WEBVTT - How Good Moms Survive the Summer 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife, 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:04.280 and she couldn't. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.840 She cleaned and cared for her children and the man 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.640 of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:12.640 She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:17.079 a good woman who always made good choices. That shit, 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:18.720 we're good Mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:21.520 You single mom who said fuck the patriarchy shared all 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:22.400 their bad choices and. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:23.600 Sound out they were so bad. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.600 After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.240 Sit back and enjoy the ride. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:29.160 I can. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.159 Welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:39.720 I'm Nila. Happy hump day, bitches, Happy hump day, bitches. 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.600 It's July. We are deep middle of the summer. Baby 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:48.120 julyon July. July. In July, I'm not Lying's not June. 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:54.440 Is julying you? Julying is definitely julyon. Oh God means 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:55.160 the right is due? 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.760 Oh is it every motherfucking month? 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.640 Every four week? The rent is Just take a deep breath, 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.200 because the rent is due today. Guys. 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.880 It's Wednesday, which means it's July third, right, I mean 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:09.760 it's about to be late, about to be late. 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:12.800 Take a deep breath, a collective breath. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:19.880 Okay, it's gonna be okay, you have a roof over 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.520 your head, it's all day. They'll get it when you 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:26.800 got it, even though mine just gets automatically debited from 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:27.320 my account. 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:29.760 I'm like, I just did it because I was Yeah. 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:31.119 I mean, I guess it's best to do that. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.080 So you're just don't even worry about it because I'm 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:34.760 the bit chip four fifty seven. 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:35.120 On the third. 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.319 Like, I'm like, I I know I have to pay it. 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:40.800 I'm gonna wait till the very last moment of the 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:44.040 second of the day because I don't. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:44.920 I don't think I need to. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:48.480 When did rent become a thing I don't have to pay? 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:49.800 Too? Invented rent? 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.280 Like when there were just huts, Like people weren't renting 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.800 huts and shacks? Like, when did we what is the 0:01:55.800 --> 0:02:02.160 word commande? Commoditized, commoditized, monetize, commoditize, commodity, commodity, you know 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:07.120 what the fuck I mean, start charging people to live civilly? 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:12.519 I mean, it's uh, what's the word I'm looking for? 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:19.959 I don't know. Even consumerism, consumers of America America. I'm 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:20.400 over it. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:23.480 I really was just thinking like, what is life supposed 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:25.720 to be if you just exist? What if we could 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:29.639 just live comfortably, eat delicious food and be healthy and 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:32.959 just commune, Like, what would life be if we weren't 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:36.320 constantly on the rat race of fucking success? 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:41.840 And according according to America, it's savagery. I feel like 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.600 we were doing that before and then they were like, savage. 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:50.520 That's propaganda, America, the representation of America is savagery. And 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:52.960 then they've painted it in red, white and blue and 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.760 stars and white picket fences and white people and pies 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:59.919 and shit and told us this is democracy. And then 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:05.680 all the meanwhile fucking villaging, pillaging and fucking murdering other 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:07.160 people in other countries and telling. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:07.840 Us this is life. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.400 Come over here, and now they're just acting nuts, and 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:15.400 we're exposing and peeling the peeling the lid back on 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.200 the savagery that is America and has always been America 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:22.000 that created America. America was built in savagery. And here 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:23.760 we are acting like we didn't know for the last 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.000 fucking six hundred years, but bitch, we did. We just 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.960 ignored it. But now we're here with this orange monster 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:30.359 and ice. 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.760 On that note, fuck Ice. Fuck Trump, there's a genocide 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:37.880 happening in Gaza. Free Congo, Free Africa, Free everybody. 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.160 And while we're at it, Lord, free me from this shit. 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:42.400 Get me the fuck out of this country if you can. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:45.680 I'm thinking about getting it loped so I can be 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:50.480 it in Jamaican's citizen. Yeah, as soon as possible, because 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:56.640 I actually I will deport myself. Just just give me 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:58.640 the ticket fees. I'll get the fuck out myself. 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.000 I'm over it. 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.600 I was at breakfast just now, and you know, we're 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:05.520 in Hollywood, or right across the street from Universal shout 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.720 out to go good media and this beautiful location in 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:11.120 Hollywood Hills. We were right across the street from Universal Studios, 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.480 and I'm overhearing all these very Hollywood conversations. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.320 Oh yeah, my audition and oh this new production. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.360 And this guy's like, oh hi, George, I just got 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:21.920 my new penthouse on the street. 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:25.760 And I was like, I'm over this city. I don't 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:27.960 want to hear about your script. Jill. I don't give 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:28.320 a fuck. 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:32.160 I was like, oh my god, I lived here too long. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:34.920 But I think also I'm fresh off the plane from 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:39.400 Costa Rica, and just like the conversation is different, and 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:40.960 I know this is my life and this is where 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:42.400 I live and where I've grown up, but I think 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:45.360 I might be at might be at the end of 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:46.279 Hollywood living. 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:49.880 Speaking of fresh off the plane from Costa Rica. 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:52.559 When I got fresh off the plane from Costa Rica, 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.360 I had to go to an influencer event that night 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:58.840 with my mom and I sat next to these nice 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:01.720 ladies and they were like, so, what do you do, 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:05.440 because that's the best way to start a conversation. And 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:07.440 I was like, oh, you know, I do a lot 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:09.600 of things. And they're like, and I just like, I 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:11.560 just got back from Costa Rica. I was doing a retreat. 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.279 They're like, oh, did you did you fly private there? 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.520 And the girl next to her was like why would 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:17.880 she fly private there? 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:21.679 And I and I was like, thank you God. 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.400 And I couldn't even believe this bitch asked me this 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:25.480 stupid ask question. 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:27.520 I was like, by the way I looked at her, 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:28.560 I was like what. 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:31.520 And I'm like, fresh off of like my nervous system 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:36.040 being regulated, eating fresh fruits, like frolicking in the jungle 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:39.600 with couples, and like just doing God's work, and you're 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:41.880 asking me if I flew fucking private to Costa Rica. 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:45.200 No, bitch, I didn't fly private? What like? What? And 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:47.520 what did the girl? She was like, oh, I know. 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:49.760 She was like, I'm sorry. That was like not grounded. 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.680 It's just sometimes I'm in these spaces and you just 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:54.400 never know. And I was like, well, you should just 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.880 assume to just never fucking ask you stupid ask a question. 0:05:57.040 --> 0:06:00.880 Let me tell you I flew private. I was like, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.919 why it was so hard for me to be at 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:06.120 that event. I didn't say a lot of words, and 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:08.240 I could not wait to go home. I felt like 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:10.800 I felt like a deer in headlights there. 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:12.240 That's literally how I feel every time I go to 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:12.600 the gym. 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:16.240 I'm like, am I as my older self like nosy 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.120 and I can just overhear everybody's conversation automatically. I never 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.479 felt this bothered by people speaking until this, like this 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.440 era of my life, and I just want everyone to 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.880 shut the fuck up, Like I, you're not talking about 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.880 anything important, shut up. So I'm like, and I did. 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:33.479 I've invested in headphones just so that I don't have 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.080 to hear other people speak outside. 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:37.279 I realized, if it's time I have headphones at the gym. 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.040 First of all, what do you were doing? You were 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.280 headphone less at the gym. I wasn't, but were you 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:42.560 listening to the gym music? 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.280 Yeah? 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:46.760 Until I realized this is not gonna worry you were 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:50.279 probably working out for fifteen minutes. I left the gym 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:53.240 and immediately went to Best Buy, like I wouldn't go back. 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:55.200 I had to get them. And it wasn't even the 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:55.799 gym music. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:07:03.880 It was everybody having ridiculous, fucking, ridiculous, first world problem 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.200 fucking conversations that I was just like, everybody is tone 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:10.080 deaf as fuck, and we live in Hollywood and we 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:13.000 live in LA and like, it's so odd that you're 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.440 not even like supposed to speak on the things that 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:18.120 are going on, Like we can't even say, like this 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.800 shit is crazy, this is nuts, and fear that someone 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.160 to be like, well I voted for him or. 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:26.720 All today speaking of that and speak just speaking in general. 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.000 I mean, I don't know how you feel about this. 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.040 I said it in our group chat, but no one 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:31.640 said anything. And I always feel like I'm the bitch 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.480 of the group. So whatever, someone at the table today, 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.640 I was at this meeting and they're like, what's everyone doing? 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.880 For fourth of July and everyone's fucking quiet. I was like, 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:42.560 there was like no plans, no plans. You know, there's 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:44.480 like a whole protest of Fourth of July this year 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:46.600 of like, you know, not investing in the economy, not 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:47.560 celebrating coming away. 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:48.720 I'm pretty sure it's every year. 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:52.320 No, it's specifically this year because they're dragging people off 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.440 the streets and Fourth of July is supposed to be 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.640 in celebration of our independence, so. 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:57.320 I mean yes. 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:03.080 And also the this year is exponentially worse than most years. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.400 No, this year is not exponentially worse the most years. 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:07.880 We're just no, we're just paying attention. No, it is 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:08.480 no baby. 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:11.680 No America has been I'm not saying that America hasn't 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:11.960 been bad. 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:14.080 It's a clear has been bad, but it's worse this year. 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.320 It's been bad. You were people getting. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:20.240 Ripped from their families and in mass rates like they 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:21.880 have been this year, last year. 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:23.520 Globally and in generally. 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.880 I'm not arguing whether or not it's bad, but it's 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:29.080 you're gonna You're not gonna say that this year is 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.320 what's happening right now is not worse than that is bad. 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:37.439 What I'm saying is people have been acting and against it. 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:37.920 It's not. 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:40.000 But I'm not arguing always and that I'm not arguing, 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:40.679 So that's what I'm saying. 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.800 Like, I understand you're plight against UH the fourth of 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:48.120 July and not supporting the economy, but unfortunately, this is 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:51.240 the economy in which we exist in and so every 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.080 other day we're supporting the economy. 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.439 No I know, but but but but we are seeing 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:58.679 how our boycotting of certain targets. 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:02.240 We actually have a lot of economy power. 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.920 We have a lot of money power in this economy, 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.040 and we often don't take advantage of it because we 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.200 would rather party or hang out with our friends. 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:10.600 And that's fine, we can still do that. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.240 But I just think that it's it's easy for people 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.320 to just ignore things when they don't feel like it's 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:18.160 directly impacting them. And I'm not saying and I'm not 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:23.520 saying that America hasn't historically been bad, like but I 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:26.600 can't let you say that right now is not worse 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:27.640 than it was last year. 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.640 I just think it's worse because we are it's in 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.079 the media and we have social media and it's exposed. 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:34.320 I don't think it's worse. I think it's been bad. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.079 I think it's been I'm not saying that it's not been. 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.280 Bad in different ways. And now just argue with me. 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:41.200 I'm not arguing with it. You've brought up a conversation. 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.240 I'm just wondering, like, but like, you're gonna sit here 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.960 and tell me that what's happening right now is not 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.200 worse than what's been happening before. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:53.440 I'm not saying it hasn't been bad. There's been slavery 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.680 in America, and I'm not arguing that. 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.480 They're saying when you have people don't have the choice 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.160 to ignore it right now because we have access to 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.520 visually seeing it, and even in this time when we 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.360 can see it, we still see people ignoring it. So 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:08.720 I'm saying, just because the veil has been lifted, it 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.600 doesn't mean that it's it's always been terrible. I don't know, 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.679 but with this particular situation and we have visuals of it, 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.520 yes it's bad, but it's been equally as bad in 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.240 other and other ways, just period. And we have a 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.240 fucking schmuck of a president who's not hiding it. 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:26.200 As well, and we have a present we have a 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.240 different president as well like, of course the president before, 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.199 I'm not saying was any better. Well I would say 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:35.280 he was somewhat better than this president, But I'm just 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.400 I'm not arguing whether slavery was bad and whether or 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:41.880 not people have been marginalized. 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.120 And taken from their families and all those things. 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.600 I'm just saying right now, this time, specifically in America, 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.760 time is fucked up. Is way worse than where we 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.560 were last year on this day. 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:56.040 Sure, Okay, I'm just all that to say, yes, I know, 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:59.640 we probably it's very we shouldn't support this holiday as 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:02.200 it doesn't really pertain to us as Black Americans in 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.920 this country. It really never has. We shouldn't really support 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:06.560 any of this shit, but we do. And so I 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:10.520 understand not supporting and coming around and paying for barbecues. 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.280 But I also feel deeply that. 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.600 We are contributing to the economy period because we exist 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.040 here and obviously everyone can't just like up and leave, 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.240 including us, but we. 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:24.680 Add to the economy on substantially more on certain holidays. 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.680 If we spend the money on the fifth or on 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.720 the third, we're going to eat regardless. But what I 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:31.880 do think is like it is important to gather it 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.120 is important to find pleasure in these times. It is 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.400 important to find joy. It is important to find community 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.160 and friendship and do things together like that is going 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:44.760 to be literally the antidote to a lot of this heavy, heavy, 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:45.600 heavy vibe. 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:46.800 I agree. 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:48.160 I just think that we don't have to do it 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.040 all the day that is celebrating America. 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:51.480 I mean, we don't have to do on the day. 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:52.520 But I don't think if we do it on the 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.319 day before the day after, it's going to make much 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.920 of a difference. I don't think us refraining from experiencing 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.240 joy with each other is going to change the game 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.280 if we do it on Saturday instead of Friday. 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.280 I mean, I'm I'm, I'm I'm an agreement. 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:06.679 I'm going to show up. I mean, I feel the 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.440 same about Thanksgiving barbecue. 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.559 I just think that sometimes I just feel like America. 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:15.240 I feel like are some of our friends. I feel 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:19.800 like there is this like mass ignoring of what is 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.959 happening because certain people are not directly impacted. And like 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.840 I understand, like living in joy and pleasure and all 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.240 that shit. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:28.760 I get it. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:33.320 It's the antidote to pain and the antidote to just 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:34.199 all the negative stuff. 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:34.760 That's happening. 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.320 But I also think that turning a blind eye to 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:40.840 it and still contributing to a country that doesn't give 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:43.400 a fuck about us doesn't also do anything either. It 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.839 literally perpetuates the same thing over and over and over 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:46.520 and over again. 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:48.559 I don't think anybody, I don't think anyone in our 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:53.559 friend group has the I don't think most people have 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.040 the ability. I mean, obviously people do the ability to 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.119 turn a blind eye. I think sometimes there's an overwhelm 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.360 of what can I do to support? What can I 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:02.920 do to fight the system? What can I do to 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:05.840 get out? And if you if you submerge yourself in 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:10.360 the anxiety and the stress and the violence that exists it, 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:14.040 it's becomes overwhelming and then it becomes there. It becomes 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.880 h anxiety written like there is what if we don't 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:19.640 celebrate July fourth on Friday. 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:22.760 I'm not even saying I'm not saying playing into the anxiety. 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:25.440 I'm just saying not participating in certain things. That's that's 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.760 all I'm saying. I'm not saying to then go in 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.920 and like start feeling anxious, and well. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.640 That's what happens sometimes when you when you because I 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.800 do it I'm super impathed. I can overwhelm myself with 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:39.439 everything that's going on in the world, including like all 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:42.280 these fucking people getting ripped away from their families. Like 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.720 that shit is like it's disgusting, and it's very like 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.559 slave like and it's very triggering. And so if I submerge, 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:52.440 like completely go deep down that hole, then it becomes 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:53.880 it can become heavy just. 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:55.880 On a day to day basis, And so it is heavy. 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.520 Where where's the world where we have a plan and 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:03.680 a goal to exit this place, make change, do something, 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.800 and also exists in a way in a manner that's 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:10.920 healthy and that's still nourishing ourselves and our souls so 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:13.480 that we can we have the ability to find a 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:14.920 way to get the fuck out of this shit and 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.520 to make peace and to make a change in the world. 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.240 But sometimes I think because we have social media and 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:23.040 we have propaganda on the news, or we have select 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.760 you know, media being fed to us, I think sometimes 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.160 the plan is to overwhelm us with despair so that 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:34.520 we don't have the joy and the wherewithal to move forward. 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.520 I think sometimes it's intentional, like let me like because 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.120 that's what they want. They want you to be miserable. 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:40.440 They want you to be scared, they want you to 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.000 be in fear. So how do we go, like, what 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:44.760 is it that we could do to obviously not turn 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.480 a blind eye and be like it's not happening. It's 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:49.320 obviously happening, and many people are affected. Most of our 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:52.400 friends are brown or black, so I think people are 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.120 seeing it. But then it's like, well, how do we 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:58.760 keep the morale and the like the emotional health of 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.480 the mental health in our in our personal lives, within 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.440 our families in order to thrive and make it out 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:07.120 of this chapter of whatever the fuck we're in right now? 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.720 Like I feel like it's energetically we have to do both, 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.160 and it's difficult because it's heavy. 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:15.280 But how do we find balance in that? That's all 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:15.720 I'm saying. 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:20.440 Like I feel I'm the most conspiracy theorist, anti America 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.160 bitch that there is. My middle name is literally Asada. 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:24.480 I want to get the fuck out of here as 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:26.720 much as anybody. I don't even know why we're still here, 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.440 but I do feel like it is important to not 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:35.040 let that the negativity over overrun your life, because then 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:36.680 you will just be a slave to it. 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:39.960 I agree I don't think not celebrating on fourth of 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.680 July means that you're letting the negativity overrun your life. 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:46.640 I don't think that not celebrating Thanksgiving is like you saying, 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:49.920 because you don't really celebrate Thanksgiving either, really, right, So, 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:51.560 like picking and choosing the things that you want to 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.040 participate in is what makes you feel good. 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:54.320 Right. 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.000 So that's all I'm saying is like for some people 0:15:58.200 --> 0:15:59.760 they want to they can celebrate all of them and 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.120 it's fine, and it doesn't you know, it doesn't make 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.840 it money. Yeah, And for other peoples it does, like 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.760 it feels like, okay, like people are gettingripped away from 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.640 their family. Do I feel like celebrating Fourth of July? 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:11.880 No? But do I feel like hanging out with my friends? Sure? 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.560 I'm not saying one or the other can't exist. All 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.680 I'm saying is that like when we decide to continue 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:21.720 to align ourselves with these holidays on these days, injecting 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:23.640 money into a coconomy that doesn't give a fuck about us. 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:27.680 To me, that feels counterintuitive. I'm not saying don't celebrate 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.400 with your friends, don't be in pleasure, don't combat your 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.040 stress with connection and doing all those things. I'm just 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:34.680 saying that, that's all. 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:36.120 I'm saying, no, And I understand that. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:40.040 And unfortunately, we are on a daily regular basis because 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.880 rent is due today, We're having to feed our families 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:45.480 within this economy. We're having to feed the economy one 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:46.120 way or another. 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:46.680 It is. 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.160 It's inevitable. There's no way we can go around that. 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:52.560 So I'm saying like, yes, and. 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:53.960 But I'm saying, but you feed. 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:58.000 Yes, There's a difference between paying rent and spending four 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:01.320 hundred dollars at the grocery store for fourth of July. 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:05.439 There's a difference between making your family dinner tonight and 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:06.800 spending four hundred dollars at the grocery. 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:08.760 We're gonna have to eat dinner every day and spend. 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:11.359 Buying Tyson or whatever the fuck chickens you're gonna buy that. 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:13.399 I mean, I am in alignment with the people that 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:14.600 are literally oppressing us. 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.320 I am very I don't shop at the supermarket. I'm 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:19.280 not talking about you. 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:23.159 I'm just I'm not I'm not I'm not attacking you, 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:26.920 first of all, I'm talking about just overall in America. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:27.960 You're attacking me. 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.040 But I understand, like this is the I think this 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.879 is the world that we're all living in. It is 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.000 a double edged sword, you know what I mean. Like 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:38.000 there's also the understanding like people are off this day, 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:39.320 this is the one day they're off. This is what 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.040 people are waiting for. This is what like even as 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.399 Black Americans, Fourth of July is big for us. 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:44.399 Barbecuing is big for us. 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.119 But I'm just saying all I'm saying too, Okay, we 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:47.320 can get off this topic because I don't want to 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.720 go on this because this this I feel like somewhat 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:54.679 of that mindset could have. Also is why we have 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.800