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Speaker 1: Real talk. Creating content costs money.

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Speaker 2: That is a whole fact.

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Speaker 3: Dead ass and dead ass that costs the money part

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Speaker 3: was the part that you left out when we embarked

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Speaker 3: on this journey to.

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Speaker 2: Begin with dead ass, I might have changed my mind.

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Speaker 3: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 3: Voice and reading each other publicly as.

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Speaker 2: A form of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 4: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 4: li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 5: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 5: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 5: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 5: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 5: We about to take Philo talk to a whole new level.

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Speaker 3: Dead ads starts right now.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna take y'all all the way back over decade

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Speaker 5: twenty twelve.

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Speaker 1: This is a story I've never told before.

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Speaker 2: Really. Okay, So we were what ten years in.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we were ten years in.

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Speaker 5: We had just moved back from Michigan in two thousand

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Speaker 5: and nine. We were starting to get rolling with the

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Speaker 5: gym and stuff.

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Speaker 3: Jackson was born twenty eleven. Yes, okay, so there we.

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Speaker 1: Are, and.

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Speaker 5: We had started married to the gym. Remember married to

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Speaker 5: the gym?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 5: So the reason why I started marrying to the gym

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Speaker 5: was because Kay had just had Jackson.

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Speaker 1: She was trying to get her body back.

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Speaker 5: So I started filming training her and then we had

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Speaker 5: a bunch of other moms from the football program who

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Speaker 5: we're also training as well. Apparently some producers saw it

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Speaker 5: came to me and Kadeena were just like, hey, we

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Speaker 5: think you guys are great on camera. We would love

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Speaker 5: to help you guys create a show. So I was like, cool,

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Speaker 5: what's the show going to be about? They were like, well,

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Speaker 5: what's at stake? What's his steak for you guys? And

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Speaker 5: I was like, what do you mean. We just got married,

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Speaker 5: we have a son. We told me I have a

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Speaker 5: training program for kids. So they got excited about the

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Speaker 5: training program. I'm like, oh my, got the training program?

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Speaker 5: How many parents? So I told them how many kids?

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Speaker 5: How many parents? Like any single moms. Many of the

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Speaker 5: moms got beef, and then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,

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Speaker 5: how did we get here?

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Speaker 2: How did we get to beef?

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Speaker 5: The name of the show was called Married to the Gym, Like,

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Speaker 5: that's the segment is Married to the Gym. I thought

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Speaker 5: we were going to discuss, you know, what we can

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Speaker 5: do with love and work together and build together. Again,

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Speaker 5: there's not much his steak there, so I said, Okay, well,

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Speaker 5: if that's not the direction you want to go, then

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Speaker 5: we don't want to talk about the kids and their parents.

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Speaker 5: Their parents come to train with us, like their personal

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Speaker 5: lives are not on the table here. But I also

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Speaker 5: had another friend at the time who played in the NFL,

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Speaker 5: and we developed the show called d and Bow Tackle

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Speaker 5: the off season, and we filmed and they enjoyed it.

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Speaker 5: But at the time, my boy Bow was in the

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Speaker 5: middle of his football careers, Like, I can't commit to

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Speaker 5: doing a reality TV show.

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Speaker 2: Forgot about.

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Speaker 1: Season.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we had to dig up that trailer. It was

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Speaker 2: actually really good.

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Speaker 5: It actually was really good to go and it was

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Speaker 5: it was ultimately about Bow and I being remember the.

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Speaker 1: Show Robin Big.

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Speaker 5: It was like Robing Big, you know, Bo was six five,

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Speaker 5: two hundred and eighty pounds. I'm a smaller guy compared

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Speaker 5: to him, and we both met our wives in college.

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Speaker 5: We were building families at the time. They had three kids.

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Speaker 5: They had lost their son, Skylar, yes, and we had

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Speaker 5: one child. So it was just about college roommates who

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Speaker 5: were embarking on this different life. During the off season,

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Speaker 5: I had transitioned to not no longer doing NFL football,

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Speaker 5: but I was working as a broadcaster. So they loved

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Speaker 5: that idea. But Bo didn't want to do it. So

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Speaker 5: they were like, Oh, we'll figure something else out. You know,

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Speaker 5: you guys don't have any star power. That's pretty much

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Speaker 5: what it was. You guys don't have any star.

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Speaker 2: Par We don't have any drama or drama star.

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Speaker 1: Power and drama. Yes.

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Speaker 5: So at that time I started to realize that there

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Speaker 5: was a trend because every year a different producer and

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Speaker 5: the more we started to gain popularity on social media.

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Speaker 5: For example, the TIM shoot happened in twenty and thirteen,

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Speaker 5: I believe, And after the Tim shoot happened, we started

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Speaker 5: to get a little bit popular.

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Speaker 1: Another producer came.

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Speaker 5: This producer was much larger than the first two producers

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Speaker 5: and already had a show on television, and this producer

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Speaker 5: wanted to do a show with Kadeen and I. But

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Speaker 5: also the same thing, they didn't see the positive aspect.

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Speaker 5: Now remember we're going back to two thousand and twelve, thirteen.

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Speaker 3: They saw the positive, they just wanted negative with the no.

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Speaker 5: No, not that they couldn't see the positive, they couldn't

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Speaker 5: see the positive being a sellable trait for viewership.

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Speaker 1: That's what I meant when I said they couldn't see

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Speaker 1: the positive.

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Speaker 5: They couldn't see the positive being something that people wanted

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Speaker 5: to see. And I'm gonna be honest, I could tell.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I understand where they were coming from because

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Speaker 5: about sales at the end of the day, and you

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Speaker 5: have to sell to an audience that's going to watch

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Speaker 5: your TV show. So after those failed attempts at Kadeen

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Speaker 5: and I being on our own reality show, we started

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Speaker 5: to get phone calls from producers up until last year

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Speaker 5: that current shows who have ensemble casts want us on their.

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Speaker 1: TV show and we just don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: No thanks, we just don't want to do it. And

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Speaker 1: over the.

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Speaker 5: Last that was twenty twelve, eleven years, eleven years, Kadeen

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Speaker 5: and I finally sat down and said, you know what,

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Speaker 5: We're gonna do this shit ourselves.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna do it our way. So birth Patreon. All right,

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Speaker 3: karaoke time.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a karaoke song?

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Speaker 3: Because you said you have one, We do have one today,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like it's rather fitting because it can

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Speaker 3: apply in this circumstance. As we speak to you guys today,

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Speaker 3: we're thinking of ways to make it better. Right, We're

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Speaker 3: trying to make it better for y'all who have been

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Speaker 3: supporting and listening and watching us for so many years.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to make it better for de Valini, for

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Speaker 3: our team. So I'm a movement by myself, but I'm

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Speaker 3: a forge.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Wait how bad I go again by myself? You

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Speaker 2: make me better, You make me, You make me better.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to Neil, Shout out to Neil. Y'all make

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Speaker 2: us better.

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Speaker 3: That's a fact, because shoot, all the content y'all be requesting,

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Speaker 3: we're trying trying to find ways to get it to y'all.

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Speaker 3: We're trying to find ways to get it to you.

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Speaker 5: So we're going to take a quick break and then

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Speaker 5: when we get back, we are actually going to dive

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Speaker 5: into the business aspect of why we are creating our

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Speaker 5: own content and why it's important for us to own

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Speaker 5: our own content.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, why Patreon up next? Stick around?

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Speaker 2: Y'all?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: Baby plus me it equal better math? Now the song's

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Speaker 3: coming back.

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Speaker 1: Now, the songe's coming back in it. But you were

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Speaker 1: that's that forty y'alls.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't have caffeine this morning, so I'm going

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Speaker 3: to the chiropractor later and they told me that I'm

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Speaker 3: having a reassessment and I should avoid caffeine before coming in.

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Speaker 2: So if I'm talking in slow motion, it might be

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Speaker 2: that's why.

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Speaker 1: Right, cool, Let's go back to twenty twelve.

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Speaker 5: So I always had an idea for a sitcom or

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Speaker 5: reality show. Now, if you go back to twenty twelve,

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Speaker 5: that was during the time when those reality shows that

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Speaker 5: were hitting were.

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Speaker 1: Flavor of Love.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that was that time.

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Speaker 5: There wasn't a lot of scripted content that was on

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Speaker 5: television during that time in twenty twelve, and sitcoms and

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Speaker 5: dromedis weren't really a thing. So when I was pitching

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Speaker 5: the Elysis, people are like, I don't see.

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Speaker 3: It because we grew up in our generation on sitcom right,

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Speaker 3: And that was huge for us. We think of the

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Speaker 3: Martins of the world, the Cosby Shows, the Family Matters,

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Speaker 3: you know what was it on Friday Nights TJ. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: all the sitcom So to us it just kind of

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Speaker 3: made sense. Who were like, you know, a sitcom just

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Speaker 3: sounds like something the world needs right now.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 5: So I looked at my beautiful wife and it was

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Speaker 5: partly because it's something I wanted, but I knew it

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Speaker 5: was also something that she wanted. We wanted to be

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Speaker 5: able to showcase our abilities, but do it our own way. Now,

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Speaker 5: I know everyone here has heard the statement people sold

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Speaker 5: their soul.

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Speaker 1: Right, let's discuss what that means.

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Speaker 5: People often believe when they say you sold your soul,

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Speaker 5: that you actually had a meeting with someone who purchased

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Speaker 5: your soul, gave you money, and now you have to

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Speaker 5: just do exactly what they want you to do.

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Speaker 1: That's not really what the statement means.

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Speaker 5: What the statement means is that you, as a creator,

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Speaker 5: had an idea. Your idea was good, but someone came

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Speaker 5: along and said I can make your idea better, gave

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Speaker 5: you money, and said, now your idea is my idea,

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Speaker 5: but I need you to play out my idea because

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Speaker 5: I gave you the.

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Speaker 3: Money right the way I see fit. And a lot

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Speaker 3: of times they don't necessarily even have the vision per se.

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Speaker 3: They may just have the resources to be able to

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Speaker 3: bring that to fruition for you.

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Speaker 5: And in their defense, they're coming with the resources and

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Speaker 5: the investment, and most of the time they already have

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Speaker 5: the audience. Yes, So what they're saying to you is,

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Speaker 5: I'm willing to put you in front of my audience,

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Speaker 5: but you have to do what my audience wants, because

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Speaker 5: I know what my audience likes. Yes, And Kadeen and

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Speaker 5: I said, no, absolutely, that's not what we want to do.

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Speaker 5: There was one time in particular, this is when we

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Speaker 5: started doing brand partnerships.

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Speaker 1: If you guys have noticed, we don't do as.

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Speaker 5: Much brand partnerships anymore. This is why this was in

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Speaker 5: two thousand and seventeen, No. Twenty eighteen, the Graham had

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Speaker 5: blew up for us.

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Speaker 1: We had a meeting with a group.

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Speaker 5: I don't like to out people or say certain things,

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Speaker 5: because it could be a person in that.

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Speaker 1: Groups in that moment, in that moment who said something,

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Speaker 1: so it doesn't represent the group.

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Speaker 5: But I had a meeting with a group about a

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Speaker 5: brand partnership and they wanted us to do something for

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Speaker 5: I think it was Black History Month. We're a black family.

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Speaker 5: Have a meeting with them. And this is before Donora,

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Speaker 5: because if we were with Donora, Donora would have absolutely

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Speaker 5: obliterated them.

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Speaker 2: Would have been like laptops.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So this had to be twenty and eighteen.

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Speaker 5: It had to be February twenty eighteen, after we had

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Speaker 5: done Clawox, we had done Durasel.

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 5: I remember group comes to U and sayd hey, we

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Speaker 5: want to do a Black History Month thing. We have

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Speaker 5: an idea. They told me the idea. I said, okay,

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Speaker 5: this is cool, it's easy. Me and my family can

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Speaker 5: do this.

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Speaker 3: Can you?

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Speaker 5: Is there a way you can blacken it up? And

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Speaker 5: I said, what do you like? What do you what

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Speaker 5: do you mean?

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Speaker 1: Check this out? This is this is the this is

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Speaker 1: a real statement. Kadeen.

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Speaker 5: I know Kadeen has a long, stringy hair. Is she

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Speaker 5: willing to put on like a like a wig, like

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Speaker 5: an afro wig?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I said what, like a what? And they were dead serious.

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Speaker 5: And the fact that they felt like our family could

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Speaker 5: be blackified, like it's Black History Month, we need to

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Speaker 5: wear kin cloth and afro wigs or flat tops to

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Speaker 5: be considered black. Our blackness in itself in Brooklyn in

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Speaker 5: an apartment was not black enough.

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Speaker 3: We didn't look like your quote unquote as they said,

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Speaker 3: typical black family.

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Speaker 1: So then they questioned me, so is Kadeen is?

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Speaker 5: Is she black? I'm like, I'm like, are we really

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Speaker 5: having this conversation? And it was moments because that wasn't

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Speaker 5: the only moment. It was moments like that where they

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Speaker 5: wanted our black is to be a trope of blackness,

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Speaker 5: not just black because and I tried to explain a

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Speaker 5: couple of times black people are not monolithic, We sound,

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Speaker 5: we act differently, and they were.

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Speaker 1: Like, okay, well, well you know what, We'll circle back.

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Speaker 5: So when I'm getting the circle backs and I'm realizing, well,

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Speaker 5: there's a reason why.

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Speaker 1: They're not.

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Speaker 5: Willing to work in synergy with us, right, So I

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Speaker 5: started to ask questions and this is the answer as

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Speaker 5: to why we started Patreon. A large part of the

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Speaker 5: people in this country who watch shows like us shows

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Speaker 5: that what people to look like us don't look like us.

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Speaker 5: Middle American white people pretty much dominate the television industry

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Speaker 5: as far as who watches, especially if it's family content.

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Speaker 5: So what they want to do is either make us

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Speaker 5: whitewashed or make us a trope of blackness. This is

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Speaker 5: what I realized after going to all of these meetings

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Speaker 5: with producers and brands. They see us as a commodity,

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Speaker 5: but only in the way they view us, which means

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Speaker 5: we would either have to be the black family that

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Speaker 5: wears the polka dots with the ties and the suspenders

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Speaker 5: and be the whitewashed version of what blackness is, or

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Speaker 5: we have to be baggy clothes yo yo fro afrocentric,

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Speaker 5: like they only see tropes and tropes of not only blackness,

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Speaker 5: tropes of whiteness and tropes of blackness because they feel like, hey,

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Speaker 5: we got the audience.

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Speaker 1: We know what our audience wants to see.

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Speaker 5: And Kadein and I made a decision that, well, we

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Speaker 5: know our audience and we want to make content.

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Speaker 1: For our audience, not for your audience.

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Speaker 5: We want to make content for the audience that has

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Speaker 5: supported us since we started. And I'm not talking about

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Speaker 5: starting in twenty seventeen. I'm talking about twenty twelve. Because

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Speaker 5: we had a Facebook page that was doing really well

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Speaker 5: with Married to the Gym, and we were getting a

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Speaker 5: hunt of thousands of views in twenty twelve, before Instagram

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Speaker 5: even became a thing. The first video ever did that

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Speaker 5: when viral was a video of k pushing the sled

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Speaker 5: and me pushing the sled behind it and me slapping

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Speaker 5: on it. But and it got like one hundred and

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Speaker 5: thirty thousand views on Facebook at the time, which was

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Speaker 5: like unheard of. But people just loved to see me

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Speaker 5: supporting my wife, my wife working hard, and then a

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Speaker 5: little baby running on.

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Speaker 1: The field while we were doing what we were doing.

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Speaker 5: And it reminded me of The Fresh Prince and The

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Speaker 5: Cosby Show because at the time The Cosby Show and

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Speaker 5: The Fresh Prince wasn't the version of blackness they were

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Speaker 5: used to seeing. Think about the seventies, the greatest show

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Speaker 5: coming out the seventies was Good Times, right, and then

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Speaker 5: it was Georgia Waisey's The Jeffersonsons, and it was just

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Speaker 5: about struggle.

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Speaker 1: It was like black people struggle. All black people do

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Speaker 1: is struggle.

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Speaker 5: I wasn't a Good Times god, but I know the

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Speaker 5: father on Good Times struggled keeping a job, you know,

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Speaker 5: and I think the mom was the one always work

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Speaker 5: and she was always tired. But the show did really well.

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Speaker 5: So when the Cosby Show came out. He's a doctor,

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Speaker 5: the wife is a lawyer. They got five kids. The

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Speaker 5: kids don't really get in the type of trouble that

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Speaker 5: you expect black kids living in Brooklyn to get into.

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Speaker 5: At first, it was just like, I don't know how

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Speaker 5: real it is, but it became a phenomenon because that

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Speaker 5: version of what black looks like wasn't just black.

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Speaker 2: It related to everything everybody.

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Speaker 3: The first ontional too, I think, I mean, I remember

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Speaker 3: your dad saying that he didn't like The Cosby Show

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Speaker 3: for that reason.

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Speaker 2: He's like, it's not real. It was a show, Like really,

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Speaker 2: my dad said that, and.

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Speaker 3: He said that as a black man. So I guess

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Speaker 3: it really depends on the audience that you're trying to

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Speaker 3: cater to. But just start to circle back with the

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Speaker 3: brand deals and stuff like that. You know, even just

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Speaker 3: the brand partnerships that I had gotten or you had

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Speaker 3: gotten through other companies were far and few in between,

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Speaker 3: because we also in creating content and just in promoting

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Speaker 3: other brands, we were really, really and we still are

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Speaker 3: very very adamant about only partnering with people who we

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Speaker 3: believe in and people who support us. Because what we

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Speaker 3: also found was that some brands when they came along,

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Speaker 3: they come to you because they enjoy your content. They

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Speaker 3: enjoy the fact that you do have an audience who

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Speaker 3: is tried and trusted, but also in them wanting you

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Speaker 3: to produce content. They would sometimes circle back now with

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Speaker 3: feedback about how you can alter your content to then

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Speaker 3: make it in their mind, more digestible or more appetizing

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Speaker 3: to the viewer. And I'm just like, you came to

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Speaker 3: me for a reason, then clearly I know what I'm

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Speaker 3: doing when it comes to my content and my audience.

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Speaker 3: Why won't you just let me do what you're paying

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Speaker 3: me to do? Essentially, But I'd say that to say,

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Speaker 3: that's another avenue as to why Devaleni decided, like, we're

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Speaker 3: just really only going to do what we want to

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Speaker 3: do in this.

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Speaker 2: Social media space.

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Speaker 3: So if you see something come out on our page,

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Speaker 3: if we pose something, you know that it's coming directly

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Speaker 3: from Devalini and not from any other source who has

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Speaker 3: coursed us in doing it.

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Speaker 5: That also takes me to another part when it comes

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Speaker 5: to our I don't like saying following, but our supporters.

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Speaker 5: I had a producer say, you have great numbers, but

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Speaker 5: your supporters don't add monetary value. Pretty much was telling

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Speaker 5: me black people won't spend money on stuff.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty much what he was saying.

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Speaker 5: Little does he know that our audience isn't only black, right,

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Speaker 5: Our audience is a rainbow of colors.

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Speaker 1: Ages, genders.

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Speaker 5: And the truth is they look at us and just assume, oh,

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Speaker 5: that's a young black couple. They got young black people.

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Speaker 5: So when we create content, they think they're teaching us

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Speaker 5: how to create content for just that demographic, when we're

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Speaker 5: actually creating content for a multi generational audience that has

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Speaker 5: a bunch of different races and genders. So when Kadeina

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Speaker 5: and I start to sit down and think, you know what,

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Speaker 5: why don't we just do high quality content ourselves, Like

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Speaker 5: we don't really need them. Okay, it's gonna cast some cameras,

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Speaker 5: it's going to do Okay, fine.

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Speaker 2: We'll make the investment.

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Speaker 5: So we made the investment. And once we made the investment,

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Speaker 5: we realize like, wow, like this this is expensive, Like

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Speaker 5: isn't it isn't easy? You know, you put people on salary.

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Speaker 5: We have producer on salary, we have camera operator on salary,

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Speaker 5: we have error on salary. We you know, you guys

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Speaker 5: know Josh and Matt and Treble. They work with us

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Speaker 5: directly practically every single day. I think it is every

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Speaker 5: single day, right, Josh, Josh. We're on the phone like

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Speaker 5: every single day, every single day to sure create content. Now,

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Speaker 5: when you're doing this type of work, to create content,

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Speaker 5: you're creating any economy, not only for yourself, but for

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Speaker 5: the people who work with you. We like to say

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Speaker 5: people work with us because we don't see it as

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Speaker 5: an employee.

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Speaker 1: We see everyone that we work with as partners, team members.

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Speaker 5: Now, typically you would put out content hope that a

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Speaker 5: producer or a production company or network will come to

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Speaker 5: you and say, here's a budget create the content. Patreon

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Speaker 5: allows us to use the budget that we've been able

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Speaker 5: to amass through memberships to create our own content the

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Speaker 5: same way. That's why when you're looking at the content

401
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Speaker 5: now you're saying this looks like a reality show.

402
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Speaker 2: To pay people.

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Speaker 1: We have the same cameras.

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Speaker 5: We have, the mics, they invest the time. We're able

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Speaker 5: to do everything the way we want to. But here's

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Speaker 5: the most important part. We can feel comfortable with the

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Speaker 5: people we love and we know around our children. Because

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Speaker 5: since we do family content, it is difficult to ask

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Speaker 5: your eleven at the time six five and one year

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Speaker 5: old to get in front of the camera and be

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Speaker 5: themselves with people they don't don't and that was another

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Speaker 5: issue for us. I was like, I'm not going to

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Speaker 5: have people I don't know around my kids. Oh well,

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Speaker 5: we don't have to do with the house. We can

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Speaker 5: do it at a location that's not.

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Speaker 2: Authentic to who we are exactly.

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Speaker 5: People want to see who we want to share who

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Speaker 5: we are and how we go about doing it the

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Speaker 5: most authentic way possible with the people our children trust

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Speaker 5: as well.

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Speaker 3: And it's crazy that you say the most authentic way

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Speaker 3: with the people we trust and you say all that.

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Speaker 2: It makes me think of.

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Speaker 3: A message I got from someone. Every now and again,

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Speaker 3: I may see a DM it's hard because I get

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Speaker 3: so many. But this one person kept messaging about Patreon

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Speaker 3: and essentially said in her message, I can't believe you

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Speaker 3: and Deval have gotten so Hollywood that now y'all are

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Speaker 3: requiring people to sign up to see y'all's videos when

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Speaker 3: y'all been doing this for free. Yeah, man, listen the

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Speaker 3: fumes that came out of my ears. Yeah, she was pissed'

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Speaker 3: She was pissed because I'm like, first of all, don't

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Speaker 3: throw in the whole. You and Deval have gotten so

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Speaker 3: Hollywood bullshit, Like stop. I feel like if anybody who

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Speaker 3: really knows us know the people who support us, the

436
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 3: people who work with us, Devaleni are the same old

437
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Speaker 3: as Valenkadeen since we lived on New York Avenue, and a.

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Speaker 5: Lot of times we get in trouble for it, from DeNora,

439
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 5: from our manager, from venues, They're like, you can't just

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00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 5: walk in and be like like, you can't just do

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Speaker 5: things like that right exactly.

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Speaker 3: You need to have this, you need to have security,

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00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 3: you need to have call ahead, you need to have that.

444
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 3: And we just kind of just like say, well, I

445
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 3: mean we literally are moving like the same people. Of

446
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,199
Speaker 3: course when we have the kids and stuff, they're different,

447
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 3: you know, and depending on the spaces that we're in,

448
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 3: I get it, But I say that to say like,

449
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: I feel like, if anything, Deval and I are even

450
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 3: more grounded and who we are and who we want

451
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 3: to be and who we portray ourselves to be because

452
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 3: we are who we are. So the fact that this

453
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 3: person is spewing this whole y'all became so Hollywood now,

454
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 3: y'all making us pay.

455
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 2: Have you not been getting content for free for the

456
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 2: past seven.

457
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 1: Years and they still get content?

458
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: And you still get content for free because de VAL's

459
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: still doing this hole in his phone up getting videos.

460
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: I'm still posting content on my end. I'm still posting

461
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 3: stories every day. There's a ton of free content that's

462
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 3: there and it's readily available. There's YouTube, there's Facebook, there's

463
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 3: so many different platforms.

464
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 5: Can you explain or would you like me to explain

465
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,159
Speaker 5: the difference in the content that we are creating on

466
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 5: social media and on Patreon?

467
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: Now, go ahead, I mean Deval take the reins on

468
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 3: this because he is really the mastermind behind how we

469
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 3: roll out our content, and I just be like where

470
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: you want me to be because when.

471
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 2: To say action what I got to post today?

472
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: But you can go ahead and break it down just

473
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 3: so it's digestible for people listening, because we thought this

474
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 3: episode was important for people to understand why we decided

475
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,679
Speaker 3: to even do something that was subscription based.

476
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: Right.

477
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 5: So the biggest thing is there are different types of content.

478
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 5: When I picked my phone up, and yes, everybody's phone

479
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 5: got four K and stuff like that, I do pick

480
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 5: it up and I put that content on social media.

481
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 5: But one thing Josh and I realized, because Josh and

482
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 5: I had started talking about doing higher quality content I

483
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 5: believe in twenty and nineteen when we first moved to California,

484
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 5: was that when I was doing the vlogs on YouTube,

485
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 5: right like twenty five minute vlogs, someone on forty five

486
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 5: minute blogs, the average viewership was less than six minutes,

487
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 5: you see. So it was like, I'm creating content and

488
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 5: I'm putting hours into it and it's not being watched

489
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 5: because people who watch on YouTube are not going to

490
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,119
Speaker 5: YouTube for long form content. They go to YouTube or

491
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 5: Instagram or Facebook or Twitter for short form content little bytes.

492
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: Remember Quibi quick bites.

493
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 5: People go to those platforms for quick bites because they

494
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 5: want to watch something and move on. So for me,

495
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 5: I was like, dang, I want to produce longer form content,

496
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 5: but it's not being consumed in its totality. Then we

497
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 5: partner with Patreon because Patreon is when someone makes a decision,

498
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 5: they say, you know what I'm going to spend, And

499
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 5: for us, we made the price extremely low. The price

500
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 5: is five dollars a month, and the reason why it's

501
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 5: five dollars a month is because it's less than a

502
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 5: quarter of a day.

503
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: I never wanted to charge people.

504
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 3: You actually donor was honest for a while about Patreon.

505
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: Months and I was like no, no to charge.

506
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 5: I was like, no, I don't want to charge people

507
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 5: because we've been giving them content for free. But then

508
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 5: I actually started to think about the economy I could

509
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 5: create using the resources.

510
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm always on.

511
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 5: Dead Ass podcast talking about group economics.

512
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: How can we support each other?

513
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 5: How can we support our friends if we all pool

514
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 5: our resources? Right, Patreon is just another form of group economics.

515
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 1: Right.

516
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 5: I wanted Josh and I wanted Matt to be here

517
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 5: full time. How can I ask them to quit doing

518
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 5: what they're doing if I'm not going to replace that

519
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 5: salary to be able to work with us, I can't

520
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 5: ask for favors. No, you get to a point in

521
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 5: your life where asking people for favors and to sacrifice

522
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 5: for their family so you can gain or you can

523
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 5: provide some of the other people, it is just not fair.

524
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 1: It's not okay. So for me, it was like, you

525
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: know what, let me utilize this.

526
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 5: Way to create an economy so that I can create

527
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 5: the type of content I want to create, long form

528
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 5: high quality content, but also allow my friends to provide

529
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 5: for their families as well. Like, that's really what this

530
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 5: whole Patreon thing is about.

531
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: It's us taking away the network.

532
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 5: You don't got to go to TBS to watch US.

533
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 5: You don't got to go to ABC, you don't got

534
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 5: to go to Hulu or Netflix or HBO. No, you

535
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 5: pay a subscription to those networks to watch long form content.

536
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: And half the time you paid a subscription and you're like,

537
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 1: I don't even.

538
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: Even watch it.

539
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 3: I literally just last night went into my Apple settings

540
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 3: and I was just like, what subscriptions do I even

541
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,959
Speaker 3: have right now? Because I was looking at the American

542
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 3: Express because since I'm so phisically responsible now, y'all, I

543
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 3: was looking at all these different things coming out, and

544
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 3: I'm just like, I don't even know I still had this.

545
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 3: I don't even know I still had this membership because

546
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 3: you just sign up for stuff and then you just

547
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 3: kind of don't watch, or you watch maybe for one show.

548
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 3: And I was going to say something to piggyback off

549
00:25:55,080 --> 00:26:00,439
Speaker 3: of what you said about Patreon and stuff, But for us,

550
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 3: I think the most important part, at least for me,

551
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 3: is that we're able to now remove the outside noise.

552
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 3: We're able to remove any network, any other outside influence,

553
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: and literally we do what we want. I think the

554
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 3: freedom and the autonomy that we have over Patreon is

555
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 3: what excites us the most because now I feel like

556
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 3: we're all invested, like the entire team is really sold

557
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 3: on this idea because we're enjoying creating this content. It

558
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 3: doesn't feel like work. It doesn't when Matt pops up

559
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 3: on a random Wednesday and catches just something that happens

560
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 3: to happen in the house that was funny. That's that's

561
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 3: essentially what we wanted and how we foresaw a reality

562
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 3: show or even a sitcom rolling out with us, just

563
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,640
Speaker 3: watching us in our natural setting and the funny things

564
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 3: that happen on a daily basis.

565
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 2: And you know the even better part about it, y'all,

566
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: Patreon is optional.

567
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 3: Nobody is holding the gun to your head to say

568
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 3: you have to sign up for it five dollars a month.

569
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 2: You don't have to.

570
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: You don't have to.

571
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,719
Speaker 3: But if you don't, and we don't feel a way,

572
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 3: if you don't want to work, if you can't, and

573
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 3: some people can't afford the five thousand a month, I

574
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 3: undergand that and not really understand that. And the people

575
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 3: who do subscribe and rock with us, we love y'all

576
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 3: for that. We're looking to do even more things, doing

577
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 3: some different lives. You're getting exclusive access first DIBs to

578
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 3: live shows that we have coming up. So there's so

579
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 3: many perks involved with being Patreon members. But again, it's

580
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 3: the option to do it, and no one's forcing anyone

581
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 3: to do anything.

582
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 5: Yes, but I did feel it was important to talk

583
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 5: to because we have so many people who are also

584
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 5: creators or are also actors or artists who are who asked, like, dout,

585
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 5: how do I get started? And for me, Patreon is

586
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 5: a way to see who really truly supports you. Yeah, yeah,

587
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 5: you know, like if you really think about it, five

588
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 5: dollars a month, less than a quarter a day. There

589
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 5: are some people who say to me, Hey, Deville, how

590
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,719
Speaker 5: can I support you guys? You know, like that really

591
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,880
Speaker 5: DMS be like, yo, I love what you guys do.

592
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 5: How could I support you guys? Yeah, I'm like, join Patreon, man,

593
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 5: just just join Patreon. Be a part of the Patreon.

594
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 5: The biggest thing with Patreon. Also, please comment and interact

595
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 5: so we can know how you guys feel.

596
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: About the content for.

597
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: Sure, because this is still kind of new to us.

598
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: We're still kind of fair very new.

599
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 5: Josh has been running the Patreon. He goes on the

600
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,959
Speaker 5: Patreon ever, he's addicted to Patreon, Like, he goes on

601
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 5: to make sure because because you guys who pay the

602
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 5: five dollars a month, your opinions about what we post

603
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 5: and what we do matter matter. Like Josh and DeNora

604
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 5: came to us two weeks ago and was just like,

605
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,199
Speaker 5: I think you guys should do some lives And I

606
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 5: was like, yeah, I know, we could do lives and

607
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 5: it was like, yeah, you can do lives that you

608
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 5: can be more interactive with your audience. So if you

609
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 5: post a piece of content, you can then have a

610
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 5: formal discussion on the Patreon live about the content.

611
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, Yo, that's dope.

612
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 5: So we could actually do a show, do an after show,

613
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,040
Speaker 5: and then have an audience reacting after show when it

614
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 5: comes out. Like, to me, that's the most fireway to

615
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 5: build an audience, to understand what your audience wants to see.

616
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: And I don't know if y'all notice, but I don't

617
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: reply in comments.

618
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 5: That don't mean I don't read comments because I want

619
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 5: to learn what did they like about this? What did

620
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 5: they not like about this? Now, just because you leave

621
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 5: a comment, don't mean I'm going to follow you. I

622
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 5: get thousands of comments every day. One person says I

623
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 5: wish I would put more longer content on YouTube. It's

624
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 5: not going to make me put longer content on YouTube

625
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 5: because the analytics show me that the vast majority of

626
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,719
Speaker 5: people who watch on YouTube watch short form content.

627
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: So, yes, I do read the comments.

628
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 5: I do appreciate you, guy, I just don't respond because

629
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 5: I don't want anyone else to feel like their comment

630
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 5: is not important. Because once I start replying, then I

631
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,719
Speaker 5: don't reply to someone. It's like, oh, he only replies

632
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 5: to these type of people. It's like, no, that's not

633
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 5: the case. I only have a couple of seconds to

634
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 5: reply because I'm making content, all right, So it's important

635
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 5: for people to understand and how we decide what content

636
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 5: we're going to create.

637
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: Right.

638
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 5: So, for example, on Patreon, we say long form content.

639
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 5: Anything over seven minutes is considered long form content. Right,

640
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 5: So our Patreon videos are typically anywhere between nine to

641
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 5: fifteen minutes.

642
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: Right.

643
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 5: We try to keep it shorter than fifteen minutes, mainly

644
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 5: because even on Patreon. When you see how much people watch,

645
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 5: most people don't watch Patreon for thirty to forty minutes.

646
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 5: They watch it for fifteen minutes. But that's considered long

647
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 5: form content.

648
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: And how many times are we dropping a week?

649
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: Okay, so y'all want to laugh? Right once again?

650
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 6: This is.

651
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 5: Kadeen and I and our team over delivering. When we

652
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 5: did our partnership with Patreon, they said we were required

653
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 5: to drop two pieces of content per month.

654
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: Two pieces of content.

655
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 2: Per month at Patreon game. How much y'all been ghee?

656
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: Well, I can tell you this already.

657
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 5: We do the podcast every week, right, forty five minutes

658
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 5: to an hour, right, and the after show. So that's

659
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 5: eight pieces of content right there. We got DEVOSMANK twelve

660
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 5: pieces of content. We got All Day K sixteen pieces

661
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 5: of content.

662
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 2: Ever say, yeah, I've been all day? Can in it?

663
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 3: You have?

664
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: Okay?

665
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 3: Right?

666
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 6: For the record, we're not complaining because we actually enjoy

667
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 6: making this content, Like it feels good to get ready

668
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 6: for school in the morning and watch my kids do it.

669
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 5: And there's a camera somewhere and no one knows where

670
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 5: the camera is, so the kids are acting by themselves.

671
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: But then when we look at the camp.

672
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 5: When we look at the content, we can say that

673
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 5: looks like a traditional American family getting ready for school

674
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 5: in the morning. They're having fun, the kids are disciplined,

675
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 5: they're working hard than afterwards mom and dad is going

676
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 5: off and doing whatever they do.

677
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: I think that's the realest sitcom slash reality version of

678
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: a show or of the ellises that you're going to

679
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: get is definitely going to be on our Patreon page.

680
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 3: And just so you know, like content creators in general,

681
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 3: I know it's become a very convoluted market because everyone's

682
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 3: an influencer, everyone's doing content. There's TikTok now, which is

683
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: even shorter content that people are just really really buying

684
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: into for sake of for the sake of sounding like

685
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 3: a big, aged, hardbacked old lady. I'm still trying to

686
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 3: figure out TikTok my damn self. But let's look at

687
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 3: some facts and stats when it comes to creators, because

688
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 3: we literally are like full time creators and with the

689
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: strike happening now and Deval and I not doing any work,

690
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 3: no auditions coming in, it really is given us time

691
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 3: to focus on Patreon and doing this content creating. So

692
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 3: it kind of you know, God works in mysterious ways,

693
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: and this has definitely helped us when it came to listen.

694
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 5: To these facts that K is about to tell you,

695
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 5: because for all you people who are listening, who are

696
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 5: aspiring creators, are creating, budding creators, listen to these stats

697
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 5: so you can understand about staying ahead of the curve,

698
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 5: which is another a podcast we're going to talk about

699
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 5: staying ahead of the curves for sure.

700
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 3: Full time creators use an average of three point four

701
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: channels for audience engagements.

702
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 5: So that's like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Patreon, YouTube. That's

703
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 5: that's six right there that I can already think of,

704
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 5: but there's so many, so.

705
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 2: Many more exactly.

706
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 3: AD revenue for creators has declined by thirty three percent

707
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: since COVID, pushing creators to do more brand collaborations, join

708
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 3: other platforms, and create more revenue outside of their regular streams,

709
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 3: which now is down even more brand collaborations.

710
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 5: Ad revenue before they used to run ads through your

711
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 5: content and they had to pay people. Now, I know

712
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 5: everyone's been been looking at or listening to singers or

713
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 5: rappers saying, hey, I don't own my publishing and then

714
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 5: told me I.

715
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:49,959
Speaker 1: Was supposed to get paid through Xyz.

716
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 5: I'm not getting paid as much as I should because

717
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 5: now with streaming, you have to have something like a

718
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 5: million streams to make a dollar.

719
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: It's insane.

720
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: It's insane.

721
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: They now up the anties like so much.

722
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 5: It's the same thing for video creators, Like in order

723
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 5: for you to make money off of your streams or

724
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 5: quote unquote off of your views, you have to have

725
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 5: like hundreds of thousands of views just to get a dollar.

726
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 5: That's it, which is making it more difficult for people

727
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 5: to make money.

728
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 2: To add a lot of money, yep.

729
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 3: And then brand partnerships, a lot of these brands are like,

730
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 3: we don't even have the budget to be able to

731
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,439
Speaker 3: engage you in a partnership or be able to give

732
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 3: you what you are worth or what you demand or

733
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 3: require to engage. So brand partnerships are also down. I

734
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 3: can say that for myself. Even just as of this year,

735
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 3: sixty three percent of the audience have tipped their favorite

736
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 3: creators at least once.

737
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 2: I didn't even know you could tip your creator on TikTok.

738
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: It's a thing where you can put tips on.

739
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 5: Oh really when people go live, Because if you think

740
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 5: about it right, And if you just think about creators,

741
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 5: you go to your phone to be entertained.

742
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: Right, If you walk by.

743
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 5: In a subway and someone's playing the drums or someone

744
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 5: to you know, tap dance, and you tip them like, oh,

745
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 5: you entertained me. You know what I'm saying, thank you

746
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 5: for entertaining, right. Creators just are the same ways they're entertainers.

747
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 5: They're just a different form of entertainment because as technology advances,

748
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 5: there's different ways and mediums. I guess there weren't always TVs.

749
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 5: There weren't always movie things, you know, there's always ways

750
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 5: to Uh.

751
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's dope because I do sometimes see

752
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 3: people just like, oh, you know, creators always expect for

753
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 3: you to pay for this or subscribe for that, And

754
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 3: I'm just like, guys, how like this is people taking

755
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 3: their time out of their day to engage you.

756
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: Why not? So I think that's a cool idea.

757
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:33,439
Speaker 3: Twenty four million estimated monthly payouts on Patreon, that's cool.

758
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 2: We ain't get twenty four.

759
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: Million dollars, so y'all know that's not for us, but

760
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,959
Speaker 3: it's good to know that that's what Patreon is doing

761
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 3: for folks. The average Patreon user makes forty one percent

762
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 3: of their income. On Patreon, fifteen percent of consumers are

763
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 3: subscribed to a creator's membership website. So like, is that

764
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 3: like but Instagram like people have subscriptions now or just

765
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 3: random things like that.

766
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 5: I mean, well, there's so many different memberships, Like you

767
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 5: can have a membership to Instagram, but people also have

768
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 5: their own website.

769
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: Oh you know coadean dot com member.

770
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

771
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 3: And ninety seven point five percent of YouTubers do not

772
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: make enough to reach the US poverty line.

773
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 2: You heard that.

774
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:21,240
Speaker 3: Ninety seven point five percent don't even make that much.

775
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,959
Speaker 5: And I think that's important because when I look at

776
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 5: creators or influencers, people typically look at the top one percent.

777
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: They say everybody.

778
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 5: Same thing with athletes, right, everybody's not making with Lebron

779
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 5: James makes. Everybody doesn't make with Lionel Messi makes. Everybody

780
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 5: doesn't make with Tom Hanks makes. As an actor, you know,

781
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 5: like there are tiers to everything, and ninety percent of

782
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 5: the people that you watch on television doing the things

783
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,280
Speaker 5: they do don't make enough money to just do that solely.

784
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 5: Most actors have another job, the job, right. Most athletes

785
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 5: who play basketball overseas still do something else because they

786
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 5: don't make enough money just playing basketball.

787
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: Same thing with people playing football leagues.

788
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 5: So I think it's important for people to understand when

789
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 5: you look at entertainers, don't just look at your favorite

790
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 5: entertainers at the highest and think that all entertainers make millions.

791
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 5: Entertainers are hustling just like everyone else, you know. So

792
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 5: we just wanted to make sure that you guys understood

793
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 5: that this isn't a money grab, especially from us like

794
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 5: the elisis. This is not a money grab. I will

795
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 5: be honest and tell you I have four or five

796
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 5: streams of revenue. I don't rely on Patreon. I also

797
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 5: don't rely on acting, I don't rely on real estate.

798
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 2: We really don't rely on.

799
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: You know, and that's just part of it. It's just

800
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: in a different stream of revenue.

801
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 5: So we can create an economy not for ourselves only,

802
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 5: but also for our friends who are also creator so

803
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,720
Speaker 5: we can do something and build together. Because I watched

804
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 5: one of the greatest entrepreneurs and entertainers do that, and

805
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 5: that was Tyler Perryler. You can say what you want

806
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 5: to say about Tyler Floyd Mayweather a jay Z because

807
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 5: people there's always detractors, but these are men who did

808
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 5: it their way, built within their audience, were told no

809
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 5: so many times and to their so who they are

810
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 5: and their audience, and now look at them. So those

811
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 5: those are the guys that I look up to and

812
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 5: I say, you know, I want to create and own

813
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 5: my own.

814
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: And another one is easter Ray.

815
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 5: Like Easter Ray, like she's killing she started owning her own,

816
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 5: starting on YouTube, creating her own content. She went a

817
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 5: different way because Patreon didn't exist, but she got that

818
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 5: early bag from HBO and she's been creating ever since.

819
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 5: Like these are the people that I'm looking up to

820
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 5: be able to create and do it on my terms.

821
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 3: For sure, And it's just that much sweeter when you're

822
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 3: able to do it and grow and rise and reach

823
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 3: another level with the people who have been with you

824
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 3: down at the bottom.

825
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:54,839
Speaker 2: Right.

826
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: So like you guys know, Josh and Matt, we've known

827
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 3: for over decade now, Like these are people who we

828
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 3: were just like, you know, we're going to build and

829
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 3: grow and do this together. And we really hope that

830
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 3: this episode just brought some clarity to anybody who might

831
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 3: have been on the fence about you know, joining.

832
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 2: Patreon, or wondering why Patreon.

833
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 3: Was a thing, or thinking like, oh my god, the

834
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 3: Ellis has given us so much content already, what makes

835
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 3: Patreon different or why is it a value to us

836
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 3: and our family and our team. We hope that this

837
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 3: provided some clarity for you guys, and then I hope

838
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 3: you join because we'd love to see you on that

839
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 3: side and continue to deliver great content, high quality and

840
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 3: more of the Ellis's.

841
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 5: And we plan on evolving and as life changes and

842
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 5: things can happen, we still want to have access to

843
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 5: the people who've helped us build. Like I know for

844
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 5: a fact, you know speaking to Tyler that he still

845
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 5: has the emails from the people that started when he

846
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 5: was just doing place. Remember when he was doing the

847
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 5: quote unquote Chitlin Circuit. Yes, and it became no one

848
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 5: would go into his shows. He was doing shows, no

849
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 5: one was showing up, but he kept doing them. And

850
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 5: now his audience is millions of people that he writes directly.

851
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 5: So I want to continue to evolve the Lass and

852
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 5: us create contents specifically for for our people.

853
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 3: Yes, for you. All right, y'all, We're going to take

854
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 3: a quick break and pay some bills We'll get back

855
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 3: into listener letters after this break, so stick around. All right, y'all,

856
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 3: we're back. Let's jump into this first listener letter. Hey,

857
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 3: I really enjoyed listening to y'all's podcasts and really admire

858
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 3: you guys as a marriage. I love that I can

859
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 3: listen to a podcast and that I can get a

860
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 3: male and female perspective.

861
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 2: Love that we.

862
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: Hope that that we continue to do it for you guys. Yes,

863
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 3: I just turned twenty one this year. My boyfriend and

864
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 3: I were very toxic in our relationship for a while.

865
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 3: We both did some things and said some things that

866
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 3: we should never done or said. He came from a

867
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 3: household where being toxic wasn't normal and it shouldn't be.

868
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 3: But I came from a household where my family was

869
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 3: very toxic and a lot of that toxicity was embedded

870
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 3: into me. I didn't realize how toxic I was, or

871
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 3: how toxic I have made the relationship and him until

872
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 3: this year, when I distanced myself from my family. Our

873
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,720
Speaker 3: relationship has gotten better. When I've distanced myself from my family.

874
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 3: How can I balance not trying to be toxic with

875
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 3: having such a toxic family? And what are some things

876
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 3: that I can do that will help me leave that

877
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 3: toxic mindset where it's at and really help our relationship

878
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 3: bounce back from our toxic past. It's a lot of

879
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 3: toxic girl. I guess she must have been really, really toxic.

880
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 2: Well.

881
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 3: I think the first thing is you've acknowledged, yeah, the

882
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 3: source of this. You acknowledge the source of it. You're

883
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 3: taking accountability for the fact that you are toxic and

884
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 3: you have been within your relationship. I think that's normal,

885
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 3: not normal per se, but just having continued conversation with

886
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 3: your boyfriend to find out the things that maybe you've

887
00:41:56,360 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 3: done in the past, unpacking those toxic traits, unpacking what

888
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 3: transpired within your relationship in terms of arguments or discussions

889
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 3: or things that you guys have been through, the things

890
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 3: that you said that you never should have said, or

891
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 3: did that you never did. If you'll unpack those things

892
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 3: and just know that you can't do them again, I

893
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: think that's part of the first steps in making sure

894
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,720
Speaker 3: that you're kind of healing from this, and then maybe

895
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 3: seeing what caused the toxicity within your family. You know,

896
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 3: therapy is one way to really unpack your past, the

897
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 3: way you grew up, the things that are triggers for you.

898
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: That might be a good way to start.

899
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: I agree.

900
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 5: I think therapy is very important. First of all, I

901
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 5: think you've covered everything. The fact that she acknowledged it

902
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 5: makes the most sense. You know, she knows what it is.

903
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 5: The only thing I think that you might have missed

904
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 5: is learn your family history, you know, before you go

905
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 5: to therapy. I think it's important for you to speak

906
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 5: to your mom and your dad, or your mom, if

907
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 5: it's just your mom or your dad, speak to your grandparents.

908
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 5: I started to understand my family and I no longer

909
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 5: say my family's toxic, because I think that that's just

910
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 5: a word that people use now because they don't know

911
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 5: how to say. You have to understand what triggers your

912
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 5: family have, right, and what traumas your family have. Triggers

913
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 5: and trauma don't always necessarily mean that you're toxic. It

914
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 5: just means you don't know how to respond any other

915
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,760
Speaker 5: way other than what you saw. Yeah, right, And once

916
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,919
Speaker 5: you can acknowledge that, you know what my grandmother did

917
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,760
Speaker 5: this because that was her past, and she taught my mom,

918
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 5: and then my mom saw XYZ. So now oh she

919
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 5: married my dad. Oh well, my dad's mom and dad.

920
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,760
Speaker 5: That's why they respond, oh, now.

921
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: I get it, man.

922
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 5: And then you learn not to judge your family right,

923
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 5: because your family doesn't need judgment. Your family needs healing. Right,

924
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 5: you learn not to judge your family. And when you

925
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 5: stop judging your family, you go to therapy, you learn

926
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 5: not to judge yourself. Only way I know you can

927
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 5: learn not to judge yourself is really to go to therapy.

928
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 5: You need someone else to show you what they see,

929
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 5: because everything you see from yourself is going to be negative.

930
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 5: That's a human nature. We pick apart all our imperfections.

931
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,879
Speaker 5: Go to therapy, like Canneen said, and then from there

932
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 5: try to help your partner do the same thing.

933
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: For sure.

934
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 3: I mean, the unpacking is so so so important, Like

935
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 3: I've even seen it recently in my interactions with Deval

936
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 3: where I'm just like, oh my god, I am acting

937
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:25,919
Speaker 3: this way because my parents did XYZ. Or I can

938
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 3: see that my sister, my brother and I share this

939
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 3: particular trait or we deal with in a certain kind

940
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 3: of way because that's the way we were accustomed to

941
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: seeing things in our household when we were children. So

942
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 3: then Deval now has a little bit more grace and

943
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 3: empathy for me as I unpacked that and work through it,

944
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 3: because he's just like, Okay, I understand where it comes from.

945
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 3: You're not just acting this way because you just feel

946
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 3: to do it. Yes, it's just what you were accustomed to.

947
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 3: And I'm still learning and unlearning that at my big age,

948
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 3: So there's still time for you, baby, you're only twenty one.

949
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 3: I love that you've acknowledged this early on in your

950
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 3: life and you can really take a turn for the

951
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 3: better just as an individual, as an individual first, and

952
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 3: then it'll impact, of course, your relationship once you work

953
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 3: on unpacking those things.

954
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 2: So good luck to you.

955
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: I think you're off to a great start because you're

956
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 3: wrote in about it and you're aware of it, and

957
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: now it's just time to do the work.

958
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

959
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 5: I used to get extremely defensive when Kadeen didn't do

960
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 5: certain things for me, okay, like as a wife, Like

961
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 5: I'm like, You're like, why wouldn't you do that? And

962
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 5: I had to learn my family history, right, so I

963
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 5: started to ask my mom like why she wouldn't do

964
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 5: certain things for my dad? And I realized that remember

965
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 5: that triggered me, like watching my dad bus his ass

966
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 5: to do certain things and my mom was more like independent,

967
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 5: focused on herself. It kind of made me trigger and

968
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 5: I said, I wouldn't want to marry a woman like

969
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 5: that because it looks very one sided. Then I started

970
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 5: to ask my mom why she was like that, and

971
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 5: she was like, when you not grow up with your

972
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 5: grand your grandmother, your grandfather was in and out, wasn't around.

973
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 5: So my grandmother taught my mom to focus on herself

974
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 5: because you never want to be beholding to someone who

975
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 5: is not going to honor you the right way.

976
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: So she instilled in my mom a certain way.

977
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: To be right and very independent, very head strong.

978
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 3: Like even your mom now when it comes to just

979
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 3: your encouraging her to retire and leave her job or

980
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:20,240
Speaker 3: take some time.

981
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 1: Off, she's going to do it just like no, I'm.

982
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 2: Not going to do it. Yep, your mom is very

983
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 2: head strong in that.

984
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 5: And it's not with malice. She wasn't not doing for

985
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 5: my dad because she didn't love my dad. She thought

986
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 5: she was being the best version of herself, the best

987
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 5: wife she could be, because that's what her mom taught her.

988
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 5: And I found out that my grandmother had her first

989
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 5: child when she was sixteen, so she was young, right,

990
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 5: and it's so it's like, I'm not blaming my grandmother.

991
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 5: I'm not blaming my grandfather. I'm not judging my grandfather.

992
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 5: My grandfather had his first child when he was seventeen.

993
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 5: He was a baby, so it's like there were two

994
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 5: young people who had a child. Things weren't the best.

995
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 5: My mom watched these things. My mom learning took the

996
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 5: best she could from both of her parents, and then

997
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 5: my dad met my mom and I watched it and

998
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 5: I was just like, this don't seem fair. So I

999
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 5: had certain triggers towards women in general based on what

1000
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 5: I saw, and I was able to, over these past

1001
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 5: I think five years, learn more about my family and

1002
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 5: learn why I got so triggered with things that I

1003
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 5: saw because of what I watched growing up as but

1004
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 5: then I learned about it from watching my grandparents. So

1005
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 5: that's when we say learned about your family history. I

1006
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 5: want you to be very deliberate about what you're learning.

1007
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,359
Speaker 5: Don't learn where they're from, parents from Virginia, no, yeah,

1008
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 5: understand their upbringing.

1009
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you can have those conversations, yeah, you know.

1010
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 3: I've had some difficult conversations recently with various family members

1011
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 3: but it just gave me so much clarity on what

1012
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:47,720
Speaker 3: makes me tick as a person.

1013
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 2: And then I felt badly.

1014
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 3: I think when a couple of days ago even I

1015
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 3: was like in the bathroom, like almost in tears, and

1016
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 3: Deval was just like, what's the matter with you? And

1017
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't believe you've dealt with me

1018
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 3: like this was so because it was so frustrating just

1019
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 3: having this conversation with another family member and I'm just like,

1020
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 3: oh my god, this person did exactly what Deval says

1021
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 3: I do when we have conversations, and I'm just like

1022
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 3: the correlation and seeing where I get.

1023
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 2: This stuff from. I'm just like, Okay, yeah, something's got

1024
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 2: to change.

1025
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 3: And that's the whole point, right You want to be

1026
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 3: able to change and do better and be better for

1027
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: your person. So good luck to your sis. I guess

1028
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 3: that's almost all the time we have that. We got

1029
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 3: a little long winded, but that's okay.

1030
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 5: Feel like we be breaking down the past is important

1031
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 5: because sometimes you say learn about your history and like,

1032
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 5: I know where my family's from, I know the culture,

1033
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm not talking about the culture. I'm

1034
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 5: talking about your family dynamics and why your grandparents moved

1035
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 5: the way they did, and how that affected your parents,

1036
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 5: and how it's affecting you.

1037
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 3: The circumstances under which they made moves. It's very important.

1038
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, thank you for listening today, and thank

1039
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 3: you for always continuing to write in and giving us

1040
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: always an amazing portion of the show listener letters, which

1041
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,760
Speaker 3: is my favorite. So keep writing into us. Triples always

1042
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,919
Speaker 3: going to pick some great, great great letters at dead

1043
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,280
Speaker 3: ass Advice at gmail dot com.

1044
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 5: That's d E A D A S S A d

1045
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 5: V I C E at gmail dot com.

1046
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 3: All right, moment of truth time, it's simple for me.

1047
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 3: Sign up for Patreon, y'all, sign up for Patreon. And

1048
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:32,399
Speaker 3: I mean, in all seriousness, if you're looking for ways

1049
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 3: to continue to support people who you enjoy watching their content.

1050
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 3: Creators out there who are taking their time and taking

1051
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 3: their resources and giving you a seat into their lives

1052
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 3: and you enjoy that. The best way that you can

1053
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 3: support them is to looking into areas where they're offering

1054
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 3: things like subscriptions or even shows like you guys have

1055
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: been amazing about showing up our shows. Our Patreon members,

1056
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 3: you guys have gotten exclusive access. I know the front

1057
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,439
Speaker 3: row seats was almost all the way so loud after

1058
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 3: we opened it on Patreon. But we try to make

1059
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,879
Speaker 3: sure we give you guys little perks and stuff too,

1060
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 3: just for being a subscriber and to thank you for

1061
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 3: always supporting and encouraging our families.

1062
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: So we really do appreciate.

1063
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 5: That, yes, ma'am, and my moment of truth is very simple.

1064
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,359
Speaker 5: On your stuff. That is the only way you can

1065
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 5: walk through life and feel comfortable with your image being

1066
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 5: portrayed the way you want it to is if you

1067
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 5: own it.

1068
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: That's it, right.

1069
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 5: We executive produced, we produce, we create, we edit. We

1070
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 5: do everything as a team in here. There's no brand,

1071
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 5: there's no network, there's no one telling us it has

1072
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 5: to be a certain way. So when you see the Elyssis,

1073
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 5: know you're seeing the Elyssis exactly how the Elysses want.

1074
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: To be seen.

1075
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 3: The only person that tells you is going to be

1076
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: a certain kind of way is the vow. That is

1077
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 3: the boss.

1078
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 2: And I'm just a mere employee, asked Josh, who's the boss, y'all?

1079
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the boss in my phone. In my phone,

1080
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: her name is the boss.

1081
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: I'm your boss.

1082
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: Okay, But when it comes to this content, stufs the

1083
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 3: val be the boss, y'all.

1084
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 2: All right, it's the right though, I'll own it.

1085
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 5: But I'll tell you like this though, being a boss

1086
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 5: me knowing when to take advice. We sit down in

1087
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 5: that group and I'll ask Matt will sit there for hours.

1088
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 5: I'll ask them what you think about this. Josh will

1089
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 5: sit down and Josh will tell me, O, this may

1090
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,240
Speaker 5: look the best, but this ain't gonna work trible every time.

1091
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 5: How does that sound, triuble? What does rundown look like like?

1092
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 5: It's it's really a team in the area, not enough

1093
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 5: to shout out my team and I love y'all.

1094
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: They come here every month.

1095
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 5: Yes, we stay up late, we smoke weed, we drink,

1096
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 5: we party, and we do podcasts.

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Speaker 3: We have a good time. We have a good time

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00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 3: while we do it. And deval be ordering McDonald's that

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Speaker 3: the wee hours of good morning. Come on, come on,

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Speaker 3: come on, come on man.

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Speaker 2: I've seen the video. Come on all right, y'all, So,

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Speaker 2: uh here goes theatro.

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Speaker 3: Be sure to find us on Patreon Hello for more

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00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 3: exclusive exclusive dead Ass content and Ellis Family content. And

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00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,959
Speaker 3: you can find us on social media at dead Ass

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Speaker 3: the Podcast.

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Speaker 2: My page is could I am and.

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Speaker 5: I am devout And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

1109
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 5: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. And also don't

1110
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 5: forget it's the end of the year. Get your copy

1111
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 5: of Wee Over Me, the counterintuitive approach. You're getting everything

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Speaker 5: you want from your relationship.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass.

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Speaker 4: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

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Speaker 4: it's produced by Donor Opinya and Triple. Follow the podcast

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Speaker 4: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never

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Speaker 4: miss a Thing