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Speaker 1: So if you want to live a fulfilled life, part

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Speaker 1: of that is wrestling with the hard questions in life,

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Speaker 1: like what is your purpose? And if that feels too

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Speaker 1: big right now, no problem, thin slice it, like, what's

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Speaker 1: your purpose today? What's your purpose this week?

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily a body here bringing you episode one

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Speaker 2: fifty one of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I

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Speaker 2: sit down with inspiring individuals to talk about their big ones,

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Speaker 2: tough moments, and everything in between. On the show, you

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Speaker 2: can expect vulnerability, motivation, and candid discussions with everyone from

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Speaker 2: top athletes and CEOs to aspiring entrepreneurs on what it

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Speaker 2: really takes to follow your passions. My mission is simple

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Speaker 2: to inspire you to be your best self, move with intention,

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Speaker 2: and have some fun along the way. Today on the show,

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Speaker 2: for episode one fifty one, I am chatting with performance

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Speaker 2: psychologist doctor Michael Gervai now GERVEI. If you have not

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Speaker 2: heard his name before, I would be maybe a little surprised.

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Speaker 2: He has worked with some of the biggest names in sports,

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Speaker 2: top athletes, actors, actresses to help them learn how to

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Speaker 2: navigate their mind. I've seen him speak so many times.

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Speaker 2: I'm a huge fan of his podcast called Finding Mastery,

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Speaker 2: and it was really fun for today's episode to get

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Speaker 2: some insight into the man that helps everyone else perform better.

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Speaker 2: Doctor Gerva talks to me about his upbringing and how

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Speaker 2: surfing actually was what led him into getting more interested

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Speaker 2: in the mind. He talks to me about the battles

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Speaker 2: that he had with his own education, being pretty unenthusiastic

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Speaker 2: about the whole thing in high school, just wanting to

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Speaker 2: go out, wanting to surf, and it wasn't until college

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Speaker 2: when he was starting to learn about the subject areas

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Speaker 2: that he was truly invested in that he was ready

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Speaker 2: to grab the reins and take advantage of his own learning.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, so many interesting topics. We talk about

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Speaker 2: how to define your purpose, We talk about how to

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Speaker 2: articulate your personal philosophy, how to handle these hurdles, and

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Speaker 2: why these hurdles, these difficult moments in our lives, will

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Speaker 2: be a good thing in the long term. And we

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Speaker 2: also talk about the importance, especially right now after the

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Speaker 2: year we've had, of having some grace with yourself and

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Speaker 2: understanding that yes, times are hard right now, but we

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Speaker 2: can do hard things if we train the mind and

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Speaker 2: develop a little bit of resiliency. Seriously, this conversation it

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Speaker 2: blew my mind. I was literally staring out of my

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Speaker 2: apartment window for twenty to thirty minutes, just like absorbing

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Speaker 2: after we were done recording. So I highly encourage you

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Speaker 2: while you are listening to this, if you can have

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Speaker 2: a notepad nearby, open your iPhone note app, take down

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Speaker 2: some of this information because it has really been helping

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Speaker 2: me ever since we recorded, and I know it's really

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Speaker 2: going to give you some necessary inspiration as well. Also,

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Speaker 2: I'm so amped about this. Doctor Gervai and his team

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Speaker 2: are super kind. We are partnering on a giveaway which

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Speaker 2: we'll go live on the Hurdle Instagram of the day.

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Speaker 2: This gets released on March fifteenth, twenty twenty one. He

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Speaker 2: is giving two lucky listeners a spot in his Finding

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Speaker 2: Your Best course. So think of this course as a

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Speaker 2: masterclass for training your mind. He created the course with

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Speaker 2: NFL head coach Pete Carroll and in it you'll learn

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Speaker 2: how to craft your own personal philosophy, set a vision,

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Speaker 2: and how to train your mind to be more confident, optimistic,

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Speaker 2: calm and mindful. So again, head on over to the

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Speaker 2: Hurdle Instagram that's at Hurdle Podcasts for more details on that.

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Speaker 2: Such an awesome, awesome giveaway here, Before we get into it,

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Speaker 3: Do your best thinking again.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you are following Hurdle over at Hurdle podcast

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Speaker 2: on Instagram. I am over at Emilyabody and if you

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Speaker 2: haven't done so yet, this would just mean the world

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Speaker 2: to me. I'm cusping two thousand newsletter subscribers.

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Speaker 3: And I want you to be one of them.

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Speaker 2: So click on over to the show notes, click on

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Speaker 2: in to subscribe to the weekly Hurdle and let me

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Speaker 2: just pop into your inbox every Friday with a little

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Speaker 2: bit of inspiration. With that, let's get to hurdling.

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Speaker 3: Today.

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Speaker 2: I am sitting down with doctor Michael Jervai. He is

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Speaker 2: a high performance psychologist and also the host of the

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Speaker 2: Finding Mastery podcast. How are you doing today?

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Speaker 1: Fantastic? Thank you for including me in your community in

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Speaker 1: this conversation.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited to do it.

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Speaker 2: As a fitness and health journalist for years now, some

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Speaker 2: of my favorite writing to do has involved interviewing performance psychologists.

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Speaker 2: So selfishly, I am geeked out about the opportunity to

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Speaker 2: chat with you here today, but I also know just

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Speaker 2: the wealth of knowledge you're going to bring to the

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Speaker 2: hurdle community is something.

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Speaker 3: Really special cool, Thank you for sure.

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Speaker 2: So I don't think that being a performance psychologist is

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Speaker 2: probably one of those careers that as a young boy,

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Speaker 2: you're like, you know what I'm going to do when

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Speaker 2: I grow up, I'm going to be a performance a psychologist. So,

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Speaker 2: as I always like to do on the show, kick

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Speaker 2: me off with talking to me a little bit about

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Speaker 2: your upbringing.

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Speaker 1: When I was young, there was no such industry as

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Speaker 1: sport and performance psychology. So I grew up for the

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Speaker 1: first handful of years in a remote town in Virginia,

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Speaker 1: no street lights, dirt roads, Gravel was a luxury on

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Speaker 1: the roads. And so we're way back. My parents kind

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Speaker 1: of dropped out, if you will, and wanted to build

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Speaker 1: their family on a farm. And this was not a

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Speaker 1: luxury farm. This is like running water was the luxury,

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Speaker 1: and so at a young age, like the things that

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about is I had to be home

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Speaker 1: by dark because Mother Nature was a whole different animal

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Speaker 1: at night. And this is like at age eight and nine,

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Speaker 1: and so I was I learned so much from the

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Speaker 1: roots of being connected with nature as a young kid,

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Speaker 1: and I think my dad said enough of this, and

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Speaker 1: he came to California when I was it's called it

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Speaker 1: fourth grade and came to California and said, Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: do something a little bit more sophisticated and so not

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Speaker 1: that there's anything wrong with dropping out and you know,

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Speaker 1: building a life on a farm. And so he got

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Speaker 1: a corporate job, if you will, in sales. I was

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Speaker 1: thrust it into the city life, and I didn't quite

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Speaker 1: fit in with traditional stick and ball sports, and so

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Speaker 1: again I was like, okay, well, what is the thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm more interested in? Because I came from this

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Speaker 1: natural world and mother nature and all that stuff, and

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Speaker 1: so I was naturally attracted to action sports. And so

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Speaker 1: action sports in California are like surfing, skateboarding, motocross, BMX,

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Speaker 1: like that stuff where there's some connection to mother Nature.

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Speaker 1: But the real deeper connection was there wasn't a set

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Speaker 1: of arbitrary rules and artificial coaching, and it just was

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Speaker 1: pure because if you made a mistake, you'd leave a

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Speaker 1: little skin on the asphalt. If you made a mistake,

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Speaker 1: you get held under you know, a wave longer than

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Speaker 1: you know you thought you could do. And so there's

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Speaker 1: a real tolerance for risk taking slash material consequences when

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Speaker 1: you make a mistake. And there wasn't these adults hovering over,

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Speaker 1: you know, yelling and shouting, and I thought, as a kid, like,

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Speaker 1: this is weird. This is really bizarre. And so what

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Speaker 1: ended up bringing me to sports psychology though, was in surfing.

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Speaker 1: There's two types of surfing. There's free surfing and competitive surfing.

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Speaker 1: And free surfing is like what you do with you know,

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Speaker 1: I say this in a in a gender biased way

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Speaker 1: because we didn't I didn't know any females that were surfing.

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Speaker 1: But what you do with the boys and and free surfing.

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Speaker 3: I could do it.

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Speaker 1: I could get it done. It was awesome. No one's looking.

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Speaker 1: You just kind of go into the scariest part of

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Speaker 1: the heaviest part of a wave and you don't tell

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Speaker 1: anyone about it. You experience it. But then come competition

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Speaker 1: when there's people on the beach, and there's judges and

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Speaker 1: family and friends, and there's people scoring and critiquing. I

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Speaker 1: was a disaster. So I didn't have the psychology to

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Speaker 1: take what I could do into a moment that became

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Speaker 1: too big for me, which was a competition. And that's

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Speaker 1: where a competitor said to me one day, ader Vay,

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Speaker 1: I serve with you every day. He was older than me.

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Speaker 1: I serve with you every day. You should be mopping

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Speaker 1: up everybody out here. But you got to stop thinking

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Speaker 1: about what could go wrong. I thought, how does he know?

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Speaker 1: How does he know what's in mind? You know, that's

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Speaker 1: all I'm thinking about, all the things that could go wrong.

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Speaker 1: And then he paddled off. You know, he beat me

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Speaker 1: in that heat because now he's in my head. But

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Speaker 1: what I figured out was that I could use my mind.

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Speaker 1: I could There's a way that I could use my

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Speaker 1: mind to help me do what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: And I wasn't And so I didn't know what psychology was.

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Speaker 1: As fifteen years old, I didn't know what it was.

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Speaker 1: And long story getting a little bit shorter here is

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Speaker 1: that I fell in love when I got to college.

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Speaker 1: Eventually got to college. That's a whole different story. But

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with the world of the invisible,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know anybody in my family that went

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Speaker 1: to college. I certainly didn't know anyone that had a PhD.

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Speaker 1: And so what accidentally happened is three professors, and I

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Speaker 1: love bringing up their names, if you allow me, please,

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Speaker 1: doctor Zenka, doctor Perkins, and doctor Cuzio, a philosopher, a theologian,

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Speaker 1: and a psychologist. And they were best friends. Great names

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Speaker 1: I Zanka and Cuzio and Perkins. So they were best buds.

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Speaker 1: And they saw me coming like this, you know, full

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Speaker 1: of energy but clueless kid that had no real direction

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Speaker 1: and all he wanted to do was break rules and

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Speaker 1: be counterculture and quote unquote get after it in life.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what that really meant, but they saw

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Speaker 1: that coming in they said, hey, listen, let me introduce

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Speaker 1: you to this beautiful world of the invisible. And it

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Speaker 1: lit me on fire and set me down this path

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Speaker 1: that I just wanted to learn more and more and

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Speaker 1: more and more. And that's kind of how it happened.

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Speaker 2: Talk to me about the reference to eventually getting to college.

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Speaker 1: High school was an adventure and so yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of fun. I didn't take school seriously.

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Speaker 1: I was in the water a lot surfing, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I got it. Was my senior year in high school.

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Speaker 1: My parents pulled me aside and it was a you know,

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Speaker 1: southern California, a beautiful sunny day, and my mom says, hey,

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Speaker 1: we tried, because they didn't go to college, you know,

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Speaker 1: but hey, we tried, and you got a zero on

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Speaker 1: your p SAT. You got a zero on your SAT

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Speaker 1: and it's because I ditched. I went surfing. And they said,

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Speaker 1: you've got a choice to make now. Either you got

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Speaker 1: to get a job and get out, or you can

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Speaker 1: go to community college and you can stay here. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, community college, Wait, these are bad choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready to kind of go become self sufficient.

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready for that. But I know how to

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Speaker 1: actually go to school, play the game a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and keep surfing. So let me just do that. And

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Speaker 1: that's accidentally how I got into college. And it was

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Speaker 1: never part of the design. And so I mean, I'll

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Speaker 1: spare some of the details, but college was meaningful. High

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Speaker 1: school was fun.

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Speaker 2: Got it, Okay, So when your learning starts to get meaningful,

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Speaker 2: talk to me about kind of the switch of gears

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Speaker 2: that must happen in your head because as someone again,

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Speaker 2: high school was fun. I can't imagine that until you

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Speaker 2: really started to think to yourself, like, wow, I'm actually

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Speaker 2: really interested in this material and understand that you could

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Speaker 2: do something with that material. Did that experience become something

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Speaker 2: that to you felt worthwhile?

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Speaker 1: Well? Right? You know, if you look at pop psychology,

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Speaker 1: you'll read things or hear about things like you got

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Speaker 1: to have a vision in your life, and I will

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Speaker 1: talk about the science and the art of vision, because

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Speaker 1: there's some important stuff there, and you got to have

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Speaker 1: big goals and audacious whatever. I don't know, I know

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Speaker 1: the science there, but that was not true for me.

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Speaker 1: What was true for me is that I was in

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Speaker 1: conversation and reading things that were illuminating, and I never

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Speaker 1: thought that if I read this book later one day,

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Speaker 1: maybe I wanted to read this book and understand it

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Speaker 1: so I could run back and have a conversation with

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Speaker 1: somebody who really understood it, the professor or the other

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Speaker 1: kids in the class that were trying to wrestle with it,

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Speaker 1: because it lit me up. And so it was never

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Speaker 1: for later. It was for the purity of it. And

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Speaker 1: that's Actually, what action sports will teach you is that

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Speaker 1: if you're not completely absorbed in present here now, the

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Speaker 1: consequences are too great. So like, be about it and

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Speaker 1: then let me pull back one more layer. I think

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Speaker 1: this is materially important in where we might go in

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Speaker 1: this conversation. Is that when I would walk from school

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Speaker 1: to home and we lived next to the ocean, I

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Speaker 1: would walk. I've never talked to anyone about this, but

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Speaker 1: i would walk down the street and I'd look at

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Speaker 1: a hedge and as I'm walking, I'm looking at the hedge,

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Speaker 1: like how I'm going to surf off that hedge as

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Speaker 1: if it was a real wave. I was obsessed with

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Speaker 1: trying to get better, to ready myself for the next challenge,

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Speaker 1: because the next challenge, if I really push myself, could

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Speaker 1: be dangerous. And so the same was true in school.

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Speaker 1: I was readying myself to understand it better, but not

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Speaker 1: for later. Really it was because I loved what the

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Speaker 1: way it felt to get better, and so so anyways,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of the obsession that sometimes I think is required.

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Speaker 1: That I don't wish really on people to explore their potential.

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Speaker 1: There's a dark side that we could maybe benefit talking about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you mentioned the art of visioning and

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Speaker 2: like thinking about what it is that you want, and

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Speaker 2: obviously for your example of like looking at the hedge

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Speaker 2: and focusing on the hedge and thinking about what could

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Speaker 2: happen if you had to surf on the hedge, you know,

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I was seeing the hedge as if it was

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Speaker 1: a wave. So it was a way to do like imagery,

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Speaker 1: like using that as a placeholder for a big wave.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, yeah, no, no, no, it's fine. I appreciate the

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Speaker 2: I appreciate the explanation. So let's talk a little bit

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Speaker 2: about that concept of visioning and of thinking about or

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Speaker 2: picturing where it is that you think you could go

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Speaker 2: or what you would do. For so many people, they

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Speaker 2: can think those things, but then, as I'm sure you've

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Speaker 2: experienced in your work and in your conversations, there can

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Speaker 2: be a large disconnect between thinking about it and then

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Speaker 2: actually like thinking about how you can make that thing

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Speaker 2: that you're thinking about happen.

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Speaker 1: Right on, And I I just want to I want

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Speaker 1: to remind people. So I've studied, you know, to the

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Speaker 1: edges of psychology and the psychology of excellence, like how

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Speaker 1: the extraordinaries, work from a rigor of research and academic

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Speaker 1: you know training, as well as being in the amphitheater

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Speaker 1: in some of the most extraordinary you know organizations. I'd

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Speaker 1: love to tell some of those stories, but I just

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Speaker 1: want to remind or kind of level set that I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I think people are struggling in life right now.

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Speaker 1: I know that to be true. And just because you

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Speaker 1: don't know exactly what you want your future to be

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Speaker 1: right now, it's okay. I never did, and I love

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Speaker 1: my life like materially love my life, and I never

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Speaker 1: thought that. I didn't even know there was an industry

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Speaker 1: that I'm in right now, and so I just want

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Speaker 1: to kind of help build some space to say, you know,

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Speaker 1: right now is hard, and we can thin slice your

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Speaker 1: vision of the man, woman person you want to be,

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Speaker 1: thin slice it to like today or this week, or

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Speaker 1: this month or this quarter, you know, like we can

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Speaker 1: thin slice it, because I think it starts to really

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Speaker 1: freak people out when we say, well, what is your

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Speaker 1: life purpose? And now that's a big question. I asked

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Speaker 1: that to just about everybody, but I want to do

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Speaker 1: it in a way that is respectful to I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to keep my head above water, dude. You know, like right,

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Speaker 1: let's start there. Let's thin slice. What's your purpose today?

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Speaker 3: I love that terminology. Thin slice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, it's everything we can do right now, you know,

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Speaker 1: because of the radical change that's taking place. Unless unless

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Speaker 1: you have conditioned and trained your mind to manage uncertainty,

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Speaker 1: to manage unknown And I think what twenty twenty has

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Speaker 1: shown us unpleasantly so is that, let's just talk about

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Speaker 1: North America for a minute. We are not prepared to

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Speaker 1: deal with both chronic stress and acute stress. Before twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: We're barely keeping it together because the chronic stress was real.

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Speaker 1: And the idea about hustle hard, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: That is not how this works. Hustle hard. I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: if you kind of ascribe to it, but it's so

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Speaker 1: broken because in the world stage, we don't talk about

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Speaker 1: working hard. We're talking about recovering intelligently. Everybody works hard.

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Speaker 1: So if you've got to tell someone to work hard,

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Speaker 1: there's a flaw somewhere. It's like something else that I

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Speaker 1: can talk about from a psychological perspective, But it's recovering intelligently.

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Speaker 1: It's training your mind so that when you are in

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Speaker 1: the thick of stuff, you know how to use the

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Speaker 1: right amount of attentional focus to get the thing done,

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Speaker 1: and no more, no less, to get to the edges

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Speaker 1: every day of your capacity is how you make you.

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Speaker 1: And if you're fatigued and tired and scared, you don't

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Speaker 1: run to the edges. But the best in the world,

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Speaker 1: athletes and entertainers, executives like they run to the edge

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Speaker 1: every day and intelligently recover, run to the edge again,

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Speaker 1: fegure out what they need to learn and then recover.

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Speaker 1: And so we talk more about recovery than we do about,

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Speaker 1: you know, working hard. How does that all relate to purpose?

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Speaker 1: Twenty twenty showed us that we are not properly trained,

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Speaker 1: Our mind is not properly trained. And I'd love to

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Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about that with you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I would love to hear more about that.

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Speaker 2: I think for someone listening to this, their first follow

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Speaker 2: up question, and my first follow up question would be

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Speaker 2: how do I start training? Aside from, of course, as

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Speaker 2: we all have over the past year, like kind of

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Speaker 2: being thrown into the waters.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, So let's just pull back the curtain one

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Speaker 1: more level. Here is that there's two ways to think

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Speaker 1: about psychology. Okay, so the psychology of excellence, certainly, one

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Speaker 1: is the path of self discovery okay, and then the

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Speaker 1: second are the mental skills so that you can be

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Speaker 1: about it more often. So the first things is like

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Speaker 1: a series of practices, and I can walk you through

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Speaker 1: all of them. It's not complicated, but like, who are you?

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Speaker 1: What is your purpose? What are the goals that are

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Speaker 1: going to help you live align to that purpose? Back

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Speaker 1: to the vision word, like what does it look and

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Speaker 1: feel like when it's all on point? And so there's

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Speaker 1: a whole path of self discovery. And I'll pin that

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Speaker 1: for just a moment. Because Harvard did a seventy five

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Speaker 1: year study, a longitudinal study across people's life, and they

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Speaker 1: wanted to understand fulfillment. So they measured these people for

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Speaker 1: seventy five years and at the end they said were

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Speaker 1: you fulfilled? And whatever percentage said yes and the other

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Speaker 1: percentage said no. Then the people that said yes, they

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Speaker 1: asked them, so you report that you had to fulfilled life,

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Speaker 1: how does that happen them? And one of the key takeaways,

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Speaker 1: there's three big ones, but one of the key takeaways

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Speaker 1: is that they wrestled with the deep questions of life.

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Speaker 1: So if you want to live a fulfilled life, part

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Speaker 1: of that is wrestling with the hard questions in life,

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Speaker 1: like what is your purpose? And back to our early part.

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Speaker 1: If that feels too big right now, no problem, thin

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Speaker 1: slice it, like what's your purpose today? You know, what's

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Speaker 1: your purpose this week?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's exactly what I was going to say here

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Speaker 2: is that I think for a lot of people that

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Speaker 2: kind of question, what is your purpose? It's like WHOA,

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Speaker 2: I don't even know where to start or how to

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Speaker 2: articulate that. So do you have you know, any words

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Speaker 2: of wisdom of how to thin slice a question like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. According to science, there's three parts to purpose. So

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Speaker 1: research suggests that people that wrestle with purpose and can

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Speaker 1: articulate it, there's three main themes. The first is nobody

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Speaker 1: can give you yours. It has to matter to you,

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Speaker 1: and so it's called personal meaning. So that's the responsibility

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Speaker 1: I think to be an adult, what is my purpose

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Speaker 1: in life? And if it doesn't matter to you, it's

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Speaker 1: not real. Again, nobody can give it to you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So that's one. The second is it's bigger than you,

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Speaker 1: So true purpose these people that are fulfilled and have

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Speaker 1: purpose in their life. It's something grander than themselves. So

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Speaker 1: it's not the purpose of like getting paid. It's maybe

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Speaker 1: getting paid for because I can or we can, but

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Speaker 1: there's something larger than one's own needs being taken care of.

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Speaker 1: And then the third is it's future oriented, so there's

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Speaker 1: a down the path type of thinking about purpose right

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Speaker 1: for life purpose, so it's bigger than bigger than you,

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Speaker 1: and it requires time to materially move toward. So those

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Speaker 1: are three components, and how do you do it? You

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Speaker 1: write it down. There's three ways, a couple threes here,

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Speaker 1: back to back, but there's three ways. Right, write some

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Speaker 1: stuff down, speak to people that have wisdom, you know

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Speaker 1: that are in your community, whether it's a psychologist or

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Speaker 1: you know, a preacher or a rabbi or whatever it

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Speaker 1: might be. And then the third is to investigate in

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Speaker 1: a practice of mindfulness where you're really listening and understanding

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Speaker 1: that your inner nature, like the thoughts and how they

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Speaker 1: relate to your emotions, and when you wrestle with ideas,

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Speaker 1: what happens internally. So those are three meditation conversations with

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Speaker 1: wisdom and then writing to be true?

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Speaker 3: What is your purpose.

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Speaker 1: Oh I haven't done. No, I'm joking.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot of can you even imagine?

433
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my god, I shouldn't answer that. Yeah, So

434
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: I'll say that it changed about ten years ago, and

435
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: so I can tell you my first one, but then

436
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 1: it's changed. It's very clear for the last ten years.

437
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: It's to help people live in the present moment more often.

438
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: And the reason that is I light up when I

439
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: even say it and think about it, thank you for asking,

440
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: is because the present moment is where wisdom is revealed.

441
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 1: It is where high performance is expressed. So there's like,

442
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: that's the world I'm in. So the present moment is

443
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: where wisdom is revealed, high performance is expressed, and all

444
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: things that are true, beautiful, good, and amazing are experienced.

445
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: And so the present moment is where we meet ourselves.

446
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: And so if I can help people by training their

447
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: mind live in the present moment more often, I think

448
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: that we begin to reimagine humanity. We get to reimagine

449
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: what it means to be fully alive, working towards the

450
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: capacity of our collective potential. And that's not going to

451
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: happen unless we spend more time in the present. But

452
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 1: we're so busy worrying about later and worrying about what

453
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: had happened, that we're missing even glimpses of the present

454
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: moment throughout the day because we're busy, busy, busy, hustle, hustle, hustle,

455
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: that we're not dropped in to meet the demands of

456
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 1: this moment in a squared up, shouldered way, because it

457
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: takes everything that you have to meet the demands of moments,

458
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: because our mind wants to check out to try to

459
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 1: solve danger as opposed to be fluid with the risk

460
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: that is unfolding right now. And that risk for you

461
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: and me is neither of us know what's about to happen.

462
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: And so if we can trust enough by training our minds,

463
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: if we can trust enough that we can meet the

464
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: new demand, then we can kind of go, oh, let

465
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: me enjoy this life, this unfolding moment to moment life.

466
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 2: For those that have a problem managing the chaos, for

467
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 2: those that are in a similar circumstance, or or find

468
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: themselves in this circumstance where they can't focus on the

469
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 2: now because they have so much anxiety or worry about

470
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: what is next, how do you advise that they get

471
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 2: to this place where they're better equipped to handle the now.

472
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: That's where mental training comes in. And so what you're

473
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: describing is like there's ranges you know, clinical anxiety to

474
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 1: excessive worry to something smaller than that, which would be

475
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 1: you know, like I kind of worry about things, or

476
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: my mind is a little easily distracted. So depending on

477
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 1: where somebody is on a spectrum that we would suggest,

478
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: you know, heavy lifting or lightlifting, but the lifting is

479
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: going to be mindfulness will be part of the lifting.

480
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 1: Breathing training will be another part of the lift. Awareness

481
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 1: of your inner dialogue so that you can adjust and

482
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: come return back to now is the essence of one

483
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: of the cornerstones of mindfulness. So you become aware of

484
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 1: your inner life, your thoughts and emotions, and so that

485
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: you can pivot and come back to now, come back again,

486
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 1: and come back again. And we can double click on

487
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: that for sure. And then the other some sort of

488
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 1: breathing mechanism or breathing training so that when your body activates,

489
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,239
Speaker 1: because your brain's job is to scan the world and

490
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: find the dangers. Its job, and if you don't use

491
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: your mind to work with the brain again, the brain's

492
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: job is to scan the world to find danger and

493
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: to either fight or run away. But the mind's job

494
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: is to be the software that is governing and guiding

495
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 1: that brain's dictum for survival primarily. And I'm oversimplifying a

496
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: very beautiful hand and glove interaction between software hardware that

497
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: is so complicated. We struggle with analogies you know of

498
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: how it really works, But the mind can be It's

499
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: a software that can be upgraded. And you know, I mean,

500
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: who trained your mind? Out of curiosity?

501
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 3: Who trains my mind?

502
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: Who trained your mind? Because you're operating at a certain

503
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: with a certain system, You've got to what version would

504
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: you say you are of yourself.

505
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: If I had to take a step back and really

506
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 2: think about it. And it's interesting to me to hear

507
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 2: you say that the spectrum, because I certainly used to

508
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: be a person who didn't navigate frequent anxiety very well.

509
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: And I have found, especially over the past year, that

510
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: through defining my purpose, integrating more mindfulness into my regular routine,

511
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 2: doing more meditation and breath work, I have been able

512
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: to tap in to an ability that the old Emily.

513
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: And I'm not exactly sure if I can give you

514
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,719
Speaker 2: what level we're on now, But an older version of

515
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: myself certainly didn't even think was possible for her. Now

516
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: does that mean that I feel as though I never

517
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:43,479
Speaker 2: feel like her?

518
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 3: Sometimes?

519
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: Of course not, But it does mean that now I've

520
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 2: seen the other side of the coin, so to speak,

521
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: and I feel more empowered to come back to calm

522
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 2: in circumstances that before I didn't think was possible.

523
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. Now call out an upgrade. You know.

524
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: It could be a minor upgrade or a major upgrade

525
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: to be determined. But to get to the upgrades we do,

526
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: it does require some programming, and I'm over using the

527
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: analogy right now, but mental training is the way that

528
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: you can upgrade the software. So confidence is a skill.

529
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: How about that? You know? I would I bet quite

530
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: a bit of money that unless you went out and

531
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: looked for it, nobody has taught you how to train

532
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: your mind. Like it didn't happen in grade school or

533
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: high school or college. So we have to go to

534
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: a shrink. Coaches really don't know, you know, I love coaches,

535
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: It's the world I live in. But they say, hey,

536
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: come on, you should be confident. Won't show me how

537
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: you know? Like I show me how. So it's a

538
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: trainable skill. Did anybody show you the mechanics of confidence?

539
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: Have you been trained?

540
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 3: Not specifically?

541
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll talk. We can talk about that some other time.

542
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 1: What do you mean by yeah? Yeah? So how do

543
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: you train? So it comes from only one place, which

544
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: is what you say to yourself. But what you say

545
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: to yourself must be credible. And so to speak credibly

546
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: to yourself about yourself relative to what you think the

547
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: demands are that are coming. So confidence is a state

548
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: specific experience. So it's moment to moment really, and if

549
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: you have the inner mechanisms to speak to yourself a

550
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: certain way about your skills relative to the perceived demand,

551
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: you're going to figure it out. But to speak to

552
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: yourself in a way that has credibility, you have to

553
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,239
Speaker 1: have done really hard things in your life. And so

554
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: what happens for most people is when they feel a

555
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,239
Speaker 1: bit anxious, so their heart ticks up a little bit,

556
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: their breathing changes, they start to see the dangers in

557
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: the world. Is instantly the mind the software goes to, oh, well,

558
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: this is big, feel me like I'm I'm over, my

559
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 1: cup is spilling over, like I'm kind of a mess

560
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 1: as opposed to instantly going to like, oh wait, I'm

561
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: built for hard things. I've done A and B and C,

562
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: and look i can do A. I think I can

563
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: do B, and I'm definitely going to knock down C.

564
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: But that's training. Training, you know, to know in your

565
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: history what gives you the right to say something like

566
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: I can do hard things? So how do you do it?

567
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: You got to write it down, You got to practice,

568
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,719
Speaker 1: you know, just like it sounds mechanical, emily, but it's

569
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: sets and reps, you know. And I think behind you

570
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: you've got like times.

571
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, behind me, I've got some some marathon time posters.

572
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: Okay, who's are they?

573
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 3: That their mind?

574
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: So so you know what sets and reps are about,

575
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 1: you know, and like there's no way to really get

576
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: better without true sets and reps. And so training your

577
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: mind to know the types of thinking that it's credible

578
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: that will help you is how you get to the

579
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: ability to be consistent with confidence, not arrogant, not naive

580
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: confidence like boastful confidence, but true, grounded like now I

581
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: know how to relate to the challenge ahead.

582
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love

583
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Speaker 2: Talk to me about the evolution of your confidence going

633
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 2: through college, getting to a point where you were getting

634
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 2: more interested in your studies, and coming to a place

635
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 2: where you started to recognize, Hey, I think I could

636
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 2: be good at life doing something with this material that

637
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 2: I'm learning about.

638
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't understand confidence when I was in high school.

639
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: That's kind of what happened to me and surfing is

640
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: that I was a mess because I did know how

641
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: to speak to myself properly. That would build and I'll

642
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,439
Speaker 1: just oversimplify. There's there's really an oversimplification. There's two types

643
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: of thoughts, thoughts that space and build, and thoughts that

644
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,479
Speaker 1: can strict and tighten up. Oversimplifying. But so I didn't

645
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 1: even understand that basic framework and so I left my

646
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 1: inner experience to what other people might be thinking of me.

647
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: How dangerous is that? So fear of other people's opinions?

648
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: Call it fopo. You've heard of yolo and fomo, right,

649
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 1: So faupo, I think, is the great constrictor of human

650
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: potential in modern times, fearing other people's opinions. So that's

651
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:40,240
Speaker 1: what I was leaving my internal state too, what others

652
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 1: might think of me. And so when did that change?

653
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: When I got sick and tired of being at the

654
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: whips end of my environment, when I was fatigued as

655
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: a man saying why do I feel this way? I'm

656
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: trying to present myself a certain way, but really inside

657
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't really match. So this was like early thirties

658
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 1: for me, and I said, I'm done with that, like

659
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: what there's and I was studying it, you know, I

660
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: was just finishing up my PhD. And there was a

661
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: moment when I hadn't yet graduated. There was an international

662
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: conference that I was speaking at and it was my

663
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: first international conference, and I was kind of changing or

664
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 1: challenging grounded theory in the field. And you could see

665
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: and feel I was backstage with a friend of mine

666
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: and the dean of my school. And you could feel

667
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: the energy kind of filling up the hall, and you

668
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 1: could hear the you know that it was multiple hundreds,

669
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: maybe thousands, I don't know. It's a little foggy to

670
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: me now, but it was a large room. And I

671
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: was feeling good, like I was feeling really good. And

672
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: I've got my suit on. It's like the first time

673
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 1: I had a suit other than a wedding or a

674
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: funeral or something. You know, I'm zero professionalism. I printed

675
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 1: business cards just for this thing. And and so I'm ready.

676
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: I'm feeling great about going up there. And it's about

677
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: five minutes before and my buddy nudges me backstage and

678
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 1: he goes, hey, look in the front row. So I

679
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 1: kind of peeked me through the corner and I look,

680
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 1: and there's a gentleman and I go, oh, my, is

681
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 1: that him the person I was challenging the theory? And

682
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: I looked at my buddy and my eyes got big

683
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: English yep, And I look back and he grew like

684
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,800
Speaker 1: to nine feet tall, you know, five hundred and fifty pounds.

685
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 1: Like he just looked like he was this massive human

686
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:34,760
Speaker 1: that was pissed off Okay, so it was not really,

687
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean. So I instantly went

688
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 1: into a state of panic. And so here's the dialogue.

689
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: Oh god, they're going to find out. Everyone here is

690
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: going to find out that I don't. I'm bullshitting, I don't.

691
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: Oh god, they're going to find out. And so, you know,

692
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: imposter syndrome full effect, like objectively I did. I really

693
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: do know. I knew my stuff. This is no different

694
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: than when I was fifteen. And now I'm thirty something,

695
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: and it's like or just before thirty. And so I

696
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: started to hit the panic button. My body temperature heated up.

697
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,760
Speaker 1: There's a beat of sweat down my back. My forehead

698
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,839
Speaker 1: started to kind of blister with some sweat. I've got

699
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,839
Speaker 1: a little tremor. Now my breathing's changing, my heart's ticking up.

700
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 1: I look down at my business card and I'm trying

701
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: to keep it cool. I looked down at my business

702
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: card and I realized that I didn't put my email

703
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 1: address on it. This is like, you know, twenty years ago,

704
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, again, I use that to go, oh god,

705
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 1: I'm such a rookie, and I'm now I'm trying to

706
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 1: write my business my email on the back of my

707
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: bit and my handshaking, and I'm looking at the card

708
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 1: and my visual space shial is all wrong. So I'm

709
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: like writing down the side of the card trying to

710
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: fit it all in. And these are all things that

711
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: I'm using to tighten up further. And so I realized,

712
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,359
Speaker 1: and so here's the other narrative, like, oh my god,

713
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be talking about like being present and

714
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: confidence and I'm a mess, you know. So it's all

715
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: that stuff that's wrapped up. If I can't even talk

716
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: about her to live it like what a phony. And

717
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: so so I realized at that moment, there's no way

718
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: around it. You gotta go through it. You gotta do

719
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: the fundamental work. And I thought I was doing it,

720
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: but I was bullshitting myself. And so that moment changed me.

721
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: And so thank you for telling that story. It's a

722
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: long story, but it changed me.

723
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 3: And what happened, I mean, did you go on the stage.

724
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm I just geala one to ten. Ten

725
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: is like I just threw up in my mouth and

726
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: a five is the sweet spot, you know, or really

727
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: like the porridge is just right, it's not too hot,

728
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 1: too cold, and I was at like a nine and

729
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: a half just right before it. And funny thing is is,

730
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 1: as I was writing, I'm trying to play it cool

731
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: because I don't I didn't want my buddy to think

732
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: I was a mess, you know, even though that's what

733
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: friends are four, you know, like, but he was, you know,

734
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,240
Speaker 1: he was loving that. I was kind of like freaking

735
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,919
Speaker 1: out a little bit because he could kind of tell.

736
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 1: And I started when I was writing my my I

737
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: just was focusing on getting my name squared up, so

738
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: it required a deep focus and so I was just

739
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: getting that right, trying to have a clear kind of

740
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: penmanship on it, and that actually materially was gating out

741
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: all of the danger. It was gating out all of

742
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: the anxiety, all the worry, all the shitty self talk,

743
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: and so it was just a deep focus that I

744
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: was on and I'm trying to breathe the whole time.

745
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: And then it started clicking. So probably like forty seconds

746
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: to go. Thirty seconds ago, my buddy notices that I'm

747
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: still writing on my cards and he nudges me again.

748
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: He's like, dude, you get ready now, And I kind

749
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 1: of came back and I was like, oh, I'm back

750
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: like that, all that other stuff went away. I didn't

751
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: have a great mind, but I was. I was in

752
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: a frame that I could manage at that point, and

753
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: so it was good. It was a good experience for me.

754
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: More importantly, other than what I said, what I learned

755
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: backstage was more important than what I did on stage,

756
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: and it was fine. On stage, it was fine. So

757
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 1: thank you.

758
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 2: So then share with me how you go from this

759
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 2: pivotal moment for you and understanding the importance of going

760
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 2: through something to getting to the place where as you

761
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:27,320
Speaker 2: referenced before you're in the amphitheater. Talk to me about

762
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: that transition in your life.

763
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think the segue in there is that.

764
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 1: And I've been fortunate to work now in some of

765
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 1: the most hostile environments known to humans. Certainly rugged environments

766
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: like the last ten years with the Seattle Seahawks, but

767
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: that's rugged. There's some pressure in those environments. But some

768
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: of the other places, like the stuff red Bull Stratos

769
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 1: and a project called Heaven sent Rebel Stratus is when

770
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: Felix baum Gotner jumped from about one hundred and thirty

771
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: thousand feet and the brightest minds in aerospace, weren't sure

772
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: if he was going to make it. It was an

773
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: incredibly dangerous and wonderful project that was on. So how

774
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: do you go from those environments? I think the segue

775
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: that makes sense is that I needed to do the work.

776
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:18,240
Speaker 1: And just like we physically prepare with sets and reps

777
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: so that we can express ourselves creatively on the playing field,

778
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 1: whether that's the boardroom or it's the field, or it's

779
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: the living room. You know, when there's a moment that's

780
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,399
Speaker 1: got some stress on it, like, can we use our

781
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: faculties to express ourselves towards our upper capability? That I

782
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: needed to put in the reps, not only physically but mentally,

783
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 1: and so you know, the mental stuff is meditation, it's

784
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:52,240
Speaker 1: breathing work, it's clarity of purpose, it is training deep focus.

785
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: It is a framework of optimism, which is a trainable skill.

786
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,760
Speaker 1: All of that builds the ability to be more resilient

787
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 1: to deal with the real challenges that come. If you

788
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: want to do something special with your own capabilities, there's

789
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 1: going to be real challenges. Karch Karai is one of

790
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: the best to ever play the game of volleyball and

791
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: coach it, so multiple gold medals, Olympics, World Championships, indoor beach,

792
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 1: you name it. He is a legend. And as I

793
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: was working with the US women's national team going into

794
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: Rio for the last Olympic Games, and he said he

795
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 1: was the coach, and he says, Mike, I'm certain that

796
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: no one gets to the podium at the Olympic Games

797
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: without passing through a double barrel shotgun while at the Games.

798
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: So let's prepare our team to know how to stand

799
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 1: down a double barrel shotgun. That's rad So that's training

800
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 1: the mind.

801
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 2: You referenced the US women's national team. You referenced the Seahawks.

802
00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 2: Talk to me about the first time that you recall

803
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 2: perhaps getting that phone caller making your way into a

804
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:09,959
Speaker 2: scenario where you were working with someone that you yourself had

805
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 2: previously heard of, or someone of such what's the word

806
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 2: I want to use here, esteem or a well known

807
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 2: individual that kind of scared you a little bit.

808
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: That's cool thought. I think that I'll tell you a

809
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 1: funny story. I was nine years old.

810
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 3: It's not where I expected this one to start.

811
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: And I'll let you be the judge of funny. You know,

812
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: I think it's funny, but it was nine years old,

813
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of the hillbilly that I was in

814
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 1: Virginia and there was this event where the kicker for

815
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 1: the Redskins was going to do a talk at the

816
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: local high school. And my dad's like, hey, let's go,

817
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 1: and I was like, for what? And so we went.

818
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: We talked, and Mark Moseley was the kicker's name, and

819
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: there's a big lineup afterwards of all the kids signing

820
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: getting there cards signed, and it was I don't know, like,

821
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 1: and my Dad's like, let's get in line, let's do that.

822
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, Like I'd rather go home.

823
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: I had no interest. I don't I still to this day,

824
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: am more interested in the human than what they've done.

825
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 1: So to answer your question, honestly, it'll it almost will

826
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: sound blasphemous because I so enjoy the people I work with,

827
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 1: but I don't lead with like, look what they've done,

828
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, because I do know that they have

829
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 1: the same worries, they breathe the same air, they have

830
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 1: the same basic dreams for their kids, and I'm more

831
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 1: interested in the human experience rather than the performative part

832
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: of them. So I maybe that's a blessing you know

833
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: like I don't. I don't go to that place, and

834
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: I think that I think that that's probably felt by

835
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 1: other people.

836
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:58,800
Speaker 2: Not to say that it's not felt, but to say

837
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 2: and maybe like to allow me to brag on you

838
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 2: for a moment. I've had Carrie Walls Jennings on the show.

839
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 2: Obviously again, you mentioned working with the volleyball team, and

840
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 2: I know, just from seeing you speak everywhere from the

841
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 2: under Armor Performance Summit to Oh my goodness, I just

842
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 2: feel like a handful of times now and hearing about

843
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 2: the clientele that you've worked with, that you have an

844
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 2: impressive roster, and I think that something is to be said,

845
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 2: not just of course, by the fact that you've been

846
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 2: able to work with these individuals, but about the fact

847
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,479
Speaker 2: that you're so I would argue good at what you do,

848
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 2: that you have become an important tool in the toolbox

849
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 2: for so many high performing individuals that many people listening

850
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 2: to this show would know who they are.

851
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well, first, thank you for the compliment, and

852
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: then I also appreciate you calling me a tool. You

853
00:48:55,120 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: are welcome the tool of a tool in the tool Yeah.

854
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 3: Never have I ever called a guest a tool before.

855
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 1: It's perfect I absolutely love all of it. And and

856
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: you know, like I and I am because I am

857
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: part of like the the support mechanism for the for

858
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: the people in the amphitheater and so okay, so not

859
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: being too far from the joke here is that, Yeah,

860
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: I've been fortunate, and I think part of where what

861
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: I represent with people is that there's far more to

862
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: go and I'm less interested in human the doing than

863
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 1: the being. And what I've come to learn is that

864
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: the most extraordinaries across multiple disciplines. And you know, I

865
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: was this. You know, I've got a small team my business.

866
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 1: We have a small team and we get fined if

867
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 1: we name drop. Okay, so like it's like, you know,

868
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 1: it's it's a fun joke, like if someone's going to

869
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: try a big time and say like, oh well, you know,

870
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: I had a conversation with fill in the blanks, like

871
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: everyone rallies like, okay, you're getting fun nonsense. You know.

872
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 1: So this was but this is cool because this person

873
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: when they announced that they're going to go on tour,

874
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 1: they'll sell out across the planet in fifteen minutes. And

875
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 1: so he says, I am far more interested in being

876
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: than doing, and so being more to do more is

877
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: where this idea was born from. So I think you

878
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: and I and many of us swallowed at a young

879
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: age this idea that we need to do the extraordinary

880
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: to be extraordinary, and I certainly did. I can't speak

881
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: for you, and so I had to undo that first

882
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,879
Speaker 1: to say, no, I need to be me. I need

883
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: to be grounded, be present, be creative, be authentic, and

884
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: then let the doing flow from that place. And it's

885
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,399
Speaker 1: almost like the lid opens up in this magical way.

886
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: And so I think that that's why, because I really

887
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: don't give a shit what they've done. I'm more interested

888
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 1: in who they are and who they want to become.

889
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 1: And so there's a little bit of a breath of

890
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 1: rush are because you've been to a party when someone's

891
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, what do you do? And I

892
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 1: just want to go the fuck are we doing here?

893
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 1: You know? And then they look over and they're looking

894
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 1: over my shoulder. Once they're like, oh, you know you're

895
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: a sports psychologist. Great, well where's the oh yeah, looking

896
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 1: on the shoulder, like where's the star? You know. I'm like,

897
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 1: let's say, I see what you're doing.

898
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 2: And so, you know, but what I will say and

899
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 2: call out here is I know that we were connected

900
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: through the hyper Rice team and to be a part

901
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 2: of their performance advisors group, that's got to be a

902
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 2: cool opportunity.

903
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so hyper Rice is it's a disruptive company,

904
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:48,800
Speaker 1: and so they they're products, their their technology, compression vibration

905
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: products are in just about every locker room I've ever

906
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,760
Speaker 1: been in. I don't do you use them?

907
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 3: I do.

908
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:59,320
Speaker 2: I have everything from a hyper volt to my left

909
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 2: to Norma tech boots to my right. So I've got

910
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 2: a everything in this apartment and I think in a

911
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 2: hyper ice compression sleeve and some ice in my freezer.

912
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: So you're like me for sure. And so they're really disruptive.

913
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: And the reason they're in every locker room, just about

914
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: every locker room I've been in is they're not just

915
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 1: for athletes though. But the reason that there is because

916
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: recovery is a big part of the game. So this

917
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: balance between stress recovery, stress recovery and trying to get

918
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: that thing right is materially important. That's why on the

919
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: world stage we talk about recovery so much. And this

920
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: is a tool to prime for movement and to recover

921
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 1: well from movement and if like I don't move the

922
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 1: way I used to, you know, like I'm not doing

923
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: big events and such, but I'm sitting too much. So

924
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: I've got my compression and my hyper volt I'm using

925
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 1: it every day, losing my hips, hams, low back, glutes,

926
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: and so I don't know what I would do without it. Honestly,

927
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: it sounds cheesy, And I love that I get to

928
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 1: work with them because they're disruptive and they get after

929
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: it and they're credible, and those are the folks and

930
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: companies I love to work with.

931
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,760
Speaker 2: You mentioned that that example of being at the party

932
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: and the people like looking around you and being.

933
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 3: Like, hmm, what's going on here?

934
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 2: Obviously now people know of you, perhaps they see a

935
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 2: performance psychologist. When you look in the mirror, what is

936
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 2: it that you see looking back at you?

937
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: Oh, that's cool, cool question. I there's so many jokes

938
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 1: that I'll keep them all to myself. Right now, I

939
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 1: will say that when I look I am I'm surprised

940
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:57,720
Speaker 1: by the places this body has been, but I feel

941
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 1: completely familiar with the spirit inside, so like it feels

942
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: at home when I look at myself, like I am

943
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 1: at peace with the the inner workings of who I

944
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: am and I'm but I'm like, when I look at

945
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: the shell, I'm like, man, you've been to some places,

946
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: so I just don't. I never thought about the places

947
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 1: and the environments that I've been in that that would

948
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: take place. And so there's a sense of peace about

949
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: the that is the residue, if you will, of living

950
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: with integrity. And I know that I'm talking about me

951
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,319
Speaker 1: living with integrity, which is a weird thing to say,

952
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 1: but like I've been Like it's a good example. I

953
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 1: don't have a friend that cheats on their wife. And

954
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: so I've been married since I was twenty five, so

955
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 1: almost like twenty let's see, I'm forty nine now, so

956
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: whatever the math is on that almost twenty twenty years wife. Yeah,

957
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 1: And and so like I love that I've been completely faithful,

958
00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: and like I don't, you know, like doing the right

959
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 1: thing is so important to me. So like those you know,

960
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 1: my parents had a good job of creating a good,

961
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: strong moral foundation. And then I love that I built

962
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: the mental skills. And I'm not perfect, but I love

963
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: that I'm building mental skills to be able to deal

964
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 1: with high stress environments, you know. And so I don't know.

965
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: That's a long web. I've never really answered that, so

966
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 1: it's a good question. Thank you for that.

967
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 3: Of course.

968
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 2: I mean that your explanation a little bit reminds me

969
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 2: of something that Angela Manuel Davis said to me that

970
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:37,359
Speaker 2: she hopes to live in purpose on purpose. So when

971
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 2: she looks in the mirror, that is what she sees.

972
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:44,360
Speaker 2: She sees a woman who is truly living her purpose

973
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: very intentionally.

974
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: That's what's up. That's really cool.

975
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 3: That's what's up. That's what's up. What excites you right now?

976
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 1: Doctor Jervai, Oh, we got formal. I think that the

977
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: decade of the mind he rattled us. And so this

978
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 1: next decade is going to be about the mind because

979
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: where we've just been, we realize that we didn't have

980
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 1: the capabilities, the psychological capabilities, to deal with such high

981
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,959
Speaker 1: stress change. And so this next decade will be about

982
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: the mind. And I'm incredibly excited about where technology is

983
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 1: going to meet ancient wisdom. That is, we were having

984
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,760
Speaker 1: the extraordinaries raise their hands to say the mind matters.

985
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 1: You know, everyone from the folks that you mentioned to

986
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 1: so many others are raising their hands saying, invest in

987
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 1: your inner life. And so this next decade of the

988
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 1: mind is going to be radical, and I'm super excited.

989
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm bullish on human flourishing. I think that through relationships

990
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 1: with ourselves, then with others and with mother Nature, we

991
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 1: are going to reimagine what it means to be human.

992
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: And so this next decade of the mind is what

993
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: excites me.

994
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 3: Right now.

995
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 2: If I was to give you an opportunity to double

996
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 2: click on something that maybe you would have double clicked

997
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 2: on a little bit sooner in our conversation, and you

998
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,680
Speaker 2: think about something that could be really beneficial to shed

999
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 2: some light on, where does your mind go with.

1000
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 1: That, like for a skill or a tool for folks

1001
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: like where we double k Yeah, I would think one

1002
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 1: of the great bits of work as a human, you know, philosophy.

1003
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry purpose we did let me hit on philosophy

1004
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 1: because we haven't talked about it. And so having a

1005
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: philosophy is really clarity of your guiding principles. So what

1006
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 1: are the principles that guide your thoughts, your words and

1007
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 1: your actions and that bit of work it's substantial, and

1008
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 1: so I would I would like to kind of double

1009
00:57:55,120 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 1: click to use your language on writing down your core philosophy,

1010
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 1: you're guiding principles. Maybe it takes ten pages at first,

1011
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: and then you whittle it down, whittle it down, whittle

1012
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 1: it down to get to something that's like twelve words

1013
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: or less. What is the what are the principles that

1014
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: are going to guide your thoughts, words and actions so

1015
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,439
Speaker 1: that when you run to the thin herd, the edge

1016
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: of the frontier, and when you're running in that high

1017
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 1: stress space, that you're able to have clarity ahead of time.

1018
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: This is how I'm going to guide my thoughts, words

1019
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 1: and actions, and that kind of pre work I think

1020
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 1: pays dividends. So along with purpose, philosophy is equally is important.

1021
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: But then maybe that feels heavy and big and emily

1022
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 1: I'd say that a practice of long exhales would be Yeah,

1023
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: it would be something more thin, sliced, more manageable. But

1024
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: you can't really do like a little band aid thing

1025
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 1: with long exhales if your mind's constantly worrying about the

1026
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: future and you don't know your purpose fill in the blank. So,

1027
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: but a practice of long exhales, to over simplify the

1028
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: science of breathing does send signals to our brain that

1029
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: right now we're okay, and if you think about like

1030
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: there's four parts to every breath, that maybe what we

1031
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 1: would do is we would say, start with a cadence

1032
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 1: something like six in six hold, twelve out six hold,

1033
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 1: and something like that will materially make a difference across

1034
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 1: people's ability to downregulate and stress is an up regulator,

1035
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 1: but I need practices to help downregulate. And doing ten

1036
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: of those in a row as a training wheels, you know, six, six, twelve,

1037
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: six ten times would be a nice little fin slized practice.

1038
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 2: You say, philosophy, and for a listener that hears that,

1039
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,080
Speaker 2: and they hear you explain it, and they start to

1040
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 2: get their wheels turning, and they're not exactly sure still

1041
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 2: how to go about creating that philosophy? What else would

1042
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 2: you tell that? Maybe perhaps if you could provide an example.

1043
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 1: Sure, well, okay, that's great, we'll do both.

1044
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is let's do?

1045
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 1: Doctor King, Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. You know what

1046
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:10,480
Speaker 1: would you say?

1047
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 3: His philosophy is equality period?

1048
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 1: Right, So everywhere he went, his thoughts, his words, and

1049
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: his actions were about moving the narrative of equality. So

1050
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 1: that's a philosophy. And then his life purpose was he

1051
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 1: called it a dream, but his life purpose was to

1052
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 1: see that in a certain form. But his philosophy was

1053
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: really about listening. My thoughts and words and actions need

1054
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 1: to be lined up about helping people, you know, live

1055
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: with equality. And so we can go down the list

1056
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 1: of some of the greats that you know, Mohammad, Jesus, Buddha, Confucian, like,

1057
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:53,240
Speaker 1: we know their philosophies and because that's how they showed

1058
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 1: up everywhere they went. And so the same is available

1059
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 1: for you and me to do that work. And so

1060
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: how do you do it? This is going to sound

1061
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: like a cheesy plug, but I know we're up on time.

1062
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: I built an eight week online course to help people

1063
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 1: do all of this work to pull back the curtain,

1064
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: to show people exactly how I work with the lead

1065
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,919
Speaker 1: athletes and executives and artists on how they can train

1066
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 1: how they train their mind. So you can do the

1067
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: same and so but there's no shortcuts, and I'm not

1068
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: going to hold anything back, but to do the work

1069
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 1: sometimes takes cadence and timing. And in that course, you

1070
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:32,000
Speaker 1: know this is fund Emily. We have we have two

1071
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 1: Olympians that coach you, medalists that coach you along the

1072
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: way and two sports sikes that coach you along the

1073
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,560
Speaker 1: way to get in there and put a dull stick

1074
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: on your back and say, hey, you said you paid

1075
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: the money you signed up, Let's go do the work.

1076
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 1: How can I help you? You know? Like so it's

1077
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 1: that part's really.

1078
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 2: Cool, all right, So last little bit here, you have

1079
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 2: an opportunity right now to offer Let's go back to

1080
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 2: high school. Let's go back to the guy that used

1081
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 2: to be in a place where you would see that

1082
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 2: big wave in competition and not know what the hell

1083
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 2: to do how to perform. You have an opportunity right

1084
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 2: now looking back on that guy to give him one

1085
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 2: piece of advice going.

1086
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 3: Through those hurtle moments. What do you tell him?

1087
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,439
Speaker 1: That's cool? If I go big picture for a minute,

1088
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 1: then I'll drop into the wave thing. Big picture is like,

1089
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 1: nice job, dude, keep going, you know, like keep going,

1090
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 1: you know. And so I I've made mistakes, I've had

1091
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: unfortunate things that have happened to me, things that I've created,

1092
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: co created, you know, all of it, and all of

1093
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: the scar tissue and the pain that I've experienced, it

1094
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 1: has come around for gratitude. So I'm okay with all

1095
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:53,400
Speaker 1: the mistakes that you know and so as to keep going.

1096
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: And so that's the life thing. And then the wave

1097
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 1: thing is like, who gives a shit what they think?

1098
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 1: Be true to yourself, dude, you know, paddle in, push hard,

1099
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 1: pop and go, like be absorbed in what you're doing

1100
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: and stop caring so much about what they think. And

1101
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: so that would be the best kind of gem I do.

1102
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:20,760
Speaker 1: It would have been nice to learn that earlier, but

1103
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 1: I probably needed to have that internal scratchiness for so

1104
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 1: long to get to the truth of it.

1105
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 3: So grateful for your time today.

1106
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 2: I am sitting here like I'll probably be sitting here

1107
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 2: for another thirty minutes digesting all of this, and I'm

1108
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 2: sure the hurdlers will probably feel the same way. At

1109
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 2: doctor gerva How do the hurdlers keep up with you?

1110
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 2: How can they follow along with you? Give me all

1111
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 2: the details?

1112
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 1: Can I be a hurdler too? I love it?

1113
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, please be a hurdler. Invite the squad.

1114
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is so good. Social is fun and so

1115
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it. At Michael Gervais and that's g E

1116
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:02,800
Speaker 1: R v ai s. It's on Insta, LinkedIn Twitter and

1117
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 1: then finding Masters of the podcast and so that has

1118
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:10,240
Speaker 1: been a great way to you know, we're building out

1119
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: some membership model, so there's deeper engagement there. So Finding

1120
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 1: Masters the podcast, and then you can actually wrote a book,

1121
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 1: and so if people want to check out the book.

1122
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:20,640
Speaker 1: But I would say the course is kind of if

1123
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 1: you really want to invest in what you're doing, the

1124
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,440
Speaker 1: course is the best way to go. But the website

1125
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 1: is Findingmastery dot net. Name of the book Compete to Create,

1126
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 1: and the idea is like you got to work your

1127
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 1: ass off to create a living masterpiece, and so we

1128
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: will show you how to work your ass off. But

1129
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 1: it's really about recovery and internal wellness.

1130
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time today. Again, I

1131
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 2: appreciate it so so so much, awesome.

1132
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1133
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 2: I'm over at Emilia Body and at Hurdle Podcast. Another

1134
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 2: Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.