Speaker 1: Hello, Hey are you Hey? What's up?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: What's your name? My name is James, James. What's going on?
Speaker 3: James?
Speaker 1: What you want to talk about today?
Speaker 3: Well, uh, there is one thing that I wanted to
Speaker 3: say to you specifically. Sure before I get into talking
Speaker 3: about what I want to.
Speaker 1: About, I'm a little nervous. What's up?
Speaker 3: No, No, don't be nervous. I feel like you rag
Speaker 3: on yourself all the time for not being so knowledgeable
Speaker 3: about stuff. But I want you to realize that, you know,
Speaker 3: people don't really come to you to understand everything. I
Speaker 3: think what people really like about you and your channel
Speaker 3: is the fact that you have an interesting way of
Speaker 3: thinking about things, and you're very open and accepted that.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Man, that's incredibly sweety to say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I just it really sucks whenever you rag
Speaker 3: on yourself. You know, sorry, you gotta forgive me. I'm
Speaker 3: kind of nervous.
Speaker 1: No, you're making me, you're making me tear up and yours.
Speaker 1: It's a serious, serious, sweet guy, James, appreciate that. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Uh, Well, this is this is well, this
Speaker 1: is nice. Well ship. Well, thanks, thanks, I'm trying my best.
Speaker 1: I'm trying my best Yeah, it's hard. It's like, it's
Speaker 1: a difficult So I'd not say I feel like a
Speaker 1: fucking uh pussy sometimes, but it's a difficult. It feels
Speaker 1: like a very difficult show to do, and I'm trying
Speaker 1: my best. So thanks man. Well what's what's what's up
Speaker 1: with you, James? What else is going on?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: Well, I actually got out of a six and a
Speaker 3: half year relationship not too long ago, a couple of
Speaker 3: months ago, and it did suck at the time, but
Speaker 3: I feel like I was able to find peace relatively quickly,
Speaker 3: and I think you're sharing that might help people who
Speaker 3: are going through similar situations. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you were with this lady for six years
Speaker 1: and then when when did you guys break up?
Speaker 3: We broke up in March earlier this year.
Speaker 1: And what was it that helped helped you gain peace?
Speaker 3: Well, the thing that honestly really helped me gain peace
Speaker 3: was just coming to accept the fact that a lot
Speaker 3: of the things that she broke up with me over
Speaker 3: were definitely issues in the past. But I looked at
Speaker 3: myself as a completely different person than, you know, the
Speaker 3: guy who made a lot of the mistakes that I
Speaker 3: had in the past. A lot of the issues that
Speaker 3: she cited were you know, years old at the time,
Speaker 3: and I definitely had made progress to being the person
Speaker 3: that I wanted to be, yeah, and definitely a better
Speaker 3: partner to her. But I realized that, you know, even
Speaker 3: though that I felt as if I was worthy for
Speaker 3: forgiveness of the past, she didn't necessarily owe it today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: And just realizing that I had made progress from you know,
Speaker 3: being somebody who I didn't really like and becoming a
Speaker 3: better father and a better, better partner overall, just a
Speaker 3: better person, really stepping up and providing. I realized that,
Speaker 3: you know, my history is always going to be a
Speaker 3: part of me, for sure, and some people may dislike it,
Speaker 3: some people may be okay with it, not really care.
Speaker 3: But the thing is, as long as you're progressing, you
Speaker 3: gotta you gotta appreciate that. You gotta You can't you
Speaker 3: can't derive happiness from, you know, things that you expect
Speaker 3: to come out of life, only what progress you've been
Speaker 3: able to make in the time that you're doing you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, you sound like you've been You've
Speaker 1: really been thinking a lot about uh, your life either
Speaker 1: with a therapist or with your just in your brain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I haven't ever talked to a therapist.
Speaker 1: Well, you seem like you've been you you're you know
Speaker 1: that what who the who's fucking quote is it? It's
Speaker 1: like someone of the guy in one of those fucking
Speaker 1: old Greek god They were like, uh, something about the
Speaker 1: unexamined life. You sound like you've you've been examining your
Speaker 1: life a lot recently, coming to some of the conclusions.
Speaker 3: I knew that all the time. I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: a very holy analytical person, honestly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, how can I hold you are?
Speaker 3: I'm twenty three and you have a kid? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Has he? How has your kid doing?
Speaker 3: Oh? She's probably the happiest two year old I know
Speaker 3: any Like everybody's talks about terrible twos, but on she's
Speaker 3: just like always happy and playful, and she only cries
Speaker 3: like maybe once a week. You know, sometimes she throws
Speaker 3: a little bit of temper tantrums, But I feel like
Speaker 3: it's very easy to calm her down too, because you
Speaker 3: just got to sit down and talk to her, look
Speaker 3: her in the base and make her feel like she's
Speaker 3: being hurt and what she wants.
Speaker 1: Has it? Has it? Been are you is? And did
Speaker 1: you have this kid with the girlfriend that you were
Speaker 1: talking about?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were high school sweethearts, got out of
Speaker 3: high school. We were together for about four years when
Speaker 3: she got pregnant, three and a half years or so
Speaker 3: when my ex got pregnant, and you know, we had
Speaker 3: the kid. And then after having after my daughter was
Speaker 3: about one years old, is when you broke things? All?
Speaker 1: Has it? How has it been? Has it been sharing
Speaker 1: custody and all that stuff?
Speaker 3: You know, it's actually been. That was something that I
Speaker 3: was really nervous about because I I feel like she's
Speaker 3: somewhat of a vindictive person. I thought she would have
Speaker 3: tried a lot harder to use my child against me,
Speaker 3: you know, but she honestly has been very cooperative about
Speaker 3: the whole thing. We've had some differences and what we
Speaker 3: want to do with ever release sometimes, but you know,
Speaker 3: we sorry that's my daughter's name, by the way, But
Speaker 3: you know, honestly, it hasn't been the worst. We've been
Speaker 3: able to stay out of court for most things. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm making child support payments and everything like that, keeping
Speaker 3: it all documented and everything. But outside of that, we
Speaker 3: can usually come to an agreement about most things.
Speaker 1: M What do you do for work? Oh?
Speaker 3: I do paintless dent repair. I'm actually at my job
Speaker 3: right now. I just I take dents out of cars
Speaker 3: without needing to repaint them, basically just massage the metal
Speaker 3: back into place. Mm hmm, and uh get paid pretty
Speaker 3: damn well too.
Speaker 1: Do you do you do you feel peaceful.
Speaker 3: Like at my job?
Speaker 1: It's in general?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do, honestly. Now I'm nervous.
Speaker 1: You know what? What? What? What made?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: In general? Makes you feel peaceful?
Speaker 3: I just honestly feel like I I have hope for
Speaker 3: the future, and I can also look at where I
Speaker 3: have been at in the past and the fact that
Speaker 3: there were so many rough things that I had to
Speaker 3: push through to get to where I am now, so
Speaker 3: where it doesn't really matter what's coming in the future.
Speaker 3: I just know that I will be able to handle
Speaker 3: her to the most, you know, like I had who
Speaker 3: I'm like, I've given too much information about myself. I
Speaker 3: don't know if I want to delve too deep into
Speaker 3: the past. Whatever you want, man, Yeah, well, I've gotten
Speaker 3: over a lot of addictions in the past. I used
Speaker 3: to be addicted to pretty much, you know, anything I
Speaker 3: could get my hands onto cut all that out. When
Speaker 3: I learned my ex was pregnant, there was just you know,
Speaker 3: I also started a business a while back doing paintless.
Speaker 3: Didn't repair, and I was able to buy a house
Speaker 3: at twenty one. Cool gone now of course, because we
Speaker 3: broke up. You know, I just feel like I've been
Speaker 3: through quite a bit and I've always come out, you know,
Speaker 3: in a relatively better spot. So I just don't have
Speaker 3: to really worry about what's coming, just knowing that I
Speaker 3: can be confident in my abilities to take care of it.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting because I'm constantly, just to guess, relate
Speaker 1: to you in some way. I feel like I'm I'm
Speaker 1: constantly uh searching after a sense of security in in
Speaker 1: my life, and I think I'm always well, it's like
Speaker 1: I talk so much because I only because I think
Speaker 1: about it so much about how how much of life
Speaker 1: is kind of internal versus external, And I think I
Speaker 1: search for a lot of my security externally, and I
Speaker 1: find a lot of security and external things. But what
Speaker 1: you're talking about just the this this like the security
Speaker 1: in this innate belief that you have you know exactly
Speaker 1: who you are and what you're capable of and what
Speaker 1: you can withstand and and like that, nobody can ever
Speaker 1: take that away from you. Is it really is a
Speaker 1: powerful form of of internal security that can that can
Speaker 1: even over a lot of things we try to find
Speaker 1: external security in, like like relationships or things like that,
Speaker 1: because it's you know, it's it's crazy, because a lot
Speaker 1: of that stuff is out of our control. But that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean we want to negate its existence and ignore
Speaker 1: it and be fucking you know, monks and whatever.
Speaker 3: Uh oh, But that that is a modern development for
Speaker 3: me as well, like very recent development for me as well.
Speaker 3: Because I was doing that, I was pulling a lot
Speaker 3: of you know, peace of mind out of my relationship.
Speaker 3: Because we were together for six years, we had been
Speaker 3: through a lot, so I thought everything was completely unshakeable
Speaker 3: in terms of that, and instead of seeing me as myself,
Speaker 3: I kind of saw myself as a partner, you know,
Speaker 3: or a provider, a father. And I was pulling a
Speaker 3: lot of my piece out of being a part of
Speaker 3: everything that I was involved in rather than who I
Speaker 3: was as a person. You know, it was my relationships
Speaker 3: and the thing that I had accomplished, right, rather than
Speaker 3: that I can't accomplish and knowing what struggles I have
Speaker 3: been through to become a better person.
Speaker 1: Right, well, it's so fucking weird, man, because I think
Speaker 1: that there's uh, there's like there's gotta be some balance
Speaker 1: or some place on a spectrum, because I do think
Speaker 1: it's important to really like have other people that you
Speaker 1: care about and that are part of your I mean,
Speaker 1: that's I guess what's nice about being a dad, it seems,
Speaker 1: is that you have this other person that you like,
Speaker 1: you have you have something that's not just yourself to
Speaker 1: really really really strongly care about and that like needs you.
Speaker 3: It's just for certain, for certain, especially because you know,
Speaker 3: after and it happened, I'm quit my job and I
Speaker 3: was in a different state at the time that we
Speaker 3: broke up. She just poke up with me over text,
Speaker 3: which is kind of crazy after six years. But regardless,
Speaker 3: I almost just quit my job right then, drove the
Speaker 3: five hours home and just try to fix things, and
Speaker 3: you know that didn't work out. I didn't do that.
Speaker 3: So having my daughter there really also kept it in
Speaker 3: the back of my mind that I need to keep
Speaker 3: this job. I need to dig through, you know, and
Speaker 3: also I need to push past my feelings and not
Speaker 3: just feel down like I have a reason that I
Speaker 3: need to keep on going. I can't just walk and
Speaker 3: quit out on my Well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so you said, well, I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: hear that you've been able to build a really strong
Speaker 1: sense of like internal confidence. That's that's not easy to
Speaker 1: do and it's important. So I'm glad to hear you
Speaker 1: were able to do it. What, uh, what do you
Speaker 1: want to do with that internal confidence? What's the next
Speaker 1: in your life? King?
Speaker 3: Uh? You're asking me, like, what my long term goals are? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: I have like, okay, I have realistic, I have ridiculous,
Speaker 3: and I have somewhat in the middle of what do
Speaker 3: What do you want? Birds? Uh?
Speaker 1: You have realistic ridiculous, and so let's start with ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Let's why only go from ridiculous and work our way
Speaker 1: back to earth.
Speaker 3: Ridiculous. This is definitely people are going to know exactly
Speaker 3: who I am after I say this, But.
Speaker 1: Why are you? Are you scud? Let's let you talk.
Speaker 3: I tell everybody this, But I really want to be
Speaker 3: a space pirate. I want to I want to Uh,
Speaker 3: I really want to study electrical engineering and aerospace engineering
Speaker 3: to create maybe a a better type of electrostatic propulsion
Speaker 3: system or you know, a massless reaction system for spacecraft.
Speaker 3: And if I can do that, I'm going to retire
Speaker 3: and I'm just going to be a pirate out in
Speaker 3: space stealing minerals and ship from SpaceX. But I know
Speaker 3: that's ridiculous. I'm still going to try it, try for it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, the somewhat in the middle of that is
Speaker 3: I definitely am going to work on getting my degree
Speaker 3: in aerospace and electrical engineering. I want a duel major
Speaker 3: on that. I think that would be sweet, and potentially
Speaker 3: get a job for NASA or you know, maybe Boeing
Speaker 3: or someplace like that, maybe even SpaceX. And then realistically,
Speaker 3: what I am working on right now is I'm investing
Speaker 3: a lot of money into tax leans so that eventually
Speaker 3: I can, eventually I can house much of the homeless
Speaker 3: population in Atlanta. I would really love to do that.
Speaker 1: Well, how's what do you mean? How's how tell them?
Speaker 1: How does that work? What does a tax lian?
Speaker 3: Oh? Okay, so if you don't pay your property taxes,
Speaker 3: the government of your county wherever you wherever you're at,
Speaker 3: they auction them off in a tax lean sale. Or
Speaker 3: sometimes it's a tax d depending on what state you're in.
Speaker 3: You go to the courthouse, you bid on them, and
Speaker 3: you either get the house after a year, or you
Speaker 3: get your money back plus twenty percent. You know, So
Speaker 3: maybe let's say that, Yeah, let's say that this house
Speaker 3: is like two hundred thousand dollars, right, they have back
Speaker 3: taxes on it of ten thousand dollars. You go in,
Speaker 3: you bid on the back taxes or twelve thousand. Well,
Speaker 3: you're gonna get all of your twelve thousand back and
Speaker 3: you're gonna get twenty percent on the you know, ten
Speaker 3: thousand of the back tax, so you get an extra
Speaker 3: two thousand out of that. Or if they don't pay
Speaker 3: you get the house. You get all of the entire
Speaker 3: equity of the house.
Speaker 1: So you're how are you hoping to use this to
Speaker 1: how's the homeless population?
Speaker 3: I really want to buy a large plot of land
Speaker 3: and start using sustainable building methods like rammed earth and
Speaker 3: just to you know, create lots of apartments and use
Speaker 3: the homeless people themselves, hire them on and teach them
Speaker 3: the skills to build these houses. Start a company that
Speaker 3: you know employs a lot of them, just so that
Speaker 3: I can continue to build houses, sell them or use
Speaker 3: them to house the you know, homeless population here in
Speaker 3: Atlanta and just kind of take care of the problem
Speaker 3: that way.
Speaker 1: Cool man is that? Yeah, No, it's it's a cool
Speaker 1: it's a cool idea. That's a cool idea. Well, Matt,
Speaker 1: you listen. You sound like you got you sound like
Speaker 1: you're doing all right. Well, if I had to rank
Speaker 1: the if I if I had to rank you on
Speaker 1: a scale from like most depressed person I've heard on
Speaker 1: the show to least depressed person I've heard on the show,
Speaker 1: myself included myself very much included. I would I would
Speaker 1: put you on the lower end of that spectrum, which
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope you're proud of.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I do appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 3: Can I ask you like, has my voice sounded like
Speaker 3: shaky and nervous this entire time?
Speaker 1: I want it? Really truly, hasn't? I've it?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 1: You sound you sound quite confident. Actually you sound uh,
Speaker 1: I like your voice not to be you know, weird,
Speaker 1: but you know you have a you have a nice voice.
Speaker 3: Thank you, I do appreciate it. And yeah, thanks thanks
Speaker 3: to being in front of so many people.
Speaker 1: No, you were, you were, you were great man. I
Speaker 1: and thank you again for the kind of words he
Speaker 1: said at the beginning. They really were. We're sweeten and mental.
Speaker 3: Lot, oh absolutely, and Lyle, you have millions of people
Speaker 3: who watch.
Speaker 1: A million who knows, who knows?
Speaker 3: They all come for they all come for a reason, man,
Speaker 3: like you're just a likable person and you have such
Speaker 3: a great way of thinking, like you gotta stop ragging
Speaker 3: on yourself so long.
Speaker 1: Thanks Thanks man. I'm gonna I'll try not to. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try. I keep saying, I'm gonna try to hate
Speaker 1: myself only the I think there's an optimal amount of
Speaker 1: of hating yourself, and I'm trying to get there. I
Speaker 1: think it's probably on the lower end of what I
Speaker 1: currently do now, and I'm gonna try to try to
Speaker 1: get there.
Speaker 3: I don't think you gotto. I think you gotta. I
Speaker 3: think you got to hate the fact that there are
Speaker 3: goals that you haven't yet accomplished, but not yourself in
Speaker 3: the fact that you have accomplished, but hate the fact
Speaker 3: that the parents has that you haven't done.
Speaker 1: You're You're a good You're a good guy, James. I
Speaker 1: I'm I I have a lot of respect for you.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you. I appreciate that you have a good
Speaker 3: rest of the nam and take care you two law.
Speaker 1: That was that was nice. That was a nice gentleman.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think if I have any post call
Speaker 1: thoughts on that. Uh yeah, that guy, that guy was cool.
Speaker 1: What did he say? He said what he said at
Speaker 1: the beginning to me, that was really nice that I'm
Speaker 1: trying not to. I don't have to understand everything. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what I'm I don't really
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing anymore. I don't really know. And
Speaker 1: I maybe that's I should shouldn't be so open about that,
Speaker 1: but I but I do. I wonder, I wonder sometimes,
Speaker 1: But I also whatever, it's fine. I'm gonna eventually close.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eventually close my laptop and I'm gonna go outside.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go for a walk and there'll be It'll
Speaker 1: be like I never was it ever? Anything? Is that crazy?
Speaker 1: Do I sound crazy? Right now? Let's keep going, Let's
Speaker 1: keep taking calls. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hey, do me a
Speaker 1: quick favor. Can you can you take me off of
Speaker 1: speakerphone and turn off your stream?
Speaker 4: You're not on speaker.
Speaker 5: But I'm at a concert right now. Is this level
Speaker 5: of volume like background noise acceptable?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: Why are you? Why are you calling me from a concert?
Speaker 4: Because I'm waiting to go on.
Speaker 5: It's a it's a like a classical music kind of concert.
Speaker 5: So we're just waiting around to go on.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Oh I see you're performing in this concert?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Wait a seton?
Speaker 2: Is this liles?
Speaker 5: Like for real?
Speaker 4: This isn't This isn't a screener?
Speaker 1: What do you do? What are you performing in the concert?
Speaker 5: Well, we're playing with a jazz clarinetta's named Duren Ketchens
Speaker 5: and we're playing uh House of the Rising Sun, What
Speaker 5: a Wonderful World on a couple other tunes, and I'm
Speaker 5: playing the bassoon.
Speaker 1: That's cool. M hmm, what are you excited? Wait? I
Speaker 1: have so cure? Why do you? Why are you calling me?
Speaker 1: This seems like something you'd want to like be in
Speaker 1: the moment of Like I feel like most people call
Speaker 1: me when they're like kind of bored, Like would you?
Speaker 1: Are you not? Would What made you want to call
Speaker 1: me in the middle of all this?
Speaker 5: I'm not doing much. Everyone really has their own friends.
Speaker 5: But I saw that you were taking calls. So I
Speaker 5: decided to take a chance, and I didn't think i'd
Speaker 5: get this far.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Well, how long have you been playing the
Speaker 1: bassoon for?
Speaker 4: Or about ten years? A little less than ten years?
Speaker 1: Oh geez, what are you in like school for that
Speaker 1: or what what are you doing?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I'm in college for it.
Speaker 1: Wow, you said every you said everyone has there for
Speaker 1: you don't have any friends in the in the in
Speaker 1: the thing that you're doing.
Speaker 5: I have some friends, but they have friends, so they're
Speaker 5: talking to their friends and I'm just sitting here waiting.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you beat Why don't you go be friends
Speaker 1: with your friends friends?
Speaker 5: I struggle to socialize. I'm working on it.
Speaker 1: Okay, a couple of.
Speaker 5: My my friends are actually in the audience.
Speaker 1: What the wind do you go on?
Speaker 5: Probably in like I don't know, five ish minutes, maybe
Speaker 5: maybe ten between five and son.
Speaker 1: What I'm cure? What is a basoon? What is a bassoon?
Speaker 5: It's a large woodwind instrument that uses a read It's
Speaker 5: like four feet tall. If you google it'll it'll come up.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you play the bassoon, you're about to go
Speaker 1: with your the opening for someone?
Speaker 4: Not really?
Speaker 5: I mean like there's two different bands in the college.
Speaker 5: So like the band I'm in went first, and now
Speaker 5: the other band's on, and then we're gonna combine the
Speaker 5: bands and play with the guest artist.
Speaker 1: Cool. How is college going?
Speaker 5: It's pretty good.
Speaker 4: It's better than last semester. Last semester was a little rough.
Speaker 1: Why is that?
Speaker 5: I was going through a lot of like outside issues
Speaker 5: and I was actually I was actually leaving a guy
Speaker 5: and had to like find an apartment and stuff. And
Speaker 5: I had him been to college before that in like
Speaker 5: three years, so it was a big adjustment and just
Speaker 5: like getting used to all that stuff.
Speaker 1: And how are you doing now? You say you're having
Speaker 1: trouble like socializing. Is that for like a preferred particular
Speaker 1: reason or are you just kind of trying to come into
Speaker 1: your own universe?
Speaker 4: I guess coming to my own.
Speaker 5: I have social anxiety, and I also feel very inferior
Speaker 5: to most of the people here because they're very talented
Speaker 5: and I don't feel as talented.
Speaker 1: Interesting you you feel inferior? You say, I think that.
Speaker 1: I do think that being like self confidence is necessary
Speaker 1: to be for social to kind of cure curb social anxiety,
Speaker 1: because not that you have to like think you're better
Speaker 1: than everyone else. But you just have to know that
Speaker 1: you're like a decent enough human being that other people's
Speaker 1: opinions of you don't matter, so you don't have to
Speaker 1: be afraid of them, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I've I've definitely struggled with that for a
Speaker 5: long time. And I'm at the point where, like I
Speaker 5: know that stuff cognitively, it's just about like believing it
Speaker 5: and like you know, acting on it. And it's just
Speaker 5: like a physical like change in my brain where I'm
Speaker 5: just like in fight or flight where I'm just like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, everyone hates me or whatever. And it's
Speaker 5: like a daily thing to just either give in or
Speaker 5: you know, like you said, just like realize, you know,
Speaker 5: I'm another ants on the ground and I've been recently
Speaker 5: you know, doing the latter and just like talking to
Speaker 5: people and uh, just finding I have to connect like
Speaker 5: the second of what I said, So like, you know,
Speaker 5: just you know, being among my fellow musicians.
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool, that's great. Yeah, you're in a scene. You're
Speaker 1: in a scene of people doing stuff. I'm I'm almost
Speaker 1: I almost feel bad talking to you right now because
Speaker 1: i feel like I'm keeping you from like actually socializing.
Speaker 1: Do you do do you do stuff like this a lot,
Speaker 1: like like go off into the corner and like go
Speaker 1: on your phone or stuff like that.
Speaker 5: I mean kind of I do. I do kind of
Speaker 5: like you know, dip my toe in, so like I'll uh,
Speaker 5: you know, stay in my little corner and then I'll
Speaker 5: like try to socialize someone and then like the conversation
Speaker 5: will in and I'll go back to my corners. And
Speaker 5: that sounds kind of a drab, But I would be
Speaker 5: just on my phone right now if I wasn't talking
Speaker 5: to you, And I'm really happy to be talking to you.
Speaker 5: I we actually talked, and I think twenty twenty two
Speaker 5: when you had Cucko as a gain.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, cool cool, So fuck eat fuck man? What
Speaker 1: what have you? What do you scroll on your phone
Speaker 1: when you're like like, when you're like, if you weren't
Speaker 1: talking to me, you'd be just in the corner scrolling
Speaker 1: on your phone. What would you be doing?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 5: Yeah, before I called you, I was on Instagram and
Speaker 5: that's how I saw that you were alive.
Speaker 4: So I was on.
Speaker 5: Instagram and I do a lot of sadoku, a lot
Speaker 5: of sadoku.
Speaker 4: I check my.
Speaker 5: Email and try to be productive.
Speaker 1: Okay, but you're like backstage at a concert, and there's like,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just very I'm very confused. Also, like
Speaker 1: where are you? Are you alone right now? Like where
Speaker 1: are you that you're talking to me?
Speaker 5: I'm in a room full of people, but they're they
Speaker 5: doing their own thing?
Speaker 1: Okay, can they hear us talk?
Speaker 5: I mean some of them can hear me. Most of
Speaker 5: them aren't paying attention. And I don't mind saying what
Speaker 5: I'm saying in front of the people who can hear it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. The bassoon, huh, what's so? Let me I'm
Speaker 1: gonna google what a bassoon looks like because I actually
Speaker 1: don't think I know. But soon, Oh that's a a Oh,
Speaker 1: it's got it's got the little it's like a fucking saxophone.
Speaker 1: Fucked uh a clarinet and had a little baby. Yes,
Speaker 1: well look at this love that Look at this little
Speaker 1: it's like a little straw connected to a clarinet. That's crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's called the vocal.
Speaker 1: The vocal and you play that, you've you've played that
Speaker 1: shit for ten years.
Speaker 4: Just about.
Speaker 5: Like I said, I had to take a three year break,
Speaker 5: but otherwise I've been playing it.
Speaker 1: Oh are you still there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you hear me, Oh yeah, I can
Speaker 5: hear you.
Speaker 1: Okay, So what's your how old are you?
Speaker 5: I am twenty four.
Speaker 1: And what's your dream? Or use your dream? To become
Speaker 1: like a SoundCloud bassoon player?
Speaker 5: I mean maybe there is jazz perposu. I honestly, I
Speaker 5: have no idea at this point. I'm trying to just
Speaker 5: keep it more in the day and more in the
Speaker 5: short term, just like I want a degree. Want to
Speaker 5: get a degree, and then I'll go from there. I
Speaker 5: like to teach music and talk about music, but I don't.
Speaker 5: I lost a lot of confidence with that and I
Speaker 5: find I'm better one on one anyway. So that's what
Speaker 5: I'm doing for now. I'm just doing lessons.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I just really love music and and like a general
Speaker 5: dream would be to just like have a nice house
Speaker 5: somewhere like in that kind of woodsy but not too woodsy,
Speaker 5: and just you know, be financially stable.
Speaker 1: Cool. The bassoon huh hm hmmm, yeah, theon. Do you
Speaker 1: play other instruments? What other instruments do you play?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Actually my first instrument was the flute, and I
Speaker 5: played that for a long time. I can play the flute,
Speaker 5: the clarinet, the saxophone, the bassoon, the phonium or the
Speaker 5: tuba and the piano.
Speaker 1: That's so many things. You're like a one A one
Speaker 1: lady band.
Speaker 5: Yes, Yeah, when's your album? We'll see. I'm I'm better
Speaker 5: at like playing music than creating it. I mean I
Speaker 5: have like mad like one song, but I lost it
Speaker 5: because it was for an assignment and I can't access it,
Speaker 5: so I'd have to recreate it.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, if I'm about to say something was really dumb,
Speaker 1: I already k listen. I can. I kind of understand
Speaker 1: the answer to the question I was about to ask,
Speaker 1: But like, what really is the difference between playing music
Speaker 1: and creating it?
Speaker 5: Well, with playing music, you don't have to worry about
Speaker 5: creating it like someone else already made it, so you
Speaker 5: can just like play what's on the page without having
Speaker 5: to worry about like making stuff up by yourself. And
Speaker 5: then creating music is like the opposite, where you don't
Speaker 5: have to worry about being able to play whatever you're writing.
Speaker 5: You can just write the craziest shit and worry about
Speaker 5: someone else playing it.
Speaker 1: But so you never just sit down on that piano
Speaker 1: when you're just like jamming out, making fucking noises and
Speaker 1: sounds until something sounds like something you like hearing.
Speaker 5: You never do that, really, no, although I have some
Speaker 5: jazz background, so I'm able to kind of improvise, but no,
Speaker 5: but there are people.
Speaker 1: Who do that.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: That's so interesting because I have like crazy ADHD and
Speaker 1: I'm like, if I were to, if I if I
Speaker 1: were any good at any musical instrument, I would just
Speaker 1: sit down and fucking just start hitting buttons until something
Speaker 1: did did some you know?
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well I suggest the piano because you don't have
Speaker 5: to worry about producing it sounds like you would on
Speaker 5: the trumpet or something like.
Speaker 4: You just press the key and you kind of just.
Speaker 5: Fuck around and do whatever you want until something sounds good.
Speaker 5: Like you said, so that might be up your alley,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 1: Uh hm hmm. What So you said you left a
Speaker 1: guy to uh come to college.
Speaker 4: You don't want to play the piano?
Speaker 3: Huh what?
Speaker 1: What? What do you mean?
Speaker 4: You changed the topic.
Speaker 5: It's okay, It's like I'm just busting your balls.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, I was in a pretty long relationship that
Speaker 5: wasn't very great, and I had to gather my resources
Speaker 5: to leave, so I did that and it took a
Speaker 5: long time, and then part of that was getting back
Speaker 5: into college.
Speaker 3: That's what I cool.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Are you Are you going on dates and
Speaker 1: stuff now or are you with to wish someone new?
Speaker 1: It's uh, what's up?
Speaker 5: Not really no, like I said in More and one
Speaker 5: on one. So like you know, there's someone I'm you know,
Speaker 5: associating with, but cool. Yeah, yeah, And I'm fine with
Speaker 5: that because I've had enough, Like after what I've been through,
Speaker 5: I've had enough.
Speaker 1: We love some red hot association. That's very nice.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, No, connections are great.
Speaker 1: Uh well, I just I still feel bad that I'm
Speaker 1: talking to you because you're in a room full of
Speaker 1: other people that you could talk to. You see your friends.
Speaker 1: You your friend is talking to their friend, but you've
Speaker 1: drawn a line in the same and that your friend's
Speaker 1: friend is not your friend. Why have you? Why have
Speaker 1: you drawn that line?
Speaker 4: Well, I mean for two things.
Speaker 5: I'm when there's a practical like you know, three to crowd,
Speaker 5: and like I.
Speaker 4: I don't know this person, so I don't.
Speaker 5: Know like what I could talk about or bring up
Speaker 5: with them, So it's just like pretty impractical. I ended
Speaker 5: up just I end up just like listening most of
Speaker 5: the time.
Speaker 4: And there's also I forgot.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's just like insecurity of like they don't
Speaker 5: like me, and even if I don't know if they
Speaker 5: like me for sure, I'm just gonna assume they don't
Speaker 5: like me, and you stay away.
Speaker 1: Why can I can I get? Can I go? Can
Speaker 1: I get a little crazy with you for a second?
Speaker 1: Can I go? Can I go a little crazy? Can
Speaker 1: I get? Can I get on my fucking can I get?
Speaker 1: Can I get on my ship with you? Right now?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: Please?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 2: Do? Can I be?
Speaker 1: Can I be a little bit of a crazy man?
Speaker 5: Already?
Speaker 1: Uh? Why do you? Why? Why do you? Why do
Speaker 1: you want? Don't you just assume that you're fine and
Speaker 1: that everything's fine, and just assume that as long as
Speaker 1: you approach these people with positive intent, that they will
Speaker 1: approach you with positive intent, or even if they're dicks,
Speaker 1: it's like who cares, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well that's what I'm working on now. And yeah,
Speaker 5: I think it's more just about like managing my reactions
Speaker 5: to when things get awkward, you know, and just not
Speaker 5: beating myself up too much about it, because like I
Speaker 5: just get really embarrassed, like when things don't go well socially,
Speaker 5: and I'm just like, oh, I should never have opened
Speaker 5: my mouth to that kind of thing. But you know,
Speaker 5: that's something I got to get over because the alternative
Speaker 5: is just like isolation.
Speaker 1: Yea, last night, I was walking around Brooklyn at night.
Speaker 1: I was on my way home from like I went
Speaker 1: to a friend's house, and there was a bunch of
Speaker 1: people standing outside. Hold On, I after sneeze. Waitah, fuck, there's
Speaker 1: a whole lot. Hold on, I have to sneeze again.
Speaker 1: God damn it. I was gonna tell the story and
Speaker 1: I was about I had it out, the whole thing
Speaker 1: in my head, and I'm gonna sneeze. All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're keeping this, We're keeping this all in. We can't
Speaker 1: cut this out. There's a there's like a there's like
Speaker 1: a fourth of a sneeze that's still come into me.
Speaker 5: All right, fuck this Fuck okay, I probably have to
Speaker 5: go soon.
Speaker 1: Okay. I was walking through Brooklyn and there were there
Speaker 1: were all these people standing outside of what looked like
Speaker 1: like an art gallery. And I was like, what all
Speaker 1: these people standing outside of an art gallery? Four and
Speaker 1: uh because it's like ten pm and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: what is there an event going on, and they were like,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, there's like a gallery, there's like an event.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh cool, can I come in because
Speaker 1: I wanted to know what was going on? And they
Speaker 1: were like, they were like, uh no, we're kind of
Speaker 1: winding down. It's kind of like a private thing. And
Speaker 1: I was like, that's cool. How's your guys' night going?
Speaker 1: And they and I could just tell they didn't want
Speaker 1: I could tell they didn't want to they didn't want
Speaker 1: to talk to me, and so I do. And not
Speaker 1: by the way, when they could tell that someone doesn't
Speaker 1: want to talk to me on media, I'm pretty I
Speaker 1: can just be like, all right, that's cool. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna leave. But I left, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: that was like, on paper, embarrassing, but I wasn't embarrassed
Speaker 1: by it at all, because look, here's the thing. In
Speaker 1: another universe. I go up to a group of people
Speaker 1: standing outside of an art gallery and I'm like, what's
Speaker 1: going on? And they're like, hey, man, we'rever the party
Speaker 1: fucking come on in. Life's great. What's your name? How
Speaker 1: you doing? How's life?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But but but but if I don't become the kind
Speaker 1: of person and take confidence in being the kind of
Speaker 1: person that at the very least puts himself out there
Speaker 1: for interactions like that to happen. If I don't become
Speaker 1: a person that does that because I'm afraid of how
Speaker 1: people might react, you know, I I I close myself
Speaker 1: off to uh social connections and adventures that I would
Speaker 1: have had had otherwise had I been more more brave.
Speaker 1: And so I don't really mind if that particular instance
Speaker 1: I didn't work out. I'm not embarrassed by that. I'm
Speaker 1: not ashamed of that. I'm quite the opposite. I'm actually
Speaker 1: happy with myself that I that I, uh put myself
Speaker 1: out there and in that regard, and so I I
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope you. I hope you understood I
Speaker 1: guess what I just said and that it uh.
Speaker 5: Made just real quick because I do understand you got
Speaker 5: to go.
Speaker 4: Literally myself like a minute or so.
Speaker 5: But like, uh, I agree, And I'm actually more likely
Speaker 5: to talk to strangers like while I'm out and about,
Speaker 5: Like it's I think it's just the pressure of like,
Speaker 5: you know, that people know me. So like when I
Speaker 5: can talk to strangers and I actually talk to stranger
Speaker 5: strangers when I'm like on the train and stuff and
Speaker 5: to make conversation and I like it and it's fun
Speaker 5: and like you said, like the opposite like outcome could
Speaker 5: happen where like they welcome you in and shit. And
Speaker 5: I've had that kind of stuff happen to me, like
Speaker 5: especially since running away, and it's like been really cool
Speaker 5: and like I can actually live and I've you know,
Speaker 5: I've learned that like people aren't actually that bad like strangers.
Speaker 5: You know, they're mostly like you and me. It's just
Speaker 5: that gamble of like are they a murderer or not?
Speaker 5: But other than that, like people are fine to talk to.
Speaker 5: I've made like plenty of friends that are strangers and
Speaker 5: I love it. And I think it's really just like
Speaker 5: the pressure of like.
Speaker 4: Maintaining a rapport with people.
Speaker 5: That's when the social anxiety comes in.
Speaker 1: Well, what's your name again, Joe Anne? Joanne? I know
Speaker 1: you got some basoons to play, so I'm gonna let
Speaker 1: you go. Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: A couple of things. Well, first, I want to say
Speaker 5: completely platonically and because of how like great you've had it,
Speaker 5: like the impact you've had on people and myself like
Speaker 5: I love you like, thank you how much?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and also try to lay off the weed.
Speaker 5: It's it's better if you do.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go smoke weed right fucking now, just because
Speaker 1: you said that.
Speaker 4: When you're ready, you're ready, you'll you'll.
Speaker 1: Give it up, all right, Thank you very much, Joanna.
Speaker 1: I have a good night.
Speaker 5: It's so bye bye bye bye.
Speaker 1: Listen, man, here's the thing. I don't play the bassoon
Speaker 1: or any other woodwind instrument, so I can get high
Speaker 1: all I want and it won't impact my life at all,
Speaker 1: except for the fact that it is destroying my brain
Speaker 1: and my giving me a lot of anxiety and memory
Speaker 1: loss and making me eat four thousand calories a day.
Speaker 1: But other than that, it's totally fine. Hello.
Speaker 3: What's going on? Man?
Speaker 1: Hi there, sir? What is your name? My name is Antonio, Antonio.
Speaker 1: What's going on? How can I get you today?
Speaker 2: Sir?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: You know, just uh, We're gonna say the usual kind
Speaker 2: of bullshit, you know, a long time listener, first time caller. Uh? Yeah, man,
Speaker 2: just want to chime in about life. Just see what's
Speaker 2: you know, get a little bit of a get advice
Speaker 2: if possible.
Speaker 1: You want to chime in about life. Well, go ahead,
Speaker 1: Surfloor's years.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Well, uh shit, I mean, what do I ever begin
Speaker 2: to be honest?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm a bartender, been in the service industry for
Speaker 2: about like ten eleven years right now, and I'm trying
Speaker 2: to break out of the industry, but I'm kind of
Speaker 2: stuck within this stupid little self deprecating cycle of mine,
Speaker 2: which is a hello, annoying to say the least.
Speaker 1: Tell us more.
Speaker 2: Well, Uh, you know, I've been, like I said, been
Speaker 2: doing this about like ten eleven years now right now.
Speaker 2: Work in a hotel, like a bar hotel, like really
Speaker 2: like the heart of uh Chicago. I live in Chicago.
Speaker 2: Uh it's cool enough, but uh, ever since COVID, like
Speaker 2: the service industry has just been like fucking garbage. It's
Speaker 2: just a bunch of like good people left and a
Speaker 2: bunch of new people took over, and nobody knows what
Speaker 2: they're doing, and they're just hiring a bunch of green
Speaker 2: ass people that don't know what they're doing neither. And
Speaker 2: it's just a fucking best And I'm trying to get out,
Speaker 2: man Like, it's like it's weird. Uh, It's it's cool
Speaker 2: because if you know, I keep a roof over over
Speaker 2: my head. You know, I take care of my son
Speaker 2: and shit like that, but it sucks so like I'm
Speaker 2: trying to break in a voice of a work of
Speaker 2: voice acting. But uh, it's just hard to like find
Speaker 2: like the motivation and like the focus, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. I can deal with a bunch of drunken
Speaker 2: assholes not stop all day.
Speaker 1: How old are you? I'm thirty four, thirty four, And
Speaker 1: how old are your son?
Speaker 2: Actually he's going to be turning eleven September twenty seventh.
Speaker 1: Oh very cool. Are you just you supporting him or
Speaker 1: do you have a partner of some kinds?
Speaker 2: Well, his mother, you know him and his mother. They
Speaker 2: live in Michigan. So I get him every other weekend.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to get him this weekend, but she
Speaker 2: had complications with her car. So I'm like, all right, man,
Speaker 2: it's it's whatever, you know.
Speaker 1: So she's in Michigan. Where are you.
Speaker 3: I'm in Chicago?
Speaker 1: Okay, oh my god, Oh don't make me do this.
Speaker 1: All right, hold on, I'm in front of a computer. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're doing that much a fucking idiot, I am.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I feel like those are dude. For a second,
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, Chicago's in Michigan, right, And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, okay, all right, all right, okay, yes
Speaker 1: these are these are two places that are close by
Speaker 1: to each other. I'm a fucking all right anyway anyway, okay,
Speaker 1: So hmmm, so you've been in service industry for eleven
Speaker 1: years trying to break out to do voice acting. I
Speaker 1: mean this sounds like it's a financial quoting, you know,
Speaker 1: because everything gets a little bit harder when you got
Speaker 1: like a kid to support, you know, are you are you?
Speaker 1: Are you out here?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Are you out here? Like how do I make enough
Speaker 1: money off of my succulent wind pipes to uh to
Speaker 1: support my son and eat food and ship?
Speaker 2: Never got that before, but I like that circular windpipe
Speaker 2: all right. Now it's more so just like I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is to be honest, man, because like
Speaker 2: how can I how can I put it? Like like
Speaker 2: I'm good, you know what I mean? And like, uh,
Speaker 2: I just uh moved to my own spot. I got
Speaker 2: out of like a super toxic relationship that I was
Speaker 2: in for like fucking like six seven years. COVID prolonged that, unfortunately,
Speaker 2: because everything shut down but finally got out, I got
Speaker 2: all my shit together within like a month or two,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, and to spend a pretty penny.
Speaker 2: But I'm definitely more content, more peaceful now, you know.
Speaker 2: My whole thing was like all right, like maybe now
Speaker 2: that I'm alone that I'm like doing my own thing,
Speaker 2: I can like focus on what I got to do.
Speaker 2: But then by the time, you know, and to deal
Speaker 2: with the little silly ass shenanigans at work and all
Speaker 2: the other shit, by the time I finally get home,
Speaker 2: it's like I'm like depleted. And then what I mean
Speaker 2: by like self deprecating cycle, it's like I'll.
Speaker 3: Be home or I'll be off like today, and it's
Speaker 3: like all right, let me, you know, put away everything,
Speaker 3: like turn.
Speaker 2: My phone on. We focused and like do what I
Speaker 2: gotta do. But there's like no like push or drive,
Speaker 2: which in return upsets me a little bit because it's like, dude,
Speaker 2: why you got to be like that? And then it's
Speaker 2: like I'm even more pissed on myself because I'm kind
Speaker 2: of like felf reflecting at the same time and like
Speaker 2: noticing it from like a outer perspective, which in result
Speaker 2: pisses me off even more because it's like, my guy,
Speaker 2: why you got to do this to yourself? Like I'm
Speaker 2: pretty hard on myself. So it's just like a constant,
Speaker 2: fucking like loop.
Speaker 3: And it's like, so if I.
Speaker 1: Were, if I were to summarize everything you just said
Speaker 1: in five words, it's why can't I lock in? There?
Speaker 3: Yeah? You know, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1: Why can't you're trying to lock in? So you were
Speaker 1: all right, so you were in the bad relationship and
Speaker 1: you got out of it and you got your own place,
Speaker 1: and then you were like all right, uh now and
Speaker 1: then and then you were like, all right, now that
Speaker 1: I'm alone, now that I don't have I'm not wayed
Speaker 1: down by this this thing, I can lock in right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cool, by the way, I experience this
Speaker 1: all the time. I experienced this all the time where
Speaker 1: it's like you have some kind of I don't know
Speaker 1: what that noise was, where you have some kind of
Speaker 1: like thing externally in your life that you get to
Speaker 1: point at and you get to go, well, okay, I
Speaker 1: would lock in, but I got this external thing, and
Speaker 1: I can just delay my locking in until this external
Speaker 1: thing is gone, and then what happens with that fail
Speaker 1: every time. Maybe not every time. Actually, I'll give it
Speaker 1: to some external things. Some external things can genuinely be
Speaker 1: blocks to locking in. A lot of them can. But
Speaker 1: but it's like you, I don't know where the line
Speaker 1: is between it being a genuine block and it being
Speaker 1: kind of a scapegoat, because I don't know. For me,
Speaker 1: it's like anytime, anytime I do have that time, I'm
Speaker 1: still faced with the same problems of that are preventing
Speaker 1: me from locking in, that that are not cured by
Speaker 1: the removal of external thing. I don't have any of
Speaker 1: what I just said made any sense. But what are
Speaker 1: you trying to lock in? What do you what are
Speaker 1: you trying to lock in to do?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Like what does locking in mean?
Speaker 2: At least for me, just locking in it's just like
Speaker 2: you know, just getting out of my own fucking dumb
Speaker 2: ass edn't mind it, Just like yo, like stop like procrastinating,
Speaker 2: stop like.
Speaker 3: You know, like letting all this other like just strength.
Speaker 2: And anxiety of like the world and being a father
Speaker 2: and doing this and doing that, like way the fuck down,
Speaker 2: Like stop bugging out. If it's like do what you
Speaker 2: gotta do, because like I'm kind of at the point
Speaker 2: in my life, you know what I'm saying with like
Speaker 2: I'm over like just servicing people and working for people
Speaker 2: who fucking suck, you know what I mean. And that's
Speaker 2: like the one thing that like I really don't want
Speaker 2: to do because you know, like I was saying, like
Speaker 2: COVID kind of screwed up the service industry like in
Speaker 2: a home, you know, like it completely fucked it up.
Speaker 2: You know, my cop I've worked with him like in
Speaker 2: other places and mind you, like I've worked in like
Speaker 2: michilin Star places I've worked in like little hole.
Speaker 3: In the walls that like nobody gives a shit about.
Speaker 2: And I got it. I got my cousin the job
Speaker 2: or where I'm at, and they did him.
Speaker 3: Super bogus, and uh you know that same year.
Speaker 2: It's like probably two years ago because I've been at
Speaker 2: the same place for like seven years now. Like two
Speaker 2: years ago when like I got him in where I'm
Speaker 2: at and like they did a bogus. He hopped around
Speaker 2: like literally like seven or eight different like bars and restaurants.
Speaker 2: It was the same thing, like hey man, like come
Speaker 2: through like it's felt the money's good. Then like a
Speaker 2: month or two later, hop management sucks. They fucked me over.
Speaker 2: I'm at this new place. Come here another month later,
Speaker 2: they fucked up my hours. I'm at this other place.
Speaker 2: So it's like I don't want to have to hop
Speaker 2: from like bar to bar, dop a job to bank
Speaker 2: and be to make a living type ship, you know.
Speaker 2: So like my whole thing is like, is if I
Speaker 2: can get this voice acting like voiceover works like off
Speaker 2: the ground, like I want that to be kind of
Speaker 2: like more like of my main like source of income
Speaker 2: because in that case, like I can work wherever and
Speaker 2: it wouldn't have to bother me that much, but also
Speaker 2: hopefully give me a little bit more free time on
Speaker 2: my hand, so I can spend some more time with
Speaker 2: my ship. Because I got a flight and I got
Speaker 2: all that other stuff. I just take that forever.
Speaker 1: Sure. Well, here's the thing. I have no idea how
Speaker 1: one goes about pursuing a career in voiceover work. If
Speaker 1: I were you, I would reach out to people who
Speaker 1: have careers and voiceover work, and uh I would I
Speaker 1: would see, you know, with their with their advice. Is
Speaker 1: but you're talking you're talking about you're talking about trying
Speaker 1: to start a business to replace your job. The upstart
Speaker 1: of doing that, unfortunately, is gonna be like crazy, you know,
Speaker 1: because the amount of the amount of hours are gonna
Speaker 1: put into that is a lot. I don't think you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do it. I think it's worth it to do it.
Speaker 1: But I mean, if that's what I would do, and
Speaker 1: I would go find people who actually are doing this
Speaker 1: for a living and see what their advice is. I mean,
Speaker 1: you gotta make tiktoks and Instagrams, and you gotta make tiktoks,
Speaker 1: you gotta make instagrams, you gotta make YouTube videos.
Speaker 2: People. I've had people tell me that shit like a lot,
Speaker 2: and like because where I work at like it's like
Speaker 2: I work like at the heart of downtown, so like
Speaker 2: I beat tons of people and like I met famous
Speaker 2: people and stuff. I'm taking care of them. Like I
Speaker 2: got to be Thundercat. He was cool as shit, earl sweatshirt.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've see Tokyo Drift, but the
Speaker 2: bad dudes from Tokyo Drift, Drift King, I got to take.
Speaker 3: Care of him and his wife. They were super nice.
Speaker 1: By the way, you met the Drift King. Actually I
Speaker 1: don't know who that is, but he just sounds cool.
Speaker 1: Go ahead and and what did all these people tell you?
Speaker 3: Well, the same thing, Like yo, just like do it?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Like I've met this one guy from UH to some
Speaker 3: you know, random white dude.
Speaker 2: He told me that he did marketing advertisement for Mercedes
Speaker 2: for about like thirty years, like he was retired. And
Speaker 2: I told him how during COVID, I was on this
Speaker 2: site called voices dot com. It's like a LinkedIn for
Speaker 2: voiceover artists, but like how it was like a Hello weird.
Speaker 2: The structure was, it's like a five hundred dollars annual feed.
Speaker 2: You get paid every Friday if you do gigs, but
Speaker 2: they take a twenty percent platform feed. And you know,
Speaker 2: I get emailed all these jobs, but some of them
Speaker 2: wouldn't even pertain to like be specifically because it's like,
Speaker 2: be real, I don't think you want to hear this
Speaker 2: type of voice of like a Gerberg commercial or anything
Speaker 2: like that, you know what I mean. And he's he's like, yo,
Speaker 2: like that's cool now, but what you need to do
Speaker 2: get you make yourself a demo reel and find yourself
Speaker 2: an agency to represent you. That way they can do
Speaker 2: all the grub works for you. He's like, yeah, you'll
Speaker 2: still have to break them off some money, like you know,
Speaker 2: because obviously like they need their cut, but they can
Speaker 2: find things specifically tailored for your voice and that you
Speaker 2: build a portfolio and a repertoire widow so they can
Speaker 2: recommend you to other things and other avenues that's more
Speaker 2: tailored for you and the way that you stun So
Speaker 2: I do got a real like that I got to
Speaker 2: fix up and everything. But a lot of the agencies
Speaker 2: that I looked at they want headshots along with like
Speaker 2: the demo reel, and I mean a lot of the
Speaker 2: other players I've looked at headshots are at least like
Speaker 2: four hundred dollars like this.
Speaker 3: For a couple of photos and stuff.
Speaker 2: So I think it's more so just kind of like
Speaker 2: preparing my pockets for this amount of money out by
Speaker 2: the drop on everything, you know. But it's still just
Speaker 2: like a weird mental block. It's like, yo, like why
Speaker 2: why I gotta be stupid? Why can't what's the deal?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Let's see someone. I try
Speaker 1: not to look at the chat while I'm on the calls,
Speaker 1: but someone said, ghek, you got to tell this guy
Speaker 1: about people who do spicy audio on OnlyFans.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my ex recommended that to me. She's like, dude,
Speaker 2: you don't even gotta show your face or like show anything,
Speaker 2: just fucking talk and say something like people would eat
Speaker 2: that up.
Speaker 1: Listen, Man, I don't know if I have any better
Speaker 1: random white guy advice than than the other guy. You
Speaker 1: just gotta do ship, you know, you just gotta just
Speaker 1: kinda I I I hate saying into a microphone. I
Speaker 1: hate giving advice, but this is the only thing I
Speaker 1: can think of. Is you just gotta you gotta do
Speaker 1: sh it. Man. There's no I'm not a master of
Speaker 1: I mean, it's adderall. It's cool if you have trouble focusing,
Speaker 1: but yeah, just you gotta fucking do things. There's no
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any kind of a secret sauce
Speaker 1: to it. Uh you know, I mean, I'll say this,
Speaker 1: this is, this is, this is, this will be my
Speaker 1: official word to you, good sir.
Speaker 2: Is.
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a universe of agents in a backstage and
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, and there's things you can
Speaker 1: apply for and all that stuff. But to me, and
Speaker 1: I'm just speaking because this is how I was able
Speaker 1: to do anything with myself is you gotta make tiktoks
Speaker 1: and Instagrams and you know, build your own social media
Speaker 1: YouTube universe for yourself, you know, because knocking knocking on
Speaker 1: doors is one thing, but I think you got to
Speaker 1: kind of create your own things so that people are
Speaker 1: knocking on your doors. And as far as how to
Speaker 1: get over procrastination to lock in to do it, I mean,
Speaker 1: I got really lucky. My My period of time of
Speaker 1: locking in was right when the pandemic started, which was
Speaker 1: the perfect time to lock in because I didn't have
Speaker 1: any fomo. You know, There's many times I tried to
Speaker 1: lock in before that where I was like, eh, i'm
Speaker 1: too I'm distracted by all there is to other other
Speaker 1: things that are already do in the universe. But I
Speaker 1: got lucky because that was I experienced it as we
Speaker 1: all did. You know, we experienced a unique period of
Speaker 1: time where uh there was literally nothing else to fucking
Speaker 1: do except except to lock in. So my advice to
Speaker 1: you is to unleash a global virus onto the universe
Speaker 1: so that uh literally nothing can distract you. That's what
Speaker 1: That's what I would say.
Speaker 2: I get that, man, And yet like, yeah, I know,
Speaker 2: it's all just internal, man, Like I gotta fucking just
Speaker 2: get out of my own head about it, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. But yeah, like you said, like I bad,
Speaker 2: other people say the same thing, like bro, just make
Speaker 2: it TikTok, make it big and just put your shit
Speaker 2: out there, you know what I mean. But it's all
Speaker 2: just like internally that like is just blowing me. I
Speaker 2: guess you could say, which You're just like, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: just got to get over my own head, of my
Speaker 2: own thoughts.
Speaker 1: What's your name again, sir? And does Antonio? Yes, I
Speaker 1: totally sick. I'm remembering lots of people's names today, Antonio.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Uh, it's a beautiful day, man, enjoy yourselves, love one another,
Speaker 2: and uh should keep keep on trucking.
Speaker 1: But they have a good night, sir, You too.
Speaker 2: My dude.
Speaker 1: Like guy he I mean, he has got a good voice.
Speaker 1: He's got a good voice. How to do voice actor work?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know how to do anything.
Speaker 1: That's the thing about advice. Advice is very specific. I
Speaker 1: only know how to do things that I can do,
Speaker 1: and I'm not good at locking in I'm really not
Speaker 1: uh this. All of what I've built as a Gecko
Speaker 1: has been as a result of like I yeah, I
Speaker 1: got a pandemic and it's it was a it was
Speaker 1: a kind of unique distraction free time. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: As you get older, life gets more there's less time
Speaker 1: to do stuff, especially if you have a kid. But
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think Antonio will find a stride.
Speaker 1: He's just he's he's got a good vibe to him,
Speaker 1: which is helpful. So I hope, I hope he becomes
Speaker 1: the next uh Tara Strong and he voices, he voices
Speaker 1: Timmy Turner. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end
Speaker 1: of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus
Speaker 1: episode this week that's right at an entire extra hour
Speaker 1: of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming
Speaker 1: a Premium member of Therapy Gecko over at Therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes,
Speaker 1: they get a completely ad free podcast feed of the
Speaker 1: regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members
Speaker 1: only streams, and they help support my ability to continue
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's
Speaker 1: members only bonus episode. The Spider Man movies have a
Speaker 1: very noble philosophy behind them. Flash Thompson, he's like an
Speaker 1: asshole to Peter Parker. The whole movie beats be punches
Speaker 1: him the face, beats him up for no reason. And
Speaker 1: then Peter Parker gets bit by the radioactive Spider and
Speaker 1: so he gets into a fight with Flash and like
Speaker 1: fucks with him. Fucking Uncle Ben comes into school and
Speaker 1: he's like, were you humiliating that poor kid? And Peter goes,
Speaker 1: I was, but he deserved it. What does Uncle Ben say?
Speaker 1: It says it doesn't matter if he deserves it. Peter,
Speaker 1: you gotta be the bigger man, because with great power
Speaker 1: comes great responsibility. I was watching this and I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: that's some noble ethics from the Spider Man movies. The
Speaker 1: world could use that. If you want to hear this
Speaker 1: full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium
Speaker 1: member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find
Speaker 1: the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot
Speaker 1: supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say.
Speaker 3: Therapy An goes on the line taking your phone calls.
Speaker 1: Every nine, They can goes to what he's teaching you
Speaker 1: aloud in the memory of life.
Speaker 3: Money's not ready, an expert