami. 0:41:21.200 --> 0:41:22.560 You can reach out to, you can. There's so many 0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:23.879 proactive things you can be doing. 0:41:23.920 --> 0:41:25.799 And I think being there for your family is so 0:41:25.880 --> 0:41:28.560 important and meaningful that it's great that you're doing that. 0:41:29.000 --> 0:41:31.040 We spend so much time thinking about what we're not 0:41:31.120 --> 0:41:31.839 doing instead of. 0:41:31.760 --> 0:41:33.000 Thinking about what we're doing. 0:41:33.200 --> 0:41:36.120 Like you are doing something very profound and meaningful by 0:41:36.160 --> 0:41:39.239 being available for your family. That is meaningful, And I 0:41:39.280 --> 0:41:41.960 would choose that any day over the week, over you know, 0:41:42.200 --> 0:41:43.200 any of this business. 0:41:43.480 --> 0:41:45.279 The reality is you have to work, but you can 0:41:45.360 --> 0:41:46.480 have it both ways. 0:41:46.600 --> 0:41:49.640 Like everything is possible, you just have to actually put 0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:51.440 in the work, which might be a little bit of 0:41:51.520 --> 0:41:53.760 like trying to figure out who would have a connection 0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:57.239 in Miami. And yes, I love Anna's advice about trying 0:41:57.239 --> 0:42:00.160 different things, because yeah, you could get a couple days 0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:03.440 on another job doing something completely different, on a modeling 0:42:03.480 --> 0:42:07.919 shoot or print shoot campaign and and and it'd be like, oh, 0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:09.759 I could make a couple I could do this five 0:42:09.840 --> 0:42:12.120 days a month when I'm here in Miami, or twenty 0:42:12.200 --> 0:42:14.879 days a month. You can find other avenues where you're 0:42:14.960 --> 0:42:17.480 making money. You're still in the industry you want to 0:42:17.480 --> 0:42:19.279 be in, but you're getting another look at kind of 0:42:19.360 --> 0:42:23.040 like various different parts of the industry, and they're. 0:42:22.840 --> 0:42:25.960 Gonna love that you have LA experience on your and 0:42:26.200 --> 0:42:28.080 they're gonna be like, oh, wow, he's the real deal. 0:42:28.200 --> 0:42:30.840 Okay, he lived in LA and produced reality shows like 0:42:31.160 --> 0:42:32.200 that's that's big. 0:42:34.320 --> 0:42:35.719 Yeah, it's cool. 0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:36.239 You know. 0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:40.080 I want you to see these three months not as 0:42:40.120 --> 0:42:43.319 like downtime. We are not making money, but we all 0:42:43.360 --> 0:42:47.440 know how busy a producer's life can be when you're working. 0:42:47.800 --> 0:42:50.000 So I want you to take these three months and 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:54.000 think bigger, not what job could I be doing, but 0:42:54.080 --> 0:42:56.680 what's my next career move? I mean, maybe you are 0:42:56.719 --> 0:42:58.759 at the point where it's hard to save, but you 0:42:58.760 --> 0:43:00.600 know what I think you need to be looking at 0:43:00.600 --> 0:43:04.799 this more creatively. This is your moment to think about 0:43:04.880 --> 0:43:08.239 what show do I maybe want to pitch, What ideas 0:43:08.360 --> 0:43:10.880 do I have? How can I level up my career 0:43:11.000 --> 0:43:13.120 to the point where I am making enough money that 0:43:13.160 --> 0:43:15.040 it's easy to put money into a four oh one K. 0:43:15.560 --> 0:43:17.799 I would also say a book I'd recommend for you 0:43:18.120 --> 0:43:21.240 is You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jensen Cero, 0:43:21.760 --> 0:43:24.439 who's been on the podcast before, and that. 0:43:24.600 --> 0:43:27.319 I wrote that book? Did I write it? You're very 0:43:27.320 --> 0:43:27.839 good at it. 0:43:28.080 --> 0:43:29.439 I need to read this book too. 0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:29.919 Now. 0:43:30.000 --> 0:43:30.439 It's great. 0:43:30.480 --> 0:43:33.000 It's kind of less about like what specifically to do 0:43:33.120 --> 0:43:36.120 and more about changing your mindset around money and fixing 0:43:36.239 --> 0:43:38.879 especially the scarcity thing that you have going on. You've 0:43:38.880 --> 0:43:42.319 got like very much a scarcity mindset and turning that 0:43:42.400 --> 0:43:45.719 into like training your mind to think in terms of abundance. 0:43:46.280 --> 0:43:47.759 And I'm going to get to you got to start 0:43:47.800 --> 0:43:50.840 meditating too. Like I say this to almost everybody, but 0:43:50.920 --> 0:43:54.359 it sucking. Makes such a difference to just constantly like 0:43:54.400 --> 0:43:57.919 there's all these mantras, guided mantras about you, and there's 0:43:58.360 --> 0:44:00.919 I promise you if you meditate for like five days 0:44:00.920 --> 0:44:02.439 in a row, you're going to just start to feel 0:44:02.440 --> 0:44:05.560 a lightness and a groundedness that you didn't feel because 0:44:05.560 --> 0:44:09.120 you're actually giving yourself that time to surround yourself with 0:44:09.160 --> 0:44:13.040 whatever imagery like calms you or lights or whatever, your 0:44:13.200 --> 0:44:18.040 whatever makes you feel protected, and like just visualizing what 0:44:18.160 --> 0:44:21.040 is your safest environment and telling yourself, like, you've got this. 0:44:21.360 --> 0:44:23.680 You're the reason why you've gotten this far to begin with. 0:44:24.280 --> 0:44:27.200 Like you're on your own team, so just make sure 0:44:27.600 --> 0:44:30.200 that you're always working for that team. 0:44:30.960 --> 0:44:33.239 Yeah. Absolutely, I used to meditate it a lot and 0:44:33.280 --> 0:44:35.200 I need to pick it back up. You're absolutely right. 0:44:35.360 --> 0:44:36.879 And I think I need to go to therapy again. 0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:37.719 I know you would say that. 0:44:37.960 --> 0:44:40.160 Yeah, I mean everyone should be in therapy. I just 0:44:40.200 --> 0:44:42.200 got off the phone with my therapist this morning, you guys. 0:44:42.200 --> 0:44:43.960 I just had a nice one hour session with my 0:44:44.000 --> 0:44:46.080 new therapist. I fucking love this woman. 0:44:46.200 --> 0:44:50.360 Yes, send me your contact, Okay, And right now you 0:44:50.360 --> 0:44:50.880 have the time. 0:44:51.160 --> 0:44:52.600 I wanted to say one other thing. 0:44:52.840 --> 0:44:54.799 You're never going to look back at this time and 0:44:54.840 --> 0:44:57.680 regret being with your family, you know, like in the 0:44:57.719 --> 0:45:00.520 future you'll look back and be like, need to do 0:45:00.520 --> 0:45:02.719 that dumb gig in La for like a weekend and like, 0:45:02.840 --> 0:45:04.920 you know, stress myself out, like you'll always look back 0:45:04.920 --> 0:45:06.440 at loving the time with your family. 0:45:06.480 --> 0:45:08.719 So absolutely, no, you're so right, And just. 0:45:08.640 --> 0:45:11.200 To remember, like I always like to think open instead 0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:13.880 of contract, like when you're thinking about career stuff and 0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:15.200 like dabbling in different things. 0:45:15.560 --> 0:45:17.120 Don't think you only do one thing. 0:45:17.280 --> 0:45:19.319 Think oh, what else can I do that I don't 0:45:19.320 --> 0:45:21.640 know that I can do yet, Like what else is there? 0:45:21.680 --> 0:45:24.399 And be very open to all the possibilities and maybe 0:45:24.440 --> 0:45:26.360 even if it's a job opportunity, like a couple of 0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:28.400 days work here and there on some sort of production 0:45:28.800 --> 0:45:31.680 that isn't reality based or that you're not that familiar with, 0:45:32.080 --> 0:45:34.760 even if it doesn't sound appealing, like I would beseech 0:45:34.800 --> 0:45:37.239 you to just try it. You know, you don't know 0:45:37.280 --> 0:45:39.040 what all the stuff that's out there that you're gonna 0:45:39.160 --> 0:45:41.200 like until you do it, and you can cross it 0:45:41.200 --> 0:45:42.319 off and go that's not for me. 0:45:42.560 --> 0:45:43.160 This is for me. 0:45:43.560 --> 0:45:47.840 Yeah, it's that improv rule. Yes and yes, yeah. 0:45:47.680 --> 0:45:54.640 Yeah, So Ariana Grande's latest song, Oh yeah. 0:45:52.920 --> 0:45:54.680 What is it? What is it? I think I listened 0:45:54.680 --> 0:45:59.280 to it yesterday, yes, and yes, okay, there you go, Okay. 0:45:59.120 --> 0:45:59.440 I don't know. 0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:01.919 She went to say city. 0:46:02.000 --> 0:46:04.400 This is traumatizing for people in comedy. Why does she 0:46:04.480 --> 0:46:07.080 need I Likedriana Grande until this song. I'm like, I can't, 0:46:07.120 --> 0:46:07.439 I can't. 0:46:09.040 --> 0:46:11.759 Yeah, yeah, all right, well, thank you also so so much. 0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:12.920 I'm taking this all to heart. 0:46:13.120 --> 0:46:20.080 Okay, and wey bye, Honey, take care great, Harvey's taken 0:46:20.080 --> 0:46:20.960 care of wonderful. 0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:23.279 Yeah, this is like I like what you said Anna 0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:25.759 about like it's like a teacher, like this is the 0:46:25.800 --> 0:46:30.440 time he gets to focus on himself, do some soul searching. 0:46:30.160 --> 0:46:30.880 All that stuff. 0:46:31.200 --> 0:46:33.120 Oh my god, I wish I could work nine months 0:46:33.120 --> 0:46:35.759 out of the year. I was like, that sounds amazing. Unemployed. 0:46:35.800 --> 0:46:38.920 What I'm sorry, We're. 0:46:38.800 --> 0:46:40.080 Going to take a break and we're going to be 0:46:40.160 --> 0:46:46.600 right back to wrap it up, and we're back. 0:46:46.840 --> 0:46:48.200 We're back. Well. 0:46:48.200 --> 0:46:50.319 Our next question comes from Brittany, and this one's just 0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:54.880 an email. Brittany says, Dear Chelsea, I work in a 0:46:54.880 --> 0:46:57.640 male dominated environment, and it's all too common to hear 0:46:57.680 --> 0:47:01.360 about committed men having affairs on their partner. I recently 0:47:01.440 --> 0:47:03.640 learned about a guy from work, let's call him John, 0:47:03.880 --> 0:47:05.959 who was sleeping with a girl from my work, let's 0:47:05.960 --> 0:47:09.800 call her Jane. Neither John nor Jane are friends of mine. However, 0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:12.160 I was part of a wedding party this summer with 0:47:12.239 --> 0:47:15.640 John's wife, let's call her Sam. At this point, I 0:47:15.719 --> 0:47:18.080 knew about John and Jane's affair, but I was under 0:47:18.080 --> 0:47:20.080 the impression that it was short lived and had been 0:47:20.120 --> 0:47:22.799 over for a few months. Before this wedding, I was 0:47:22.840 --> 0:47:24.600 not friends with Sam and didn't feel like it was 0:47:24.640 --> 0:47:26.640 my place to say anything. But then I had a 0:47:26.680 --> 0:47:29.239 great bonding experience with Sam at the wedding and we 0:47:29.239 --> 0:47:32.719 said we should keep in touch, and I recently learned 0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:36.200 that John and Jane's affair is still ongoing. I feel 0:47:36.280 --> 0:47:39.880 terrible for Sam. She's a wonderful person, working mother of five, 0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:42.800 and I feel more inclined to say something at this point, 0:47:43.200 --> 0:47:45.200 but I'm still not sure if I'm the right person 0:47:45.280 --> 0:47:47.240 to do it, or that I should be getting involved 0:47:47.239 --> 0:47:47.560 at all. 0:47:48.080 --> 0:47:49.440 I just know that if it were. 0:47:49.360 --> 0:47:51.719 Me in this situation, I'd want to know that my 0:47:51.760 --> 0:47:54.320 husband was having an affair. So should I tell Sam 0:47:54.400 --> 0:47:58.279 or should I stay out of it? Best regards brittany An, 0:47:58.520 --> 0:47:58.920 I'll let. 0:47:58.880 --> 0:47:59.680 You go first on this. 0:48:00.160 --> 0:48:06.040 Really, yeah, I I feel like you have to tell her. 0:48:06.200 --> 0:48:08.640 I don't know unless it's been so long you think 0:48:08.680 --> 0:48:09.359 she even knows. 0:48:09.400 --> 0:48:09.759 I don't know. 0:48:09.840 --> 0:48:13.239 Obviously she's writing in right, it's on her chest and 0:48:13.680 --> 0:48:16.279 she knows that deep down she probably should tell her, 0:48:16.320 --> 0:48:18.799 but it wants to feel like, well, maybe if I don't, 0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:20.400 life will move on and it'll be better. 0:48:20.760 --> 0:48:21.439 This brought back. 0:48:21.480 --> 0:48:23.120 I literally am like, oh my god. I had a 0:48:23.160 --> 0:48:25.560 friend and I knew her boyfriend. She had said, I 0:48:25.560 --> 0:48:27.640 think he's cheating on me, cheating on me. And literally 0:48:27.640 --> 0:48:29.839 two years later I met a friend in LA and 0:48:30.120 --> 0:48:32.000 she was the one he was cheating on. And I 0:48:32.560 --> 0:48:35.840 connected these dots and I was like, oh, oh my god, 0:48:36.000 --> 0:48:38.880 do I tell my friend? Like I know, she didn't 0:48:38.880 --> 0:48:40.359 know who it was. And I'm like, oh my god, 0:48:40.400 --> 0:48:43.279 it's someone I know. That's awful, but and I think 0:48:43.360 --> 0:48:46.680 about it still. I ended up saying it after everyone. 0:48:46.520 --> 0:48:48.480 Was broken that no one was with the sky anymore. 0:48:48.600 --> 0:48:51.239 But I was like, yeah, if you know something and 0:48:51.280 --> 0:48:53.920 you respect this person, I would say, you know, be 0:48:54.040 --> 0:48:55.759 there for them and support them, and I would tell 0:48:55.800 --> 0:48:58.240 them maybe I'm I don't know, it's gonna. 0:48:58.000 --> 0:48:58.839 Be hard either way. 0:48:59.000 --> 0:49:01.600 I couldn't agree with more listen as a woman, there 0:49:01.600 --> 0:49:03.880 needs to be more honesty in this world not less honesty. 0:49:04.080 --> 0:49:07.360 As a woman, it is imperative. 0:49:06.600 --> 0:49:08.880 That we are honest with each other because we have 0:49:09.000 --> 0:49:13.239 been short shrifted our entire existence and lie to And 0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:15.800 as a woman, I would tell a stranger if I 0:49:15.840 --> 0:49:18.879 knew something about her life because I would want her 0:49:18.920 --> 0:49:21.600 to know, and she can do Listen, it's a new friend. 0:49:21.600 --> 0:49:24.240 It's not your close friends, so whatever. If she doesn't 0:49:24.239 --> 0:49:26.399 want to be friends with you after, then that's fine too. 0:49:26.880 --> 0:49:29.480 But I think this is an opportunity for you to 0:49:29.520 --> 0:49:31.640 show up for someone in a way that is meaningful, 0:49:31.960 --> 0:49:34.359 because it is not fair for her to have five 0:49:34.440 --> 0:49:37.480 children and a husband who's having an affair while she's 0:49:37.520 --> 0:49:38.560 fucking doing everything. 0:49:38.960 --> 0:49:39.840 It's just not fair. 0:49:39.920 --> 0:49:42.880 And I don't think it's in being an interloper when 0:49:42.920 --> 0:49:45.480 you're telling someone the truth, Like and I've had friendships 0:49:45.560 --> 0:49:48.480 end because of telling the truth, you know, But I 0:49:48.560 --> 0:49:50.600 will never stop telling people the truth, and I will 0:49:50.600 --> 0:49:54.080 never stop telling women the truth. There's a feeling inside 0:49:54.080 --> 0:49:56.800 of me, and I think many of us can relate 0:49:56.840 --> 0:49:58.920 to it. I'm sure I know both of you are 0:49:58.920 --> 0:50:01.480 going to agree with me that there is a sisterhood 0:50:01.840 --> 0:50:04.399 and we all owe it to each other to think 0:50:04.440 --> 0:50:07.440 of each other first before some guy. We need to 0:50:07.480 --> 0:50:12.040 be on each other's team, and that requires sometimes difficult conversations, 0:50:12.040 --> 0:50:13.799 but moreover, honesty. 0:50:13.960 --> 0:50:16.680 There is no way you can go wrong with being honest. 0:50:17.640 --> 0:50:19.600 Yeah, and it'll be hard at first, but you know 0:50:20.200 --> 0:50:23.359 she'll be better for it, Like it will, she'll learn 0:50:23.480 --> 0:50:24.440 to handle this. 0:50:24.480 --> 0:50:26.319 It's not going to get where she might be like 0:50:26.400 --> 0:50:28.319 fuck you and I don't want to hear this and 0:50:28.600 --> 0:50:31.080 I don't believe you, and it might ruin your relationship, but. 0:50:31.040 --> 0:50:32.759 I still would do it. I would. I would say 0:50:32.760 --> 0:50:34.200 it's more important to be honest. 0:50:34.480 --> 0:50:37.560 Do you think there are any safeguards that she could 0:50:37.640 --> 0:50:41.520 take in telling because she works with this guy, Like, 0:50:41.560 --> 0:50:43.680 my one concern is that this is going to affect 0:50:43.719 --> 0:50:46.360 her career negatively because she'll be known as like the 0:50:46.440 --> 0:50:49.440 person who outed John like for having this affair. 0:50:50.280 --> 0:50:52.640 Yeah, I mean that's going to be an issue. 0:50:53.040 --> 0:50:55.879 But they're just colleagues, right, Yeah, it's not like he's 0:50:55.920 --> 0:50:57.319 her boss or something that. 0:50:57.400 --> 0:50:59.680 Yeah, not as far as I mean, Yeah, I don't know. 0:50:59.760 --> 0:51:02.359 You know, when you get into like don't tell them 0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:05.520 I told you, like that is all very Yeah. 0:51:05.120 --> 0:51:06.319 It's like it's irrelevant. 0:51:06.400 --> 0:51:09.600 It's almost like, yeah, I'm telling on you and you're 0:51:09.600 --> 0:51:12.480 gonna hate me, so you're gonna just have to pony 0:51:12.560 --> 0:51:15.479 up to that. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna 0:51:15.480 --> 0:51:18.080 watch this happen. It's gross. I want to see it, 0:51:18.200 --> 0:51:18.400 you know. 0:51:19.080 --> 0:51:21.319 And I think sometimes when we're carrying the weight of 0:51:21.360 --> 0:51:23.839 someone else's secrets, we don't give enough weight to how 0:51:23.880 --> 0:51:26.480 that affects us. Like I know someone who kept a 0:51:26.560 --> 0:51:29.680 very similar secret to this for years, for a long 0:51:29.719 --> 0:51:32.000 long time about something that was going on, and it 0:51:32.080 --> 0:51:34.520 really truly impacted her. 0:51:34.400 --> 0:51:36.240 Health in a in a huge way. 0:51:36.560 --> 0:51:40.600 So I think we can't really underestimate how how impactful 0:51:40.760 --> 0:51:42.239 carrying someone else's secrets can be. 0:51:42.840 --> 0:51:44.359 M Yeah, I mean she. 0:51:44.400 --> 0:51:46.360 Lost me when she said she had five kids, Like 0:51:46.400 --> 0:51:47.360 she's home caring. 0:51:47.160 --> 0:51:50.920 For five kits and off a holiday party like looking 0:51:50.960 --> 0:51:52.600 up with someone like stakes are raised. 0:51:52.880 --> 0:51:55.440 Yes, Yeah, I just don't understand these women either that 0:51:55.520 --> 0:51:57.759 have affairs with men who have five children and have 0:51:57.800 --> 0:52:00.239 a wife at home, Like what are you telling yourself 0:52:00.400 --> 0:52:02.760 that this is a good this is a good karma 0:52:02.840 --> 0:52:05.879 for you and for there's there's children involved, Like, It's 0:52:05.920 --> 0:52:07.440 just it's gross. 0:52:08.520 --> 0:52:13.040 So yeah, anyway, brittany time to tattle okay. 0:52:13.320 --> 0:52:16.120 Anna Roisman, You've been such a delight. Anna. Tell everyone 0:52:16.160 --> 0:52:18.839 how they can watch you find you all of your shit. 0:52:19.360 --> 0:52:19.680 Thanks. 0:52:19.760 --> 0:52:22.560 You can find me anywhere online at Anna Roisman A 0:52:22.760 --> 0:52:25.080 N N A R O I S M A N. 0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:28.960 I post a lot of dum celebrity impressions and stuff. 0:52:29.400 --> 0:52:31.440 I have fun doing it, you know, especially when they 0:52:31.520 --> 0:52:33.360 like it. When they don't like it. It's a little 0:52:33.400 --> 0:52:35.560 touch and go. But you know, for the most. 0:52:35.360 --> 0:52:37.560 Part, do you get a lot of feedback from celebrities 0:52:37.600 --> 0:52:38.239 who don't like it? 0:52:38.719 --> 0:52:38.880 You know. 0:52:39.000 --> 0:52:41.359 I used to get blocked from Instagram a lot. 0:52:41.400 --> 0:52:43.600 I get warnings a lot, and I think someone was 0:52:43.640 --> 0:52:47.120 reporting me, which was scary. And that's Hilaria Baldwin. And 0:52:47.160 --> 0:52:48.479 I'm okay with it now, you. 0:52:48.360 --> 0:52:52.480 Know, Laria Baldwin, what a mess. 0:52:52.239 --> 0:52:54.600 People think I'm her on diktok. It's a little scary. 0:52:54.680 --> 0:52:57.400 That was an accident. We do look alike, I guess 0:52:57.480 --> 0:53:00.279 you can say. But oh, and I want to say. 0:53:00.480 --> 0:53:02.600 You can listen to my podcast. It's called Big Wigs. 0:53:03.080 --> 0:53:05.719 My friend Andrea and I do impressions together. We do 0:53:05.840 --> 0:53:08.719 Chris and Courtney together, and we shoot the shit and 0:53:08.800 --> 0:53:11.279 talk about things that are in pop culture and we 0:53:11.320 --> 0:53:11.680 have fun. 0:53:12.080 --> 0:53:15.319 Hearing you two like do Chris and Courtney together at 0:53:15.320 --> 0:53:17.000 each other is hysterical. 0:53:17.280 --> 0:53:17.680 Thank you. 0:53:18.040 --> 0:53:20.239 Okay, Well, that's our show for today. And I hope 0:53:20.239 --> 0:53:21.600 I see you again. I'll see you when I'm in 0:53:21.640 --> 0:53:22.279 New York next. 0:53:22.640 --> 0:53:24.759 I would love that. I'll be in La also, I'll 0:53:24.800 --> 0:53:27.080 find you. I can't wait. I gotta go out with Jamie. 0:53:27.280 --> 0:53:30.240 Okay, Well, good luck with everything. I love watching your success. 0:53:30.480 --> 0:53:33.040 You're gonna love you crushing it for a long time. 0:53:33.200 --> 0:53:35.319 So yes, I'll see you again soon. And thanks for 0:53:35.360 --> 0:53:36.799 coming on the podcast for having me. 0:53:36.840 --> 0:53:37.279 You're the best. 0:53:37.360 --> 0:53:38.240 Yeah, thank you for sure. 0:53:38.440 --> 0:53:39.040 Thanks Anna. 0:53:39.440 --> 0:53:43.399 Bye, guys, thank you bye, okay bye, okay. So show 0:53:43.480 --> 0:53:46.239 dates coming up Canadian show dates. These are for Canadians, guys. 0:53:46.280 --> 0:53:49.880 I'm coming February ninth. I'll be in Winnipeg, Victoria, BC 0:53:50.560 --> 0:53:53.239 is March eighth. Then i will be in Salt Lake 0:53:53.280 --> 0:53:56.960 City April fourth, and Denver April fifth. I'm coming to 0:53:57.040 --> 0:54:01.480 Arizona at Maricopa April twelfth. April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, 0:54:01.480 --> 0:54:05.160 California at the Cash Creek Casino, and then I'm going 0:54:05.239 --> 0:54:08.600 to be in Santa Rosa Sunday, April fourteenth. I'm coming 0:54:08.600 --> 0:54:13.759 to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland on April twentieth, Gary, Indiana, 0:54:14.080 --> 0:54:19.479 Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming to Oklahoma, Norman, Oklahoma on May 0:54:19.560 --> 0:54:22.719 third and May fourth. I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma 0:54:22.800 --> 0:54:26.279 for my rescheduled Windstar World Casino date. And I want 0:54:26.280 --> 0:54:28.400 to make sure that I give a shout out to 0:54:28.520 --> 0:54:30.880 our show for Netflix. As a joke Festival, I put 0:54:30.920 --> 0:54:33.399 together a show with some of my favorite comics. It's 0:54:33.440 --> 0:54:36.160 May eleventh at the YouTube Theater Downtown, which I've never 0:54:36.200 --> 0:54:37.600 performed in, so that's going to be fun. It's a 0:54:37.800 --> 0:54:41.520 pretty big I have Matteo Lane, I have Fortune Themester performing, 0:54:41.600 --> 0:54:44.840 I have Sam Jays on the show and Vanessa Gonzale. 0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:48.080 So we it is called a Jew two Mexicans, No 0:54:48.200 --> 0:54:51.360 a Jew, two gays in a Mexican, No a Jew. 0:54:51.520 --> 0:54:55.080 Three gays at a Mexican. So it's political correctness at 0:54:55.120 --> 0:54:57.880 its finest. And then I will be in Verona, New 0:54:57.960 --> 0:55:00.840 York on May twenty sixth, and then I'm coming to 0:55:00.880 --> 0:55:06.480 Australia in July and New Zealand July fifth, Auckland and 0:55:06.640 --> 0:55:08.760 I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand. 0:55:08.520 --> 0:55:10.160 Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney. 0:55:10.680 --> 0:55:12.560 So those are all my dates for that are up 0:55:12.600 --> 0:55:14.480 and available, so get your tickets. 0:55:14.520 --> 0:55:17.640 I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it. 0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:20.880 If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email 0:55:20.920 --> 0:55:23.759 at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be 0:55:23.800 --> 0:55:26.840 sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited 0:55:26.840 --> 0:55:30.520 and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and 0:55:30.560 --> 0:55:33.000 be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot 0:55:33.040 --> 0:55:35.640 com